Saga couldn’t bring himself to wake the other man; the guitarist seemed too peaceful to be disturbed. Staying as still as he could he turned off the TV via remote and the only light left now was coming from the tiny kitchen light. Saga closed his eyes and listened to Tora’s soft and steady breathing; it calmed him, down to his core. A few minutes filled with peace and content.
The guitarist murmured something in his sleep, at first the blonde couldn’t make it out.
Only the last two words: “…love you.”
The bassist went stiff. Tora again said something impossible to understand and then the GazettE’s guitarist’s name. Aoi. ‘So that’s why.’ Saga thought. He had noticed the subtle changes in the behaviour of the black haired sleeping at his shoulder. The calm man had spoken less than he had in a while. He had started drifting off mentally more often. He was getting unfocused on the things he should concentrate on. Saga had noticed.
He now understood. And felt a terrible twinge in his chest.
Saga leaned back and tried to fight the pain in his heart. Breathing in he looked back at the figure at his right, a tear finding its way over his cheek. He did not want to loose his most precious person to someone else and be left behind. He wouldn’t smile ever again.
Slowly and careful not to wake him Saga took a hold of Tora’s shoulders and placed the other’s head on his lap as substitution for a pillow. He didn’t want the guitarist to have an aching neck the next day after sleeping in an upright position.
After another long look at Tora he leaned back again, telling himself that he should sleep as well.
This situation, however awful it was for him now, would find a solution for itself eventually.
When Saga woke the next morning he remembered everything. Looking at the sleeping face below him a strange feeling befell him, a feeling akin to the love he had felt for what seemed like for ever, but also something else.
The fear of loosing.
He had known that he and Tora would never be bonded by what bonds lovers together but they had always been so close, they hadn’t needed anyone else. And now… with Tora’s heart attached to someone else?
What would become of their relationship? What would become of him, Saga?
His hand started moving without him realising. He moved the fine dark hair out of Tora’s face and stroked the guitarist’s cheek.
Still the other man breathed in his tranquillizing way and the blonde closed his eyes, craning back his aching neck.
Saga prayed for this moment to never end. Then Tora began stirring, bringing up a hand to his head. Saga removed his own. “Morning, sleeping beauty” he smiled at the black haired, who blinked a few times to get himself awake.
Blinking a few times more Tora realised his position and sat up. “Had I been sleeping like that all night?” he asked. Saga smiled again and Tora went on “You could’ve woken me up, geez!” He blushed slightly. “Ii desu yo.” Saga answered and ruffled Tora’s hair a bit. “What would you like for breakfast?” Tora stood up from the couch. “Let’s do something together.” “How about pancakes?” the blonde asked. “Would love it!” Saga turned to the kitchen, smiling sadly to himself.
How much time was left?
How long?
