Not good enough   von Gepo
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                              Kapitel 16: Embrace
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They seemed to have collectively decided not to talk about that evening again.
Staying silent was a lot easier and healthier in his opinion. It was only on
their last day that his mother brought it up for a second when they were about
to part.
“He´s quite alright.” His mother finally told him a few hours before their
flight back. “Unconventional, but really alright.” She kissed Tatsuya´s
cheek. “I want you happy. If a basketball career doesn´t work out for either
him or you, we´re still here.” Her smile was a bit off but genuine. “I love
you even if you come home with twenty babies and no job.”
Tatsuya just laughed and hugged her. “Don´t worry, it won´t be that bad.”
“Nineteen babies then.” She sighed into his hair. “Say, do you know if …
I mean … I don´t want to sound disrespectful but-”
“You want to know if his mental disabilities are hereditary.” Tatsuya
chuckled. “They aren´t.”
“Oh good.” She smiled and pulled back. “I like him but more than three of
him would drive me nuts. Caring for him is already a full-time job. I would find
it exhausting.”
“I do get the perks.” He winked at her.
“Naughty boy.” She smiled ruefully. “Once you are back … please do a
pregnancy test. Just to be sure.”
He just nodded. He had already concluded the same. If he had gotten pregnant due
to this incident, he would abort. And he would not tell Atsushi anything about
it. One day they would have a child, once they were mated and Atsushi had a job.
Until then he would not make his boyfriend sad with anymore talk about abortions
or babies.
“So, you´ll spent a few days in Tokio?” She had a new sparkle in her eyes.
“Yeah, I always wanted to see it.” Tatsuya forced a smile upon his lips as
well. It would take a bit more to be effortless again. “Atsushi grew up there.
Maybe he can show me around.”
“You better buy a map and see that he doesn´t get lost.” She giggled. “He
has a horrible sense of direction.”
“Well, yeah … he has.” He hugged his mother again. “Thank you for
accepting him.”
“How could I not after what happened?” She hugged him back. “Don´t worry.
Most heroes aren´t known for being the smartest.”
True enough.

Oh no. No … of course this had to happen. In the middle of Tokio.
He lost his boyfriend. His mentally deficient boyfriend. This was so not
possible! The guy was over two meters tall and had purple hair. How could you
lose someone like that? He immediately tried calling him but - as always -
Atsushi did not hear his phone.
Tatsuya waited for ten minutes but his boyfriend did not show up again. Okay.
Where could he have gone? Everything was colorful. There were sweets and toys
and games … he could be anywhere. He did not have much money though. Once he
ran out, he would look for Tatsuya. Should he wait here? Or maybe … hm.
Streetball tournament. Yes, his boyfriend was much more likely to find his way
there. He would just go to the tournament in the park right beside this street
lined with shops. He texted the place to his boyfriend. Hopefully that one would
be able to find a park which had signs pointing towards it.
So he wandered over to the park. The tournament hadn´t started yet, good for
him. He looked at some of the teams and came by a group of people asking around
for a fifth player. Hm … why not? He had to wait anyway. He let himself be
signed up and asked his teammates for their experience. The other four were
university students that had played in high-school. So they were experienced but
not overwhelming. They were pretty impressed that he was a starter at Yosen.
Thankfully it made them overlook the fact that he was an Omega.
They played some easy games until they had to play a team called Seiho. They
were extremely good and Tatsuya finally got warm. Without him their team would
have lost spectacularly. It really brought them together. He was still giving
fist-bumps when a slight scent drew in his gaze.
Taiga.
No. What were the chances? Of course this was Tokio and Taiga lived here but …
this was Tokio! It was one of the biggest cities in the world! You did not just
stumble over your long-lost love in the middle of a city of millions as if you
lived in a Shoujo manga! Well, it seemed like he did.
“You don´t look surprised at all. Keeping the usual poker face?,” Taiga
asked him.
He negated that. He did though. If he just ran with his emotions, he would go
over and plant a kiss on his so called brother. His feelings weren´t brotherly
at all, not that Taiga ever noticed that. Oh, had he spoken English? He changed
to Japanese.
So this seemed to be Taiga´s friends. A few Betas, one unremarkable Omega.
Taiga told them their story. It was a bit strange to stand right beside him and
hear about their life but on another note it was interesting how Taiga saw it
all. So he really thought it was only about being rivals and brothers. If it
hadn´t unmasked his feelings, Tatsuya would have laughed out loud.
The other Omega´s eyes were on him instead of Taiga. It seemed like he grasped
the full story. But they weren´t bonded, they did not even smell of one
another. Taiga was still single. Now what? Should he reveal his feelings? Should
he finally tell this so called brother, this stupid idiot, how much Tatsuya´s
heart yearned for him?
He suddenly remembered Atsushi. Dear Atsushi. His hero. Tatsuya shook his head.
Taiga had been the one closest to him, someone he adored, someone he had a crush
on. Was it love? When Tatsuya thought about Atsushi, Taiga felt more like a
passing fancy. He should really end this. It made no sense to long for someone
that seemed more dense than his mentally deficient boyfriend. He really had a
thing for stupid Alphas, didn´t he?
“Let´s fulfill that promise today,” he told Taiga.
That one wasn´t happy about that. Tatsuya had always told himself that
somewhere, somehow, Taiga was most likely in love with him too but didn´t
notice. That his reluctance was a sign that he cared for Tatsuya. Gods, he had
really lied to himself well. Taiga cared for him, yes. He cared for him as his
brother.
“I … you,” Taiga stammered.
Tatsuya sighed and turned back. What? It wasn´t like his dense brother had
finally- oh. Oh, well, that was one jealous Omega. So that one did have feelings
for Taiga. Tatsuya smirked. Most likely his brother had not noticed anything
again. He really had to keep from letting his emotions show when he heard the
other one lecture Taiga.
So Taiga´s new friend had noticed that the redhead had no clue about Tatsuya´s
feelings. He had also decided not to reveal them and made all of this about
basketball pride. That was one smart boy. Taiga really did not deserve the
Omegas in love with him. Tatsuya was fine with this outcome though. He had
Atsushi. This boy could have Taiga. Maybe one day he might go back to actually
talking to his not-brother, once his feelings had settled.
“Sorry, but who are you?,” he asked the Omega.
“I´m Kuroko Tetsuya. Nice to meet you.”
Oh. Oh! Well, that explained a lot. What a strange twist of fate. So Taiga´s
might-be-lover was the Omega abused by Atsushi and his old team. Tatsuya smiled
anyway. He had wanted to meet this guy, even if these were strange
circumstances. Hopefully he would not have a harsh reaction if Atsushi showed
up.
Did Kuroko know that Atsushi went to Yosen? Most likely. Tatsuya had introduced
himself with his school. He still dropped a hint though. Hopefully Kuroko
understood. His serious expression told Tatsuya that he did. So Kuroko was aware
he had been done an injustice. He knew and he was wary of being reminded. He did
not seem afraid though. He gave off a feeling of nothingness but now that
Tatsuya seriously looked at him he saw nothing but strength.
What was Kuroko whispering about with Taiga? They did look a bit hostile. Maybe
because Tatsuya did not hold back his fighting spirit. Atsushi´s pheromones on
him might have something to do with it too. Oh, Atsushi! Tatsuya blinked in
surprise. With all of his fighting spirit, had he really just overlooked his
over two meters tall boyfriend? He sighed. It was the boyfriend that had gotten
him into this mess. He wouldn´t even be playing if his boyfriend had not gone
missing.
“You´re late, Atsushi.”
“Sorry. I got lost.” Big surprise there.
“It´s been a while, Murasakibara,” Kuroko told him.
Tatsuya watched him. The other Omega was tense. Atsushi was careless but he did
notice the tension. Was he intimidating Kuroko? Should he say something? Was
this Kuroko able to fend for himself? Atsushi should really not play jokes on
someone he had raped. His boyfriend did not get the magnitude of his deeds in
the least. He noticed Kuroko´s feelings alright, he just could not link them to
anything but his present actions.
Tatsuya´s heart went out to the other Omega. He had to smile when Kuroko
slapped Atsushi´s hand away. So he was able to set boundaries now. Good.
Tatsuya decided to distract Atsushi for a bit, so that Kuroko could calm and
distance himself. He did not do that though. He stood his ground. So his
experiences had hardened him … and maybe they had made him stronger instead of
weaker. His voice was strained talking about Akashi though. So he was mad, it
was in his undertone. There was an undercurrent of hostility.
While he still pondered Kuroko´s actions, Atsushi told him that they were not
allowed to play in unofficial games. Damn it all. He had wanted to finally
settle the score with Taiga. Maybe it was for the best though. Kuroko looked
ready to rip someone´s throat out. It was an wonder that no one seemed to
notice that. Was it really just Atsushi and him that seemed able to read the
Omega? It was kind of sad. Taiga had his own case of stupidity but that was no
excuse for the rest. He should really look after that Omega more. Atsushi was
better in noticing Tatsuya´s moods than Taiga was in reading his Omega friend.
So Atsushi was the better choice in his opinion.
“Hey, wait. You can´t just barge in here and leave like that,” Taiga said
to Atsushi.
Taiga was such a hot-head. Tatsuya looked over his shoulder to see his boyfriend
plug a part of Taiga´s eyebrows. He grinned, trying his best not to laugh out
loud. Oh gods. No one had ever dared that, even if everyone wanted to. Atsushi
was the best!
Oh no, of course Taiga had to taunt him. Well … Tatsuya did want to play that
game. Especially with Atsushi by his side. Him and his boyfriend against Taiga
and his … not-boyfriend. Whatever. Anyway, this would be fun. Good thing that
Atsushi was this easy to rile up. He just shouldn´t lay on his arrogance … oh
well, most likely he just did not remember the name of that other guy and did
not want to be found out. As if not remembering was that bad. He should just
say.
Wait, he did remember that center´s name? Wow, the boy must have been really
good for that. Tatsuya felt like he should explain just how precious this was
but … well, Atsushi taking his opponent seriously and playing at full strength
was a kind of miracle in itself and this guy probably knew. Teppei. Atsushi had
told him about that guy, right? He had been injured in a game by an opponent. He
had also read about it in one of the old basketball monthly magazines. Atsushi
also seemed to take Taiga seriously. Had he noticed something in Tatsuya´s
behavior? Did he unconsciously feel threatened?
Oh, just why did it have to start raining now? Tatsuya rolled his eyes at being
called off the field. Fate really wanted this match not to happen, didn´t it?
Taiga looked just as annoyed as he felt, even if he did not show it that
obviously. The guy still wore his heart on his sleeve. All in all, he was still
the not so little brother Tatsuya wanted to impress. Maybe he should just do
that? Taiga did not know the last technique he had learned from Alex.
So Taiga was still as easy to impress. Tatsuya felt pride swell up inside of him
at seeing that amazed look. That was what he had fallen in love with, those wide
eyes full of wonder. Atsushi still looked at the world like that, even if
basketball did not stir him.
“Murasakibara, do you still find basketball boring?” It was Kuroko that had
posed the question.
Boring? Basketball wasn´t boring! There was the thrill of playing, not knowing
if you would win or lose, facing your rivals- “If you keep talking about that,
I´ll crush even you, Kuro-chin.”
Tatsuya blinked in surprise. Atsushi did not like basketball? He had never given
off that feeling.
“I don´t know what it´s like to have fun. Isn´t it enough that I like
winning and I am good at it?”
What? That wasn´t sportsmanship at all, it wasn´t about … competing. Well.
Atsushi had never lost to his knowledge. Except for Akashi, his boyfriend had
never lost in basketball. Maybe he did play because it was the only thing that
really worked for him. Basketball and being a good boyfriend, those were the two
things Atsushi was good at.
Kuroko glared at him for that. It was a bit much to expect understanding,
Tatsuya guessed. That someone could play solely for the feeling of being worth
something instead of looking for a challenge. Kuroko obviously fought from the
ground. He was neither an Alpha nor an athlete, he simply looked for challenges
to prove himself. They weren´t so different and were at the same time. Two
different bodies but the same drive. Both just did not want to see their
similarities.
Tatsuya wished they did not have the rape stand between them. Both could profit
from the other if they allowed the other to. It was a sad sight.

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