Bakatsuki   von Jim
                              (Englische Version)
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                                   One Shots
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~Title: A new Job~
~Category: One Shots~
~Number: 001~

Deidara: Hey... where the heck is Kisame...?
Itachi: He got a new Job at a Band. They said their front singer died and he
sounds just like him...
+Kisame walks past them, singing quietly+
Kisame: Denn, du bist, was du isst... +hums+ Es ist mein Teil...*

*Note: What Kisame is singing is a song from "Rammstein", called "Mein Teil". It
is a german band so I left the text in german too.


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~Title: The appearance is important~
~Category: One Shots~
~Number: 002~

+Kisame stands in front of a mirror and looks at himself very closely.
Kisame [thinking]: Darn... my apperance is just too freaky! I have to show more
of my real nature... of a hunter!

+Kisame starts to smile over both ears and opens his eyes as much as possible.+
Kisame: Yees... better... a hunter...

+Sasori passes by and stops in front of his Teammate.+
Sasori: Kisame, you look like a mentally disturbed walrus.
Kisame: The hunter spots his first prey!


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~Title: Carmouflage~
~Category: One Shots~
~Number: 004~

+Sasori stands in front of a mirror and looks at himself.~
Sasori: My appearance is much too conspicious for a Shinobi - I need a
carmouflage that is perfect. ... ... YES! That's it! I will just test this
carmouflage on my teammates. It helped one of the biggest spys in history, it
can't fail!

***
+Kisame and Itachi are sitting around and watching a dented carboard box, which
is dragging a artifical tail behind itself, that tries to sneak past them.
Sasori [thinking]: *snicker* Sasori - you are a genius!
Kisame: Do you wanna smash him or may I...?


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~Title: In the morning~
~Category: One Shots~
~Number: 004~

+Itachi is sitting on a desk with steaming pot of coffee in front of him. Next
to his there is one ready for Kisame. Then Kisame comes, still totally sleepy,
to the table.+
Itachi: Good Morning.
Kisame: *grmpfmpf* Morning...

+Kisame starts to drink all the coffee out of his cup with one pull.+
Itachi: Woah! Watch it Kisame! A coffeeinshock could...

+Kisame slams the cup on the desk, stands up and starts to dance.+
Kisame: Life is life... nananana... *sings*
Itachi: Bingo!


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~Title: Personalitytest~
~Category: One Shots~
~Number: 005~
Plantguy: Hey Kisame, check this out! I found a personalitytest in the internet
that shows you which Akatsuki member you are most like!
Kisame: Show me... +does the test+ ... ...! WAAAAAAAH! +Smashes the PC with
Samehada+
Plantguy: What the... Kisame! What's wrong?! What have you seen?!
Kisame: Deidara as result!


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~Title: Please...~
~Category: One Shots~
~Number: 006~

Kisame: Come on... please file down my teeth... they're used off!
Itachi: +Waving around with a Hand that has only three fingers left+ Fool me
once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me!


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~Title: Curses~
~Category: One Shots~
~Number: 007~
~Date: 20. Nov. 06~

Hidan: Hmpf... I should use my curse against this damn leader the next time.
Leader: *telepathic* If you can stand Montezuma's curse which I will cast upon
you then for that.
Hidan: Hm... when I think about again...
Leader: Smart boy.


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~Title: Secret rendezvous point~
~Category: One Shots~
~Number: 008~
~Date: 23. Nov. 06~

+Hidan and Kakuzu are standing in a dirty public toilet.
Hidan: Okay... and we are here BECAUSE...?
Kakuzu: Like I already told you, I have to bring the corpse of this old sack
here to get the money.
Hidan: And just WHY did those guys chose the dirtiest toilet in the whole
Narutoverse as their hideout?
Kakuzu: You always find something to complain about.
Hidan: Hey, I mean... two guys in a dirty public toilet, you're carrying a
corpse... someone passing by could get the wrong impression, you know?
+A secret door opens and a bald guy with thick eyebrows and a slightly deformed
face comes out.+
Man: Izmir did wait for you, Izmir need fresh corpse for webstream.
Hidan: Okay, I'm SO out of here!
Kakuzu: But he pays good.
Hidan: I don't want to hear why!


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~Title: Stating the obvious~
~Category: One Shots~
~Number: 009~
~Date: 23. Nov. 06~

+Kakashi faces Itachi.+
Kakashi: You can't fool me. Your eyes... they got worse, right?
Itachi (wearing a yellow armlet and holding a white cane): Why do you think so?
Who's even talking there?

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