Cold

cold

Cold
 

~Looking back at me I see

That I never really got it right~
 

Ich sitze in meinem Zimmer, meine Arme um meine Knie geschlungen. Tränen rinnen über meine Wangen. Meine Augen sind gerötet. ‚Warum?’ ist mein einziger Gedanke.
 

~I never stopped to think of you

I’m always wrapped up in things

I cannot win~
 

Ich habe dein Gesicht vor Augen. Deine vor Schreck geweiteten Obsidiane. Und die Angst, die sich in ihnen spiegelte, als ich dir die Wahrheit zeigte. Ich bin Kira!
 

~You are the antidote that gets me by

Something strong

Like a drug that gets me high~
 

Ich sehe dein engelsgleiches Gesicht vor mir. Deine dunklen Augen und deine blassen Lippen. Die weiße Haut, poliertem Marmor gleich.
 

~What I really meant to say

Was I’m sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold

Never meant to be so cold~
 

Ich denke an unser erstes Treffen. Du sagtest mir, wer du wirklich warst. Du warst L, der große Meisterdetektiv. Mein größter Feind und das Einzige, woran ich denken konnte, war dein Tod. Wie ich dich langsam umbringe.
 

~What I really meant to say

Was I’m sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold

Never meant to be so cold~
 

Ich erinnere mich an die Zeit, in der wir gemeinsam den Yotsuba-Kira verfolgt haben. Wir waren beinahe so etwas wie Freunde geworden. Doch dann kamen meine Erinnerungen zurück und ich begann wieder dich zu hassen.
 

~To you I’m sorry about all the lies

Maybe in a different light

You could see me stand on my own again~
 

Doch kann ich dich noch hassen? Meine Gefühle sind so verworren. Die Angst zu verlieren, gepaart mit der Panik um dich. Vor dir. Der Tod der sich mit schnellen Schritten nähern und uns trennen würde.
 

~Cause now I can see

You were the antidote that got me by

Something strong

Like a drug that got me high~
 

Jetzt weine ich bittere Tränen, wenn ich daran denke, wie du in meinen Armen lagst. Als das Leben aus dir wich und dein Blick schwand. Von der Erinnerung, an deinen schwächer werdenden Griff übermannt.
 

~What I really meant to say

Was I’m sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold

Never meant to be so cold~
 

Ich erinnere mich an unsere gemeinsame Zeit. Und wenn ich daran denke, dass dein Tod durch meine List geschah. Dass du für das Mädchen, dessen Dummheit mich immer wieder in den Wahnsinn treibt, sterben musstest.
 

~What I really meant to say

Is I’m sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold

Never meant to be so cold~
 

Wenn ich mich für meine Untaten am liebsten selbst richten würde, denke ich daran, wie du für mich gelächelt hasst. Dieses Lächeln war nur für mich. Niemand Anderes hat es je gesehen. Und dafür liebe ich dich.
 

~I never meant to be so cold~
 

Doch ich zeigte dir nie meine Gefühle und meine Angst, du würdest mich abweisen, ließ mich dich noch mehr hassen. Mein Engel der Gerechtigkeit. Ich werde dich nie vergessen.
 

~I never really wanted you to see

The screwed up side of me that I keep

Locked inside of me so deep~
 

Der Wahnsinn hat mich zu dem gemacht, was ich bin, doch du hast mich akzeptiert. Oder war das nur show. Hast du es überhaupt gesehen? Natürlich hast du das. Doch du hast nie etwas gesagt.
 

~It always seems to get to me

I never really wanted you to go~
 

Und wieder beginne ich zu weinen. Mein Herz zerspringt in tausend Stücke. Meine Hände zittern. Ich beiße mir auf den Daumen, so wie du es immer getan hast, wenn du nachdachtest. Wo bist du?
 

~So many things you should have known

I guess for me there’s just no hope

I never meant to be so cold~
 

Plötzlich legst du deine Arme um mich und flüsterst mir etwas ins Ohr: “Ich liebe dich!” Sofort sind meine Tränen versiegt und ich denke an den Radiergummi, den Ryuk mir gegeben hatte. Der Radiergummi eines Todesgottes, mit dem man einen Namen aus dem Death Note radieren und so diese Person wiederbeleben kann.
 

~What I really meant to say

Is I’m sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold

Never meant to be so cold~
 

Ich küsse dich und weiß: du wirst für immer mir gehören. Und wenn du gehst, dann gehe ich mit dir. Denn wir gehören zusammen. Mörder und Meisterdetektiv. Kira und L. Rait und Ryuuzaki. Mit der Zunge bitte ich um Einlass in deinen Mund. Du gewährst ihn mir und willigst damit ein mein zu sein.
 

~What I really meant to say

Is I’m sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold

Never meant to be so cold~
 

Happy Ending ^^
 

Characters: Light/Raito/Kira, L/Ryuuzaki, Ryuk and Misa from Death Note © by Takeshi Obata and Tsugumi Ohba.
 

Song: So cold © by Crossfade
 

Story: © by me
 

Hope you enjoyed it ^^
 

Engel_der_Dunkelheit

english version

Cold
 

~Looking back at me I see

That I never really got it right~
 

Sit in my room, my arms wrapped around my knees. Tears run over my cheeks. My eyes are red. “Why?” is my only thought.
 

~I never stopped to think of you

I’m always wrapped up in things

I cannot win~
 

I still see your face. Your eyes wide of shock. And the fear in them, as I showed you the truth. I am Kira!
 

~You are the antidote that gets me by

Something strong

Like a drug that gets me high~
 

I see your angel like face in front of me. Your dark eyes and your pale lips. The white, marble like skin.
 

~What I really meant to say

Was I’m sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold

Never meant to be so cold~
 

I think of the first time we met. You told me, who you really are. L, the great detective, my worst enemy and the only thing I could think of, was your death. How I slowly kill you.
 

~What I really meant to say

Was I’m sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold

Never meant to be so cold~
 

I remember the times in which we tried to catch the Yotsuba Kira together. We nearly became something like friends. But then my memories came back and I began to hate you again.
 

~To you I’m sorry about all the lies

Maybe in a different light

You could see me stand on my own again~
 

But can I still hate you? My feelings are so confusing. The fear to lose together with the panic for you. From you. The death which comes fast and steadily and which will apart us.
 

~Cause now I can see

You were the antidote that got me by

Something strong

Like a drug that got me high~
 

Now I cry salty tears, when I think of it, how you have been lying in my arms. As the life vanished from you and your gaze faded away. Overcome by the memory of your lighter becoming grip.
 

~What I really meant to say

Was I’m sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold

Never meant to be so cold~
 

I remember our time together. And when I think of it, that your death was my entire fault. That you had to die for the girl, who is so dumb, that it drives me crazy.
 

~What I really meant to say

Is I’m sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold

Never meant to be so cold~
 

When I want to punish myself for my atrocities, I think of, how you have smiled for me. That smile was only for me. Nobody else has ever seen it. And for that I love you.
 

~I never meant to be so cold~
 

But I never showed you my feelings and my fear, that you could reject me, let me hate you even more. My angel of justice. I will never forget you.
 

~I never really wanted you to see

The screwed up side of me that I keep

Locked inside of me so deep~
 

The madness made me become that, what I am, but you always accepted me. Or was it just a lie? Have you even seen it? I’m sure you have. But you have never said a thing.
 

~It always seems to get to me

I never really wanted you to go~
 

And again I begin to cry. My heart bursts into a thousand pieces. My hands shake. I bite my thumb, like you have done it, when you were thinking. Where are you?
 

~So many things you should have known

I guess for me there’s just no hope

I never meant to be so cold~
 

Suddenly you wrap your army around me and whisper into my ear: “I love you!” Immediately the tears are gone and I think of the rubber Ryuk has showed me. The rubber of a Shinigami with which you can erase a name out of the Death Note and reanimate this person.
 

~What I really meant to say

Is I’m sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold

Never meant to be so cold~
 

I kiss you and I know you will be for ever mine. And when you go, I’ll go with you. Because we belong together. Kira and L. Murderer and master detective. Raito and Ryuuzaki. With my tongue I bet for entrance into your mouth. You let me in and aquiace in being mine.
 

~What I really meant to say

Is I’m sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold

Never meant to be so cold~
 

Happy Ending ^^
 

Characters: Light/Raito/Kira, L/Ryuuzaki, Ryuk and Misa from Death Note © by Takeshi Obata and Tsugumi Ohba.
 

Song: So cold © by Crossfade
 

Story: © by me
 

Hope you enjoyed it ^^