I'm with you!   von <span style='color: gray;'>abgemeldet</span>
                 (The heart is something only others can see.)
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                             That's why I'm living
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 Chinatsu ,who's in love with Shiro, heard that Shiro and Ann are going out.
Those are her thoughts:

There’s no way he’ll tell me anything about his life, his thoughts or his
feelings. I know so much about him. He is so important to me, I want to help him
if he has problems. I wouldn’t judge him for anything he’d done. I would
listen to him…anytime, anywhere. But that’s impossible. There is a wall
between him and me, which protects him, so that he doesn’t show me the side of
him I don’t know. It hurts. It hurts so much to be no use. Why doesn’t he
care for me? What did I do wrong, so that he doesn’t trust me? It is unfair.
There is no such thing as justice in our world anymore. I could love him so much
that it hurts and he wouldn’t even look at me. Friendship? How does it works,
if he doesn’t know how I feel and I don’t know what’s going on in his
life? I’m sick of this. I just can’t bear this any longer. Crying because I
can’t get near him. Weeping because he isn’t the least bit interested in me.
And now I’m standing here and my time finally ran out. I thought it would get
better if I certainly know what he feels, but this certainty is breaking me
apart. There are no feelings in me anymore. No thoughts. Nothing. Now I’d
prefer pain over indifference. I don’t know what I should do, now, that
there’s no hope left at all. Should I smile to him? Congratulate him? Slapping
him? All of that wouldn’t make sense. I couldn’t congratulate him since I
would be lying if I do. But I couldn’t slap him either because I love him. And
though I love him there are times I feel like I hate him. Seeing him smiling to
another girl. A smile I don’t know. A smile he would never present me. Me, a
girl who can’t stop loving him. Me, a friend. A classmate. A stranger. For me,
that makes no difference.

“Make sure you don’t fall in love with somebody who doesn’t feel the
same” I wanted to tell everybody on that day when I felt nothing. But now I
can look back at that love of mine. Back then I wished I didn’t fall in love
with him. However, today I wouldn’t want to forget the days when I loved him.
When everything he said made my heartbeat faster. When every smile of him made
me feel true happiness. “Your first love”, there doesn’t have to be a
second. But there can be a second. And just because this possibility exists,
I’m living and looking forward to the next day.

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