Suche nach coolen Sachen (organisiert von Vriska Serket))
Easterstuck
by
Oogie-Boogie
“MUAHAHAHA!”
Vriska laughed manically some time ago. “Easter time!”
Kanaya sighed.
That still slightly mentally disturbed troll girl had tricked Kanaya and some of the others to go onto this wild treasure hunt.
After Vriska heard of the holiday the humans called “Easter” she had one ingenious idea of epic proportions for this day. Well, she called it that, the others were sceptical about it.
But she promised she would adjust the difficulty for everybody in her game.
Which meant Kanaya had to fight against several monster-robot-clowns she had to defeat with her chainsaw in a circus tent.
Kanaya wondered how Vriska managed to convince Equius and/or Dirk to help her with that but she noticed that the weapons the robots were using were made of Vriskas design.
She dodged the swing of a giant mallet made of wood and chainsawed the robot-clown in half. Vriska knew how to create a good challenge but she overdid it with the number of enemies.
But it didn’t matter for Kanaya, she knew how to beat them.
After the last robot was slain, a chest appeared in the middle of the circus tent in a shining light.
The rainbow drinker opened the chest and in it was Rose, bound, gagged and furious.
“Oho you found the damsel!”
“Vriska!”
A flying screen which showcased Vriska appeared before Kanaya.
“You know that wasn’t easy. Do you know how hard it is find rope that is immune to eldritch magic? Also I had to put her to sleep several times because she tried to escape again and again and was almost able to pull it off. She is pretty good as an escape artist. Anyhow, have fun with her.”
This sounded incredibly disturbing for Kanaya. She really hoped that Vriska didn’t intend for her to…
“Will you help me out of this chest or not?”
Rose had managed to unbound herself and remove the gag.
“Of course.”
After she helped her out of the chest Kanaya asked:
“What now?”
“How about dinner?”, Vriska suggested. “I prepared a nice one in the next room, you only have to beat Gamzee.”
“Excuse me dear Vriska but what did you just say?”
“Well, it is a robot Gamzee. We tried to copy his brain patterns onto him but it fried the hard drive every single time. Still, we were able to program something that should be insane enough.”
Kanaya sighed and readied her chainsaw.
“I have your back”, Rose said. “I will help you if necessary.”
Maryam smiled. “Thank you Rose.”
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Sollux was prepared for a lot of things in this derelict ship on the shore but not this.
He was attacked by Robot-Eridans. Many Robot-Eridans. Robot-Eridans in a variety of forms.
He especially liked the zombie variant with a trident in its stomach. A Robot-Zombie-Seadweller with a trident in its stomach sounded ridiculous but he had seen way stranger stuff.
He blasted the enemies away with his optic blasts. It was easy for the most part until he encountered some enemies with reflection shields that reflected the optic blasts. In that case he grabbed them with his telekinesis and either crushed them to a pile of scrap or threw them against another opponent. It was easy but fun for him.
Last came Eridan robots who were shielded against both optic blasts and telekinesis.
Sollux had to use the earth, rocks, soil he ripped out of the ground and some furniture lying around to combat those foes.
They also said stuff in certain situations.
“Wwhat is this nonsense?”
“I can’t believe this is happening!”
“Love/Hate me, I’m pathetic!”
“Wwhy is it alwways me?”
“Death to all who have healthy relationships with other trolls!”
“I look good when I am chainsawed in half.”
Sollux had the feeling that one of the creators of those robots didn’t like Eridan much.
Sollux reached the last room of the derelict ship, the captain's room. In it he found a Vriska robot, clothed like Mindfang.
“Hi, Captor”, the robot greeted him. “I thought you might like to battle somebody serious as the boss.”
“I do.”
“Somebody you want revenge against.”
Sollux didn’t mention that he uploaded a virus into her computer that destroyed her “Auspistice-Folder”. But he made that shortly before she died on the meteor. She probably never looked at it before she died and they all lost their porn on their computers after they had won the game for some reason.
“Are you ready son of Gemini?”
“Yes!”
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After a hard battle Sollux entered the final room. In it was Feferi sitting on a pile made out of cuddly toys, cuttlefish to be exact. She was dressed in a warm fuchsia-coloured pullover, black sweatpants, no shoes and warm cocoa in her hands.
Vriska had explained the plan to her and she didn’t even need an instant to agree.
“Hi, Sollux. I was so close to coming to rescue you. I feared you wouldn’t manage it.”
“Are you some kind of damsel in distress?”
“No, only somebody who is in search of a good moirail. Did I find one?”
Sollux couldn’t lie to himself. He had a pretty hard and pale bulge right now.
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Aradia was running away from a rolling burning stone ball with poisoned spikes and it was filled with explosives.
Vriska wasn’t screwing around with her traps but it was nothing a seasoned archaeologist like herself couldn’t handle. Aradia looked around and found a root in the ceiling. She ensnared the root with her whip and swung herself over a chasm and onto a platform into safety. The stone dropped into the darkness.
She could have used her levitation ability to fly into safety but it was more fun with the whip.
She looked around and saw more platforms.
“I wonder if…”
The platform under her started to shake and crumble.
“As I thought. Time to jump after the running.”
Aradia jumped from platform to platform while they started to crumble under her.
Jumping from the last crumbling platform she reached a old wooden gangway. She took her only way and saw robot skeletons ahead of her. She took her whip again and used them to bash them into pieces.
She felt like she was in a video game.
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After more challenges (including an annoying underwater section) she reached the final room.
A very old room which was still radiating something big and impressive. A crystal skull was placed on a pedestal.
“Too easy.”
Aradia walked up to the pedestal and opened a little door in it. She retrieved a golden panel from it. It showed a scene of four trolls playing FLARP together. A cerulean, a teal, a bronze and a burgundy clothed in something Aztec-inspired or whatever the Alternian counterpart to that culture is.
“Very subtle Vriska.”
The psychic burgundy prepared herself for the next dangerous event.
The room started to vibrate and jackal heads opened their mouths. They started to spew acid with astounding speed and pressure into the room.
“Time to go!”
Aradia hauled bottom and ran away from the incoming acid-flood. She raced through another tunnel full with obstacles. She rolled under the slowly closing stone-door without losing her hat for one second, jumped out of the cave and landed before a robotic tribe with guns, led by Vriska, who was dressed like Troll Belloq.
“You see, Miss Megido, there is nothing I can’t take away from you!”
“Do you really want to re-enact “Raiders of the lost Ark” Vriska?”
“If you want we could at least play until the black make out session between Jones and Belloq.”
“No.”
“Maybe you could like it?”
“No.”
“Boooooooring!”, Vriska said. “Then let us trade at least. This gold-plate for your Lusus.”
Now Aradia was listening. “What did you just say?”
“You have looked for your Lusus as we finished the game, right?”
Aradia nooded. She sounded a little sad as she said: “I wasn’t able to find her. She was not in my sylladex anymore so I thought she was resurrected with the rest but this isn’t the case apparently.”
Vriska shook her head. “No, she was only misplaced. Maybe because she died earlier than the other Lusii.” //Because of me//, Vriska bitterly thought. “Took some time but I found her on earth. She was beating up some sheep dogs who wanted to give her orders as I found her. She beat up the sheep and the shepherd too.”
“I want proof.”
“I didn’t made a recording of the battle, sorry.”
“I mean the proof that my mom is alive again!”
“Yes, yes. Here, have at you.”
Vriska crashed one of her 8-Balls and Ram-Mom jumped out and towards her daughter. Aradia couldn’t believe it and was frozen for a moment so her mom bumped into her and fell with her to the ground.
Aradia started to cry for joy. Her mother did too.
Vriska laughed manically. She stopped after Aradia and her Lusus looked to her.
“Sorry, I’m still working on a non-evil laugh.”
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Tavros was solving another puzzle. He was sitting on a big bird while commanding many beasts at once under him. He placed them at different positions, let them carry things to other places or combined things with other things.
He was in a jungle at the moment, in a place that was segmented in closed off areas.
“Okay, I place this there, that there, the climbing-tree-beast is positioned here and…”
He had reached the last puzzle and it was rather complicated. A lot of things had to be accounted for like numbers, positions, symmetry and the international standard for cactus gardens.
It was tough but after so many puzzles already he had found the hang on it and solved this puzzle too.
“Uhm… Finished. What now?”
A door opened which would lead him to his prize. He assumed that in any case.
He really hoped that nothing bad would happen now.
His robotic legs carried him through the door which emitted a radiant light from within so it was impossible to see what was on the other side.
He couldn’t believe it as he saw a gigantic pair of spider legs, six robotic legs to be exact, which were connected to a very little spider-body. The robotic spider-body had a hole instead of a head, a hole large enough to insert a troll.
Tavros suspected what this could be for. He didn’t like it.
A Vriska marionette on invisible threads came down from above and landed before Tavros.
“Hiiiiiiii Tavros! I congratulate you for solving all the puzzles in this labyrinth. All of them! Your prize for winning is a new pair of legs. Three pairs in fact.”
“Uhm…. Thank you Vriska… But… Those are a little… Impractical.”
Vriska sighed. “Do you know how much I paid Equius to build these things?
”I’m sorry…”
“I should have known you would prefer a lame solution. Look under the spider legs.”
Tavros overlooked it the first time, but under the legs was a glass cylinder filled with a transparent red liquid. Two biological troll legs were floating in it.
“They are fully prepared in every sense. Kanaya helped me a lot to find a good bio-engineer and find your old legs to extrapolate good stem-cells out of them. She had a bad conscience for sawing your bulge of together with your legs. She didn’t knew that it was still fully functional.”
Tavros became a little bronze in the face along with being happy.
Real legs out of flesh and blood AND a bulge.
“I will also pay for the operation. Have fun with all your new legs.”
“Thank you Vriska.”
“I owed it to you.” //I owe too much to you.//
The marionette walked away in dancing way and Tavros looked at his new legs and the great robotic spider legs. He looked at both of them.
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Terezi had captured another robot-dragon on this mountain-plateau and stashed it into her sylladex.
She wouldn’t kill a dragon, never. Well, she would if it the crimes of the dragon are to grave, other people would die if the dragon would live on or if she had no other choice to self herself in a fight with a dragon.
As she learned of the game “The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim” she soon dubbed it the “Dragon Murder Simulator”. She was not happy about the fact that so many dragons had to die because one asshole of a dragon wanted to destroy the world.
She convinced Sollux to program a mod with her in which it was possible to convince the dragons to defect to the Dragonborn. This made the game a little broken after because the Dragonborn was suddenly able to summon 50 dragons with the right shout. They had to insert a new enemy to balance things out. Terezi decided on clowns and her design for the clown-leader reminded Sollux of somebody.
“All similarities are an accident”, Terezi said innocently that day.
She wasn’t even surprised that a robot who looked like a gigantic clown was the next to attack her on this plateau.
Her quest was to find a big dragon hoard which was hidden in this mountain.
She didn’t want to steal it from the dragon, she had convince the dragon to pay taxes.
People who sit on too much money and don’t spend it are bad for the economy.
After slaying the gigantic clown who was either the boss or a mini-boss she proceeded to the dragons cave.
//Her flarping sessions became really creative and way bigger ever since she didn’t have to capture and feed other trolls to spider-mom anymore.//
Terezi entered the cave. She was impressed, the dragon had decorated this cave in an interesting way. Red & teal coloured tapestries, paintings showcasing famous old trolls and statues.
Especially interesting were the many hanged puppets of Spinneret Mindfang. Did this dragon hate Mindfang?
Soon Terezi reached the hoard. Tons over tons of gold, gems, jewellery, coins, bank bills, credit cards, stocks and many other valuable things. That dragon kept up with the times.
Terezi walked over the little mountains of gold until she found the dragon.
It was sleeping under the gold and woke as she stepped onto his face.
Terezi was shocked but retained her calm façade and started to do her famous grin.
The dragon opened her hectoring red eyes. She looked Terezi straight in the eyes.
“Hi, there”, Terezi greeted the Dragon. “Who are you? My name is Terezi Pyrope and…”
The dragon sniffed. Her eyes widened in surprise. She sniffed again. Then she squeezed Terezi to her body while yelping in delight.
“He, he, he, he, he, he! I never thought somebody would be so happy to see a tax-collector.”
The dragon held Terezi to her face. She said: “Redglare… You smell like my grub. So similar… You are her descendant.”
“You are Pyralspite?”, Terezi asked in disbelief.
The dragon nodded. It seemed that she survived the death of her grub to this day.
Seconds later the grand-charge and her grand-Lusus were laughing and playing on the mountains of gold.
Vriska observed this from a safe distance through a cambot. She didn’t dared to go near Pyralspite in any form.
She smiled. It felt good to do good instead of doing bad.
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Vriska lay on a pile made out of fabric-8-balls and was relaxing.
After doing so much good instead of doing so much bad like usual she felt pretty good.
Still she felt one thing despite all the good she did. Solitude.
Her spider-mom was on a rigorous insect-diet since she was alive again.
Luckily for her and Vriska the trolls the spider ate and Vriska organized for her were back too. Well, at least the ones who weren’t total assholes.
But still she felt very alone now. Completely alone for some reason.
//Great, I don’t want a depression now. That suuuuuuuucks!//
Four faces peeked up at the sight of Vriskas line of sight. All grinned like Aradia and worse, one WAS Aradia and her grin was even more disturbing than usual.
The other three were Kanaya, Terezi and Sollux.
Vriska looked back, as cool as possible despite being scared crapless.
“If you’re here to kill me then do it now. Or stop grinning. Anything that would free me from that grin.”
The four instead jumped Vriska and started to cuddle her.
“A pale orgy?”
“More like harmless cuddling under friends, human-style”, Terezi said and laughed.
“Correct, affectionate cuddling. Well, more affectionate from me.”
“Ehm…. From me too”, added Tavros.
“Mine could contain a little hate”, Aradia admitted. “At the moment.”
Vriska sighed. Now she was cuddled without mercy.
It was so lame for her.
It was the best lame thing she could ever wish for.
THE END (and Happy Easter to all of you!)
