Kai ist über was gestolpert
Autor: Mei_Ilan
Diese süße Saix x Vexen Ficlet habe ich mal IRGENDWANN IRGENDWO in Deviantart gefunden. Und ich wollte sie euch nicht vor enthalten! XD
Imagine this:
You're on a car on a highway, steadily cruising along. You've got a hot ride, and hot tunes, and [beverage of choice] in a cooler in the trunk.
Ahead of you, there seems to be a strange commotion at an intersection; like any good rubbernecker, you slow down and pull over, and what you see stopping the traffic is:
Two men, one blonde and one some absurd shade of blue, standing in the road, naked except for their hair, their scars, and a sign held in front of their unmentionables that they're currently, subtly trying to tug from one another.
You think you can hear them speaking.
"Oh look, someone's stopping."
"I think they're yelling 'get off the road, ya damn hippies!'"
"...Oh."
The sign reads:
"WILL fu-- FORNICATE like mad dogs FOR HEARTS"
Title: Nobodies 4 Hire (or, Xemnas' 452nd Alternate Plan for Collecting Hearts)
Series: KH2
Characters: Organization XIII (Primarily Vexen and Saix)
Warnings: Dialogue-only fic. WTFness.
"I told you 'fornicate' was too big a word for most people to understand."
"Well it's their own fault if they can't. In any case, at least I've managed to enrich their vocabulary."
"It doesn't count if they still don't know what it means."
"Well, the original wording was too crass."
"But far more direct."
"Well, this is a stupid plan anyway. Who came up with the idea to strip down on the road and offer live shows in exchange for heart matter, anyway?"
"Luxord."
"And the Superior approved?"
"Yes. He appears to be enjoying himself. ...With, uh..."
"...Xaldin."
"...Yes."
("Xemnas, I fail to see how this is conducive to our purpose here."
"Nonsense. It's been proven that product demonstrations are known to attract more customers; I'm simply putting it into practice.")
"Well, they're certainly getting a fair bit of attention. ...What is Zexion doing?"
"I'm not sure. Trying to commit homicide, perhaps."
("..."
"What do you mean 'I'll give you twenty extra dollars if you let the midget top'?!")
"Ah, there's Luxord. Attempting to... uh..."
"'Fornicate'?"
"...yes. With his own sign."
"Apparently so."
"It's. It's also drawing a lot of attention."
"It's the sort of thing that would. I doubt, however, that we would garner half as much attention."