Thanks to Sabi-chan, I would love to beta!
Disclaimer: Not mine; sue me if you want but I don't have anything anyways so you won't succeed.
Pairing:H/D
Warning. Slash don't like it leave it!
And now enjoy the ride!
BLIND
I do not know for how long I have been standing at the window, just staring out onto the grounds of Hogwards.
It is a beautiful night, the stars are shining and everything is painted by the moonlight, but I do not see it. My thoughts are far away circling around him.
His friends say that I am blind, blind to something they see, and that I am a poor bastard and annoying git, because I do not see what they see...
And I wonder am I blind after all? Or are they blind because they do not see him the way I do? I know that muggels say that there are two kinds of blindness: Blindness of the eyes, and blindness of the soul.
His friends see a hero, one who is always shining one who always knows what is right or wrong and of course always does the right thing. But they claim they also see him as a person, one who is weak and needs support, and that they love him for being such a person.
I fail to see that in him, I have never seen it, because for me there is no need to see that picture. I see him his soul and his heart. Wonder why only I can see him this way, see that he needs our quarrels, needs them to feel like a true human being.
Everybody needs an outlet for his dark side, and that is my part, I challenge him to let it out I dare him to be annoyed and to snap at me. I dare him to let me see that anger and fear inside of him. I am blind to the hero, because he wants me to be blind, but in every other way I want to see him, I want to discover him. Blindness has left me the day I met him because I saw what it was going to be like between him and me. And when I stand here at my favourite spot it tears me apart because I wish he would not be blind to me. But that is another thing.
It is time to go back to my dorm, and as I want to leave I see a shadow standing in the corner watching me, I turn to face it, and there he is I open my mouth but he closes the distance between us with a few steps and then he starts to talk...
I do not know what has gotten into me, I cannot sleep very well lately and so I get up and take a walk through the castle, it is late at night and nobody is awake, but when I get to my favourite spot to stand at; a window just watching the ground of Hogwards, somebody is already there. I know that person I dare say I am the only one who knows that person. The way he leans out of the window, the way his face is completely relaxed, I am the only one who knows that it is him after all.
I guess he does not know that I know him; I guess he thinks I am blind like everybody else. But as he sees me I see him, I know what he does for me, and I need him to be alive to be real, not always that bloody hero that everybody sees in me. I am a human being and I am not perfect and he reminds me of being real. He shows me the darkness that lies within my soul and he sacrifices himself everyday to me. I have caught him looking at me. And for once I saw him I; saw what he was all about, I saw a torn soul, and I saw that not only I need him but that he needs me as well.
I just stand there watching him; his slender frame perched upon the window shelf, his hair the colour of moonlight. He looks sad, his face not his usual scowl, and his eyes are closed. The saying goes that there is not only blindness of the eye but also blindness of the soul, and I have been surrounded by blind people, who have never seen me. I guess I was blind but now I see him and I want to let him know.
I have not yet made up my mind what to do, as he turns with a soft sight. Apparently he wants to go back to his dorm, but he has seen me; immediately he stiffens, but before he can say a word I have closed the distance between us, and the words just come out of my mouth I cannot stop them and as I speak I realize that this is the truth I did not want to see, but finally I am no longer blind. "Thank you for your LOVE"
As he starts coming towards me I do not have the time to establish that mask I usually wear. And I am vulnerable and afraid of what he might say, because right now I could not put up with a nasty remark, it would go right through me into my very soul, and it would destroy me, would shatter me to pieces and who would then help him. So I just close my eyes, and hope that he has begun to see...
"Thank you for your LOVE" my eyes snap open and I stare into his face, he looks as if he has not yet fully understood what he just said but before I can answer he rushes on "I know that it seems as if I have lost my mind after all you act as if you hate me, and if you want to keep that up okay, forget about me, but I want to say thank you. Thank you for seeing me, thank you for helping me to see who I am and thank you for pushing me to be real, thank you for letting me for once just be who I am a normal man, nothing special just me. And thank you for making me see you! Do not hate me but I want to give this to you!" And with these words he leans towards me and kisses me gently before pulling away and looking at me as if he expects me to kill him.
As I stand in front of him, he has closed his eyes as if he is afraid of what I might say, but when the words start to come out of my mouth his eyes snap open and he looks at me with those incredible silver eyes that glitter like mercury, and his face is so soft and beautiful, his lips are so perfect that I just have to kiss them although I am afraid of what might happen afterwards. But before I have finished that thought I find myself claiming his lips which feel so incredibly soft to my touch, and which taste like a mix of honey and vanilla. As I pull away I am ready to face the consequences of my doing, but he just smiles a genuine smile that enlightens his face and makes his eyes sparkle and he says: "It was never about hating you, it was always love in disguise, but it took you seven years to lift the veil of blindness." before he claims my lips with another sweet kiss.
I have to tell him it is not hate, and now he can see. And I find myself kissing him, finally knowing that he is not longer blind.
They say Love is blindness of the heart, I say not to love is blindness.
