love me....   von <span style='color: gray;'>abgemeldet</span>
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                                 Kapitel 1: 1.
                                 -------------


1.
There it was again; that awful noise of a baby’s crying. The red-haired woman
holding the baby protectively in her arms could only do enough to soothe the
baby while trying to keep the hooded man out of the light green wallpapered
bedroom. And the young man standing beside her could only watch as the hooded
man blew up the door. The red-head tried to plead for her son’s mercy, but it
was in vain. The man in front of her knew no such feeling. In his heart there
was only hate and the need to destroy.

Harry knew by heart what came next, and it tore his heart apart to have to watch
that horrible scene over and over again in his nightmares. He closed his eyes a
second before Voldemort shouted the killing curse towards Lily Evans. Lily’s
dead body fell to the floor, and baby Harry was left alone to deal with what
would be the beginning of his cursed life.

Tears fell down Harry’s cheek, and he woke up panting and sweating. Again. He
should have gotten used to the nightmares, but no matter how many times he had
them, he could never get used to seeing his mother’s lifeless body. But there
was nothing he could do to stop the bad dreams from haunting him.

He threw the blanket away and stood up unsteadily. There was one thing that
could numb him for a short – but long enough – period of time. Actually,
there were two things, but Hermione was keeping a close watch on him, and going
to Knockturn Alley to find an Oblivion potion wasn’t that easy anymore. But
the first thing was easy to get in any supermarket. Hermione called it a poison.
Harry just called it bourbon. It was the thing’s bloody name after all.

Lazily, he walked toward the living room, kicking the dirty clothes on his way.
He stopped for a moment and looked around his room with a frown. He wondered
when the house-elf had last cleaned it. It was a huge mess, even for his
standards. He made a face as an unpleasant smell penetrated his nostrils.

“Tilly?” he shouted, his voice sounding weird. He cleared his sore throat
but that only made the pain worsen. “Tilly?” he tried again, but the
house-elf didn’t show up. He frowned again. He buried his fingers in his hair,
frustrated, and then he remembered. He had kicked the house-elf out of his
house. He just couldn’t remember when.

It didn’t matter. The bloody creature did nothing but bother him about every
little thing he did or didn’t do. ‘Harry was drinking too much’ was her
favourite line. And Tilly loved to tell on him. The moment Hermione walked in,
Tilly was there telling her just how many times Harry had poured out a drink.
That was why Harry had had to fire Tilly. He just couldn’t stand anyone –
people or creature – telling him what he could and couldn’t do with his own
damn life.

He shrugged. Tilly was gone. He wouldn’t make a drama about it. So his house
was a little chaotic. He couldn’t care less. After all, he could always hire
someone else to clean it up. Someone who wouldn’t ask too many questions. He
just had to find that person or creature somewhere. He missed the old days when
the house-elves were docile little creatures ready to fulfil their master’s
wishes without a word. Then he shook his head. He was being cruel and unfair.
The house-elves deserved all the liberty they had gained after Voldemort’s
defeat. They deserved that and more.  It wasn’t Tilly’s fault that Harry was
drowning himself in self-pity and bitterness.

But he didn’t want to get too philosophical that early in the morning. In
fact, he didn’t want to think at all. He took the bottle of bourbon from the
bar and took a sip. The liquid warmed him all over. He drank half the bottle
before going back to his room. How he got there was a mystery to him. But he did
get there, and he crumbled down on the bed with his eyes closed and his head
dizzy. He smiled weakly as the darkness embraced him. Maybe this time he could
sleep a dreamless sleep. Maybe this time – as it usually happened when he
drank into unconsciousness – he wouldn’t see his mother’s lifeless body
for the thousandth time.

Perhaps this time he would sleep forever.

--

“So, tell me again why me,” asked Draco one more time to see if he had
actually gotten right what was asked of him. 

All the Weasleys were looking at him intently, and to have so many eyes upon him
was very disturbing. Normally, he wouldn’t be disturbed quite that easily, but
this particular situation was anything but normal. For the tenth time that day,
he wondered why he had accepted Hermione’s invitation to be in the Weasleys’
meeting. He had no business there. He was just an outsider. He just happened to
be friends – and partners – with Hermione G. Weasley, now married to Ronald
Weasley. This meeting wasn’t for him. After all, he couldn’t care less about
Harry Potter’s future. He couldn’t care about Potter at all. He was through
with that stupid scar-faced rat. For all he cared, Potter could go screw
himself.

They were enemies. They had always been enemies. It was the part placed upon
them, and they would follow that invisible script until the end. Potter had
never believed in Draco when the blond had decided to join their side. He had
never trusted Draco enough to tell him the Order of the Phoenix’s plans. He
had never given Draco the benefit of the doubt. Draco would forever be a rival
in Potter’s eyes. And that didn’t matter to Draco. Not at all. He ignored
the strange pain in his heart and stared at Bill Weasley, who was quietly
watching him next to the fireplace.

“You’re the only one who can pull Harry out of his misery,” said Ron
quietly. The fiery red-head sounded very upset as he said that. Draco almost
chuckled. He could imagine how hard it was for Ron to say that to him of all
people.

He sighed and crossed his arms. He was the only one who could help Potter? What
a joke. He made a face and wondered who was being punished there: he, for having
to deal with Potter, or Potter for having to put up with him. He hadn’t said
yes yet. He could say no. But he knew it would be hard having Hermione’s
pleading look upon him. Who could have thought that he would ever be softened by
a mudblood?

“Why?” he asked nonchalantly. 

Ron felt like going for his throat. “I don’t know why! It was Hermione’s
idea.” Ron looked at his wife. “She also doesn’t want to explain her
reasons to me.” Hermione didn’t seem to be bothered by Ron’s angry look.
“But amazingly, Ginny agrees with her, and so does my mother, Bill and
Fred.”

Draco met Bill’s eyes for a second and quickly looked away. He felt his cheeks
getting hot and he cursed Bill in thought. ‘Fuck you, Bill! I told you many
times not to fuck with me, just fuck me and be quiet! This is my life, you
bloody bastard!’

“And that’s why you’re here and we’re having this weird conversation,”
Ron kept going without noticing Draco’s turmoil. “Honestly, I have no idea
what you could do to help Harry. He positively hates you!”

“Precisely!” Hermione exclaimed, taking Draco out of his dark thoughts and
getting his full attention. “That’s why Draco is perfect for this
mission.”

Draco scowled. “This is a mission?”

“Yes. We’re all gathering here today to find a solution for Harry’s
depression,” Ginny said. “We came up with you!”

“Why me, for Merlin’s sake?”

“It’s because Harry hates you, Draco,” Hermione began to explain. “We
tried everything with him so far. We tried therapists, potions, friendship and
blackmail. We tried to make him see how pathetic he’s behaving. We tried to
talk to him and be understanding. We also tried to be firmer, but nothing
worked. It was then that it hit me: you! You may be the answer. I mean, Harry
doesn’t like you,” at this point Draco wanted to scream for her to stop
saying that as he knew more than anyone else how much Harry hated him. But he
just let her continue, “If you go there and keep bugging him maybe he’ll
respond to you. I’m almost sure that he will! After graduation Harry at least
listened to us and went out every once in a while, but now he doesn’t even
care anymore. He doesn’t want to get out of his room. He doesn’t want to
talk to any of us. He’s becoming numb. But you might get a response from
him.”

“A response?” Draco smirked. “He’ll curse me with the most painful
curses!”

“That would be wonderful!” Ginny said. Draco shot her a deadly look. He
wanted to accuse her of being one of Harry’s problems, as she had dumped him
after graduation, but with so many Weasleys near by to defend her, he decided to
stay quiet and listen. “I just meant to say that at least he would be having
some kind of a reaction instead of being expressionless like he is now,” she
tried to amend.

“That’s our goal, Draco. That you get him out of his indifference toward
life,” Hermione finished.

“Look, Draco, we just want you to try it. Just go to his house, pay him some
visits and then we will see what happens,” Bill said. This time Draco sent him
a silent warning, but Bill didn’t seem to care.

“Draco, dear,” said Mrs. Weasley. The moment she opened her mouth, Draco
knew it was a lost battle. Sometimes he could say no to Hermione, but he could
never say no to Mrs. Weasley. Not when she was so nice to him even though the
Malfoys had always bullied the Weasleys for generations. Mrs. Weasley had
welcomed Draco into her house with open arms. She treated him like a son. He
couldn’t let her down. She went on, “We know we’re asking too much of
you–”

Damn right they were.

“That isn’t true! Draco owes us a lot for everything that he and his family
have done to us!” Ron said flustered. Mrs. Weasley shot him a cross look and
Ron closed his mouth instantly.  Fred and George laughed at their little
brother’s sulking face.

“As I was saying, dear,” Mrs. Weasley said in a sweet tone of voice, turning
to Draco again. “We know we’re asking too much of you and we know that your
history with Harry isn’t what we can call friendly, but perhaps you’re
exactly what Harry needs right now.”

Draco avoided looking at Fred, but he didn’t have the same luck with avoiding
Bill’s eyes. Draco didn’t know which look was worse; Fred’s mischievous
one or Bill’s matured one. He knew what both brothers were thinking. He blamed
himself for sleeping with them in the first place. Fred, his former lover, and
Bill, the present one, knew too much about him. Draco had never really said
anything to Fred, and he had spilled just a little about his misfortunes in life
and love to Bill, but both Weasleys had Draco figured out even before he had
figured himself out. They knew what lay deep inside his heart.

“And let’s not forget the most important thing,” Mr. Weasley pointed out
worriedly. “We’re afraid of what Harry might do to himself. We’re afraid
he might hurt himself…”

Draco moved uncomfortably at that. Surely the situation wasn’t that bad yet,
was it? The Golden Boy of Gryffindor, the Hero of the wizarding world,
couldn’t be thinking about killing himself, could he? Draco couldn’t even
imagine a world without Harry Potter. Potter’s presence annoyed him, but it
was there. What would happen if Potter wasn’t there anymore?

“I can’t believe he would do such a thing,” Draco muttered.

“Well, I also don’t want to believe in that, Malfoy, but…” Ron sighed.
“I’ve known Harry for a long time, and I never saw him like this. He’s
been drinking a lot. I think… he’s getting some strong stuff in Knockturn
Alley. He’s destroying himself.”

“Harry Potter using drugs?” Draco sneered. “Now that’s something I
don’t believe at all! He’s such a goody-goody!”

“He’s different, Draco,” George said seriously. Draco couldn’t remember
a time where George had been serious about something.

“Yeah, mate. That Harry Potter you used to know is long gone,” Fred
finished. “George and I sent him some new designed stuff from our shop and he
didn’t even care. Those instantaneous parties were a bloody good idea and he
never even bother to tell us how brilliant it was!”

“He’s getting smarter, then,” Draco mocked. Fred discretely showed him the
finger. “Potter was so dull before. He was always so perfect. Maybe now he’s
more interesting,” he smirked, but his trademark smirk didn’t reach his
eyes. It had been so long since he had last seen or heard of Potter. He had
tried to forget his enemy for many reasons and the main one being that Potter
messed up too much with his emotions.

He had tried to deny it – so many times he had lost count – but it had
always been there deep inside of him, and it had grew bigger as they had to work
side by side for the Order. Harry Potter infuriated him but also turned him on
more than anyone Draco had ever known.

But Draco had made a pact with himself. After Lord Voldemort’s defeat and
Lucius’ imprisonment, he had sworn to forget about that madness that drew him
to Potter and he had started a new life. He had a good life now, with good and
true friends, and a good fuck every now and then. Bill was still his favourite
fuck buddy. What was Bill thinking by asking Draco to help Potter?

Draco didn’t want to see Potter again. He knew that if he went to Potter, his
whole life would change. Even if it didn’t change anything, he knew he would
be extremely upset. But he couldn’t bear the thought of Potter killing
himself.

He took a deep breath, not sure if he was making the right choice, but before he
could think about his actions, the words were already out, “I’ll do it.
I’ll bother him so much he will kill me. But I want something in return.”

The Weasleys looked at him puzzled. Hermione frowned. Draco sneered. She should
have known better. He was a Malfoy after all, and Malfoys always asked for
something in return.

“I want his soul.”

Draco almost laughed at Ron’s stunned expression. He smiled and licked his
lips.

“Nah, I’m just kidding,” he said. The Weasleys breathed soundly in relief.
“I just want free tickets for the whole Quidditch season. I’m sure Ron can
help me with that!”

Ron, who was the captain of the Chuddley Cannons, scowled at Draco. “I don’t
think I can get tickets for the whole season.”

“You’ll try,” Hermione said sweetly. Ron could never argue when she used
that tone with him. “We have a deal then!” she said, shaking Draco’s
hand.

While the Weasleys talked, Draco’s mind drifted away to Harry. He felt
Bill’s eyes upon him, but he didn’t look up. He couldn’t. Bill knew too
much. Bill knew this that mission would cost Draco a lot. It wouldn’t cost
Harry’s soul. It would cost Draco’s.



                                 Kapitel 2: 2.
                                 -------------


2.
"So this is it," Fred said sternly. He landed his red flying Ferrari on Harry's
front yard, watching for Muggles. The red-haired man looked around and disabled
the invisibility button. Then he looked at Draco with a mischievous grin. "Oh,
come on, blond princess! Don't tell me you're still sulking about this!" Fred
teased. "You know you'll fucking love spending time with Harry."

Draco scowled and showed Fred his middle finger. "You think it's so amusing, but
it's the tragedy of my short life."

"It isn't amusing. It's fucking brilliant!" Fred exclaimed, clasping Draco's
shoulder and bringing the blond closer until their lips were only inches away.
"You need this. Harry needs this. Hell, Bill deserves this."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Bill?"

Fred looked deeply into Draco's eyes. "Yes, my dear brother Bill. He loves you,
blondie." Draco felt his heart pounding hard against his chest. "He wants to
have you all to himself."

Draco smirked. Bill had told him that already, but Draco couldn't believe him.
He didn't believe in love. Sex and lust were trustworthy. Love wasn't.

"So, sending me here is a way to show me all his love," Draco sneered.

"Yes, it is. It was very hard on him," Fred said seriously. "But he – and I
– think that you have to deal with your feelings for Harry once and for all,
Draco." Draco opened his mouth to violently deny such things as "feelings for
Harry", but Fred was faster, "You're in denial, and it is cute. But Bill
deserves more than that. And so do you. And Harry." Fred smiled and said
playfully, "Harry won't know what hit him…"

Draco didn't bother to reply. For all he knew, Harry Potter was so straight it
was boring. But he wouldn't argue with Fred. It was useless anyway. He just
sneered and got out of the car, slamming the door with all his might. Fred let
out an 'ouch', but didn't get angry with him. Fred never got angry with Draco.
Draco's outbursts were very amusing to the Weasley twins.

"Good luck, gorgeous!" Fred winked and then started the car.

Draco felt an urge of panic as he watched the red Ferrari gaining speed and
flying away, but he held himself in check. He could always Apparate if things
got really bad – as he imagined they would. He took a deep breath and looked
at the sinister house Harry Potter lived in. Number twelve, Grimmauld Place. The
Black's Residence. Draco shivered as he felt a cold breeze crawling through his
clothes.

If Grimmauld Place looked creepy and abandoned before, it looked even worse now.
Draco couldn't understand why any living being would choose to live in that
house, but he could guess the reason why Harry had chosen it. For someone angry
and depressed with the world, Grimmauld Place was the perfect place to be.

Draco remembered very well how horrible the mansion was on the inside. In the
old and glorious days of the Blacks it had been beautifully decorated and richly
ornamented. But now it was just an empty shell of what once represented the
Blacks' power. There were portraits who shrieked like Banshees. It was dark and
dirty even though Mrs. Weasley had tried to make it liveable when the place was
the Order's hideout.

Draco could only imagine Harry's state of mind, living alone in that big house
for so long. Harry was probably going mad, just like Sirius Black. Perhaps that
was Harry's intention all along. Perhaps the raven-haired man wanted to join his
godfather.

And with so many dark thoughts, Draco wondered once again what he was doing
there. He didn't belong in there. His presence wouldn't help Harry. That stupid
idea of sending him over was only Hermione getting desperate.

Draco had a life now, a real life – not a phoney spoiled-brat life such as he
had in the past. This time he was doing the right thing. He had a good
relationship with Bill – or so he had thought. They weren't exactly a couple,
but they were getting there. Fred had just reaffirmed him that Bill loved him.
Then why was Draco there? This encounter with Harry Potter could ruin him. It
could destroy every little thing he had worked so hard to build in his life. He
had had a crush on the Boy-Who-Lived while they were fighting side by side for
the Order. That didn't mean anything anymore. He had passed that stupid phase.
He didn't care if Harry lived or died.

But he knew he was only lying to himself. He did care. Bill knew him too well.
Draco hated his lover for handing him just like that to another man, but at the
same time, he understood. Bill just wanted him to make up his mind once and for
all. Bill wanted him to figure out his true feelings before making a commitment
to him. Not that Draco wanted a commitment, but he did like Bill.

He also needed closure. His thing with Harry had always dragged on. Harry
probably didn't have a clue, but Draco knew exactly how much it ached to be in
love with his enemy.

He clenched his fists to stop his hands from trembling and walked towards the
door. It seemed to take forever to get there.

"So this is it," he muttered with what he hoped was a half-hearted smile. He
pulled out his wand and tapped on the door.

--

Harry tucked his head under his pillow the moment he heard the portrait of
Sirius' mother screaming downstairs. He should have tried harder to destroy the
bloody life-sized picture of the old hag, or at least tried to move it to
another room.

The old woman had improved her vocabulary of curse words over the years, and
Harry had only himself to blame. He used to pass by her swearing like a mad man
and they had verbal battles all the time. He found it a disturbing – but funny
– way of passing the time. In a way, those encounters made him feel alive. But
today he had a terrible hangover. If she didn't stop he would try the killing
curse on her.

And who the hell was at the door? He bet it was Hermione, ready to lecture him
once more. It was her favourite hobby. As if she had nothing better to do as an
Auror. She would rather annoy him about his awful life-style than work properly
like she should. But then again, Ron had told him that her partner was none
other than Draco bloody Malfoy, so he felt a little sympathetic towards her. Who
would want to pair up with Malfoy?

The painting on the wall wouldn't stop screaming unless he got out of bed to see
who was at the door. He carefully stood up, but it didn't make the world stop
spinning. His head felt heavy and his eyes out of focus.

The path between his bedroom and the front door seemed endless. By the time he
reached the last step, his shouts and curses were matching the old hag's
shrieks.

He sent a threatening look at the screaming portrait and shouted, "SHUT UP, OLD
WOMAN! DO YOU WANT ME TO TURN YOU INTO ASHES? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU WILL GET
IF YOU DON'T SHUT YOUR FILTHY MOUTH!"

She didn't usually obey him, but today she curiously did. Harry raised an
eyebrow at her and then he looked at himself in the mirror close to the door. He
looked terrible. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was like the living-dead.
His nasty appearance was probably the reason why the old witch had quieted all
of a sudden. He sniggered. If that was enough to scare the old hag, it should be
enough to scare whoever was at the other side of the door.

He unlocked the door and opened it, and his words were out before he even made
sure of whom it was, "Hermione, I appreciate your concern, but don't you have
something better to do with your time? I'm doing fine and–"

"You don't look fine at all, Potter," a drawling voice cut across him.

Harry opened his eyes wide as he stared at Draco Malfoy. The shock of seeing his
enemy for the first time after four years paralysed him. His eyes roamed over
every inch of Draco. The blond looked different, but he couldn't quite place
what was different about him. His eyes kept scanning Draco's body. The muggle
clothes stunned and confused Harry. He was wearing tight and discoloured blue
jeans, a black T-shirt and a white jacket. They fit him well. The blonde's hair
was impeccably combed and neat, and a silver lock was covering one of Draco's
icy blue eyes. And then he noticed what was different about Draco. It was his
eyes. They weren't as cold as Harry remembered. They looked rather intense,
fiery and… human.

Harry was so astonished that he didn't notice Draco's own shock. Draco couldn't
believe that this poor excuse of a human being was the same Harry Potter he had
gone to school with. Harry was even thinner than he remembered. The raven hair
had never looked messier. Harry was wearing old and loose pyjama pants that
looked like they would fall down at any minute. His chest was bare, but not as
attractive as in Draco's dreams. Harry was too thin. And it was Harry's eyes
that shocked him the most. The green eyes that once had been so lively were now
empty – as if someone had turned them off.

"You changed," they muttered at the same time and then quieted.

It was an awkward moment. They didn't know how to react to each other's
presence. Finally, Harry's angry voice broke the silence, "What the hell are you
doing here, Malfoy?"

Draco's bright smile almost blinded Harry. "I'm your guardian angel for the
month, Potter."



                                 Kapitel 3: 3.
                                 -------------


3.
“You’re what?”

Harry was having a nightmare. What else could explain this strange reality where
Draco Malfoy was in his house, lecturing him about his life and claiming to be
the one who would help him out of his misery? The world had certainly been
turned upside down. The obvious thing to do was to kick Draco out, but the pain
in Harry’s head was killing him, and he just wanted to lie down. He didn’t
lie down, but he did throw up when they reached the kitchen while Draco was
inspecting the mess. The smell of rotten food was too much for his sensitive
stomach.

“Well, I don’t blame you,” Draco muttered as he watched Harry emptying his
stomach in a corner. “The mansion really needs cleaning desperately, Potter. I
feel like throwing up too. Ugh.” Draco made a disgusted face as he saw worms
on an old slice of pizza. His stomach turned. “You really need help…”

Harry slowly sat next to the table and rested his head against his hands. He
closed his eyes but that didn’t help with the dizziness. “I don’t need
help. I’m fine on my own, Malfoy.”

“If you were fine, Potter, you would have thrown me out by now,” Draco said
sitting next to him.

Harry raised his head to glare at Draco. “Damned right I would have.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have the energy to do it... Hangover?” Draco asked
sweetly.

That tone of voice took Harry by surprise, but he didn’t let his guards down.
“Why the fuck do you care?”

“I know a spell that can make your headache go away,” Draco offered. Harry
felt tempted to accept Draco’s help, but he shook his head. Draco sighed. He
didn’t blame Harry for not trusting him. “I understand,” he said. “Do
you at least have some muggle painkillers?”

“Hermione confiscated all of them.” Harry didn’t bother to explain
Hermione’s reasons. Draco probably knew anyway. After all, the blond was there
because of Hermione. She was once again butting into his life. It was outrageous
that she had asked Draco Malfoy to come to his rescue. Harry couldn’t
understand her reasons for sending him Malfoy. When he got better, he would
phone her. “Why did she send you?” 

Draco shrugged. “I’m as surprised as you, Potter. Apparently, I’m your
shock therapy,” he sneered.

A rush of nausea came upon Harry. “Shock therapy, huh?” he grimaced.
“Bloody hell, they sure are desperate…” Harry was convinced that this was
all a bad dream, and that soon he would wake up and his life would return to
normal.

“Where’s your house-elf?” Draco asked.

“Didn’t Hermione, the bloody traitor, tell you everything about my fucked up
life? The house-elf is long gone. I fired her.”

“Then you need another one. This place sucks, Potter. Don’t tell me you
don’t have the money. Even if you don’t, there are still many house-elves
who would work for free.”

Harry glared at him. “I do have the money. I have my parents’ money,
Sirius’ money and I have the big prize for vanquishing Voldemort. I also got a
medal of honour for my services. So as you can see, even if I lived a thousand
years, I would still have a lot of money to spend… Money isn’t the bloody
problem, Malfoy. I just don’t want anyone meddling in my life, least of all
you.” Harry rose from the chair and tried to send his best threatening look
towards Draco’s direction. “That’s why I want you out in ten seconds. If
you’re still here by the time I wake up, I’ll make you feel very sorry.”

Draco seemed unaffected by Harry’s harsh words, which infuriated Harry even
more.

“Get the fuck out of here, Malfoy! What do you think you’ll achieve by
staying? Jesus! Are you out of your fucking mind?” he shouted. “What makes
you think you can help me? You of all people! We haven’t seen each other in
what? Four or five years? And what the fuck! We never got along. We hate each
other, for Merlin’s sake! You can’t just expect to walk in here and treat me
as if we were best friends all along! Hermione was probably doped when she had
the stupid idea to send you here!”

“I didn’t want to come here, Potter, believe me,” Draco said coldly.

“Then why? What did she promise you?” Harry sneered victoriously as he
realised he had hit the target. “I knew it. You would never agree to this if
you didn’t get something in return. What is it? Money? Better accommodations
for daddy in prison?”

“Free tickets for the whole Quidditch Season, actually,” Draco said
composedly, but boiling inside at the mention of his father.

For a moment, Harry didn’t know what to say. He didn’t expect Draco to
answer him so easily. If he remembered correctly, the Draco he had met in the
Order would have been outraged by Harry’s accusations. The Draco from before
had been an annoying prick with a very bad mouth and a high dose of hypocrisy.
Harry didn’t want to have anything to do with him. Even if Hermione trusted
that bastard, Harry would never welcome him. He had endured Draco in the past
because he had to. They had worked side by side; it couldn’t have been any
different. But now he didn’t want Draco here. Draco bothered him too much. If
only he wasn’t feeling so ill. Then he would have kicked Draco out in a
second.

“I’ll get you all the free tickets you want if you just get out of my
house.”

Draco seemed thoughtful. Then the blond shook his head. “They made the offer
first, Potter. Besides, I’m actually trying to be nice for a change… I owe
the Weasleys a lot. I owe Hermione my life. So I think I’m going to stick with
their offer.”

Harry clenched his fists and Draco stood up quickly to avoid being hit. Harry
felt his limbs getting tired, and he turned his back on Draco to climb back to
his room. First he needed to clear up his mind. Then he would deal with Draco
properly. He wouldn’t get anywhere the way he was feeling now.

And in fact, he didn’t. He collapsed from exhaustion before reaching the last
steps of the stairs. Luckily, Draco was right behind him to prevent a
spectacular fall. He shivered at the first contact with Draco’s fingers and
arms. He felt strange. It was the first time that Draco had touched him with
such tenderness, and it confused him. He blamed the alcohol for making him so
weak and puzzled. He wanted to push Draco away but it felt strangely nice to be
held like that. He had the impression that Draco’s hands were trembling, but
he couldn’t be sure. Everything seemed like a surreal dream.

Draco helped him climb the last steps and get to his room with difficulty. Then
Harry was laid carefully on his bed. He felt Draco’s fingers gently caressing
his forehead. Green eyes met blue ones questioningly, but Draco averted his
gaze.

Draco touched the tip of his wand to Harry’s forehead. Harry wanted to shout,
to run away, to curse Hermione for sending the enemy to come to him. But the
faded yellow ray of light that came out of Draco’s wand didn’t harm him. It
only made his head light and his eyes heavier.

‘Sweet dreams, Potter’ was the last thing Harry heard before falling into a
deep sleep.

--

Draco left Harry the moment he noticed the raven-haired man’s breath had
steadied. He then shut the door of the bathroom and breathed hard. In, out, in,
out. It was like an exercise to keep himself together. He was trembling all
over, and it was hard not to fall to the ground as his legs had turned into
jelly.

He had touched Harry. He looked at his hands as if they were alien to him. It
had felt so good to touch Harry, just like he had thought it would. He had felt
a jolt running through his body, exciting every pore. It had been electrifying
and now he couldn’t stop shaking. And that was only their first encounter.

It was a mistake to have come. He should have politely denied Hermione’s
request. He didn’t want to open old wounds. He didn’t want to know for sure
what he felt for Harry. He had a good thing going with Bill. So what was he
doing here?

He took a deep breath and ordered himself to stop behaving like a sissy. His
hands were now deathly cold. He could walk out on Harry. Harry wouldn’t even
remember Draco’s presence in his house if Draco left that exact minute and
never came back.

But he couldn’t go away. The masochist in him wanted to stay.

He went back to Harry’s messy room – the same room that had belonged to
Sirius Black – and watched him sleep. He watched the lightning-bolt scar on
his forehead covered almost entirely by the thick black hair. Harry’s hair was
longer than he remembered. It almost reached his shoulders. Draco felt like
burying his hands in it, but he held himself in check. Then his eyes went down
examining Harry’s eyelashes, nose, until he finally met his lips. Harry’s
lips had once tempted his sexual fantasies. The same lips that were so juicy in
his dreams were now very dry. Harry had been mistreating his body so much.

Draco knew Harry had been through a lot of pain, but he couldn’t understand
why a strong person like Harry had given in to depression. Harry was such a good
person. He had saved the wizarding world. He was beautiful, intelligent, rich,
loved. Everything came easy to him. He was the best Seeker Draco had ever met.
Wasn’t it because of those qualities that Draco had hated him so much in the
past?

Harry could have had everything and yet… He was slowly killing himself. Draco
had seen so many bottles of bourbon, vodka and rum spread throughout the house
that he had lost count.

He couldn’t understand it. Draco was the one who should have been immersed in
self-pity. He was the one who should have lost himself along the way. Draco felt
as if somehow he and Harry had switched roles. It was Harry who was supposed to
be an Auror, not him. Draco’s life had had everything go wrong. Harry’s life
had had everything go right. But Draco was the only one who managed to leave his
past behind and make something out of his screwed up existence. Harry was still
lost in all of his misfortunes.

Draco sighed. He didn’t know exactly what to do. He didn’t even know if
staying was the right option. But first things first. The house could use some
cleaning…



                                 Kapitel 4: 4.
                                 -------------


4.
There was someone in his house. He could hear light steps every now and then. He
frowned and scratched his head. He wondered if he had gone out last night and
brought some strange woman home, as he always did when he was wasted. Then he
looked down at his body and noticed he still had his pyjama pants on. He
wasn’t naked. Was that a good or a bad sign? It took him a few moments to
clear his mind and pull himself together. If it wasn’t his usual one night
stand, then someone had broken into his house.

He took his wand from the bedside table and gripped it firmly. Then he carefully
made his way to the silent corridor. There wasn’t anyone in sight, but he
could hear someone whistling downstairs. The robber was either stupid or just
careless if he had the courage to whistle while breaking into a house. Or
perhaps he had thought that the old mansion was abandoned. It wouldn’t be the
first time. Ever since Harry had deactivated the wards around the house, smashed
teenagers used to steal from the old mansion all the time. He sighed. He should
have left the wards up and found a new Secret-Keeper for the Fidelius Charm. But
those things would awaken too many memories, and he didn’t want that. He’d
rather handle as many drunken teenagers or robbers as there were in the world.
They were easy to deal with compared to what had happened in Harry’s past.

He carefully descended the stairs, trying to be as silent as possible. Mrs.
Black was strangely asleep in her painting. He could hear her snoring loudly.
That was a first. And that should have warned him to what he would encounter
next. Something was very wrong.

The main living room was amazingly clean. He blinked a few times, trying to
remember what had happened the day before. His mind was almost completely empty.
He did remember seeing Draco Malfoy, though, but that was probably just a bad
dream.

Perhaps Tilly had come back. House-elves were like that, weren’t they? Even
when they were thrown out, they usually returned to their masters. But he
didn’t remember ever hearing Tilly whistle.

He heard the whistling again and followed it to the kitchen. There he stopped
dead in his tracks. There was a blond man standing in front of the kitchen
counter, with his back to Harry. A wand was lying on the table right next to an
open cookbook. He frowned. Did Hermione hire him a servant?

Harry kept watching the blond until his presence was noticed. He was shocked to
recognise Draco Malfoy.

“Oh, the sleeping-beauty has finally awoken,” said Draco with a sneer.
“So, how do you feel?”

Harry was mute. He didn’t want to seem so surprised, but he was. His enemy was
in his kitchen, with a very sharp knife in his hands. He pointed his wand at
Draco, who just rolled his eyes. Was he hallucinating? He had heard from someone
that one of the symptoms of alcoholism was hallucination. Maybe Draco wasn’t
really there; he was just a product of Harry’s imagination – although Harry
couldn’t tell why he would hallucinate about Malfoy in the first place. Well,
hallucinations were like waking bad dreams, weren’t they?

“Drop the wand, Potter,” Draco said indifferently. “Do we have to go
through this again?” Harry heard Draco sigh. He gripped his wand tightly as he
saw Draco stepping forward. 

“Don’t move, Malfoy, or I swear to God I will curse you,” Harry threatened
between his teeth.

Draco sighed heavily, putting the knife on the counter. “Look, I’m here
because...”

“I don’t care! Just shut up and get out!” Harry shouted.

“Can I at least fix your lunch? You look like you need it.”

Harry glanced at the counter where Draco was obviously preparing something. It
did smell good, and his stomach was protesting madly. But he would never eat
anything made by Draco Malfoy. It was then that the memories of the day before
started to come back to him. He vaguely remembered Draco’s explanation for
being in his house, but what he registered the most was the mention of Hermione.
 She had done it once again. She had succeeded in driving him mad with her
offers to help.

“She sent you to help me,” Harry said to himself. “You! What the fuck!
What is she thinking? Why did she send you?” Harry clenched his left fist, his
temper rising dangerously.

“Potter…” he heard Draco call him softly. That tone made him even angrier.
Who did Draco think he was to talk to him as if they were friends?

“Accio wand!” Harry shouted. Draco’s wand flew to his hand, and before
Draco could react properly, Harry cast Petrificus Totalus. Draco fell on his
back, petrified.

While Draco silently cursed Harry with his fuming eyes, Harry darted to the main
living room. He stopped in front of the fireplace and called out to Hermione.
His head scanned her living room, and he shouted for her and Ron but nobody
answered him. He pulled his head out of the fireplace, swearing. Soon, Mrs.
Black joined him. He went to the front yard and didn’t bother to look around
for muggles before Apparating to the telephone box that would get him into the
Ministry of Magic.

He heard the excited murmuring as he crossed the big Atrium but barely paid
attention to them. He was blinded by rage.

“Eh, Mr. Potter! Wait!” shouted the Head of Security. “You can’t just
come in like that! There are security procedures you need to….” The man was
silenced with just one glare from Harry.

Harry was aware of the disapproving looks being shot at him, but he tried not to
care. He could imagine what the lot of witches and wizards were thinking of him.
He actually heard two witches gossiping as he passed by on his way to the
lifts.

“Just because he’s Harry Potter doesn’t mean he can do whatever he
pleases! There are laws to be followed,” said a short cranky witch. “What an
indecency!”

“It’s a matter of birth,” replied the other one. “He was never
well-educated. I mean, the poor thing didn’t exactly have parents around, did
he? He was raised by muggles! Muggles are the worst when it comes to
children’s education. Didn’t you read it in Witch Weekly? They have a high
percentage of divorce! Besides he’s a hero whether we like it or not.
Doesn’t that give him a few privileges? He can be a little… eccentric, I
suppose.”

“Just because he’s a hero doesn’t mean he can do whatever he wants to! If
only he were polite… But I heard he’s never nice to people. This is quite
embarrassing for us… We are ladies!” she closed her mouth once she realised
Harry was staring at her with a murderous look. The short witch blushed and
looked the other way.

Harry entered the lift in a very bad mood. He didn’t even wait for the door of
the lift to open entirely on Level Two before getting out and darting to
Hermione’s office.

“Wait, Mr. Potter!” somebody tried to stop him again. And again, it was in
vain. Hermione didn’t seem surprised to see him bursting into her office. In
fact, she looked rather pleased.

“You have five minutes to explain to me why Malfoy is in my house. Then I’ll
give you five more minutes to tell him that you changed your mind and you
don’t need him to help you with whatever crazy plan you have going on in your
psycho head,” Harry said harshly.

Hermione leaned her back in her chair and crossed her arms behind her head.
After stretching, she rested her hands on the small table and smiled. Harry
shuddered. He didn’t like that particular smile. It was never a good sign. And
he was sure of it the moment she opened her mouth and said with phoney coolness,
“It was either him or St. Mungo’s. I thought St. Mungo’s was the last
resort, so Ron and I opted for Draco. By all means, Harry, it wasn’t an easy
decision. Even I know that to send Draco to your house was very risky. You might
end up killing each other.”

“Hermione…”

“Sit!!” she ordered, pulling a chair up next to Harry with the help of her
wand.

He sat down with a grim smile. “Now can we talk?”

“Yes. We can have a civilized conversation now,” she said.

“I want him out of my house,” Harry said with coldness that would have made
anyone but Hermione shudder from fear. “What are you thinking, Hermione? I
told you I’m fine! How many times do I have to repeat myself? And Malfoy? How
can he help me?”

“You’re not fine, Harry. Everyone can see that. Look at you! You’ve had
bags under your eyes for almost five months! You haven’t been eating properly
and when you do you eat all the wrong things. You’ve been drinking a lot, too.
I can’t stand to see you like this! For God’s sake, you’re wearing only
your pyjama pants!”

Harry looked down and reddened violently. He was so angry he didn’t even
realise he had been half-naked when he had left the house. He felt like bashing
his head on the nearest wall. “I haven’t been drinking that much…” Harry
sulked, sinking in the chair. The fact that he only had his pyjamas pants on
showed her the exact opposite.

“Oh, please!” she rolled her eyes. “Have you counted how many bottles you
have lying around?”

He shrugged. “I just don’t throw them away after they are empty. It gives
you the impression that I’ve been drinking a lot when in fact I haven’t!
There are bottles there that are from four years ago!”

“And don’t you think that’s rather pathetic?”

“You’re making a fuss over nothing! What do you care, anyway? It’s my
goddamn life! I can do whatever I want with it!”

“I won’t let you, Harry. And I’m not alone in this. The Weasleys are all
backing me up, even Ron.”

Ron, the bastard. Harry would kill him for turning against him.

“Why Malfoy?” he asked, almost defeated. There were only a few times he had
won an argument against Hermione and this clearly wouldn’t be one of them. But
he wouldn’t give in that easily. Not without a good fight.

“Because I knew he would make you all fired up,” she explained.

“What?” Harry felt outraged by that. “He doesn’t make me feel all fired
up!”

“He does. You’re here, aren’t you? And with only your pyjama pants on!
That means my plan worked. You’ve been so depressed, Harry. I couldn’t even
get a reaction out of you anymore when I dropped by for my daily lecture. You
even stopped screaming at me to leave you alone. Do you really think I would
stay quiet and just watch you give up on everything? No. The Weasleys and I
discussed it over and over. We would put you in St. Mungo’s with or without
your approval. And before you ask, yes, we can do that. Just look at your pyjama
pants!” Harry raised an eyebrow. She didn’t need to keep mentioning his
pyjama pants. He was more than aware of them by now. She went on with her
speech, “It would have been for your own benefit. But I thought St. Mungo’s
was too harsh, too desperate. I wanted you to come out of your numbness without
the help of medication. Merlin knows you’ve been medicating yourself too much
already.”

“That isn’t true,” Harry denied sincerely. “Perhaps I am drinking a
little too much. But I don’t do drugs, Hermione. I haven’t bought the
Oblivion potion in quite a while. I’ll be fine.” Harry sank into the chair
and sighed. “Jesus! I’m not that fucked up yet. I don’t need to go to St.
Mungo’s! What kind of a friend are you anyway? Doing things behind my back!
You would actually confine me in St. Mungo’s??”

She sighed. “We wouldn’t confine you. But they have professionals there.
Maybe they would be able to help you, because God knows we are trying to help
you, Harry, but you won’t let us.” She sounded very sad. Her expression
softened Harry.

“St. Mungo’s won’t help me. They didn’t the last time! I’m really
angry with you and Ron right now. But I understand…” He looked down.
“Maybe I am depressed. Who isn’t these days?” he tried to joke. “But the
last thing I need is Malfoy in my house.”

“Just keep him for a month.”

Harry thought that her choice of words was very funny, so he smiled
involuntarily. “You talk like he’s a pet.”

“Isn’t he? He’s so cute.”

“Ugh. Malfoy is anything but cute. He’s a pest.” He paused, and then
grunted, “I’d rather go to St. Mungo’s than have him in my house…”

She raised an eyebrow. Truth be told, she had just made that St. Mungo’s story
up. “Are you sure?” she asked.

He seemed to be really thinking about it, which scared her a little. It was Fred
and George who suggested the St. Mungo’s idea as a joke. They would never do
something as drastic as that to Harry. They had done it in the past, right after
Voldemort was killed, but not because they had wanted to. They hadn’t had a
choice. Harry had been catatonic that time. So to bring up St. Mungo’s again
was a low punch, but she felt like she had to.

It was Hermione and Fred who came up with Draco, but for their own reasons. The
main one was to be able to play cupid. They knew that Draco’s obsession for
Harry was more than just an obsession. And Hermione had always suspected that
Harry had secretly been attracted to Draco. All of Harry’s relationships had
been a total failure. Ginny had told her that Harry had always acted distant
when they were together. The only one who seemed to be able to get under
Harry’s skin was Draco. Therefore, they should be together. But that was just
her – and Fred – daydreaming. Perhaps she had gone too far by sending Draco
over to Harry’s house. Harry would never be stupid enough to fall for that. He
would never allow Draco to stay.

“He really gets on your nerves, doesn’t he?” she said thoughtfully.
“Just a few minutes with him and he already made you leave your house
half-naked.” She smiled.

“It isn’t funny,” he muttered angrily.

“Look, Harry, when you were in St. Mungo’s, do you know who pulled you out
of your catatonic state?” Harry shook his head and she went on, “It was
Draco. He came to visit you once. He sat by your side and kept talking and
talking. We don’t know what he said, but whatever it was, it worked. On that
same day, you blinked as if you had just woken up from a long dream, and then
you spoke, Harry! You opened your mouth and asked for a glass of water. You have
no idea what we felt when you started talking again. We hadn’t heard your
voice in ages.”

Her eyes were shining emotionally. Harry didn’t know what to say.  “Why
didn’t you tell me this?”

“I don’t know. At the time I just thought you wouldn’t care to know.
Besides, Ron didn’t think Draco had anything to do with the whole thing. He
thought it was just a coincidence. Listen, Harry, if you really want me to tell
Draco that…” she was about to just give up on her stupid idea when he cut
her off.

“He can stay,” Harry said before thinking. That story about Draco being
present on the same day that he had come to life again had surprised him. He
needed to clear that up and there was only one person who could do that. “But
only for a month. After that, he’s out and I don’t ever want to see him
again. I have no idea how he can help me, and quite frankly, I think you know
that. You’re plotting something. I just haven’t figured it out yet.”

“I just want the old Harry back again. The fact that Malfoy is your opposite
might bring you back to life, Harry. He did it once before.”

He snorted. He could understand why Draco had been chosen to help him, but at
the same time it was all very confusing. He didn’t know Draco had visited him
in St. Mungo’s. Nobody had bothered to tell him. Why had Draco visited him in
the first place?

He would let Draco stay so Hermione and the others would leave him alone. He
would also let him stay because he was curious. He told himself that he could
handle Draco. It would only be for a month. A whole month…

He closed his eyes tiredly. ‘Just breathe, Harry. Just breathe and everything
will be fine…’



                                 Kapitel 5: 5.
                                 -------------


5.
Harry Disapparated from the Ministry after convincing Hermione to let him out
unnoticed. He didn’t want to put on a show again by walking around half-naked.
She seemed to be thinking about it, which had scared Harry a little, but in the
end she just smiled and showed him a backdoor that only a few staff members knew
about.

When Harry returned to his house, he wondered when Hermione had become so
sadistic. She had always been bossy, and now she was bossier than ever, but she
had never been so obstinate in telling him what to do. Harry had thought about
talking to Ron, but Ron had as much power over Hermione as Harry had over Mrs.
Black: absolutely none.

He made a face. He was being quite unfair by comparing Hermione to Mrs. Black.
But then again, Hermione was being very unfair to him. To make him chose between
Malfoy and St. Mungo’s was rather cruel. He wasn’t crazy, but he would be
soon since he would have to live with Malfoy. 

He couldn’t stay mad at her for too long, though. Hermione was the voice of
reason. She always knew what was best for him. But this time he was really
having a hard time trying to understand why Malfoy was the chosen one. What
could Malfoy do to make him feel better?

He slammed the door distractedly, and Mrs. Black shrieked in her portrait.

“You bloody traitor! You piece of scum! To let that filthy child in here! That
bloody traitor! He’s a disgrace to the Malfoy’s name! Motherf!”

Harry opened his eyes widely at the last word. She really was getting nastier.
He didn’t remember ever using that word around her.

“Hey lady!” he exclaimed dropping in front of the portrait and glaring at
her. “Would you watch your language?”

“Oh, just shut up you half-breed piece of shit!”

“No, you shut up! I’m sick of your bloody banshee’s voice! Just shut the
fuck up! Stop bothering me! Your fucked-up family is all gone now! You are the
one who’s filthy! The only one who deserved a better future was Sirius! You
deserved what you got, you old hag!”

Mrs. Black quivered her eyelashes, cheeks and lips, and Harry covered his ears
only a second before she let out her most potent screech. Because of her loud
scream, he didn’t notice someone sneaking behind him and didn’t hear when
the same person shouted ‘Accio wands’. It was just when he felt his and
Draco’s wands flying off the waistband of his pants that he realised what was
happening. He turned around quickly and saw Draco pointing his wand at him. He
bit his lower lip and called himself stupid.

It was as if the air around them had been suspended. He could have cut the
tension with a knife. Draco looked murderous and absolutely lustful. The crystal
blue eyes were almost silver with rage. Harry felt a strange heat running
through his body. He felt paralysed, but not by fear. It was something else,
some strange emotion that made him want to do strange things. Only Malfoy made
him feel that way.

He frowned, not wanting to go that way. It was too dangerous to even consider.
One thing was clear though, and it got him really upset. Hermione was right.
Draco did make him feel fired up.

He waited for the blow that would come from Draco’s wand. And it came, but
didn’t hit him. It hit Mrs. Black. He glanced at Mrs. Black, who had just
fallen into a deep sleep, and then back at Draco with a puzzled expression. But
what scared him the most was the fact that ever since he had spotted Draco
there, he had totally forgotten about the old hag.

“I thought you were going to get back at me,” Harry said, trying to forget
those unsettling feelings.

“I will. But the old lady was getting on my nerves. Honestly, have you ever
considered moving her to another room? Or perhaps burning her would be a better
choice,” Draco said with his usual drawling voice, the one that irritated
Harry the most.

“I can’t do it. Her painting is quite resistant and won’t even scratch.
Believe me, I’ve tried,” Harry said coolly. “I did quiet the other
paintings, but I can’t make her shut up. How did you do it?”

Draco smirked, “I guess I’m more powerful than you.”

Harry sneered. “Sure, Malfoy, if it makes you feel better, keep thinking that
way. But really, what did you do?”         

Draco took a step forward and Harry a step back. “I disabled her ability to
speak and put her to sleep.”

Harry frowned and crossed his arms. “How’s that possible?”

“Well,” Draco smiled arrogantly. “You do realise that a spell is
responsible for making all the paintings move and talk, right? Well, not just a
spell, but a few potions mixed with the paints as well. It’s quite a
complicated procedure, and it requires patience and knowledge. Anyway, the point
is, if there’s a spell, then there’s counter-spell. It’s simple as
that.”

Harry felt like hurting Draco’s superior face. “And how did you learn that?
We never learned it in class.”

“To learn that you would have had to attend a Magical Arts’ Class. Because
it’s a very difficult art, they are very elitist, so they don’t just accept
anyone.”

“But they accepted you, because you are the perfect picture of an elitist
bastard,” Harry sneered. “Am I wrong?”

Draco smiled. “Yes, as a matter of fact, you are. I haven’t attended art
classes. I learned that in the Auror training. There are some nasty portraits
out there. Not all of them are friendly. And while some might be put to sleep
with common spells, some are quite resistant, like Mrs. Black.” Harry muttered
under his breath that he knew that very well. Draco ignored him. “We have to
learn how to disable impolite paintings on our missions. You know, I was the
second best in class. You can imagine who the first was.”

Harry felt really stupid, and his hate for Draco increased. Once upon a time, he
had aimed for a position as an Auror, and even though Snape had tried to make it
difficult for him, he had managed to pass the test and be Hermione’s and
Ron’s classmate.

He was good in the subject. In fact, he was even better than Hermione. His
professors had always told him he was a natural. And the problem had been
exactly that. At the time, he had been sick of violence. He didn’t want to be
a war machine anymore. One war had been enough for him. He had lost too much. He
didn’t want to be responsible for anyone anymore. That was why he had dropped
out after six months without explaining his reasons to anybody.

But it hurt to hear Draco telling him about his Auror classes. It hurt to
realise that he should be the one in Draco’s shoes. He should know the damn
spell to quiet Mrs. Black. He should have done some research about it at least.
But he had chickened out.

“You weren’t in my class,” Harry pointed out quietly.

“I was a late bloomer,” Draco sneered.

“Actually, you are a pain,” Harry muttered. He was in a very bad mood now.
He needed a drink. He stared at Draco, who didn’t seem upset with his comment,
but seemed rather… hurt. Harry raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me I’ve
finally gotten to you. I’m shocked.”

“Even bastards have feelings, Potter,” Draco sniggered.

Harry shrugged. “Whatever. I suppose you also used your wonderful Auror’s
skills to break the body-bind spell. Or am I losing my touch and its effect
didn’t last long enough?”

“I used my Auror’s skills.”

“Good for you. If you excuse me, I’m going to have a drink. I would offer
you one, but you’re not a guest in this house. You’re more like an
intruder…” Harry marched towards the main living room, but he froze as he
looked at the empty bar. There wasn’t a single bottle in there. Even the empty
ones were missing. He panicked. “What the fuck…”

“Spring cleaning, Potter,” Draco whispered close to Harry’s ear, making
him jump. “This is payback.”

Harry clenched his fists. He had made a pact with Hermione, but it didn’t mean
Draco had to be around him 24/7. He breathed hard. It would only be for a month,
he told himself. He would endure those thirty days stoically just because he
didn’t want to be sent to St. Mungo’s. St. Mungo’s was the bottom-line. He
wasn’t so bad that he had to be sent there. But wasn’t Draco’s presence in
his house a sign that he had indeed, reached the bottom? Wasn’t he about to
lose his mind just because he was out of alcohol? Wasn’t that a very bad sign?
No, it wasn’t. Draco should have asked him first before throwing his bottles
away. It was Harry’s house. This was his territory.

He turned to face Draco, and he needed all his strength not to look away from
the intense blue stare as he said, “Let’s clear something up. I just talked
to Hermione, so in order to be left alone I agreed that you could stay here for
a month. But that’s it.”

Draco raised an eyebrow. “I can stay here for a month?”

“Yes. I don’t care if you’re going to sleep in or what. You can stay, but
there are rules you must follow. Number one, don’t mess with my things!”

“You agreed with Hermione? You went to see her in the Ministry?” Draco
looked thunderstruck.

“Yes,” Harry said, aggravated. “I went to see her. So, as I was
saying…”

“And you went only wearing those old things?” Draco asked, pointing out his
pyjama pants.

Honestly, what was with these people and his pyjama pants? Harry clenched his
fists even more. “Yes. But, anyway, about the rules…”

“So I can stay.”

“Yes! Dammit! Why are you making me repeat myself? We are clear on that
matter. You can stay!”

“As in stay in? I can live here for a month?”

Harry breathed hard. He would soon be screaming like Mrs. Black. “YES!
WHATEVER! I DON’T BLOODY CARE! YOU CAN STAY HERE FOR A MONTH! BUT THERE ARE
SOME RULES…”

Draco’s chuckle took Harry by surprise. For a while, he was totally lost about
what to do. He had never seen Draco smiling. He had never heard him laugh like
that. It was oddly… refreshing.

“Oh, boy. That was something I would have loved to watch. You, in the
Ministry, half-naked! I’m sure Hermione will give me the details later.”
Harry frowned, still incapable of opening his mouth. “Ok. Rule number one,
then. I do the cooking, but not all the time.”

“I didn’t ask you to cook…” Harry muttered bitterly.

“Whatever, Potter. As I was saying,” Draco went on, “I still have work to
do, and I can’t exactly tell my boss I’m baby-sitting the Great Harry
Potter. He let me out today as an exception. Number two, no drinking and
smoking, at least not when I’m around. Number three, we go for walks every
morning, and by morning I mean at 6 A.M. I have to be at the Ministry by eight.
I have my own flat, you know, but I think I can stay here for a month… I get
off work at 6 P.M. My evening schedule is a little flexible, but sometimes they
keep me there for longer. Hermione is my partner and she’s a workaholic, so
you can imagine my pain… I’ll try to come back earlier, though. I wouldn’t
miss your company for anything in this world.” Draco’s sneer made Harry’s
blood boil. “So, shall we eat now? Your lunch is ready.”

By the time Harry had his comeback on the tip of his tongue Draco had already
left the room.



                                 Kapitel 6: 6.
                                 -------------


6.
What a day. His magical clock said 10 P.M. All Draco wanted right now was a
shower, a warm meal and a cosy bed – although he wasn't so sure that the last
two were remotely possible. He would be happy to crash on the couch if that was
the case. He just wanted to get some sleep and forget about work for a few
hours. If he and Hermione had to cover for the Department of Magical Law
Enforcement one more time, he would scream.

First they had had a tough time on two raids. Then on their way back to the
Ministry, they just had to have dropped by a pub where five drunken wizards in
their mid twenties seemed to find it very amusing to show a bunch of stupefied
muggles some neat magical tricks. It wasn't his or Hermione's job to take care
of that particular situation, but "Hey Draco, since it's on your way, couldn't
you and Hermione check it out for us?" was the Captain's favourite line.

While Draco had wanted to tell him to go bother some other fool and send someone
from his own goddamn department to handle that pathetic situation, Hermione had
been ahead of him with her usual "Sure! No problem! Right, Draco?"

No, it actually was a problem. But it was hard to tell Hermione that. She was
the perfect employee. Draco was just a lazy bastard who thought that fulfilling
his own duties was more than enough. But because of Hermione they had spent
quite a few hours fixing the mess of the five stupid wizards with the help from
the Obliviator Headquarters.

Draco tapped his wand on the front door, cursing himself for not taking a key
with him. He could use a spell, but he wanted to try the polite way first. Since
knocking was having no effect whatsoever, Draco went for the most potent
unlocking spell. The door opened with a creepy sound. Draco took that as a bad
sign.

Draco and Harry hadn't made any progress. The only successful thing Draco did
was get on Harry's nerves. Period. For Hermione, that was great news, but for
Draco it was just one more thing to worry about. At least Harry had eaten his
food – although he had asked about poisoning before tucking it all in as if he
hadn't had anything to eat for days.

The blond sighed and made his way into the house. Mrs. Black looked oddly quiet
as Draco stared at her. He smirked. She was probably afraid of him now. After
all, he had put her to sleep two times already. She knew better than to mess
with him.

"There's another filthy half-breed in this house," she said, taking him by
surprise.

"What do you mean?" he asked. He didn't like her wicked tone of voice.

She only smiled mysteriously, which made him really upset. He left his briefcase
on the floor near the painting and saw light coming from the main living room.

So Harry had a guest. Who could it be?

He didn't know why but with every step he took he felt more and more
apprehensive. He didn't know exactly what to expect, but he certainly didn't
expect to see a woman on top of Harry, coiling around him like a snake, licking
down Harry's naked chest. Draco froze on the spot, incapable of doing anything
but watch with horrified fascination as the scene played out a few meters away
from him. The woman had dark hair, a slim body and huge breasts that were now
suffocating Harry's face. Harry wasn't complaining though.

Draco narrowed his eyes and the light blue turned very dark. He clenched his
fists as he heard the woman moaning. His stomach jolted. He barely saw the empty
bottle of vodka on the floor. He was too busy watching Harry's dazed expression
as the woman swallowed his stiff cock. He couldn't take his eyes off Harry's
face. Harry looked so lustful. Draco had imagined that scene a thousand times
before, but in his dreams he was the one pleasuring Harry. He was the one making
him moan and throw his head back as Draco took him in his mouth.

Draco felt sick, and then his vision went blurry. He could still hear the moans
as the woman rode Harry, but he could see no more than two shadows moving. He
gulped. Suddenly he was desperate for a drink.

He turned his back on them and walked away. He stumbled but didn't stop running
until he was far away from those irritating and sickening sex noises. He thought
he heard Mrs. Black laughing, but he couldn't have been sure.

Leaning against the cold wall, he slid to the floor and hid his face behind his
shaking hands. His heart was pounding so fast he thought it would tear his chest
apart. He needed to get a grip, and fast. He wasn't Harry's boyfriend. In fact,
he didn't mean anything to the Golden Boy. Draco didn't have a right to react
this way. He shouldn't be feeling outraged. His heart shouldn't be aching so
much. Harry wasn't cheating on him. Then why couldn't he get hold of himself?

He wanted to wipe the scene he had just witnessed out of his memory. He hated
himself because of his weakness. He hated the fact that he was acting like a
cheated lover. He hated the fact that all of his insecurities were coming back
to him just because he had caught Harry screwing someone.

He smiled bitterly. It wasn't as if he didn't know the risks. He didn't really
expect to make Harry fall in love with him, did he? He didn't have those foolish
hopes. He knew very well Harry was straight. Hell, he wasn't making any sense.
Draco didn't mean anything to Harry. He didn't mean anything to anybody.

He was being melodramatic. He was overreacting. If Fred could see him now he
would make fun of Draco for the rest of their lives. Draco was always composed.
He wasn't emotional. So why was he freaking out? Why did he feel like crying? He
hadn't shed a tear in years.

He had watched his father being taken away without a word. He hadn't complained
when his mother had expelled him from Malfoy Manor and had deprived him of his
heritage. So why now did he feel like he was falling into pieces?

What could he do? He felt lost.

He took a deep breath and collected his wounded self from the floor. He wouldn't
just stand there suffering or he would never forgive himself. He was feeling
rather pathetic and Draco was anything but that. He couldn't let Harry see him
like this. It would be too humiliating for him. And how would he explain to
Harry how painful it was for Draco to catch him with his dick in a strange
woman's mouth? He had to get out and forget about the whole thing, or at least
try.

And he knew just the person who could help him.

--

Bill didn't remember ever seeing Draco looking so lost. His sexy blond seemed
totally worn out. More than that, Draco was behaving as if he was in a state of
shock. Nothing else could explain why he was holding Bill so tightly. Draco
didn't like intimacy. He usually sneered when Bill did something romantic, so
now Bill was shocked for Draco's strange and needy behaviour. Something had
happened, and he could bet every galleon he had that it had to do with Harry.
But Draco didn't want to talk about it. He just wanted to be held by Bill.

What else could Bill do but welcome him in his arms? What else could he do but
take Draco to his bedroom and love him? The moment they had laid down on his bed
Draco had kissed him eagerly, clinging to him as if his life depended on it. It
was impossible for Bill to resist.

Bill had undressed him quickly, eager to feel all of Draco too. He wanted to
take everything that was being given to him so freely. It wasn't every day that
he could see Draco so out of control, so willing to give into pleasure. Draco
was usually so composed in bed, so in control of his own emotions that it felt
great to have him like this, completely abandoned with every touch, moaning and
wanting to do things he usually didn't. Bill loved this wild side of Draco. He
loved the neat blond hair in disarray, the pink lips swollen and pleading for
kisses.

"Ah… ah…" Draco's excited voice penetrated deeply inside them both. Bill let
himself go, praying for the moment to last forever, but knowing that it
wouldn't.

Later on, Draco took his time in the shower with Bill by his side. Then, more
collected, he ate the macaroni and cheese Mrs. Weasley had sent Bill. All the
time, Bill paid full attention to him, but didn't ask him anything. That was the
reason why Draco liked Bill most. He never demanded anything from Draco.

"Are you ok?" Bill asked when they were in bed.

Draco nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Bill embraced him from behind and Draco closed his eyes. He was feeling better,
but at the same time he knew he was being unfair to Bill. In fact, he wasn't
being fair with himself either. His mind was still on Harry and the woman.

His fingers enlaced Bill's. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Bill frowned. "Why?"

"I attacked you."

Bill's soft laughter against his ear made him shiver. "I wish you'd attack me
more often."

Draco smiled. "I guess I could do that."

Bill's fingers stroked him gently. "Did you have a tough day?"

"Yeah. You know how it is. Hermione either doesn't know my limits or she just
doesn't care."

Bill chuckled softly. "Nobody can stop that woman." He kissed Draco's shoulder
and then muttered, "And how was your first day with Harry?" Bill felt Draco's
body stiffen under him and he knew he shouldn't have asked, but it was too late
to go back now.

"It sucked," Draco answered after a few seconds. "He isn't as depressed as I
thought." He went out and got himself a woman. That was what Draco wanted to
say, but didn't.

"What do you mean?"

Draco shrugged. "I dunno. It was my impression of him, that's all. He does look
pathetic though."

"Well, last time I saw him, he looked pretty bad. He had bags under his eyes and
a dead expression on his face. It was scary. He didn't used to be like this."

"And that's what makes him so pathetic."

"So he isn't depressed."

"I don't know and frankly, I don't care," Draco said, upset. "Can we change the
subject?"

"He got to you, didn't he?" Bill let it escape.

Draco glared at him. "What do you mean?"

Bill knew better than to answer him, so he just shrugged. Draco didn't seem
satisfied with that, but since he didn't want to discuss the matter any further,
Draco changed the subject, "Does your offer still stand?"

Bill held his breath for a moment. "Yes. I want you to live with me."

Draco leaned his elbows on the bed and stared at Bill silently. Bill was so
beautiful, so perfect. Why wasn't Bill enough? Why couldn't he just settle down
with him? Why did he have to complicate his life by having Harry in it again?

"Have you thought about it?" Bill asked. Draco could see the longing in his
eyes. He sighed. He wished he had not only thought about it, but accepted as
well.

"I'm still thinking about it. I think I would love to…"

Bill placed a finger on his lips. "Don't say anything now. Say it when you are
ready. I want you to be sure of what you want."

Draco nodded and rested his head on Bill's chest. The only thing he was sure of
was that he didn't deserve Bill. His lover knew him so well even without him
saying anything. Bill knew Draco was upset because of something Harry did. He
knew that whatever decision Draco made today would be based on that.

That was why Draco had to go back to Harry's house in the morning and face him
once and for all. He needed to forget. Harry was wrong for him. He needed to let
go of that silly crush. And he would.



                                 Kapitel 7: 7.
                                 -------------


7.
Draco entered Harry’s house at precisely 6 A.M. He had woken up that morning
suddenly feeling refreshed and full of energy. Of course, he had woken up with
gorgeous Bill Weasley by his side. He smiled at the memories of the two of them
making love on the coffee table. Perhaps he should consider moving in with Bill
more seriously.

As for Harry and his own pathetic behaviour the previous night, well, he
wasn’t the type of man to sulk for too long over anything. He wouldn’t
suffer for someone like Harry. He could have Bill. He didn’t need Harry. This
phrase was his new mantra, the one he would repeat over and over until his mind
and heart were convinced of it.

This was the reason why he was back at Harry’s place. He wasn’t there just
for Hermione, he was there for himself. He needed to bury Harry from his
memories once and for all, and the only way to do that was to stay close to
Harry on a daily basis. Then he would be convinced that Harry was indeed just an
idiot who had the sex appeal of a Troll. Perhaps he was pushing too far by
comparing Harry to a Troll, but a guy could hope.

Life was good again. Harry meant absolutely nothing to him and he should keep
that in mind. It wouldn’t do him any good to fall for a straight guy anyway.

He glanced at Mrs. Black in her painting and sent her his most devious smile.
She stared at him with distrust as if pondering if she should provoke him or
not.

“Where’s Potter?” he asked.

“Still in the living room, dead, I expect,” she said coldly.

“I’m sure you do,” Draco sneered. “And the lady?”

“I might be old and outdated, but I know a lady when I see one and that filthy
woman was anything but that. But what can you expect from a half-breed?”

“Is she here?” Draco asked, ignoring Mrs. Black’s rude comments. He had
also called the woman names last night, so he would be a hypocrite if he called
it to her attention.

Mrs. Black pressed her lips together. She didn’t like to talk to someone she
considered inferior to her. Draco pulled his wand out of his waistband and she
shivered visibly. “She is long gone. He doesn’t like them to stay.”

Draco frowned. “Them? So this happens frequently.”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Are they prostitutes?”

“They are all whores to me, especially the mudbloods,” Mrs. Black said with
contempt.

Draco made a face. He didn’t think Harry would pick up whores to sleep with
him. After all, he was the Great Harry Potter. He sure was more than capable to
find women willing to sleep with him for free. Or perhaps Harry was so pathetic
he had to pay for sex. Draco shrugged, trying desperately to ignore a pang of
jealousy in his heart. He didn’t care about Harry’s sex life. It wasn’t
his concern.

He trotted to the living room with his Malfoy confidence back in place. He
stopped near the couch where a half-naked Harry was dead asleep, and then his
breath got caught in his throat. Even looking like a poor excuse of a human
being with his mouth half-open, Harry still could make his heart beat faster.
Draco cursed himself in thought and clenched his fists.

He had made a deal with himself, right? Just before leaving Bill’s apartment,
he had promised not to fantasise about Harry anymore. He had promised to give
his relationship with Bill a chance and leave that stupid crush on Harry aside.
He was an over-confident, self-absorbed Malfoy. Malfoys did not fall in love
with idiots. Malfoys did not feel a pressure in their hearts at the mere sight
of their beloved – not that Harry was his beloved. Bill was his beloved. Bill,
with his body of a Greek god, was the one who made Draco’s heart beat faster.

He closed his eyes. He wasn’t feeling a pang in the tip of his stomach. The
memories of the previous night were not coming back to haunt him. He wasn’t
feeling an ache in his heart again. Those strange symptoms were probably from a
cold, or just a product of his imagination. Bill was more than enough for him.

He opened his eyes again and stared at Harry, who was now snoring softly. Draco
thought it was cute, but then he shook his head and told himself to get a grip
and wake up the sleeping-beauty. With the tip of his boots, he shook Harry’s
legs one, two, three times. He called Harry, shouted for him, but Harry wasn’t
giving any indication that he would wake up any time in the near future.

Calmly, he pointed his wand at Harry’s face and muttered a spell. In two
seconds Harry was totally wet and staring at Draco as he if was a deer caught in
the flashlights of a car.

“What? What happened? What’s going on?” Harry asked confusedly. His thin
body was shaking all over. It took Harry a while to come back to normal and
realise he was in his house and not in some strange place. “What the fuck!”
he stared at Draco murderously. “Why am I wet? What did you do? It is bloody
freezing! You filthy bastard, son of a…” And what came next was a list of
curse words that matched Mrs. Black’s.

Draco ignored Harry completely, which made the raven-haired man more irritated.
After the rant, Harry stood up and dashed for his bedroom without looking back
once. If he did, he would have seen Draco calmly following him.

Draco sighed. It would be a very long day again.

--

Harry couldn’t believe Draco’s nerve. How dare Draco wake him up like that?
He wasn’t a child. He was in his own house, for God’s sake!

He lay down on his back – now completely dry – and stared at the ceiling,
trying to remember what had happened last night. He had a hangover again. It
wasn’t as bad as the last one, but it was enough to put him in a bad mood. He
also felt dizzy and thirsty. He could smell a sickening perfume coming from his
body and he frowned. He knew what it meant. He had slept with someone the
previous night.

It was as if a bolt had struck him. If he had slept with someone, where was
Malfoy at the time? It was something that bothered him, even though it
shouldn’t. Why did he care for Malfoy’s whereabouts? Malfoy didn’t exactly
tell him he would be back when he left after lunch. So perhaps Malfoy hadn’t
come back last night. But if he did, then he would have seen Harry in the living
room… having sex… with a total stranger.

Harry felt his cheeks getting hot. He had never felt so embarrassed in his whole
life. He didn’t know why he felt so disturbed at the thought of Draco watching
him, but the fact was that he did feel disturbed and there wasn’t anything he
could do about it. He bit his nails. He could ask Draco, just to make sure. But
wouldn’t that be even more embarrassing? Maybe he should just bury the subject
forever? Pretend it never happened? Yes, that was better. It wasn’t as if
Malfoy would mention it. Would he?

The important thing now was to get even with Draco for throwing water at him. He
should focus on that for the time being. Hating Malfoy was what he did best. He
would keep doing just that.

He lay on his back again and laced his fingers together. He just needed to sleep
again and then he would deal with Draco.

“Oh, no, Potter. Not again!” he heard Draco exclaiming, upset. “I’ll be
late if you don’t get up right now, and I hate to be late for work. You know
very well what Hermione is like when she’s upset.”

What was he talking about? He felt a cold touch on his forehead and he opened
his eyes wide. Draco had his wand pointed to his forehead and before he could
react, he heard Draco muttering a spell. “What…” Immediately, the
dizziness and pain in his head were gone. He breathed in relief. His eyes came
across Draco’s and his heart started to beat faster. Strange, he thought.
Perhaps it was a side-effect of Draco’s spell.

“Let’s go, Potter. You have five minutes to get dressed.”

Harry frowned. “Where are we going?”

“Jogging! Don’t you remember? I told you I like to jog every morning before
going to work. It makes me feel more energetic. Come on, don’t be lazy. You
sure need some exercising.”  

It was then that he actually paid attention to Draco. The blond was wearing a
white T-shirt, a cotton jacket that matched his sleek black trousers and grey
sneakers. His hair was once again properly combed. Harry envied him for looking
so bloody perfect. Draco looked radiant that morning. The blue eyes were
sparkling and the white skin was slightly rosy. Draco looked so handsome, so...
sexy.  Satiated was a proper word to describe Draco’s state of mind, as if he
had just had sex.

Harry froze. He didn’t like where his thoughts were going. It was very
dangerous to go that way. He couldn’t understand why Draco’s sex life could
be any of his concern. He could understand even less why the mere thought of
Draco having sex made his blood boil.

“I don’t want to jog!” Harry spouted, totally aware that he was behaving
like a spoiled brat. “Why should I?”

“Because this is your shock therapy, remember?” Draco said coldly.

“So what? I’m not going. I hate jogging. I won’t be much company anyway. I
will slow you down and complain all the way.” Harry stopped and pondered. The
jogging idea was getting interesting now that he realised he could irritate
Draco.

“If you go, I’ll teach you how to cure your hangovers.”

Blackmail, huh? Harry sniggered. That was Draco’s favourite weapon. The offer
was very tempting, though. In the end, Harry heard himself agreeing, putting
some clothes on and getting out of his house for the first time in ages. He
wasn’t getting out to buy food, booze or to pick up his next shag. He was
actually going out to exercise.

He wondered if it would rain. He was feeling so tired and lazy. What was he
doing? He really was becoming pathetic. He had just made a bargain with Draco
Malfoy. The odds of something like this happening to him in the past were
minimal.

He watched Draco running by his side. The blond looked so perfect that it was
annoying. After ten minutes, Harry was ready to give up, crawl back to his house
and die whereas Draco wasn’t even sweating. His eyes scanned Draco’s body.
The blond looked deviously attractive. There wasn’t a single woman who
didn’t stare at him as they passed by. Harry felt angry with himself for
noticing this and getting jealous of Draco’s stunning and beautiful body
shape. Draco’s body language screamed sex.

Then he looked at his own petite, thin body that looked even more fragile now
that he wasn’t taking care of himself properly. While everybody was eyeing
Draco with desire, the eyes cast upon Harry were of pity and wonder. Draco
looked like a model. Harry looked like a homeless person.

He felt short of breath. His body wasn’t used to the exercise anymore. He told
himself that he had done enough for one day and sat down on the nearest bench,
gasping for air. He was angry with himself for letting the situation escape his
control. He was angry because he was nothing but a shadow of what he used to be.
But he wouldn’t blame himself. It was a lot easier to blame it all on Draco,
to make him a scapegoat for his frustrations in life. To see Draco so full of
himself, so confident, so healthy, was like a punch in his stomach.

If Draco, with all his failures and bad character had managed to keep on living,
then why couldn’t he?

“I hate you!” Harry shouted as Draco sat next to him. Draco seemed taken
aback for a second, but he quickly put his mask of indifference back on. Harry
went on, “Did you know that the only reason I’m putting up with you is
because I don’t want to go back to St. Mungo’s? I don’t need you or anyone
else to keep an eye on me. I’m not a child!” Harry laughed bitterly. “Life
is so damn ironic, isn’t it? When I was a kid, there was no one to care for
me. But now that I’m a grown man, everybody feels like it’s their duty to
take care of me. They do it because they like me, right? But it’s all a big
lie. They just feel guilty. I don’t need anybody. I’m fine on my own.”

Draco shook his head. “What are you talking about? They do care for you.”

“No, they don’t. They just don’t want to give up on me, because I’m the
poor little orphan. They want to make it up to me somehow for my fucked-up life.
Well, it’s too late now. And I don’t need a bloody fag to baby-sit me.”



                                 Kapitel 8: 8.
                                 -------------


8.
“No, they don’t. They just don’t want to give up on me, because all they
see is poor little Harry. They want to make it up to me somehow for my fucked-up
life. Well, it’s too late now. And I don’t need a bloody fag to baby-sit
me.”

The moment the words came out of his mouth, Harry regretted them. But then, it
was too late to take them back. He didn’t know why he had snapped. Well, he
did know, but it was hard to acknowledge his motives. The truth was that Harry
was jealous of the way Draco seemed to handle his life so well. Seeing Draco
jogging and being admired by everyone was too much for Harry.

He didn’t want to be out of his house. He wanted to go back to the comfort of
his bed and the warmth of his drink. There, hidden from society, there was no
one to judge him, to talk behind his back, to bloody ask for his autograph. He
hated to go out when it wasn’t necessary. He hated to have so many eyes on
him, and worse, eyes that were comparing him to Draco, the son of a Death
Eater.

Draco represented everything he hated and wanted to forget.

So Harry had snapped and called Draco a fag. He had never known for sure if
Draco was gay or not, but there had been enough gossip flying around Hogwarts to
make him believe that Draco was, in fact, gay. At the time, that seemed to be
the obvious reason why Lucius had kicked Draco out. Lucius would never allow his
son to be a queer. So Lucius had expelled Draco from Malfoy Manor, and the blond
had joined the Order just to irritate his father. Or so Harry had thought. He
didn’t know for sure. He didn’t know anything about this new Draco. He just
wanted to hurt him.

“You know, all you have to do is tell me to go away,” Draco said, staring at
Harry with such intensity that Harry averted his gaze.

“I did tell you that. It didn’t work,” Harry groaned.

“Then ask me again and this time I promise I will leave you alone.”

Draco stood up and crossed his arms. He seemed to be very angry. His pale cheeks
were slightly pink and his eyes had darkened.

“I can’t,” Harry muttered, hating himself for looking down instead of
staring deeply into Draco’s fierce look.

“Because of St. Mungo’s? Hey, no problem. I’ll tell Hermione that you
don’t need to go to St. Mungo’s. I’ll tell her that you aren’t as
depressed as she thought you were. I mean, you did go out last night, didn’t
you? You brought a girl home with you. I’ll leave out that the girl was
probably some stranger who you won’t bother to look for ever again, but other
than that... You are not depressed. You’re just pathetic.”

Harry looked up, his blood pressure rising dangerously. “You… You… You are
pathetic!” You saw her! You saw me. You saw… us. “So what? What do you
care? It’s my life! You should be happy. You were right about me. I’m a
fucking loser!” Harry stood up so he could be face to face with Draco. “And
fuck you! Were you spying on me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Draco exclaimed, blushing. “I wouldn’t do such
a thing.”

“But you saw the girl that was with me.”

“I did, but it was an accident. If you had told me that your hobby is to pick
up strange girls and fuck them, I wouldn’t have come back to the house last
night. I would have stayed in my apartment.”

“I didn’t know you were coming back. You didn’t tell me anything.”

“You did! You told me I could stay in your house for a month!”

“I didn’t know you would take it so literally.”

Draco raised an eyebrow. Harry didn’t know which one of them was more
confused. “I’m not crazy, Potter. I know what I heard. You told me that you
didn’t care if I slept in for the month. Those were your exact words.”

Harry frowned. “Really? I don’t remember saying that.”

Draco sighed. “It doesn’t matter now. My deal with Hermione is off. She
won’t take you to St. Mungo’s, I promise. We will let you live your own
miserable life alone.”

Draco started to walk away with his hands in his pockets. People were staring at
them again, wondering what their quarrel was about. Harry clenched his fists and
walked after Draco.

“Ok. I’m sorry,” Harry said between his teeth, not sure of what he was
doing. The only thing he knew was that he was sick of everything. He hated
Draco, but it didn’t mean he had to be cruel to him. Not like that.

Draco stopped abruptly, making Harry bump against his back.

“What exactly are you sorry for?” Draco asked, upset.

“What do you think? I’m sorry for calling you a fag.”

Draco shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. You’re not the first to call me that,
and you won’t be the last.” The blond started walking again.

“Wait. Look, I didn’t mean to call you that. It’s just that…”
Harry’s voice died away when Draco turned around and glared at him.

“Don’t, Potter. I said it didn’t matter. It’s true anyway, and I’m
sure that you don’t want a bloody fag sharing the same roof with you. It was a
displeasure to meet you again. Farewell.” Draco took a step away, but
Harry’s voice stopped him.

“So you really are gay.”

Draco frowned. “Yes, I am.”

Harry sighed and then said, “I don’t have a problem with that.”

Draco stared at him utterly confused. “You just fucking called me a fag!”

“Well, yeah, but just because I wanted to piss you off. I mean, look at you.
Once you were a total prick and nobody liked you. Now you’re high and mighty
Draco Malfoy, second best in the Auror’s Headquarters, respected by everyone,
just too bloody perfect for me to handle right now. You can’t just expect me
to be nice to you! To be perfectly honest, what bothers me the most isn’t the
fact that you’re gay, but the fact that you are Draco Malfoy. I want to hurt
you in so many ways I can’t even say it. I’ll keep hurting you if you stay.
Wasn’t that the reason why Hermione chose you to help me? My hate for you
makes me feel alive.”

Harry could see in Draco’s expression that he had disarmed him with his
honesty.

“I have gay friends. Fuck. Someone close to me is gay. So I don’t give a
fuck whether you like boys or girls,” Harry said. “As long as you don’t
come on to me, I really don’t care.”

Draco raised an eyebrow. “Why would I come on to you, Potter? You look
horrible. Besides, you’re not my type. I like independent, self-resolved
red-heads. I don’t like losers.”

Harry licked his lips. He didn’t know why he felt so upset hearing that. He
deserved it.

“Ok, then. So you’re not homophobic. But that doesn’t change anything. You
still hate me,” Draco pointed out.

“I do. But you already know that. It isn’t a secret.”

Some indistinct emotion shone in Draco’s eyes. Harry would have given anything
to know what it was.

“Then I’ll leave you alone. Have a happy life, Potter.”

Harry sighed deeply. He watched Draco walking away again, torn between going
after him and letting him go. He did want to be alone again. He didn’t want
Draco around. Draco’s presence was disturbing. But somehow he needed Draco
around him.

Draco had saved him once on one of the Order’s missions. Harry had been
careless and Draco had saved him from a deadly curse. Since that day, Draco had
made him feel strange. He had always felt upset when Draco was around, but his
feelings had changed and he didn’t know exactly how or what they had become.
He was afraid of looking too much into it.

He had always wondered if the reason he felt so confused was because he was
bonded to Draco by one of the most powerful spells there was. The same bond had
connected Snape with his father even after James’ death. Harry owed Draco his
life, and he hated that, but he couldn’t forget it. Just like Snape.

And if Hermione was right and Harry had come out of his catatonic state because
of Draco, then their bond had increased. He wanted to break their bond, but he
didn’t know how. He wanted to stop thinking so much about Draco. That was the
truth, wasn’t it? No matter what he did, his mind always drifted to Draco. He
wanted to get rid of those strange feelings, and the only way to do it was to
keep Draco around. Or was it to keep him away?

Harry didn’t know what he wanted, but all of a sudden he saw himself running
after Draco. He caught the blond at the entrance of the park. Draco had his head
down and a pained expression on his face that disconcerted Harry.

“Malfoy, wait,” Harry called out to him. Draco immediately put his mask back
on and glared at Harry with distrust.

“What do you want now?” Draco asked, upset.

“I just want to tell you that you’re a bloody coward and a bloody sissy.”
Draco arched his eyebrows and Harry went on, “Are you giving up so easily?
What will Hermione say when you come back with your tail between your legs? You
always lose to me. Are you going to let me beat you again? What’s wrong with
you? You know I hate you. You know I like hurting you. I will forever call you
names. I don’t know why you are so surprised! You used to really hurt me with
your nasty comments. Don’t you remember? Or do you have a selective memory?
You attacked me where it hurt the most. You made fun of my parents’ death. You
can’t expect me not to want to hurt you back.” Draco looked down, unable to
say anything. Draco’s vulnerability took Harry by surprise. “Let’s make a
new rule. We can attack each other as much as we want, but you’ll have to
leave my mother and my father out of it, and I’ll leave your sexuality alone.
How’s that?”

Draco frowned. “Does that mean you want me to stay?”

Harry groaned. Did he really need to say it aloud? It was so embarrassing.
“Yes, I want you to stay. Not because I like you or anything… But just
because… because… You know we have a life and death bond right? I want to
break it. So maybe if I let you stay…”

Draco sniggered. “That figures... You’re worried about that, huh?”

“Aren’t you?”

Draco shrugged. “Not really. I mean, I’m not the one indebted to you…”

Harry felt like punching Draco’s arrogant face. “So what’s it going to be,
Malfoy?”

Draco put his hands inside his jacket pockets and cocked his head. “With such
a sweet invitation, how can I not accept? But I have my own conditions.”

Harry looked at him with distrust. “Oh. What are they?”

“You don’t attack my parents either.”

“That’s not fair! What’s the fun if I can’t attack your father?”

“Ok. I’ll make an exception with my father, but not my mother.”

“Ok.”

“And if you break your promise, you’ll have to strip for me and run around
the block naked.”

“WHAT?” Harry’s eyes flew open. “No way!”

“To be fair, if I break our deal, then I’ll have to do the same.”

“How is that fair?” Harry raised an eyebrow. “I’m not a f…” Harry
stopped and then amended, “I have no interest in seeing you naked! And I
thought you found me unattractive!”

“I do. I’m not doing it to shag you, Potter. I’m doing it for fun,”
Draco sneered.

“You are a bastard.”

Draco smirked. “Oh, but you know that already.”

Harry clenched his fists and bit his lower lip. “Ok. We have a deal.”

Draco’s mischievous smile sent shivers down his spine. “Ok, then…”

There was a long period of silence. Finally, Harry decided to break the ice
first.

“I’m hungry. Shouldn’t you be cooking breakfast?” he asked Draco.

“I’m not your bloody maid.”

Harry smirked. “You could have fooled me. Aren’t you here to take care of
me?”

“But you don’t like me. Why should I cook for you?”

“Don’t ask me. Ask Hermione. She was the one who sent you here…”

Draco crossed his arms thoughtfully. “I won’t cook for you everyday. I have
work, you know? You should call your house-elf back.”

“No. That’s not an option.”

“You liked my cooking that much?” Draco smirked.

“You aren’t so bad…” Harry said, blushing slightly. “So? What’s it
going to be?”

Draco smiled. “What do you think, Potter? Let’s eat.”



                                 Kapitel 9: 9.
                                 -------------


9.
No matter how hard he tried, Draco couldn't concentrate on his work. Hermione
had already called this to his attention four times, but it was no use. His mind
was focused on Harry and that weird morning they had spent together.

What an awful way to start the day. An argument with Harry hadn't been in
Draco's plans. In truth, he knew Harry would have snapped sooner or later. He
just hadn't expected it that soon. Draco had let his guard down that morning. He
should have been prepared for Harry's harsh words. He should have seen them
coming. But he hadn't and now he was paying the price for being so careless.

He hadn't expected to feel so miserable. He had had no idea that it would hurt
so much to hear Harry calling him a fag. Harry's apology wasn't enough. He
wanted to see Harry begging for his forgiveness. It would be even better if
Harry gave him a blowjob in exchange for absolution. Draco shook his head and
smiled sadly. That was something that would never happen.

'You know I hate you. You know I like hurting you. I will forever call you
names. I don't know why you are so surprised!' Harry's spiteful words kept
coming back to him. Along with them came others, even more hurtful and unkind.
Draco remembered very well his father's words the day he had caught Draco in bed
with another boy.

'You're a disgrace! A perversion! Do you think I'll let you go on with this? Do
you? I'll take this sickness out of you even if it kills you!' And indeed,
Lucius had almost killed him with his incessant sessions of psychological
torture, potions and spells to take the so-called sickness out of him. All of
Lucius' magic tricks were in vain. Draco had remained the same. Too bad Draco
had been an only child, because Lucius hadn't given up on him. He had still
tried to push Draco to his limit. He had tried to make Draco a Death Eater.
Lucius had driven him mad. Until one day, when Draco had had enough, and he
realised that he wasn't the sick one. His father – the one he had always been
so proud of – was sick. His whole belief system was sick.

Draco had then joined the Order in secret. He had betrayed his father and
abandoned the only life he had ever known. But all of those sacrifices hadn't
meant anything to the wizarding world. With Dumbledore's death, there had been
no one left to stand up for him. Dumbledore had been the only one who believed
in Draco. The old man had given him a second chance in life. But with Dumbledore
dead, Draco had been left alone to face the consequences of his actions. He had
been condemned by society for betraying his own parents - never mind that they
had been Voldemort's servants. And at the same time, he had been treated with
disdain because of his surname.

The Malfoy name, once so respected, had been put to shame.

It had been the Weasleys and Hermione who had helped him find his honour again
and put himself together. For that, Draco would be eternally grateful.

He frowned as the memories invaded him. He thought he had gotten over his past,
but one morning with Harry had proven him wrong. Harry had hurt his feelings.
For a moment that day, Harry had reminded him of Lucius. Draco had felt so
terrified, so helpless. He could bear the thought of Harry hating him for being
Malfoy, his nemesis. But he couldn't handle Harry hating him for being gay.

Harry's acceptance shouldn't be so important to him, but it was.

At least Harry had been honest. Such honesty, as brutal as it might have been,
had taken him by surprise. And even if Harry's next words hadn't brought him any
consolation, they hadn't discouraged him either.

There was still a flame in Harry's eyes. All the pain Harry had suffered
obscured it, but it was there. Draco wanted to be the one bring back the flame.
He wanted to see those beautiful green eyes sparkling with the same joy as
before.

Harry hated Draco but wanted him to stay. Did that mean anything? Draco
shouldn't get his hopes up too high. It would just make the fall more painful.

It had surprised him even more that Harry was concerned with their life and
death bond, a bond that Draco had never given much thought about. Now he
wondered why. He knew those bonds were strong between wizards, but he didn't
know much about them. Could it be that the bond was the reason why he felt so
attracted to Harry? He made a face. The bond had nothing to do with it. Draco
had had a crush on Harry before the bond.

"Hermione?"

Hermione raised her head away from the report she was writing and arched her
eyebrow, slightly annoyed for being interrupted. "What?"

"What do you know about wizards' bonds?"

The subject seemed to interest her because she dropped her quill. "What kind of
bond are we talking about?"

"How many bonds are there?"

She made a disbelieving face. "Are you kidding me? There are tons of bonds
between wizards. There are bonds of friendship, bonds of marriage, bonds of
love, bonds of power, bonds of life and death… You can even bond yourself to
your house, but no one does that anymore."

"You actually have a bond for marriage and another for love?"

"Well, in the past most marriages weren't for love. They were arrangements
between families. I thought you knew that. I mean, the Malfoys had always
married through familial arrangements, hadn't they?"

"And how do you know that?"

"I read it in A Legacy – The Old and New Generation of Witches and Wizards. It
dedicates a whole chapter to your family."

"Really? I don't remember that book…"

"That's probably because the author doesn't seem to like your family… The
chapter is anything but flattering."

Draco shrugged. "I'm not surprised… But enough about my family. What else do
you know about bonds?"

Hermione laced her fingers together and rested her head on the chair. "Bonds
were very common in the past, but because they were dangerous, people stopped
using them."

Draco jolted in his chair. "Why are they dangerous?"

"Well, because a careless bond can lead the parties involved into madness."

Draco's heart almost stopped. "All bonds are dangerous?"

"Not all of them... But most are."

"Even the life and death bond?"

"It depends. The life and death bond can be very complicated, but only if you
cast it upon yourself and a second person. You see, some bonds come naturally.
You don't need a spell to have a bond. In fact, the dangerous bonds are the ones
created by spells and potions. Natural bonds aren't so dangerous, but they are
very rare and therefore hard to find in books."

"What about life and death bonds that happen naturally?"

"I'm not very sure…" she looked thoughtful. "Normally, natural bonds don't
lead to insanity, because they weren't created by spells. They just happen. They
are strong, but you can live the rest of your life apart from the person you are
connected to without any problems. Unless, of course, one of the people involved
is obsessed with the other. Then it can be a problem."

"By obsession you mean love or… hate."

"Yeah, you could say that." She stared at him curiously. "Why are you asking me
this? Did something happen between you and Harry?"

"No," he replied defensively.

"You look weird today. Something happened. You just don't want to talk to me.
Was he rude to you?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "He's always rude to me. And the worst part is that I
can't blame him."

"Well, you reap what you sow."

"Oh, that is so bloody profound!" Draco sneered.

She made a face. "Just tell me what's wrong. Why are you suddenly so interested
in wizards' bonds?"

He took a deep breath and decided to tell her. "I saved Harry's life once. We
were still in the Order. We were on a mission and he was careless. I got him out
of the way of an Unforgivable Curse. Now he says we are bound together because
of this, and he seems very concerned about it."

She almost fell off her chair. "Really? Why don't I know about any of this?"

"I don't think anyone knows. As much as I felt like bragging about it, I didn't
tell anyone. I guess Harry didn't tell anyone either… He really seems worried
about the whole thing. I can't understand why. I won't ask for his life," he
sneered.

She bit her lower lip. "But you could, if you wanted to. That's probably why
Harry is so concerned. After all, he doesn't trust you. It must be hard to owe
your life to an enemy."

"Thanks for the kind words," Draco sniggered.

She sighed. "I'm sorry, Draco… But if it's of any consolation, I do believe
Harry doesn't hate you the way he thinks he does."

"I don't feel any better."

"Too bad…"

"So he owes me his life and I have a right to claim it. That's a very dangerous
bond…" And very interesting too, he thought. There he was, joking about
wanting Harry's soul in return for his favour, and he could actually have
Harry's soul. Without having to ask for anyone's permission. He smiled.

"I told you most bonds are dangerous. But Draco, you won't do anything to him,
will you? He's so fragile right now and…"

He shook his head and smiled at her concerned expression. "Hermione, dear, you
were the one who sent me to help him. Now you are worried?"

"I didn't know you two shared such a strong bond!"

"And what does that mean? Do you want me to give up on him and forget the whole
thing?"

"No. I just want you to take it easy on him."

"You should have thought of that before… With or without a bond, I can hurt
him."

The smile she shot in his direction told Draco exactly what she was thinking.

"But you won't hurt him. You aren't the same spoiled-brat that I slapped once."

Draco smiled at the memory and he stroked his face softly. "I still remember it.
That was quite a slap! I can still feel it," he mocked. "I should have sued you
when I had the chance."

She smiled back, but then her face got very serious. "We could try to break the
bond. There isn't any evidence that natural bonds can make you insane, but…
One can never be too sure. I mean, look at Snape."

"What's wrong with him?" Draco frowned.

"What isn't?" Hermione bit her lower lip and then began to explain, "Harry's
father saved Snape's life once. Because of that, Snape was bonded to him. The
bond remained even after James' death. You probably don't know this, but Snape
hated Harry's father to a point that he became obsessed with it. His hate led
him to madness. Snape hated Harry because of it, and in his tormented mind he
couldn't separate Harry from James. That was why he picked on Harry so much.
That's also why he kept protecting Harry. It's a contradiction, I know. Because
while he hated Harry, he was bonded to him."

"Snape was bonded to James Potter, not Harry!"

"Well, yes. But like I said, his hate was making him mad. He thought that by
helping Harry he would get rid of his bond with James. I don't know if it
worked. I never saw Snape again after our Graduation…"

"So this is why Potter is so concerned. He's afraid he'll end up like Snape."

"I don't know. Maybe… I'll see what I can find out about the subject."

He watched her pick up the quill again and get back to work, but Draco sensed
her concern. He knew her mind was searching for more information about wizards'
bonds.

"Look, Hermione, you know I would never do anything to hurt him, right? I mean,
Harry and I will never stop getting on each other's nerves, but there's a limit
even to that."

She sighed and rested the quill on the table again. "I know. But… perhaps if I
had known sooner about this bond, I wouldn't have asked for your help. It isn't
that I don't trust you. You're my partner. I know you've changed a lot. But I'm
afraid that this bond might hurt both of you with or without your consent."

"So maybe I should leave him alone after all…"

"No! You keep bugging him, but try not to exaggerate. Because of you he already
spoke to Ron and me on his free will. He was the one who came looking for us. So
I'm very pleased so far. Just… watch out."

Draco nodded, his eyes lost in the fake landscape of the also fake window. Watch
out? She was joking. Right?



                                Kapitel 10: 10.
                                ---------------


10.
“Honey, I’m home!” Draco exclaimed as he made his way into Harry’s
house.

Mrs. Black shrieked from her painting about proper manners, but her voice soon
died away when Draco appeared in front of her. They silently challenged one
another, until she looked away first. Then he turned to the partially
illuminated living room. A sense of deja vu fell over him. He hoped Harry was
alone tonight. He didn’t want to go through the same experience as the night
before. He didn’t want to find Harry with another woman again.

He tiptoed towards the living room, until he realised how pathetic he looked.
Then he trotted over there, slamming the door open with fury, prepared to
witness the horrible scene of another woman coiling around Harry.

But there wasn’t a woman anywhere. There was only Harry, who quietly sat on
the floor with his back against the couch and a bottle of vodka in front of him.
He was poorly, but properly dressed in worn-out jeans, a white shirt and an old
dark blue jacket. Harry’s green eyes deviated from the bottle to Draco with a
frown.

“I know I told you that you could live here for a month, but I’m still the
owner of the house, so could you please be more polite and not trot in like you
just did?” Harry asked with phoney coolness.

Draco flushed slightly but he kept his head high. “I’ll keep that in
mind.”

Harry nodded and his eyes went back to the bottle near his foot. It was
Draco’s turn to frown. “What are you doing, Potter? How much did you drink
already?”

“Not that this is any of your business, but I haven’t drank anything so
far.”

“Then why the bottle? Planning to found an organization of bottle
admirers?”

“No. I’m just trying to prove to myself that I’m not an alcoholic like
everyone else thinks. I can control my needs. I’m not addicted to it.”

Draco smiled softly and walked to Harry’s side, sitting next to him. He
noticed Harry’s tension and wondered if it was because of him. “You do sound
like an alcoholic.”

Harry sneered. “And how would you know?”

Draco shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m a social drinker.”

“That’s what everyone says.”

Draco chuckled softly and he caught a glance of Harry’s stunned expression.

“What?” Draco asked curiously.

Harry shook his head and answered hastily, “Nothing.” What Draco didn’t
know was that Harry was amazed by the sound of his laugh. But Harry would never
tell him something like that.

They stayed quiet for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. Draco stared at
the burning fire and his face suddenly relaxed with the realization that Harry
hadn’t brought any strange women home that night. And as a bonus, Harry was
trying hard not to drink. He knew it wasn’t because of him alone, but Draco
was happy nonetheless.

“Did you eat?” Draco asked.

“No. Why? Are you going to cook something for me? I thought you said you
weren’t my maid,” Harry pointed out.

“I’m not going to cook, Potter. Not tonight. I’ll order something from
Disk-Enchanted Pizza Express.”

Harry looked at him as if he had gone mad. “Is there really such a place?”

“Yes!” Draco took out his cell phone under Harry’s astonished scrutiny and
pressed a few buttons before talking animatedly with a wizard named Roxanno, who
seemed very familiar with Draco. “Potter… Potter!”

Harry made an effort to quiet some strange emotion that was bugging his heart
and answered, “Yes?”

“What kind of pizza do you like?”

Harry told Draco his topping preferences and Draco was stunned to realise that
they had the same taste. While Draco kept talking on the phone with Roxanno, he
didn’t notice Harry’s glares of jealousy.

Harry was having a hard time trying to understand his feelings and hide them at
the same time. When Draco hung up the little phone, Harry’s mask of
indifference was back in place.

“Things have certainly changed,” said Harry. “I didn’t know wizards were
using telephones.”

“It’s faster this way. Don’t tell me, Potter…” Draco made a face.
“Were you ordering food the muggle way?” Harry blushed and Draco laughed.
“I can’t believe it! How pathetic!”

The door knocked before Harry could give Draco a proper reply. He was surprised
to see a young wizard wearing a red and purple cap and a yellow robe with the
saying ‘if you find anyone faster than me, I’ll be fired’. He handed two
large pizza boxes to Harry and said, “It’s thirty-five sickles, please.”

“Thirty-five? It was twenty last week!” Draco complained.

The young wizard shrugged. “Don’t blame me; blame the new Ministry for all
those new taxes.”

Draco groaned, taking out thirty sickles from his pocket. “I certainly will.
That bloody bastard we call Minister is nothing but a bureaucrat! Potter, give
the kid five sickles.”

Draco didn’t like the way Harry was looking at him. The green eyes looked
angry. “I have one galleon in my pocket, Malfoy. You get it. Can’t you see
my hands are full?”

Draco gulped. Was Harry trying to drive him insane? Did he really want Draco to
put his hands inside his trouser pocket? His heart pounded like crazy in his
chest.

“Which one?” Draco asked, trying to sound composed.

“The left.”

Draco stood behind Harry to make his job easier, but that position turned out to
be quite discomforting for a certain part of his lower body. His chest touched
Harry’s back slightly and his cheek was so close to Harry’s that he could
kiss it with just a simple turn. His breath accelerated and he could hear his
heartbeat thumping in his ears. He touched Harry’s waistband, then his fingers
slowly entered Harry’s left pocket. But they didn’t go too far. The moment
Draco’s fingers brushed Harry’s pocket, Harry reacted violently by pulling
away from Draco and almost dropping the pizzas. The one who saved them was the
young delivery boy, who made the pizzas float with a flick of his wand.

Harry stared at Draco murderously. The boy was staring at them both with
amusement. Draco was utterly confused.

“What the hell did you think you were doing?” Harry asked aggressively.

“I was trying to get the galleon from your pocket!” Draco exclaimed
defensively. “You were the one who told me to take it!”

“Yes, but in my jacket pocket!”

“And how the hell should I know? I keep my money in my trousers. How do I know
you keep yours in your damn jacket? You should be more specific!”

“You should have known! I would never ask you to put your hand inside my
trousers pocket! Jesus!”

“Why not? Scared, Potter?” Draco said with a snigger.

“Not even in your dreams, Malfoy,” Harry replied with a sneer.

Harry’s fierce look was burning Draco from the inside out. Draco just wanted
to shove him against the wall and pound him senselessly.

“Erm… Sirs?” the young boy called hesitantly. “I have to go or I’ll be
fired.”

Draco and Harry looked at him with surprise, as if they had just then noticed
the boy standing at the doorway. Harry flushed. He shoved his hand inside his
jacket pocket and gave the boy a galleon, telling him to keep the change. The
boy seemed very relieved to leave. Harry slammed the door and turned to Draco
with accusing eyes.

“You touch me again and you’re dead!” he threatened.

Draco scowled. “Like I would want to touch a bony creature like you! Don’t
worry, Potter. I wouldn’t lay my hands on you even if you were the last person
on earth!”

“Well… Good!”

“Great!” Draco took off the spell off the pizzas and took them to the
kitchen without saying another word.

He was fuming. He wanted to kick Harry’s ass, knock him to the ground and then
kiss him fiercely. He frowned and opened the pizza box. He didn’t want to kiss
Harry. His lips probably tasted bad anyway. He had such a dirty mouth. He was
always swearing and being impolite. Draco wouldn’t touch him ever again. He
would make that his new mantra: thou shalt not touch Potter. He bit into a slice
of pizza angrily. Harry joined him a few seconds later.

They ate in silence, avoiding each other’s eyes. Draco couldn’t believe how
stupid he was for fantasising about Harry knowing that Harry would never be
interested in him.

Harry was sulking over the pizza incident and the fact that he had to endure
Draco’s presence in his house on account of his own stupidity. After all, he
was the one who had asked Draco to stay. He felt his cheeks getting hot as he
thought about Draco’s chest touching his back, the soft breath caressing his
cheeks and those long fingers penetrating his trouser pocket. He almost choked.
‘Get a grip, Harry! What do you think you’re doing? Think about Cindy and
Mindy, those delicious twins Seamus set you up with for the weekend.’

But it wasn’t Cindy and Mindy who invaded Harry’s mind when he went to bed.



                                Kapitel 11: 11.
                                ---------------


11.
There was a baby crying. Dream Harry tried to muffle the sound by covering his
ears, but it was of no use. This time a man’s shout joined the crying.
Harry’s heart almost came out of his mouth. It was the first time he had heard
his father in his nightmares. He watched Voldemort exploding his bedroom door
and then murdering his mother. Harry bit his lower lip until he tasted blood,
his eyelids fluttering wildly in slumber. His breath quickened as he thrashed on
his bed. Meanwhile, in his dream, he watched his mother’s body falling
lifelessly to the ground. Her green eyes, now empty, seemed to be staring right
at him. His heart clenched.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” he whispered in tears. “Mum…”

And then something new happened. Voldemort looked right at him and smiled
evilly. Harry opened his eyes wide, and then his scar throbbed painfully.

“NO!” he screamed.

Harry’s body was trembling all over when Draco burst into his room. He heard
Draco calling his name, and Harry vaguely heard himself calling Draco’s.
Draco’s lips were moving as he leaned next to him, but Harry couldn’t hear a
word he was saying. Harry listened to an ‘oh, god’, and then he felt a wet
towel on his forehead. He sighed in relief. He felt a warm hand stroking his
face tenderly and whispering soothing words. Gradually, he stopped shaking and
the pain in his forehead ceased almost completely. The towel was taken away and
he opened his eyes.

Draco was still there, staring at him worriedly. “Are you ok?” Draco asked.

Harry nodded. His heart was still racing and he couldn’t understand why. It
was then that he noticed his hand clutching something as if his life depended on
it. He suddenly realised he was holding Draco’s hand. Harry let go
immediately, and as the world started making sense again, he sat up straight and
stared at Draco with distrust.

“What are you doing here?”

Draco frowned. “You were screaming, Potter. I don’t think I could have slept
with you crying for help.”

“I did not cry for help!” Harry exclaimed, outraged.

“Yes, you did,” Draco answered calmly, but Harry could feel he was holding
on by a thread. “You were screaming and crying. You had a hell of a nightmare.
Your scar was burning. I could see it throbbing.”

Harry traced his scar with his fingers. His scar hadn’t throbbed since he had
defeated Voldemort. In fact, his scar only throbbed when Voldemort was around.
He opened his eyes wide and ran to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the
mirror and took a closer look at his scar.

“Harry?” Draco asked worriedly.

Harry stared at Draco, trying not to panic. It was just a bad dream. Voldemort
was dead for real this time. He wouldn’t come back. But Voldemort had looked
straight at him in his dream, like he knew Harry was there all along. Harry
shook his head. It wasn’t possible. He had finished Voldemort off with
Dumbledore’s help. The dream didn’t mean anything.

“I need a drink,” he said with a throaty voice, walking with difficulty
towards the bedroom door. Draco caught him before he could go further.

“I don’t think so. Alcohol is not what you need, Harry,” Draco said
firmly.

“Don’t tell me what I fucking need! You have no idea!” Harry shouted,
pushing Draco away violently. He regretted his harsh actions the moment
Draco’s head slammed into the wall and he slid to the floor. “Draco!” He
knelt beside Draco with a worried expression. “I’m… I’m sorry. Are you
all right? Did I hurt you?”

Draco sneered as he stroked the back of his head. “Well, let me put it this
way. I’ll have a very bad headache tomorrow. And a fucking lump on the back of
my head.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry said sincerely. “This is why I like being alone.
I’m not good with people. I have a short temper, and a large tendency for
impulsive actions.” Harry seemed to be more surprised by what he had just said
than Draco. He bit his lower lip, calling himself stupid. There was something
about Draco that made Harry want to open up to him. But he couldn’t do that.
It was wrong to feel that way for an enemy.

“What are you talking about? Throwing me against the wall doesn’t make you a
bad person. This is less than I deserve actually. I bet you wanted to do worse
things to me when we were at Hogwarts.”

Harry made a face after composing himself. “Well, that’s true. But even so,
I don’t like to hurt anyone, even if that someone is you. Besides, we are not
at Hogwarts anymore.”

Draco frowned. “I thought you said you liked hurting me.”

“I never said that!” Harry protested.

“Are you sure you aren’t an alcoholic?” Harry grimaced as Draco went on,
“Because you do have a short memory, you know? You say things and then try to
dismiss them. You’re so weird, Potter. Come on, since I have your attention,
help me up.” Draco stretched out his hand and Harry caught it, pulling the
blond up. Draco stumbled dizzily and Harry caught him by his waist. For a few
seconds, they just stayed that way, locked in each other’s arms. Then Harry
let go of Draco and sat on his bed.

“Sit down, Malfoy.”

Draco raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

Harry wasn’t sure at all. He just shrugged and Draco sat beside him, leaving a
safe distance between them. Harry felt grateful for it. If Draco touched him
again, he didn’t know what his reaction would be. Harry was still shaken by
his nightmare. He couldn’t handle Draco’s compassion in that state. It would
be too much for him to take at once. First Harry would deal with the tension
caused by the nightmare and then he would deal with the tension caused by Draco.
Not that Draco caused him any tension. Harry frowned in confusion.

“Are you ok now? Do you want me to get you something?” Draco muttered.

“I want a drink,” Harry said.

“I feel your pain, Potter, but I can’t let you do that. Drinking is not the
answer. And yes, I do know what I’m talking about. I passed out all the time
when I was eighteen because of too much alcohol. It did lessen the pain for a
while, but it wasn’t worth the hangover afterwards.”

Harry stared at him surprised. “I didn’t know that.”

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

“That’s why you know that spell to cure hangovers…” Harry said
thoughtfully. A spell Draco hadn’t taught him like he said he would.

“Yeah.”

In that moment, Draco never looked so different from the spoiled brat he used to
be. Suddenly, he looked older and wiser. He seemed to have known and experienced
things that went beyond Harry’s imagination. Harry felt an urge to know all of
Draco’s secrets. The blond seemed to have had his share of pain and sorrow.
Harry didn’t know much about this new Draco. He only knew what Hermione had
told him.

According to her, Draco was a very good Auror, and he had become a good friend
too. They had their fights, but Hermione was positive that Draco respected and
admired her, just as she had learned to respect and admire him. He was arrogant,
yes. But Hermione didn’t think of that side of Draco as annoying anymore. She
thought it was cute.

And now that Harry had had a glimpse of the new Draco, he wanted to learn more
about him. 

“What?” Draco asked. Harry looked at him confused. Draco smiled and said,
“You’re staring at me. What is it?”

Harry looked the other way. He thanked the dim light of the candles for hiding
his reddened face. “Nothing. I’m just curious about you. You’ve never
liked me. Now you are helping me. I don’t understand why.”

“Well, people change. Besides, I’m doing this for Hermione.”

Harry felt a pang in his heart for no reason. “Aren’t you gay?”

Draco frowned. “So?”

“Well, why would you do something like this for her if you weren’t in love
with her?”

Draco made a face. “There’s something called friendship in this world.”

“Yeah, there is. But I never thought you had it in you,” Harry sneered.

Draco gave him a dark look, but then relaxed and smiled. “I didn’t think I
had it either.” They kept quiet for a long time until Draco broke the silence.
“Do you want to talk about your nightmare?”

“Don’t push it, Malfoy. It’s hard enough to have you in my room at this
time of the night,” Harry said. He felt Draco moving and he tensed. “If you
touch me…”

“Fuck you, Potter. We’ve been through this before. You’ll kill me and
blah, blah, blah… I’m just trying to be friendly, that’s all. I have some
pretty nasty dreams sometimes, so I know how you must be feeling. I guess you
drink yourself to sleep, right?” Harry nodded, stunned that Draco could be so
sensible. “I’ve been there before. And like I said, alcohol won’t change
anything. I have something else… It’s a pill. But I only take it when in
dire emergencies.”

“Trust me, this situation is bad. It’s always the same nightmare, except
that it’s becoming more sinister and… painful. I want it to stop, but I
don’t know how. I used to take the Oblivion potion, but Hermione made me swear
I wouldn’t take it anymore. That’s why I turn to alcohol. It’s the second
best thing. When I’m drunk I don’t feel a thing.”

“I know.” Draco sighed. “She doesn’t like me to take the Oblivion pills
either.”

Harry stared at him in astonishment. “Those are the pills you take?”

Draco bit his lower lip. “Yes.”

“And you are the one she sent here to help me?” Harry’s lips curved and
then opened widely until he was laughing his heart out. Soon, Draco joined him.
“We are so… screwed up,” Harry said smiling. He lay on his back,
refreshed. He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed like that, but
the ridiculous situation was too much for him. His eyes turned to Draco, who was
staring at him intensely. Harry’s laugh ceased and his mouth went dry.
Draco’s stare was making him feel very unsettled.

“Harry…” Draco whispered. Harry felt like melting. Draco had called him by
his first name, and not for the first time that night. It felt good. He had the
impression that Draco was coming closer. And he panicked.

He sat up straight before his mind could get fuzzy enough to make him do
something very stupid.

“Do you have the pill, Malfoy?” he asked, emphasizing Draco’s last name.

“Yes, Potter,” Draco answered, upset as he drew away from Harry. “I’ll
give it to you, but only this time. Hermione will have my head if she finds out
that I let you take this pill.”

“I won’t tell her.”

“I’m not worried about that.” Draco left Harry’s bedroom and came back a
few minutes later with a red and pink little pill in the shape of a dove. Harry
stretched his hand out eagerly, but Draco didn’t let him take it right away.
“Just this time, Potter.”

“Ok.”

“And then I’ll teach you something to make you relax without the help of
medication.”

Harry bit his lower lip impatiently. “Ok.” He snatched the pill from
Draco’s hand and swallowed it. It took only a few seconds for his body to
relax. He lay down on his back again and sighed. “This is fucking good.”

“Yeah, unfortunately, it is. And unfortunately for you, I’ll have to sleep
here.”

Harry’s eyes opened widely. “What are you talking about?”

“Some people react very badly to the pill.”

“Not me.”

“The pill isn’t the same as the potion.”

“And now you tell me? You’re such a bastard, son of a…” Harry wanted to
punch Draco, but the pill was making sleepy. “Malfoy, I’ll kick your ass
tomorrow…” he said dizzily.

--

Draco smiled mischievously. The truth was that the pill wasn’t dangerous at
all. Draco had lied about it. The pill was Professor Snape’s new discovery. It
was a sleeping pill made with natural ingredients and just a little magic. Of
course, it could lead to addiction, but only if taken in large quantities for a
long period of time. Draco wouldn’t let that happen, but for now it would do.

He watched Harry sleeping peacefully for a while until he made his way to the
bedroom next door. He lay down on his bed with his arms crossed behind his head
and stared at the ceiling. He was waiting for his heart to calm down.

Harry was such a bastard. Draco couldn’t understand him at all. One minute
Harry was nice to him, and the next he was being spiteful. Perhaps it was just
Draco’s imagination, but he could swear that Harry’s eyes had been pleading
for Draco’s kiss just a while ago. He saw the green eyes sparkling. There was
something in them, and it wasn’t hate.  

Or perhaps it was only Harry being deceitful. It was hard to believe, but maybe
Harry had purposely seduced Draco just to get the pill.

“What a bastard!” Draco said with a frown.

Draco curled to his left and hugged one of his fluffy pillows. He felt as if he
was in a battle, and Harry was winning. He missed Bill and the warmth of his
arms. Bill was safe. Draco knew Bill very well. He couldn’t say the same about
Harry. Harry was wild and unpredictable. Harry made his head spin. Even worse,
Harry made him lose control. Draco hated to lose control of things.

‘Think about Bill…’ Yes, he would think about Bill. He would get over
Harry. He was sure of it.

He imagined Bill touching him from behind and the strong hands making his way
into his pyjama pants. Draco moaned. He pictured Bill on top of him, teasing him
with small bites.

Draco felt his body catching on fire, asking for satisfaction. And then it
happened. Like always, Bill’s image faded until Harry Potter invaded his
fantasy. Draco whimpered. He closed his eyes to make Harry’s image go away,
but the opposite happened. Harry’s image became even clearer in his mind. He
kissed Draco softly, and then made love to him.

‘Draco…,’ whispered Harry. ‘Ah… ah… Draco… Are you close? I’m so
close, baby… It feels so good to be with you…’

‘Shut up, shut up, shut up…,’ Draco repeated in his thoughts. ‘Ah…
Harry…’ And he found release.



                                Kapitel 12: 12.
                                ---------------


12.
Draco put some scrambled eggs and a cup of orange juice in front of Harry, but
Harry just shook his head and put them aside. Draco frowned. Harry had been
doing that all morning. No matter what Draco’s question was, Harry’s answer
was always no. Harry didn’t want to jog with him. He didn’t want to eat
Draco’s delicious breakfast. He didn’t want to look Draco in the eye. And
all of those childish acts were because Draco had told him the truth about last
night.

He couldn’t understand Harry. Draco was the only one entitled to be upset.
After all, it was Draco who had fantasised about Harry when he had promised
himself not to do that anymore. But it was Harry who was sulking about what
Draco called the pill incident with sarcasm. There wasn’t an incident. This
was only Harry overreacting.

Harry was accusing him of being a bastard. Draco sniggered. Like he didn’t
know that already… Why did he have to tell Harry that the pill wasn’t the
Oblivion pill, but a pill created by Snape?

“Would you stop acting like a child?” Draco said, sitting in front of
Harry.

“No,” answered Harry dully, staring at his eggs.

Draco scowled. What a lousy way to begin a new day. “Do you want to go fuck
yourself then?” he asked coldly.

“N…” Harry looked up to glare at him and Draco could tell exactly what was
going through Harry’s mind. ‘You go fuck yourself, Malfoy. After all, you
are the fag here.’ But Harry knew better, of course. If he attacked Draco’s
sexuality, he would have to run around the block naked. “You go fuck yourself,
Malfoy,” was Harry’s only reply.

Draco buried his fingers in his hair. “You are a pain, Potter. Honestly,
I’ve never met anyone as fucking annoying as you! And trust me when I say that
I know a lot of annoying people!”

Harry just shrugged.

“Ok! I’m sorry! Is that what you want to hear? I’m sorry that I lied to
you about the pill. I’m sorry that I lied to you about sleeping in the same
bed with you. You should be glad that I didn’t! You should be glad it was all
a joke! I mean, why are you sulking about it? We didn’t sleep together!”
Draco snapped.

“That’s the point! It was all a joke!”

Draco smirked, “And you wanted it to be real?”

“Don’t be ridiculous! I’m not talking about that!” said Harry,
outraged.

Then what was he talking about? Draco was getting really confused. Harry should
be relieved that Draco had only joked about sleeping with him, not angry.

“You made fun of me!” Harry exclaimed.

“So?”

“So? I didn’t like it!”

Draco bit his lower lip, suppressing a smile. “Merlin! You are so weird. You
do realise that my job is to get under your skin, right? I’m not here to be
nice to you. I’m here to bug you.”

“Then why are you making me breakfast?”

Good point. Draco licked his lips and sighed. “I dunno. But really, Potter,
you bug me all the time. You don’t see me sulking about it.”

“You’re so full of bullshit, Malfoy. You sulk. And I like it when you sulk.
But that’s not the point. You touched a nerve last night. You made me trust
you! You told me such a touching story about how you had gone through the same
thing as I did, and it was all a lie! You made me – bloody – trust –
you!”

Oh, so that was the real problem. “Listen, Potter…”

“I don’t want to hear any more lies. I’  m sick of you…”

“I lied to you about the pill,” Draco said, cutting across him. “And I was
joking when I said I had to sleep with you. Those were minor things. You should
be glad that the pill isn’t as dangerous and as addictive as the Oblivion
pill. But I wasn’t lying about anything else. I did have a shitty life. I have
some pretty bad nightmares sometimes. I did take the Oblivion pill and the
potion. All at once… That mix made me spend a day in St. Mungo’s. And it was
because of that Professor Snape came up with another pill for me.”

Draco smiled feebly at Harry’s stunned expression. “Like I said,” he kept
on, “I lived some shitty days. It was painful to wake up every day. I
couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror… But eventually, I got over
everything.” And he would damn Harry for bringing back those horrible
memories.

“How did you do it?” Harry asked quietly.

Draco stared at him, confused. “How did I do what?”

“How did you leave it all behind you? How did you get over it? How do you wake
up every day and not feel like your life is meaningless? How did you become an
Auror? You, of all people… How did you do it and I didn’t?” Harry closed
his eyes, but it was too late to hide his emotions. Draco had seen them all in
his beautiful green eyes. He had seen Harry’s pain. He had felt it. He wanted
to hug Harry, to tell him that even though some scars would never heal, they
would at least fade.

And then Draco realised how stupid he had been for joking about something so
serious. He had fucked up royally last night and he hadn’t even noticed. He
had gained Harry’s trust only to lose it. He felt like bashing his head on the
wall over and over.

“Harry…” Harry looked at him grim-faced. Draco could tell he hadn’t
liked to be called by his first name. “Potter… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for
being such an idiot.”

Now Harry seemed to be really thunderstruck. “It took you long enough to
figure that out, Malfoy.”

Draco clenched his fists. He couldn’t blame Harry for being so upset with him.
Harry’s honesty always seemed to knock him off balance. He didn’t know what
to do or say to make things right. It was obvious that Harry hated him now even
more than before, because Draco had gotten over his problems and Harry hadn’t.
It would be funny if it weren’t so tragic. After all, four years ago Draco had
been in Harry’s shoes. He had been so jealous of Harry and he had handled
things by picking on Harry mercilessly. He had thought Harry knew what he was
doing. He had thought of Harry as perfect, flawless.

But now it was Harry who was jealous of him. And this vulnerable Harry wasn’t
afraid of telling him about it. Draco was stunned. And to make things worse,
Harry’s vulnerability was making its way into his heart. Draco was falling
deeply in love with this new side of Harry Potter. He had believed Harry to be
strong and confident. He wasn’t prepared for the cute and exposed Harry
Potter.

“I’m being an idiot… I shouldn’t have asked those stupid things,”
muttered Harry with a scowl. “It won’t happen again.”

And there it was again, the stupid Harry back in action. Draco frowned. “What
do you mean? It’s ok to open up your heart every now and then. You seem like
you need a shoulder to cry on anyway.”

“I don’t need your shoulder,” Harry groaned. “Just forget about it, all
right?”

“Oh, just get over it, Potter. I won’t use your vulnerability against you.
I’m not the same bastard that I used to be. I really understand what you’re
going through. You asked me how I got over everything… I don’t really have
an answer… Well, come to think of it, friendship was very important. Snape
helped me a lot. Hermione and the Weasleys helped me too.”

Draco stared into space and his voice seemed distant when he said, “It’s
funny that I only realise that now… All of my life I searched for a purpose to
exist… And at first I thought that my purpose was to keep my lineage going
just as my father used to tell me over and over. But what I was looking for
wasn’t prestige or another stupid little brat to continue with our stupid
traditions… I wanted love. Even if I didn’t believe in it, I still wanted
it. And I thought you had it. That was the reason I didn’t like you.” He
came back to earth and stared into Harry’s bewildered eyes. He felt his cheeks
getting hot. He had said too much about himself. But it was only fair that he
open his heart to Harry. After all, he had broken Harry’s trust in him. He had
to earn it back.

There was an awkward period of silence between them.

“I also hated you because even though I’m gorgeous, people always worshiped
you… But that’s another subject,” Draco sneered to break the ice. 

Harry made a face. “You’re so conceited.”

“I know that. So, are we even? I just told you a very personal thing about
myself. The least you can do is forgive me.”

Harry pressed his lips together. Draco had the impression that he wanted to
smile, but he couldn’t be sure.

“I’ll think about it,” Harry said. He then picked up his fork and began to
eat his eggs quietly.

“I wish I had the answers to your questions, Harry,” Draco whispered. “But
it’s really hard for me to remember how things used to be when I left home
and…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Harry said, cutting across him without looking up.
“There are no answers. And if there are, I need to find them myself. Nothing
you say will make any difference. I…” he took a deep breath before going on,
“I don’t even know why I asked you those things. Just forget about it,
ok?”

“But you resent me because of those things…”

“No. I resented you ever since I first met you, Malfoy. So let’s just eat. I
hate to get too philosophical this early in the morning. I forgive you for being
a jerk last night. Let’s leave it at that for now.” Harry continued to eat
and for the first time Draco decided to comply with him.

They ate quietly, each lost in their own thoughts. Draco was happy when
Harry’s plate was empty. He considered it a small victory. With a flick of his
wand, the dishes flew to the sink to be washed.

He looked at Harry one last time and thought about saying something, but decided
to keep quiet. He put his cloak on, took his briefcase and headed for the front
door. He was about to leave when he suddenly turned to Harry and said, “Come
with me to work.”

Harry opened his eyes wide as if Draco had gone mental. “What? Why?”

Draco didn’t know. He just wanted to spend the day with Harry. “What are you
going to do all day?”

Harry shrugged. “I dunno. It’s none of your business anyway.”

“If you’re not doing anything, then come with me.”

“Even if I did go with you, what would I do, Malfoy? Besides, your boss
wouldn’t be very pleased. I’m not an Auror. I have no business there.”

“My boss won’t say a word. He’s tried to get you on our team for years,
Potter, and you know that. He will be ecstatic about your visit. You can
accompany Hermione and me on our boring missions. Then you will know for sure
that you were right about quitting the Auror’s training. And you will make fun
of me for working like a bloody bureaucrat. Come on. It’ll be fun!” Draco
had no idea what he was getting himself into. He was just desperate to get Harry
out of that depressing house.

After much protesting, Harry went along with him. Draco was thrilled with his
company. He didn’t even make fun of Harry’s poor choice of clothes. He just
couldn’t stop smiling as he and Harry walked across the Atrium at the
Ministry. He disregarded the fact that Harry looked like he was about to panic
as they stopped onto Level Two. He was picturing Hermione’s face when she saw
Harry with him.

“Malfoy… I don’t think I can do this,” Harry said nervously.

Draco frowned. “You’re already here. Besides, you came here just the other
day. What’s the matter?”

Harry seemed very pale. Draco started to worry. He stood very close to Harry to
catch him in case he passed out, but Harry pushed him away.

“Don’t stand so close,” Harry complained.

“You look like you’re about to faint.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!”

Draco scowled. “You started it!”

“I did not! I just realised that this is a very bad idea.”

Draco noticed that the small corridor looked suddenly crowded. The lifts were
stopping on Level Two more than usual. People kept coming in, and all of their
eyes were on Harry. Someone had let out that Harry Potter was there with Draco
Malfoy. It was a one-time event that no one wanted to miss. Draco clenched his
fists, irritated. He looked at Harry, who seemed ready to explode, and grabbed
his hand. Harry tried to let go of him, and Draco could almost hear Harry’s
thoughts out loud about not touching him. But Draco’s grip became stronger and
he only let go of Harry’s hand when they reached his office.

“Oh, my God! I can’t believe this!” Hermione shouted, flabbergasted. “Is
it really you, Harry?” Harry grunted something impolite. Hermione pretended
not to hear him. “Yes, it’s definitely you! Draco, how did you do it?”

Draco opened his mouth to speak but Harry cut across him with a cold, “Drop
it, Hermione, or I’ll leave immediately.”

She made a face and then threw her arms around Harry in a tight hug. Harry
tensed for a moment, but then relaxed and smiled.

“It’s a miracle!” she said.

“You’re exaggerating…” Harry muttered.

“What are you doing here, Harry?”

“He came to experience some Auror action,” Draco smirked.

“Shut up, Malfoy. I just came to see you in action, Hermione. Malfoy said that
I could. I didn’t really think it was appropriate, but he practically dragged
me here…”

“Oh, but you’re most welcome. Boss will be so glad you’re here!”
Hermione still had her arms around Harry. Draco started to get annoyed.

Boss Harper, a very tall man with a big moustache and a weird taste for pink and
green robes with blue little stars, welcomed Harry with open arms, literally.
His hug almost crushed Harry’s bones. Throughout the day, Boss introduced
Harry to most of the people in the department, showed Harry all of their secret
archives and let Harry join Draco and Hermione in a real – boring – mission.
Boss had been Harry’s most enthusiastic professor once, and he had actually
cried when Harry had quit training.

While everyone sucked up to Harry, and most girls kept coming on to him, Draco
stayed in a corner just watching the uproar around Harry and sulking about it.
He was jealous. Suddenly, it didn’t seem like a good idea to have brought
Harry here. Never mind that Harry seemed to be having a good time. Draco hated
the fact that Harry was letting those annoying girls touch him so freely. And if
Boss hugged Harry one more time he would scream.

“Draco,” he heard Hermione calling him. “I don’t know how you did it,
but thanks.”

Draco frowned. “I didn’t do anything. To be honest, I don’t know why he
came with me.”

“Well, whatever the reason was, it worked.” She smiled. “It was a good
idea sending you there. It’s been three days and you’ve already achieved so
much! He’s actually being polite and talkative!”

Draco wasn’t so sure about that. Harry was polite but not talkative. Sometimes
Draco had the impression that Harry was bored out of his mind. He was happy that
Harry was being more sociable though. He was just curious about Harry’s
reasons for coming along with Draco. When Draco had made the offer, he didn’t
expect Harry to accept it. He had asked him out of desperation, because
Harry’s vulnerability had touched his heart and he didn’t want to leave
Harry alone in that creepy house.

On the other side of the room, Harry pretended to listen to a boring story about
two wizards robbing a London bank while he discreetly watched Draco. The blond
seemed to be sulking about something. Harry could tell by the way Draco kept
licking his lips and tapping his quill on the table. Harry smiled involuntarily.
His smile made two witches next to him sigh in adoration. Draco noticed that,
and he sulked even more, which led to another smile from Harry and more sighs of
appreciation from the girls. In the end, Draco stood up and left the room for
his own office, slamming the door violently and making the department go silent
for a moment.

“What’s wrong with our dragon?” asked Boss thoughtfully. “He doesn’t
seem to like you, Harry.”

Harry sneered. “What gave you that impression?”

Boss stared at him maliciously. “We all know Draco’s preferences, Harry. I
didn’t know you were Draco’s next catch.”

Harry gasped. “What? I’m not his catch!”

“Then why are you with him?”

Harry grimaced. “Ask Hermione.”

Hermione smiled. “A girl is entitled to a few secrets…”

Boss laughed. “Oh, you naughty girl!”

Harry didn’t like the implications of those comments. “I’m nothing to
Malfoy.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure, Harry. I see the way he looks at you,” said
Boss wisely. “Besides, you came in with him. You can’t deny that.”

No, Harry couldn’t deny that. He called himself stupid for not thinking about
that before. He didn’t want people to think that he was Malfoy’s boyfriend.
Why did he come to the Ministry in the first place? He didn’t know for sure.
The only thing he knew was that Draco’s emotional speech had moved him
somehow. Once again Draco had made Harry want to get to know him better. Harry
wanted to know who was behind the mask of Draco Malfoy, the brat.

Draco was a mystery to him. Harry had watched him all day and had come to the
conclusion that if things were different, he would like to be his friend. Draco
was fun to be around and even though he complained a lot, he did his job well.

Some people seemed to treat Draco with suspicion – given his past, it wasn’t
so surprising – but a lot of people seemed to trust and respect him. And Harry
was fascinated by the way Draco seemed to handle things.

Draco wasn’t joking when he told Harry that he was second best in the
department. He was very good. Harry felt even more jealous of him.

But there were times when Harry would notice some sadness in Draco’s eyes.
This usually happened when Lucius and Narcissa were mentioned. Draco’s
colleagues liked to make bad jokes about Lucius all the time. Draco always
smiled at them, but those smiles never reached his eyes.

Harry was surprised to feel sympathy for him. He was even more surprised with
the sudden need to go to Draco and… And what? His heart started to beat
faster. It had been only three days and Draco had already messed with his
emotions. What did he want from Draco? Why did Draco have such a power over him?
Did he really want to know?

No, he didn’t. He didn’t want to get too deep into those questions. For now,
it was enough to get on Draco’s nerves.



                                Kapitel 13: 13.
                                ---------------


13.
It felt good to leave the house for a few hours. Harry had thought he would
panic once people started to approach him, but he hadn’t. He had tolerated
most of the annoying questions about his last battle with Voldemort, and he had
been engaged in interesting conversation as well. He kept wondering what life
would have been like if he hadn’t given up on his training, and he felt even
more envious of Draco for taking his vacancy. But Harry knew he was being
unfair, and actually should thank Draco for bringing him along to the Ministry.

It felt good to come home too. After all, as gloomy as it was, it was his
refuge. It was strange, but he actually had good memories of the house. There he
had spent time with Sirius, and had gotten to know his godfather a little
better. They would have lived there together if it hadn’t been for Sirius’
tragic fate. That house had belonged to Sirius, and his godfather had passed it
on to him. Harry would treasure it forever.

Mrs. Black remained quiet as she stared at him. She had been like that since
Draco had arrived. She just watched them with her reproachful eyes and kept her
thoughts to herself. Harry had been so used to her screams that it felt strange
not to hear them anymore.

Then his eyes shifted to Draco, who was tossing his briefcase carelessly on the
ground and hanging his cloak on the hook near the front door. Draco hadn’t
said a word to him since they had left the Ministry. The blond seemed to be lost
somewhere else. From time to time, Draco would grimace as if something bad had
occurred to him. Then he would stare into space for a long time, forgetting
completely about Harry’s presence.

Being ignored by Draco was something totally new for Harry. And it was something
that he definitely didn’t like. He was shocked to realise that he liked having
Draco’s full attention.

“Malfoy? What’s the matter?” he asked, biting his tongue for caring about
it.

Draco lifted his head and frowned. “Nothing.”

Harry crossed his arms. He felt Mrs. Black’s curious eyes on them. “What are
you sulking about?” Harry attacked angrily. “It was your idea to take me
there. If you can’t handle a little competition…”

Draco made a funny noise. “What? What are you talking about?”

Harry cocked his head. “Well, from what I saw today, you usually get all the
attention. But I snatched it from you. I mean, the girls were all over me.”

“That is ridiculous! Only the stupid girls were all over you anyway. Besides,
I don’t really care about girls, Potter. You know that. And I’m not jealous
of you just because everyone kept treating you like you were a king.”

“So you are jealous!” Harry pointed out.

Draco opened his mouth then closed it. He seemed to be fuming. “I didn’t
mean it that way.”

“Then what the hell is your problem?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Draco turned his back on Harry
and headed for the kitchen.

Before Harry could follow him, he heard Mrs. Black saying with a smirk. “I
know his kind. What a disgrace to this house and his ancestors…”

Harry turned to glare at her. “Shut up, old hag.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I thought you didn’t like him. Now I’m seeing
something different about you two.”

Harry almost choked at her words. “I don’t know what you’re talking
about.” And he realised he was acting just like Draco. He grimaced. “What do
you mean by his kind?”

“He’s a homosexual, isn’t he? An abomination… I can recognise the
horrible disease in him. My son had it.” Mrs. Black sighed. “I pity poor
Narcissa… I know how painful it is to have a son that is so abominable. We
tried to make him right, but…”

Harry opened his eyes wide and his heart almost stopped beating. That was
something he would never expect to hear. He cut across her, “Are you talking
about… Sirius?”

“I’m talking about Regulus, that good for nothing,” she snorted. “I only
met misfortune in my life… Regulus was my pride and joy and suddenly… he was
useless… I had two sons and they both brought me nothing but shame. A sissy
and a rebel… But at least Sirius was more of a man than Regulus.”

Harry felt relieved, but almost immediately felt ashamed of his feelings. Would
it matter so much if Sirius were gay? No, it wouldn’t make a difference. Harry
would have loved him the same way. He heard a grunt behind him. He turned his
head to the side and saw Draco standing a few feet away. He felt like a kid
getting caught with his hands in the cookie jar just before dinner. Draco looked
upset and hurt. His pained expression broke Harry’s heart.

Harry gulped. “Malfoy…”

But Draco wasn’t looking at him. The blond was glaring at Mrs. Black, who
seemed to be terrified as her eyes met Draco’s.

“You are abominable,” Draco said with hatred. Draco turned around to climb
the stairs. “There’s nothing wrong with me!”

“Malfoy!” Harry went after him. “Wait. Why are you so upset about it?
She’s an old hag… Just put her in her place and get over it. She’s a
painting! You don’t have to listen to what she says…”

“I don’t care about her. She’s like my parents. Big deal!” Draco
shouted, and then he turned to face Harry. “It’s you I can’t handle right
now.”

“Me?” Harry wasn’t so surprised that Draco’s parents were like Mrs.
Black, but he suddenly started to realise how much Draco suffered in his
parents’ hands. But what did that have to do with Harry?

“Yes, you!” Draco’s fierce eyes met his. “I saw the look on your face
when you realised that your beloved godfather wasn’t the one she was talking
about. You were relieved.”

Harry looked away. Draco was right and he couldn’t deny it. Anything he said
to excuse himself would only make things worse. So instead of trying to
apologise, he asked why Draco cared so much. It was Draco who looked away this
time.

“I don’t,” Draco muttered bitterly.

“Bullshit. You look as if you’re about to cry.”

Draco sent him a cross look. “I do not! I don’t cry, Potter.”

Harry sniggered. “Nobody does, Malfoy.” Harry took a deep breath and then
said, “You should be angry at her, not me. I didn’t say anything. And
whatever look you saw on my face…”

“I know what I saw. I saw the same look on my mother’s face. Your expression
gave you away, Potter, and nothing you say will make it right. You say you have
gay friends and you accept them, but deep down you think it is wrong. Deep down
you and Mrs. Black are the same. She just happens to verbalise her true thoughts
about the matter whereas you keep them to yourself.”

“That’s not… entirely true. If she was talking about Sirius, it wouldn’t
matter to me,” he said honestly. “I told you already that I don’t care if
you like men, Malfoy. I was just… Dammit!” he ran his fingers through his
dishevelled hair. “I was surprised. I don’t really know anything about
Sirius’ love life. I never knew if he had a girlfriend or a fiancée or even
if he had a boyfriend! I assumed he liked girls… Why do you care about what I
think anyway?” Most importantly, why did Harry care about what Draco was
feeling?

Draco shrugged, but didn’t say anything. Harry climbed four steps and stopped
next to him. Draco seemed to wince, but Harry couldn’t be sure.

“I’m not a coward. Did I ever hide anything from you?” Draco made a face
and Harry amended, “Not personal stuff, Malfoy. Did I ever hide what I feel
for you?”

Draco pressed his lips together and shook his head.

“Maybe you’re right, you know? Deep down I have a problem with it. But I
don’t share the old hag’s point of view. I don’t think you’re abominable
or sick.” Harry smiled weakly. “Well, I do think you’re sick… but
that’s because you’re a Malfoy.”

“I think you’re just scared…” Harry frowned as he waited for Draco to
finish his line. “You don’t want to run around the block naked. That’s why
you don’t say what you think about me aloud.”

Harry saw Draco sneer but he knew that Draco was still hurt by what had just
happened. He damned Mrs. Black and her filthy mouth.

“What did your parents do to you when they found out about you?” Harry asked
softly. “They hurt you a lot, didn’t they?”

This time Harry saw Draco flinch. He got closer to Draco, not knowing exactly
what he was trying to do. He didn’t want to touch Draco, did he? He wasn’t
supposed to care. But he did. He knew Draco was reacting that way because
somebody had hurt him badly, and Harry was almost positive that Draco’s
parents were to blame.

“You didn’t tell me what you dreamed about last night. I don’t have to
tell you anything about me,” Draco muttered.

“What if I tell you something about me? I’ll tell you some embarrassing
moment of my past, something private, and you’ll tell me what happened to
you.”

Draco shook his head. “No. I don’t want to.” But Harry could see that
Draco was tempted by his offer.

“Just think about it. You can answer me later. Aren’t you here to help me?
Maybe we can help each other out.”

Harry could read every emotion in Draco’s face. He could sense Draco’s
turmoil, and it made him want to protect the blond. Draco looked so vulnerable.
He wanted to touch Draco. His right hand was trembling with anticipation. He
wanted to feel the soft skin of Draco’s face against his fingers. Draco’s
eyes flickered as he got closer. He was so close now. What was he doing? He
didn’t know. He just wanted to…

BAM, BAM, BAM!

Harry and Draco jumped at the sound. Harry looked at the front door with a
puzzled face. It had been a while since he had last heard the silver doorknocker
being used.

He stared at Draco, who seemed very annoyed by the interruption. Harry, on the
other hand, was grateful. He didn’t know exactly what he would have done if
they hadn’t been interrupted. Draco had a strange power to bewitch his senses
when they were together. Harry felt like doing things that he normally
wouldn’t.

Draco confused him with his new personality. He wasn’t like the old Draco. And
Harry had a hard time trying to decide if he could be friends with Draco or not.
He had had the same problem when Draco had joined the Order.

But this wasn’t the time to think about those things. In fact, Harry
shouldn’t think about them at all.

He took a deep breath and descended the stairs. Then he opened the door.

“Surprise!” said two female voices in unison.

Harry opened his eyes wide. His eyes scanned the girls in front of him. They
were identical except for their clothes. They were blond, short, had big breasts
and pink lips. One of them was wearing a very tight red blouse and blue jeans,
while the other was wearing a white mini-skirt, platform sandals, the top of a
pink bikini that barely covered her breasts and a pink jacket.  Their smiles
were indistinguishable, and Harry felt paralysed.

“Hi, Harry!” said the blond with the red blouse.

“We are here to party!” said the other one shaking her breasts.

Harry heard Draco snorting behind him, and the only thing he could say was,
“Mindy! Cindy! Hi…”



                                Kapitel 14: 14.
                                ---------------


14.
Draco couldn't believe his eyes. He felt like screaming as the two blond bimbos
entered the house and latched their arms around Harry, kissing him soundly on
the cheeks. He could feel his blood boiling, and he was sure his face was red
with anger. He wasn't a jealous man, but he was very possessive. After all, he
was a Malfoy. Malfoys didn't like strange people touching their property. Harry
was his. But instead of snatching Harry away from them, he clenched his fists
and tried to keep himself together.

'Harry isn't yours, Draco, so get a fucking grip!' he thought.

"Oh, Harry. What a lovely house!" said one of the blondes.

"Yeah. I told you so…" said the one with the pink jacket, walking into the
entrance hall as if she was on a stage. "Oh, the nasty Mrs. Black! Hi!!" Mrs.
Black snorted and turned her head the other way. "Hmm… She's never polite,
Harry. Now why is that?"

"Erm… I…" Harry seemed to be petrified.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Hey, Potter. Aren't you going to introduce us?"

Two identical faces stared at Draco immediately. Cindy and Mindy looked at each
other and then at Draco. He immediately enchanted them.

"Do we know you?" they asked together.

Draco sneered. "I don't think so." The twins walked towards him and stopped only
inches away. "I'm Draco Malfoy," said Draco using all of his charm on them. It
seemed to work. The girls melted as he kissed their hands. "And you, lovely
creatures, are…"

"Cindy," answered the one with the pink bikini.

"Mindy!" answered the one with the red blouse.

"Lovely names," Draco smirked.

"Oh, thank you!" they said. "You are so adorable! Harry, where were you hiding
him? He's quite a handsome man!" exclaimed Mindy.

Harry seemed to recover his voice as the girls threw themselves on Draco.
"Girls… What are you doing here?"

Cindy winked at Harry. "We were supposed to come tomorrow, I know. But we just
thought: 'hey, why not surprise him today?' So here we are! We didn't know you
had a guest. And what a guest!" Mindy smiled at Draco, surreptitiously fondling
him.

"He's gay," Harry said scowling. "And he's leaving. Right, Malfoy?"

Draco counted to ten so he wouldn't curse Harry with Cruciatus. Harry wanted him
out? How rude. He couldn't believe Harry's bad taste for women. He never thought
of Harry as the type of man who liked vulgar women. In fact, he would never
imagine that Harry treated women like objects. Harry had really changed. But
Draco couldn't blame him. After all, Harry had once fallen in love with Ginny,
the perfect girl-next-door type, and she had broken his heart. Typical, Draco
thought. Harry was wounded, and now he didn't want a commitment, just sex.

Draco frowned. Wasn't he the same as Harry? The only difference was that he went
for men. But at least the guys he dated were well educated and intelligent. They
weren't bimbos.

He didn't want to leave, but he could only imagine what he would have to put up
with if he stayed. He had barely tolerated one woman having sex with Harry, let
alone two! He wasn't that much of a masochist was he?

"Why can't he stay?" Cindy asked, looking at her red nails. "He can party with
us."

"Didn't you just hear what I said? He's gay. He doesn't like women that way,"
Harry said, annoyed. Draco sent him a cross look. The stupid Scar-Head had
nerves.

"So?" asked Mindy, confused.

Honestly, could a girl be more stupid? Draco smiled involuntarily. "Yeah,
Potter. So?"

"So?" Harry's face was slightly pink. Draco smiled even more. "Well, he can't
exactly… party… with us."

"Why not?" Mindy insisted.

Harry was taken aback by the question. Draco was definitely having fun now.

"Yeah, Harry. After all, he can party with you," Cindy said smiling.

"Yeah!" Mindy clapped her hands happily. "And we can watch!" The twins looked at
each other with malice. "Two hot boys together… It will be just like that time
in Germany!"

Harry looked absolutely horrified. Draco suppressed his laughter.

"I hope you girls practice safe sex," Draco pointed out.

Cindy looked at him as if he was retarded. "Duh! Of course, honey. In our
profession, we wouldn't do it any other way…"

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Are you…?"

"We are escorts!" Mindy explained. "But we only date very fine men. And we
aren't cheap, honey."

Draco bet they weren't, in terms of money. They looked cheap though.

"But for Harry we do it for free," Cindy said, stroking Harry's arm. "We always
have so much fun together!"

Harry never looked more embarrassed in his life. His face was now totally red.

"Are you witches?" Draco asked curiously.

"No…" Cindy said pouting. "We just date wizards. Our cousin is a wizard and
he's our agent."

"Who's your cousin?"

"Seam–"

"What does it matter who their cousin is?" Harry quickly cut in. "And girls,
please, Malfoy was just leaving, so…"

"I was not," Draco said to irritate Harry. "In fact, I feel like staying. I
wouldn't miss Mindy's and Cindy's company for anything in this world." Draco
smiled at them and they sighed in adoration. "They look like they know how to
have fun."

"Oh, honey, we really do," said the twins with mischief. "And Harry, if you
don't let him party with us, we won't party with you… We want to see a kiss!
Come on, Harry sweetie. Don't be shy!"

Draco had the impression that Harry would faint at any moment. Harry's face was
now completely white.

"Yeah, Potter. Give me a kiss," Draco sneered evilly. Harry looked at him
murderously. Mindy and Cindy might look vulgar, but they were funny.

"I'm straight," Harry stated, crossing his arms. "Don't get me wrong, Malfoy,
but I have no desire to kiss you."

Draco was about to reply that he would rather kiss a troll than kiss Harry when
Mindy said, "Oh, Harry… Do it for us… Draco is so handsome! How can you say
no to him? Look at him!"

'Yeah, Potter, look at me.' Draco smiled at Harry. The dark-haired man
grimaced.

"No! No way. I won't kiss you."

"That's because you're afraid, Potter," Draco pointed out, his eyes locked on
Harry's. "You're afraid you're going to like it."

"What? Don't be an idiot!" Harry protested.

Draco just shrugged. "You're such a sissy…"

That did it for Harry. He would probably regret his decision later, but he
didn't care at the moment. When he was in a state of anger, he usually did
stupid things and made all the wrong decisions. He knew that pretty well. But he
couldn't stop himself.

Harry trotted towards Draco and stopped in front of him. Then he poked Draco's
chest as he said, "I'm not afraid of you. I was never afraid of you. So if you
want a kiss, fine! I'll give you one."

The girls clapped their hands excitedly, but Harry and Draco seemed to be facing
a big dilemma. Draco had dreamed about this kiss for too long to see it spoiled
in such a cheap way. He didn't want to kiss Harry in front of Mindy and Cindy.
He wanted to kiss Harry in the privacy of a room lit by candlelight where he
could really kiss Harry properly.

"I don't believe you. I dare you," Draco whispered, sending shivers down Harry's
spine.

Harry was afraid. His heart was caught in his throat and he had difficulty
breathing. But he wasn't a coward. He would kiss Draco and prove to himself that
there wasn't any sexual tension between them. In fact, there wasn't any tension.
There was nothing sexual between them at all.

"Then you better start believing, because I won't back out," Harry said hastily.
He raised his hand to touch Draco, who trembled and stepped back. Harry
sniggered. "Who's afraid now?"

Draco cleared his throat. "I'm not afraid, Potter. I just…" I don't know if
this is such a good idea. I f I kiss you then I'll be doomed. If it feels good
then I'll know for sure that what I feel for you is very real and not just an
illusion created by a needy boy. So I don't know. Draco's mind was in turmoil,
but he didn't tell Harry his thoughts.

Draco almost stopped breathing as Harry came closer. His eyes were half-closed
now and his lips had parted involuntarily. His hands gripped the banister behind
him. Were they really going to do it?

Draco's breath caught in his throat as Harry stopped only inches away from him.
The blond could feel Harry's soft breath caressing his face. He gripped the
banister harder. Their noses touched but he didn't close his eyes.

Suddenly, there was only he and Harry in the room. He could only sense Harry and
no one else. All of their fights and exchanges of insults hung between them, but
that didn't matter. What mattered was that moment. Everything had led to this.
Every bitter word had just helped Draco repress his passion. Now he wanted to
let himself go in Harry's arms.

Draco's eyes questioned Harry, challenged him. There was a moment of hesitation,
and then Draco leaned forward and kissed Harry on the lips.

It was even better than he had imagined. And he knew for sure that he was
doomed. The taste, the smell, the soft sighs. Everything was destined to drive
him crazy. He wanted to crush Harry in his arms, to rip away all of his clothes.
But he couldn't do that, not when Harry seemed ready to collapse.

Harry closed his eyes, but didn't move. He felt Draco's lips moving on top of
his slowly and softly. He clenched his fists and froze as he felt Draco's tongue
touch his mouth, tasting it. Then his body trembled and he completely relaxed.
Harry parted his lips to give Draco's tongue room. He felt Draco's hands
touching his arms carefully, as if ready for a rejection. But even though Harry
wanted to pull away, his body didn't obey him. He would follow whatever Draco
did at this point. He wasn't in possession of his body anymore. His heart was
pounding like crazy inside his chest. He felt light-headed and dizzy. Never had
a kiss made him feel this way. He heard bells ringing in his ears.

But then it all stopped. Draco let go of him and he felt suddenly very empty and
cold. Harry took a while to register what was going on and where he was. He
looked at Draco as if he was seeing him for the first time. He heard Mindy
complaining about the interruption and it was then that Harry noticed Draco
talking on his cell phone.

"Bill… Yes… No… I know. Sure. No, I'm not… doing anything…" Blue eyes
met green ones. "Of course. I'm coming right up."



                                Kapitel 15: 15.
                                ---------------


15.
When Draco picked up his cell phone, he was still trying to make sense of the
world around him. Harry's kiss had knocked him off his feet. He wanted to purr
and rub against Harry like a cat. He certainly didn't want to let go of Harry,
but he answered his cell phone automatically. One of the bad things about being
an Auror – he should always be ready for action. Until a second before, he had
been floating and it had felt wonderful. But the moment he heard Bill's voice,
it was like a cold shower, and to come back to reality was rather painful.

He was so nervous that he almost dropped his cell phone on the floor. He barely
listened to what Bill was saying, but when he heard that someone had tried to
rob Gringotts, Draco switched his dreamy mode to his alert Auror's mode. He had
to go. He was worried about Bill. He needed to see if Bill was all right. Bill
sounded terribly upset on the phone, so Draco just wanted to make sure that
nothing had happened to him.

His eyes met Harry's. How he wished he could stay. Harry looked so tempting,
like he would do anything Draco wanted. He hung up and put the little cell phone
back in his pocket. He then took a deep breath and looked at Harry again.

Harry's face was erotically flushed. Actually, everything about Harry seemed
erotic after that breathtaking kiss. The green eyes were dilated and the ruby
lips were swollen. Draco bit his lower lip hard so he wouldn't moan at the
tempting vision of a naked Harry Potter spread on his bed with that same look on
his face. He had dreamed about that moment for so long. Harry looked so docile,
so thunderstruck. He blinked in order to focus on Bill and his work.

Draco felt suddenly shy, like he didn't know what to do or say. Harry was trying
to avoid his eyes, and that was bothering him. But he didn't have time to
confront Harry now.

"I…" he stared, clearing his throat as his voice caught in it. "I have to go.
Someone tried to break into Gringotts."

Harry immediately looked up. "What? Is anyone hurt? What did they tell you?"

"As far as I know, nobody is hurt. But I have to go there and check. It seems
that whoever it was that tried to rob the bank used dark magic, so they want my
presence there to help with the investigation."

Harry nodded. "Keep me informed. It's never good news when someone is using dark
magic."

Normally, Draco would never have given away information about one of his
investigations, but he couldn't say that to Harry. After all, Harry had
Voldemort in his background. He knew all about dark magic; of course Harry would
be concerned if someone was using it again. Besides, Draco's boss wouldn't mind
him telling Harry. He would actually tell Draco to use Harry's intense knowledge
and experience on the subject. That would probably irritate Draco, but he would
worry about those things later.

He descended the steps and said goodbye to the girls, but not to Harry. Now that
he was fully back into reality, it was hard to look at Harry. He opened the door
and stepped out, but Harry's voice stopped him.

"Malfoy! Are you coming back tonight?" Harry asked.

Draco didn't turn to face him. He couldn't. He was too nervous.

"No, I don't think so." Because it would be hard to come back and face Harry
after the kiss. Draco needed some time alone. "Have fun with the girls. I'm sure
they will keep you entertained." And then he Apparated before he could hear
Harry's reply.

He couldn't think about Harry now. He had to concentrate on other things. His
work and his boyfriend were top priority. He would deal with the kiss and its
consequences later. Still, no matter how many times he told himself that, his
heart wouldn't keep quiet. Why did he have to tell Harry to enjoy Mindy and
Cindy's company? 'Idiot!'

He climbed the steps to Gringotts' entrance and saw Bill already talking to
Hermione. She seemed surprised to see him, but then she looked at Bill and
wrinkled up her brows.

"Hermione, Bill. What's the news?" Draco asked hastily, stopping next to them.
Usually Draco would stroke Bill's hand imperceptibly like he always did when
they met in public, but this time he couldn't do it. He didn't feel like it.

Hermione seemed to be pondering her words. "Well… The case is pretty much…
solved. We caught a nineteen-year-old kid and he confessed everything. He was
careless and totally inexperienced. It wasn't so difficult to make him talk.
Anyway, he confessed that he tried to break into the bank using dark magic, but
it didn't work. It did make a huge blast in one of the walls, but now everything
is ok. I didn't even need to be here. I just wanted to make sure everything was
ok." Hermione, the workaholic. "I thought you wouldn't come," she finally said.
And Draco could tell exactly what she was thinking next. She hadn't called him;
therefore he shouldn't be there. It wasn't like Draco to be willing to work on
his time off.

"I called him," Bill said. Hermione just nodded understandingly, but also
curiously. She knew Draco had been seeing Bill for a while, but she didn't know
how serious their relationship was. It wasn't her place to ask them. Not while
Bill was there anyway.

"Ok, then. I'm done here. I need to go home. I bet Ron is making a mess in the
kitchen…" She stared at Draco, then at Bill, and then back at Draco. "Call me
this weekend, Draco. Are you going to spend it with Harry?"

Draco detected a flicker of jealousy in Bill's eyes. That took him by surprise.
"I don't know. I guess not."

"Why not? The weekends are the worst for Harry."

Draco sniggered. "I don't think this one will be so bad. He has two girls with
him, and they seem like they are going to have the time of their lives this
weekend."

Hermione opened her eyes wide. "Really? Who are they?"

"Mindy and Cindy," he hissed.

"I don't know who they are…" Hermione frowned. She didn't like the
implications of Draco's sentence. "Are they nice? What do they look? Where did
he meet them?"

Draco just shrugged. He didn't want to talk about Harry.

"Well, at least he's ok? Do you really think it's wise to leave him alone
with… those two girls?" Hermione insisted slightly irritated with Draco's
aloofness.

Draco grunted. "I don't know. I'm not a Seer, am I? He seemed to be all right
when I left him." No he didn't. Harry seemed terribly confused and lost. Draco
shivered. Harry would be ok. He had two stupid blondes to keep him company. And
Draco had been stupid enough to warm him for them. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Are you ok?" Bill asked, touching Draco's arm gently.

Draco looked down and he hated himself for it. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Hermione looked at them with a thoughtful expression, then she said goodbye and
left. She would make sure that Harry was all right, because clearly Draco was
very disturbed about something concerning Harry.

There was an awkward period of silence between Draco and Bill. Draco was
suddenly feeling ill. His head was aching and he felt a pang in his chest.

Draco had really screwed things up this time. That kiss had been his damnation.
He didn't know how he would look Harry in the eye now. He couldn't even lie to
himself anymore. He knew for sure what he felt now. He loved Harry. The kiss had
proven it.

It was so unfair. If they weren't meant to be, if they weren't soul mates, then
why did Draco feel that way? He never thought he would experience an unrequited
love. He wasn't that type of guy. He was supposed to be the one to break hearts.
It wasn't in his plans to have his heart broken. But then again, who would plan
something like that?

That was the reason why he had run away from love. It hurt so much. Now he was
stuck with that horrible feeling of rejection and pain. He felt butterflies in
his stomach just thinking about Harry.

And then there was Bill, his current boyfriend. What was the point of denying
the obvious? Bill was his boyfriend. The truth was that Draco hadn't gone out
with anyone else after he started going out with Bill. Bill was so sweet and
tender with him, and he wanted them to share a life together. Draco had repaid
all that kindness by kissing Harry Potter.

But then again, Bill was the only one to blame for that situation. He had
practically pushed Draco onto Harry. If Bill loved him so much, he wouldn't have
agreed with his family that Draco was the solution to Harry's depression. He
wouldn't have allowed Draco to sleep in Harry's house.

"Mindy and Cindy, huh?" Bill said, breaking the silence.

Draco looked at him and scowled. "Do you know them?" Bill half-smiled and Draco
snorted. "You do know them! Let me guess, Mindy and Cindy were probably
strippers at every damn Gryffindor party. They must have slept with everyone in
your bloody Common Room!"

"They are younger than me, Draco. If I had made a pass at them when I was still
a Hogwarts student, I would have been arrested. I didn't meet them at
Hogwarts."

"Then where? Oh, wait! That damn party Fred and George threw when they opened a
branch of their joke shop! That's where you met them! They hired twin sisters to
strip for them! The MC Sisters! Mindy and Cindy! I knew I should have come to
that party…" Draco cursed himself in thought. "Did you fuck them?"

"No, why would I?"

"Because you swing both ways and I know what a sucker you are for blondes. I
still remember Fleur, you know?"

Bill grinned at Draco. "Are you jealous?"

Draco grunted. "I'm not jealous. I'm just asking if you fucked them or not."

"I didn't. I do have a thing for blondes, but they are not my type. I'm
surprised to know that they are Harry's. Harry always went for a different type
of girl. He really changed…" Bill looked thoughtful. "All of my family was
really looking forward to his marriage with Ginny… We were all cheering for
them. But then Ginny broke the whole thing off and he was devastated… I guess
that must be the reason why he picks those kinds of girls now…"

Draco took a deep breath. He didn't want to hear about Harry and Ginny. He had
been devastated at the time. He didn't want to go through the same pain again.
He felt even angrier with Bill for reminding him of those horrible days when he
thought Harry would marry Ginny Weasley.

"Why did you send me there?" he asked quietly, his eyelashes flickering.

Bill came closer to him but didn't touch him. "What are you talking about?"

"Why did you send me to Harry? If you love me, why did you send me to another
man?" Draco asked accusingly.

Bill bit his lower lip. He leaned against one of Gringotts' distorted walls and
sighed. "I didn't really have a choice. My whole family was convinced that you
had to go. Eventually Fred convinced me, too. I like Harry. He's a good kid. I
really want to help him. But… I feel jealous of you there with him, all alone.
I know what you used to feel for Harry." Bill's eyes locked in his. "If we are
going to move in together, I figure you should sort out your feelings for him.
You need closure. Otherwise we won't stand a chance." Bill walked towards him
again and stroked his face. "Did I already lose you? In three days? What
happened today?"

Draco took a step back. "Nothing extraordinary happened. We just fight, that's
all. That's what we do best. We fight," he said bitterly.

"Draco…" Bill saddened.

"Bill… please." Draco closed his eyes and licked his lips. "Please, just…
Why did you call me here if I wasn't needed?"

Bill smiled feebly. "You are needed, blondie. I need you."

Bill cupped Draco's face and kissed him. Draco was surprised by the sudden
display of public affection. It was true that there weren't too many people
around at this time of night, but Draco didn't relax. He feared that someone
would react violently at the sight of two men kissing. He knew that kind of
violence very well. He had experienced it more than once.

Besides, kissing Bill in public meant that their relationship was getting
serious. It meant a commitment that Draco wasn't ready for, especially after
kissing Harry.

But he let himself be kissed, mostly because he was feeling guilty. He knew it
was stupid of him to feel that way. He blamed Bill most for the mess inside his
heart and mind, but Bill's touch always seemed to calm him down.

Bill's kisses didn't make him float, but they excited him. And Draco constantly
surrendered himself when Bill touched him like that. But today he was too
confused.

He drew back a little and stared at Bill.

"I need to be alone right now," he muttered.

"Do you love him, Draco?"

Draco felt suddenly very cold. He wrapped his arms around himself. "What if I
do?"

Bill seemed taken aback by his honesty. The redhead gulped and his fists
clenched. Draco then realised that Bill was suffering with all of that. Bill's
coolness was just an act.

"I guess I'm prepared for that."

Draco looked deeply inside Bill's eyes, trying to read him. "What do you mean?"

"It means that I won't give you up that easily. If you want to have a fling with
Harry, then go ahead. It'll hurt a lot, but… I'll get over it. All I want is
for you to get over him."

"Harry is straight. There is not even a remote possibility that he and I…"

"I know he is. I was too, not so long ago. But a certain blond made me change my
mind…" Draco opened his eyes wide. "Yes, I'm talking about you."

"You said I wasn't the first guy you slept with!"

"You weren't. But you were the first to really tempt me. Do you like me,
Draco?"

"Don't be stupid. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't be with you. You know I have
been faithful to you."

"But not today."

Draco looked the other way. "Even today. I'm here, right?"

"You aren't here because of me but because of work."

"Dammit, Bill! What do you want from me?" Draco asked, exasperated. "You love
me, but you'll let me sleep with Potter!?"

"That's because I love you too much!"

"Bullshit! I would never let…" …Harry sleep with anyone else but me. "I'd
never throw the person I love in the arms of someone else. I don't understand
you, Bill."

"I don't understand myself anymore. I want to see you happy, even if it is with
Harry. But at the same time, I have this primitive need to have you near me, and
do you know what I want to do right now? I want to take you in my arms and lock
you in my room for the whole weekend."

And Draco wanted him to do just that. He wanted to forget about Harry and those
feelings that were destroying him slowly. But he didn't want to use Bill like
that. He was suddenly very angry with Bill, with Harry, with himself. He was
confused. He needed some time alone to think things over.

"I have to go home," he said tiredly. "I'll call you." Draco turned to leave,
but Bill stopped him.

"I do love you, Draco. I love you so much that I'm always thinking about your
happiness first. But please, when the month is over, come back to me."

Draco's heart tightened inside his chest.



                                Kapitel 16: 16.
                                ---------------


16.
‘Have fun with the girls.’

Harry scowled. He would have done just that if it weren’t for the fact that he
was feeling butterflies in his stomach and he felt like throwing up. He also
couldn’t understand why his body couldn’t stop shaking. Maybe he was
catching a cold. He wrapped his arms around his body and sat on the windowsill
of his bedroom.

He could understand why a pure-blood family like the Blacks had chosen this
muggle neighbourhood to live in. It was so quiet and peaceful in Grimmauld
Place. With the exception of his next-door neighbour, he rarely saw muggles
walking on the sidewalk. The only crowded place was Grimmauld Park, just two
blocks away from his house. It was the same place Draco had taken him jogging.

He embraced himself tightly at the thought of Draco. No matter how much he tried
to refocus his thoughts on more important things, every little thing led him
back to Draco, like he didn’t have enough to worry about at the moment. He
needed to concentrate on his nightmares and the terrifying fact that his scar
had throbbed. He hated to admit that he was afraid of the meaning of those
dreams. Voldemort had looked right at him. Not at baby Harry, but at the
full-sized version of future Harry Potter.

He was afraid for the first time in his life, because the only theory he had
come up with was that maybe, just maybe, Voldemort was living inside of him.
That would certainly explain why Harry had strange mood swings all of a sudden.
It would explain why he looked like he was ill. Or maybe he only thought
Voldemort was inside of him because he was becoming him. He was bitter and
hopeless. He had let darkness take over his being. Maybe Fudge had been right
when he had accused him of wanting to be the next Dark Lord.

He shook his head. That was bullshit. He wasn’t Voldemort. He was just
overreacting. It was all a bad dream. Just a very bad dream… Hermione didn’t
need to know about it. Nobody needed to know.

Draco had seen his scar throbbing though. Would he tell Hermione about it?

And there he was again, thinking about Draco. He distractedly brushed his
fingers on his lips as the memories of the kiss came back to him. It was almost
as if Draco was there, kissing him again, tempting him, making him melt. Harry
trembled. He couldn’t understand what was going on with him. Never had a kiss
left him in such a trance. He remembered when his heart used to beat faster at
the sight of Cho, and later with Ginny. He remembered his palms sweating when he
had asked Ginny to marry him, and the way he had flushed when he had first asked
her on a date. He remembered feeling nervous. But the sensations he had felt
because of Draco’s kiss were new to him.

He had felt his heart throbbing, which he had felt before. But before, his heart
didn’t seem like it would come out of his mouth and bounce off the walls. He
had felt nervous, after all, he always felt nervous when facing a new situation.
But he had never felt dizzy when kissing a girl. He had never felt those
delicious tingles running through his body. Draco’s kiss had snapped his
control. That was certainly something that had never happened to him just
because of a kiss. Harry had never lost control over a simple kiss.

He leaned his head against the window and sighed. He had waited for so long to
feel those things. It wasn’t fair that Draco was the one to awake those
feelings in him. Harry was straight. He had never felt any kind of attraction
towards other guys. If only it wasn’t Draco. If only Harry hadn’t lost his
mind and accepted that stupid challenge he saw in Draco’s eyes. He should know
better than to trust his bad temper by now.  He always did the wrong thing when
he was angry.

Was he gay? Maybe it wasn’t just Draco. Maybe he had a thing for guys, he had
just never really noticed. He made a face. Wouldn’t the Daily Prophet love to
hear that the Boy-Who-Lived was gay? It would be the gossip of a lifetime.

He cursed Draco for messing with his head. Harry didn’t want to be gay. He
didn’t want one more thing to make him different from the rest of the world.

He shouldn’t have sent Cindy and Mindy away. Their presence would have
reassured his manhood. At least they would have kept him company for the
weekend. He always felt so lonely on weekends. He didn’t know why. It wasn’t
as if his weeks were any different. But somehow weekends were quieter than usual
in Grimmauld Place.

It was Saturday night. He still had time to call the girls back. They had been
so disappointed when they had left. But he didn’t feel like calling them back.
He couldn’t get Draco out of his mind. What if he fantasized of Draco while
sleeping with them? It would be awful. 

He desperately needed a drink. He got out of his bedroom and went downstairs.
Mrs. Black only stared at him thoughtfully on his way to the living room. Harry
barely paid attention to her. He took a bottle of bourbon from the bar and
turned on the stereo.

‘It couldn’t be that hard to live alone

But I’m all, all alone again

Thinking you’ll never say

That you’ll be home again.’

He wrinkled his nose. He didn’t want to hear sad love songs at this time of
night, especially songs about being lonely.

“And it’s gonna be a long night

And it’s gonna be cold without your arms

And I’m going get stage fright caught in the headlights

It’s gonna be a long night

And I know I’m gonna lose this fight.’ ()

No, he wouldn’t lose anything. He would fight those upsetting feelings and
win. Then he wouldn’t feel hot and feverish when Draco kissed him again.

‘What am I talking about? He will never kiss me again! His lips will never
touch mine; his fingers will never stroke me like he is afraid of breaking me. I
won’t let him hold me in his arms and…’ He felt slightly dizzy. And he
hadn’t even drunk anything yet. He felt feverish again. Maybe he was getting
sick, and that sudden heat had nothing to do with Draco.

He sat on the red satin settee by the fireplace and a few torches that were
strategically placed around the room lit with just one look. He was about to
take a sip of the bourbon when he heard someone knocking on his door and
shouting for him. He rested the bottle on the floor, upset. He considered not
answering it, but the knock only became louder until he heard ‘Hot Stuff’
being played like a doorbell. He couldn’t help but smile. He knew who it was.
He walked towards the door – hearing and ignoring Mrs. Black in the background
complaining about how distasteful young people were – and opened it.

“Fred, what the hell are you doing here on a Saturday night?” Harry asked.
Fred hugged him fondly and then entered the house without waiting for Harry’s
invitation.

“I need your signature on a few papers… That’s what you get for having a
share of our joke shop, partner.”

“I never really asked for that share…”

“Well, you got it, so you might as well take advantage of it and help us out.
You know, it would be great if you dropped by our shops from time to time.
George and I have new ideas for that instantaneous party of ours.” Fred
stopped next to Mrs. Black and smiled wickedly. “How are you, old hag?”

Mrs. Black snorted and stuck up her nose. She hated the Weasleys. To her, they
were the worst sort of wizards.

“Cute as always,” Fred said. “I think I have something for you to use on
her, Harry. We are still working on it, so if you ever feel like helping us test
our new products, could you lend her to us?” Fred asked with a phoney
sweetness. Mrs. Black made a horrified expression, and her list of curse words
began to be recited.

“I’ll definitely keep that in mind,” Harry said, grinning. Mrs. Black told
him to go to hell and join his stupid family. Harry sent her a threatening look
and then took Fred to the living room.

Fred took a few folded papers from his shiny blue jacket - that kept changing
colours from time to time - and handed them to Harry. Harry didn’t bother to
read them. He never did. That usually annoyed Fred and George, but no matter
what they said, Harry never listened.

“I sure as hell hope our stuff is the only thing you sign without reading,
Harry. What if this was your will? What if we were trying to rip you off?”

Harry shrugged. “Then have a good life with my money.”

“You’re a crazy bastard.”

Harry finished signing the papers and handed them back to Fred. “I don’t
deny it. You could always buy my share.”

“Nope. You helped us out. It was your money that made our dream possible. That
place is yours as much as it is ours. It’s only right that you’re our
partner,” Fred answered while putting the papers back in his pocket.

Harry didn’t bother to reply. He had tried before without any success. “Is
there anything else?”

“No, that’s pretty much it.” Fred looked around. “Where’s Draco?”

Harry shuddered slightly. “I dunno. Why do you ask?”

Fred cocked his head. “I know he’s been living with you.”

“He isn’t!”

“That’s not what I’ve heard.”

Hermione and her big mouth would pay. Harry clenched his fists.

“So, is he living here?” Fred insisted.

Harry remembered how uneasy he had felt when he had seen Draco coming to his
place with luggage in his hands and then unpacking his things in the room next
to Harry’s.

“Yes, he is,” Harry answered grimly. “But he isn’t here now.”

“Oh, that’s a pity. I’m sure he would have loved to come with me to this
new night-club that opened today in Diagon Alley.”

Harry felt his mouth dry. “I didn’t know you were close with Malfoy.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty amazing.” Fred winked. “But hey, things change. Draco
sure changed a lot. We always have fun together.”

Harry didn’t like to think of Draco and Fred having fun, because he knew
exactly what kind of fun Fred liked the most. And with that thought, it suddenly
struck Harry that Draco might have someone in his life. He might have a
boyfriend. And that boyfriend could be Fred. His heart skipped a beat. 

“Draco and I used to go out together quite a lot. We slept together,” Fred
said with his usual honesty. Harry ignored the sudden jealousy that possessed
him. “But it didn’t work out. I don’t like to go steady. I’m too young,
if you know what I mean. And Draco… Even though he denies it, he’s looking
for a steady relationship.”

“Is he seeing someone?” Harry asked against his better judgment. He bit his
tongue hard and crossed his arms. “Never mind. I don’t really want to know.
It isn’t as if I care anyway. I mean, I don’t give a damn about him,” he
said at once, knowing very well that Fred would notice how nervous he looked.
“I just wanted to know because I have the right to. I mean, the guy is living
with me now… And who knows? Maybe he’s dating a Death Eater or
something.”

Fred didn’t laugh. He just looked at Harry as if he knew something Harry
didn’t. He looked at Harry as if the brunette were a little child who knew
nothing about the world. Harry felt uncomfortable being the object of that
look.

“He’s seeing Bill,” Fred said after pondering if it was wise to tell Harry
the truth.

Harry felt short of breath for a moment. “Bill?”

“Yeah, Bill.”

“As in Bill Weasley? Your brother Bill?”

Fred nodded. Harry was shocked by the knowledge that Bill was also gay, but the
fact that he was dating Draco – the same Draco who had kissed him with such
passion – was ten times worst. But then, what did it matter? Harry didn’t
care about Draco. He was only feeling outraged because Draco had cheated on
Bill.

“That bastard!” he exclaimed.

Fred raised an eyebrow. “Who? Draco or Bill?”

Harry’s mouth opened and then closed. He was too angry to speak. He raised his
arms and then let them fall with a sigh. “Is everyone gay now? When did this
happen?” He didn’t really expect an answer so he kept going with his
rampage, “Are they going steady? Because Draco doesn’t behave like he’s in
love at all!” Didn’t he? Harry didn’t know that for sure. “But he kissed
me!” he answered to himself. “He bloody kissed me! Did he think of Bill? He
didn’t say anything! And what was that look of disgust he threw at me when he
saw me with Mindy and Cindy?”

Fred was thunderstruck by everything Harry had said. He suppressed a grin.
Hermione would be very happy to know that their plan was working. He asked for
Bill’s forgiveness in silence, but he wasn’t at all sorry for sending Draco
there. Draco and Harry belonged together. Bill loved Draco, but Draco wasn’t
the only one in his heart. Fred knew his brother’s heart very well. He knew
Bill’s heart beat faster for somebody else, somebody out of his reach. He also
knew he could be wrong about the whole thing. He and Hermione were playing a
very dangerous game, but they couldn’t help it. Not when he saw Harry snapping
like that.

“He kissed you?” Fred asked quietly, making Harry pale.

“Erm… No… I mean, it wasn’t… Well, he really pissed me off… If
Malfoy hadn’t challenged me…!”

“He kissed you then.” Fred smiled and enlaced Harry’s neck. “You don’t
have to make so many excuses.”

“I’m not!” Harry exploded. “I don’t like him. I hate him. He’s
everything I’ve ever despised in this world. And I’m not gay! Am I?”

Fred looked deeply inside Harry’s sparkling eyes and then kissed him.
Harry’s eyes opened up wide, his whole body freezing at Fred’s touch. Fred
let go of him after a few seconds and then smiled sadly. “Well, you’re not
gay after all. No one can resist my kiss. It’s either that or I’m losing my
touch, and I’d rather go with the not gay thing. So, you are straight.”

Harry took a while to get back to normal. He was very confused now and he
didn’t know if his lack of reaction to Fred’s kiss was a good thing or not.
He wasn’t relieved. Because if he didn’t feel anything for Fred… then he
was doomed.

“What does it mean?” Harry asked in a whisper.

Fred frowned. “What do you mean?”

Harry shook his head. “I don’t know.” He leaned his head against the wall
and stared into space. “I… Dammit. I just realised… I just realised
why…” He closed his eyes. “Hermione, that… She has no right to play with
my life.”

“Harry… What are you talking about?”

Harry threw him a sharp look. “You know damn well what I am talking about.
Hermione once told me, a long time ago, that she thought that deep down I was in
love with Malfoy, because I hated him so much. If you hate someone that much,
she said, then you must love them. She saw my angry face so she quickly told me
she was kidding. But she wasn’t! And by sending Draco here, she expects me to
realise my true feelings. You joked about this once too. So you are both playing
with my fucking life!”

“Harry…”

“Shit!” Harry slid to the floor and buried his face in his hands. “I’ll
curse you and her forever!”

Fred sighed and knelt beside him. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do!” Harry groaned.

“He makes you feel different, doesn’t he?” Harry shook his head and Fred
patted it. “Yes, he does. If he didn’t, you wouldn’t be feeling so edgy.
He makes you feel. Hermione and I noticed it that a long time ago.”

Harry looked up, his eyes fuming. “This isn’t a game! It’s my life, you
know?”

“Well, yeah. And I realise that we are playing with fire. But really, I was
always attracted to flames… I can’t help it.”

“Fuck you, Fred! I don’t want to play this game!”

“Why not? I mean, think about it. If you really don’t feel anything, what
are you so afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid,” he said, but his words sounded meaningless.

“Then what’s the harm in my wicked plan?”

Harry licked his dry lips. “Even if I did feel something for Malfoy, he’s
with Bill. Don’t you have any shame? He’s your brother! And even knowing
this, you send his boyfriend to my house hoping that we would hook up? How
fucked up is that?”

Fred scratched his head. “Well, I realise I am evil… But I also know that
Draco doesn’t love Bill, and that Bill loves someone else. They do like each
other. But they are not meant to be.”

“You’re playing God.”

“I know. It’s a very risky bet, Harry. But… I just want you all to be
happy. You felt something when he kissed you, right?”

“No.”

“No?”

Harry sighed. “Maybe I did… But it didn’t mean anything. You said it
yourself, right? I’m not gay.”

“The label doesn’t matter when it comes to love, Harry.”

Fred’s words cut deeply inside of him and they kept coming back to him even
after Fred’s departure. Harry went back to his room feeling gloomier than
ever. He even forgot about drinking. The only thing on his mind was Draco and
the kiss they had shared. He wondered if Draco was feeling the same way he was.
‘It’s going to be a very long night…’ he thought tiredly.

TBC…

The music Harry’s listening to is called Long Night, by The Corrs.



                                Kapitel 17: 17.
                                ---------------


17.
The last person Harry expected to knock on his door on Sunday morning was Draco.
But there he was, with his blond hair shining like gold in the sunlight, his
blue eyes staring at Harry coldly, his hands hidden in his leather jacket
pockets. He was wearing a tight white t-shirt underneath it and black jeans that
should have been forbidden. They stared at each other for a few minutes and then
turned their heads away embarrassedly.

Even though Harry wanted to shout and tell Draco that he didn’t want to see
him ever again, he just opened the door and let Draco in without saying a word.
Truth was that he didn’t know what to say. There were many questions popping
in his head, but all of them would give away too much of his feelings, and he
didn’t want to look fragile and confused in front of Draco. So he just pulled
on his face as if nothing differently had happened between them; as if the kiss
had only been a dream.

“So you’re back,” Harry muttered as if he didn’t expect Draco to
return.

“My best clothes are here, and so is my briefcase. So yeah, I’m back.”

“For how long?”

“A month, Potter. That was the agreement, wasn’t it?” Draco sneered. “If
you’d excuse me, I have to go through some paperwork I left in my room…”

Out of the corner of his eyes, Harry watched Draco climbing the stairs and
vanishing through the corridor of the second floor. He wanted to shout for Draco
to come back and face him properly, but he didn’t dare. After all, he didn’t
know how to act in front of Draco now. He couldn’t help but wonder what Draco
was thinking. Oh, how he yearned to ask the blond his secrets. Draco probably
had something magic in him that lured Harry so much.

For the rest of the day, Draco ignored him. They barely saw each other’s face,
and when they did, Draco quickly turned around and disappeared. Harry couldn’t
understand Draco’s odd reaction to his presence. It was Harry who was supposed
to be ignoring him, not the other way around. If there was one thing that
irritated Harry the most it was being ignored by Draco. He couldn’t imagine
Draco’s reasons for being so quiet. It wasn’t like Draco at all. The Draco
he knew would bark into his house making fun of that embarrassing kiss. He
wouldn’t throw side looks at Harry.

At lunchtime, Draco cooked for both, but not once did he speak to Harry, or even
look at him. Harry should have been glad, but he wasn’t. He was beginning to
feel quite pissed off.

In the afternoon, Harry put aside the book he was pretending to read with a loud
frustrated groan and marched to Draco’s room. He didn’t bother to knock
before barging in; after all, it was his house. He walked in disregarding
Draco’s annoyance and stared at him.

Harry’s breath was cut off for a moment at the vision of Draco sitting on the
windowsill with a folder in his hands. The fading daylight falling on his face
made him look like an angel. Harry’s hands fisted at his sides and he
grunted.

“Ok. Let’s get something straight,” Harry began, inflamed. He didn’t
really know what to say exactly. He was just too mad. So before he could think
about it, the words just left his mouth, “Nothing happened. That kiss didn’t
mean anything. So if you’re worried about Bill finding out, you can relax.”
Draco gasped at the mention of Bill. Harry felt a hidden pleasure at getting
under Draco’s nerves. “I won’t say anything. I would never say anything. I
really respect Bill. You were a bastard for kissing me while dating him, but
that’s you, right? You don’t care about anyone else but yourself.” He
didn’t mean to say that. The kiss was also his fault. Why did Draco always
make him lose control of his emotions?

Draco frowned. It looked as if he was about to say something, but he seemed to
think otherwise because he kept quiet. That coolness pissed Harry off even more.
He didn’t want Draco to behave like a bloody gentleman. He wanted Draco to
react to his harsh words.

“I’m surprised that you can date someone like Bill. I mean, he’s such a
good lad. I have no idea what he sees in you.” Harry knew he was crossing the
line, but the words just kept coming out. “You must be really good in bed, I
guess. As far as I knew, Bill liked Fleur. I was convinced they would get
married. You must have done something to him, because–”

Draco dropped the folder he was holding on the floor and Harry closed his mouth
instantly. The blue eyes were sparkling with suppressed anger. Draco’s fierce
look burned through him. Draco took a step forward and Harry took a step back.
Harry’s heart pounded violently in his chest. He had finally got the reaction
he wanted.

“What’s the matter?” Draco asked unemotionally. “I don’t bite,
Potter.” Harry raised an eyebrow sceptically and Draco sneered. “Well, I do
bite, but just when I’m feeling cornered. That time when I bit you, you were
choking me to death.”

Harry remembered the episode very well. They had been sixth year students, and
Draco had asked him if he could join the D.A. classes. Since Harry didn’t want
to tutor Draco in Defence against the Dark Arts, he ditched the blond and told
him to fuck himself. They had bickered, as usual, and Draco had scratched his
face. It was just like Draco to fight like a girl. At the time Harry had been
very edgy, and he had squeezed Draco’s neck with all of his anger. But then he
had realised what he was doing and he had loosened his grip, allowing Draco to
turn his head to the side and bite his hand with his sharp teeth.

“Are you cornering me now, Potter?” Draco asked softly, but Harry could see
that he was hanging by a thread.

“Fuck you, Malfoy. I’m not afraid of you. If you want a piece of me, I’m
right here. It isn’t my fault if you can’t handle the truth,” Harry
provoked him.

It was all very fast. Draco pushed Harry against the wall and the brunette lost
his breath for a moment. He barely had time to recover when Draco tripped him
and sat on top of him, locking Harry’s hips with his legs and pinning
Harry’s arms to the floor. Harry felt shivers down his spine.

“If you want to play, Potter, I’m all for it,” Draco muttered against
Harry’s ear. They stared, forehead to forehead. Draco’s breath was as
unsteady as much as Harry’s. “Don’t forget, Potter, that we are playing
under my rules. Don’t mess with me unless you are ready to face punishment.
You know I can be very dangerous. Aren’t you the only one who knows my true
nature? You always said I was a fake. Do you want to prove yourself right by
pissing me off?”

Draco’s lips brushed Harry’s, and Harry fought the urge to close his eyes
and moan. He could already feel the lower part of his body reacting to Draco’s
proximity. He just prayed for Draco not to notice it.

“I bet you felt disgusted by our kiss, right? Or perhaps you felt even more
disgusted with the fact that you liked it. Did I touch a nerve?” Draco licked
his lips and smirked. “Next time you provoke me, I will kiss you. In fact,
I’ll kiss you every time you try to mess with me. How’s that?” Harry
opened his eyes as wide as he could. He didn’t know if he should feel outraged
or excited.

“Don’t talk about things you know nothing about. Bill is my concern, not
yours. Keep your nose out of my business,” Draco hissed, his hands gripping
Harry’s wrists hard.

Harry wanted to remind Draco that the blond was keeping not only his nose, but
especially his mouth in Harry’s business, so it was only fair that Harry
messed with his. Harry was feeling so helpless lying under Draco. He had never
felt that way before, so he didn’t know what he should do about it. His senses
were all fuzzy. With his brain turning into pudding, there was no way he could
react to Draco’s words properly.

Draco let go of him and stood up. Harry held the urge to embrace himself and
curl into a ball. The green eyes met Draco’s and Harry was surprised to see
how hurt Draco looked.

“Dammit, Potter. You bring out the worst in me, you know that?” Draco’s
eyes flickered and he passed his fingers through his silky hair nervously.
“You… If you want to know, I am deeply sorry for kissing you. I was mad at
you… At the time it seemed a good idea. You have this peacock attitude that
really gets on my nerves! I just wanted to teach you a lesson. I didn’t expect
you to really accept the girls’ challenge. Not that this is any of your
concern, but I will tell Bill about it. I’m not the same bastard as before. It
doesn’t matter what you think of me. I am not…” Draco’s voice faded, and
he left the room immediately.

Harry didn’t follow him right away. He stayed on the floor, staring at the
ceiling, lost. He didn’t know why he was always so cruel to Draco, why he had
the need to hurt him so badly. Draco had gotten on his nerves in the past, but
after their seventh year the blond had tried to redeem himself.  Harry had lost
count of how many times Draco had apologised to him. Harry had always turned
Draco’s offers of truce down.

He clutched his shirt and moaned. His heart was aching so much. He wanted to go
to his room and lock himself away from everything. That had always been his
dream, to just alienate himself from the world. He didn’t want friendship. He
didn’t want love. He just wanted to be left alone. He wasn’t fit for a
normal life. He wasn’t fit for love.

Maybe Hermione was right and all of those years Harry had been secretly in love
with Draco. Draco messed too much with him. But Harry didn’t want to be in
love, especially with someone like Draco.

The problem, he realised with bitterness, wasn’t Draco anymore. The problem
was him. Draco was now a much better person than Harry. Draco indeed deserved
someone like Bill. And Harry couldn’t stand the horrible truth, so he
preferred to deny it and throw the guilt at Draco.

He didn’t want to drag Draco into same hole he was in, not when the blond had
spectacularly made a winner of himself by surpassing so many problems.

Harry sighed and lifted himself from the ground. Then he went downstairs to
start searching for Draco.

“Malfoy!” he called.

Mrs. Black wrinkled her nose disapprovingly. “You’re losing…” she
pointed out. Harry made a face as he realised the implications of her sentence.

“So what if I am?” he groaned.

She snorted and then said, “I just thought you were tougher… But you
aren’t. He’s in the living room.”

Harry was surprised by her help. She had never done it before. But he didn’t
have time to think about Mrs. Black now. He walked towards the living room with
his heart in his mouth and spotted Draco leaning against the windowsill.

Draco only glanced at him once and then looked away.

“Did you know that I have an Invisibility cloak?” Harry asked.

Draco frowned. “Yeah. Everybody knew about it by the time we were
seventeen…”

Harry made a face. “What about an enchanted map that showed all of
Hogwarts?”

“Yeah, I know about that too.”

Harry scratched his head. “Did you know what I used to hear when the Dementors
came close to me?”

Draco looked at him curiously. “No.”

“I heard my mother dying. I heard her screaming and calling my name.”

“Oh…” Draco looked down, speechless.

“After Voldemort her scream got mixed up with others… It was horrible. And
just before he died I could actually feel all the pain he had caused people with
his evilness.”

Draco gulped. “That’s probably why you went catatonic. Too much pain to bear
alone…”

Harry smiled feebly. “I never thought about it that way… Actually, I don’t
think about it. At least I try not to. What’s the point?”

Draco seemed thoughtful. “Why are you telling me this?”

“It’s my way of saying that I’m sorry,” Harry answered quietly.

“And you think I will forgive you just because you told me something so…”
Draco sighed. “Dammit. You have my forgiveness, you bastard. What you just
told me… It’s so personal… so… You are trying to drive me insane,
aren’t you? It’s really hard to keep up with your mood swings. You slap me
with one hand and stroke me with the other… It’s really confusing.”

Harry sat on the couch and smiled bitterly. “Welcome to my world. That’s the
reason why I’ve decided to live like a recluse. It’s not just with you,
although you really get on my nerves more than anyone else I know. I used to
snap for no reason with Ron, Hermione and pretty much everybody else. All it
took was to get me on a bad day; and bad days are all I’ve known since
Sirius…” Harry paused. Even though it had been so long ago, the memory of
what had happened to Sirius still hurt. “I hurt my friends. I took out all of
my anger on them. And in the end I…”

“You decided to get away from them before they could get away from you,”
Draco stated.

Harry nodded. His hands started to shake. He didn’t know why he was telling
all of these things to Draco. He rose from the couch and paced around the room
tensely.

“It’s ok,” Draco whispered close to him.

Harry jumped and winced at Draco’s closeness. “No, it’s not ok. You
don’t get it. I can’t be different. Not anymore. I don’t know what’s
happening to me. Voldemort…” Harry shut his mouth as a sudden tremor ran
through his body. Harry felt Draco touching his arms slowly. Harry didn’t put
up a fight. He allowed Draco to hold him. He needed the strength of those arms
so much. “If you stay I’ll keep being a bastard. I can’t help it.”

Draco stared at Harry. Their faces were so close now. Harry could steal away a
kiss if he just leaned forward. “Maybe I deserve your harsh words. I was very
wicked in the past. I hurt you many times with my stupid comments and actions.
But I would really like you to... be my friend now. I’m not like that
anymore,” Draco said.

“I know. I like to tell myself that you haven’t changed, but you have. And
I… like what I see in you now.” Harry’s eyes moved around the room. He
couldn’t look into Draco’s eyes. “This time I want to accept all those
offers of truce that I turned down before. But before I do it, let me tell you
some of my rules. If you see me in a bad mood, don’t push it. Just ignore me
and leave me be. I will keep hurting you if you stay. That’s what I do.
Sometimes I feel like I’m not myself. The old Harry wouldn’t want to hurt
you on purpose… But the old Harry is dead.”

“I really hate you,” Draco whispered. “How can you be such a jerk and so
cute at the same time?”

Harry finally looked at him. He was surprised to see how touched Draco looked.
Harry bit his lower lip and raised his hand. His breath got caught in his throat
as he waited for Draco’s decision. After what seemed like forever, Draco
enfolded Harry’s hand with a firm grip and shook it.

“I’m Draco Malfoy, second best in the Auror’s Headquarters,” Draco said
with a feeble voice.

Harry smiled involuntarily. “What are you…?”

“Just go along with it, Potter.”

Harry took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “Harry Potter, first one in
the screwed up department. Graduated with honours, actually.”

“It’s a nice department. I know a lot of people there. My father is one of
them.”

“It’s not fair, Malfoy. I’m the one who should have said that. I’m the
one allowed to make fun of your father.”

“Oh, right. I’m sorry.”

They smiled at each other.

“Let’s try to get along,” Harry said.

Draco made a face. “I thought I was trying…”

“Then let me try to get along with you. Truce?”

Harry felt strange as Draco nodded his acceptance. Their hands were still
united. A warm feeling embraced him, and he smiled softly.

“Next time you hurt me, can I bite you?” Draco asked.

Harry wrinkled his forehead. “You can try…” he answered with a sneer.



                                Kapitel 18: 18.
                                ---------------


18.
If there was something Harry praised a lot in his life it was his daily routine.
Everything that disturbed his schedule was mostly unwelcome. Harry thought Draco
would be one of those disturbing things, but as the week passed by, he realised
that Draco’s presence, far from upsetting him, was easily incorporated into
his life.

The way they seemed to be adjusting to each other’s habits was amazing to
Harry. Instead of jogging, Draco had convinced Harry to walk with him. So every
morning they got up at 6:00 A.M. to walk in Grimmauld Park. Harry still didn’t
like the eyes of pity upon him, but Draco’s quiet company made up for that
inconvenience, especially when Harry realised that Draco didn’t seem aware of
the fact that people eyed the blonde with desire. Harry wondered when the world
had become so upside down. A world were Draco wasn’t aware of his own power of
seduction was a very weird world. Draco had been the sex god of Slytherin. Harry
remembered quite well how Draco had bragged about it. And yet now Draco didn’t
seem to care.

After walking, they had breakfast together. They didn’t speak much, but
Draco’s constant presence by his side every morning was very soothing.

It wasn’t everyday that Draco came back from work to have lunch with him, but
Harry was always surprised to see food on his table at lunchtime. Draco had
hired an owl to bring him his lunch. Harry had been very touched by this. He
wanted to thank Draco for being so considerate with him, but the words always
got stuck in his throat.

Conversations were still an issue between them, and Harry still snapped very
easily. But Harry was beginning to learn how to control his impulses, and for
every rude comment he made towards Draco, he compensated by apologising and
telling Draco something personal about himself. Draco never made fun of his
vulnerability, which surprised Harry a lot. Draco was always a gentleman. He had
matured in such a way that Harry felt ashamed of himself. Draco was constantly
surprising him. Living together was turning out to be very interesting, and not
as difficult as he had thought it would be.

Their truce had shown Harry just how much Draco had changed. Now that they were
trying their best not to get on each other’s nerves, Draco was showing Harry a
new side of him.

Those changes were definitely making Harry feel unsettled. For one thing, Harry
started to consider that maybe Hermione was right about him and his feelings for
Draco. For another, that same knowledge was infuriating him. He didn’t want to
have feelings for Draco.

Another thing that upset Harry was the fact that, even though sometimes he told
Draco something personal about himself, Draco, on the other hand, never told him
anything about his life. Harry still knew nothing about Bill, and about what had
happened to Draco in his past that seemed to disturb the blond so much. And
Harry was surprised to realise that he wanted to know Draco better.

He wanted to ask about Draco’s parents. He wanted to know about what had
happened to Draco when the blond had vanished from the wizarding world for a
short period of time after their graduation. Above all, he wanted to know if it
was true that Bill and Draco would move in together when Draco left Harry’s
house at the end of the month.

He damned Fred for telling him that. But then again, it was Harry’s fault. He
shouldn’t have asked about Draco’s relationship with Bill. What he had heard
from Fred had made him very jealous. Fred had found it amusing, but the
situation was anything but that to Harry.

Sometimes he caught Draco on the phone with Bill, and he always felt tempted to
listen. Only one time did he give in, telling himself he would listen just a
little. But Draco had caught him in the act, eavesdropping. The blond had
frowned and had slammed the door in Harry’s face. Harry had felt his face
burning, both from anger and embarrassment. But what was a man to do?

That day he had made a silent note to ask Fred for some Extendable Ears. Then he
had shaken his head, astonished. He wouldn’t spy on Draco. What was he
thinking? But he really wanted to know more about Draco and Bill. In fact, he
was becoming obsessed over it. So against his better judgment he had asked
George for an Extendable Ear, making sure that George wouldn’t tell anyone
about it.

He didn’t have the courage to use the magical device though. He hadn’t gone
so low that he would now listen to private conversations that weren’t any of
his business.

But maybe he should. Or at least he should swallow his pride and ask Draco more
things about his life. Harry didn’t even know Draco’s cell phone number.
What if something happened to the blond? For example, today Draco was running
late. Harry was used to him arriving at precisely 6:00 P.M. Then he and Harry
would order something to eat, and they would chat a little about trivial
things.

But it was 8:00 P.M. already and there was no sign of Draco. Harry grunted,
telling himself not to care. But he did care. It was Friday. Draco hadn’t said
anything about staying for the weekend. Perhaps he had gone out with Bill and
hadn’t bothered to tell Harry. That thought made him jealous. He clenched his
fists, exasperated.

“What are you doing?” asked Mrs. Black staring at him reprovingly.

Harry stopped pacing and raised an eyebrow. “It’s none of your business.”

She snorted. “You really disappoint me…”

Harry sent her a cross look. “Was there a moment when I didn’t disappoint
you?”

She looked up thoughtfully, and then said, “No.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Then shut up.”

Harry began to pace in the corridor again, and from time to time he looked at
his watch and sighed. Mrs. Black shook her head disapprovingly. She knew exactly
what was going on.

“He’s late, isn’t he?” she asked, not sure why she was bothering. “The
young Malfoy always comes home at 6:00 P.M., but it’s almost 8:15 and still no
sign of him. And you, stupid half-blood, don’t have his phone number. What if
something happened to him? The poor kid might be all alone outside, wounded. In
this cruel world, you never know. And he chose such a horrible profession!
Auror!” she snorted. “He could have been great! A true member of aristocracy
never works! They make those beneath them do the work. Clearly, Narcissa
didn’t raise Draco properly. Why does he have to work? He’s rich! Look at
you! You’re lower than him and yet you do nothing all day. You should be
working, not him!”

Harry glared at her, wondering if he should respond to her rudeness. In the end
he decided to ignore her. But Mrs. Black didn’t stay quiet.

“Why don’t you go after him? Isn’t that mudblood his partner? Why don’t
you call her?”

Harry looked at her, astonished to hear her talking about phone calls. Mrs.
Black hated everything muggle-related. When Harry had first moved in, she had
complained all the time about a phone line being installed in her ancient house.
She had called him a blasphemer many times after that.

Another thing that surprised Harry was her suggestion that he call Hermione. He
had thought about that, but he didn’t want Hermione thinking stupid things.
They had already argued enough that week. If he called her asking about Draco,
she would wonder why he wanted to know. Harry didn’t want to give her ideas.
He didn’t want Fred and Hermione thinking that their plan was working.

But what had astonished him the most was Mrs. Black. It was obvious that she was
worried about Draco’s whereabouts, too. Apparently, Harry wasn’t the only
one who had gotten used to Draco.

“You like him!” Harry said as if he had discovered something that would
change the history of the world. At the time he wasn’t aware of the fact that
his sentence was an accusation to himself.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Mrs. Black blushed. Harry didn’t know paintings
could blush. He was fascinated by it. “I just think that it isn’t too late
for him to change his mind and go back to his Manor. He’s a pure blood and a
Malfoy. I still have faith in him. I’ve heard through the grapevine that
Narcissa wants him back.”

Harry stood still at the news. “How would you know something like that?”

Mrs. Black smiled briskly. “Paintings talk, Potter…”

Harry was about to reply when he heard a knock on the front door. He made his
way to the door quickly, but opened it calmly after confirming that it was
Draco. In that brief moment, he wondered why he hadn’t given Draco a spare
key. Then he realised that if he did that, Hermione would be thrilled. Harry
didn’t want to give her that satisfaction.

He stared at Draco holding his urge to demand explanations about his lateness,
and trying to look as indifferent as possible. But he almost had a heart attack
when he saw that the right side of the Draco’s face was dripping blood.

“What happened? Where were you? Why are you bleeding?” Harry asked hastily.

Draco entered the house slowly. He was holding a handkerchief that was soaked in
blood. “It comes with the job,” Draco sneered. “I’m always telling
Hermione to stop doing favours for everybody, but she doesn’t listen! And
this,” Draco pointed at his eyebrow, moodily. “This is the result of her
damn obsession with work!”

Draco made his way to the stairs, ignoring both Harry and Mrs. Black. He kept
grunting impolite things all the way to his room.

“What are you doing standing here?” Mrs. Black asked. “Go after him!”

Harry sent her an astonished look before following Draco, not sure of what to
do.

“Why didn’t you go to St. Mungo’s?” Harry asked.

Draco stopped in the middle of the corridor, surprised to see Harry by his side.
“I don’t like St. Mungo’s. Besides, this is nothing.”

“You are fucking bleeding! I’m surprised Hermione didn’t send you straight
to the hospital!”

Draco shrugged. “It’s just a small cut. It won’t kill me. And Hermione,
that bloody…” Draco took a deep breath and then continued, “She wasn’t
with me. It’s so bloody typical of her! Someone from the Improper Use of Magic
Office asks her to check on something, and since she’s busy with thousands of
other tasks that are from other departments, she sends me!” Draco was so
irritated that Harry thought he saw steam coming out of his ears. “And since
I’m an idiot and can’t say no to her, I always go! A two-year-old kid is a
bloody menace, Potter. Oh, yeah, it was a very easy mission indeed. Just to
check on some muggle artefact that had been enchanted by some evil-minded
wizard. Evil-minded… Hah! I had to go to a muggle house, and the woman who
answered the door handed me her little brat while she took care of the other
one. And the damn pest hit me with some sharp toy! I’m so pissed right now! If
Hermione calls, tell her that I’m dead and that she’s responsible for it.
Better yet, tell her that one of my best robes is ruined, and that she’s going
to pay for it!”

Draco strode away. Harry bit his lower lip to suppress his laughter. He was
still worried about Draco, but he couldn’t help finding the whole episode
funny. He could only imagine the look of horror in Draco’s eyes when the woman
made him hold a child in his arms. The image of a little kid hitting Draco was
even funnier, and a chuckle escaped Harry’s lips. There he was, thinking that
something dreadful had happened to Draco, when in fact Draco had been attacked
by a two-year-old.

“Don’t laugh!” Draco shouted, entering his room and slamming the door
furiously.

Still smiling, Harry went to his own room, got his first aid kit and then went
to Draco’s room. The door was locked. Wondering why he bothered in the first
place, Harry muttered an unlocking spell and entered the room. The kit slipped
to the floor when he saw Draco standing in the middle of the room half-naked.

They stared at each other quietly for a long time. Harry gulped. He couldn’t
take his eyes off Draco’s bare chest. Harry wondered if Draco shaved it. It
was impossible for someone to be so bloody perfect. Harry wasn’t hairy, but he
did have a little hair in the middle of his chest. Draco only had a small trace
of blond hair above his navel that disappeared underneath his jeans. It was like
an invitation, an arrow pointing to the big prize. It tempted Harry to take a
closer look. Harry felt his mouth dry. His hands were itching to touch Draco.
But a drop of blood falling from Draco’s face to the tapestry took him out of
his trance.

Harry knelt down to take the kit, but Draco got it first.

“Is this for me?” Draco asked in a whisper.

Harry just nodded, because he couldn’t trust his voice to speak. He couldn’t
understand what was happening to him. That lump stuck in his throat was annoying
him. Irritated, he snatched the kit from Draco’s hand and pushed Draco to the
bed. The blond opened his mouth to complain, clearly upset, but Harry shushed
him with one look. Then he opened up the kit and pulled out a few items from it.
He cleaned up Draco’s bleeding eyebrow and face, all the while aware of their
closeness and how it made him feel.

Harry’s hand trembled slightly when it first came in touch with Draco’s
skin, but he told himself to get a grip. He was surprised at how soft Draco was
to touch, and just for a second Harry let his fingers caress him. He thought he
heard Draco purr, but he wasn’t so sure. His gaze met Draco’s, and what he
saw in his eyes made him shiver. Draco had called Harry bony and had stated more
than once that he would never sleep with Harry, but Harry was certain that the
sparkle he was now seeing in Draco’s eyes was desire.

Harry almost moaned as his eyes fell upon Draco’s parted lips. He felt out of
breath as the memory of their kiss came back to him. Telling himself to come
back to earth, Harry took out his wand and touched the cut on Draco’s eyebrow.
The cut was very small, so Harry didn’t think it would be a problem to heal it
with magic. With so many nights spent with Madam Pomfrey, Harry had learned one
or two things from her. He muttered a spell and then the cut healed itself
without leaving a scar. Harry felt proud of himself. His thumb stroked Draco’s
eyebrow gently.

“Done,” he said, putting the items he used back into the kit, and making
everything else disappear with a flick of his wand.

“Thanks,” Draco said with a strange low voice. “I… I had no idea you
knew healing magic.”

Harry smiled at Draco’s stunned expression. Draco wasn’t the first to be
surprised by Harry’s ability to heal.

“I know a few things,” Harry explained. “I spent so much time in the
Hospital Wing that I ended up learning the basics from Madam Pomfrey.”

“You clearly have a gift for it,” Draco said, touching his eyebrow and
finding it normal again. “You’re truly a mystery, Potter.”

“Did you at least recover the object that was being improperly used by
muggles?” Harry asked.

Draco nodded. “Yeah, it turned out to be a singing tea cup. It was only
dangerous to my ears! It was so annoying. The mother bought it in a muggle joke
shop for her kids. They loved the damn thing. She thought the cup was
electronic!”

“And how did you get it back?”

“Using my charm, of course,” Draco sneered. “Nobody can resist me.”

Harry certainly believed in that. He himself was having a hard time resisting
Draco. But being attracted to another man was too disturbing for him. He
didn’t know how to deal with it. He didn’t know how to act or what to do. He
wasn’t so innocent that he didn’t know what sex could be like between the
two of them. But the thought of it terrified him.

“What do you want to eat?” he asked hastily to keep his thoughts away from
improper things. “It’s on me.”

Draco seemed surprised by his question. “Alas! You’re being so nice I’m
beginning to think that this is a dream. Are you really the same Harry Potter
that keeps telling me off all the time? I know you’ve behaved nicer than usual
this week, but this is too much. First you take care of me, now you’re buying
me dinner?”

Harry flushed slightly. “Don’t push it.”

“I can’t help it. You’re like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.”

Harry made a face. “Just shut up and tell me what you want to eat before I
change my mind.”

“Why can’t I enjoy your good mood a little bit? Oh, I get it!” Draco
sneered. “You’re happy because I was attacked by a kid and you thought it
was amusing, right? You just can’t miss a chance to make of fun of me, can
you? I honestly think that…” Draco’s voice vanished when he noticed
Harry’s fuming eyes. “Ok! No stupid jokes then. How about pasta? I know a
very good restaurant…”

“I know one too,” Harry said, cutting him off. “Leave the rest to me.”

Draco shrugged. “Ok. Although I do have a better taste for food than you As a
matter of fact, my tastes are better than yours in everything, Potter. Clothes,
furniture, books, shoes, perfumes…”

“You really like to piss me off, don’t you?” Harry said, upset.

“I’m like you, Potter.” Draco smiled sweetly. “I just can’t help
it.”

Harry clenched his fist. He wanted to be nice to Draco, but the blond didn’t
make things easy for him. He took a deep breath to calm down and then looked at
Draco again. The blond looked so beautiful with only his jeans that it took his
breath away. Harry didn’t think his body would react so strongly to the mere
sight of Draco’s naked chest. He wondered what it would be like if Draco was
totally naked.

“You’re staring at me, Potter. You’ve been doing that a lot lately,”
Draco said thoughtfully.

Harry gulped. “I’m not.”

Draco sneered. “Could it be that you’re attracted to me?”

“Hell will freeze over when I find myself attracted to you,” Harry stated.
But he knew he was lying blatantly. He couldn’t help to think that hell had
frozen over when they were working together for the Order. He felt horrified at
the thought.

“Whatever,” Draco shrugged. He suddenly looked very tired.

Harry felt the strange need to come closer and comfort Draco. The same questions
that had been chasing him all week came back to him. What had happened when
Draco had come to visit him in St. Mungo’s? What had happened to Draco after
he left the Malfoy Manor? More importantly, was Harry’s confusion caused by
their bond? Draco could answer most of his questions, but every time Harry tried
to ask him something, he found himself voiceless.

He stared at Draco and then exclaimed, “What the hell do you think you’re
doing?”

Draco was calmly unzipping his jeans and taking them off. Harry went stiff, in
more than one way. The green eyes travelled down Draco’s body involuntarily,
making him swallow hard. Draco’s underwear was made of cotton and was probably
very soft to touch, but it wasn’t the way Harry had imagined. Harry had
thought of Draco as a man who wore something more daring and provocative, like
the finest silk. Cotton seemed so ordinary for a man like Draco. But the
ordinary underwear was just as provocative, if not more.

“I’m going to take a shower,” Draco explained as he opened up the closet
and took out a black T-shirt, white shorts and a pair of blue jeans. “I asked
you to leave twice, but you seemed to be spacing out, so… I don’t have all
night. I figured you wouldn’t mind me undressing in front of you. After all,
we are both men. It isn’t as if you never saw a man naked.”

Draco was right, except for one tiny little detail. Harry had never seen Draco
naked. His breath quickened. He couldn’t understand what was happening to him.
Draco walked towards him, preoccupied.

“Potter? Are you ok? You look so flushed all of a sudden. Are you ill?”
Draco tried to touch Harry’s forehead, but Harry jumped back and almost
stumbled. Draco frowned. “You still haven’t got over the fact that I’m
gay, have you?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Harry said, his heart pounding like crazy. He didn’t
care about Draco. The problem was him. He was beginning to think that he was
gay, and he certainly didn’t know how to get over that. “Just take your
shower. I’ll call the restaurant.” Harry turned to leave clumsily, almost
hitting his face on the wall.

When he was finally gone, Draco bit his lower lip, his hands on his waist.

“You drive me insane, Potter! What was that all about?” Draco asked himself.



                                Kapitel 19: 19.
                                ---------------


19.
"Go easy on the chocolate, Draco. You know how sick you were the last time you
ate too much of it," warned Bill.

Draco shrugged and took a big bite from one of Honeydukes finest chocolate bars.
It was his third bar already. No wonder Bill was calling it to his attention.
Draco's stomach didn't have a good tolerance for chocolate. He would probably
feel sick later, but right now he couldn't care less. Chocolate was the only
thing that calmed him down when he was feeling anxious and distressed. And
feeling anxious and distressed had become a habit now that he was living with
Harry.

Draco had never met anyone in his life who could get under his skin like Harry.
Draco had always imagined Harry to be a simple guy, but Harry was turning out to
be pretty complicated. Harry's behaviour had improved that week, Draco couldn't
deny that. But Harry's moody nature was hard to overcome.

As if Harry's difficult temper wasn't enough, Draco had had to deal with his
cute side too. And Harry's cuteness was even harder to deal with. Just when
Draco thought he was getting over Harry, the brunet did something that took him
by surprise and completely knocked him off his feet.

With an angry sigh, Draco took another bite from the chocolate bar as memories
of the previous week overtook him. Draco couldn't forget about the way Harry had
agreed to walk with him in Grimmauld Park and how the brunet had patiently
waited for Draco in the hallway every morning. Harry had also waited for Draco
for dinner, and even though they didn't talk much, they managed to engage in
polite conversation.

When Harry threw tantrums at Draco, he quickly apologised by telling Draco
something personal about himself. Draco now knew everything about Harry's fourth
year at school and the way he had felt during the Triwizard Tournament after
Cedric's death. Draco had also heard Harry tell him about his fifth year and the
things he had gone through with the horrible Umbridge. Draco was shocked at the
way she had tortured Harry – even if at the time he would have found it very
amusing and well done.

Draco also didn't have good memories of his fifth year. It was true that he had
perfected his spoiled-brat façade back then, but it had all been an act. Well,
most of it anyway. He had enjoyed being a Prefect. He had enjoyed having such
power over the students. And he had enjoyed Umbridge's actions. But it was in
his fifth year that he had started to feel restless about himself, and he had
questioned his father's motives. To everybody he was the same as ever, but
inside he was falling apart.

His sixth and seventh years had been unbearable. In his sixth year, he had felt
as if nothing would ever be right again. Draco had slept with a Slytherin boy
and had liked it. He had gone through the denial and self-hatred. He had tried
to suffocate that obnoxious side of him, only to realise that it was impossible.
He had picked on Harry mercilessly; after all, Harry had always been his
favourite scapegoat. And a year later – the same year he was allowed to join
the Order – he had found himself deeply in love with the Boy-Who-Lived.

He didn't tell those things to Harry though. Some things were better left
unsaid. He knew Harry wanted to know about Draco's past. He could sense Harry's
curiosity in the way the green eyes looked at him expectantly. But Draco
couldn't voice his past worries and sufferings. It was too hard for him. He had
been such a brat back then. He knew he had deserved what had happened to him
next. But knowing that didn't make him feel any better. And he hated to remember
how weak and pathetic he had become.

But sometimes, when Harry looked so adorable, Draco felt like pouring his heart
out. And those were the times Draco hated Harry the most, because then he just
couldn't resist Harry. Like yesterday. Harry had been so tempting yesterday as
he took care of Draco's wound that Draco had found it very hard to hold back his
desire. For a moment there, he had been certain that the sparkle he had spotted
in Harry's eyes was lust. More than once Draco had caught Harry staring at him
with such intensity that it had made him unbalanced, but when Draco was ready to
make his move, Harry had drawn back. Draco tried not to care, but he was
frustrated. He didn't understand Harry's attitude. In fact, he didn't understand
Harry at all.

After spending a month with Harry, Draco would be the one in need of a St.
Mungo's psychiatrist.

"Draco?"

Draco, who was lying on Bill's couch, looked up to stare at his boyfriend. He
felt guilty as his eyes met Bill's. Draco shouldn't be thinking about Harry. He
only met Bill on weekends. They were supposed to be enjoying their time
together. But Draco's thoughts kept going back to Harry and the way the brunet
had stroked his face tenderly after cleaning Draco's cut. Or the way Harry had
stared at him lustfully when Draco had undressed in front of him.

"Draco!"

Draco blinked, confused. "What?"

Bill sat beside Draco, took the unfinished chocolate bar from Draco's hand and
leaned forward to steal a kiss. Caught by surprise, Draco took a while to react.
And just when he started to kiss Bill back, the redhead parted their lips with a
frown.

"Did you kiss him again?" Bill asked crossly.

That was news to Draco. He had never seen Bill lose his temper. In fact, Bill
was always so calm that Draco had doubted his bloodline. After all, all the
Weasleys were hot-tempered. Today Draco was seeing how much of a Weasley Bill
really was.

"Or did you do something else?" Bill pressed on. "Why did you come here if you
can't stop thinking about him?"

Normally, Draco would have smirked at Bill and told him to stop acting so
ridiculous. He hated this kind of discussion. Draco didn't like displays of
jealousy, and Bill knew that very well. So if Bill was disregarding Draco's
aversion for these kinds of confrontations, then it meant that the redhead was
really angry. Draco knew that Bill wouldn't like it if he smirked, so he decided
to answer him seriously, "For your information, I didn't kiss him that time.
Well, I did, but it was just a stupid challenge. It didn't mean anything. And
nothing happened this time."

Bill frowned. "You could barely look at me afterwards, Draco! How can you say it
didn't mean anything?"

Draco held the urge to roll his eyes. Instead, he smiled sweetly. He knew his
smile was hard to resist. "You look cute when you're jealous."

That did the trick. Bill's angry face softened a little. "Don't try to put me
off, blondie."

Draco pulled Bill on top of him and stroked the red hair softly. He loved
burying his fingers in Bill's long hair. "Nothing happened this week, I swear.
In fact, Potter was rather boring. I'm all yours." Bill shot him an angry look
and Draco cocked his head. "I'm serious. Don't believe me?" Draco captured
Bill's lips in a deep kiss. "Then I'll have to prove it to you."

Their foreplay began slowly. Bill's hand slipped down Draco's navel and pulled
his shirt up. Draco closed his eyes and sighed softly as Bill kissed his belly
and made his way down. His jeans were unzipped and his fingers dishevelled
Bill's hair. Draco closed his eyes. And then it happened. He started to remember
the way he had felt when he had pinned Harry's hands on the floor during their
last big fight. His body fired up at the memory of a helpless Harry Potter lying
under him, at his mercy. Draco shut his eyes and pleaded for the image to go
away. He couldn't do this to Bill. It wasn't fair to both of them.

The image lingered, though. Draco bit his lower lip hard and buried his face in
his hands. His mixed-up emotions turned him off immediately. Bill raised his
head to look at him.

"Draco? What's wrong?" Bill gently took Draco's hands away from his face and
stared at him worriedly. "Are you feeling sick? I told you not to eat so much
chocolate." Bill's intonation wasn't of an angry jealous guy anymore. He did
sound very concerned about Draco.

Draco smiled at Bill. "I guess you were right. I am feeling a bit sick." It
wasn't a lie. He wasn't feeling well, but it wasn't just the chocolate's fault.
It was Harry's.

Bill kissed the tip of his nose softly and then said, "I'll get you some
medicine."

"No, you don't have to. Just stay here with me. I'm sure it will pass."

"You always need your medicine."

Draco pouted. "I'm telling you I don't need it."

"Let me take care of you."

"I'm not a baby, Bill. Honestly… The problem is that you spoil me too much.
Not that I don't like it, but when I tell you something, could you please not
argue with me?"

"I'm not arguing with you!"

"Yes, you are," said Draco moodily, crossing his arms. He then realised that he
was behaving like a child. No wonder Bill treated him like one. He was about to
apologise and cover Bill with kisses, when an owl came through the open window,
dropped a letter on Draco's head and then flew away. Draco cursed the bird as he
took the letter in his hands. He froze as he recognised his mother's handwriting
next to the Malfoy crest.

He didn't want to hear anything about his family anymore. He was through with
them. Nothing good could come out of Narcissa or Lucius' letters. Draco had
learned that the first time he had received a letter from Lucius right after his
father had been imprisoned again, and then from his mother telling him what a
disgrace Draco was.

Draco wanted to rip this letter up into tiny little pieces, just like he had
done with the other two letters Narcissa had sent him that week. But Bill
snatched the letter away from him before he could have the pleasure of
destroying it.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked angrily.

"No, what are you doing?" Bill knew he was stepping into dangerous territory
here, but he couldn't help it. He was more than aware of the fact that Draco
hated when Bill meddled in his problems. But he was tired of Draco's cold
attitude. If they were a couple, they should share everything, the good and the
bad sides of life. And since Harry was now a threat, Bill was feeling very
distraught about everything; hence he was now having the courage to confront
Draco. "Isn't this your mother's? How can you just rip it up?"

Draco clenched his fists, clearly upset. "This is none of your concern!"

"Oh, isn't it? Aren't we having a relationship now?" Bill asked seriously. "When
two people are having a relationship, they share everything, Draco. I'm here for
you. Why can't you just let me in?"

Draco stood up and turned his back on him. "You know I have a problem with
intimacy. I don't know how to open up my heart. I was taught to keep my feelings
and thoughts to myself. I can't change my habits just like that!" Draco turned
to face Bill. "You told me you understood that about me. Were you lying? This is
so typical, isn't it? First step in a successful seduction plan: Lie about your
true intentions; make the other person believe that they are understood. You
only told me you were ok with the way I was because you wanted to get into my
pants! Now you suddenly want to change the rules of the game!"

"Is this what it is for you? A game? Do you think our relationship is a game?
Well, things don't work that way, Draco!" Bill exclaimed. "I respected your
feelings, as I do now. But back then I was just giving you the space you needed.
I was trying to build your confidence in me. I thought that by now you would
trust me enough to tell me what's in your heart. People grow with relationships.
They don't keep hiding things from each other forever. That's not what a
relationship is about. And I want to be a part of your life, if only you'd let
me in!"

Bill's words cut Draco deeply. He knew Bill was right, but he wasn't ready to
tell Bill everything. He didn't know how to do it. It was too scary. If Draco
let Bill in, there was no turning back.

Draco sighed with the weight of the world on his shoulders. "I'm not ready to
tell you all the things you want to hear, Bill. All I can say for now is this:
my mother is a bitch. She isn't like yours at all. Narcissa would rather see me
dead than living the way I have been. She will only love me if I become the man
she wants me to be. The thing about my family is that love is just very
expensive merchandise, but merchandise nonetheless. So forgive me if I don't
want to hear any news about that sick woman, because nothing good can come out
of her fucking letter!" Draco shouted.

Now Draco was definitely feeling sick. He ran to the bathroom with one hand over
his month and slammed the door, leaving a very tired Bill in the living room.

Bill didn't know how to make things right for Draco, but he could at least be
the boyfriend Draco expected him to be. He slowly walked towards his room, took
out a small bottle from his bedside table and then knocked on the bathroom's
door. He opened it carefully, not sure what he would find in there.

Draco was sitting next to the toilet, his face as white as a sheet. Bill knelt
down beside him and gave him the small bottle quietly. Draco drank the purple
liquid gradually until there was nothing left. Then he looked at Bill with a
saddened face.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. Bill knew how hard it was for someone like Draco to
show his weakness so openly. The redhead smiled at Draco and kissed his
forehead.

"I'm sorry, too."

Draco got up and rinsed his mouth. After taking the potion, he was feeling a lot
better. Bill stood behind him quietly. Draco's eyes met his through the mirror
on the wall. Bill looked so handsome. Of all the Weasleys, Bill was the
strongest. His body was well built; his hair was red silk cascading down his
back. He was also the tallest. Draco wasn't short, but next to Bill he felt
small. Bill also had the same taste in clothing as Draco. They both liked only
the best.

But their similarities ended there. Bill's personality was calm and quiet. Draco
was the opposite. He picked on Harry for being so edgy, but Draco was the same.
Bill had infinite patience with Draco. This was the first time Bill had
questioned Draco since they had started going out. Draco had the feeling that
Bill's sudden outburst had to do with the fact that Draco was spending too much
time with Harry.

Bill was the perfect boyfriend. And Draco shouldn't get angry with him just
because Bill wanted to get closer to him. Bill was right. Draco should trust
him. But old habits die hard.

Draco wanted to stop being so stupid, turn around and let Bill make love to him,
but this time he couldn't take the initiative. Harry was still on his mind,
haunting him. He was afraid of kissing Bill. He didn't want his thoughts to
switch to Harry while he was with Bill.

He was so frustrated. Those two weeks he had spent with Harry had only showed
him how wrong they were for each other. But that knowledge didn't change the
fact that his heart still beat faster when Harry was near him.

Bill hugged him from behind and Draco rested his head on Bill's chest. The blond
enlaced his fingers in Bill's and sighed. Why wasn't Bill enough for him? Was
his father right about Draco? Was Draco incapable of love?

"Are you feeling better now?" Bill asked.

Draco felt a pang in his heart, but he smiled feebly. "Yes, I am. Let's go out
tonight."



                                Kapitel 20: 20.
                                ---------------


20.
Harry always felt restless Saturday nights, and usually went out to have a few
drinks and find someone to take home. Though he didn’t feel like having
company this Saturday, he was feeling particularly impatient. So he grabbed a
bottle of vodka and fought for a minute against the urge to drink it, but his
need for relief got the best of him. He drank enough to feel dizzy and
light-headed, and next thing he knew he was sitting under Mrs. Black’s
painting and they were both laughing their hearts out.

Harry didn’t know paintings could get drunk, but somehow Mrs. Black had
snatched a bottle of bourbon from another painting and had drunk half of it.
Harry couldn’t stop laughing when he saw her. She had a goofy smile on her
lips, and her fat cheeks were all red.

“Oh, just… hic! Shut… hic… your filthyth… moodybloody… hic…
mouth!” she shouted at Harry. But then he made a joke and she started laughing
too. “Oh, stop it!” she said, falling to the side of the painting and
vanishing for a few seconds. She came back with her hair all dishevelled and she
couldn’t stop laughing.

“You’re funny when you’re drunk,” Harry pointed out, beaming stupidly.
“Maybe I should ask someone to paint booze into your picture!”

She nodded at the idea. “Well, I always liked to drink… socially, I mean.”
She made a face. “After a certain age… hic! After a certain age, a good
bottle of bourbon is all that matters, especially for a painting that will live
forever on a wall... I mean, what did I accomplish in life? Nothing! My whole
family is dead. There’s a half-blood living in my house… I had a queer son,
a son that was my pride and joy… hic! And I think the other one was a queer
too. I mean, he had a very odd relationship with that werewolf…”

Harry frowned. “Do you think so? They were just friends, weren’t they?”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, please! Sirius had a few girlfriends, but I know –
and a mother knows these things – that…”

“You were a horrible mother! How could you tell?”

“Don’t interrupt me, half-blood. I’m old! Hic!” she paused to drink some
more. “Have some respect for the elderly. But anyway, as I was saying, Sirius
had girlfriends, but he preferred to be with the werewolf. The girls never
lasted too long, but the werewolf was always with him, and it was everything he
cared about,” she said thoughtfully.

“Remus wasn’t an it! He was a very fine man. In fact,” Harry raised the
bottle in the air. “He was the best man I’ve ever met. So I’ll drink to
Remus!” Harry took a sip from the vodka. “And even if they were gay, I
don’t care. I liked them both.” He closed his eyes sadly. “I hope they are
together now.”

“In hell,” Mrs. Black pointed out.

“Not in hell!” Harry exclaimed, upset. “You are in hell, you and the rest
of your twisted family. Sirius and Remus are in heaven with my parents.”

“Oh, hand me a tissue. I’m going to cry!” she sneered.

Harry looked up and showed her a finger. She pretended to be outraged.

“You know…” he began, pointing his finger at her. “I think… That
you’re the most horrible person I know. I’ve never met anyone as bad as you,
with the exception of Voldemort, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange and…
and… Wormtail, hell rest their souls.”

She smiled and pushed out her big breasts proudly. “Do you really think
so?”

“Yes.” Harry took another sip from the bottle. “You’re just
horrible.”

“Why, thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.”

Harry wrinkled his nose. “I know.” They stayed quiet for a moment, and then
Harry said, “Draco would love to know that Sirius was gay.”

“Oh, so it’s Draco now…” she provoked him. Harry grunted something
impolite. “Maybe you are a sissy too! Isn’t it wonderful? My whole life I
was surrounded by sissy men! Even my husband! Hahahahahaha!” And she fell to
the right side of the painting, coming back a while later with her hand on her
stomach. “He… hahaha! He was also a good for nothing! This house is cursed!
All men who step in here become gay! Hahahahaha!”

Harry didn’t find it so amusing, but then he smiled. “Your husband?”

She nodded. Her face was so red that Harry thought it would explode. “He had
such a funny walk!” she went on. “And such a pompous way of talking!
Hahahaha! Please, dear, don’t talk nonsense in front of our beloved guests.”
she intoned, impersonating her husband’s voice and Harry cackled. “Beloved
guests? Since when are guests beloved? Hahahaha! Maybe because the beloved guest
was his lover!”

“So I guess I’m gay, too,” Harry said after regaining his breath.

“The way you look at him… Yep. Definitely gay,” she pointed out. “He’s
very handsome, so I don’t really blame you… And he’s a good kid… But
don’t tell him I said that.” She leaned her head against the frame and dozed
off.

“He is handsome, isn’t he?” Harry said to himself. “So handsome that it
takes my breath away…” He put the bottle aside with a sigh. He had had
enough to drink. Now he just wanted his bed. He climbed the stairs slowly and
when he got to his room, he wondered if he should call one of the twin girls to
keep him company. But he knew there was just one person he wanted in bed with
him. It was amazing how clear his feelings were when he was drunk. For example,
if Draco came through his door right now, Harry would give himself eagerly to
him.

The alcohol made Harry feel liberated from all of his fears and idiosyncrasies.
He caught himself thinking about Draco. He didn’t want Draco to sleep with
Bill, not tonight. He wanted Draco to come home and make love to him. Today he
was willing to allow Draco to do anything he wanted. Harry wouldn’t put up a
fight. He would surrender. He was ready to give in to his most intimate desires.
What was the point of denying that he wanted Draco? Harry could have hidden his
true feelings in the past – even from himself – but he couldn’t hide it
now, not when Draco kept parading in front of him every day with his perfect
body, hair, smile… just… everything.

He lusted for his nemesis, and perhaps the strong attraction Harry felt for
Draco was due to the scandal it would cause. Everything forbidden was
desirable.

Harry lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He was flustered. He would have
freaked out if he were sober. He would have denied those feelings and put them
aside. It was wrong to desire Draco. He had never felt any attraction towards
other men. Draco was an exception. Perhaps it was just a phase, a curiosity.
Perhaps it would pass once he had had Draco. Harry didn’t know. His mixed-up
feelings were driving him crazy.

He closed his eyes and Draco appeared in his thoughts, wearing nothing but
ordinary white underwear, like a sexy advertisement. The blond was staring at
him mischievously, daring him to resist. In Harry’s mind, Draco walked slowly
towards him and sat on top of him, pinning Harry’s hands to the mattress.
Harry struggled to break free, but Draco knew it was just an act. The blond
smirked and licked his lips. Harry moaned softly. He threw his head back as
Draco kissed his exposed neck, and cried out lustily when he felt Draco’s
teeth biting it.

Imaginary Draco rocked his body and Harry was instantly hard. The little
self-control he had went out the window. Harry stood up and hurriedly took off
his clothes. His body was on fire. He lay back in bed, fully naked, and
Draco’s imaginary hands followed his own as he caressed his body.

“Fuck!” Harry exclaimed. Even though he was inexperienced with other men, he
knew what felt good. He stroked himself as he imagined Draco doing it with his
own hands and then with his tongue. He moaned, desperate to feel the real thing.
“Draco…ah…ah…”

His strokes quickened. This was so wrong and yet felt so good.

“Ah… Draco…”

“Tell me you want me,” imaginary Draco whispered in his ear.

“No…” Harry muttered.

“Tell me or I’ll stop. Tell me, Harry. Don’t be afraid. I feel the same
way.”

“Ah…” Harry bit his lower lip hard. “I… want you. I want you.”

“Tell what exactly what you want from me,” Draco demanded.

“I want you to fuck me,” Harry said, his eyes lost in a daze.

Harry felt as if those words set him free. He imagined what it would be like to
have the real Draco on top of him, rubbing his body against Harry. He felt the
excitement run through him, and he trembled with pleasure.

“I’m screwed,” he muttered after his body cooled down.

He went to the bathroom to clean himself up and avoided looking at himself in
the mirror. He was feeling terribly guilty, like he had committed a sin. He told
himself to stop being an idiot. What did it matter if he had fallen in love with
another man? Like Fred had said before, there was no label when it came to
loving someone.

But he still felt guilty. He didn’t know if one man could really love another.
He didn’t know if this love could last. Perhaps it was just lust that once
satiated, would go away. Then Harry would return to his normal – heterosexual
– self.

He heard the phone ringing. He looked at his watch and frowned. It was past
midnight. There were only two people who dared to call Harry whenever they felt
like it: Fred and Hermione. He picked up the phone in a very bad mood, the
effects of alcohol completely gone by now.

“What?” he asked sternly.

“Hey, mate! What’s with the bad mood? Were you sleeping? On a Saturday
night? You are the most pathetic human being I’ve ever come across!” Fred
exclaimed from the other side of the line. “I’m Apparating right in front of
your house. Don’t think, just put on some clothes and open the door for me. We
are going out. I won’t accept no for an answer! Don’t even try it. I’ll
drag you out if I have to, and you know I mean it. I’ll give you five minutes.
All right, fifteen. I have… erm… someone on top of me right now… So just
be ready, Harry! Bye!”

Fred hung up and Harry kept staring at the telephone with a horrified
expression. He didn’t want to go out, but when it came to Fred, one might as
well do as he said or there would be hell to pay.



                                Kapitel 21: 21.
                                ---------------


21.
“Did you call him? What did he say?” asked Hermione looking expectantly at
Fred and ignoring the fact that he was making out with someone.

Fred really had no shame whatsoever, but that was something Hermione was used to
at this point. Instead of being pissed off, she took her time to guess who
Fred’s new plaything was. From what Hermione could see, the boy had delicate
features, very soft hair and a pretty face. He was exactly Fred’s type. He
looked also very familiar. She opened her eyes wide and exclaimed, “Oh, my
God! It’s…”

“Dennis Creevey,” Ron said in her ears, pointing at the boy on Fred’s
lap.

Hermione was shocked. “Isn’t he too young to be Fred’s new catch?”

“He’s eighteen. Don’t go there with Fred or he’ll hex you. My mum
already lectured him enough,” Ron said. “Let’s go to the balcony. The
music is too loud in here!”

She nodded, but before she left with Ron, she smacked Fred’s head. He
leisurely parted his lips from Dennis’ and stared at her, annoyed.
“What?”

She wrinkled her nose. “Did you call him? Is he coming?”

“Yes! Everything is being taken care of,” Fred beamed. He squeezed Dennis’
ass. The young man in his lap flushed and purred. Hermione crossed her arms and
rolled her eyes. If only Mrs. Weasley could see her son now. Noticing her scary
expression, Fred quickly said, “I’ll get to him, don’t worry. He’ll be
here. Things will go as planned.”

“Good. Because Draco is already here,” she said, pointing out a table at the
other side of the room where Draco was sitting with Bill.

Fred winked at her. “Don’t worry.”

Hermione felt Ron’s hands touching her waist and squeezing it gently but
firmly. “What are you two plotting now?”

Fred and Hermione answered together with a shrug, “Nothing!”

Ron looked at them doubtfully. “You’d better be serious this time. Harry
almost killed me because of you two! He was really angry about Malfoy’s
presence in his house. I know you think they look good together, but for
Merlin’s sake! Harry is straight! And that damn blond bimbo is going out with
Bill. So could you two just stop playing with other people’s lives?”

Fred waved his hand. “Just go away, Ron. Can’t you see I’m busy?”

Ron’s face went red with anger. “Fred…”

“We’re just lending a hand to destiny,” Fred stated. Dennis shyly rested
his head on his shoulder and kissed his neck. Fred closed his eyes in ecstasy.
Ron and Hermione flushed. Fred grinned at them. “If you’d excuse me, I have
unfinished business to attend to.” And he went back to kissing Dennis.

“Hermione, please tell me you’re not plotting anything,” Ron pleaded.
“Harry is going to kill me for real this time! I expected something like this
from Fred, but not from you! Harry says I can’t control you and he’s totally
right…”

Hermione shot him a murderous look. “I don’t need anyone to control me.
Harry is such an idiot.”

“You’re playing with his life. I think he has a right to be upset.”

“Whose side are you on?” she asked threateningly.

Ron sighed. “Yours?”

She smiled sweetly. “That’s right.” And she kissed him as a reward.

Scintillation was Fred’s favourite nightclub. It was the only one that allowed
all kinds of people, muggles and wizards. The music was great, playing only the
best music in the muggle and wizard industry. The environment was modern and
carefree, and the fun could go all night long. Draco usually liked it too, but
tonight he didn’t seem like his usual self. His feelings for Harry were
bothering him too much. There was a tension in the air between him and Bill.
They hadn’t had sex in a while. And it wasn’t as if Draco didn’t want to
have sex with Bill. It was just that he couldn’t. His fantasies about Harry
always got in the way.

He felt Bill’s hand on his and smiled feebly. Draco wanted to relax, but
somehow couldn’t. He thought that by going out he would be able to chill out
and cool his head down, but he was beginning to understand what this was really
about. It was about running away from his true feelings. He was terrified of
going to bed with Bill while thinking about Harry. And thinking about Harry was
all that he ever did when he was with Bill. That was why he had accepted
Fred’s invitation to come to Scintillation. He couldn’t see Fred anywhere
though.

While Bill ordered their drinks, Draco scanned the room in search for familiar
faces. There was an odd commotion a few feet away. A bunch of angry men seemed
to be fighting for the attention of a blonde woman. Draco thought it was
amusing, but his smile died away when he watched the blonde turn around, stare
right at his table and smile at Bill.

Fleur Delacour, the part-Veela bitch. Draco could have recognized her anywhere.
She was the sort of girl who was very hard to miss and forget. No man could
resist her when she batted her eyelashes and swung her long silvery-blonde hair.
She was very charming and beautiful, but if one could get past those qualities,
they would realise how shallow and arrogant she really was.

She had dated Bill for a long time, until her constant demands and scenes of
jealousy had made the older Weasley break up with her. She hadn’t given up on
him, though. Sometimes she would send Bill an owl-post, or drop by at Gringotts
to pay a visit to an old friend. Bill was too soft on her, but that was his
nature. Bill couldn’t see her true intentions. He really thought of her as a
friend now.

But Draco knew better, and his own encounters with Fleur were anything but
friendly. When they talked, they did it as rivals. Draco always felt like
slapping her, but he was too much of a gentleman to actually do it. Draco
wasn’t the jealous type of guy, but Fleur got on his nerves. She always looked
down on him, and she had dared to call him a brainless sex toy once.

Draco clenched his fists as she made her way onto the crowded dance floor. Five
men tried to stop her, but she ignored them all with a cold look.

“Bill…” Draco looked at Bill, who was still staring at Fleur. Draco
pinched him hard. “Bill!”

Bill took his eyes away from her and looked at Draco. “What?”

“You know I don’t like her. Ditch her as soon as she gets here or this time
I swear I will strangle her.”

Bill pulled his chair closer to Draco’s and then laced his arms around
Draco’s waist. “It isn’t like you to get jealous.”

Draco frowned. “I’m not jealous. I just don’t like her.”

“She’s not so bad, you know? She’s actually pretty fragile. That whole
femme fatale pose is all an act.” Draco shot him a murderous look and Bill
grinned. “You are jealous! That’s so cute.” He tried to kiss Draco, who
turned his face away angrily. Bill laughed at him. When Draco turned to face him
again, Bill captured his lips in a soft kiss. Wanting to put on a show for
Fleur, Draco nipped Bill’s lower lip gently, licked it and then kissed him
back in a possessive way. After all, he was a possessive man.

“A-hem!” coughed Fleur to call their attention.

They broke off their kiss slowly. Draco looked up with a grimace; implying that
she was bothering them with her presence. His eyes met hers in a mute but
aggressive challenge. She was smiling at him, but her blue eyes were very cold.
If looks could kill, Draco wondered who would have dropped dead first, he or
Fleur.

“Miss Delacour,” Draco said with a pompous tone of voice, clearly mocking
her.

“Draco. It’s so nice to see you here,” she greeted tartly. When her eyes
switched to Bill, her cold expression vanished and she directed a huge smile at
him. “Bill! Do you mind if I sit with you for a moment? We haven’t seen each
other in a while and I have so much to tell you! I’m finally moving to
London!”

Draco was very upset at the news. He wanted to tell her to fuck off and leave
them alone, but at that exact moment his eyes came across a pair of flaming
green eyes and he completely forgot his surroundings. He barely registered what
Bill said to Fleur. He also didn’t notice when she sat next to Bill and
started to chat with him excitedly.

He couldn’t take his eyes off Harry’s. Draco began to shake slightly, and he
licked his lips nervously. Harry seemed to be pretty upset, but Draco couldn’t
tell why. Was Harry angry with him? Draco had no idea. As far as he knew, he
hadn’t done anything to Harry. But that didn’t mean anything though; after
all, Draco’s mere existence seemed to upset Harry.

Draco glanced at Bill, whose eyes seemed to be spacing out somewhere on the
dance floor. Fleur seemed totally unaware of the fact that she was being
ignored. Draco knew he should cut her off and make it clear who was with Bill
now, but somehow his blue eyes kept switching back to Harry.

He was surprised to see Harry there. Harry didn’t like to go out unless it was
strictly necessary. Perhaps he was there to flirt with his usual bimbos.
Draco’s eyes darkened at the thought and he cursed under his breath. He had
gone out to take Harry off his head, and Harry was right there, gazing at him
with such intensity that Draco was feeling slightly dizzy.

To show that he didn’t care, he sneered and waved at Harry. The brunette
seemed to be taken aback, almost as if Draco had caught him in the act. Harry
turned his head aside for a moment as if he was fighting with himself. Draco
wondered what that was all about. And when Harry looked back at him again, Draco
felt flustered and out of breath.

There was something different about Harry and the way he was looking at Draco
now. Harry didn’t seem angry anymore, but very confident of himself and what
he wanted. And Draco was shocked to realise that what Harry wanted was him. Was
he getting the signals right?

What was Harry playing at? Why was he looking at Draco like that? It was like
Harry wanted to eat him.

Perhaps Draco was seeing too much out of nothing. Or perhaps he was only seeing
what he wanted to see. He wanted Harry to want him, but it was all an illusion.
Harry didn’t even like him.

But even so, Draco knew when someone was trying to seduce him, and Harry was
doing exactly that. He was behaving as if Draco was his prey for the night.

Harry’s eyes were piercing into him, making love to him. Draco’s heartbeat
pounded in his ears. He felt his body reacting instantly. He forgot about
everything else. He only had eyes for Harry.

He licked his lips, not realising how sexy his gesture was, and bit his lower
lip hard to prevent a moan. Harry looked so serious and sexy.

Fleur’s annoying chitchat brought him back to reality in the most painful way.
Draco glanced at Bill for a second and then at Harry, who was now walking
towards his table. He stood up in reflex, trying to think of what to do. He
didn’t want to face that hungry and sexy Harry Potter in front of Bill and
Fleur. In fact, he didn’t want to face Harry at all.

Confused, Draco excused himself and walked as fast as he could towards the
men’s room.

When had Fred appeared at his front door and dragged him out, Harry had had no
idea what was to come. Still, he put on what he thought was his best outfit –
black jeans and boots, black jacket and a red shirt with three buttons left
undone. Then he tried to tame his rebellious hair with gel without any success.
He left his glasses behind and put on his contact lenses –ones he barely wore.
By the time he got into Fred’s Ferrari, his sixth sense was warning him to run
back to his house.

It was too late though. In a few minutes, Fred had parked his Ferrari at the
sidewalk, and the next thing Harry knew he was being pushed inside the nightclub
he hated the most, with a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Not that
Scintillation was a bad place, but Harry could never have a good time in it. The
whole place was too shiny, the music was too loud and people got too drunk –
but he couldn’t really say anything about that particular fact. Most people
were too well dressed, like they were in a fashion show. And Harry always felt
too many eyes upon him, observing his every move, making him feel like he
didn’t belong.

“Harry!” someone shouted, clinging on to his neck.

“Hey, Dennis! Take it easy on Harry…” Fred said, pulling the younger boy
away from Harry with a possessive look. It was the first time Harry saw that
kind of look on Fred’s face and it intrigued him. Could it be that Fred was in
love for the first time? Harry took a closer look at the boy and opened his eyes
wide.

“Dennis Creevey?” he asked, bewildered. Dennis was shorter than him, but he
had grown a lot since the last time Harry saw him.

Fred made a face. “Yeah, this is Dennis. Why does everyone keep looking at him
like that?”

“Hi, Harry!” Dennis greeted excitedly. “It’s so great to see you!”

Harry smiled at his enthusiasm, but then he looked around suspiciously. “Is
your brother here?” he asked; ready to make a quick getaway in case the answer
was positive.

“No, he didn’t want to come,” Dennis answered. “But I’ll tell him that
you were here! He’ll be so jealous!”

Harry grimaced. The last person he wanted to meet was Colin Creevey. Colin was
now The Daily Prophet’s main photographer and he particularly enjoyed taking
pictures of Harry and writing heartbreaking stories about him. Rita Skeeter
appeared sweetly bland next to Colin. Harry knew Colin didn’t mean to make him
look stupid and pitiful, but that was exactly what Harry felt after reading one
of his articles.

“Dennis, don’t bother Harry. He hates the press,” Fred said.

Dennis looked away embarrassedly, and Harry pitied him.

“I don’t exactly hate the press,” Harry said. “I’ve just had a few
problems with them in the past…”

“Yeah, like when Dennis’ brother–”

“Look, Fred!” Harry cut across him quickly so Fred wouldn’t hurt Dennis’
feelings by being a jerk. Even though Harry didn’t like Colin’s articles,
that didn’t mean he would treat Dennis rudely. “I think George is calling
you.”

“George?” Fred looked behind him. “Where? George said he wouldn’t come
here today. He had a hot date.”

“I really think I saw him,” Harry lied convincingly. “He seemed to be
worried. Go after him.”

“But…”

“GO!”

Fred shot Harry a strange look, and before he could go looking for George, he
took Dennis’ hands and dragged him with him, far away from Harry. Harry was
surprised to see how possessive Fred was of Dennis. Fred and Charlie were both
well known from running away from commitments as fast as they could.

It wasn’t news to anyone that the Creevey brothers had an obsession over
Harry. And clearly, that obsession was now bothering Fred. Harry just hoped Fred
treated Dennis all right, because a jealous Weasley was very hard to put up
with. Harry knew that very well. He had lost count of how many stupid things Ron
had done and said to Hermione on account of his own jealousy.

Bill seemed to be different, though. He was calmer than the rest of the lot.
Harry wondered if he treated Draco all right, and he instantly froze at the
thought. He didn’t want to think about Draco. Thoughts about Draco would lead
him to what had happened right before Fred called him. That was a forbidden
boundary that he shouldn’t cross again. Harry was straight, Draco had a
boyfriend, and things were as they should be.

But his heart was racing, and his mouth was dry. Not a day had gone by and he
already missed Draco. He had lived in denial for too long. He wanted Draco. He
should stop lying to himself. The faster he admitted that, the faster he would
get over it.

He went to the bar to get a drink, and while he waited for the bartender, he
scanned the room in search for someone interesting, someone he could take home
with him to forget about Draco. A girl smiled and waved. He smiled back. She
looked interesting enough. But first he needed a drink. Harry was still shy
around women. He needed the alcohol to give him confidence and courage to
approach them.

With the firewhiskey now in his hands, Harry began to flirt with the girl. A
blonde woman cut into his view, and she dazzled him for a moment, until he
noticed that it was Fleur Delacour. His eyes followed Fleur, just like the eyes
of every other man in the room. He couldn’t help it. After all, Fleur was part
Veela. When she switched on her seductive mode, it was quite hard to resist
her.

He wondered who her target was. And he was stunned when he spotted Draco a few
tables away, sitting next to Bill.

His drink almost slipped out of his hands. He put it on the balcony, just to be
safe, and then stared at Draco again. His heart skipped a beat as he watched
Bill pull the blond closer. Harry’s body went rigid when Bill tried to steal a
kiss from Draco but the blond turned his head away angrily. And when Bill
finally kissed Draco, Harry felt like something was shattering painfully inside
him.

He wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. It was the masochist in him. He was
fascinated by the way Draco was teasing and kissing Bill back. He was also
terribly jealous. He couldn’t think straight anymore. He didn’t want to. He
wanted to snatch Draco away from Bill’s arms and claim the blond for himself.
His primitive needs had clouded his rationality. That violent reaction of his
took him by surprise. Only Draco was capable of making him feel that way.

Draco waved at him with a sneer, taking him totally by surprise. Harry hadn’t
realised that Draco had seen him. He quickly looked away, trying to put his
feelings in order. He had never felt so embarrassed in his life. His mind began
to deny everything he was feeling, but his heart rebelled against it all,
crumbling into dust all the defences he had built around it to keep Draco away.

Suddenly, it wasn’t important if Draco was a man and his former enemy. Seeing
Draco with Bill had awakened the lion inside of him. All that mattered was to
satiate his body’s urgent needs. Gone were all prejudices and fears. Gone was
every little excuse he had made up to convince himself that he didn’t feel
anything for Draco but contempt. Everything was so very simple. If he wanted
Draco, he should have him. And to hell with the consequences! Harry would deal
with them later.

Right now, he had more important things to do, like seducing Draco.

Harry’s body came to life as he watched Draco lick his own lips and bite them
hard. Harry’s eyes darkened with desire. He took a deep breath and started
walking towards Draco’s table determinedly. He saw Draco’s growing alarm
when he spotted Harry coming over. The blond got up and headed quickly for the
men’s room.

Harry’s decision of going after him wavered for only a second. Luckily, the
area around the bathrooms seemed quite empty. Taking another deep breath, he
opened the door to the men’s room and entered.

He wanted Draco too much to back down now.



                                Kapitel 22: 22.
                                ---------------


22.
Draco was doomed. He knew it the moment he saw Harry entering the bathroom.
Draco bit his lower lip hard and clenched his fists on edge of the sink, but his
body couldn’t stop shaking. There was only one other man in the loo besides
him and Harry, but noticing the tension, the man quickly disappeared. Draco took
a deep breath in order to calm his heart down, but it was in vain. His heart
always beat erratically when Harry was around.

His eyes met Harry’s through the mirror hanging on the wall and he almost
moaned. Harry looked irresistible tonight. Their morning walks and well-balanced
meals had done wonderful things to him. The brunet had lost that paleness that
made him look sick; and even though his body was still skinny, it wasn’t bony
anymore. The old flame in Harry’s eyes was back again, making it hard for
Draco to resist him. And the fact that Harry wasn’t wearing his glasses only
made it more prominent.

Harry looked very attractive all dressed up. Draco was used to seeing him in
casual clothes. Black and red were definitely Harry’s colours. That lustful
new look was mind blowing. Draco was suddenly back at the beginning of his
seventh year, when he had first realised he had fallen in love with Harry. That
was the Harry he wanted. That was the Harry Potter that had bewitched his senses
in the past. That was also the man Draco hated and feared the most.

The casual Harry Potter he could handle. This new and improved
fuck-my-brains-out Harry Potter was entirely different.

Everything was so confusing. Draco still couldn’t believe that what he was
seeing in Harry’s eyes was desire. It was true that Harry had sent him several
mixed-up signals that week, but Draco had judged Harry to be too much of a
coward to act upon whatever he was feeling. Besides, Draco had chosen to ignore
his own feelings for Harry, and he really thought he was doing a good job.

But with just one look Harry had ruined everything, which just showed how
fragile Draco’s defences were.

In one last desperate resort, Draco thought about Bill and ordered himself to
get a grip. No matter how much he wanted to take this chance, he would do the
right thing. He would convince himself that what he was seeing in Harry’s eyes
wasn’t an invitation, but an illusion created by Draco’s own desire. He
would blink and Harry’s eyes would stare at him with the animosity of last
week.

“Potter,” Draco began, trying to sound indifferent. “I’m surprised to
see you here. I…”

Harry grunted. “Please, don’t.”

Draco frowned. “Don’t?”

Harry crossed his arms, upset. “Don’t do this.”

“Do what?”

“Pretend you haven’t noticed. And before you ask, you know damn well what
I’m talking about.” Harry began to pace nervously. “This isn’t easy for
me, all right? It’s all a big mess, and I’m not sure of what I’m supposed
to do. But I feel like I will explode if I don’t do anything. I need to get
this out of my system. Ever since that kiss, this is all I’ve though about,
day in and day out, for the whole fucking week.”

Draco didn’t know what he was supposed to say, so he just kept quiet and
waited for Harry to finish his heated speech.

“That’s why I decided to stop playing this stupid game,” Harry went on.
“Maybe I am wrong, and I’m making a complete fool of myself, but when you
kissed me, I felt something and I thought you felt the same thing. And today,
when our eyes met, I swear that your feelings were matching mine.”

Draco’s eyes briefly twinkled. He wanted to ask Harry to stop. He wanted to
deny everything that Harry was saying. And most of all, he wanted to pretend
that he didn’t know what Harry was talking about. He was ready to do all of
those things, but Harry cut him off.

“Please, just let me finish,” Harry said, staring straight into Draco’s
eyes through the mirror. Draco nodded slowly, and Harry continued, “As I was
saying, I thought, when our eyes met, that you were feeling the same way. Do
you?”

Draco’s heart skipped a beat. “Do I?”

Harry bit his lower lip and walked towards Draco, grabbing the blond by the arms
and turning him around to face him properly. Draco almost panicked. His instant
reaction was to pull away, but Harry’s hands tightened themselves around his
arms like claws. “Stop playing games with me, Malfoy. You’re not stupid. You
know what I’m talking about. Do you feel the same way? Just answer me with a
simple yes or no,” Harry said demandingly.

Draco smiled bitterly. The answer to that question was anything but simple.
Harry should know that. What exactly would Harry do if Draco’s answer was
positive? Would Harry chicken out like he always did?

Draco was furious with Harry, because Harry hadn’t said exactly what he felt
for Draco, and exactly what he wanted from him.

“Am I crazy? Was I imagining things?” Harry asked.

“Aren’t you straight?” Draco asked back.

Harry let go of Draco instantly, and Draco almost screamed from frustration. It
was so typical of Harry to act without thinking about the consequences. Harry
only thought he wanted Draco. It was just a game, and Draco didn’t want to
play along.

“What’s the matter, Potter?” Draco sneered. “Did I just hit a nerve?”

Harry’s familiar sparkle of loathing was back again. Something broke inside of
Draco, but he told himself that it was for the best.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Potter, so if you want something
from me you’ll have to be clearer than that.” Draco bit his cheek and called
himself an idiot. He was deliberately provoking Harry. What was he thinking? He
didn’t want to provoke Harry. He just wanted to wake Harry up to reality.

“I… I’m so confused right now…” Harry smiled bitterly. “Actually,
Malfoy, I can’t think straight at all when I’m with you. I try to, but then
my heart races and I feel dizzy when you come near me… and… and… I…”
Harry passed his hand across his hair, messing it even more. “I don’t know
what to do anymore. I don’t know what to feel. I’m tired of trying to figure
it all out on my own. I was hoping you could help me.”

Draco gulped. If Harry expected Draco to feel sorry for him, he would be very
disappointed. Draco didn’t need to go through that. He didn’t have time to
deal with Harry’s denial. He didn’t want to. That was a very dangerous path.
Draco’s life was finally on track again. If Draco accepted Harry’s offer, he
would damage everything he had built for himself so far.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Draco began hesitantly. He hated
how weak Harry made him feel.

“Actually, I don’t want you to say anything. I just want you to kiss me
again,” Harry said bluntly.

Draco’s heart almost came out of his mouth. He closed his eyes for a moment,
thinking that perhaps it was all a dream. But as he opened them again, Harry was
still in front of him, looking feverish and devilishly attractive. Harry’s
cheeks were slightly pink, and his lips were swollen and pleading to be taken.
Draco turned his head away and faced his own image in the mirror. He was stunned
by what he saw. He looked exactly like Harry. The red of his cheeks were already
spreading to his neck, a clear sign that he was losing his mind. It was a
disease, he told himself, and it was taking over his whole being.

‘Fuck it all,’ he thought. He had waited for this moment his entire life. He
had longed for that exact look on Harry’s face. He could just take what was
being offered to him and think about the consequences later. It would be just
for that night. Then Draco would move on once and for all, and he would get over
Harry.

Then again, Draco knew himself pretty well. He wouldn’t be satisfied with just
a free sample. He would want more. For Harry it was probably just a fuck. Harry
was acting out of curiosity. But for Draco, it would mean so much more than
that. It would mean a dream come true. How many days of his seventh year had
been spent in fantasies about Harry? How many days he had spent trying to figure
out a way to win Harry’s trust?

“I’m only asking for a kiss,” Harry said softly.

Draco shook his head. “You’re asking for a lot more than that.” You’re
asking for my soul, Potter. And the sad thing was that Harry didn’t even
realise it. “I’m with Bill. He’s waiting for me.”

Harry put his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall behind him. “I
know. I respect him a lot, which makes things even more difficult for me. But
you didn’t think about Bill when you kissed me the first time.” There was a
tone of accusation in Harry’s voice. Draco wanted to punch him, but Harry was
right. Draco hadn’t thought about Bill when he had kissed Harry. “I have no
right to ask you this, I know…”

Draco turned around and stared at him. “Damn right you haven’t.”

“I know. But I can’t help it. This whole thing is driving me crazy! It’s
that damn kiss! You shouldn’t have kissed me if you were so in love with Bill!
That’s the problem with you, Malfoy. You don’t think about your actions
much, do you?” Harry asked, knowing that the last sentence wasn’t for Draco
but for himself. Harry was the one who had the tendency to disregard the
consequences of his actions.

Draco snorted, outraged. “Don’t be a hypocrite, Potter. You are the one who
doesn’t think about your fucking actions! I’m thinking about mine right now!
Besides, you are the straight man here, right?” Draco grimaced. “I don’t
want to wake up dead tomorrow just because you suddenly realised that you slept
with another man and are too disgusted to face yourself.”

“I would never do something like that!” Harry exclaimed, outraged.

“You would regret it.”

“I wouldn’t!”

“Yes, you would,” Draco said sadly. “And then, in a classic Harry Potter
move, you would blame it all on me. I don’t understand you at all, Potter. You
make it clear that you hate me. You let me know how much you despise me. You
called me a bloody fag! And now you come here and ask me to kiss you… And you
make it sound so cheap… You don’t care at all about me and my feelings, do
you? Do you?!” Draco shouted, not knowing what he was saying. The words kept
coming out uncontrollably. “You have no right to look at me like that. You had
no right to follow me here.” Draco looked down. “This week was good, right?
Not perfect, but at least we got along. Don’t spoil this. I… I’ll hate you
forever if you spoil this. I like… being your friend. I like… that I don’t
have to hate you now. So let’s just forget about this and go back to…”

“No,” Harry cut him off decisively. “I saw the way you looked at me. You
want me.”

“So what?” Draco said crossly. “This is nothing but a game to you. You
just want–”

“You,” Harry said emotionally but firmly. Draco felt his legs weakened. “I
want you.”

“Why?” Draco asked feebly.

“Why do you need a reason?”

“Because I can’t believe you.”

“Then I’ll prove it to you!”

Harry gripped Draco’s arms, pushed him into an empty cubicle and locked them
in. Right at that moment, two men entered the bathroom talking animatedly, but
Harry and Draco didn’t seem to care. They couldn’t take their eyes off each
other.

Draco’s old self was still debating with his new self about the implications
of his actions. His new self was telling him to push Harry away and get out
before things got too messy. But his old self wanted to him to take that chance
and forget about the consequences. His old self would never turn down Harry’s
request. He wouldn’t even think twice about it. He would just kiss Harry
without further ado.

Harry moved closer to him and Draco felt his unsteady breath caressing his
cheeks softly, sending shivers down his spine. He touched Harry’s waist
slightly as Harry’s hands moved towards his face, holding back the urge to
purr and rub himself against Harry like a cat.

Draco’s old self was winning the battle. Draco was tired of resisting. He
threw all of his precautions out the window and shut up the part of him that
kept screaming in his ears that this was a very bad idea.

Harry’s body was so close now that Draco completely forgot about the world
outside. All he could think about was Harry’s breath on his lips, and the tips
of Harry’s fingers brushing his neck. With half-opened eyes, Draco stared at
Harry, dazzled. With his thumb and forefinger, Harry touched Draco’s chin. The
green eyes seemed fascinated by Draco’s pink lips. Draco moved his head
forward and their lips touched. They remained like that for a while, their lips
only brushing one another softly, until the tip of Draco’s tongue came out to
lick Harry’s parted mouth.

Harry sighed, completely enraptured. There was no way Draco could push him away
now. Draco’s hand slipped to Harry’s chest where he could feel Harry’s
quickened heartbeat. He caught one of Harry’s hands and placed it on his own
chest so Harry could know that Draco’s heartbeat was beating as fast as
Harry’s. Then Draco guided the same hand down his body, letting it go only
when it reached the button of his trousers. Harry unbuttoned them, his eyes
fixed on Draco’s.

Draco’s hand unbuttoned Harry’s jeans next, unzipping them slowly. He was
surprised to find Harry already hard. Their eyes questioned one another
silently. Draco nodded his head almost imperceptibly. He couldn’t hold back
his desire anymore. He told the voice of reason to scram. He wanted to lose
himself in that sweet madness.

“You can kiss me,” Draco whispered against Harry’s parted mouth.

Harry gave him a sly grin and then his lips met Draco’s, one, two, three
times. Draco sighed in frustration. He wanted a deep and wet kiss, with
everything else that came along. Harry didn’t seem to be in a hurry; he was
enjoying their game of seduction. His mouth nipped Draco’s earlobe, and he
whispered softly, “This won’t be just a quick fuck.”

Draco melted in his arms. He damned Harry for saying exactly what he wanted to
hear. Draco captured Harry’s lips in a breathtaking kiss and wrapped his arms
around Harry’s waist. Their bodies aligned perfectly, and Draco rubbed his
body against Harry’s, enthralled. The brunet moaned softly as the heat between
them rose.

Draco switched their positions, making Harry lean against the wall. He pinned
Harry’s hands above his head with one hand and stroked him with the other.
Harry’s jeans and underwear slipped down his legs. Harry’s body trembled and
he was flushed. Draco found that image absolutely hot and adorable. That was
what made him so crazy about Harry, that mix of mischief and innocence. Unable
to control himself any longer, Draco tasted the salty skin of Harry’s neck and
then brushed his teeth on it softly as if he was about to suck it like a
vampire.

“I told you I don’t want just a quick fuck,” Harry muttered.

Draco cocked his head and smiled seductively. “It won’t be.” Draco would
never allow his first time with Harry to be in a bathroom of a club. He wanted
to take his time to taste all of Harry, to know Harry’s pleasure points.
“This is only foreplay. We’ll save the best for last,” he said hoarsely.

Harry smiled shyly. “When did we switch roles? I was the one who was supposed
to be seducing you. You were supposed to be resisting…”

“I was and it didn’t work. So now I’ll do the seduction. I like being in
control,” Draco whispered, kissing Harry on the lips hungrily. That kiss was
nothing like the first. While the first one had been sweet and deliberate, this
one was desperate and full of an old repressed desire that they had kept inside
for too long.

Harry trembled and bit his lower lip hard as Draco touched him more intimately.
Draco nipped his earlobe, then his neck. He released Harry’s hands slowly, and
buried his fingers into the silken black hair, capturing Harry’s lips again.
Harry’s shaken hands sneaked under Draco’s shirt and caressed his belly
softly. Draco couldn’t help but moan under Harry’s gentle touch.

He was also trembling when he knelt in front of Harry. Their eyes met for a
brief moment. Draco licked his lips provocatively, making Harry moan. This was
it. There was no turning back after this point. Draco expected Harry to freak
out, but the brunet smiled at him reassuringly, daring Draco to make the next
move, to cast his spell.

Harry tried his best to be quiet, but the constant movements of Draco’s tongue
and hands were driving him crazy. Harry buried his fingers in Draco’s hair and
closed his eyes in bliss as he felt Draco’s fingertips tease him.

Harry was shocked at the sudden touch, but at the same time a wave of pleasure
struck his body with the force of a Bludger and he moaned Draco’s name.

When Draco stood up, his face was all red and his eyes were glazed. He gently
kissed Harry’s mouth and then rested his head on Harry’s shoulders. Harry
smiled, totally sated. He stroked the blond hair listening to Draco’s unsteady
breath. “What about you?” Harry asked. “You didn’t…”

Draco mumbled something that Harry didn’t understand. Harry cupped Draco’s
face and stared at him curiously. “I want to go somewhere else,” Draco said
huskily.

Harry was completely stunned with Draco’s self-control. It was obvious that
Draco wanted release, but Harry understood what he meant. Harry also wanted to
be somewhere else. With a cute smile, he whispered in Draco’s ears, “Then
let’s go home.”



                                Kapitel 23: 23.
                                ---------------


23.
It was a good thing that Mrs. Black was still asleep in her painting. Harry
didn’t think he could have dealt with her malicious comments that night; not
after what had happened between him and Draco in the bathroom of the club. He
went red at the thought. It was hard to believe that he had lost his
self-control like that. It was hard to believe that he had moaned and trembled
in Draco’s arms. Now that they were back in the house and their passion had
settled a little, Harry was having doubts about the whole thing.

‘How typical of you, Harry,’ he thought to himself bitterly. ‘The classic
Harry Potter move, huh? Are you really going to blame it all on Draco, you
bastard? You know damn well that this time it was your fault.’

Draco was experiencing something similar. His passion had cooled down quickly
once he had told Bill that he was leaving without looking his boyfriend in the
eye. Bill hadn’t asked for explanations, and the lack of jealousy had been a
knife in Draco’s pride. Now Draco was confused and a little bit angry,
wondering if Bill would find comfort in Fleur’s arms. After all, Bill had seen
Harry.

And then there was Harry, the main problem, the trigger that had messed up
Draco’s life. Draco knew Harry was having second thoughts about him. He could
see it in the way Harry’s body language had changed right after they had come
out of the bathroom to face reality. That made him sad, and aware of the fact
that if he really wanted Harry, he would have to handle not only Harry’s mood
swings but also his constant state of denial.

But Harry didn’t notice any of this. He was too busy with his own turmoil.

“Potter?” Harry heard Draco calling his name and he shivered. Harry had
never noticed just how sexy Draco’s voice was. It was like a soft touch on his
skin. Harry turned around expecting to find the famous sneer on Draco’s face,
but all he could find was disappointment in the clear blue eyes. “I see,”
Draco said with a feeble smile, “that you’ve already changed your mind.
It’s ok. Actually, I was expecting this already.”

Was he? Harry didn’t know he was that predictable. Then again, wasn’t it
that same predictability in his personality that had endangered him and others
so many times in the past? Voldemort had made that a weapon against Harry. It
wasn’t so difficult to predict his moves. And Draco, who probably had a degree
in Harry Potter, knew that as well as Voldemort.

Harry wanted to stop being so predictable. He wanted to make some changes in his
life. But to do that, he would have to come clean with Draco. He would have to
tell Draco that even though he could handle a few kisses and touches, he
didn’t know if he could handle a night of wild sex with a man. He was scared
of his own emotions. Until now, no woman had made him lose control like Draco
had. But it was gay sex. And by the way Draco had teased him in the bathroom,
Harry would be the bottom. He was feeling conflicted. He wanted to have sex with
Draco, but he was scared.

If he came clean with Draco about the matter, the blonde would laugh at him and
the mood would be spoiled. Harry would hate him again, and the verbal battles
would restart.

But if Harry didn’t come clean, there was a remote – actually, big –
chance of him freaking out in the middle of the whole thing. And then Draco
would either laugh his heart out or be angry with him, which wouldn’t be too
different from the first hypothetical situation. There was a third possibility
in that horrible scenario that Harry’s mind was creating. Draco could rape
him. He opened his eyes widely at the possibility, and then he made a face. Even
if that happened, he could defend himself pretty well.

“POTTER!” Draco exclaimed, upset.

“What?” Harry asked, disturbed.

“What’s with all these faces you’re making?”

“I’m not making any faces!” Harry quickly denied.

“Yes, you are.” Draco crossed his arms and sighed. “Look, what just
happened between us… We could blame it on the full moon, right? We were caught
up in its spell. I knew it was a very bad idea, but… Well, it doesn’t
matter. I have someone already, and in spite of what you think, I don’t like
to cheat on my partners.”

Harry took off his jacket angrily and hung it on one of the hooks next to the
front door. He didn’t like to think about Draco and his partners. He certainly
didn’t want to talk about Bill, who had sent him a murderous look right before
Harry and Draco had left Scintillation, but hadn’t done anything to stop Draco
from leaving with him. What kind of boyfriend was Bill anyway?

He stared at Draco and said, “Are you listening to yourself? You talk about
Bill as if he was just one of your numerous partners. Or better yet, you don’t
talk about him. He didn’t seem worried about you, did he? And you… you’re
so bloody cold about Bill that it gives me the shivers. Are you this cold in
bed, too?”

Draco clenched his fists to his sides. “First of all, don’t talk to me like
I’m a bloody slut. You are!” Harry made an outraged face and Draco went on
before Harry could cut him off, “Secondly, I’m very hot, Potter! You had a
taste of me not so long ago. You could find out more about it, but you’re too
much of a coward to even try!”

Harry opened and closed his mouth several times before he could find a decent
reply. “I’m not a coward! I was the one who took the initiative to go after
you in the bathroom! And I’m definitely not a slut!”

“Oh, really?” Draco smirked. Harry wanted to draw out his wand and hex him.
“Then how about all those girls you bring here for a quick and uncompromised
shag? I’m a wizard, but I know about that awful muggle disease! I could be
risking my life by sleeping with you!”

Harry’s face was scarlet. “That’s… that’s… such a… For your
information, it only happened a few times! And I took the test not so long ago!
I’m clean, all right? I always use condoms.”

“How can you tell? You’re always too drunk to remember!” Draco accused.
“What about that woman that you brought in the last time?”

Harry’s face was so red he thought it would explode. “I do remember using it
with her.”

“Bullshit.”

“I do! I don’t expect you to believe me, because I can’t remember a lot of
things about that night. Hell, I don’t even remember her name! But I do
remember that she kept nagging me about using the bloody thing, and I also
remember her putting it on me, so…” Harry made a pause. Draco seemed as if
he were about to throw up. “I’m not Don Juan. I’m not fit for the job. I
can count on my fingers the girls I’ve slept with. You know I hate to go out.
It’s just that sometimes I need some relief, all right? There were only two
girls I couldn’t remember at all the morning after, and because of them I took
the test. I am clean. That girl you saw with me was the only exception. Ever
since I thought I could be sick, I stopped bringing girls I didn’t know here.
And I only brought that girl here because I wanted to get you out of my
mind.”

Draco’s breath was caught up in his throat. “What about the MC Sisters?”
he asked quietly.

“They are friends.” Draco raised an eyebrow sceptically and Harry sighed.
“I slept with both of them, but I was never drunk while doing it. And we
really are friends. I like talking to them…”

“Talking?” Draco snorted. “Yeah, sure.”

“I do. They are very intelligent.”

“Oh, please…”

“I’m telling you the truth!”

“Yeah, whatever.” Draco walked towards the stairs, but he stopped on the
first step as if he had suddenly realised something. Without turning around, he
asked, “What did you mean by bringing that woman here just to get me out of
your head?”

Harry licked his lips nervously. “Exactly what you think it means.”

Draco turned around and stared at Harry with a sneer. “Oh, but I don’t know
what you mean.”

Harry breathed hard. “Don’t play dumb with me, Malfoy.”

Draco cocked his head and Harry felt like punching him. “How about what you
said to me yesterday? You said that hell would freeze over when you found
yourself attracted to me. Now you’re telling me that hell froze over a long
time ago… How interesting.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “So what if it did?”

“Do you want me or not, Potter?” Draco asked bluntly. “Because you’re
not the only one who’s tired of this stupid denial game.”

“Then why don’t you tell me the truth?”

“What truth?”

Harry grunted, distressed. “Why don’t you admit what you want?”

“Why don’t you?” Draco counterattacked.

Harry was about to explode. Why did Draco have to be so stubborn? “I already
did! I was the one who followed you to the bathroom, remember? I was the one who
told you how I felt! But you haven’t said a word!”

Draco snorted, disbelievingly. “I acted upon it, haven’t I?”

“Why can’t you just fucking say it?!” Harry shouted impatiently. “Is it
so hard to admit that you want the common Harry Potter? Is it so hard to tell me
that you want me even though you think so lowly of me?”

Draco stared at him with surprise. “What are you talking about?”

“You don’t like anything about me.”

Draco wanted to tell him that he liked everything about him. Well, everything
except Harry’s block-headed personality. Draco suddenly realised how stupid
the situation was. They both wanted the same thing, but neither of them wanted
to admit it first. It was so typical of them. Draco’s lips curved into a
smile, and then he laughed.

“What’s so bloody funny?” Harry asked, fuming.

“We are so ridiculous, Potter. We turn everything into a stupid
competition.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “And whose fault is that? You were the one who
started this, remember? You couldn’t even be friends with me without turning
it into a bloody competition of who was better than whom. Maybe if you hadn’t
been so bloody conceited and arrogant, I would have shaken your hand the first
time you offered it to me.”

Draco made a face. “I don’t really want to talk about the past, ok? It’s
buried forever.”

“It isn’t buried. It’s always hanging between us,” Harry stated.

“Ok, Potter!” Draco began to feel restless. His past was something that got
on his nerves and he didn’t want to discuss it with Harry or anybody else.
“Do you want the truth? I’ll tell you the truth. I enjoyed competing with
you in the past, mostly because it was the only way to get close to you. You
only acknowledged me when I was being a prick. I thought that it was better to
be despised by you than ignored by you.” Harry opened his eyes wide at the
sudden revelation. Draco looked down for a moment, but then he held his chin
high and said, “I want you. I’ve wanted you since I first laid my eyes on
you. Of course, back then I had no idea that what I felt was desire, but now I
do. So, what are you going to do about it?” Draco challenged.

Harry was thunderstruck. He didn’t expect to hear all that. He was stunned to
know that Draco had wanted him since Hogwarts. He really thought that their
attraction was something new to both of them. Was Draco really telling him the
truth? Or perhaps he was only toying with Harry, telling him what he wanted to
hear. Harry frowned. Did he want to hear that Draco wanted him since Hogwarts?
Wasn’t it already too shocking to know that Draco wanted him now? Harry’s
head was spinning. He didn’t know what to think anymore.

“I’m scared,” Harry said without holding his tongue. That wasn’t exactly
what he had meant to say, but now that it was out, he should just tell Draco the
truth about him and how pathetic he really was. After all, Draco had been honest
with him about his feelings.

“What are you scared of?” Draco asked curiously. That line was the last
thing he expected to hear from Harry. Harry Potter was fierce and brave. He
wasn’t supposed to fear anything.

Harry licked his lips nervously, but his eyes remained on Draco’s when he
said, “I’ve never done this before. With a man, I mean. In a way, it’s
going to be my first time.” Harry felt his cheeks getting hot and he knew he
was blushing. “Weren’t you scared your first time? And don’t you dare
laugh!” Harry threatened him as he caught Draco trying to suppress a smile.

Harry’s confession took Draco by surprise. Draco went from total shock to
exhilarating happiness in a few seconds. The saviour of the world was afraid
of… him. Harry looked at him with distrust while Draco battled with himself to
suppress his brand new discovered powers. He was feeling great, but he
couldn’t let Harry know that. Their precarious relationship would fall apart
for good if Draco made fun of Harry’s vulnerability in any way.

But a smile escaped from Draco’s lips before he could help himself. It was a
sweet smile though, without any traces of mockery. That new side of Harry was so
cute that he wanted to take Harry in his arms and cuddle him. “Even though I
wasn’t scared my first time, I understand,” Draco said finally.

Harry wrinkled his forehead. “I don’t believe you. You’re just showing
off.”

“I am not!” Draco grinned slyly. “I wasn’t scared. I was just… a bit
anxious and… definitely horny.”

Harry shook his head disbelievingly. He couldn’t believe he was having this
kind of conversation with Draco of all people. Harry had never talked about sex
so openly with anyone, not even with Ron. The night was turning out to be very
surreal. He smiled involuntarily. “Typical,” he said. “I bet you fell for
the guy just because he was pretty.”

Draco just shrugged. “He was gorgeous, not just pretty. And besides, when
you’re that age all you care about are appearances,” he said almost
defensively. “You don’t really fall in love with a brain… I know you
haven’t.”

“I was never like that. I cared about substance.”

Draco snorted. “Yeah, right. You fell in love with Cho Chang! She was nothing
but a pretty face. She had no substance at all, Potter! She was as shallow as I
was.”

It was Harry’s time to shrug. Draco was right, but Harry wouldn’t let him
know just how much.

“And she wasn’t even pretty, if you ask me,” Draco continued with a pang
of jealousy in his voice. “I don’t know what you saw in her. You called me
shallow, but that girl had serious problems.” Harry agreed with Draco on that,
too. Cho had almost traumatised Harry for life. After her, he had never thought
that any woman could be so scary and complicated. “How was your first time?”
Draco asked.

“Good.” Nothing spectacular. He hoped Ginny could forgive him for thinking
that. Then again, Ginny probably thought the same thing about him. When Harry
had broken up with her, she hadn’t put much effort into changing his mind.
“How about yours?”

Draco smiled mischievously and Harry felt a pang in his heart. “It was
great,” Draco said dreamily, making Harry want to find out who that person
was, hunt him down and kill him. “He was very good at–”

Harry put his hands on his ears and said, “I don’t want to know.”

Draco smiled, but then he got very serious. “Harry…” Harry took his hands
off his ears, amazed by the sexy sound of Draco’s voice calling his name.
“I’ll be gentle. I mean, if you still want… you know… I promise I
won’t hurt you.”

Harry felt his body shaking. He closed his eyes for a moment, pondering his
options. He began to remember how good Draco had made him feel before, and how
his body had screamed for more. He opened his eyes and stared at Draco. The
blonde had changed a lot over the years. Harry would have never trusted the old
Draco, but he wanted to trust this one. Taking a deep breath, Harry asked,
“Your room or mine?”



                                Kapitel 24: 24.
                                ---------------


24.
Harry entered his room as Draco went to his own for a moment. Harry figured it
was to give him time, or perhaps to give Draco himself time to think things
over. Harry didn’t know if that was such a good idea, but he sat on his bed
and waited. He began to bite his nails off, but then, realising how stupidly he
was behaving, he enlaced his fingers as if he were about to pray. In a way, he
was. He wanted this night to be perfect. He didn’t want any of his fears to
get in the way of what he was about to do. He was determined to go all the way
with Draco and didn’t want to back out in the middle of it. Why was Draco
taking so long? By the time he heard Draco moving around in the hallway outside
his room, Harry was a nervous wreck.

His body trembled when Draco finally came in. He bit his lower lip hard, his
heart pounding like crazy in his ears. He silently watched as Draco placed his
wand and a little purple box on the bedside table. Harry gulped as he recognized
the famous wizarding box of condoms, the kind that gave both partners extra
pleasure.

At every step Draco took towards him, Harry felt like running away. He
couldn’t help it. He had built up too many defences for six years. It was hard
to break them. Noticing this, Draco stopped a few inches from the bed and
sighed.

“We don’t have to do this tonight. We can take things slowly. We can
just…”

Harry sat up and shook his head. “No. Let’s do this.”

Draco made a face. “If you’re going to stare at me like you’re about to be
hit by Cruciatus, Potter, then we’re not doing this.”

Harry thought about replying, but he knew that it would only lead to another
argument, and he didn’t want to waste any more time talking. He was fed up
with it.

But Draco’s concern for him was a delightful surprise. He would never have
thought the blonde would be so considerate and kind. He thought of Draco as the
kind of man who just took what he wanted without asking. This wasn’t the same
brat he had met at Hogwarts, though. This was a man that he could fall in love
with. Perhaps Draco was only pretending to be a good guy, but Harry didn’t
want to analyse the situation any longer. He was tired of thinking about every
little detail of his odd relationship with Draco.

He was ready for some action, no matter how shaken he was. His body was pleading
for attention, demanding more of what Draco had offered him in the bathroom of
the nightclub. His fears would have to be postponed. He would do his best. After
all, he was tired of being the predictable Harry Potter. He wanted to be
sexually daring. He wanted to try new things. Hell, he really wanted Draco.

Without further delay, Harry closed the distance between them and captured
Draco’s lips in his own. Draco was so surprised by this that he didn’t react
at first. But when he did, he made Harry melt in his arms. Harry couldn’t
believe that a kiss could be so powerful. Draco’s kiss brought him to his
knees. The hot and skilful tongue invading his mouth made him see stars behind
his closed eyes. It also made the defensive walls around his heart crumble one
by one.

He felt a tingle running through his body, setting him on fire. Once again, he
realised that a kiss had never had such a strong effect on him. Draco’s lips
tasted divine, like strawberry mousse and clotted cream. Harry sighed with
pleasure, burying his fingers in Draco’s silken blond hair. He felt as if he
couldn’t get enough of this kiss.

Harry almost screamed with frustration when Draco’s lips abandoned his. His
disappointment was soon forgotten when Draco placed hot kisses along his neck
and then sucked sensuously. He threw his head back with a strangled moan. Draco
began to undress him slowly, making it clear that Harry could still change his
mind if he wanted to and call it all off. But Harry knew that it was too late to
stop now.

He watched in a daze as his red shirt fell to the floor, followed by his jeans
and then underwear. And there he was, fully naked in front of Draco Malfoy –
his former enemy! – and not just literally naked, but metaphorically as well.
He was allowing Draco to see all of him, to strip him of all his prejudices and
fears, to blow him away.

He wanted to tell Draco that it was his turn to undress, but his voice stuck in
his throat. Gathering all the courage he had, Harry unbuttoned Draco’s shirt
with shaking hands. He felt as if he was unwrapping a very expensive and
delicious gift, something to be cherished and savoured languidly. He tossed the
shirt away and took his time to take a closer look at Draco’s magnificent
chest. He grazed the blond arrow that had fascinated him so much the night he
had taken care of Draco’s eyebrow cut. His hands touched that small trace of
blond hair tentatively, and he felt Draco’s abdomen contract.

It was then that he noticed how shaken Draco was. Far from being the confident
spoiled-brat of the past, Draco was now as nervous as Harry. That fact made
Harry feel amused. It meant that Draco was only human after all. Feeling bolder,
Harry let his fingers travel up Draco’s chest, touching it to his heart’s
content. He was fascinated by it. It was the first time he had touched another
man so intimately, and he loved it. Draco’s skin was so soft to touch, so
smooth. It made Harry want to taste all of him.

His hand stopped next to Draco’s heart. It was beating as fast as Harry’s.
He heard a soft chuckle and he looked up, annoyed by the interruption, wondering
if he had done something wrong.

“What?” Harry asked. “You don’t like it?”

Draco smiled. “No! It isn’t that. It’s just… You! I… You’re
so…”

Harry frowned. “I’m so… what?”

“Beautiful,” Draco whispered, adding the word innocent in his thoughts. He
was in heaven. He loved to watch Harry’s dazzled expression. He was enchanted
by Harry’s sudden boldness to strip and touch him so freely. It was a sweet
delight to watch Harry touching him as if Draco were made of glass, but also a
sweet madness. It was so hard to keep his self-control when those hands were
stroking him with such tenderness and innocence. He wanted to pull Harry up by
the hair, kiss him and then throw him onto the bed, but he couldn’t. He had to
let Harry set the pace, at least their first time. Draco didn’t want to scare
him away.

That was why Draco was trembling so much, and his heart was beating so fast.
Draco drew a deep breath. “You’re going to be the death of me,” Draco
whispered softly.

Harry didn’t hear what Draco said. He was too busy licking and kissing down
Draco’s naked chest, tasting it with his lips, tongue, and teeth. He knelt in
front of Draco and unbuttoned his trousers. Then he unzipped them, and he looked
up to meet Draco’s eyes.

Draco held his breath in anticipation as he waited for Harry’s next move. He
still feared that Harry would freak out, but so far Harry had done nothing but
surprise him. Draco had purposely let Harry lead the way because he wanted to
prevent Harry from running away, and the results were exceeding his
expectations. But to leave everything to Harry was turning out to be harder than
he had expected. Harry’s curiosity and innocence were too tempting. Draco felt
as if he would explode at any moment.

Draco’s trousers slid down and were removed by Harry. The underwear came next.
Harry gulped as he saw just how excited Draco already was. Sex with another male
had never appealed to him; no matter how many times Fred had tempted him to try
it, Harry had always told him off. But sex with Draco suddenly looked
fascinating. Harry just couldn’t control himself anymore. It was as if he had
been wrapped up in Draco’s magic, and the only way to undo the spell was to
give himself to it.

/censored/

Since Harry had never done that to someone, his inexperience and clumsiness not
only amused Draco, but also turned the blonde on even more. But when Harry
almost gagged, Draco cut in and tried to point Harry in the right direction.

“Just take it slow, Harry. There’s no rush,” Draco whispered. “Watch out
for the teeth.”

Harry made a face. “I know at least that much…”

Draco raised an eyebrow, amused. “All right. I just don’t want my cock
bitten off,” Draco said jokingly.

“It would be less than you deserve,” Harry replied in the same playful tone.
Harry cocked his head seductively but also a little shyly. That duality took
Draco’s breath away. “But I like hearing you guide me. It’s very…
erotic.”

Draco smiled lazily. “Really?” His tone of voice sounded like velvet. Harry
felt shivers down his spine.

/censored/

“What next?” Harry asked provokingly.

/censored/

Draco felt his legs becoming weak, and he asked Harry to stop. Harry didn’t
stop, though. “Please, Harry… just stop… I think I’m more than ready
now…” Draco’s knees gave up, and Harry caught him before he could fall.

Harry kissed Draco’s lips and said, “Let’s go to bed.”

They lay down and Harry brought Draco on top of him. Harry was on fire. He
wanted something more, something to fill him up, but he didn’t know how to
voice his need. Draco placed a soft kiss on his lips, and their eyes met.

Draco’s fingertips stroked Harry’s cheeks tenderly, and then slid down.

/censored/

“Harry?”

“What?”

Draco moved his hand to Harry’s flat belly and rested there. “I can make you
feel good without… you know… We don’t have to go all the way today if you
don’t want to…”

Harry took a deep breath. “I want to.”

“Exactly what do you want? I can go both ways.”

Harry raised an eyebrow, confused. “What do you mean?”

Draco blushed slightly. “I can be top or bottom.”

“Oh.” It was Harry’s time to flush. They had reached an interesting point.
Harry did want to take Draco, but he also wanted to be taken. He wanted to
experience what it would be like to have Draco inside him. He gulped and
whispered shyly, “I want you… in me. Just… be gentle.” Harry felt very
stupid saying that, but he forgot about it when Draco’s lips met his in a
breathtaking kiss, taking away what could have been left of his rationality.
There was no turning back now. No matter how scared he was, his need to feel
more of Draco was stronger. “I want you. Please…”

He watched as Draco caught the box of condoms and opened it up, taking one. His
eyes followed Draco’s every move. Harry shivered as the lubrication touched
his skin, and he slammed his eyes shut when he felt Draco’s finger. Harry felt
a pang shoot through his body. He groaned and his fingers clenched on the
sheets. But that pain didn’t even compare to the one he felt afterwards. Draco
moved very slowly, but that didn’t prevent the tears from escaping the corner
of Harry’s eyes. Harry felt short of breath, but he didn’t ask Draco to pull
away.

“Harry… I’m sorry… Are you ok?” Draco whispered in his ear.

Harry gazed at Draco and nodded. Indeed, he was feeling different now. He told
Draco to move and cried as a wave of pleasure ran through him. Although the pain
hadn’t abandoned him entirely, the pleasure Harry was feeling was overpowering
it. A sudden heat took over him. An extraordinary sensation burned inside him,
making him pant and cry out for Draco. He felt feverish and sweaty. Draco kissed
him fervently, and Harry felt so light-headed that he thought he would faint. He
smiled and let his soul fly to the highest sky. He was in heaven and he didn’t
want to come down so soon.

/censored/

Later, Draco cleaned their fluids with a flick of his wand and lay next to
Harry, afraid to be pushed away. But he was surprised – and thrilled – to
feel Harry’s arms fold around him. They cuddled, and Draco could feel their
hearts beating together. A feeling of peace as Draco had never felt before
washed over him.

And then Draco knew, with a marvellous but horrified certainty that this was it.
His soul now officially belonged to Harry J. Potter.

--

Bill woke up with a terrible headache, the first in many years. He wondered why
he had a hangover. The last time he had been smashed, it had been three year ago
at one of his brothers’ parties. Motive: a cute and adorable blond that had
bewitched his senses and who was not only too young for him but also happened to
be Fleur’s cousin, his girlfriend at the time.

He scratched his head as the memories of the previous night came back to him.
Once again, he had drunk too much because of a blond. Actually two, because the
same cute blond who had tempted him three years ago had also been at the same
nightclub last night.

He remembered the pain he had felt when he had watched Draco and Harry leaving
together. Not only had Bill confronted his former crush, but he had also
witnessed his boyfriend leaving with another man. And he hadn’t done a thing
to prevent it. He had just let Draco leave with Harry without saying a word.
Bill guessed that he was too old for public displays of jealousy. He had seen
his brothers losing their tempers many times over that, and he didn’t want to
be just another hot-tempered Weasley. Besides, even though a part of him wanted
to fight for Draco like a lion, the other part knew that it would be an unfair
battle since his opponent was Harry Potter.

Bill knew Draco was head over heels for Harry from the beginning, but he had
started a relationship with Draco nonetheless, because he had thought that Harry
would never reciprocate Draco’s feelings, and that Bill’s love would be
enough.

Now he knew he had been very wrong. But then, it was too late. He had taken his
chances and he should be ready to face the consequences. He couldn’t act like
he owned Draco. Draco was free to do whatever he wanted to. And if Draco really
belonged to Bill, then he would come back to him.

He sighed. He loved Draco, but after seeing Jacques again last night, his heart
was divided. He hadn’t seen Jacques for three years. The sixteen-year-old boy
had grown a lot during that time. Now Jacques was nineteen. His silver-blond
hair was almost white and shoulder length. His slim body was more tempting than
ever. The blue eyes had a mischievous twinkle, and his cocky attitude had woken
Bill’s primitive side. It was then that Bill had realised how much Draco
reminded him of Jacques. They were both conceited and devilishly attractive. But
all of their confidence was just an act to hide their true vulnerability and
their need to be loved.

Bill had been so shocked at the sudden realisation that he had poured himself
one drink after another. Was he only attracted to Draco because the blond
reminded him of Jacques? Perhaps that was the truth at the beginning of his
relationship with Draco. He had been attracted by the similarities he had found
between Jacques and Draco. But that wasn’t what he felt anymore. He truly
loved Draco.

And he still loved Jacques.

He was feeling so lost. He wondered if Draco was feeling the same way towards
Harry and him. Maybe this was what Fred wanted them to see by playing his
dangerous matchmaker game. Fred wanted them to confront their feelings, their
true wishes.

Bill had lied to Draco when he had said that Draco had been the first man to
really tempt him. What future could Bill have with Draco if the only reason he
had fallen in love with the blond was because he resembled Jacques?

A soft hand touched his stomach and Bill jumped. He looked beside him and his
heart almost came out of his mouth. He had brought someone home with him. That
someone was sleeping peacefully just a few inches away from him, and was
gloriously naked. Bill’s eyes admired the slender figure, wondering how he
hadn’t noticed before that he wasn’t alone in his bed. His heart skipped a
beat as the person stretched lazily and blinked. Warm blue eyes gazed at him,
and then opened up wide. The blond sat up straight, looking around with
confusion. Bill smirked. Obviously, he hadn’t been the only one too drunk to
remember last night’s events.

“Bill…” the blonde licked his lips and gulped. “Please, don’t hate me.
Please don’t throw me away like you did the last time.”

Those were the last words Bill expected to hear. “Jacques…” he muttered,
not knowing what to say.

“Can we talk before you decide to be all noble and tell me that this wrong and
that I’m too young for you?” Jacques said at once. “I’m not so young
anymore. I’m nineteen. And this time I won’t let my parents interfere in my
life. I don’t care about Fleur either. I came back for you, and this time
I’ll stay and fight.”



                                Kapitel 25: 25.
                                ---------------


25.
It was an awkward moment when Draco woke up a little before 6:00 A.M. – having
slept only one hour total that night – and caught Harry staring at him. While
Draco flushed under Harry’s intense gaze, Harry didn’t seem embarrassed at
all. It seemed as if Harry had lost most of his inhibitions after the first time
they had had sex. Draco was still stunned by how many condoms they had used.
Once Harry had gotten past his fears, he had become a wild sex machine, always
demanding more. They had loved each other far into the night.

It was like a sweet addiction. They just couldn’t get enough of each other.
Even after achieving orgasm, they had still felt the need to touch each other,
to kiss and cuddle. And now Draco was worn out. He felt as if he could sleep for
days. He was glad that it was Sunday and he didn’t have to go to work.

Draco had to admit that he had been very afraid of their morning after. He
feared that Harry would regret everything and go back to his bastard behaviour.
Harry’s poker face wasn’t helping. As far as Draco could tell, Harry could
be thinking of ways to either throw him out or shag him senseless. Harry’s
eyes on him were making him nervous.

“What are you looking at?” Draco asked finally.

Harry just shrugged. He wouldn’t tell Draco that he just couldn’t stop
looking at him and drooling over his perfection. It would be too embarrassing.
“Am I not allowed to look at you?” Harry asked playfully.

Draco almost breathed in relief. Harry wasn’t angry with him. That was a very
good sign. Draco suppressed a smile, trying to remain as impassive as possible
when he said, “You have to pay a fee to admire me. And I must warn you that I
am very expensive.”

Harry raised an eyebrow, amused. “I always knew you were a gigolo.”

“Hey!” Draco complained, making a face. Harry touched Draco’s face with
his fingertips, stroking his cheeks, nose, lips and chin. “If you keep
touching me like this,” said Draco, purring under Harry’s touch. “It will
cost you.”

“How much?” Harry asked, the green eyes darkening from desire.

Draco bit his lower lip thoughtfully. “Let me think…”

“And here I was thinking that you already had a price list somewhere…”
Harry joked and then chuckled as Draco pinched him.

“Don’t provoke me, Potter. I might raise my prices in a way that you won’t
be able to afford me ever.”

“Name your price. I’m very rich, Malfoy. I can afford you.”

Draco leaned his elbows on the bed and said, “My price isn’t measured in
money. It will all depend on your kiss. If your kiss pleases me, then you can
have me.”

“Piece of cake, then.” Harry put a hand around Draco’s neck and pulled his
face down to kiss him. Draco melted in his arms. “See? I told you it would be
easy.”

“Stupid bastard…” Draco muttered tenderly. Draco kissed Harry on the lips
once more and then rested his head on Harry’s chest. His happiness was
ballooning so much he thought he would explode in little giggles like a
schoolgirl. Who would have thought that after so many fights and struggles he
would be cuddling with Harry in bed? And the best thing of all, Harry wasn’t
fighting with him but teasing Draco.

Draco wanted to stay forever in Harry’s arms. He felt as if he belonged
there.

“Unfortunately for you, Potter, I’m closed for business,” Draco said,
giving Harry the opposite idea as his fingertips drew small circles in Harry’s
navel. “Someone exhausted me last night. I don’t think I can do anything
now. My body is hurting in places I had never thought about. Where did you find
all that energy?”

“I’m very surprised myself. But there were consequences. My body is in pain.
I don’t think I can walk today. You’ll have to fix me my breakfast.” Draco
bit Harry’s nipple hard. “Ouch! What was that for?”

“I’m not getting out of this bed, Potter. I’m the one who has to work
tomorrow. You go fix me breakfast for a change.”

Harry caressed Draco’s hair softly. “I can’t. Maybe later. I’m feeling
very lazy at the moment. And just for the record, I have stuff to do tomorrow,
too.”

Draco frowned. He had always been curious about how Harry spent his days being
all alone in that house and practically not going anywhere. “What exactly do
you have to do?”

Harry moved uncomfortably. “Just stuff.” The annoyance in Harry’s voice
was the cue for Draco to drop the subject. Draco felt like slapping himself for
bringing it up in the first place. He should be glad enough that Harry was being
so receptive and tender to him. Harry Potter remained a mystery to him, and he
figured that Harry would ever be a mystery. Draco just prayed for Harry to stay
in his good mood for the rest of the day, which meant that Draco should avoid
personal subjects. But what could he do? Now that he had Harry, Draco wanted all
of him, not just bits. Even so, he had to comply with the fact that it was still
too soon to demand more from Harry. Harry had already surprised him so much.

Draco closed his eyes and listened to Harry’s steady heartbeat. After a while,
he asked in a whisper, “So, why were you looking at me like that?”

Harry licked his lips and ran his fingers along Draco’s right arm in a tender
caress, smiling softly at Draco’s curiosity. “I was just thinking about how
odd it was to wake up by my enemy’s side…” Draco felt a pang in his heart.
He squeezed his eyelids shut as he waited for the rest of Harry’s sentence.
“… and how amazing it felt.” Draco felt his heart leaping, and he opened
up a big smile. “I never thought you and I would be like this someday.”

“Me either,” Draco said. He was telling the truth. He had never thought that
what he had wished to come true a thousand times in his dreams would have become
reality someday.

“I think this was what Ginny was talking about…”

Draco raised his head to stare at Harry. Ginny’s name was the last thing he
had expected to hear while they were in bed together. “What?”

Harry hesitated. He opened his mouth twice and then closed it without saying a
word. It was if he was pondering what to say. Draco’s curiosity reached its
limits. He wanted to shake Harry and make him spill it at once.

“Ginny talked about you and me?” Draco asked, unable to hold his tongue. He
knew Harry would be irritated, but he just couldn’t hold himself. He wasn’t
wrong. Harry tensed under him.

Draco and Ginny had never gotten along. Draco still couldn’t forget how she
had jinxed him in Umbridge’s office in his fifth year at school. But most of
all, he couldn’t forget the fact that she had been the most important person
in Harry’s life and she had blown it.

“No, that’s not it,” Harry said uncomfortably.

“Then what is it?” Draco insisted, forgetting that he was stepping on
landmines.

“Never mind. Just forget about it,” Harry said, upset. He wasn’t ready to
tell Draco what Ginny had said to him when they had broken up. Ginny had told
him that one day Harry would find his true match, the one who would sweep him
off his feet and make him light-headed; who would capture his heart and be his
soul mate. As Draco lay on top of him, Harry had remembered those words, and
they hit him hard. But he couldn’t tell Draco those things. It was too soon to
be so much in love, wasn’t it? Harry couldn’t be in love with someone he had
hated all of his life just like that. Nothing had really changed between him and
Draco, except for the fact that they were now shagging.

Harry felt Draco wince and move away from him, but before Draco could go any
further, Harry’s arms wrapped up around Draco’s waist and brought him closer
again. “I’m sorry if I was rude. I just don’t want to talk about this.”

Harry waited for Draco’s response with his heart in his mouth. He wasn’t
ready to be without Draco’s warmth. Not when he hadn’t felt that peaceful in
years. He wanted to hold onto those feelings, whatever they were, for as long as
he could.

Draco nodded and relaxed again. The blonde leaned himself comfortably against
Harry’s chest, their hips aligned. Harry felt his cock react to Draco’s
proximity and wondered if a person could die from too much sex. He buried his
nose in Draco’s neck, inebriate with his scent. He turned Draco’s head
towards him and kissed him on the lips passionately. They broke the kiss
panting.

“I can’t believe Ginny broke up with you,” Draco muttered, cooling
Harry’s passion down. Harry sighed, annoyed.

“Why are we still talking about Ginny?”

“You started it!” Draco said defensively. “I’m a curious person. I
can’t help it.”

“It’s more like you’re jealous.”

“Jealous?” Draco snorted. “I’m not jealous of that skinny and flat
girl.”

“Ginny isn’t flat. She has very beautiful breasts.”

Draco grunted. He wanted to turn around and smack Harry for talking about
breasts while they were entangled in each other’s arms. “Why did she break
up with you?”

Harry wrinkled his forehead, irritated. “Merlin! You sound like a girl… Why
do you want to know?”

Draco turned around, fuming. “This is the second time you’ve compared me to
a girl! If you want one so much, then go sleep with one!”

Harry’s mouth hung open in total astonishment. “What?” He held Draco’s
arms firmly as the blonde tried to escape him. “What the hell are you talking
about? When did I compare you to a girl?”

“First you talk about Ginny’s breasts, obviously disappointed with the fact
that I don’t have any!” Draco pointed out. “Then you tell me that I sound
like a girl… That’s too much!”

Harry was so stunned he didn’t know what to say. “I’m… I’m not
disappointed… I mean… You were the one who brought it up! I have nothing
against your chest! I…” And then Harry couldn’t hold himself any longer.
He began to laugh.

“It isn’t funny!” Draco shouted.

“It’s hilarious!” Harry cackled. “You are so jealous!”

Draco felt his blood boiling. He jumped on top of Harry and tried to hit him,
but Harry just switched their positions and pinned Draco’s hands on the
mattress.

“You do sound like a girl,” Harry stated and kissed Draco before the blonde
could curse him.

When they parted, Draco was still angry. “You won’t get away so easily,
Potter.”

“All right. First of all, I definitely don’t think of you as a girl. I was
only joking.”

“But you resent me because I’m not one.” Draco bit his tongue hard for
sounding so pathetically weak.

Harry shook his head. “I would be a very sick person if that was the case. I
wouldn’t have had sex with you if I didn’t want to. I thought I had made my
point clear already. Do I have to prove to you once again that you turn me
on?”

“I wouldn’t mind…” Draco said, almost pouting. Harry caught one of his
hands and brought it to his cock.

“What do you think? Does it look like I don’t want you?”

Draco arched his eyebrows and then gulped as he felt Harry’s hard length with
his hands. “I guess so. But you can’t blame me for being suspicious, Potter.
You were the one who wouldn’t allow me to touch you. Now you can’t take your
hands off me. Forgive me for being a little confused,” Draco sneered.

Harry sighed, defeated. “You do have a point. But like I said, my problem with
you is not only because you’re a man. It’s because you’ve made my life
very miserable!”

“Ahá!” Draco said victoriously. “You said ‘not only’! Then you do
have a problem with it!”

“What did you expect? I was never involved with another male! You’re the
first! Can you blame me for being confused?”

No, Draco couldn’t blame Harry. In fact, Draco shouldn’t have asked those
things at all. They had had a terrific night. Why did he have to spoil it with
his insecurities? He was in bed with Harry Potter, the same Harry Potter that he
had madly fallen in love with in his seventh year. He should just relax and
enjoy the ride. His fantasy had turned into reality. He should take advantage of
it. Why was he being so emotional? It wasn’t like him at all.

“Here’s the truth about me and Ginny,” Harry began, taking Draco by
surprise. Draco didn’t know if he really wanted to hear about Ginny and Harry,
but he just let Harry continue, “She didn’t break up with me. It was a
mutual decision. I mean, come on. I was seventeen. She was even younger. I
proposed to her in an act of despair because I thought I was going to die. I
know this seems stupid… It really was. But I truly liked her. I still do. It
was just… We were together not because we were in love with each other.”

“Then why?” Draco asked.

Harry sighed tiredly. “For so many reasons… For her family and the fact that
I thought it was the right thing to do. It was what everybody wanted. Besides,
she was different from the others. She was so brave and she raised my spirit
every time I was down. We mixed up friendship with love.”

“Was she pregnant?” Draco asked suspiciously.

“No!” Harry exclaimed immediately. “She wasn’t pregnant! If she was I
would have definitely married her.” Harry lay beside Draco and stared at the
ceiling. “I was catatonic for three months after battling Voldemort. When I
got out of it, it was just two months before Graduation. I spent one in St.
Mungo’s trying to recover and go back to the real world. The last month I
spent in Hogwarts, everything was alien to me, including my relationship with
Ginny. I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. I was just a stranger in a
strange place.” He glanced at Draco, who had his full attention on Harry’s
words. “And it suddenly became very obvious how ridiculous it was that I was
engaged to Ginny at the age of seventeen. It was even more ridiculous because I
was a wreck. What kind of life could I have offered her? I was broken. And she
noticed this. She knew how I felt. She knew I couldn’t go on with our plans.

“On Graduation night, I asked for her forgiveness and told her I couldn’t
marry her. She was very understanding. I felt like a real bastard…”

“But everybody said that she had broken up with you,” Draco said.

Harry grimaced. “Rubbish. Rubbish from stupid gossip magazines. I asked Ginny
if she wanted me to tell the truth to the press, but she said she didn’t care
about other people’s opinion.”

“How convenient for her…” Draco muttered. “So you don’t love her.”

“No.”

“But she loves you.”

Harry smiled. “I don’t think so. Ginny got over me a long time ago.”

Draco grunted. “I wouldn’t be so sure…” He stared at Harry with an
unpleasant face. “You’re a real bastard. Every time I’m mad at you, you
totally change the subject and tell me something about yourself that no one else
knows! This isn’t fair, you know?”

“It isn’t fair that you don’t tell me anything about you,” Harry pointed
out. “And that pisses me off quite a bit.”

“There’s nothing to tell about my life. You already know about my family’s
connections with dark magic and illegal business. I think that’s more than
enough,” Draco said, averting Harry’s eyes.

“It isn’t nearly enough, and you know it.”

Draco sighed. “Why do we have to spoil the mood with unpleasant subjects?”

Harry bit his lower lip. “It’s only normal that I want to know more about
what has happened to you that turned you into who you are today. I admit that
you’ve changed, a lot. Although you still annoy me sometimes, you are
different. You’re strong and self-sufficient. That much I can tell. But I can
also tell that sometimes you have this look… I don’t know… it’s like a
deep sadness overtakes your eyes… like this sudden shadow falls upon them,
taking away their sparkle. You look so lost when that happens.”

Draco sniggered, but deep down he was touched. “What are you, a bloody poet?
Shadow in my eyes… deep sadness… Honestly…” Draco rolled his eyes.
“Perhaps I just feel bored sometimes.”

“Perhaps.” But Harry didn’t seem to believe that.

Draco felt his hands shake as the memories of the post-Hogwarts events came back
to him. He took a deep breath, ordering himself to get a grip. He had gotten
over that. Lucky for him, he was a master at disguising his true feelings. It
wasn’t so difficult to put his past behind him and smile mischievously at
Harry as if nothing had been said. “You seem to be paying a lot of attention
to me, Potter.”

Harry smiled back at him. “Don’t get too cocky, Malfoy.”

“I’m just stating a fact.”

Harry rolled on top of him and touched their foreheads together. “So, are you
open for business now?”

“I don’t know… It depends…” Harry kissed Draco leisurely, touching the
pink lips tenderly with his teeth and then licking it. Draco stroked Harry’s
cock with one hand and squeezed Harry’s ass with the other, bringing them
closer. Harry began to rub his body against Draco, making the blonde moan and
kiss him passionately.

“You can’t avoid things forever,” Harry muttered in Draco’s ear as his
hand enfolded Draco’s cock and gave it a stroke.

Draco shivered, not only because of Harry’s words, but also because Harry
seemed to have stripped himself from all of his initial shyness.

“Oh, but you can?” Draco replied with the same soft tone of voice.

“Touché.” Harry smiled feebly and then moaned as Draco’s skilful tongue
captured his lips.



                                Kapitel 26: 26.
                                ---------------


26.
“Draco, did you already write that report on the pixies that were living in
the London subway?” Hermione said, consulting her own notes about the subject.
There was no response. She arched her eyebrows and looked up at Draco.

Not for the first time that day, Draco’s mind was somewhere else. Ever since
they had arrived at the office, Draco had been daydreaming and sighing every two
minutes. Their boss had already tried to get his attention four times, but
nothing seemed to take Draco out of his reverie. Hermione had never seen him
like this.

She wondered what exactly had happened between him and Harry after they had left
the nightclub together. Actually, she was dying to know, considering that she
and Fred had plotted the whole thing. But she knew that Draco wouldn’t tell
her anything unless he wanted to – and that was very rare. Only occasionally
would Draco confide in her about his relationships. Her partner liked to keep
his private thoughts and feelings to himself. It was the way he had been raised
and Hermione respected that. But that didn’t stop her from being curious. She
could try to convince Ron to make Harry talk, but she knew Ron would never get
anything from Harry, unless Harry was in a good mood – which was also rare.
Therefore she would have a better shot than Ron at gleaning information.

By the look on Draco’s face, her plan had probably worked. He was glowing.
Every now and then she caught a goofy smile on his face. She had never seen him
smiling like that. It was so obvious that he was in love. She bit her tongue
hard to stop herself from asking him anything, because she knew that if she did
he would tell her to mind her own business. But no matter how happy she was for
him and Harry, and how much she wanted to know every little dirty detail of
their relationship, they still had work to do.

“Draco!” she called again, much louder this time.

Draco blinked and then frowned at her distractedly. “What?”

“Have you finished the report?” He frowned even more and she sighed. “The
report… about the pixies… in the subway…” Draco stared at her as if she
were speaking another language. She smiled. “Earth to Draco. I’m talking
about that report you told me you were going to work on this weekend.”

Draco flushed slightly and then shrugged. “Oh. I… erm… I haven’t
finished it yet.”

Hermione bit her lower lip to prevent a wicked smile. “What did you do all
Sunday?” she asked with phoney innocence.

Draco’s face went extremely red as the memories of the day before flashed
through his mind. He and Harry had spent most of the day in bed, discovering
each other’s bodies and pleasures, only stopping to have something to eat or
take a quick shower – that had turned out to be one the most erotic
experiences of his life. When night had fallen, they had slept for twelve hours
straight, a record for Draco, who was used to sleeping only six hours a day.

Then that same morning Draco had almost lost track of time as Harry had made him
breakfast for a change. He was trying to come back to earth, but he was doing a
lousy job so far. No wonder he couldn’t concentrate on his work. His mind kept
drifting to Harry and their amazing moments spent together. He still couldn’t
believe they had done all that. Not with ‘Harry-don’t-touch-me-Potter’. He
couldn’t believe in anything anymore. It was like he was living a dream and he
was afraid of waking up to reality. The weekend had been amazingly surreal, to
say the least.

“Draco!” Hermione’s voice interrupted him again.

He sighed, annoyed. Why couldn’t she leave him alone in his dreamland? Who
cared about pixies in the London subway anyway? He’d had sex with Harry
Potter. Nothing was more important than that. “What?” he asked, knowing
fully well that Hermione was dying to ask him about Harry. He was surprised that
she hadn’t said anything yet. Then again, with Hermione it was always business
first, pleasure later.

“Did something happen between you and Harry?” she asked bluntly.

‘There you go.’ Draco could feel his cheeks getting hot once again. “Why
are you asking?” He pretended not to notice her sharp eyes on him.

“I saw you two leaving Scintillation together on Saturday. You seemed to be in
a rush,” she said with a bit of malice in her voice.

Draco made a face. “Mind your own business, dear partner.”

She wrinkled her nose. “How rude! I just want to know what happened. After
all…”

“After all, you and Fred are the matchmakers from hell, aren’t you?” he
sneered. “Don’t you two ever get tired of playing with other people’s
lives?”

She turned her eyes to her paperwork and shrugged. “I don’t know what
you’re talking about. We’re just trying to help two dumb friends figure out
what they really want.”

Draco sighed. “You know, sometimes I’m slow to get things, but I do get them
eventually. I know that you and Fred plotted for me and Harry to get together.
And when I saw the look on Fred’s face last night, I knew I was right.”

She glanced at him. “I was wondering when you were going to figure out our
true intentions… Harry already confronted Fred about it.”

Draco almost fell off his chair. “Are you saying that Harry knows about your
crazy plan to get us together?” he asked, baffled.

She seemed slightly embarrassed. “Yes, he does.”

“He knows?” Draco was completely astonished now.

“Yes.” She looked at him with the eyes of someone who had been caught doing
something wrong and was now trying to get away with it by playing the victim.

“What did Harry say? How did he react? Why didn’t he kick me out? Since when
does he know?” Draco asked hastily as millions of questions popped up in his
mind.

Hermione bit her lower lip. “Well… He’s known about it for a while now…
He didn’t take it nicely, of course. But then Fred managed to calm him down
and made him see the big picture. Fred told me that Harry seemed really lost,
but that there was hope for him.”

“I’m going to kill Fred,” Draco muttered, sulking. “Why didn’t you
tell me about this before?”

She just shrugged. “What for? I thought I should give Harry the space he
needed to come out of his shell on his own. If I had told you, the whole mood
between you two would have changed for the worse. Harry would have gotten even
more defensive, because then he would have known that you knew about our plan
too. And then he would have been mad at you, and blamed you for playing along
with us… And he would have accused you of playing with him. And…”

“Ok, that’s enough,” Draco said, cutting her off. He hated when she did
that. Every time Hermione felt like she was being pressured, she rambled.

“Why does it matter anyway?” she asked. “He didn’t throw you out.
Besides, Fred made him think seriously about his feelings for you for the first
time in his life.”

“This is a very dangerous game, you know?” Draco scolded. “A lot of people
could get hurt!”

Hermione sank in her chair. “I know. Bill really seems to like you…”

Draco jumped at the mention of Bill. He had completely forgotten about his
boyfriend. He went pale and then he felt a little sick. He needed to talk to
Bill, but he didn’t know what he was supposed to say. It wasn’t as if Harry
and Draco were in a serious relationship, so it was too soon to break up with
Bill. But then again, how could Draco go on with his relationship with Bill
after sleeping with Harry, especially now that he knew for sure that his heart
belonged to Harry? It wasn’t fair to Bill. Draco didn’t have a right to play
with Bill’s heart like that.

He closed his eyes to calm down. He needed fresh air or else he would start
hyperventilating. He felt as if the walls were closing in on him. But even
though he seemed about to have a nervous breakdown, he still gathered enough
courage to ask her about Bill.

“Did you talk to Bill after I left on Saturday?”

Hermione shook her head. “No, I’m sorry. You haven’t spoken to him either,
have you?”

“No,” Draco answered feebly.

Hermione felt the consequences of her impulsive actions for the first time. She
had wanted to play the matchmaker because she thought Draco and Harry were meant
to be. She didn’t want anyone to suffer in the process. She thought that Bill
and Draco weren’t in a serious relationship, because they hadn’t told anyone
about it. But maybe she was wrong.

“I’m sorry, Draco,” she said, knowing that a thousand apologies wouldn’t
be enough.

Draco waved his hand as if he didn’t care, but she knew better. He leaned
against his chair thoughtfully. He didn’t know what he should say to Bill or
even if he should say something about Harry. Bill had given Draco permission to
sleep with Harry. The only thing Bill had asked of him was for Draco to come
back to him after the month was over.

Draco buried his fingers in his hair tiredly. He didn’t know what he was
supposed to do now. But he knew one thing for sure; he wasn’t ready to give up
on Harry just yet.

--

“… So now my mother is using emotional blackmail to convince me and Hermione
to have a baby. She keeps telling me that she isn’t getting any younger, and
that she wants to meet her grandchildren before passing away… Isn’t that
ridiculous? I don’t know what to do anymore… It’s so bothersome. I’m the
only one married, though. It’s only natural that she keeps bugging me about
these things. But we can’t have a baby now. Hermione is doing great in her
job, and if you ask me, she works way too much. But that’s ‘Mione and…
Harry? Harry? Are you listening? Harry!”

Harry blinked a few times and stared at Ron as if he had just realised that Ron
was there. “What?”

Ron frowned. He should have been used to Harry’s weirdness by now, but Harry
was stranger than usual today. For one thing, Harry had been the one to call Ron
and invite him to go shopping. Harry had never done that, so Ron had agreed
right away, knowing fully well that his coach would be pissed off with him for
skipping training. He should have known that something was wrong with his best
friend. Harry wasn’t listening to a word of what Ron was saying. The brunet
had been spacing out from the start. And the strangest thing was that he kept
catching dreamy smiles on Harry’s face from time to time followed by heavy
sighs.

“Come on, spit it out. What’s happened to you?” Ron asked. “You seem…
enraptured.”

Harry smiled at the choice of word. “Enraptured? What are you talking
about?”

“Please, Harry! Something very good must have happened to you! It seems as if
you had the shag of your life this weekend.” Harry’s face went scarlet and
Ron exclaimed in triumph. “I knew it! There’s definitely something different
about you today. It’s been so long since the last time I saw you smiling like
this! So, who was the lucky lady?”

Harry’s face went so red he thought steam would come out of his ears. “There
was no lady,” he muttered, turning his head away to avoid Ron’s look of
curiosity.

“What?”

“I said,” Harry mumbled, “that there was no lady.”

“Well, if there was no lady, then…” Ron stared at Harry, confused for a
moment, and then he gasped. “No!! No way!! Tell me it isn’t true, Harry!”

Harry looked at Ron with a mix of embarrassment and amusement. “How can I tell
you it isn’t true if I don’t know what you’re thinking?”

“I’m not stupid, you know? No matter what Fred and George say, I get things.
You left the nightclub with Malfoy. We both know Fred and Hermione are trying to
get you and that prick together. Hermione was thrilled when she saw you leaving
with him, but I told her that you would never… not in a million years…
because you are straight… and… And yet you did! YOU’VE SLEPT WITH MALFOY,
HAVEN’T YOU?”

Some passer-bys stared at them and Harry sent Ron a murderous look. “Would you
mind not sharing my private affairs with the whole world? Colin might be
around!” Harry looked around apprehensively. The last thing he wanted was his
affair with Malfoy on the front page of The Daily Prophet.

Ron scratched his head and said embarrassedly, “Sorry, but can you blame me?
I’m shocked! I was surprised enough when I found out about Bill and Malfoy.
But now you too… How could you, Harry? What kind of spell does he have? I’ve
heard somewhere he’s half-Veela… You were very straight last time I’ve
checked, or so I’ve thought!”

Harry felt something funny at the bottom of his stomach at the mention of Bill.
He didn’t want to think about Bill and Draco. Every time he thought about
them, he felt sick. There was no way Draco could be in love with Bill after last
weekend. And Harry was certain that Bill wasn’t in love with Draco either,
otherwise he would have fought for Draco. At least Harry would have. And that
was what was bothering him the most.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Draco. It was as if they were opposite magnets
that once put together couldn’t stay apart anymore. Physically, one completed
the other perfectly. Harry could still feel Draco all over his body. He was
feeling drained after spending so much time in bed, but at the same time he felt
elated and fulfilled. He couldn’t get enough of it. He wanted to feel
Draco’s touch again. He had never thought it would be that good to just give
himself away.

“Fuck, Harry. You aren’t listening to a word I’m saying…” Ron made a
face. “Are you in love with him?”

Harry wrinkled his forehead. “No, of course not.” Wasn’t he? How could he
tell, really? These emotions were new to him. He could be in love. It wasn’t
impossible. After all, he was behaving strangely. He wondered if his heart would
beat erratically at the sight of Draco just like it was beating now with just
the thought of him. In fact, would his heart ever beat normally again?

“Then what is it? Are you just curious?” Ron insisted, making Harry slightly
irritated.

Harry bit his lower lip thoughtfully and then shrugged. He had been curious at
the beginning, especially after their first kiss. But if it was only out of
curiosity that he had slept with Malfoy, one time would have been enough. And to
him it was far from being enough. He wanted more of Draco.

“Well, at least Hermione will be happy…” Ron said when it became clear
that Harry wouldn’t answer him.

“No! You have to promise me you won’t tell her! I don’t want to give her
that satisfaction! Promise me, Ron!” Harry said in haste. “She had no right
to meddle in my life like she did. Besides, there’s nothing official going on
between Malfoy and me. We are just… fooling around.” The moment Harry said
that, he felt a pressure in his heart. It didn’t sound right at all.

Ron wasn’t happy with Hermione’s nosy behaviour either. He was even angrier
that she had joined forces with Fred of all people. But she was his wife. He
hated to keep things from her. Still, he couldn’t say no to Harry, especially
now that Harry had come to him for support. Harry hadn’t done that in a long
time. Even if Harry was sleeping with Malfoy, Ron had to show his support.

“Ok,” Ron said, resigned. “I promise. It will be really hard, though. You
know how Hermione is. She can always tell when I’m hiding something.”

“I just don’t want Fred and Hermione to meddle in my business more than they
already have. Whatever is going on between me and Malfoy, it’s between me and
Malfoy and nobody else.”

“Ok. As long as you don’t get hurt, Harry… I still don’t like him. I
know he has suffered a lot, but–”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, cutting him off immediately. “Do you know
what happened to him after our graduation?”

“No, not really. All I know is that he looked really bad when my mother took
him in. I guess it was six months after we graduated… My mother went to Diagon
Alley and brought Malfoy home with her like he was some stray cat. He resembled
nothing of the arrogant Malfoy we once knew. Even though his tongue was still
sharp, he looked… beaten. Mom said he had gone through some difficult times
and needed some time to think things over. But she never told me what happened
to him.”

Harry stayed quiet, lost in his thoughts. He knew something big must have
happened to make Draco change so much. Harry wanted to know more about the past
Draco was hiding. He would be able to understand Draco better. But Draco
didn’t want to talk to him about his past. He was very secretive about it.

Harry vaguely remembered reading some news about Lucius Malfoy’s imprisonment
in The Daily Prophet right after Voldemort was killed, but there wasn’t much
about Draco. Even if he had read something about Draco at the time, he would
have just ignored it.

Harry didn’t have a right to insist on the matter, because he also didn’t
want to talk about his own problems. He was facing a dilemma. If he wanted Draco
to open up to him, he would have to do it first, and he wasn’t ready yet.
Besides, it wasn’t as if they were in a serious relationship. It was only
physical and that was the way things were supposed to be.

But at the same time his mind told him that, his heart screamed something else
altogether. He sighed deeply and then turned his head to his right. ‘One thing
at a time,’ he thought. ‘Now it’s time to shop.’

He turned to look at Ron and said, “Are you disgusted with me?”

Ron frowned. “No, of course not! Your love life concerns only you, Harry. I
don’t care if you think that Malfoy is the one for you as long as you’re
happy. And I can see that you are, Harry. It is sort of creepy, but you’re my
friend.”

Harry smiled shyly. He was feeling quite light-headed that day, like he hadn’t
felt in a long time. And it was all because of Draco. He wasn’t sure that
Draco was the one for him. The thought was quite scary. But it was enough that
he was enjoying spending time with Draco and sharing his bed with him; it
didn’t matter how surreal it all seemed. So he put his confusion aside and
decided to just enjoy life without analysing things too much. He deserved to
loosen up a bit.

He grabbed Ron by his sleeve and dragged his friend to the nearest store. Ron
looked at him with amusement as Harry chose some clothes to try on.

“What?” Harry asked.

“You are definitely strange, Harry,” Ron said with a smile. “So we came
here to buy new clothes?”

“Of course! And then I’ll buy you some coffee,” Harry said, vanishing
behind the dressing room with a mountain of shirts and pants in his arms. He
bought himself a whole new set of clothes, and later on, when he and Ron were
sitting in a nearby cafe, Ron asked him why he was suddenly interested in
renewing his wardrobe.

Harry just shrugged, but he felt his cheeks getting hot from embarrassment.

“Please, don’t tell me it’s because of him…” Ron said rolling his
eyes.

“It isn’t,” Harry stated, lying shamelessly. “I just realised this
morning that my wardrobe sucks…”

He couldn’t tell Ron that he had felt restless about himself that morning as
he had gazed at how perfect Draco looked whilst Harry looked like trash. He had
suddenly felt the need to dress up and look good. Bill always wore very classy
clothes, and looked as perfect as Draco. Harry didn’t like to think that he
was seeing Bill as a rival but he was. As he had stared at the mirror that same
morning, he had hated his own image. He couldn’t tell why Draco was attracted
to him at all and why he wanted Harry if he could have Bill. So maybe if Harry
bought new clothes, he wouldn’t feel so inferior to Bill Weasley - who was not
only very handsome, but also dressed really well, cooked superbly and had an
excellent job.

Harry sulked at the thought. Compared to Bill, he was nothing. “What do you
know about Bill and Malfoy’s relationship, Ron?” Harry asked, trying to
sound indifferent.

Ron arched an eyebrow and smirked. “Jealous already?”

Harry made a face. “I just want to know where I stand.”

“I don’t know. Bill hadn’t introduced Malfoy as his boyfriend yet. All of
my brothers know about it, but my parents don’t. I don’t know what Bill
really feels for Malfoy. Fred told me that Bill likes him, but he also told me
that Bill loves someone else.”

“Who?”

“I have no idea.”

Harry took a sip of his coffee and then sighed heavily. “What am I doing,
Ron?”

“That was only a rhetorical question, right? You know I’m the worst person
for you to ask for advice.”

Harry smiled feebly. “I’m really confused, you know? I wonder if I’m
losing my mind for good. I never thought I would find myself in this situation.
I never thought I would sleep with Malfoy and like it. And he’s not even free.
He has Bill as a boyfriend, and I really like Bill. But suddenly I don’t like
Bill that much and that’s really upsetting.”

Ron looked at him with pity. “I think you’re in love, Harry.”

Harry felt his heart skipping a beat. “No, I’m not. It’s just a crush… I
can’t be in love with him. Not this fast. A few days ago I was ready to
strangle him. He still annoys me.”

“Hermione used to annoy me too. Sometimes she still does,” Ron said fondly.

“But we were enemies. I hated him and he hated me,” Harry pointed out, more
to convince himself than Ron.

“I don’t understand love either, Harry. I’d never thought about Hermione
as anything but a friend, and then one day I started to look at her in a whole
new way. And before I knew it, I realised I loved her. She’s everything to me.
I can’t picture myself without her anymore.”

“But it’s different with you. You and Hermione were friends first.”

“I don’t think there’s a mould for love… And Hermione and I got on each
other’s nerves a lot... But I understand you, Harry. Malfoy is such a pain in
the ass.”

Harry nodded absently as he took another sip of his coffee. “Maybe it’s all
because of our bond…”

“Bond?”

“Malfoy and I share a bond of life and death,” Harry explained and then
smiled at Ron’s horrified expression. “He saved my life once. But don’t
tell this to Hermione either.”

“I won’t. Thanks for confiding in me like this, Harry.” Harry had changed
drastically after Sirius’ death. He had become more taciturn and quiet. Only
rarely would he confide his feelings to Ron. Ron was touched about the way Harry
was so open today. He figured that if Malfoy had that effect on Harry, than he
couldn’t be that bad. “Do you think the bond has something to do with the
fact that you’re sleeping with Malfoy?”

“Maybe. I dunno. It could be. I don’t know anything about bonds. Do you?”

Ron shook his head. “No. But Hermione…” Harry interrupted him with a grunt
and Ron said, “Well, she is the only person I can think of to help you out
with this. But maybe what you’re feeling right now has nothing to do with this
bond. If bonds were really that important, we would have studied them.”

Ron did have a point. Harry hadn’t heard of bonds anywhere, not even when he
was studying to become an Auror. He should stop trying to put the blame on
something else other than his heart. His heart was to blame. His heart was too
tired to live alone. Harry had wanted to feel something that strong for a long
time. He just had been too scared to admit it. Malfoy had touched his heart in a
way that no woman had. But what if everything was just an illusion?

“Is it wrong for me to just… surrender myself?” Harry asked, not quite
believing he was asking that kind of stuff to Ron, who was as dense as Harry was
when it came to emotions.

Ron bit his lower lip thoughtfully. “I don’t know. But I can see how
different you are. If he can make you feel this way, then how could it be
wrong?”

Harry was surprised at Ron’s answer. In fact, he was surprised about Ron’s
reactions to everything. He had thought Ron would freak out and never speak to
him again. But he had been thinking about the Ron of the past. This Ron was more
mature. This Ron made Harry realise just how much he had lost by staying hidden
in his shell for all those years. He didn’t know his friends anymore. He felt
suddenly sad at how much time he had wasted sulking in his house. He decided it
was time to change.



                                Kapitel 27: 27.
                                ---------------


27.
A grumpy Draco arrived at number 12, Grimmauld Place, at precisely 5:00 P.M.
after being scolded by his chief Jonah Garfunkel for pretending to work all day.
In fact, continued the chief, Draco had been doing that a lot for the past few
months. Jonah ended his harsh speech insinuating that it was no wonder Draco was
a Malfoy, because everybody knew that Malfoys had a problem with ordinary hard
work. And if Draco had a problem with that, he might as well go back to his
Mansion and become a true aristocrat by doing nothing but ordering people around
with absurd requests. That was what rich people were for.

Draco had swallowed his anger for two reasons. One, Malfoys had really never
worked in their lives but actually lived by other people’s work – and the
family business had always been doing something illegal. Second, because he
didn’t want to get fired. Even though he was a lazy Auror, he liked the
profession. He had found himself there.

Unfortunately, his family past would always testify against him, no matter what
he did or where he went. There would always be people like Chief Jonah to throw
the Malfoy dirt on his face.

Before he entered Harry’s house, he took a deep breath and counted to ten to
cool down his head. His anger was still wavering. Since Harry also had mood
swings, Draco wanted to be prepared. He didn’t want to fight Harry anymore,
especially after the weekend they spent together. But with Harry you never knew.
Draco’s doubts were making him feel vulnerable and therefore more defensive
than usual. His state of mind was so disturbing that his head began to ache.

He was about to go to his room and sulk when he heard a guitar being strummed
and a soft but tuneless voice singing. The sound was coming from the living
room. He walked towards it as if he was enchanted, and for a moment he stopped
to frown at Mrs. Black, who was wearing big earmuffs and cursing under her
breath. She snorted when she saw him and looked the other way. She had been
ignoring Harry and Draco ever since they had passed by the corridor half-naked
the previous day.

He rolled his eyes at her, thankful that she wasn’t shrieking in his ears
about ‘obscenities being made in her ancient and conservative house’
anymore. He began to walk again and only stopped when he reached the door of the
living room.

The first thing that shocked him was to see Harry in brand new clothes instead
of his usual faded jeans and old white T-shirt. The dark blue jeans and red
shirt seemed to fit him perfectly. The untamed raven hair was fashionably messy,
giving Harry a ‘ravish me now’ look.

Draco felt his heart beating faster and he wondered if Harry had dressed up
because of him. He took that as a good sign. It meant that Harry wouldn’t
freak out about the weekend, call Draco names and then throw him out. His
headache suddenly didn’t seem to bother him so much. But that lasted just a
few seconds before he noticed the second shocking thing about Harry.

The brunet had a guitar in his hands and he was singing. And if that wasn’t
shocking enough, the lyrics to the song were. Gulping and clenching his fists on
the strap of his briefcase, he listened, “... love is a special thing, lovers
only need honesty... two hearts the same beating in the name of romance. And I
don’t care who gives in... ‘cause it’s only a game, the end it’s just
the same... what remains is why you’re crying alone... so alone...”

Draco didn’t like the last sentence at all. It was like Harry was already
describing exactly how Draco would be after their month together was over. They
were only at the beginning and Harry was already thinking about their break-up.
Draco felt his head throbbing and the ache came back again.

‘We are not in a relationship! Just wake up, Draco. No matter what Harry said
to you, it was only a fuck. And in the end, when Harry’s curiosity fades, you
will be left alone.’ This thought made him feel depressed. Their relationship
was only a game after all.

His briefcase escaped his fingers and landed on the floor creating a sound loud
enough to make Harry jump at the sudden interruption and then flush furiously at
the sight of Draco. There was an awkward period of silence broken by Harry’s
voice when he stated, “You’re early.”

“And you’re a bloody genius for noticing that,” Draco replied with a
sneer.

Harry frowned at the sudden attack. “Someone’s in a bad mood and it isn’t
me for a change. And yes,” he continued as he saw Draco opening his mouth,
“I know I’m a bloody genius. You don’t have to remind me again. I wasn’t
expecting you back so soon. What’s going on? Does your mood have something to
do with the fact that you are here earlier than usual? Did something happen at
work?”

Draco was startled by Harry’s relatively calm reaction and he felt bashful
about his stupid behaviour. Harry was innocent this time. He had done nothing
but sing a song about broken romances. Draco shouldn’t have taken it
personally. Harry didn’t even know Draco was there when he began to sing it.
Draco blamed it all on Jonah for opening old wounds from his past and making
them bleed again.

Draco sighed heavily before saying, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take out
my anger on you. My day wasn’t so good.”

“Oh.” Harry put the guitar back in its case as if pondering what to say
next. “Erm... I... You... Do you want to talk... about it?”

Draco smiled a little. He wasn’t sure if Harry really meant to ask that, or if
he was just being polite by showing interest in Draco’s life, but whatever his
reasons were, Draco was touched by it.

“Do you have some chocolate?” Draco asked instead of answering.

“I think so,” Harry answered. “There is some in the kitchen.”

“Great.” Draco turned around and walked to the kitchen. Harry followed him.
When they got there, Draco looked at Harry questioningly and waited for the
brunette to give him the next coordinates to the treasure. Harry opened up a
drawer full of chocolate bars. Draco raised an eyebrow at him, amused, and then
asked sweetly, “Chocoholic?”

Harry made a face as he threw a chocolate bar at Draco. “Yeah.”

Draco ripped the wrapping and smiled. “Me too.”

Harry’s expression softened at that. “Well, at least we have something in
common.”

“That’s not all we have in common. You also don’t like to talk about
things that bother you, just like me,” Draco pointed out. “This is why I
didn’t answer you when you asked me about my day.”

Harry crossed his arms, annoyed. “I do talk. I certainly talked to you about
very personal things.”

“Yeah, you did.” Draco took a bite from the chocolate and sighed in
satisfaction. “But you didn’t tell me what really made you the way you are
today. Hey, chill out,” Draco said, noticing Harry’s tension. “I’m not
saying this to irritate you. I’m just stating a fact. Running away from the
past is not only your prerogative. I’m not judging you. I don’t have that
right. I would be a hypocrite if I did that.”

Harry licked his lips thoughtfully. “Is this about Bill?”

Draco almost choked. “No! Dammit! Thanks for adding Bill to the equation.”

Draco wished he could read other people’s minds, because he really wanted to
know what was going through Harry’s at that moment. The thought that Harry
might be jealous of Bill was something that put him in a good mood again. He
wanted to point that out, but since Harry was being so nice to him he didn’t
want to ruin things. And since he didn’t want to talk about himself, he
decided to change the subject.

“I didn’t know you play the guitar. And you even sing! I’m impressed.”

Harry’s cheeks reddened a little. “It’s no big deal and I really suck at
it.”

“I wouldn’t say that. Actually, I’m quite jealous...” Draco smirked.
“As usual, you are good at pretty much everything you do, Potter. My mother
paid for me to get piano lessons, but it was a really bad idea.”

“Why?”

Draco smiled maliciously. “I fell in love with my male teacher.” Harry’s
horrified expression made Draco chuckled. “Don’t make that face. I’m
joking.”

“What face?” Harry asked defensively.

Draco only smiled at him and then wisely stayed quiet about it. “Anyway, you
are good, Potter.”

“Did you really have piano lessons?”

Draco nodded as he took another bite from the chocolate. He took a while to
answer properly, and when he did he was quite stunned by how much he had given
away about himself. “Everything I did was supposed to be flawless. I had to be
perfect in school, in Quidditch, in piano lessons... But I wasn’t. My mother
wanted me to be the next Mozart. When I didn’t fit her expectations, she was
very displeased with me.” Again, Draco wished he knew what Harry was thinking.
Harry had such a strange expression on his face. Draco smiled sadly. “But
never mind that. Tell me what made you learn how to play.”

Harry took a while to answer.

“One of my therapists told me it would be good to have a hobby, something to
spend my time on and relax. At first I was really annoyed and impatient. Then I
began to like it and I’ve been playing ever since.”

“Have you ever considered becoming a pro?”

“Don’t joke around...”

“I’m serious!”

“No, you’re not,” Harry replied, upset. He was too embarrassed by being
caught by Draco in such an intimate moment.

They stared at each other and Draco shivered at the intensity he saw in
Harry’s gaze. Flashes of them making love crossed his mind and he was
instantly taken by desire. He put what was left of the chocolate bar on the
table, wondering why he was eating chocolate to end his anxiety when he should
be kissing Harry. Harry was way better than chocolate.

Draco walked towards Harry and stopped only inches away. He felt Harry’s
breath caressing his lips and closed his eyes, entranced.

“Do you want...?” Draco asked in a whisper, his voice getting caught in his
throat.

“What?” Harry whispered back.

Draco opened his eyes and stroked Harry’s face tenderly, his fingertips
running down Harry’s neck. “This?” And then Draco kissed him softly.

Harry gulped. “I do.”

“Can you make me forget?” Draco’s breathed answer sent shivers down
Harry’s spine.

“What?” Harry asked again, closing his eyes and throwing his head back as
Draco sucked his neck.

“Everything.”

Harry only had time to nod before being ravished by Draco. Their mouths met
explosively, setting their bodies on fire, melting them away. They made love on
the kitchen table, because their need was too strong to wait for them to get to
the bedroom.

Harry’s moans enticed Draco to thrust into him deeper and deeper, until they
found relief in a mind blowing ecstasy.



                                Kapitel 28: 28.
                                ---------------


28.
“Harry?”

Harry opened his eyes, blinked and then stared around, confused. The oval room
he was in was cozy and simple. There was a single bed in the corner, a trunk
with the Hogwarts’ crest and a desk near the window. He realised, stunned,
that he was in what used to be his bedroom at Hogwarts when he was a seventh
year. He looked at the calendar on the table and froze. He felt his hands
becoming sweaty and cold.

“Harry?”

His heart sank as he turned around and saw Remus Lupin with the same set of
casual robes that he always wore. Remus had a gentle expression on his face but
he wasn’t looking at Harry – not really – but at a young man sitting on
the bed. The young man was Harry at the age of seventeen.

The present Harry began to panic, but he knew the drill. There was nothing he
could do to stop this scene from being displayed again. He couldn’t understand
why he had to relive those things every time he fell asleep. It was an endless
nightmare. When he wasn’t watching his mother die, he was watching Sirius fall
through the veil, or his last battle with Voldemort. Or this. And out of all the
awful memories, this was one of the most painful.

He leaned against the wall and put his hand on his chest to see if he could ease
the pain. Then he sighed and silently watched his memories being played in front
of him as if he were watching a movie.

On one side of the room there he was, his old stupid self, sulking like a
spoiled brat, ignoring Remus’ attempts to make conversation with him. At the
other side was Remus, always so calm and serene, trying to break Harry’s
defences and fill in the void that Sirius’ death had left in Harry’s heart.
Harry felt the usual despair that followed him every time he saw this scene.

Since Sirius’ death, Remus had tried his best to be a substitute for him. But
nothing Remus did could ever satisfy Harry. On the contrary, Harry was
constantly angry with Remus. It wasn’t because he hated Remus. It was just
that Harry had been trying hard not to care about anything or anyone anymore.
The only thing Harry obsessed about was destroying Voldemort and seeking revenge
for his parents, Sirius, and everybody else that had suffered in that
monster’s hands. In order to focus on the task ahead, Harry had alienated
himself from his friends. Harry couldn’t help himself. He wanted to protect
those he loved so much, and to do that he had to get away from them.

He spent his days always tense and alert. He was always waiting for the prophecy
to be fulfilled. He didn’t care if he lived or died. He just wanted things to
end.

So when Remus had entered Harry’s room to bid him goodbye before going on a
mission for the Order in his seventh year, Harry had behaved as usual. He had
pretended not to hear Remus’ gentle voice asking him how he was and if he
needed anything. He had treated Remus as if his presence was an annoyance. Most
of the times he resented Remus for being alive while Sirius was dead. He knew it
was absurd, but he couldn’t help feeling that way. It hurt to look at Remus
and Harry hated himself for that.

He didn’t know that when Remus left his room, he wouldn’t come back ever
again. He had no idea that five hours later Remus would be as dead as Sirius,
and that his stupid grudge would weigh on his chest so much that he would wish
he was dead too.

It was far too painful. It was worse than watching his mother die, because he
knew he couldn’t have done anything at the time to save her, after all, he was
only a baby. But with Remus things were different. Harry could have done
something for Remus. He could have said something. He could have hugged him and
told him how important Remus was, and how Harry was grateful that Remus was
alive and by his side, taking care of him. But he had let Remus go without
saying a word. He hadn’t learned anything from Sirius’ death. He had
repeated the same mistakes. He could have prevented both Sirius’ and Remus’
death if he weren’t so stupid and hot-headed.

“Harry?” Remus called to him softly. “If you need anything, anything at
all, just come and see me. If you need to talk–”

“I know,” Harry answered without looking at him. “I know.”

The present Harry watched his old self struggling with his emotions. He could
still feel the exact same things he had felt that day. He wanted to beat his old
self up until he regained his senses. He wanted to yell at him to stop being
such a baby, to tell Remus the things that really mattered. But he couldn’t
change that moment anymore. He could only watch as Remus glanced at him sadly
one last time before going away.

The present Harry felt a pang in his heart and tears in his eyes. He looked at
the seventeen-year-old Harry and whispered, “You’re such an idiot. You could
have said something to him. You could have stopped him. He would have stayed
with you if only you had had the courage to ask him. He would be alive today.
They’d both be alive today. You fucking heartless bastard!” he shouted to
vent his anger.

And then something new happened. The younger Harry looked straight at him with
cold red eyes and smiled wickedly.

“You’re just like me, Harry. We are the same,” hissed the younger Harry
with Voldemort’s voice. “You let everybody down. You’re meant to be
alone.”

An evil laughter filled up the room. Harry covered his ears and cried out.

--

Harry woke up trembling and panting. He took a while to come back to normal and
realise that he wasn’t dreaming anymore. He took a deep breath, wiped his
tears away and looked around. He was in a hidden room that was behind one of the
shelves of the library. He was at his desk and the computer in front of him was
turned on. Through his blurred vision, he saw a blank page on the screen. He
sighed tiredly. Not for the first time he had fallen asleep in front of the
computer.

For two years Harry had been writing about his school memories. One of the
shrinks Hermione had sent him to had once told Harry to write down his
experiences in order to leave his past behind and start over again. Harry had
made fun of the idea, telling himself that journals were for girls. But one day
he had begun to write it just to past the time, and he had been doing it ever
since.

He had to admit that he liked it. His first three years at Hogwarts were an easy
ride. Even the memories of Voldemort at those times couldn’t stain the good
things he had had at Hogwarts. The problem began when he started to write about
his fourth year, and then his fifth. His bad dreams had become more frequent
after this. If before he had enjoyed remembering all the good things he had
lived through at Hogwarts, now it was rather painful.

His fears that Voldemort might possess him struck him. Never before had someone
in his nightmares looked at him or spoken to him. He was scared of the meaning
of that. But perhaps it had nothing to do with Voldemort. Perhaps it was just
himself fighting against his traumas. Perhaps now he was finally facing his
fears. He had always thought that he couldn’t change the things he saw in his
dreams. Perhaps this time he could, if only to soothe his heart.

He sighed heavily and put his glasses back on. Then he left the hidden room and
went to the living room to get some air. He was tempted to get something from
the bar but he held himself in check. He had been trying so hard not to drink.
He wouldn’t ruin things now. Still, he needed some relief. He looked at the
big wooden clock on the wall and sighed. It was 4:00 P.M., way too early for
Draco to come home. Harry missed him desperately. He needed to feel Draco’s
body near him, to listen to his heartbeat, to feel his arms around him. He let
out a strangled moan.

It was amazing how Draco was fitting in his daily life so perfectly. It was also
very scary. Harry didn’t want to depend on someone like that, but he
couldn’t help himself. Once they’d passed the initial hostility, Harry had
realised that he not only liked the physical part of their relationship but the
emotional as well. Draco was intelligent and fun to be around. Harry liked his
cunning sense of humour. He even liked the times Draco pouted when Harry said or
did something that displeased him.

Their problems still remained the same though. Draco didn’t want to open up to
Harry. His past was forbidden territory. Harry also didn’t know how things
were between Draco and Bill. As far as Harry knew, Bill was still Draco’s
boyfriend. The thought of Draco and Bill together made him sick to his stomach.
He had rages of jealousy every time he thought of Draco sneaking from work to
meet Bill behind Harry’s back.

Harry knew it was irrational. He didn’t own Draco. He didn’t even know what
they were. Besides, Bill and Draco were together long before Harry came into the
picture. Harry was the other one. He was somebody’s mistress. He made a face
at that.

He was sure about one thing, though. His feelings for Draco were growing. Love
or hate, he wanted Draco by his side.

And the scary thing was that it had only been a week since they had first slept
together, and three since Draco had barked into his life. They only had one last
week together. Things between him and Draco were going way too fast. But Harry
didn’t want things to end so soon. There was still a lot he wanted to know
about Draco.

Resolutely, he climbed the steps towards his room, took a quick shower and then
dressed up. He left his glasses on because he felt more self-assured with them
than with his contact lens. He picked up the phone and waited. It answered after
three rings.

“Merlin! Is it really you Harry? Did something happen?” asked a worried
voice.

“How did you know it was me?”

“Don’t ask stupid things, mate! And you are the Muggle here... Your number
appeared on my cell phone’s screen.”

“Oh...” Harry felt really stupid.

“Never mind that. What happened? Are you ok? Do you need anything?”

“Actually... yeah, I do.”

“What?”

“Fred... I need to borrow your car.”



                                Kapitel 29: 29.
                                ---------------


29.
It was a very difficult situation, but Draco couldn’t keep postponing it
anymore. So when Hermione sent him to Diagon Alley to investigate an old Death
Eater that had been seen in The Leaky Cauldron, Draco dropped by Gringotts to
visit Bill. They ended up in a coffee shop nearby, and neither knew how to begin
the conversation.

“You look great,” Draco began, and couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed
by it. He thought Bill would be a little worried about him and his whereabouts.
He had pictured a devastated Bill with bags under his eyes from lack of sleep
– and lack of Draco. Wasn’t Bill jealous at all? Harry had snatched Draco
away right under his nose, but Bill didn’t seem to care. Draco’s pride was
deeply hurt.

“So do you,” Bill answered with a feeble smile.

Draco took a sip of his coffee with a frown. Of course he looked great. He
always looked impeccably great. He noticed that Bill was trying hard not to meet
his eyes. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? It was Draco who should feel
awkward and embarrassed. Draco was the one who should be searching for the right
words to say. But Bill seemed to be more nervous than Draco. Draco’s mind
began to work furiously, and then he exclaimed, “Oh, my God! You slept with
that bitch, didn’t you?”

Bill looked up confused. “Who?”

“Fleur!”

Bill’s face went crimson. “No, I didn’t sleep with her! I got over her a
long time ago. In fact, till this day I don’t know if what drew me to her was
herself or her Veela charm.”

“But you did sleep with someone!” Draco accused.

Bill raised an eyebrow. “Hey, it was you who left with Harry, not me! I’m
the one who should be mad at you, not the other way around. Do you have any idea
how I felt when I saw you leaving with another man?” Bill started angrily.
Usually he was a very composed man, but Draco had caught him on a really bad
day. He didn’t want to play the understanding boyfriend today. Today he wanted
to play the hot-tempered Weasley.

And so the quarrel began.

“Well... You didn’t seem to care at all for your boyfriend on the
occasion!” Draco counterattacked.

“I was too shocked to react! Besides, I had already been stupid enough to give
you permission to sleep with him! I was trying to be cool about it, because I
know that I can’t compete with Harry on equal ground, can I? And there’s
also the fact that I hate when my brothers throw public tantrums out of
jealousy. It’s a horrible thing to do. I didn’t want to make a scene.”

Draco clenched his fists on the table and hissed, “That’s all a bunch of
crap! You didn’t do anything because you were too busy flirting with Fleur to
care about me!”

Bill threw his hands in the air in disbelief. “Merlin! Why are you so obsessed
with Fleur? And if you really cared about me, you would have stayed, Draco.”

“It was you who told me to sleep with Harry and get over it!” Draco sulked.

“Yes, I know!” The colour in Bill’s face matched his hair. “It was a
stupid thing to do, I told you already. But it’s Harry Potter we are talking
about. You’ve been in love with him since Hogwarts!”

“I have not!” Draco answered defensively. “It was just a stupid physical
attraction.”

“Oh, please. You can call it whatever, but we both know that what you feel for
him was love, not just physical attraction.” Bill rolled his eyes. “Everyone
knows, Draco. For Merlin’s sake, it’s all over your face. Isn’t that the
reason Hermione and Fred sent you to Harry’s house in the first place?
Everybody knows you like him, Draco. Stop pretending and just admit it. If you
really want to get over it, just get over it! Don’t keep making stupid excuses
to be close to him.”

“I don’t make stupid excuses! And it’s not that simple!” Draco sneered.
“You can’t just get over someone in the blink of an eye. It’s more
complicated than that.”

“So you do admit that you love him?”

“Yes! Dammit!” Draco confessed, irritated.

“Did you sleep with him?”

There was a tense pause, and then Draco said with a low voice, “Yes.”

Bill sighed heavily and clenched his fists. A lot of violent thoughts crossed
his mind, like strangling Draco and then killing Harry. But he knew he had only
himself to blame for throwing Draco at Harry. Besides, he had cheated on Draco.
He didn’t have the right to be so angry at his boyfriend. In fact, he had kept
a lot of things from Draco. But even so, his heart hurt. He really liked Draco.
They had a great relationship.

An old witch behind Bill poked his shoulder, interrupting his thoughts. He
turned to her distractedly and then she asked, “So? What did he say? Did he
sleep with him? I couldn’t hear him.” Bill turned red, and so did Draco as
they realised that they had been displaying quite a spectacle to the few
customers around. All eyes were turned to them as if waiting for Bill’s next
move.

“I wouldn’t forgive him if I were you,” said a witch who couldn’t have
been more than seventeen. “He slept with someone else. That’s low.”

“I agree,” said the other teenager next to her, taking a big bite of her
sandwich afterwards.

“But he said the other person is Harry Potter,” said a wizard at the next
table.

“And he’s been in love with Mr. Potter since their time in school, if I’m
not mistaken,” pointed out his wife.

“But just because the love of your life appears all of a sudden, it doesn’t
mean you have a right to cheat on your current boyfriend. You should break up
with him first,” said the waitress of the coffee shop.

“Well, yeah...” the girl with the sandwich seemed deep in thought. “But
like… what if things with the love of your life aren’t that clear? Like, are
you going to break up with your long-time boyfriend just like that?”

“But it isn’t fair, Justine!” exclaimed Justine’s friend. “You’re
treating your boyfriend as a rebound. That’s horrible! You can’t cast a
person aside just because you’re in love with somebody else and then expect
the first person to come back to you if things don’t work out for you with the
other person!”

“That’s not...” Draco tried to say, but was cut off by the old lady behind
Bill.

“That reminds me of my General… He left me for some girl he met
overseas…” The other old lady patted her friend’s back.

“I think he’s a slut,” said the waitress indifferently pointing to Draco.

“Excuse me!” Draco exclaimed with a mix of outrage and embarrassment. He
couldn’t believe strangers were discussing his personal life so openly.

“I think you are all viewing this from the wrong angle. The real question in
this whole story is: Harry Potter is gay?” asked the man to his wife.
“He’s our son’s hero and as far I as knew he even had a fiancée. I
thought he was straight.”

Draco went pale and two thoughts crossed his mind at once: this can’t be
happening; and Harry is going to kill me. There was a short period of silence in
the room, and then everyone started talking at the same time.

“No way!”

“That’s certainly unexpected!”

“Why are all the great guys either married or gay?”

“I don’t really care. It’s his life anyway...”

“Oh, but he’s such a handsome lad. It’s such a shame...”

Draco felt his blood pressure rising. He wanted to cover his ears and tell
everybody to shut up. Soon those people would leave the coffee shop and gossip
about what they had heard and then he would be doomed. The news that he and
Harry had slept together would be on the front page of the Daily Prophet. It
would be the scandal of the year. The saviour of the wizarding world going out
with an ex-Death Eater’s son – and a Malfoy nonetheless. Harry would
positively kill him. Draco calculated the odds of wiping everyone’s memory
away. If he was fast enough, he could do it all at once. There weren’t too
many people around.

“Now, now!” said Bill, making everyone quiet. “Harry Potter isn’t gay.
We were just joking. Right Draco?” Bill sent Draco a meaningful look. Draco
only nodded. He was too shocked to say anything. “The thing is that Draco and
Harry are sworn enemies, so I often like to tease Draco about it. This is a
common joke between us.”

“It didn’t sound like a joke...” said the waitress. Draco felt like hexing
her. He shot her a murderous look and she took a step back reflexively.

“Hey! This should be interesting.” The wizard two tables ahead looked at the
entrance and Draco almost collapsed. “The subject of the joke has just
arrived! Oh, and he has company!”

“Harry...” Draco muttered, burying his face in his hands.

“Jacques!” Bill exclaimed as pale as Draco.

--

Harry had been extremely disappointed when he hadn’t met Draco at the
Ministry, but he had hid his emotions well enough, or so he thought. Hermione
had been thrilled to see him looking for Draco, and she had made malicious jokes
about it until Harry had snapped, “Drop it!”

“All right…” Hermione sighed. “You might catch him in Diagon Alley if
you run. He went to the Leaky Cauldron to gather some information for an
investigation we’re leading,” Hermione said calmly. “Then you can have
your date. I’ll cover for him.”

Harry raised an eyebrow and said between his teeth, “It isn’t a date. How
many times do I have to tell you?”

She rolled her eyes. “Sure, whatever. It isn’t a date... That’s why you
borrowed Fred’s car, because you aren’t on a date. And that’s why you came
here all dressed up looking for Draco.”

Harry went red. “I wasn’t planning to drop by. But since I was in the
neighbourhood, I thought I would come here and see if he wanted a ride
home...”

Hermione smiled. “Aww! You’re so cute, Harry. Honestly... That’s the worst
excuse I’ve ever heard! You were in the neighbourhood?”

“It isn’t an excuse!” Harry grunted.

“Oh, yes, it is,” said Boss as he passed them.

Harry dropped his shoulders and sighed. “I can’t win against you, can I?”

“Nope.”

“And the reason why you are enjoying teasing me today is because Ron told you
about the conversation we had.”

Hermione made a wicked face. “Yep.”

“I’ll kill him,” Harry muttered moodily.

“Oh, come on, Harry. You should have known better. I can always tell when Ron
is hiding something from me. It isn’t hard to make him talk... You knew that.
In fact, you told him because you knew he would tell me in the first place. You
didn’t want to tell me yourself because I was right about you and Draco and it
would be hard for you to admit it. You didn’t want me to boast about the fact
that I do know more about your feelings than you do and–”

“Ok. Enough! You’re right, as always. Not a hundred percent right, but...”
Hermione grinned and Harry rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Now if you’ll excuse
me, I have a date,” Harry let out and instantly tried to amend, “Well, sort
of... I just wanted to give him a ride home... And I’m not even sure I’m
going to find him anyway.”

Hermione patted his shoulder sympathetically. “Good luck!”

It wasn’t so hard to find Draco in Diagon Alley. The place wasn’t that big
and therefore, everybody knew about everyone else’s business. Tom, the owner
of the Leaky Cauldron, told Harry that he had seen Draco going to Gringotts.
That fact had spoiled Harry’s mood instantly, because he knew Bill worked
there. In Gringotts a goblin had told him that Bill and Draco had left together
for the coffee shop not so long ago. Harry’s anger and jealousy reached a high
level when he spotted Draco and Bill together through the window of the coffee
shop.

“That bloody bastard!” exclaimed someone next to Harry, voicing his thoughts
aloud.

Harry looked to the person beside him and gasped. The young man had blond hair,
blue eyes and a cocky attitude that reminded him of Draco when they were
Hogwarts students. The aura of attraction around him was as strong as Draco’s.
Harry felt not just flabbergasted but also fascinated. If Draco had a younger
brother, Harry imagined him to be just like that.

The blond stared at Harry and frowned. “Is there a problem?” the young man
asked with a French accent.

“Why?” Harry replied defensively.

“You’re staring at me as if there’s something funny on my face. Are you
gay or something?”

“No!” Harry answered right away.

“Oh, I don’t mind. I’m used to men and women hitting on me. It happens all
the time. They can’t help it. Nature was obviously kind to me, as you can see
for yourself. I am very attractive... And there’s also my half-Veela blood...
It can be very annoying sometimes... There was a pervert once who kept stalking
me. You’re not a stalker, are you?”

Harry raised an eyebrow. That boy could definitely be Draco’s younger brother.
“Please, don’t tell me your last name is Malfoy,” Harry muttered more to
himself than to the boy.

“No. My name is Jacques Delacour. You’re Harry Potter, right?”

“Yes. I wonder what gave me away,” Harry sneered.

“Oh, how could anyone not know who you are? Besides, you have that scar on
your forehead… It’s really unique,” commented Jacques.

“Yeah, yeah.” Harry was beginning to feel annoyed. This kind of conversation
was one of the reasons why he would rather stay home. He hated when people
pointed at him on the street and then asked for his autograph. It was even worse
when people talked and asked about his battle with Voldemort.

He didn’t want to think about Voldemort. His main concern was Draco and the
reason he was with Bill in a romantic coffee shop. Jacques seemed worried about
someone inside too. For a moment, Harry wondered if the object of Jacques’
distress was Draco. That thought made him feel even more upset. How many lovers
did Draco have? It was then that he noticed something else about Jacques.

“Are you related to Fleur Delacour?” Harry asked.

“Please, don’t talk about that putain,” Jacques said with contempt. “But
yes, we are cousins, unfortunately. She thinks she can take Bill away from me,
but that won’t happen. Bill is mine. Look at that graceless blond with him.
He’s just a poor substitute for the one Bill really loves.”

“Who?” Harry asked, but already anticipating the answer.

“Me! I’m the real thing, not that insipid person next to him.”

Harry couldn’t help but feel tremendous relief as he found out that Jacques
wasn’t interested in Draco. He also couldn’t stop the smile from creeping
upon his face as he imagined what kind of reaction Draco would have if Jacques
called him insipid and graceless to his face.

“So you like Bill,” Harry stated.

“Do you have a problem with that?” Jacques asked aggressively.

“Not at all,” Harry answered. In fact, Harry was quite thrilled to know
about that. He didn’t want to feel so happy, but he did. Bill wasn’t so
perfect after all. There was just one problem, though. Harry didn’t know
Draco’s feelings. And there was only one way to find out. “So,” Harry
began to say. “Do you want to come inside? I believe you need to talk to Bill,
don’t you?”

Jacques smiled briskly. “Oui.”



                                Kapitel 30: 30.
                                ---------------


30.
Draco was sure he was having a nightmare and that he would wake up at any
moment. When Harry made his way into the coffee shop and stood by his table, his
heart was beating so fast he thought it would burst out of his chest. He
clenched his shaking hands and ordered himself to stay calm. The situation was
too much for him though. He was a nervous wreck and it wasn’t just because his
lover and his boyfriend were now face to face.

He was nervous because of the consequences of that meeting. For one thing, he
could end up all alone with no Harry and no Bill. For another, he had said too
much to a very nosy audience. As far as the world was concerned, Harry Potter
was their heterosexual hero. He knew very well that most people in the wizarding
wouldn’t accept Harry so freely if they found out that Harry was gay and
sleeping with Draco.

“Coffee, please,” Harry asked the waitress.

Draco frowned. He was so disturbed that he didn’t even notice that Harry had
already sat down at his table. And who was that snotty blond by his side? Draco
felt instantly jealous. He threw a murderous look at his rival, who faced up to
his silent challenge. The snotty blond smirked at him and Draco smirked back,
his insides burning with rage.

“And you are...?” Draco asked the blondie.

“Oh, how rude of me,” sneered Jacques. “My name is Jacques. Jacques
Delacour. And you must be... Drago... something.”

“Draco Malfoy,” Draco said through his clenched teeth, holding back the urge
to punch the snotty brat. He was a Delacour then. He should have known. That
conceited smile and snob posture was so like Fleur. Draco couldn’t believe his
bad luck. One Delacour wasn’t enough to make his life miserable. There had to
be another one to steal away not only Bill but Harry too.

Draco had had such a hard time breaking into Harry’s shell and making him
admit that he desired Draco. Harry had stated so many times that he was
straight. How could he show up with another male lover? How dare he? And so
bloody fast! Perhaps now that Harry had tasted the forbidden fruit, he would go
after different ones until he was satisfied. Perhaps Harry’s lust for Draco
had nothing to do with Draco himself. Perhaps any man would do for Harry.

Draco breathed hard. He was so caught up in his own dark thoughts that he
didn’t notice how flushed Bill was. Of course, he couldn’t know that under
the table Jacques’ foot was massaging Bill’s crotch and Bill was trying to
kick that naughty foot away.

Harry was tangled up in his own dark thoughts. His jealousy was still strong in
his heart, but his insecurity was getting the best of him so far. As he came
face to face with the oh-so-damn-perfect Bill Weasley, he had become mute. He
didn’t know what to say or do. One would have thought that such a situation
would be a walk in the park for him. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. He was very
nervous.

He glanced at Bill out of the corner of his eye and his lips curled in a bitter
smile. Bill was everything that he wasn’t. He was tall, handsome and stylish.
Most of all, he was normal. Bill wasn’t as complicated as Harry. Bill didn’t
have issues like Harry did. Harry did nothing but yell at Draco and pick on him
while Bill acted like the perfect understanding boyfriend. Harry could bet that
Bill would forgive Draco for sleeping with another man. Harry’s eyes became
dark green at the thought.

Could Harry compete with Bill? Bill also had a noisy loving family supporting
him and Draco. Harry was all alone in this world. But then again, Bill hadn’t
had a lunatic trying to kill him since he was a baby. And Bill wasn’t the hero
of the wizarding world. ‘Ha! Take that, you loser!’ Harry thought with a
smirk.

Bill frowned at him and Harry cleared his throat.

“It’s quite a surprise to see you, Harry. What brings you here?” Bill
asked.

“Why? Am I not allowed to come here?” Harry replied acidly.

Bill seemed taken aback for a moment, but then he seemed to remember that they
were both fighting for Draco. “Of course you are. It’s just that you never
leave your house. I was just wondering what could be powerful enough to pull you
out of your cocoon,” Bill said tartly.

“Bill…” Draco began carefully but was interrupted by Harry.

“I came here to buy something.”

“What?” Bill asked, crossing his arms.

“Erm… Food… for Hedwig,” Harry said staring at his cup as if it was the
most interesting thing in the world. Perhaps he would be able to read his gloomy
future at the bottom of it.

“I thought your owl was dead,” Bill said nonchalantly. Draco was mortified
by his boyfriend’s indifferent tone. He had never seen Bill behaving like
this.

Harry also seemed quite shocked at first, but he recovered very fast and
replied, “She’s dead. But I have another one and I named her after
Hedwig.”

“I never saw an owl at your house,” Bill pointed out.

“You don’t come to my house often, do you? How would you know?”

“Good point.” Bill made a face. It wasn’t like him at all to be so
insensitive. He wasn’t feeling very well about the whole thing. He hated to
feel jealous. Truth be told, the one he really loved was Jacques, but Draco was
also very important to him. He needed to make sure that Harry wouldn’t break
Draco’s heart. Besides, his pride as a man was hurt. So he would have fun
torturing Harry a little more. “Your owl is only an excuse.”

Harry swallowed hard. “What do you mean?”

“Bill!” Draco gripped Bill’s arms and sent him a threatening look. “This
is not the time…”

“No, let him, Malfoy. What do you mean?” Harry asked, his eyes flaming.

“You obviously came here for Draco, right?”

Draco felt slightly faint. Harry flushed violently.

“I can’t believe you like this insipid blond…” Jacques said to Harry.

It was Draco’s time to flush, but from anger. “Who the hell are you, little
brat, to call me insipid?”

“I’m Bill’s real lover, you fake bimbo,” stated Jacques bluntly.

There was a choir of ‘ooh’ all over the coffee shop.

“And the plot thickens,” said the man on the left to his wife.

“What?” Draco almost jumped from his chair.

“Jacques!” Bill exclaimed, annoyed. “This isn’t any of your business!
What are you doing here anyway?”

“I’m here to make sure you break up with this inferior species,” said
Jacques pointing at Draco. Draco grew furious. Jacques turned to Draco and
smirked, “Did you know that Bill is only with you because you reminded him of
me?”

“JACQUES!” Bill shouted, his patience long gone. “For Merlin’s sake,
just shut up!”

“He needs to know the truth,” Jacques shouted back.

“But not like this!” Bill bit his tongue hard and then he tried to amend,
“No, I didn’t mean it like that, Draco… I…”

Draco felt a crack in his heart. “He is the one you slept with, not Fleur,”
Draco muttered. “Do you love him?”

“It isn’t that simple,” Bill said with a sad expression.

“So your love for me was all a lie?” Draco asked not really listening to
Bill.

“It isn’t like that, Draco,” Bill tried to explain again. “You know
that. You’re going through the same thing!”

“All those promises…”

“Draco…”

Bill looked at Harry with surprise at how soft Draco’s name had been on his
lips. Harry instantly shut his mouth, aware that he had let out a lot of his
feelings by whispering Draco’s name in such way. Draco was so immersed in his
own pain that he didn’t even notice Harry’s slip.

But Harry just couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t stand to see Draco looking
so disappointed and sad. Harry wanted to hug Draco and tell him that if Bill
didn’t want him, Harry certainly did.

“I… need to be alone,” Draco said in a whisper standing on his feet and
walking to the exit. He couldn’t believe he was being compared to that
disgusting kid.

“Draco, please!” Bill caught Draco by the arm and made him turn to face him.
“We need to talk in private without all this interference. I need to explain
to you…”

“How you lied to me?” Draco asked coldly.

“No. I care about you. But why do you care whether my love for you is real or
not? You already love someone else,” Bill said in a tone of accusation.

Harry went rigid at that. He had thought that Bill was his only rival. He
didn’t know there was somebody else he should be worrying about. Draco
wasn’t worth the headache, was he? The instant he thought that, the image of
Draco on top of him made him hot all over. He thought of Draco kissing him,
making him moan, and making him feel alive again. ‘Dammit. I wonder how many
people I’ll have to fight before winning Draco,’ he thought bitterly. He
heard Draco sighed. Harry looked up to gaze at him and pay attention to the rest
of the quarrel.

Draco was thankful that Bill had omitted Harry’s name. The reality of his
situation was a slap on his face. Bill was right. Draco didn’t have a right to
feel hurt or upset. But the heart didn’t work that way. “I know that. But it
still hurts,” he said honestly, taking Bill and the rest of the crowd by
surprise. One look at Draco was enough to know that he didn’t voice his
feelings easily.

“Then you know how I felt when you left with Harry that night.”

Another choir of ‘ooh’. Harry reddened at the full attention they were
gathering from the other customers. He felt his panic rising.

“Do you love this brat for real?” Draco asked Bill, looking at Jacques with
disgust. “He doesn’t look like me at all.”

Jacques stuck out his tongue and said, “Likewise. I’m definitely more
attractive than you.”

“You little devil…” Draco clenched his fist and threatened to use it on
Jacques’ face, but Bill held him.

Bill turned to Jacques and said crossly. “This is why I can’t date you,
Jacques. You still behave like a child, an immature and spoiled child. Why did
you have to make a scene? From now on, be quiet.”

Jacques’ lips trembled but he held his chin high. Then he crossed his arms and
pouted. “Ok,” he said in a thin voice.

Harry hid a smile behind his hands. Jacques was annoying and demanding, but he
was also charming when he wanted to be and he did look like Draco. Although
Harry would rather be with Draco, there was something about Jacques that made
him want to cuddle him. It was probably his Veela blood.

The other customers seemed to think the same thing, because they all began to
attack Bill at once and protect Jacques. Bill threw his arms in the air and gave
up. It was obvious that it was useless to try to talk things over in that place.
Bill felt chills down his spine when one of the teenagers’ witches shouted,
“Hey, I don’t understand what’s with the fuss. The redhead likes the cute
– and younger – blond and the hot blond named Draco likes Harry Potter.
Clearly the cute blond likes the redhead. Now it’s up to Harry Potter.”

Everybody stared at Harry, who wanted to sink in his chair and disappear. Harry
was still too shocked at finding out that Draco liked him. Did he really? How
did the girl know? It was probably just a teenager’s assumption. Or maybe her
“like” had another meaning, one that didn’t imply love. Liking someone
wasn’t the same thing as loving that person. Besides, Harry knew he wanted
Draco, but he wasn’t ready yet to admit that he loved Draco. He wasn’t even
gay. All those people around him thought that he was. He wasn’t so sure about
that. Draco was only an exception. His head began to ache.

He looked up at Draco, who was white as a ghost, and the first thing that came
out of his mouth was, “Do you like me?”

“Well, I don’t dislike you…” Draco dissembled. “I mean, we’re not in
Hogwarts anymore… and… There’s no reason to dislike you like I did…”
Draco’s cheeks turned slightly pink as if he was feverish. Harry had never
seen him looking so adorable.

“What are you talking about?” asked the other teenager, her sandwich totally
forgotten on her plate. “The redhead said that you liked him since you were in
school together. Right?” Draco sent her a murderous look but the girl kept
talking, “And you admitted that you love him. We all heard you.” The other
customers nodded. Draco felt like hexing all of them.

Draco had never felt so embarrassed. He couldn’t even look at Harry. Harry, on
the other hand, couldn’t take his eyes off Draco. He was stunned by the
revelation. He would have been astonished enough if he had found out that Draco
liked him now. But to know that Draco had been in love with him since Hogwarts
was positively shocking. He couldn’t believe it. It was so surreal.

“Is it true?” Harry asked in a whisper.

“Yes,” Bill answered. Draco opened up his eyes widely. He would kill Bill
when he had the chance. “Oh, come on, Draco. This story has been dragging on
for too long. Harry is big enough to deal with it.”

“So, Harry, is it true that you’re gay?” asked the teenager.

“I think you look hot together,” said the other one.

“I think it’s disgusting,” stated the waitress.

“What is this world coming to?” said the old lady thoughtfully.

Harry felt dizzy with all those questions and comments. When he came around,
Draco had already left the coffee shop looking rather desperate to escape. Harry
stood up immediately, not quite sure what he would do or say. He was very
confused about the whole thing and he felt like being alone with his thoughts to
process what had just been said. A bigger part of him told him to go after Draco
though. He didn’t go too far. Bill held him back for a moment.

“What?” Harry exploded, not in the mood for more confrontations.

“Take good care of him. He’s very precious, Harry. If you hurt him I won’t
forgive you,” Bill said with a warning look.

Harry held his breath for a second, wondering if Bill expected him to answer to
that. His head was in turmoil. He needed to sort things out. But he nodded
anyway, because he knew Bill was waiting for him to do just that in order to let
him go. When Bill released his arm, Harry dashed to the street unaware of the
buzzing around. His eyes scanned the area for Draco and found him almost at the
back entrance of the Leaky Cauldron.

“Draco!” he shouted, running towards Draco.

Draco stopped reflexively as if he were in a trance. Harry stopped in front of
him and everything around them seemed to disappear. Time froze as their eyes
locked into one another. Harry felt like Draco wanted to say so many things, but
like himself Draco didn’t seem to be able to voice them. Millions of thoughts
and questions crossed Harry’s mind, like when Draco fell in love with him and
why. Harry wanted to say that they should go separate ways to think things over,
to sleep on them, because he was too confused. But since Draco looked so
breakable and defensive, Harry didn’t say anything. Instead, he did something
totally unexpected. He stroked Draco’s face softly, then closed their distance
and sealed it with a tender kiss.

‘FLASH!’

A bright light almost blinded him. Harry blinked, confused, and spotted someone
close by with a camera in his hands and a grin on his face. Then he groaned and
cursed aloud, “Damn you, Colin!”

By tomorrow morning, he and Draco would be front page at the Daily Prophet, and
every other newspaper and witch magazine there was around the globe.



                                Kapitel 31: 31.
                                ---------------


31.
Draco was in shock. Life couldn’t be worse. Harry had kissed him publicly and
he had no idea why. All he knew was that the kiss had felt like a dream, until
Colin Creevey had appeared out of nowhere with his damned camera. Draco hadn’t
waited around to confiscate it. If he had stayed, he would probably have killed
Colin. Instead, he had let Harry handle things – supposing that Harry would
handle the situation properly – after all, Colin Creevey was not only a fan,
but also a friend of his. With dark thoughts on his mind, Draco had vanished
before anyone – Harry mostly – could notice his absence.

He hid at his flat and refused to answer the phone, the door or the fireplace.
All magical channels closed, he grabbed a huge bar of chocolate from Honeydukes
and ate it all furiously. Then, as a result of this compulsive action, he spent
daybreak throwing up and cursing the world.

The next morning Draco found himself with Harry on the front cover of The Daily
Prophet and read the following flashy headline:

“SCANDAL OF THE YEAR: HARRYPOTTERFALLS FOR THE DARK SIDE?”

Draco clutched the newspaper in his hands and took a deep breath before
continuing to read the rest of the stupid article. Clearly, Harry hadn’t
handled the situation very well at all after Draco had left Diagon Alley.
However, Draco was surprised to see that the article occupied at least five
pages of the journal and it was written not by Colin Creevey but by a wizard
named Charles Hagen. If only Colin had written the article instead of just
providing the compromising pictures. Colin liked Harry – in his own weird way
– while Hagen seemed to dislike Harry and Draco a lot, and the article was
very unfavourable to both.

Hagen seemed to have done a fully extensive investigation about the Malfoys,
from the beginning of their illegal business in India and Africa to their
financial empire throughout the rest of the world. He implied that their
business hadn’t ended with Lucius’ imprisonment and that Draco was now in
charge of everything. More importantly, Hagen outright declared that Draco’s
job at the Ministry was just a very clever cover up.

‘...by becoming an Auror, the Malfoy heir guarantees that the law will always
be his side. An Auror who wishes to remain unknown said that Mr Malfoy rarely
does any work and when he does he spends his hours complaining about it. This
reporter wonders why Mr Malfoy would take a job he hates in the first place, and
the answer is pretty simple. Mr Malfoy’s job as an Auror is just a disguise so
he can appear presentable and honest after his father’s shameful imprisonment.
It is also a way to guarantee that the Malfoys keep full control of the
Ministry’s affairs, a power they have held for decades.

Draco could almost hear the steam coming out of his ears. He told himself to
stay calm but as he kept reading, he found it very hard not to lose control and
hex the first thing in his line of sight.

‘...It is quite a shock to our community that Harry Potter, hero of many, is
now involved with someone as dangerous as Draco Malfoy. Could it be that Mr
Potter is enchanted by some dark spell? Or perhaps he is just showing his true
colours.

“Harry Potter always had a dark side,” said a colleague of his from school
that also wishes to remain unknown for matters of security. “He spent his last
two years in school isolated and gloomy. He looked at everyone with such
contempt. It was scary.”

“Well, of course!” exclaimed Draco. “He had just lost his godfather, for
Merlin’s sake! I would like to know how you would feel if the only family you
know had just died!”

“Some used to think that he would join You-Know-Who. I never really believed
that. But now… I can’t believe he’s seeing Malfoy. Malfoy was the bully at
school. Harry was supposed to be the good guy. I thought they hated each other.
If he’s seeing such a hateful person, one can only assume that he’s just
like Draco Malfoy. Maybe he fell for the dark side?” hinted his unknown
friend.

“Quite a fucking friend,” Draco muttered under his breath before continuing
with his reading.

‘Hated each other? This reporter was able to put his hands on some very hot
material about what their hate was really all about.’

Draco gasped as he looked at the hot material Hagen had collected. One of them
showed Harry on top of Draco and their faces were very close as if Harry was
about to kiss him. Since it was a muggle photo, whoever saw it would think that
they were flirting with each other. In actuality, Harry had been trying to
strangle Draco after a particularly heated Quidditch match.

Another one showed Draco fondling Harry’s hand in St Mungo’s and then
leaning in to kiss him. Draco couldn’t believe his eyes. Only a few close
friends knew about his visit to Harry that day. Clearly, someone else had known
about it too and even had a picture to prove it. Draco threw the newspaper on
the floor and moaned in desperation. Where did that picture come from? He hid
his face in his hands and then threaded his fingers through his silky hair,
holding in the urge to pull it out a rage.

He didn’t mind about the photo on the cover or even the silly one that could
be interpreted the wrong way. He was worried about the Hospital photo. That
picture should have never been printed, because the moment Lucius Malfoy saw it,
he would know that Draco was responsible for pulling Harry out of his catatonic
state. Lucius would be furious and so would every Death Eater alive. And so the
hunting for Draco’s head would begin.

Rumours were rife among the Death Eaters that Voldemort had managed to cast a
curse on Harry just before dying, a curse that would make Harry live in an
endless nightmare. When Harry went into a catatonic state, the Death Eaters
presumed that Voldemort had succeeded. The remaining Death Eaters had been
thrilled about the news. The Healers hadn’t known what was wrong with Harry,
and even had discussed the possibility to transfer Harry to a muggle Hospital. A
month had passed and Harry had not reacted to anything.

That was when Draco had taken the matter into his own hands. Draco couldn’t
exactly tell anyone what he knew. If he had, his life and Harry’s would have
been in danger. So he had decided to go to the two people he thought would be
able to help him: Dumbledore and Severus. They had done everything in secret.
Severus had taken two months to boil a potion that only had a fifty percent
chance of working.

And then another problem had presented itself. How could they make Harry drink
the potion? After long discussions, Dumbledore had suggested that Draco give it
to Harry through a kiss. ‘Just like a bloody fairytale,’ Severus had
sneered. Draco made a face at the irony of it all. But he had done it and Harry
had woken up a few hours after Draco had left the building. Nobody besides him,
Dumbledore and Severus had known about the potion, not even Hermione. But Draco
knew for sure that one look at that picture would be enough for Lucius to go
ballistic and send someone after Draco. His father knew about his infatuation
with Harry. He also knew that Draco had known about the curse and, most
importantly, Lucius didn’t believe in coincidences. So it wouldn’t take long
before Lucius would blame Draco for Harry’s miraculous recovery.

“Fuck!” Draco exclaimed.

Draco fidgeted with the possible results of that article. There were so many
things to worry about. He was afraid of Harry’s reaction, even though it was
Harry’s fault in the first place for kissing him out of the blue and out in
the open.

Harry would wonder about a lot of things. He would most certainly wonder about
that kiss in the hospital. And there was the fact that now – thanks to a bunch
of strangers and Bill – Harry knew that Draco was in love with him.

Draco made a face and then sighed in defeat. He had pictured that moment of
truth many times. But not in his wildest dreams had he thought it would happen
in such a cheap way. That was exclusively his fault. He should have left the
coffee shop long before Harry had entered with the blond bimbo. He was very
aware of that. In his current bad mood, he even forgot about his wounded ego
when he had found out that Bill had been lying to him all this time. He wasn’t
worried about his relationship with Bill anymore. He was worried about Harry.

At least the newspaper hadn’t discovered the real truth behind the facts. They
didn’t know Draco had something to do with Harry’s recovery. And most
importantly, they didn’t know about what had really happened to Draco after
Hogwarts.

But he knew he would have to face Harry and tell him about the potion. Most of
all, he knew he would have to face his past sooner or later. But just for a
little while, he would stay hidden. He had been brave enough for too long. He
was entitled to a moment of cowardice before facing what was to come.

--

“He kissed me when I was in St. Mungo’s?” Harry yelled, flabbergasted.

On the other side of the phone line, Hermione held the receiver away from her
ear for a moment and then, after making sure that Harry was no longer breathing
like a furious bull, she tried to sound merry as she said, “Well, at least now
you know he loves you, right?”

“Hermione,” Harry hissed threateningly. “This is... this whole article
is... And what’s with all those pictures? That was just a stupid Quidditch
match! I wasn’t trying to kiss Malfoy! I was trying to strangle him! And this
one here... St Mungo’s? You told me Malfoy came to visit me, not kiss me!”

“Well, I had no idea he had kissed you that day.”

“You’re a horrible friend! How could you leave me alone with Malfoy when I
was in such a vulnerable state?”

“Honestly, Harry, it’s too late to blame this on me. You already slept with
him so you know he means you no harm. He loves you. I thought the kiss was
rather romantic. And to think that you woke up to life again that same day…”
Hermione sighed dreamily and Harry rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“That’s not the point!”

“Really? Then what is the point? You brought this on yourself anyway. You were
the one who kissed him in Diagon Alley! It’s all in the news for the whole
wizarding world to see,” she pointed out happily.

“It was a moment of madness!” Harry still didn’t know what had made him
kiss Malfoy. He blamed the blond for looking so adorable at the time. It was
hard to resist a vulnerable Draco Malfoy.

“What does it matter? You kissed him and that’s it. Stop living in denial,
Harry! He likes you; you like him. Everything is perfect, so what the hell are
you waiting for? You were the one who chased after him in Diagon Alley,
remember? You borrowed Fred’s car just to impress him!”

“I wasn’t trying to impress him!” Harry denied, blushing furiously.

“Whatever, Harry. Just go after him and stop bugging me! You guys need to sort
things out. Sometimes you need to lend a hand to your destiny, Harry. I can’t
do it for you all the time. Honestly… Do you think Draco will wait for you
forever? I’m surprised he' waited this long…”

Harry was quiet for a moment, pondering the things Hermione had just said. She
was right about a lot of things, but it was really hard for him to put his heart
on the line. Although, come to think of it, he had already done that since he
had kissed Draco in front of all of Diagon Alley. But he was feeling so lost. He
knew what he had to do, but he was afraid.

“Harry?” Hermione called out to him gently. “Are you still there?”

Harry blinked. “He loves me.”

“Yes.”

“He loves me?”

“Yes!” Hermione laughed at his friend’s shocked tone of voice.

“Why?” Harry asked completely stunned.

“Who knows? I mean, who wouldn’t fall for a guy like you? You’re handsome,
rich, smart – well, not so smart when it comes to love but… You’re quite a
presentable bloke, Harry.” Harry made a face at the word ‘presentable’ but
said nothing. “Why is it so impossible for him to love you?”

“It’s Malfoy we’re talking about.”

“So? The signs were there all along, Harry. He hated you a little too much,
don’t you think? We were just too blind to notice, not to mention too young.
Besides, Draco was a real brat back then. But everything he did was just to get
your attention. Well, I suppose he did a few things just to be mean… He’s a
Malfoy after all. But most of the time he just wanted to get to you, Harry.”

Hermione made everything sound so simple and yet things were very complicated
from Harry’s point of view.

“I…” Harry licked his lips and then gulped. “I don’t know what I’m
supposed to do.”

He could picture her exasperated expression as she almost shouted, “It’s
quite obvious what you have to do. GO TALK TO HIM, IDIOT!!” And then she hung
up.

Harry kept staring at the receiver for a while, stunned that she had the nerve
to hang up on him. Then he called her back and when she answered, he sneered,
“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“What?”

“I don’t know where he lives!” he exclaimed, irritated.

“Oh.” Hermione frowned. “I suppose it never occurred to you to just ask
him.”

It did occur to him, but he couldn’t just ask Draco without raising
suspicion.

“Just give me the damned address!” he asked moodily.

“All right, all right. Here it is...”

--

When Draco heard the knock on his door, he felt slightly nauseous as if he knew
something bad was coming. Even so, curiosity got the best of him. And when he
opened the door, he wished he hadn’t. Standing there snobbishly was his
mother, Narcissa Malfoy. He went pale at first and considered slamming the door
in her face, hoping to fix her awful character. But before he could do anything,
she let herself in.

“Please, come in, mother,” Draco sneered as he closed the door and watched
her walk towards the living room muttering to herself. “Make yourself at
home,” he said elegantly but coolly.

“Home... It’s not even funny, Draco. Do you really think of this place as a
decent home for a wizard of your position?” Narcissa looked around snottily.
“Really... I am so disappointed. I don’t even have the heart to tell your
father that you live among muggles now. He would die of shame.”

Draco tensed at the mention of his father. He wondered if Lucius had sent his
mother to pester him. “Father has other reasons to die of shame and they have
nothing to do with me.”

“Don’t speak to me in that insolent tone, Draco. I am still your mother and
he is still your father.” Narcissa’s cold eyes pierced through him and Draco
felt as if he were a child again. “Even though now you want to deny your own
blood, you are still a Malfoy. You are going to inherit everything.”

Draco gave a hollow laugh. “Wait a minute. Weren’t you the one who expelled
me from the mansion and told me that I wasn’t your son anymore? Weren’t you
the one who told me that I wouldn’t receive a penny of the Malfoy’s
fortune?”

Narcissa didn’t answer right away. She sat down on the couch first, crossed
her legs elegantly and raised her head. She hated everything muggle related, but
she was dressed like one, and very well-dressed. Draco had the same impression
about her as he used to have when he was a kid: that if she weren’t human she
would be a beautiful swan. But her pretty features couldn’t hide the coldness
and shallowness in her heart. Even Lucius could be more passionate than
Narcissa, which was saying a lot.

“Since you haven’t answered any of my letters I took the liberty to come and
inform you myself of the good news. Your father and I have talked...”

Draco felt his blood running cold. He knew something bad was coming. But even
though he felt like zipping her mouth shut he let her go on.

“... and he decided that we should give you a second chance. You’re our only
son after all.” Draco felt his insides burn. “We are not broke as many want
to believe. We still have a lot in our possessions. It isn’t an easy task to
destroy everything that our family has put together over the years. Your father
is going to appeal his sentence in a few days...” Draco felt like he was going
to faint. “... and he wants us to be together again. When he comes back home,
he plans to pass everything to you. Every one of our assets will be in your
name.”

Draco counted to ten not to scream. He felt his head aching. “I can’t
believe this.”

“You had your fun. You were young and we already accepted your need to try new
things. But you are not a teenager anymore. I strongly believe that you have
some sense in your head now. As it is, we are willing to put the past behind us
and let you come back home. All you have to do is quit that disgusting job of
yours. We already have a suitable girl for you to marry. We just need to arrange
a few details and...”

“Stop!” Draco finally had it.

She closed her mouth instantly and frowned. Draco shook his head in disbelief
and tried not to throttle her. “You’re unbelievable. After all the horrible
things you said to me you have the nerve to talk to me as if nothing happened.
You called me an abomination,” he reminded her with a dark look.

Narcissa remained impassive as she said, “What did you expect? You broke our
hearts with your nonsense. I never thought my little baby, my pride and joy
would become...” She waved her hand. “I guess your father was right. It was
my fault. I spoiled you too much. It’s ok. I admit I was wrong. Now it’s
time for you to admit it too. Then we can put things behind us and move on. You
have a wonderful future ahead of you.”

Draco clenched his fists. “It wasn’t nonsense! I’m still gay, you know? I
won’t change!”

“You don’t really mean that.”

“Mother...” he sighed heavily. He didn’t want to go through that same
discussion all over again. He just wanted her out of his flat. All of the
memories he had tried so hard to repress came back to him like an avalanche. He
remembered the way his mother looked at him the first time she found out he was
gay, the icy looks and imperious manner when she nodded at Lucius’s idea to
send Draco to a place in Scotland where their son would be cured of his disease.
Draco remembered quite well how she had stared at him indifferently as she left
him in that hideous place and how she had ignored his pleas not to leave him
there alone. He remembered the pain and torture he was submitted to.

By the time he came back for his seventh year of school, he had changed indeed,
but not in the way his parents had wanted him to. That lovely summer camp made
him better at deceiving. He learned to play the part of the perfect son
outstandingly. His hatred increased so much that he didn’t even feel guilty
for helping the Order.

He had known what the results of his actions would be. It didn’t come as a
surprise when Narcissa noticed he had been bluffing all along. He had already
graduated from Hogwarts. In his innocence he thought it would be easier to turn
his back on his family fortune and embrace the world.

But it hadn’t been easy at all. With Dumbledore’s sudden death and
Severus’ retirement and disappearance, Draco had only met closed doors and
prejudice. The wizarding world turned its back on him. He had experienced the
same cruelty and rejection he had once inflicted on others he had thought
inferior. And with no job and no money, he had let himself be misled by a wizard
named Johnson Smear. Johnson had shown him another type of hell, one that Draco
would never forget.

Draco could already feel the tears ready to fall. He pressed his eyelids
together hard to prevent that, and then he said, “I won’t go back.”

Her mouth seemed to twitch for a second. “You don’t belong here in this
filthy muggle neighbourhood. If you want to have your own house I won’t
object. I’m sure Lucius won’t mind either. But...”

“Don’t play dumb, mother. The mansion is not the fucking problem! I won’t
go back to that sick life anymore. I’m not your toy! This is the way I am and
I won’t change! I’m fucking gay! Deal with it!” he roared.

Her lips curled in a bitter smile. “You don’t know what you’re talking
about. How can you be ok with this? You know it’s not normal.”

“I don’t give a fuck!” he shouted out of control. “Just tell Lucius that
he can shove the Malfoy fortune wherever! I know why you both want me back. You
want to put things in my name because somebody has finally had the courage to
dig into the Malfoy’s business.” For the first time, Narcissa seemed to be
really shocked. Draco sneered. “Oh, yes, mother. I work at the Ministry,
remember? I know why you two are so desperate to pass things on to me. But guess
what? I don’t want anything that comes from you or him. I’m fine on my own.
I don’t need your fucking money. SO JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!”

Narcissa’s face went crimson. She got up and stopped next to him with flaming
eyes. “You really are a disgrace,” she muttered under her breath. Draco felt
like slapping her. “Do you really think that the Potter boy is worthy? Do you
think this infatuation of yours will last? You are throwing away centuries of
family history and power, and for what? For a sickness of your body. For a
perversion!”

Draco shut his eyes and whispered, “Shut up.”

“Do you think he loves you, Draco darling?” she smirked. “Do you think he
can really love someone like you? Two men cannot love each other. It’s just a
sick form of desire.”

“Shut up.”

“Don’t be mistaken. It’s all an illusion. There’s no way this type of
love will last. You can’t even have children.”

“I swear to God, if you don’t shut your mouth...” Draco threatened.

“Does Potter know about the man you used to live with, Draco?” Every word
coming out of her mouth was pure venom.

“Don’t...” He couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. He blinked but
they didn’t stop falling.

“Does he know what kind of life you had before you became such a respectable
man? Being the coward that you are, I’m sure you didn’t tell him. No one
knows about your dark little secret, right?” she pressed on. “I wonder what
your lover would have to say about that. I wonder if his love would last if he
found out by chance that you used to sell...”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

“... your body for money.”

Draco didn’t know how he managed to hold his urge to beat her up. Somehow he
couldn’t do anything. He was paralysed by her poisoning words. It was as if
Johnson was by his side again, punching him when he did something wrong, making
him beg for his meals, making him feel like Draco was the worst scum in the
universe. It wasn’t his fault. Johnson was the monster, not him. Johnson had
made him sleep with those horrible men for money.

“If you just came back to us, we would make it all go away, Draco. You could
have your dignity back. Lucius and I were so sure that you’d come to your
senses after Johnson... Johnson was supposed to be a lesson well-learned, Draco.
He was supposed to have cured you from your weakness... After all, that was why
Lucius paid him so well.” She touched his shoulder and he jerked away
violently. Narcissa just shrugged and then smiled at him. “You haven’t heard
the last of us yet. I’m sure your father will have a lot to say about a
certain hospital photo. He won’t be very pleased, that’s for sure.” She
pushed her hair back delicately and then walked towards the front door.
“Potter doesn’t have to know about your secrets, darling. As your mother I
would protect you. Your fate is in your hands. And should I say Potter’s fate
as well? After all, if you come back home I’ll try to convince Lucius to leave
Potter alone. It’s all up to you.” She opened the door and blew him a kiss.
“I’ll be in touch.”

When she closed the door, Draco slid to the floor and broke down. He was left
alone to relive six months of hell.



                                Kapitel 32: 32.
                                ---------------


32.
Harry looked up at the building in front of him and sighed. Draco was only six
floors away. He debated with himself for a long time about entering or going
back to his house. In the end he decided to go in and face the consequences,
whatever they were. He didn’t need to ring the bell. A beautiful blond woman
who looked rather displeased with something pulled the door opened and passed
him without even noticing his presence. She seemed to be the kind of woman who
cared about nothing but herself. Harry thought she looked vaguely familiar, but
his attention quickly switched to more important matters. He rushed to the door
before it slammed in his face and reached the elevator a few seconds later.

The fact that he had been able to get in so easily bothered him. Clearly,
Draco’s building wasn’t secure enough for an Auror. Perhaps Draco’s
apartment had magical wards to compensate for the lack of security at the main
entry.

On the way up, he couldn’t help but think of how odd it was for Draco Malfoy
to be living in a muggle building. He wondered what Draco’s apartment would be
like. Probably a mixture of both worlds. It would be neat, of course, and full
of expensive and beautiful things. Draco had great taste. This would most likely
annoy Harry; after all, his own house was a mess.

He left the elevator and walked towards Draco’s flat. He was about to knock on
the door when he heard a horrible noise inside. His heart leaped inside his
chest. He pulled out his wand quickly and used a spell to open it. The door
opened without much effort, which made Harry curse Draco for not taking better
care of his safety. Then he made his way in carefully, his wand ready. What he
saw in the living room made his blood run cold. Every little object lay broken
on the floor. Cushions and books were flying around at high speeds and leaves
and feathers poured down like rain.

He immediately shouted a freezing charm and everything stood still. He was more
than a little worried about Draco now. His heart was about to bounce off the
walls. He felt his mouth dry. ‘Be ok, please be ok,’ he repeated over and
over. ‘I’m just getting to know you. Don’t let me lose you.’ He hadn’t
felt this helpless in a long time.

“DRAC–” he began to shout but his voice died away when Draco appeared in
front of him. Time froze as Draco’s empty eyes stared at him without actually
seeing him. The blond looked terribly pale as if his soul had been sucked out of
him. Harry felt his heart in his mouth. In a second he closed the distance
between them, but Draco drew back as if he was afraid of his touch. Harry feared
for the worst. He had never seen Draco like that.

“Draco...” he called softly. “Are you hurt?” Draco didn’t answer.
Harry took a step forward and Draco pulled back until he had his back against
the wall. Harry reached out to touch him slowly, his hand trembling. “Did
someone hurt you? What happened here?” Harry was now terrified, not knowing
what he was supposed to do. It was clear that Draco was in some sort of shock.

Harry’s fingertips finally came in touch with Draco’s cheek. Harry caressed
him very carefully and tried to embrace him, but Draco reacted violently as he
noticed Harry’s intention. Harry dodged Draco’s punch reflexively. Draco
tried hard to hit Harry while Harry tried his best to constrain him. After much
struggle, Harry was finally able to knock Draco down and lock his arms around
him tightly to prevent another violent move. After a while Harry felt Draco’s
body relaxing and his enraged heartbeat coming back to normal gradually. Harry
breathed heavily. He touched their foreheads together and loosened his grip
around Draco’s body a little bit.

And then Draco trembled in his arms, and Harry heard strangled sobs coming from
the blonde’s mouth. Draco buried his head in his shoulder and Harry felt his
tears on his neck. There was nothing left to do but to run his fingers through
Draco’s silky hair in gentle strokes and whisper sweet things in his ears.

“Everything’s ok,” Harry whispered, kissing Draco’s forehead. “I’m
not going to hurt you.” He couldn’t help thinking about the irony of what he
had just said. A couple of days ago he was telling Draco the exact opposite and
now he was taking care of him. With so many thoughts crossing his mind, Harry
lost track of time.

Thousands of things went through his head. He desperately wanted some answers
about what had just happened. He had never thought of Draco as someone who would
break down like that. Ever. He was still stunned by what he had witnessed. He
had had a similar experience in the past, so he knew Draco’s unstable levels
of magic had caused some objects to fly around and others to break. The question
was what had triggered such violent emotions. Something must have pushed Draco
beyond his limits and pushed him hard, after all, Draco was always so composed.

But it wasn’t the time to ask anything. Not yet. It was obvious that Draco had
been through an enormous amount of stress. Draco would come around eventually,
and if he felt like it, he would tell Harry about it. Harry just had to be there
for him, and keep stroking his hair and cuddling him the best way he could.
Harry had never wanted to protect someone so badly in his life as he wanted to
protect Draco now. He wished he could kiss Draco’s fears away, but all he
could do was wait.

When Draco’s tears finally subsided, Harry felt Draco’s lips brush his neck
and slide up until they met Harry’s lips. Harry felt the sweetness of
Draco’s mouth mingled with his salty tears. Draco kissed him softly once,
twice, three times until his tongue asked for entrance.

‘We really are screwed up,’ was Harry’s last thought before losing himself
in the sweet madness. Their tongues met in a sensual dance.

Harry knew Draco was looking for comfort, and he was more than willing to give
in. Harry was surprised at how badly he wanted to soothe Draco’s worries and
love him.

Draco’s skilful fingers unbuttoned Harry’s shirt leisurely. Their kiss
deepened. Every kiss was like an electric shock burning his every inch. Harry
moaned a protest when Draco’s lips left his, but he soon forgot about it to
concentrate on the wonderful sensations that were assaulting him as Draco kissed
down his chest.

That picture seemed wrong somehow. Harry was supposed to be pleasuring Draco,
not the other way around. But far from complaining, Harry just let Draco run the
show. He watched in a daze as Draco undressed himself, exposing his beautiful
alabaster skin.

Their eyes met for a brief moment and Harry wondered what was about to come
next. Harry was engulfed by many different emotions as Draco rode on him. He was
shocked but also thrilled, embarrassed but extremely excited. He never thought
two men could do it in that position.

Draco’s soft moans drove him mad. Harry felt the pleasure building up inside
him, demanding for a release that came in hot waves.

They shared one last deep kiss before Draco pulled out of him and fell asleep in
his arms.

“Draco?” Harry shook Draco gently, but Draco seemed to be sound asleep.

Harry took the time to wait for his heart to calm down and the world to come in
focus again. The whole thing had been surreal. If anyone asked him about that
day, he wouldn’t know where to begin to describe it. Not that he would ever
have the courage to tell someone about it, not even Ron. It was rather personal
for him to share. Besides, he had the feeling that Draco wouldn’t be so happy
about it when he came around. If there was something Harry knew very well, it
was how proud Draco was of his self-control.

Harry didn’t even ask Draco the things he wanted to before he arrived. He
still wanted to know about that hospital photo. He still wanted to know from
Draco’s own mouth exactly what he felt for Harry and why. Harry sighed
tiredly. He knew that this peaceful moment would end when Draco woke up, but
just for a little while he wanted to enjoy that closeness. Slowly, he
disentangled himself from Draco’s firm grip on him and stood up. After
stretching, he took Draco in his arms with a little difficulty, cursing himself
for not being more muscular. Then he laid Draco down on the bed and wrapped his
arms around him protectively. Pretty soon Harry was sound asleep.

-

Draco had never felt his head so heavy. The curtains were pulled down, but even
so the poor light coming from the window hurt his eyes and he blinked a few
times in order to get used to it. When he was finally able to put his feet on
the floor, he had to rush to the bathroom as a wave of nausea came upon him.

He hadn’t felt that bad in a long time. The symptoms were close to a very bad
hangover, but he didn’t remember drinking anything. He rubbed his stomach and
slowly came back to his room. On top of the headache and nausea, he was also
feeling a little dizzy. ‘What a lovely way to start the day,’ he thought
bitterly.

He reached out for his wand on the bedside table and then pointed at his head.
The relief was immediate. His stomach was still turning, but at least he
wasn’t feeling like his head would fall off at any minute. With the pain in
his head gone, he meditated on what had happened the previous day. He remembered
spending a calm and depressive morning in bed, then having some brunch around
noon and then… Then his mother had invaded his personal space and had brought
back everything he had tried so hard to suppress from his life.

He couldn’t remember what he did after she left and that concerned him quite a
bit. He closed his eyes and focused on remembering. The image of Harry came to
his mind. It was then that he noticed something very unusual about him. He was
fully naked. In spite of what everyone else thought about him, Draco didn’t
like to sleep naked unless he had someone to share his bed with. The image of
Harry crossed his thoughts again. Everything was fuzzy in his head. If Harry had
spent the night with him, he would most certainly remember. That was the kind of
thing one wouldn’t forget.

He shook his head and dismissed the idea immediately. Harry didn’t even know
his address. With that in mind, Draco walked out of the bedroom towards the
kitchen to have a glass of water. He wondered if he should make himself a memory
potion when a male voice he knew pretty well said, “Oh, you’re finally
awake. How do you feel?”

He turned his head towards the voice and found Harry Potter comfortably sitting
on his couch drinking coffee. Draco wondered if he was seeing things, but when
he realised he wasn’t, he let out a yelp and picked up a cushion from his
armchair to cover up his private parts.

Harry chuckled, “I think it’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?
We’ve slept together more than once. I already know your body and it’s quite
a vision if I may say so.”

There was something very erotic about Harry Potter saying those things. Even so,
Draco blushed violently. “So? I don’t like people staring at me when I’m
naked. It makes me feel…”

“Vulnerable?” Harry suggested without malice.

“No! Not vulnerable!” Vulnerable was for weak people and he was anything but
weak. But vulnerable was the right word in that case. Draco made a face.
“Potter, what in heaven’s name…?”

“I really don’t know anything about you. I never thought you would look shy
just by being naked in front of me. That’s something that I would do. You, on
the other hand, always seemed very confident of your body,” Harry said with a
sweet smile. “It’s rather cute.” Draco shrugged but his heart was pounding
like crazy. “I was right, you know? On my way here I wondered what kind of
place you’d have and I wasn’t disappointed. You do have a nice apartment. It
looks a lot better now that I cast Reparo on everything. But honestly,
Malfoy…” Harry pointed to a magazine on the small table next to him and
smiled. “Witch Weekly?”

“It’s Hermione’s…” Draco mumbled slightly irritated. “And don’t
change the subject, Potter. What are you doing here?”

Harry placed the empty cup on the small table and leaned back on the couch. Then
he stared at Draco, who reddened even more under Harry’s intense gaze.
Harry’s look was making him uncomfortable and Draco could feel a certain part
of his body moving on its own. Deeply embarrassed, Draco excused himself and
left the room in a hurry, coming back a few minutes later fully dressed and
composed. Harry watched the scene with amusement and he couldn’t help but
smile as Draco sat on the armchair with a sulking expression.

“So, now that the show is over, would you mind explaining to me how you got
in?” Draco asked.

“Do you remember anything about yesterday?”

Draco frowned. “I remember a few things… Wait a minute. You said you cast
Reparo on my stuff. Why?”

“Because when I got here your living room was turned upside down. There were
broken things all over the floor and books flying around and bouncing off the
walls.” Draco went pale and Harry went on, “And then I saw you. You scared
the shit out of me. My guess is that you were under so much stress that your
magical powers went out of control and then drained you out. You wanted to beat
me up, although that shouldn’t exactly be a surprise, right?” Harry tried to
joke, but he became serious when he noticed how nervous Draco was.

“What else did I do?” Draco asked in a whisper as if he was afraid of the
answer.

“You... cried in my arms and then kissed me and…”

Draco looked positively stunned. “And?” Draco asked anxiously.

“We... huh...” Harry cleared his throat and flushed slightly. “We did it.
You know... sex...” Draco hid his face in his hands. “It was quite a…
remarkable experience. You were so...” Wild and sexy, Harry wanted to say but
he decided that it was better to be quiet.

“Brilliant. Just bloody brilliant! Fuck!” Draco exclaimed, frustrated. He
had sex with Harry and he didn’t remember a thing. Not just that. He had
probably made quite a spectacle for Harry. He had behaved like a mad man. He
looked sideways bashfully. He wanted to sink in the couch and disappear. He took
a deep breath to calm down and then said in a low voice, “I’m sorry.”

Harry arched an eyebrow. That was the last thing he expected to hear.
“Why?”

“What do you mean? I attacked you, didn’t I? You said it yourself. I tried
to beat you up. I had a stupid nervous breakdown in front of you and I can’t
even remember having sex with you! Shouldn’t I apologise for being so screwed
up?”

Harry gave him a half-smile. “Not really. I mean, you saw me in my worst
moments too. I guess we’re even.”

“Your worst moments don’t even compare to mine, Potter.”

“Damn, Malfoy! Stop turning everything into a bloody competition! I’m not
mad at you. I was worried. I had never seen you like that.” Harry stood up and
began to pace nervously. “I came here to apologise myself and ask you a few
questions about that article.” Harry stopped in front of Draco. “But when I
saw everything trashed I thought… that someone had broken in and hurt you.
Anyone can enter this place! You’re an Auror and you didn’t even care to set
wards around your apartment! I walked in with a simple unlocking spell.”

“Oh, look who is talking... The door wasn’t locked, Potter, that was why it
opened so easily,” Draco defended himself. “I did set up wards around my
apartment. Did you use a spell to unlock the front door of the building as
well?”

“No, I didn’t have to. There was this woman coming out and I just took the
opportunity to…” Harry closed his mouth instantly as if a sudden light had
hit him. “The woman! I knew she looked familiar. It was her! It was your
mother, wasn’t it?”

Draco panicked so much at the mention of his mother that he leapt from his
armchair instantly and grabbed Harry’s arms. “Did she see you? Did she talk
to you?” He was terrified at the thought of Narcissa talking to Harry and
telling him how filthy Draco really was.

“No, she didn’t even notice me. She seemed too caught up in her own world to
pay attention to anything else.”

Draco breathed in relief.

“What did she say to make you lose control like that?” Harry asked.

Draco bit his lower lip hard as Narcissa’s spiteful words haunted him again.
“Family matters can be very unpleasant sometimes,” he said without looking
at Harry.

“Obviously,” Harry sneered. “But it wasn’t just unpleasant. She hurt you
a lot. What did she do?” Harry pressed on. Since Draco was still refusing to
look him in the eye, Harry caught Draco’s chin between his thumb and his
forefinger and raised it up until their eyes were at the same level.

“It’s private, Potter,” Draco said crossly. “It doesn’t concern
you.” Draco didn’t mean to sound so defensive, but the fear of Harry finding
out about his past was getting the best of him. “I already apologised for the
way I behaved yesterday. Let’s leave it at that.”

“No! Why do you lock yourself up to me? Why don’t you ever let me know what
you feel? What happened to you that was so horrible you can’t share it with
anyone?”

Harry’s question caught Draco by surprise, but the blond didn’t let it show.
Instead of wavering, he retorted, “What are we to each other exactly, Potter?
We don’t even know! I don’t know how you feel either! You make me confused.
One minute you treat me like an enemy, and the next you treat me like your
lover. I don’t have to say anything to you.”

“That’s just brilliant, Malfoy,” Harry said with suppressed rage. “You
should know! After all you were the one who kissed me when I was in St.
Mungo’s! What did that kiss mean, Malfoy? Hermione, the queen of rationality,
thinks it was just a romantic gesture. I don’t buy that shit. What were you
doing in the hospital that day, Malfoy? Why did you even care about me if you
don’t know how you feel?”

“Because…”

“Because?”

“I don’t know!”

“If you don’t know, then who the hell does?”

“How the fuck should I know? Stop pressuring me! And why are you yelling?”

“I’m not yelling! You were the one who started it. I was the one who helped
you out yesterday. The least you could was thank me, not shout at me!”

They exchanged a dark look and then Draco sighed tiredly. “You’re right.
I’m not myself lately... Sit down, Potter. Let me have some coffee first and
then we can talk properly.”

Harry wasn’t satisfied by that arrangement but he sat down and waited. When
Draco returned, Harry crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow questioningly.
“So?”

Draco took a sip from his coffee and then said, “This isn’t going to be
easy.”

“Nothing ever is,” Harry replied with a sneer.

“But this…”

“Just cut the crap already and go straight to the point!”

“All right, all right! I just have the feeling that you’ll get really mad at
me, and I’m really sick of people being disappointed with me so…”

Harry sighed. “I’m already mad. But if it makes you feel better, I promise I
won’t be mad at you… much more.”

Draco made a face. “Well, thanks.”

“What do you expect? You’re hiding something from me, something that’s
about me! What is it?”

Draco took a deep breath and then said, “When you were in St Mungo’s there
were tons of rumours flying around. One of them was that Lord Voldemort had cast
a curse on you just before he died. A curse set up to make you live in an
endless nightmare.” Harry held his breath at that but he let Draco continue,
“A month passed and you wouldn’t react to anything. Everyone was desperate.
Nobody knew what to do. The Order didn’t know anything about those rumours,
except for Dumbledore and a few others. We couldn’t let it leak out. It would
be dangerous not only for us but mostly for you.”

“Why would it have been dangerous for me?” Harry asked.

“Are you stupid, Potter? Fudge was always suspecting you. If we had said
something, Fudge would have tried to relocate you to a place in St Mungo’s
reserved for dangerous criminals until it was proven that you didn’t mean any
harm to our society.”

“That’s bullshit! I was out. I couldn’t do anything even if I wanted
to.”

“Well, yes. But Fudge wouldn’t care, Potter. You do realise the kind of
panic those rumours would initiate.”

Yes, Harry knew precisely what people would think. It was the same thing that he
had been thinking for a while now. That Voldemort was possessing him. He gulped
and then told Draco to carry on.

“We decided to take the matter into our hands,” Draco said in a low, serious
voice. “Snape helped us out. He made a healing potion, but we didn’t know if
it would work. The other problem was to find a way to make you drink it. It was
Dumbledore who suggested the kiss. I could give it to you through the kiss and
if someone walked in on me it wouldn’t look so suspicious.”

‘Dumbledore, you old bastard!’ Harry thought with a frown. He sneered.
“Did you really think that anyone who walked in on you kissing me would find
the situation perfectly normal?”

“Well, nobody walked in, Potter, so there wasn’t a problem.”

“Somebody took a picture of us! How can you say nobody saw us? And did you
even think about me? I could have choked!”

Draco rolled his eyes. “You didn’t. In fact, you kissed me back.”

“WHAT? I wasn’t even aware of the situation! I was living an endless
nightmare, don’t you remember? You were probably part of it!”

Those words hurt Draco, but he didn’t let it show. “Relax, Potter. You
didn’t choke. And at least the potion worked.”

“Did it?”

They exchanged a long stare.

“What do you mean, Potter?” Draco asked carefully. “I mean, you woke up
that same day.”

Harry gave a hollow laugh and then said, “I guess now it’s my turn to tell
you something very personal about me, Malfoy.”

“What?” Draco asked, afraid of the answer.

“I... have nightmares. I keep reliving all of my worst moments over and over.
My mother dying... Sirius falling behind the veil... Stupid childhood memories
living with the Dursleys... Remus...” Harry felt his hands shaking and he
clenched his fists. “And the funny thing is… Voldemort is starting to talk
to me.”

Time stood still. The room was filled with palpable tension.

“No,” Draco finally said. “No. These nightmares probably have nothing to
do with that. I mean, since when have you had them? Not since you left St
Mungo’s, right? It’s not possible. You wouldn’t take four years living
like this.” But then everything began to make sense to Draco. The way Harry
behaved, the way he liked to be alone. The way Harry had shut himself out from
the rest of the world in that gloomy old house. “Harry...”

“It’s started recently. And maybe you’re right. Maybe they have nothing do
to with Voldemort’s curse. It might be just me. But even so...”

“You want to make sure,” Draco finished for him, taking Harry by surprise.

“Yeah,” Harry muttered. “It’s not fair.”

“Of course it isn’t,” Draco quickly agreed.

“No. I’m not talking about my nightmares. I’m talking about you. Here I
am, sharing something that I haven’t even told Ron and Hermione, and you still
hide so many things from me. It isn’t bloody fair!” Harry let it out
wearily.

Draco looked away. “You would hate me if I told you.”

Harry shook his head and his lips curled in a bitter smile. “I hate you for so
many things... Do you really think that throwing one more thing into the mixture
would make any difference?”

Draco smiled sadly. “I think it would.”

They stayed quiet for a long time. Harry was the one to break the silence first
when he said, “You should have told me about the rumours. You should have told
me about the kiss and the potion.”

“I know. It’s just... Dumbledore died so suddenly. It was only Snape and me.
You hated both of us. Would you have believed us if we have told you about it
back then?”

Harry bit his lower lip. “I don’t know. I guess not.” Another moment of
silence, and then Harry asked, “What do we do now?”

“We’ll go after Snape,” Draco said decisively.

Harry frowned. “Do you still keep in touch with him?”

“From time to time. After all, he’s my godfather.”

Harry almost felt off the couch. “HE’S WHAT?”

Draco smiled. “There’s no need to shout. Why are you so surprised?”

Harry grimaced. “I should have known. The way he treated you was too good,
even for a Slytherin. He favoured you a lot.”

“No, he didn’t,” Draco said, annoyed by the fact that it was true, and
even more annoyed with the fact that he liked to be spoiled by Snape.

“Oh, yes, he did.”

Draco shrugged.

Harry concealed a smile. “Where does the old bastard live now? I heard he left
Hogwarts a long time ago.”

“Yes. It was quite sudden. McGonagall couldn’t convince him otherwise. Even
I don’t know why he left like that. I guess he was just tired. Besides, his
main reason for staying in Hogwarts was to keep an eye on you.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. He just didn’t have anywhere else to go.
So where is he now?”

“Scotland. He lives very reclusively.”

“Will he help us?”

“Of course he will, Potter. He isn’t a heartless bastard.”

“He could’ve fooled me,” Harry grunted.

While Harry lost himself in thoughts of Snape and Hogwarts, Draco found refuge
in his own memories. He wasn’t so sure Severus would be happy to see them. It
had been a while since his last letter. Draco knew Severus cared for him, but in
his own way. Severus wasn’t an affectionate person. He was cold and bitter.
But Draco knew the kind of life Snape had had so he understood without any
judgement.

Draco came back to the present and gazed at Harry with loving eyes. In spite of
their yelling, Draco was thankful for Harry’s presence. He was glad that Harry
had held him when Draco needed him most and hadn’t made fun of his weakness.

“Thanks,” Draco said quietly, making Harry puzzled. “You said I should
thank you for helping me yesterday.”

“It was nothing.” Draco raised an eyebrow and Harry smiled. “Well, it was
and now you owe me. Too bad you don’t remember anything... Taking away the
part where you tried to kill me, the sex was really good.”

“Haha,” Draco forced a laugh while he called himself stupid for not
remembering having sex with Harry. ‘Damn.’

“And I liked the part where you needed me and I could be of some help to
you.”

Draco’s heart melted. Harry was being sweet to him. A part of him was
rejoicing about it, but the other part was sad. He didn’t want Harry saying
lovely things to him. It would be harder to let him go once it was over. The
thing was, Draco didn’t want it to be over.

“Potter?”

“Huh?”

“About what happened in the coffee shop...” ‘Why did you kiss me?’ Draco
wanted to ask, but he didn’t have the courage to do so.

“Oh, right. Sorry about that kiss. And about that stupid article... Colin said
he had nothing to do with it. Hagen published two pictures of his without his
permission. He doesn’t know who took the hospital photo though.”

“I wonder who did it... Do you believe anything Hagen wrote about me?”

“No. Well, except for the part where you were a brat in Hogwarts. Everything
else was fiction. I don’t think you’re an Auror just for show,” Harry
stated. Draco’s smile took his breath away. ‘Do you love me?’ was what
Harry wanted to ask him, but he chickened out. Instead, he asked, “So, when do
we leave?”

“I don’t know. I need to get in touch with Snape first. Then I need to ask
for a few days off... That will be quite tricky.”

“All right then.” Harry stood up and stared at his feet. “Hmm... Are you
coming back to my place?”

Draco licked his lips and hid a smile. “Do you want me to?”

Harry raised his head and said as if he didn’t care, “Only if you want to.
Do you?”

Their eyes met and Draco knew that he wouldn’t be able to deny anything to
those lovely green eyes. So he answered yes. What was a bloke to do?



                                Kapitel 33: 33.
                                ---------------


33.
It wasn’t easy for Draco to ask for some time off. Hagen’s article had made
quite a bad impression in his department. Most of his colleagues spent all of
Monday throwing snide looks at him, talking behind his back, wondering when
he’d turn into a big bad wolf. In the end, that was exactly what earned him
the whole week off. His chief thought it would be best if Draco stayed away from
all the fuss for a few of days or so. Hermione was horrified and she couldn’t
understand why Draco thought it would be so great to skip work for a whole week.
He just smiled at her mysteriously and left her wondering exactly what was going
on.

Snape’s letter arrived on Monday night, and on Tuesday morning Draco and Harry
were all set to take the train to Scotland. Harry’s eyes glowed like a
child’s when he was informed that they would be taking The Hogwarts Express.
The train had only a few passengers aboard, so it wasn’t difficult to find an
empty compartment. When the train left the station, Draco stretched happily and
then leaned against his seat. When he was comfortable enough, he fell asleep
almost immediately. It didn’t take long for his head to slide to the side and
land on Harry’s shoulder.

Harry smiled at Draco’s peaceful expression. He felt a funny feeling in his
heart and before he knew it he was brushing his lips softly on the blond’s
forehead. The simple gesture made his heart beat faster and for that he called
himself stupid. He was thankful that Draco wasn’t awake to see him behaving
like a goof.

Harry decided to focus his attention on the landscape outside, but no matter
what, his thoughts always turned to Draco. Ever since his breakdown Draco had
been acting quite restlessly. The blonde was most likely dead tired. No wonder
he had fallen asleep so quickly.

Their relationship had seemed to be affected by Draco’s breakdown as well, and
Harry was still pondering if that was a good or a bad thing. The good thing
about it was that there was this friendly atmosphere around them that hadn’t
existed before. They both seemed to want to look after one another. Their need
for intimacy had grown. Harry could feel in Draco’s every gesture that he
cared about him a lot. But while their friendship seemed to be blossoming
splendidly, the sex on the other hand had ceased.

Harry couldn’t really tell why. He was good to go. There was a fire inside him
that lit up every time his eyes found Draco. His desire to kiss Draco senseless
was coming more frequently. All it took was one look at those tasty lips to make
Harry go crazy. Ever since Harry had experienced such wild and fulfilling sex,
he wanted more. But Draco had spent the whole weekend avoiding Harry’s touch
as if he was afraid of it. They had even slept in separate beds.

The lack of sex had been very frustrating, but Harry was trying to act cool
about it. After all, it wasn’t his fault, was it? He hadn’t done anything
this time apart from kissing Draco and exposing their relationship for the whole
world to see. Harry made a face. He had screwed up. It’d be better if he just
admitted it. But he didn’t deserve to go without sex just because of that.

Draco just needed some time alone; after all, he had gone through a lot. First
Draco had been dragged in on Hermione and Fred’s plan to save Harry from his
gloomy world. Then he and Harry had kissed and sparks had flown leading them
down a path of uncontrollable and amazing sex. And then Draco had been forced to
choose between Harry and Bill, which had led him to the awful discovery that
Bill had been in love with his clone. To make things even worse, that Hagen
person had written that awful article about them and Draco’s evil mother had
paid him a visit. No wonder Draco was stressed out.

Harry should give Draco the space he needed to breathe. On the other hand, Harry
was also suffering. Harry was the one having horrible nightmares about
Voldemort. But they hadn’t stopped him from wanting Draco. He scowled. He
could use a drink. If only they served alcohol in the pumpkin juice.

What was happening to him? One minute he wanted Draco out his life and the next
he wanted to shag him senseless. It was all Draco’s fault for being such a
great kisser. And what was that thing Draco did with his tongue every time he
went down on Harry? It always made Harry’s head spin. Harry sighed and tried
to control himself. He wouldn’t think about Draco’s body riding his body and
experiencing the best shag of his life. He was stronger than that.

‘Think about other things... Don’t think about Draco’s tongue licking your
body and teasing your nipples. Oh, god. That felt good... No. Don’t go there.
Down, little Harry, down. This is not the time or place to be aroused.’

Draco’s hand slipped to his thigh and stopped a few inches from his private
parts. Harry gulped and pressed his lips together. ‘Think about ice. Lots of
ice falling on Draco’s body... no! Falling on your body, stupid!’ The ice
seemed to work only until Draco’s hand began to move again. Harry frowned and
looked at him suspiciously.

“Malfoy?” he called, but there was no response. Harry turned his head to the
window with a grimace. He focused on clearing his mind from lustful thoughts,
but it was quite hard to do when the object of his desires was cuddling him and
breathing on his neck. After a while, Harry felt a light kiss on his neck that
sent shivers down his spine. ‘Oh, so now I’m imagining things...’ he
though bitterly. Then he felt it again. He arched his eyebrows and instantly
turned to Draco, who was gazing at him sleepily but with unquestionable desire.
‘Little devil,’ Harry thought. “Weren’t you sleeping?” he asked.

“I was,” Draco answered leisurely. “But you kept moving so I woke up.
What’s wrong, Potter? Why are you so restless? There are no Dementors on the
train, are there?”

Harry scowled. “Haha. So bloody funny, Malfoy.”

Draco just shrugged and then stretched like a cat. He looked so cute doing it
that Harry’s libido went up again. “You’ve barely touched me the whole
weekend and now you ask me why I’m so restless?” Harry asked, unable to hold
his tongue. It was his frustrated desire talking, not him.

Draco looked at him in surprise, but was not as surprised as Harry. “Oh. I
didn’t think you’d notice. I mean, you didn’t make any effort to touch me
either. You didn’t even invite me to stay in your room.”

“I didn’t know I was supposed to do that.”

“Then how was I supposed to know you wanted me to touch you?”

Harry shrugged, upset. “I dunno. I just thought...”

“I get insecure too, Potter. I know it sounds incredible, but I also like to
be seduced. Why do I always have to take the initiative?” Draco asked,
irritated. “Oh, I get it. It makes it all easy for you. Then you don’t have
to admit that you yearn for me...”

“Don’t flatter yourself...” Harry grunted. “And I did take the
initiative a few times.”

“Funny, but I can’t remember any of those times. So you don’t yearn for
me?” Draco teased.

“No,” answered Harry staring outside. “Not when you’re being a prick
anyway.”

Draco sulked but then he smiled mischievously. He came closer to Harry until his
lips brushed the brunette’s left ear. Harry’s body reacted instantly. Draco
grinned victoriously and his hands began to draw small circles on Harry’s
thigh close to his crotch. “You don’t want me, then,” Draco whispered in
his ear. “Too bad. Your little friend seems to be ready to play.” Draco’s
fingertips brushed Harry’s cock. Harry held his breath.

“My friend is anything but little, Malfoy,” Harry muttered, still not daring
to look at Draco. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to control himself. But
seeing Harry trying so hard to resist him only made Draco’s persistence grow.
Draco had always liked a challenge. It would be fun to break Harry’s
self-restraint.

“Harry...” Draco whispered seductively while his fingers unbuttoned
Harry’s trousers and unzipped them. Harry jumped in his seat and grunted,
“Hands off, Malfoy!”

Draco pouted. “Why?”

“Why?” Harry asked incredulously. “Because this is the wrong place to do
this.”

“So you do want this.”

“Yes, but not here.”

Draco smiled. “Doesn’t the danger of getting caught turn you on?”

Harry sneered. “Oh, yes, sure. I get hard just thinking about the trolley lady
catching me with my pants down receiving a blowjob. Indeed, it’s a very sexy
thought.”

Draco made a face. “We can lock the door, you know? Or cast a spell to warn us
when someone gets close to our compartment.”

“The answer is still no.”

Draco sighed. “You don’t know how to have fun, Potter. And by the way, you
should make up your mind. I’m getting tired of trying to read your thoughts.
You’re hard to understand. One minute you’re the most adorable person in the
world and the next you turn into this annoying five-year-old brat who keeps
pulling my hair for fun. First you complain that I haven’t touched you this
weekend, and then you complain when I decide to touch you. You make me so
confused! Do you get now why I said those things to you?”

“I’m not a brat! And what things are you referring to?”

“You know what things, Potter. I won’t say them again.”

Harry stared at him. “But I swear I don’t know what you’re talking
about.”

“Whatever, Potter. Just turn around and enjoy the landscape. Clearly, it’s a
lot more interesting than me...” Draco crossed his arms and closed his eyes.
“I’m going to take a nap. Wake me up when we get to the station.”

“And I’m the five-year-old...” Harry rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“Brat.”

“Prude!” Draco retorted.

“Faggot.”

Draco opened his eyes instantly and grabbed Harry by his collar with a murderous
look. “You just said the forbidden word! You do know what that means, don’t
you?” Draco hissed. The tip of his nose touched Harry’s.

Harry concealed a smile. “No, not really.”

“Running naked around the block,” Draco reminded him.

“No way. I didn’t mean to insult you, just piss you off.”

Draco sat on top of Harry without letting go of Harry’s collar. “It
doesn’t matter. It’s all the same to me. A bet is a bet. You’ll have to
pay for your mistake, Potter.”

“There are other ways to pay you,” Harry suggested.

Draco raised an eyebrow. Was Harry trying to seduce him now? If he was, he
looked very cute doing it. Draco felt his heart melting and his body responding
to Harry’s intense gaze. “I hate you, Potter. I really, really hate you.”

“Likewise, Malfoy.”

Draco brushed their lips together and whispered, “So now you’re in the mood,
huh?”

“No. It’s just that you said I don’t know how to have fun, and I always
thought it was fun to tease you, so why not take the chance?”

Draco smirked. “Oh, so you have fun teasing me.”

“You look funny when you’re angry.”

“Well, you don’t. You don’t even look sexy... That just proves my point
that I am devilishly handsome and quite hard to resist. I look good when I’m
happy, when I’m angry and when I’m sad. I always look good,” Draco
bragged. “You, on the other hand...”

Harry gave him a half-smile. “Just shut up, Malfoy.”

“Why don’t you make me?” Draco dared. “After all, it was you who set me
on fire.”

And Harry did, using his most infallible and delicious weapon: a breathtaking
kiss. Harry buried his fingers into Draco’s hair and closed their lips
together. He felt Draco’s hot tongue search for his and demand more of him.
Harry broke off the kiss only because he needed air.

“You dirty bastard!” Harry exclaimed when he realised that he was now laying
on their seat and Draco was on top of him. “I was the one kissing you! Don’t
you dare complain that I never try to seduce you. Every time I try, you switch
the game! It’s not bloody fair!”

Draco chuckled and Harry felt bewitched by the sound of it. “Life isn’t
fair, Potter.”

“That’s not what this is about, Malfoy. You just can’t stand losing to me.
You still can’t stop turning everything into a competition,” Harry stated.

Draco felt slightly irritated by that because deep down it was true. “Don’t
be ridiculous, Potter.”

“But it’s true and you know it. It always bothers me, but today our rivalry
can make things more interesting.”

Draco looked at him puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“Let’s compete for who gets to be on top,” Harry said calmly, but his
cheeks turned slightly red.

“You want us to have sex here?” Draco asked sceptically.

“Hey, you started it.”

“I was thinking more of a simple blowjob, not the whole act!”

“Chicken,” Harry mumbled.

Draco smirked. “I’ll show you chicken, Potter. You asked for it, so be ready
for the best shag of your life!”

Harry didn’t bother telling him that Draco had already provided him with the
best shag of his life. After all, he was more than ready for a taste of paradise
again. Draco definitely didn’t need to know these things. He was already
conceited enough.

Harry’s thoughts fled when Draco’s mouth hungrily searched for his. He could
feel his whole body turning to jelly and already giving in, but he was
determined not to go down without a fight. Kissing his shyness goodbye, he
fought like a lion for his right to be on top. His hands stroked Draco’s hair,
then went down his face, lips, neck until they finally slid down Draco’s
T-shirt.

Draco moaned under his lips as Harry stroked his belly. Harry had the impression
that he heard Draco purr. Totally oblivious of where they were now, Harry
brought Draco’s body closer. Overtaken by desire, Draco enticed Harry with
nips and kisses on his neck.

Harry wanted to move his hands away from Draco’s buttocks, but they seemed to
be glued to them. He protested very weakly as Draco’s fingers unzipped them
both. He was losing the battle and he knew it. So he figured he should just
enjoy the ride.

Harry knew he was losing it and fast. Driven by desire, he was finally able to
take one of his hands away from Draco’s delightful buttocks. Then he made
Draco lick and suck his finger after a deep kiss.

With Draco busy with his neck and now half-naked chest, Harry slid his hand
under Draco’s pants. Draco’s reaction was immediate. He gave a strangled
moan. They were very close now. All Harry could do was follow Draco’s rhythm
until the final ecstasy.

“Harry...” Draco moaned. “This... was... so not... fair.”

Harry smiled in a daze, his pupils dilated and his cheeks slightly red. “Life
isn’t fair,” Harry whispered before being completely ravished by Draco.
“Draco...” Harry moaning his name so sweetly but sensually was too much for
Draco. He kissed Harry as if he wanted to devour him.

Their climax was fast but intense. Draco closed his eyes and laid his head on
Harry’s chest. They both waited for their hearts to calm down before speaking
at once, “Wow.” They gazed at each other shyly and then chuckled.

“I had something different in my mind but this was...” Draco said without
taking his eyes off Harry’s. “... mind-blowing.”

“Yeah... I know what you mean,” Harry said huskily.

Draco laid his head on Harry’s chest again and Harry’s heartbeat soothed
him.

“I think this is what made me attack you that day,” Draco said softly.

Harry frowned with his eyes closed. “What?”

“I hated the fact that I needed you desperately. But it didn’t matter. It
never does. I just wanted to feel you close to me. I wanted you to hold me. I
wanted you in me. I needed it. You calm me down. It was as if nothing could hurt
me as long as you were around,” Draco confessed.

Harry felt so touched by his words that he lost his voice for a while. “I...
Did you remember?”

“Yeah. I did. Not everything, but enough. That was why I was acting weird
around you this weekend. I was feeling embarrassed. I kept remembering my
behaviour and the way I... climbed on top of you... I was afraid of your
reaction if I treated you like a lover instead of a friend. I didn’t know what
you were thinking... I didn’t know if you hated me for it or...”

“I didn’t hate you. I told you it was remarkable.”

“Yeah, but what does it mean exactly?”

“That I liked it!”

“But it could also mean that you were traumatised for life.”

Harry cupped Draco’s face and their eyes locked. “Draco, I told you the sex
was great.”

Draco frowned. “Didn’t you say it was good?”

“No, I told you it was great. Besides, what difference does it make?”

“It’s a huge difference. Good is just... good. Good is a polite way of
saying that it could have been a lot better. But great it’s like... hearing
fireworks. I think you said it was good.”

Harry sighed. “It was the best sex I’ve ever had. Are you satisfied now? I
remember saying something very embarrassing too! Actually, I embarrassed myself
quite a lot that day... And by the way, you’re always saying that my memory
sucks, but you have a lousy memory too.”

Draco made a face. “Whatever.” Suddenly his breath got caught in his
throat.

“What? What’s wrong?” Harry asked worriedly.

“You called me Draco,” he pointed out, stunned.

“No, I didn’t,” Harry said with his cheeks getting hot.

“Yes, you did!”

“So what if I did?” Harry tried to sound as if it wasn’t such a big deal,
but he knew it was, and so did Draco.

“So what?” Draco asked hotly. “You always call me Malfoy with that bitter
tone of yours. You could call me Draco more often. After all, we’re... lovers
now. Right?”

Harry choked. “I... well...”

Harry was saved by the bell when the trolley lady entered their compartment and
screamed so loudly that Draco and Harry jumped and fell to the floor heavily. It
was a comical scene. While Harry clumsily tried to rearrange his clothes and
make the evidence of their actions go away with a flick of his wand, the trolley
lady kept mumbling things that didn’t make any sense. Draco calmly sat on the
floor, zipped his pants and smirked at her.

“Enjoying the show?” Draco asked.

“Draco!” Harry exclaimed bashfully.

“You called me Draco again!” Draco pointed out ecstatic.

“Shut up, Malfoy.”

Draco’s grin faded. “Well, it was good while it lasted.”

Harry turned to the pale lady who was still standing at the door like a statue
and said, “I’m so sorry. We were just... well, it’s just that... I...
I’m really sorry.”

The woman gave him a half-smile. “Oh, it’s... fine. I mean... It’s just
something that’s never happened here before, not on my shift at least.” She
picked up some things from the trolley and offered them to Harry. She didn’t
dare look at Draco. Every time she did she flushed from head to toe. “Do you
want something to eat or drink?”

“How about vodka?” Harry couldn’t help but ask.

“Chocolate frogs,” Draco said at the same time.

They stared at each other.

“No chocolates. You’ll be sick!” Harry exclaimed.

“Definitely no vodka for you! You’ll be drunk and a pain in the ass,”
Draco retorted immediately.

“Oh, you sound like a married couple!” the woman said merrily.

Draco and Harry looked at her instantly, both wearing the same horrified
expression. “No way! I’m not married to this thing!” they said at the same
time.

“Is that even possible?” Harry asked.

“No,” Draco answered bitterly. “We’re both men.”

“Oh, but you can marry in Scotland,” the woman said, happy to be of any
help.

“What?” they exclaimed at once.

“Well... A few years ago there was a gay Minister who wanted to marry his
partner, but the laws were very strict about the matter. In the end he was able
to pass a law in Scotland where marriages between wizards and witches of the
same sex are well-accepted.”

“Why didn’t I hear of this before?” Draco asked with a frown. “And how
can there be different laws in Scotland and England?”

The woman smiled gently as she explained, “Sometimes there are different laws
for different villages and regions. What’s legal in England might not be in
Scotland and Ireland. It’s always been like this. Well, not always... I think
it all happened in 1603 at a convention in Dublin where–”

“Oh, my goodness. She sounds like Hermione!” Draco complained making a
face.

“Who’s Hermione?” asked the woman.

“An insufferable know-it-all,” Draco said ignoring Harry’s disapproving
stare. “I wonder if Hermione knows about this law... She never said anything.
Aha! I’ll have something to brag about when I see her! I finally know
something she doesn’t!”

“Congratulations, five-year-old brat,” Harry sneered at Draco, who stuck his
tongue out at Harry. “And to think that you work at the Ministry! How could
you not know this? After all, this concerns you. You are...”

“Shut up! Don’t say ‘fag’ or I’ll hex you till your next life,”
Draco grunted, very annoyed by the fact that he didn’t know about something so
important. “And just a small reminder, Potter. You slept with me, so what does
that make you?”

“A person with mental problems?” Harry suggested sweetly. Draco gave him the
finger.

“So you two are not getting married?” she asked.

“No,” Draco answered tartly.

“Oh, too bad. You make a lovely couple. You have this amazing chemistry. And
the love you have for each other is all over your faces,” she said briskly.
“I think you should consider getting married. There’s nothing to be ashamed
of. It’s only love.”

Draco choked while Harry gasped, “We have nothing in common, lady. He’s
irritating. Besides, we do nothing but bicker about the stupidest things.” But
Harry agreed about the chemistry part.

“Yes, but I still think...”

“I’ll have some chocolate frogs. Any chocolate will do actually,” Draco
said, cutting her off. He was sick of strangers meddling in his love life.

“Please, tell me there’s something alcoholic in your trolley,” Harry asked
with a pleading look.

“Well, I have some brandy in my purse...”

Harry’s eyes sparkled and Draco kicked his ankle.

“No! You promised you wouldn’t drink!” Draco exclaimed angrily.

“I never promised you that!”

“Then you should have! You’re not drinking,” Draco said resolutely.

Harry crossed his arms. “Then you’re not having any chocolate!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

The lady looked at Harry and then at Draco. “Well, if you need anything, just
call me. I’m down the hall. Hmm...” she seemed to be pondering something,
and when she made up her mind she said, “You do behave like a married
couple.” Harry and Draco made a face. Then she exclaimed, “Oh! You’re
Harry Potter!”

“You’re only noticing it now?” Draco asked, astounded. “Well, I suppose
it’s hard to notice the scar when he has his pants down.” It was Harry’s
turn to kick Draco. “Ouch! You didn’t have to kick me!”

“Then don’t say stupid things.”

The woman smiled. She looked thrilled with her new discovery. “I saw you both
in The Daily Prophet! Oh, those pictures were so lovely! I thought it was so
romantic. You’ve loved each other since school days.”

“No!” Draco quickly denied, his face reddening.

“No?” Harry raised an eyebrow questioningly. That was a subject that
interested him very much.

“No!” Draco wasn’t lying; after all, Harry hadn’t liked him since
Hogwarts.

“Oh,” said Harry and the lady together, with something that seemed like
disappointment. Draco frowned at Harry but didn’t say anything.

She put her thumbs up and smiled. “I’m cheering for you. I hope you can work
things out. You clearly desire each other,” she said with a little giggle
before leaving the compartment and closing the door behind her.

“Merlin. What the bloody hell was that? We’ll be news again, won’t we?”
Draco said more to himself than Harry. “She’ll definitely gossip about this.
I don’t want people knowing where we’re going...”

“Well, you should have kept your hands away from me. Then she would have just
passed by without much ado!”

“Oh, so now it’s my fault?”

“Isn’t it?” Harry replied.

“No! You tempted me!”

“So did you!”

“It’s a lie and you know it, Scar-head!”

“Shut up, spoiled brat!”

They sat on opposite sides and refused to look at each other for a long time.
Suddenly, Draco looked at Harry and began to chuckle until he was laughing hard.
Harry was infected by it and soon joined Draco’s laughter.

“This is ridiculous,” Draco said, wiping a few tears away. “I mean,
we’re behaving like kids!”

“Yeah.” Harry chuckled. “Although what we did today was anything but
childish.”

Draco sent him a naughty look. “See? You tempt me. You pretend to be all
innocent but you’re the devil, Potter.”

“Harry,” Harry said quietly.

Draco’s heart stopped beating. “What?”

“Call me Harry,” Harry repeated, looking anywhere but at Draco. It had just
occurred to him that they were too intimate already to be calling each other
their last names.

Draco felt something get stuck in his throat. He had waited for that moment his
entire life. His heart was in his mouth. “Is this a trick?” Harry arched his
eyebrows questioningly and Draco said, “You aren’t going to hex me if I call
you by your first name, are you?”

Harry smiled feebly. “No. I won’t hex you. Unless you deserve it.”

Draco smiled back. He felt as if he was walking on clouds. “Good.”

“Good or great?” Harry teased him.

“Shut up.” Draco bit his lower lips to prevent a goofy smile. “I’ll call
you Harry if you call me Draco.”

Harry pretended to think about it, but then he said with an intense stare,
“It’s a deal.”

Draco cleared his throat and looked away to hide his feelings. “Ok then.” If
he looked at Harry he wouldn’t be able to hold his tongue any longer. He would
confess his unconditional love for him and ruin things. He couldn’t do that.

Silence fell upon them, and when their eyes finally met again there was
something different between them. It was such a strong connection that it scared
them both, but at the same time attracted them even more.

“Should I call you my boyfriend now?” Draco joked to alleviate the tension.

Harry smiled. “Don’t push it.”

“It’s your loss.”

“I know.”

Draco had never wanted to read Harry’s mind as much as in that moment.
“Potter... I mean, Harry. Wow. This is weird.” Harry chuckled and Draco felt
like snogging him again. “Harry, since the trolley lady is cheering for us,
maybe we can convince her to keep our journey a secret.” Harry looked at him
with surprise and Draco asked, “What?”

“I was thinking the exact same thing.”

Draco smirked. “That’s because we’re soul mates.”

“Keep dreaming...” Harry said strangely happy.

“Harry?”

“What?”

“Since we were already caught in the act, do you think that we can...”

Draco didn’t have time to finish his sentence. He was grabbed from his seat to
land in Harry’s lap, a place that he was more than happy to occupy. “Yes,”
Harry whispered before kissing Draco and beginning their game of seduction all
over again.



                                Kapitel 34: 34.
                                ---------------


34.
“Are we there yet?” Harry asked with a yawn. It was almost midnight and they
were still on the road. He was tired already, but he didn’t have the courage
to ask Draco to pull over. He had already done it four times. One more and Draco
would use the Cruciatus curse on him.

“Just a little more and we’ll be there,” Draco said, keeping his eyes on
the bumping road. “You aren’t going to ask me to pull over again, are
you?” There was a distinct threat in Draco’s voice.

Harry made a face and then yawned again. “No, I won’t. But really, where the
hell does he live? We’ve been travelling for hours! I’m hungry and sleepy.
Maybe we should look for a small village or something.”

“There are sandwiches in a bag in the back,” Draco informed.

“And you tell me this now?” Harry asked angrily, turning to search for the
bag.

Draco shrugged. “I didn’t know you were hungry.”

“Of course I am! Last time we ate something we were still at the station.”

Harry waited for Draco’s reply, but the blond seemed to be in a world of his
own. Harry wondered what he was thinking. Draco had such a poker face that it
was hard to tell. With a heavy sigh, Harry took an angry bite from the sandwich
and was pleased with its taste.

It was astonishing to discover that Draco not only had a driver’s license but
also knew a lot about cars. Harry didn’t really know why he had been so
surprised, after all Draco lived among muggles and these things didn’t seem to
bother him anymore. Harry was curious about that change in his character, but he
was still too much of a coward to ask. Draco was very reserved about his
personal life. Whatever happened to Draco must have traumatised him for life.

Harry rested his head comfortably on his seat. Since they had discarded
Apparation for matters of security, at least they had rented a very good car at
the station and were now heading for Snape’s secret haven, a place so hard to
find that Harry was beginning to think that: a) the place didn’t exist and the
greasy bastard was laughing at them by now or b) Snape’s place was in the
middle of the ocean.

Wherever it was, it was taking too long to get there and Harry was beginning to
feel very pissed off. Snape surely broke the record for the world’s most
unsociable person.

Draco finally pulled over when Harry finished eating his sandwich. Harry let out
a happy yelp, but when he got out and saw nothing around him but endless fields,
he frowned.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” he muttered. He could hear the ocean not
so far away. He turned to stare at Draco and waited for an explanation.
“Where’s the bastard’s house? Please, don’t tell me we are lost or
I’ll kill you.”

Draco calmly leaned on the car’s door and gave him a half-smile. “You know,
I was thinking about playing with you a little by telling you that we are indeed
lost, but I’m really too tired to argue with you. I have a really good time
when we’re shouting at each other, but right now I just want a cozy bed.”

“Where’s the fucking house?” Harry asked in a hiss.

“This is it, Potter.”

Harry looked around again and found nothing. “All right. Where’s the
catch?”

Draco was now grinning widely. He walked closer to Harry, put his arms around
his waist and rested their foreheads together. “You’re smart, Potter. I know
it’s hard, but try using your brain a little and you’ll come up with the
answer.”

Harry’s eyes were flaming with irritation when he said, “My brain works just
fine, Malfoy. Let me guess… The bastard’s house is protected so he must have
a Secret Keeper. That’s a first for our dear Professor. I didn’t know he was
capable of making friends brave enough to accept being his Secret Keeper. I’m
shocked, really,” Harry sneered.

Draco made a face. “Well, he has to trust someone. And he isn’t that
unpleasant when you get to know him.”

“I would really like to believe in you, but I have too many unpleasant
memories with him and I got to know him more than I wanted with our Occlumency
lessons.”

“He taught you Occlumency?” Draco asked with a stunned expression.

“Yes, he did.”

“Damn you, Potter! How did you get him to do it?” Draco seemed very upset.

“Dumbledore made him do it. Don’t feel jealous. It was anything but
consensual. He hated those times we spent together as much as I did.” Harry
left out the fact that sometimes Snape had actually resembled a human being.

“I had to work my butt off to make him teach me. It figures… You always had
it easy, Potter,” Draco said, sulking.

“Oh, say that again! When did I have it easy, Malfoy?”

“Everybody sucked up to you at Hogwarts,” Draco stated, taking a step back
and crossing his arms.

Harry rolled his eyes. “Oh, please! You aren’t going to behave like a brat
now, are you? You’re still jealous of me. Unbelievable! I thought you were too
tired to start an argument with me.”

“I am.”

“It doesn’t look like it. And I’m already very pissed off, so…”

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake!” said a throaty voice behind Harry. “You two are
more irritating than I can remember!”

“Uncle!” Draco exclaimed happily, leaning forward to give Snape a hug. Harry
thought he saw Snape smiling, but with only the moonlight on them it was hard to
tell.

“Uncle?” Harry sneered at Snape, who glared at him like the old days. Harry
almost felt like he was in potions class again and had just exploded his
cauldron.

“Let me take a look at you, Potter,” said Snape taking out his wand and
pointing at Harry. Harry drew a step back distrustfully. “Lumus.”

The whole area brightened up and while Snape stared at Harry with a frown, Harry
was absolutely shocked by his ex-professor’s appearance. The greasy long hair
was gone. It wasn’t even pitch black anymore. It was short, slightly spiky and
with a perfect mixture of grey and black. And the most stunning thing about it
was that Snape looked like a whole new man. He looked younger and handsome.
Although Snape was still grumpy and moody at first sight, there was something
about him that Harry couldn’t quite place, a strange sparkle in his eyes.

“You look like the same twit as always, only thinner,” Snape said with a
grimace.

“I’m working on that,” said Draco, starting to feel irritated with the way
Harry was staring at Snape.

“You look… different,” Harry muttered without taking his eyes off Snape.

“Hey!” Draco scowled at Harry. “You aren’t gay remember? Should I be
jealous, Harry?”

“Don’t be stupid, Draco!” Harry replied angrily. “I just said he looked
different, not that I want to sleep with him. Eww!”

“The same goes for me, Potter.” Snape looked at Draco and then at Harry.
“So now you’re on a first name basis, huh? That’s certainly a big
change.” Harry and Draco flushed. “Well, you can tell me the news inside.
It’s freezing out here.”

While Draco got their bags from the car, Harry still wondered where the house
was. He still couldn’t see anything but a vast field. He watched Draco and
Snape from afar walking away to the emptiness. He cleared his throat, upset.
Draco and Snape stared at him questioningly and Harry said slightly irritated,
“I can’t see the house.”

Snape smiled in a nasty way and Harry didn’t find him so handsome anymore.
“So the great Harry Potter can’t break my Secret Keeper spell with his
super-powers?”

Harry grunted. “I could if I wanted to, but I’m too tired.”

Draco moved forward, leaving their bags floating in the air, and then gave Harry
a piece of paper. “I forgot. Please, forgive me,” Draco said
apologetically.

“It’s alright,” mumbled Harry. He could never be angry with Draco when he
behaved so cutely.

Written on the paper was Snape’s address and the name of his Secret Keeper.

“So, it’s Professor McGonagall. It makes sense,” Harry said to himself.

“You better take this to your grave, Potter,” Snape threatened.

Harry smiled in a mysterious way. “I guess you’ll have to trust me.” It
felt good to know so many of your enemy’s secrets. Not that Snape was exactly
an enemy, but they fought too much to be considered friends. Hermione had had
the nerve to say once that Snape behaved like a father to him.

“He does protect you a lot. I think he cares about you in his own distorted
way...” she had said.

That comment had sounded so ridiculous that Harry hadn’t bothered to retort.
But then again, Hermione was the first to notice his attraction for Draco and
vice-versa. He shook his head to send those thoughts away.

“Potter!” Snape called him with a frown. “You still daydream even when you
aren’t taking classes! Don’t tell me you’re still not seeing the
house.”

Harry clenched his teeth and then looked up. The vision took his breath away. It
was a small castle that combined Victorian, Greek and Colonial Revival
influences. Harry was so amazed by its beauty that his jaw refused to close.
“I see it alright,” he said absent-mindedly.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Draco asked standing next to him.

Harry nodded. “I confess I was expecting something more sober and gloomy. You
know, Snape-like.”

Snape scowled. “Hey, you little... I’m not your professor anymore but I’m
still older than you, Potter. Show me some respect.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Harry with a shrug, walking towards the house excitedly.

Snape got his wand and pointed it at him, but Draco quickly caught his arm and
lowered it. “No fighting, please.”

Snape wrinkled his forehead. “So you’re the only one allowed to yell at
him?”

“Well, yeah.” Draco’s cheeks turned red. “He is my lover after all.”

Snape bit his lower lip and sighed. “The Daily Prophet was telling the truth,
then.”

“Yep. I mean, only the part where Harry and I got together is accurate. The
rest is just rubbish.” Draco waited anxiously for his godfather’s next
words. Whether he liked it or not, Snape was like a second father to him so his
approval meant a lot to him.

“What do you want me to say? He’s stubborn, block-headed, impulsive and a
Gryffindor...” Draco made a face. “But he has a good heart. And what the
hell! He’s cute.”

“Don’t I know it?” Draco smiled and he felt like a weight had been taken
off his shoulders. “I love him.”

Snape didn’t seem to be very happy about that. “I noticed it a long time
ago. The way you treated him looked… familiar. You know I don’t mind if
Potter is your choice, Draco. But does he love you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, make sure you do, because it was hard to pick up the pieces the last
time you came to me crying your heart out.”

Draco felt the weight return to his shoulders.

-

Draco was amused by Harry’s behaviour. The brunet walked around Severus’
house as if he owned the place. After dinner, while Draco watched Harry lying
down on the couch with a smile, Severus seemed uncomfortable. Draco sat next to
Harry and asked curiously, “How can you be so relaxed?”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know. There’s something about this house…
something in the air… It makes me feel very peaceful. It’s odd.”

“Tell me about it!” Draco exclaimed.

Draco glanced at his godfather with a smile, but when he noticed how stiff
Severus’ body was, he knew that something wasn’t quite right. His eyes
scanned Severus. Indeed, Harry was right about him. Severus had changed
immensely over the years. He didn’t even resemble the old Potions Master with
the bad hair. Draco remembered the last time he had spent time with Severus in
that house. By then Severus had showed some signs that he was changing, but this
time Severus was glowing. He never looked so attractive. Draco’s eyes kept
paying attention to every little detail of Severus’ body, and he let out a
yelp when something gold shone on Severus’ annular finger.

“Did you get married?” Draco asked, stunned.

Harry instantly sat up on the couch and stared at Snape with avid curiosity.
“Oh, my god! Is that a wedding ring? Who would be crazy enough to marry
you?”

Severus flushed furiously and he instinctively hid his hand behind his back.
“It’s none of your business.”

Draco looked at him a little sad and disappointed. “You can’t even tell
me?”

Severus cursed Draco under his breath. He was never able to deny his godson
anything when Draco made that face. He sighed. “Ok. Yes, I got married a year
ago… It was no big deal. We didn’t throw a party or anything like that, so
we didn’t send invitations. At our ages it would have been ridiculous.”

“Where is she/he?” asked Harry and Draco in one voice. They stared at one
another and then Harry looked at Severus as if he had just made a huge
discovery. “It’s a he?” Harry asked, amused. Severus just grunted, but
Harry persisted by saying, “You’re gay? A lot makes sense now. Wait until
Ron hears about it.”

“Hey!” Draco complained. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Yes, Potter,” Severus sneered. “After all, as far as I can see, you
aren’t exactly straight, are you?”

Harry flushed hotly. “Draco is an exception.”

“Yeah, right,” said Severus with a smirk. “That’s what everybody
says.”

Draco didn’t seem to be happy about Harry’s answer either, but looking on
the bright side of things, at least Harry had the courage to admit aloud that he
and Draco had a relationship. ‘I’m an exception… Shouldn’t that make me
happy?’ Draco asked himself with a bitter taste in his mouth. He was getting
tired of Harry’s constant change of behaviour when they were together. One
minute he was sweet and the next he was a total jerk.

“Whatever,” said Harry sulking.

Feeling the aggressive vibe between Harry and Severus, Draco decided to
intervene and change topics. “Do we get to meet him? Is he someone we
know?”

This time even Harry noticed Severus’ tension. That made him very
apprehensive. “He isn’t a Death Eater, is he?”

“No, Potter! For Merlin’s sake!” Severus exclaimed tartly. “Would you
drop it? You’ll meet him later. Right now I want to know exactly why you’re
both here disturbing my peaceful life.”

Harry licked his lips. “Didn’t Draco tell you?”

“No. He just told me he wanted some time off because of The Daily Prophet’s
article and because he was afraid of Lucius’ reaction to that St. Mungo’s
picture.”

Harry instantly looked at Draco with surprise. “Are you afraid of your father?
You didn’t tell me anything. Why? Why are you afraid of him? Isn’t he in
jail?”

Draco sighed. “My father will know that I was responsible for you getting
better.”

“So?”

“So? Are you stupid?” Draco couldn’t believe Harry wasn’t worried about
that. “My father will be really angry, Potter. He’ll send someone after me,
or worse, he might come after me himself. My mother told me that Lucius is
appealing his sentence and knowing my father, he’ll probably buy the entire
jury to be freed. He’ll come after us.”

“He’ll ask for your head on a silver plate, Potter,” Severus mentioned
with a grimace. “After all, Lucius will never forgive Draco for being with you
of all people.”

Harry felt his anger rising but he shrugged it away. “So what? Let him come.
I’m not afraid of him.”

“But Draco is and I won’t let anything happen to him because of that sick
bastard. Not anymore,” Severus stated protectively.

Draco was very touched by Severus’ words, but also a little annoyed. They were
making him feel like such a coward.

“I guess that your father had a major part in what happened to you after you
left Hogwarts,” Harry said so accurately that Draco almost choked. “What did
he do? Do you really think I’ll hate you for something he did to you?”

“You didn’t tell him?” Severus asked reprovingly.

Draco felt out of breath and dizzy. “What happened then has nothing to do with
this. We didn’t come here just because I’m afraid of Lucius. I can handle my
father.” That wasn’t exactly true, but Draco wouldn’t admit his weakness
in front of them. “We came here because Harry said he was having nightmares
with Voldemort and...”

“... because we want to know more about bonds,” Harry completed.

Severus went slightly pale at first, but he quickly regained his cold posture.
It wasn’t in his nature to panic. “Ok. First things first. Let’s start
with something light. What the hell do you want to know about bonds and why?”

“Draco saved me more than once,” Harry started.

“And we think that we were connected with a life and death bond. I talked to
Hermione and she seemed to think that bonds can be dangerous,” Draco
continued. “She also said that these bonds can lead to insanity if one or both
parts love or hate each other, and she quoted you.”

“Me?” Severus asked, surprised.

“She told me about your bond with Harry’s father. James Potter saved you and
since you couldn’t return the favour you felt so indebted to him that you
became obsessed and you turned your anger and care towards Harry instead.”

“Hey, Hermione told you a lot, that traitor!” Harry exclaimed angrily.

Severus didn’t look so pleased either. “Miss Granger still thinks she knows
everything, doesn’t she?” he hissed.

“Mrs. Weasley,” Harry corrected him. “She married Ron.”

“What a lovely couple they must be,” Severus sneered under Harry’s
irritated look.

Severus walked towards the bar and poured himself a drink, then offered it to
Harry and Draco. Harry opened his mouth to accept it, but Draco kicked his leg
hard making him sulk and refuse it. Severus watched the scene with amusement.
Draco and Harry reminded him of his relationship with the man who shared his
bed.

Severus sat on his armchair and stared at the fireplace. He knew Harry and
Draco’s visit would be difficult on him, but he didn’t think he would feel
this bad. Severus was used to having upsetting things in his life. Surely he
could handle a few questions about bonds and Voldemort. He shivered and then
placed the glass on the little table next to him. Voldemort and bonds wouldn’t
be so terrible to deal with. It was another thing that was making him tense and
nervous. Or better yet, someone who might show up at any minute.

Severus looked at Harry and Draco and made a face. “Bonds are only dangerous
when they are caused by magic. Natural bonds mean absolutely nothing unless you
want them to. Natural bonds are created by your own conscience, that’s all. I
felt indebted to your father because I hated the fact that he had saved me.
There isn’t any invisible thread linking you two just because Draco saved you,
Potter. Even if you do feel like you owe him something, it doesn’t mean that
anything bad will happen to you or him if this debt isn’t paid. This is just
stupid.”

“But you were so obsessed with the idea of saving Harry...” Draco muttered,
receiving a deadly look from Severus.

“Obsession is a strong word...” said Severus tartly. “I expected Mr Potter
to be just as reckless and irresponsible as his father and his gang was,
so–”

“Blimey! Would you stop comparing me to my father? I hate when people do that!
Besides, I thought we had worked that out,” Harry said moodily.

“We did, Potter,” said Severus crisply. “We resolved our issues about that
matter a long time ago. We agreed that even though you have the same taste for
trouble as your father, we also agreed that you weren’t a bully like him.”

“We also agreed that my dad eventually did grow up and changed for the best.
You did say my mum was the best thing that happened to him, didn’t you? And
you also said I had some of her good qualities besides her green eyes. Didn’t
you?” Harry said defiantly.

Severus made a face. “Yes, Potter. We’ve been through this before. I don’t
feel like going through our touching apology scene all over again. The thing is,
I couldn’t return the favour to your father, so I promised myself that I would
do anything in my power to protect you, even if from yourself, which proved to
be right since you were such a reckless little brat.” Harry and Severus
exchanged a dark look. “And I’m glad I could stop you from harming yourself
on many occasions. It didn’t have anything to do with bonds. It was just
something I felt I had to do. Stop worrying about bonds, because unless you cast
one upon yourselves, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Did you cast a magical
bond upon yourselves?” Severus felt like he had to ask, after all, it was
Potter he was talking about.

“No,” answered Draco and Harry at the same time.

“So you guys had a heart to heart conversation in the past?” Draco asked
curiously.

“I wouldn’t call it that exactly...” Harry mumbled. “It was more like
yelling apologies to one another. But it made me feel good.”

Severus rolled his eyes. “Then problem number one solved. As for the other
problem...” Severus felt chills down his spine. “What exactly is going
on?”

“Harry is having nightmares about Voldemort,” Draco began nervously.

Severus gulped, but he tried to remain cool about it. “What kind of
nightmares?”

“What kind of question is that?” Harry asked with a sneer. “Nightmares are
nightmares! They’re meant to scare you to death, aren’t they? That’s the
kind of nightmare I have. I keep reliving every painful moment of my life and I
can’t do anything to stop them. At first I was just watching the same scene
over and over, but somehow the nightmares are changing. In one of my dreams,
Voldemort looked right at me. In another one, I was him. I mean, my dream self
incorporated him or something.”

Severus couldn’t bear to keep still any longer. He stood up and began to pace
nervously around the room.

“And then Draco told me about how Voldemort managed to cast a curse on me just
before he died. A curse that would keep me in an endless nightmare. I was so
pissed off! None of you bothered to tell me until now!”

“Please, Potter. You wouldn’t have believed us back then, no matter how
friendly we became after our little chat,” Severus pointed out cynically.

“That’s what I told him,” Draco said.

“But I deserved to know the truth! I mean, look at me now! I’m having these
nightmares and–”

“Since when?” Severus asked, cutting across him.

“A couple of months ago. They don’t happen every day, just once in a
while... But I–”

“Then perhaps these nightmares of yours are a psychological problem, Potter.
If they were caused by Voldemort’s curse, you’d have been having these bad
dreams since you got out of St Mungo’s. Did you?”

“No, but–”

“I made your healing potion myself, Potter. It took me a lot of time and
effort. It worked brilliantly.”

“Not so brilliantly if I’m having nightmares now!” Harry exclaimed
grimly.

“And what makes you think that your nightmares have anything to do with
Voldemort’s curse? Curses don’t just die away to emerge again years later!
This is probably the product of your own fears. Perhaps something inside you is
telling you to face your deepest traumas once and for all.”

That was what Harry thought, too. But he needed to make sure that it was really
that and not a leftover from Voldemort’s curse.

“How can I make sure of it?” Harry asked.

Severus looked at him quietly for a long time, pondering what to say. There was
a way, but it would be too risky. He had worked so hard to keep Harry away from
trouble. He wouldn’t screw up by sending him to a dangerous place. Besides,
Severus wondered what he would have to say about all of it. But if there was a
way, Harry had the right to know and make the decision himself. After all, he
wasn’t a kid anymore.

Severus sighed. “There’s this wizard who lives in Tibet. He’s known for
being one of the wisest men alive, even wiser than Dumbledore was. He lives
reclusively, even more than I do. It is said that only those who are meant to
see his whereabouts will see them. You have to earn your right to see him and
that’s the tricky part. I can point you in the right direction, Potter, but I
can’t help you face the obstacles that you’ll find along the way, because I
honestly don’t know anything about them. I don’t know how dangerous they
are, but they are said to be quite difficult to pass.”

Harry and Draco shivered. Draco reached out for Harry’s hand instinctively and
squeezed it. Harry squeezed back, needing Draco’s support. He was so
absent-minded that he didn’t even notice Severus’ look of surprise.

“What can this guy do for Harry?” Draco asked in a whisper.

“He can read your soul. He can bring troubled souls their peace of mind back.
Maybe that’s what you need, Potter. But like I said, it’s quite difficult to
get to him. Some say he’s not even real.”

“But you believe that he is, right?” Harry asked.

Severus seemed disturbed. “I do... But that’s only because Dumbledore was
one of the rare people who met the guy.”

“Then he is real,” Harry stated. “I’ll go after him. I’ll find
him.”

Severus sighed, annoyed. “Didn’t you just hear what I said? It’s bloody
impossible to get to him. You’re going to Tibet! Not only muggles have
political problems there, but wizards too! You can’t just enter Tibet!
Besides, you might face many magical challenges, Potter, and I don’t think
you’re ready for that. You’ve been away from action for quite some time. You
need to prepare yourself first.”

“I’ll go,” Draco said resolutely.

Severus shook his head. “I’m sorry, Draco, but you can’t. Only Harry can
do it. It’s his problem, not yours.”

“It is my problem! After all, I was the one who made him drink that healing
potion. If it didn’t work the way we thought it would, then I have a
responsibility to it and...”

“You can’t go, Draco,” Severus said firmly.

“I’ll go with him, then,” Draco stated.

“Draco...” Severus began, but was interrupted by Harry’s firm voice.

“You can’t.” Harry looked at Draco. Suddenly things seemed very clear to
him. He knew that he would have to face this journey alone. “This guy... Snape
says that only those who are meant to see him will meet him. I am that person.
I’m the one who’s been fighting with myself ever since I can remember. I’m
divided in two. I need to put myself together again. He’ll help me, I’m sure
of it. But you can’t go with me, Draco. This is my task alone. I can’t let
you go with me. Sorry.” Draco was about to complain when Harry turned to
Severus and said, “Tell me how to get there.”

Severus felt his heart get stuck in his throat. He could only do so much. There
was another person who was better fit for the job, but Severus wasn’t sure how
Harry was going to react when he found out.

“I... There’s...” Severus felt his hands shaking and he clenched his
fists. “Dumbledore wasn’t the only person I know who met him. There was
someone else... Someone you know quite well, Potter. He should be your teacher,
not me.”

“Who?” Harry asked curiously.

“It’s me, Harry,” said a hoarse voice from the door.

Harry felt like time had frozen and he only had eyes for the tall man who had
suddenly appeared in front of him.



                                Kapitel 35: 35.
                                ---------------


35.
It was like being in a surreal dream, an alternate reality where what you
thought was real wasn’t real at all. Just when Harry thought his life
couldn’t be more complicated, here was something to turn things upside down
again. Harry vaguely thought he heard Draco asking him if he was ok, but his
eyes were glued on the man in front of him, a man he had thought dead for a long
time. Here was a man whose death had never stopped haunting him. At some point
he felt like there was something stuck in his throat, and his eyes burned with
unshed tears. He refused to cry though. First he wanted to understand what was
going on.

“Sirius?” Harry asked in a whisper.

“Harry...” said Sirius with a feeble smile. He tried to approach Harry and
touch him – Sirius had been dying to do that for a long time – but Harry
immediately took a step back and drew out his wand.

“Potter, put your wand down!” Severus said, upset, pulling out his own
wand.

“Severus, don’t do that!” Sirius berated him. “He’s already scared!
Don’t make the situation any worse!”

While Severus and Sirius silently battled with their eyes, Draco didn’t say
anything. He was as stunned as Harry. Everybody close to Harry knew that he had
been severely traumatised by Sirius’s death. To see Sirius Black alive was a
deep shock, and Draco could only imagine what Harry was going through.

Finally, Severus lowered his wand with a resigned sigh and then turned to Draco
to say, “Let’s put on the kettle, Draco. They have a lot of... catching up
to do...”

Draco didn’t know if it was such a good idea to leave Sirius and Harry alone.
One look at Harry was enough to be sure of that. Draco could feel his confusion
and pain, but most of all, he could feel Harry’s anger. But just when Draco
decided to stay, Severus grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out.

“What the fuck!” Draco complained, removing his arm from Severus’ forceful
grip. “I don’t want to leave Harry alone with that man! What are you
thinking? You hurt me!”

Severus sighed. “I’m sorry, Draco. But Sirius has been waiting for this
moment since I rescued him from the ancient doorway. That talk is between him
and Harry. It’s their moment. I can’t meddle in it no matter how much I want
to. I understand your feelings. You’re worried about Potter and I’m worried
about Sirius. But... all we can do now is wait.”

Draco frowned. “Is he really Sirius Black?” Draco needed to make sure of
that, because he knew Harry was also having the same doubts.

“Of course it’s Sirius,” Severus answered with a scowl. “Do you think I
would leave Potter alone with some fake?”

“How did this happen?” Draco asked in disbelief. “He was dead! You all
told Harry he was dead! You let Harry go through all that pain for nothing? And
what’s with you and him? I thought you loathed him!”

“I did.” Severus felt his palms sweating. This conversation was making him
very uncomfortable.

“Then why is he staying here with you? Why...” Draco stopped abruptly and
opened his eyes wide as a sudden thought struck him. “Oh, my God! He’s the
guy you married? How’s that even possible?”

“Oh, please, Draco. You, more than anyone else, should understand. After all,
you hated Harry Potter with all your might for most of your life. You even
wanted him dead. The same happened with me and Sirius. We were attracted to each
other, but we were too stubborn to realise or accept it. Besides, we were from
opposite houses and we were both guys. Those things were enough to make anyone
go crazy. It didn’t help that we also had dreadfully mismatched
personalities... But I’m sure you can understand what it’s like to hate and
love someone at the same time.”

Draco did. He knew exactly what it felt like love and hate someone. Even now he
still had trouble coming to terms with his feelings. “All right. So you love
Sirius Black. That doesn’t answer the main question though. Everybody thought
he was dead! How did he survive?”

“Actually, my love for Sirius does answer your question...” Severus said,
flushing slightly and looking terribly embarrassed. “I risked my life to bring
him back. Ironic, isn’t it? I prayed for so long for his death that when it
finally happened, all it did was cause more pain.”

“So he was dead.”

“Not exactly. Come on. I’ll tell you all you want to know, but first,
let’s have some tea.” Severus gestured for Draco to follow him to the
kitchen. Draco obeyed him after hesitating a little. While Severus prepared the
tea, he said, “Sit down, Draco, because this is going to take a while...”

Harry didn’t even notice when Severus dragged Draco away. He was trapped in a
living nightmare, one that he knew he wouldn’t just wake up from. He felt the
pain growing inside his chest. He was once again back on the day of Sirius’s
death and once more it was impossible to breathe. Facing Sirius now, the awful
truth hit him with the force of a Bludger. He had never gotten over that moment
in the Department of Mysteries. No matter how many times he had tried to
convince himself that none of that had been his fault, he knew better. It was
his fault. He had never left those feelings of guilt go. That was a wound that
had never healed completely.

Harry couldn’t understand who this man was. Was he a ghost? No, he couldn’t
be. Nearly Headless Nick had told him that Sirius had moved on. Then who was
standing in front of him right now? He did look a lot like Sirius. Perhaps this
was only a sick joke or a game to destroy him. Harry still had many enemies. In
his disturbed state of mind it even crossed his mind that Draco and Snape had
teamed up to bring him down. His heart ached.

“Who are you?” Harry asked, gripping his wand in his trembling hands.

“I’m Sirius, Harry,” Sirius answered.

“No,” Harry shook his head with a grimace. “You can’t be Sirius. He’s
dead. He died a long time ago. I saw it with my own eyes! I saw him get hit by
that bitch and fall behind the veil! Everybody told me he was dead! Why are you
here? Are you a ghost?”

Sirius sighed tiredly. He had known it wouldn’t be easy to convince Harry of
his existence. He needed to be patient with Harry. “I’m not a ghost, Harry.
I am Sirius.”

Harry’s mind began to swirl and he felt faint. “Then... Was it all a lie?
Everybody lied to me?”

“Nobody lied to you. Nobody knew.”

“I don’t believe you!” Harry shouted. “You’re a goddamned liar! Prove
to me that you’re Sirius! Tell me something that only Sirius and I would
know!”

“I used to be Padfoot for you. I told you all about my family tree, remember?
When I was stuck in that dreadful house... that house that used to drive me
nuts... We talked about my family. You asked if you could live with me if you
were expelled from Hogwarts that same day. Do you remember when you asked me and
Remus about your father? You didn’t like what you saw in Severus’ Pensieve
so you wanted to know more about it. You didn’t like the new image you had of
James as an idiotic bully. You told me you felt sorry for Severus, and that you
couldn’t understand why you mother had fallen for your dad if she hated him so
much.”

Harry’s wand slipped away from his fingers and fell to the floor. He felt his
knees grow weak and his vision blur slightly. He still couldn’t understand
what was going on. “You were dead,” he mumbled feebly.

Sirius carefully took another step towards him. Harry didn’t move this time,
but he flinched.

“It’s complicated...” began Sirius, moving his hands nervously. “I
don’t know how to explain to you what happened after I fell behind the veil.
It was a very confusing time. There were periods of intense darkness followed by
moments of peace and quiet... I felt as if I was lost in an endless dream. I
thought I was dead, but there was nobody familiar to welcome me as I thought
there would be when my time came. And I didn’t have any sense of time. One day
I saw your father. He smiled at me, and I thought my time had finally arrived. I
was happy to go, but then someone called me back. My heart was torn in two.

“I wanted to go to your father but at the same time there was this other voice
calling me back incessantly.” Sirius smiled fondly at the memory. “At first
I could only hear loving words. It was a heartbreaking confession of love that
kept reverberating in my heart and making me waver in my decision. Then the soft
voice changed. It began to curse me... It was then that I realised who it was
and it was a total shock to me. It was Severus. I saw him. Even though he was
cursing me, he had tears in his eyes. I’d never seen him cry for anything.

“I was really tired. I wanted to rest. I considered staying with James. But in
the end Severus’ persistence won me over. I knew I had to come back, not only
for him but for you as well. While I was stuck between life and death, he
reminded me that I had a lot of things to live for. So I turned around and made
my painful way back to life. I chose life over death. It wasn’t easy, but I
succeeded.”

Harry shook his head and blinked a few times. Since he felt as if he could faint
at any minute, he sat on the couch, leaned his elbows on his knees and covered
his eyes with the palms of his hands. Sirius approached him immediately with a
worried expression. Harry felt a soft touch on his shoulder and violently
repelled it. He stared at Sirius and hissed, “Stay away.”

“Please, Harry... I know it’s a lot to digest at once but...”

“But what?” Harry shouted, his whole body shaking from anger. He felt
betrayed. “What should I understand? How everybody fooled me all these years?
How I was left alone to deal with the pain of losing you? I spent all this time
thinking that I was responsible for your death! I never forgave myself for that.
That moment changed me entirely. My heart died away with you. And now I find out
it was all a lie...”

“It wasn’t a lie, Harry,” said Sirius with a deep pain in his heart.

“All these years... You were alive and you didn’t even bother to fucking
tell me!”

“It wasn’t like that!” Sirius had promised himself to remain calm while
talking to Harry, but it was hard. “If Severus hadn’t rescued me, I
wouldn’t have come back.”

“Oh, so you came back for him,” Harry spat, his voice full of accusation.
“Because the stupid little orphan wasn’t worth the trouble, was he? You came
back for a man who wished you were dead! A man you hate and that hates you back!
I... I really don’t understand anything! I don’t get it. Why did he save
you? I thought he was glad you were dead! I could understand if we were talking
about Remus rescuing you, but not Snivellus-Snape!”
Sirius ran his fingers through his hair and held the urge to pull it all out.
“That is also very complicated... It’ll be difficult for you to
understand...”

“Then make me understand!” Harry demanded with bloodshot eyes.

“It’s true that we hated each other with all our guts. He was my sworn
enemy. But... at some point we realised that we only hated each other so much
because we were in love. Severus...”

“Stop calling him Severus! It gives me the creeps!”

Sirius sighed. “We were very much alike, me and Se... Snape,” Sirius
corrected quickly before Harry could throw another tantrum. “It’s ironic to
think about this, but our similarities were what drove us apart.” Harry made a
face and Sirius half-smiled. He sat down next to Harry, but left a safe distance
between them so Harry wouldn’t feel like Sirius was imposing himself on him.
“I told you it would be difficult to understand. I know I’d always projected
confidence, but the truth was that deep down I was very insecure, and because of
my family history I spent a long time hating myself. All that over-confidence
was only a façade to hide my insecurities from others. It was a shield. It was
the same thing with Se... Snape.” Sirius paused, irritated with the fact that,
now that he had finally gotten used to using his lover’s first name, he
couldn’t use it because of Harry. “Do I really have to call him Snape?”

Harry nodded seriously. Sirius arched an eyebrow, but didn’t make any further
complaints. He wasn’t in a position of deny Harry anything, no matter how
absurd it sounded. He had already let Harry down in too many ways.

“Snape was just like me. That grumpy act of his was his shield. He was
purposely rude to people so he wouldn’t get hurt. In truth he was as insecure
as I was. But while he chose to be bitter, I chose to have as many friends as I
could in order to forget about my family problems. I disliked Snape at first
sight, but at the same time there was this spark between us, a strong attraction
that used to drive me crazy. He felt it too. That was what made him hate James
even more. He hated the closeness between your father and me. It got worse when
a series of events happened...”

“What events?” Harry’s soft voice took Sirius by surprise. It made him
wonder if his godson had finally calmed down.

“Snape and I sort of... dated... for a short period of time. Because of our
constant fights we were paired up once in class as punishment... We had an
assignment together. But because we didn’t want to meet, we left it all for
the last minute, so we ended up in a deserted classroom trying to finish it into
the late hours. As usual we fought... But because we were alone, one thing led
to another and... We kissed and... Well...” Sirius felt embarrassed.
“Stuff... happened. After that, not only our hate but also the attraction
increased... So every time we met we fought and then kissed and then...”

“Stuff happened...” Harry completed with a sneer, thinking that Sirius and
Severus’ routine sounded awfully familiar.

Sirius felt his cheeks getting hot. “Yes. Since we weren’t mature enough to
deal with it, it was bound to end. I didn’t expect to be so hard to break
things off...” Sirius smiled bitterly. “But I had a reputation to maintain.
This will sound awful but... I was quite the ladies’ man, you know? It
wouldn’t look good if I was caught with Snape, not to mention that none of my
friends would have understood, especially your father. James and Snape
couldn’t stand each other. For a while I actually thought Snape had a crush on
your father.”

“Did he?” Harry asked with a horrified expression.

“No. At least that was what Se... Snape told me.” Sirius made a face. “If
he finds out that I still have some doubt about the issue he’ll kill me.”

“Was that when you decided to kill him?” Harry asked.

“No!” Sirius denied immediately. “I didn’t want to kill him. I just... I
was stupid and reckless. I wanted to scare him, to teach him a lesson. I don’t
know! I was really mad at him. My hatred had made me blind. I was terribly
jealous. You see, at that time Severus was Lucius’ lapdog. Everybody knew it.
He had this creepy fixation on Lucius.” Sirius felt the jealousy coming back
at the thought. “Lucius was someone he aspired to be. Disgusting, huh?”
Harry agreed with him and Sirius went on, “I thought they were shagging. That
certainly multiplied my anger. My stupidity came to the conclusion that if I
couldn’t have him, then no one else could. So I sent him to the Whomping
Willow... Remus was so mad at me that he stopped talking to me for a long time.
Even James yelled at me. By the time I realised what I had done, it was too
late. I was really relieved when I found out that nothing had happened to
Severus. He was furious with me. He took things very personally...”

“Of course he did!” Harry exclaimed. “You set a werewolf on him, who was
your best friend! What did you want him to do? Send you flowers? Besides, you
were the one who hurt him. You didn’t have the right to spoil his happiness,
even if he chose Lucius Malfoy.”

“Well, unfortunately there are different types of love, Harry, and mine was a
very selfish and possessive type. It’s horrible, I know...”

“What about Remus?”

“Remus? What are you talking about? Remus and I were purely friends.”

“Your mother told me you and Remus were... a lot more than just friends.”

Sirius jumped at that. “My mother?”

“Your mother’s portrait. We sort of talk sometimes. She told me about you
and Remus. First she told me about your brother and then she told me that she
suspected you had a relationship with Remus. She said you two were way too
friendly with each other for her taste.”

Sirius didn’t like the sound of that. “I didn’t know her portrait could do
more than just yell curses at people... Hmm... Why have you been talking to that
crazy woman? Are you living in my old house?”

“Yes. You didn’t know?” Harry was confused.

“No! Severus told me that last time he heard of you, you were living with Ron
in London and training to be an Auror.”

“That was ages ago. I’m not an Auror. I... dropped out after six months,”
Harry confessed in a feeble voice.

Sirius was shocked. “Oh, Harry, I had no idea.”

“There are a lot of things you don’t know,” Harry said bitterly. “And
you obviously didn’t bother to find out.”

“I thought you had moved on with your life. I thought you were happy. Severus
convinced me that I shouldn’t worry about you...”

“And you took his word for it? What kind of moron are you? I wasn’t happy
and I didn’t move on with my life! It’s been a living hell ever since I left
school and even before that! I’ve never gotten over your death! I’ve never
gotten over Remus’ death either. It was a nightmare. It still is!” Harry
sneered, remembering what had brought him to Severus’ house in the first
place. “Do you have any idea how guilty I felt? I always blamed myself for
that day!”

“It wasn’t your fault, Harry,” said Sirius quickly. “You can’t be
responsible for my reckless actions. You didn’t force me to go to the Ministry
that day. I was the one who let my guard down. If I had been more careful,
Bellatrix wouldn’t have hit me.”

“Dumbledore and Remus tried to make me believe that. But no matter how many
times they told me it wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t let go of the fact that if
I hadn’t been foolish enough to be tricked by Voldemort... If only I had
listened to Hermione and waited... If I hadn’t gone to the Ministry that day,
none of those things would have happened. So you can’t take away the guilt in
my heart. And the way I treated Remus afterwards...” Harry looked down and bit
his lower lip hard. Again he was shaking all over. “I never told him what he
meant to me... I never told you!” Harry couldn’t hold back his tears any
longer. His silent cry broke Sirius’ heart in two. “I felt so alone and
hopeless. I felt so lost...”

Sirius tried to touch him once again, but Harry slapped his hand away and stared
at him fiercely.

“I told you to stay away!” Harry shouted. “You haven’t explained
anything to me yet! All you did was tell me your touching love story! I still
don’t know why you’re alive and why you never looked for me!”

“That ancient door I fell through... is a portal. It’s a gate for the
after-life. It was opened centuries ago. Because no one could destroy it, the
Ministry hid it in the Department of Mysteries. Nobody really knew what it could
do or where exactly it could lead you. There were only a few documents about it,
but nothing substantial. That’s why they assumed I was dead when I fell in it.
And in a way, I really was. It was like being in a coma. I wandered in the
darkness for a long time.”

“But there was a chance of rescuing you! Why didn’t they tell me?”

“Only Dumbledore knew and even he didn’t know for sure. There were only
theories, nothing more. He only told Severus about it because he insisted on it.
Dumbledore couldn’t have told you, Harry. Never you. If you knew that there
was a small chance of bringing me back, you would have taken it. He wanted you
to be safe and so did I. He knew I would have never let you do something so
dangerous just to try and save me. There weren’t any guarantees that you’d
be successful, and chances were that you would get yourself lost just like
me.”

“I had the right to know!” Harry persisted.

“No, you didn’t! You’re just like me, Harry. You disregard danger when it
comes to the people you love. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if you risked your
life for mine. You’ve already done that so many times...”

“And the last time I got you killed...” Harry choked down a sob.

“No. I chose my own destiny, Harry, not you.”

“You only went to the Ministry because of me,” Harry pointed out in a
whisper.

“It was still my choice.”

“Then the choice to come after you should have been given to me as well!”

Sirius didn’t reply to that. His words were stuck in his throat. He had
inflicted so much pain in Harry’s life that he didn’t know how to fix the
mess he had created. Sirius felt the anger rising. Severus had lied to him. It
was obvious now that Harry hadn’t moved on. He could feel Harry’s loneliness
and pain with such intensity that it hurt. Sirius had let Severus convince him
that Harry was fine living on his own, and that Sirius’ sudden presence would
only upset him. Sirius clenched his fists.

‘Harry has his own life now. He’s an Auror. He has his friends. I even
believe he has a fiancée,’ Severus had said to him. ‘You’re still too
weak. When you’re fully recovered we can go look for Harry. Besides, it will
be quite hard to explain our relationship.’

Severus had been worried about himself, as usual. He hadn’t considered
Sirius’ feelings. He shouldn’t have taken Severus’ word for it. He should
have gone after Harry. He should have seen for himself if his godson was really
ok. He had failed James by staying away just because he had been scared. Most
importantly, he had failed Harry.

“How did he rescue you?” Harry asked in such a low voice that Sirius thought
he had imagined the question. It was only when Harry insisted that he answered,
“He came up with a very complicated spell to serve him as a map and to protect
him at the same time. Then he entered the ancient door. He knew he was risking
his life. He knew he could have lost himself there and never find his way back,
but he told me he didn’t care because he had nothing left to lose.”

“I didn’t have anything to lose either,” Harry said to himself, staring
into space.

“Don’t say that,” said Sirius hotly. “Of course you did. You’re so
young, Harry. You have a lot ahead of you! Your life matters to so many people!
You brought hope to the wizarding world.”

“Again that hero of the world crap... I would trade everything to have my
parents back, to have lived a normal life,” Harry said with sadness in his
eyes. It cracked Sirius’ heart into tiny little pieces. “So when did it
happen? When did Snape rescue you?”

“When Severus found me I had missed three years of my life,” Sirius said.
“It took me another year to recover. I was very weak when he brought me
back.”

Harry was stunned. “Three years?”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah. He only went looking for me when Dumbledore died,
because Dumbledore had forbid him to come after me. Dumbledore was afraid of the
risks not only for Severus but for me as well. There aren’t related cases of
someone ever escaping from the ancient doorway. There weren’t any about
Azkaban either.” Sirius smiled to himself. “I guess I have a natural talent
for difficult getaways.”

“It makes sense...” Harry said thoughtfully. “Snape quit his job a little
before Dumbledore died and then he disappeared. Everyone thought he had finally
snapped.”

“He was taking care of me...” Sirius felt his palms sweating. There were
many things he wanted to ask Harry. He just didn’t know if he was ready to
hear the answers. “What has happened to you?”

Harry gulped. “What do you care?”

“Please, Harry... You know I do. I thought you were ok. I was led to believe
that you had found your way in life and that I would be a burden if I showed up
in front of you out of the blue. I didn’t want to ruin things for you. I was
going to look for you eventually, but I was scared of your reaction.”

“Snape told you to stay away from my life?” Harry could feel his blood
boiling.

“Not exactly. He just... convinced me that you were better off without me.”

Harry sneered. “So he did tell you to stay away from me. The bloody
bastard...” Harry snarled. “And you just obeyed him like a loyal dog, huh?
You really thought I would be better off without you? You love him that much?
You chose him over me!”

“It isn’t like that!” Sirius exclaimed, distressed. “It isn’t about
choosing him over you! I... I thought you’d gotten married! I thought you’d
had kids by now. I didn’t want to disrupt your life.”

“Well, I didn’t get married. I don’t have any kids. I was so sick of
everything after Voldemort and Hogwarts that I just gave everything up. My
bright future as an Auror, the Quidditch invitations, my girlfriend, my
friends...” Harry took a deep breath. He wiped a few tears away but new ones
kept falling. “I faced a legal battle against the Malfoys for your house.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It was quite hard to prove that you were really dead and that you had
left the house to me in your will. Lucius Malfoy really wanted that house... But
I won in the end. I made that place my haven. I hid myself from the world there.
If it wasn’t for Hermione and Ron visiting me all the time to check up on me,
I don’t know what I’d have done...” It was the first time Harry confessed
that aloud. “I wasn’t ok. I was depressed and pathetic. I didn’t have any
strength left.”

Sirius felt something squeeze his heart. “But... When I first saw you today, I
didn’t notice anything. I thought you looked fine. You looked so happy and
handsome. I didn’t think you were depressed at all.”

“That’s because of...” Draco. Harry was surprised at how easy that answer
came to him. In the few days they had spent together, Draco had changed his
gloomy life. He had shaken Harry up and made him feel alive again.

He looked around, only now realising that Draco wasn’t there. Suddenly he
missed Draco deeply and that thought scared him. He didn’t want to miss
anybody. Harry didn’t want to be hurt anymore. Sooner or later, Draco would
betray him, wouldn’t he? It was bound to happen.

Sirius felt Harry’s uneasiness and he called softly, “Harry?”

Harry looked at Sirius. His godfather looked very handsome but also tired. Harry
was feeling tired too. He had never wanted to be alone so badly.

“I...” He stood up and walked to the door. “I don’t know anything
anymore. I need to be alone.”

“Do you hate me, Harry?” Sirius asked anxiously.

Harry opened up the door and stared at the floor. He didn’t hate Sirius, but
he was hurt. He didn’t answer Sirius’ question because he wanted to punish
him. Harry wanted Sirius to think that he did hate him, even though it wasn’t
true. He felt a deep pain in his heart that he thought would never go away. The
whole situation was unbearable to him. He needed to vent his anger and he knew
only one way to do that.

“I’m so sorry,” Sirius said sadly.

“Yeah, me too,” Harry replied, leaving the room quickly and running
upstairs.

He slammed the door of the bedroom with all his might and before he knew it, he
was throwing everything he could lay his hands on at the wall.

It came rather fast and unexpected; a blast of magical energy that made Draco
dizzy and slightly nauseated. The moment that the strong wave of magic hit his
body, he knew something was wrong with Harry. He should have foreseen it. There
was no way Harry’s conversation with Sirius could have turned out any
differently. For Harry, who had suffered so much all those years, it was
betrayal to find out that his godfather had been alive but hadn’t bothered to
look for him and save him from his painful existence. That was the truth about
Harry: he had been waiting for someone to save him, just like Draco had.

Draco ran to Harry’s room quickly, not bothering to explain to Severus where
he was going. But as he got there, he didn’t dare enter. He felt Harry needed
that moment of privacy to vent his own frustration and pain. Draco had had a
similar moment not so long ago, so he understood. He still could feel every
fibre of Harry’s pain throughout his body. He could feel in his whole being
how much Harry needed a shoulder to cry on, but at the same time needed to be
alone. It was as if Draco heard Harry’s soft pleas asking him to wait just a
little more before entering and taking him in Draco's arms.

The waiting seemed to last forever, but then, just like that, the high level of
magic surrounding Draco decreased. Everything stood still. Draco walked slowly
towards the door and listened. There was nothing but quietness. Draco knocked on
the door softly, but no answer came. His heart began to beat faster. He
couldn’t feel anything coming from Harry anymore and that scared him. He
knocked a little harder and took a step back when the door opened on its own.

Draco carefully made his way into the room. Everything looked quite messy. He
figured his living room had had the same trashed appearance after his own
breakdown. He found Harry in a corner, sitting on the cold floor. His green eyes
were red and puffy, and very far away. Draco’s heart clutched inside his
chest. In the past, when they were still Hogwarts students, Draco had waited
badly to see Harry broken as he was now, but for all the wrong reasons. Now he
wanted to cuddle Harry and make things right for him instead of humiliating him
in public.

“Harry?” he called softly.

Harry’s empty eyes kept staring into space. Draco gulped and tried again. He
wouldn’t give up so easily. Harry had been there for him when he needed him
the most. Now it was time for him to reciprocate the favour. Even though Harry
wasn’t answering him, he sat by Harry’s side and waited.

“We should end this,” Harry said suddenly, taking Draco by surprise.

“End what?” he asked, afraid of the answer.

“Whatever we are doing,” Harry answered distantly. There weren’t any
traces of emotion in his voice. Draco felt a pain in his heart, but he told
himself not to panic. Instead of replying, he just glanced at Harry. Harry kept
talking, “What’s the point in continuing with this? This is bound to end and
we’re bound to suffer. Sooner or later you’ll get tired of me, or we’ll
get on each other’s nerves.”

“We already do,” Draco muttered.

“Yeah, but... it might get messier. You’ll leave me someday when you realise
that I’m not at all what you thought I was.”

Draco sighed. He felt like shaking Harry. “I know exactly what you are. I know
exactly who you are.”

Harry shook his head. “You don’t know me at all. The sooner you get this,
the better it is. Besides, all relationships fade and you’re left with nothing
but a broken heart. Are you willing to risk your soul for a screwed up guy like
me?”

Draco damned Harry for letting the conversation come to that. It wasn’t about
them. It was supposed to be about Sirius and how much he had hurt Harry. But
then again, maybe it was about Sirius. Harry’s godfather had been Harry’s
last hope of having something close to a real family. Harry had always been
alone. He had always protected his heart. Of course he would be afraid of
jumping into a relationship. It was up to Draco to prove to Harry that he could
be loved.

Draco felt his hands trembling. He clenched his fists, swallowed hard and then
took a deep breath before gathering all the courage he could to put his feelings
on the line.

He stared at Harry with determination. Even though his heart was beating so fast
that he thought it would come out of his mouth at any minute, he still managed
to answer firmly, “Fuck it all, Harry! I am.”

Harry looked at him puzzled. “You’re what?”

“I am willing to risk my soul,” Draco said, trying not to freak out.
Harry’s breath got stuck in his throat. Draco took advantage of his surprise
to continue with his confession, “Don’t ask me for guarantees. I don’t
have any. If anyone had told me in the past that someday I would be shagging
Harry Potter I’d have laughed my heart out. But here we are. Together. We’re
even getting along, something that I never thought possible, and I’m sure you
thought the same thing. I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know what will
happen in the future, but I know my feelings. I’ve tried to deny them, it’s
true. But I’d be very stupid to throw it all away now. It doesn’t matter how
annoying you can be from time to time or how stubborn... I won’t leave you.
I’ll stay by your side forever if you’d let me. I... I’d do anything for
you.” Draco’s voice failed.

Harry’s eyes flickered. “What are you saying?”

“That I love you, twit! I love you!” Draco felt such a relief getting that
off his chest that he barely took notice of Harry’s shocked expression. “I
love you.” Draco smiled softly and then said more determinedly, “You can try
to push me away all you want, Potter, but I’m not giving you up.”



                                Kapitel 36: 36.
                                ---------------


36.
Severus sighed, knowing the long-awaited confrontation was to come. He had been
expecting Sirius’ death glares and murderous words for a long time. They were
more familiar to him than the loving words that they sometimes gathered the
courage to profess to each other. But how he wished he were wrong, because he
didn’t expect Sirius’ words of hatred to hurt so much.

Severus blamed himself for lowering his defence now that they were finally
together. In the past, he would have just shrugged it off and carried on with
his life; or hexed Sirius into the next century. He couldn’t do that anymore,
not when they were married.

Who was he kidding? He had never been able to shrug things off where Sirius was
concerned. Sirius knew better than anyone else how to successfully get under his
skin and painfully burrow through.

What was Sirius accusing him of now? Oh, yes. Something about Severus lying to
him, like he always did. Harry had suffered all those frigging years because of
him, the ex-Death Eater. It made Severus wonder if that stain in his life would
be thrown in his face for the rest of his existence. Sirius’ shouting went on
and on, and Severus didn’t know how he was able to hold back his anger. He
just sat there and listened to Sirius rant and rave about how there was no happy
life as an Auror, no wife and kids for poor little Harry. There was only pain
and suffering; only feelings of guilt.

Severus smiled bitterly. Pain and suffering were part of life. Severus had had
his share of suffering as well. In fact, his share had been excessive for one
person to handle. Did anyone care? Only Dumbledore did, and even his old mentor
didn’t mind putting Severus’ life at risk for the good of the cause. Why
should Harry be any different? The boy had grown up with everybody treating him
like a little prince. Everything Severus had done in the past had always been
for the sake of Harry Potter. If they had better educated the boy, instead of
trying so hard to ease his burden, Harry wouldn’t have become so spoiled and
difficult. They should have told Harry what was expected of him from the
beginning instead of hiding the truth.

Harry Potter was the poor little orphan. So what? Did Harry really think he was
the only one with a horrible past and unhappy childhood? Severus sneered
inwardly. Harry didn’t know a thing about suffering. Severus had experienced
real pain, torture and rejection since birth. If everyone thought the Dursleys
were so awful, they should hear about Severus’ father.

So what if Severus was a little jealous? So what if he hadn’t told Sirius the
truth about Harry? He honestly hadn’t known anything of the boy’s state of
mind. How could he? He had left everything behind to go after Sirius and bring
him back. Last time he heard about Harry Potter, Harry was an outstanding Auror
student and had a fiancée. Severus assumed he had moved on with his life and
was now an excellent Auror, and the father of two or three annoying brats. After
all, Harry had possessed everything guaranteed for success. It wasn’t
Severus’ fault if his predictions had gone wrong.

Severus had been trying to move on with his life, too. He had been fighting with
his inner demons. He had been pursuing his own happiness by saving his only
love. But nobody had bothered to thank him. Neither the brat nor his
block-headed lover had realised that they had only met again because of
Severus.

He knew he was being unfair to Harry, after all the kid had lived quite a
difficult life, but he didn’t care. Severus wanted to think about his own
happiness for a change. Besides, he hadn’t done anything as hideous as Sirius
was implying. He really hadn’t known anything about Harry’s depression or
his nightmares with Voldemort. He was only informed of it a few minutes ago.
Harry’s miserable life was certainly not his fault.

Severus coldly stared at Sirius’ angry face when his husband stopped spitting
hateful words at him Then he frowned and asked, “Are you done?”

His unemotional tone made Sirius’ anger rise even more, if that was possible.
“Oh, no, baby. I’m just getting started!”

Severus grimaced and then stood up slowly to look Sirius in the eye. “All
right then. Let’s take all the venom out once and for all.”

Harry’s eyes flickered. “What are you saying?”

“That I love you, twit! I love you!” Draco felt such a relief getting that
off his chest that he barely noticed Harry’s shocked expression. “I love
you.” Draco smiled softly and then said more determinedly, “You can try to
push me away all you want, Potter, but I’m not giving you up.”

No matter how Harry tried, his voice wouldn’t come out. He was speechless over
Draco’s sudden confession of love. He didn’t know what to say. He felt a
knot in his throat that just wouldn’t undo itself. His heart was pounding hard
in his ears and his hands were shaking. He shouldn’t be acting so surprised.
Hermione had tried to convince him a million times that Draco felt something for
him other than hate. Wasn’t it because of the fact that Draco and Harry had
hidden feelings for each other that Fred and Hermione had set them up with their
crazy plan?

But there was no denying it. Harry was shocked. He hadn’t expected a blunt
confession, and certainly not in that particular moment.

Draco, whose breath was stuck in his throat, was about to panic from Harry’s
lack of reaction. The blond wasn’t exactly expecting them to kiss and jump
into bed, but he surely didn’t expect this unbearable silence. It was driving
him crazy.

Harry gulped and then asked, “How long?” Draco looked at him stupidly and
Harry added, “How long have you felt this way?”

Draco shrugged, but swallowed hard. Forever, he thought. But answering like that
would be idiotically romantic, so instead he said, “I don’t know. One moment
I hated you and the next... I was checking you out in your Quidditch outfit and
thinking to myself how hot you looked.” It was a poor attempt of a joke, one
that Harry didn’t find funny.

“I don’t get it,” Harry said to himself.

Draco frowned. Now that his cold sweat was beginning to fade, irritation was
taking its place. He couldn’t help it. It was the only way to shield his heart
from any hurtful words. “What don’t you get?”

“Why do you love me?” Harry asked with legitimate curiosity. However, it
offended Draco. Noticing Draco’s stricken face; Harry went on, “Oh, come on,
Draco! We despised each other when we were in Hogwarts. I’ve never thought
about you as my lover until recently. I didn’t even remember you most of the
time! You were just this annoying fly that wouldn’t go away and–”

“Alright! Alright! I get it!” Draco exclaimed, restraining the urge to punch
Harry. “You don’t have to tell me how unimportant I was to you, or how you
loathed me. I’m more than familiar with your rejection, Potter! I lost to a
Weasley, for Merlin’s sake! You don’t have to remind me of those horrible
memories.”

Harry sighed. “I’m just saying that I can’t understand why you love
me.”

“Why? Who knows? Maybe it’s because you have this stupid charisma that makes
everyone notice your presence, no matter how poorly dressed you look. Or because
you have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen, and the most intense pair of
eyes I’ve ever come across. You’re nice, loyal and have an amazing sense of
justice. I’ve seen the passion in your eyes many times before. In Quidditch,
with your friends, in your battles. Your passion has always burned my whole
being. That’s why I was so shocked when I saw you looking hopeless and
defeated. That wasn’t the same Harry Potter I knew. But curiously, I fell in
love with this pathetic side of you, too. I fell in love with your vulnerability
and weakness. Before I knew it, I’d fallen completely in love with you
again.” There was a flame kindled in Draco’s eyes that made Harry’s body
hot all over.

“Look,” Draco went on emotionally. “I don’t expect you to love me back.
I just wanted you to know my true feelings. I was sick of hiding them. I was
suffocating. I needed to let them out. But that doesn’t mean I’ll let you
play with my heart. I already know what you feel for me. I know you don’t like
me. But you don’t have to tell me hurtful things. If you don’t have anything
nice to say, then just be quiet.”

“Hey, wait a minute! What do you expect me to say?” Harry scowled. “I need
to understand this. You do realise that this is the worst time ever to discuss
our relationship! My world has just been turned upside down. Again. You can’t
expect me to–”

“I don’t expect anything from you! I told you that already!” Draco cut in.
He realised he was being unreasonable. But his heart was aching too much for him
to care. Besides, it was Harry’s fault. He had started it all. Harry was the
one who threatened to end things between them. “It’s not bloody fair! I... I
don’t... You are...”

“Just shut up!” Harry cut him off. Draco stared at him murderously. “Why
are we fighting?” Harry asked.

“Because you’re a bastard! You always pick a fight with me!”

“Oh, right! You’re so innocent. You never provoke me. I just attack you on
my own will, completely out of the blue!” Harry sneered.

“That’s right! I mean, here I am, pouring my heart to you, and what do you
do? Play the heartless bastard!”

Harry fumed. “I’m a bastard and you still love me?”

Draco clenched his fists. He felt his cheeks grow hot. “What can I say? I’m
stupid and pathetic.”

“I’m glad we agree on something,” Harry replied heatedly.

“Go to hell!” Draco roared. He turned on his heel to storm away, but Harry
– after hesitating for only a second – gripped the blonde’s arm and pulled
him to his chest. Their flaming eyes met one another challengingly.

“I thought you wouldn’t give up even if I pushed you away.” Harry’s
hoarse timbre made Draco’s body shiver.

Draco cocked his head. “I’m not. I’m just...”

“Running away.”

“No!” Draco lied shamelessly. “Cooling down.”

“Then stay. Let me help you cool down.” Harry’s soft voice was enough to
make Draco’s body turn to jelly, but nothing was more effective than having
Harry’s fingers in his hair and a pair of warm lips capture his own
passionately.

“Idiot! Don’t play with me, Harry,” Draco whispered against Harry’s
mouth. He couldn’t believe he had just said that, but he couldn’t take it
anymore. He just wanted to hold Harry and never let go. “I’m sorry that you
have to go through this pain again, but please... don’t push me away.” And
now he was begging. So much for his Malfoy pride. “My heart is totally
exposed. You can’t blame me for acting so defensive.”

Harry touched their foreheads together and sighed. “You’re right. I’m
sorry. I don’t want to push you away. I just can’t help it. Being a complete
jerk is my way of defending my heart. I... I don’t have to tell you how
screwed up I am. You already know. It’s just too much to take at once. I’m a
mess!”

Draco nodded. “I know. I just... You freaked me out. I can’t bear the
thought of losing you. Not when we’ve just started to know each other
better,” he confessed. “I won’t get tired of you, Harry. I never did. I
just want to comfort you.”

Harry smiled feebly. “You’re very good at that. In fact... What I realised
spending all this time with you, is that you’re a much better person than I
am. You weren’t in the past, but you are now,” Harry teased a little.

Draco’s heart leaped. “You’re just saying that to shag me.”

Harry smiled openly this time. “Is it working?”

Draco raised an eyebrow and pretended to consider it seriously. “Keep
going.”

“I think... that... I... I might be in love with you, too.” Harry said in a
whisper.

Draco’s breath got caught in his throat. Everything around him was spinning.
Did Harry just say what Draco thought he did? “What?” he asked just to make
sure.

Harry made a face, but deep down he was really nervous. “You know... You heard
me. Don’t make me say it again.”

Draco frowned. “I waited a long time to hear this, Potter. A very – long –
time. Just saying it once again won’t hurt you! I think I deserve to hear it!
Do you think it’s easy to handle you? I want my share of the prize for putting
up with your mood swings and bitchy words.”

Harry seemed to be thinking about it, and then he said, “I thought you already
had your prize. Wasn’t Ron supposed to give you Quidditch tickets for the
whole season?”

Draco smirked. “I only said that to piss him off. Do you really think I’d
trade your confession of love for some Quidditch tickets?”

“How about the World Cup?” Harry provoked him.

Draco pretended to think about it. “The World Cup, huh? It’s quite an offer.
Let me see... How about... You say that you love me and we go watch The World
Cup together?”

Harry licked his lips to conceal a smile. “You’re so spoiled. When are you
going to learn that you can’t have everything you want?”

Draco shrugged. “Never. I know I can have both.”

Harry laced their fingers together and then said in a low, serious voice, “I
love spending time with you. I never thought I would. I thought Hermione’s
idea was the craziest piece of crap I’d ever heard. I was convinced that you
and I would never work out. But somehow we did hook up in the most wonderful
way. You’ve changed a lot. I like everything about this new you. You showed me
your softer and less selfish side. You let me know your strengths and your
weaknesses. Most of all, you were my friend. Before I knew it, you had captured
a big part of my heart.” Harry paused so as not to choke on his next words.

Draco was trying hard not to burst into tears. He knew it was silly of him, but
to hear Harry confessing his feelings for him was something he had never thought
possible. Harry seemed as shaken as he was.

“I... I think I love you,” Harry continued. “But...” Draco’s heart
almost stopped. “I need to figure myself out before asking you to extend our
thirty days together. I can’t be with you unless I make peace with myself.
I... I’ll go on that self-discovery journey Snape told us about. I just
don’t know when I’m coming back. I don’t even know if it’ll work. I want
to ask you to wait for me, but it wouldn’t be right. You have Bill, and he’s
a much better person than I am. He’s fucking perfect for you, and I really
hate him for it.” Harry flushed and Draco felt Harry’s tension through the
grip on his fingers. “Fuck it!” Harry stared deeply into Draco’s eyes and
stated, “You don’t have to wait for me. But if I find out that you went back
to Bill, I’ll challenge him to a duel.”

Draco blinked repeatedly to keep his tears from falling. He wondered if a
person’s heart could explode from such happiness. He had never felt such bliss
in his whole life. Not even when he had first mounted a broom and flown away. He
grinned at Harry, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “I think Bill has more
of a right to challenge you,” he tried to joke.

“Hey! He had his chance with you and he blew it. Besides, what about that
French kid?”

Draco grimaced. “Let’s not go there.”

“Are you jealous?” Harry asked. He certainly was.

“No, not really. I mean, maybe a little. My ego is wounded. Bill never told me
anything about that kid. For all I knew, I was the only one who really tempted
him.” Draco made a face. “Well, I’m not the first to fall for this kind of
crap... I really like Bill. We had a great relationship, and I guess... He
thought the same way. I really wanted to believe that he was the one, and I
think he wanted to believe that I was the one for him. But... Everything changed
when I saw you again. I can’t be with him anymore. Not after everything that
has happened to us. I understand now that I love Bill as a friend, but... It’s
you that I want.” Draco took a deep breath before continuing, “It’s you
that I love.”

They embraced tightly and just stayed entangled in each other’s arms for a
long time.

“I’ll wait for you as long as it takes,” Draco whispered in Harry’s
ear.

“Don’t push it. I can’t see you enduring that long without sex,” teased
Harry.

Draco pinched him fondly. “Sex isn’t everything. And even if things get too
rough, I can always turn to Bill... I’m sure he’ll be more than happy
to–”

Harry sealed Draco’s lips with his. “You do that alright, but don’t forget
about the consequences.”

“I’m not afraid of you,” Draco taunted.

“You should be.” Draco smiled at Harry’s fake seriousness, and Harry
kissed him once more. Draco stroked Harry’s hair and his nose touched his
lover’s affectionately. The blond couldn’t contain his happiness. He felt
foolish and very much in love. Harry Potter loved him. Maybe Harry was still a
little confused about everything, and given the circumstances it couldn’t be
any different. But Draco had a better chance now than when he had started living
with Harry. He could finally feel Harry close to him. “I’m sorry about
everything, Harry. I swear I didn’t know anything about your godfather.”

Harry nodded. He knew Draco was telling the truth.

“How do you feel?” Draco asked.

“Even though I still feel as if I’ve fallen into an alternate universe where
nothing makes any sense, I’m feeling better. Thanks for coming after me. It
seems like you weren’t kidding when you said you were my guardian angel,”
Harry said with loving eyes. “For a moment there I thought you and Snape had
teamed up to make me lose my mind for good.”

“You don’t believe that anymore, do you? Really, Harry, I had no idea. Uncle
never told me anything about Black!” Draco said worriedly.

“I’ve already vented my anger, so now I can see things more clearly. I know
it isn’t your fault. I still want to kill Snape, though.”

“Not to defend him or anything,” began Draco carefully, “but he honestly
didn’t know how you were. He could have made sure of it, but... He’s a sad
and lonely man, Harry. He was afraid that if he let Black go after you, he would
lose his husband and the only love he’d ever had. Besides, he was also afraid
of Black’s enemies. He didn’t want to risk his lover’s life again. Hiding
Black from you and the rest of the world wasn’t one of his smartest moves, but
he had the best of intentions.”

“He was selfish!” Harry exclaimed.

“Well, sooner or later your godfather would have come after you. Uncle said
that Black had been acting quite restless lately. Think positive, Harry. Now you
have your godfather alive and near you. It’s a dream come true! Cherish the
moment! And thank Uncle for that. Black wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for
him.”

“That pisses me off even more! To think that I owe Snape this much... It’s
infuriating!”

“Would you stop behaving like a kid?”

“I have the right to be angry,” Harry stated.

“You have all the right in the world. But what good will come of it? I think
Uncle will have enough problems explaining himself to your godfather...”

That thought made Harry smile evilly. “Well, it serves him right.”

Torn between his loyalty to Severus and his love for Harry, Draco decided to
remain silent. He hugged Harry tightly and sighed contentedly. His happiness
ballooned inside his chest and made him so light-headed he thought he could
float. ‘Harry loves me! Who cares about anything else?’

Harry hadn’t felt that good in a long time. It was as if his talk with Draco
had set him free. Even though there was a lot to worry about, having Draco in
his arms gave him peace of mind and courage to face whatever came to him. Who
would have thought that Draco Malfoy would be that kind of person for Harry? He
was absolutely amazed. Draco Malfoy was his other half.

“I can’t believe you love me,” Harry said to himself.

Draco stared at him. “I can’t believe you love me.”

“I said I wasn’t sure.”

“So bloody funny,” Draco sneered. “And it’s too late to take it back!
You love me because I say so.”

“Keep saying stupid things like that and I’ll definitely stop loving
you.”

Draco stuck out his tongue at him and Harry grinned. Draco looked around and
sighed. “Uncle will be very mad, Harry. You trashed his guest room...”

Harry shrugged. “Like I give a fuck. Besides, I think my damages were minimal
compared to yours. Your living room was worse than this and I was able to put it
all together in no time.”

“Not true! Just look around! This place is bigger than my living room. It’ll
take a while to clean it all up. You really broke down...”

“At least I didn’t attack you like you did to me!”

“Of course not. You didn’t let me in while you were throwing a fit. And to
think that I let you in... in more than one way,” Draco sneered.

Harry chuckled. “I did let you in. You’re here, aren’t you? And I plan
on... letting you in... later... if you want.” Harry flushed slightly and then
went forward to peck him softly on the cheek. It was Draco’s turn to blush.

“What was that for?” Draco asked, amused.

“A thank-you present for enduring me until now.”

Draco was deeply touched by that simple and yet so significant gesture. Even so,
he decided to joke about it. “You call that a present? I want the full
package, Harry, not just a sample.”

“You’ll have the whole thing later,” Harry provoked him.

“Alright. So...” Draco hated to bring them back to earth, but he had to do
it. “What do you want to do now? Do you want to talk to your godfather
again?”

Harry sighed heavily and sat down on the bed. “I don’t know. I’m still
hurt. I can’t believe he’s here. He’s here! It’s quite a shock. I... I
wished a thousand times for that fateful day at the Ministry to be just this big
fat lie... I’ve wished so many times to see him again... I used to dream that
Dumbledore and the lot had lied to me just to spare my feelings... Well,
Dumbledore did lie in a way... He omitted the fact that there was a tiny chance
to save Sirius.”

“He didn’t know for sure, Harry. He just wanted to protect you.”

“I know.” Harry swallowed hard. “I think that’s the biggest problem in
my life. Everybody is always trying to protect me. They should just let me
be...” He looked at Draco with teary eyes. “I still can’t believe he’s
here. I want to punch him, but at the same time I want to hug him. What should I
do?” Harry’s question took Draco by surprise, mainly because Draco had never
thought he would hear Harry Potter asking him for advice.

“I think...” Draco started, not quite sure of what to say. “Well... I
guess you should go downstairs and give him a tight hug for all the missing
years. I think it’s ok if you punch him first... But don’t forget to cry
your heart out. You look like you need a good cry. I promise not to make fun of
you.”

Harry took Draco’s hand in his and stroked it. His eyes were full of gratitude
and love when he said, “Thanks.”

Draco put his arms around Harry and brought him closer. He was in need of a good
cry, but he shut his eyes tightly. It wasn’t the time yet. He breathed deeply,
hoping that Harry wouldn’t change his mind about loving him.

Harry closed his eyes and let the emotions around flow into his being. Once
Hermione had told him that a wizard was able to feel if the love was true. He
could feel it now. Draco’s love was taking away his fears and soothing his
heart. Harry had never felt so scared in his life. It had been a while since the
last time he had opened his heart and let someone in.

They were so caught up in each other that it took them a while to notice that
the floor was shaking as if a small earthquake was taking place. They looked at
each other, puzzled, and then opened their eyes wide.

“Shit! Do you know what this means?” Draco asked worriedly.

“Please, tell me it isn’t them...” said Harry, referring to Sirius and
Snape.

“I’m afraid it is... Should we meddle in it?”

A sudden blast was their answer. In a second, they were both running down the
stairs to prevent Sirius and Severus from destroying the house and themselves.



                                Kapitel 37: 37.
                                ---------------


37.
“Who are you to blame this on me?” Severus shouted. Frustrated by Sirius’
willingness to pin all wrongdoing on him, Severus had completely lost his
patience. Sirius had said so many hurtful things. But even though Severus’
heart was bleeding, he still had strength to fight back. He knew Sirius was
right about a few things, but only a few. The rest was rubbish and it wasn’t
in his nature to be quiet about it. Sirius wasn’t the only one with a sharp
temper.

“You lied to me!” Sirius accused angrily.

“I didn’t know anything about Potter’s life!” Severus defended himself.
“And I certainly didn’t force you to believe me! You believed it because you
wanted to! I wouldn’t have held you back if you had really wanted to go after
your precious godson! No one can hold you back when you want to do something,
Sirius! Dumbledore tried in the past, remember? You never listen! That was why
you were locked up in Azkaban. That was why you spent three years in the dark,
wandering between life and death!”

“That was low,” Sirius grunted, annoyed.

“Oh, and you’ve been playing fair? You’ve done nothing but throw false
accusations at me so far. You’re accusing me of keeping you here, but it was
you who wanted to stay! If you don’t, there’s the door!” Severus pointed
at the entrance’s direction. “And forgive me for caring about your
welfare!”

“You didn’t think about my welfare at all, Severus! You just don’t like
the idea of me meeting Harry again because you look at him and you remember
James! You’re jealous! Just get over this damn fixation you have with James!
I’ll end up believing – again – that you were in love with him!”

Severus sneered and made a disgusted face. “Don’t talk nonsense! Who would
have fallen in love with that bastard? He was everything I despised in a person!
I feel sick just thinking about him! It was you who was dementedly attracted to
him!”

Sirius breathed hard. “James was my dearest friend! Of course I cared for him!
He was like a brother to me!”

“He was more than a brother! You were his lapdog! Literally!”

Sirius raised his wand and pointed it at Severus. “I dare you to say that
again! What about you? You fucking licked Lucius Malfoy’s filthy boots! I
mean, you really licked his boots and kissed the hem of his robes like he was
your master! I saw it once! I saw you crawling at his feet! I bet you let him
screw y–”

Sirius didn’t get to finish his sentence. Severus hit him with a spell that
sent him flying across the room. Sirius felt a sharp pain in his back as he hit
the wall and fell to the floor. He felt a little dizzy, but even so he stood up
and furiously sent another spell in Severus’ direction. In a few seconds, the
living room turned into a battleground, with spells and jinxes flying around,
knocking down screaming paintings and tearing cushions apart.

Things got so out of hand that Severus lost control of his powers and blew up an
entire wall, sending them both to the floor with the impact. They were stunned
for a moment. Sirius was the first to recover.

“What are you trying to do? Kill me? Why the hell did you rescue me then?
You’re mental!” he shouted.

“You started it!” Severus shouted back.

“Me? You really are a mental case!”

“You keep accusing me of things that aren’t true! You always do that!
You’re a bloody coward! You can never admit your faults!” Severus snarled.
“You have to put the blame for your mistakes on others!”

“You’re the same! It’s impossible to talk to you! It’s useless! I
don’t know why I bother!”

“You are impossible! You and your stupid fixation with James Potter! Your
whole world revolved around him! And afterwards you changed your fixation to
Potter Junior! You treated him as if he were James. I wonder if you are
attracted to your godson the same way you were attracted to his father! I
wonder... that time you spent with Harry in that old house of yours... How
friendly did you become with him?”

Sirius felt sick at the insinuation he caught behind Severus’ poisoning words.
“You don’t mean that! You don’t understand anything at all! Take that
back! Now!”

“Or what?” Severus dared.

With a furious growl, Sirius dropped his wand and went for Severus’ throat.
Immediately, a frantic fight began, with both participants trying to gain the
upper hand, slamming each other into whatever furniture they rolled into. The
commotion shook the house’s very foundation.

When Draco and Harry skidded into the living room, Severus and Sirius had gotten
past duelling with their wands, having decided to discard magic and use their
fists instead. For that Draco was actually deeply grateful. Their wands had done
enough damage for the night. The wall that used to separate the living room from
the library didn’t exist anymore. In his place was a huge hole courtesy of
Severus’ blasting spell. The rest of the room didn’t look any better.
Everything was turned upside down. Portraits were yelling and screaming, but in
one of them two old gentlemen were betting on who would be the winner.

Draco looked at Harry then back at Severus and Sirius. “We should separate
them. On the count of three?” he suggested.

Harry nodded, taking out his wand and aiming at them. Draco also got his wand
ready, and after taking a deep breath, he shouted a spell that broke Sirius and
Severus apart. Before either of them could understand what was going on, Harry
finished up with a binding spell. Draco smiled smugly. He and Harry were a
pretty good team. The two gentlemen in the portrait had a different opinion as
they booed Draco for taking away their fun.

“Shit! Let me go!” exclaimed Sirius, upset, struggling to get free.

“Draco! Undo this, now! It’s an order!” Severus shouted, staring at Draco
and Harry murderously.

“Sorry, but no can do,” Draco said calmly. “Look at you! You cut your
lips! You’re behaving like–” Draco’s voice died away when he noticed how
easily Sirius got out of the binding spell. He glared at Harry, who just
shrugged. “You cheated!” accused Draco.

“I did not!” Harry protested. “It isn’t my fault that Sirius is stronger
than your Uncle.”

Draco sneered, “Right. Of course it isn’t. I’m sure you put the same
amount of power on both spells, hence why your godfather broke free and mine
didn’t!” Draco pointed his wand at Severus and released him from the spell.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked highly upset. “They’ll kill each other
now!”

“So be it... At least Uncle will be able to defend himself properly,” Draco
said, helping Severus to stand up. “I can’t stand to be unfair.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Oh, please...”

Draco shot him a dark look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That’s really precious coming from a person who used to attack people from
behind their backs!” exclaimed Harry.

Draco flushed furiously. “Well, I’ll show you...” He lunged for Harry, but
Severus held him back.

“Enough, both of you! I think Sirius and I had quite a good row. My living
room won’t stand another one,” said Severus, licking the thread of blood
from his lips and making a face.

“Serves you right,” muttered Harry, looking at Severus’ wounds.

“Say that again, Potter,” Severus hissed.

“Don’t use that tone with my godson!” Sirius threatened, clenching his
fists.

“Take his side,” Severus muttered bitterly. “You always do...”

“Alright! Enough!” Draco shouted, putting himself between them, knowing
fully well that it was a dangerous move. “Let’s all sit down and talk like
adults.”

“I’ve had enough of talking,” said Severus, pulling out a handkerchief
from his pocket to clean the cut on his lip. “It’s impossible to have a
conversation with someone capable of physical violence.”

“You mean you?” Sirius pointed out softly. Severus muttered a curse under
his breath. “Stop being a bloody sissy! You only have a small cut on your lip!
I feel like my head has been split in two! And I’m sure I’ll have a black
eye tomorrow... You have a powerful right hook...”

Severus smirked proudly at that, while Draco joked, “At least your black eye
will go with your last name.” Severus and Draco smiled at each other. Harry
and Sirius made a face.

“That was such a lame joke...” said Harry with a grimace. Draco just
shrugged.

A large piece of raw steak – conjured by Severus’ wand – flew directly
towards Sirius and hit him hard in the face. Sirius fell backwards and landed on
the couch, making some feathers from a torn cushion fly around. Sirius glared at
Severus.

“It’s for your eye, idiot,” Severus explained.

“A spell would have been better,” Sirius sulked, holding the steak against
his eye.

“It would, wouldn’t it?” Severus sneered, taking pleasure in Sirius’
pain.

“I can’t understand why you two are married to each other. It doesn’t make
any sense,” said Harry. “Why would Sirius choose to be with someone like
you?”

“I can’t understand why Draco chose you, Potter, so I guess we’re even in
our confusion,” Severus grimaced.

Harry couldn’t refute that. He still had low self-esteem. It was Draco who
came to his rescue by saying, “There were no reasons at first. It just took
one look and I was mesmerised. But as I paid attention to everything Harry did,
my love grew stronger. He awakened the real me. You said that I’ve changed,
Harry, but... All those things I envied and admired in you... My loving you
helped me find these qualities in myself. I had them all along. I just didn’t
know. You helped me uncover them,” finished Draco, feeling his cheeks grow
hot.

The room went silent. Sirius pulled the steak away from his face to stare at
Draco and Harry with astonishment. Severus was also shocked by Draco’s sudden
and honest words.

Draco didn’t know how he had gathered the courage to say those things in the
first place. They had just come out. He flushed as he felt Harry’s eyes on
him.

Harry swallowed hard. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. He blinked a few
times, touched by Draco’s confession. He wished he knew what to say to that,
but he had never been very good with words. He had always screwed up his past
confessions. It was better to be quiet.

“That was really nice,” muttered Sirius. Draco’s words had cleared up his
mind and made him focus on more important things. “I was really worried about
Harry dating a Malfoy, but now... I think I can put my mind at ease.” Draco
and Harry reddened and Sirius smiled. “So you’re really serious about each
other.”

“You don’t mind?” Harry asked feebly. Sirius’ approval was very
important to him.

Sirius sighed. “I just want you to be happy, that’s all. You deserve it.
You’ve been hurt by so many people... Besides, who am I to lecture you? I
married Severus. What can be worse than that?” Severus grunted and Sirius
chuckled softly. “I love you, Harry, but my love is really messed up. I never
knew how to love anyone properly. I have too many wounds in my heart...”
Sirius glanced at Severus, barely seeing him now that one of his eyes was puffy.
Severus’ words kept weighing down his heart, hurting him. But he knew Severus
didn’t mean them. His lover had said those things only because Sirius had hurt
him first.

“I blamed Severus for keeping me here and forbidding me to look for you,
Harry, but... I have only myself to blame,” Sirius started in a low voice.
“Severus, you’re right... It’s impossible to hold me back when I want to
do something. If I’d decided to go after you, Harry, he wouldn’t have been
able to stop me. The truth is that I was scared of meeting you, Harry. I was
never a good role model for you. I was the worst godfather in the world. I
encouraged you to be a Marauder, for Merlin’s sake! I should’ve never done
that! Look at what happened to me and my friends...” Sirius paused. His mind
drifted to his old memories. He sighed sadly and then continued, “I really
thought you were better off without me, Harry.”

“But I wasn’t,” Harry whispered with teary eyes.

Sirius smiled feebly. “I know that now. But... I’m a coward. I messed up
your life once. I was afraid of doing it again. I’m a really screwed up
guy.”

Harry smiled through his tears. “This sounds awfully familiar,” he pointed
out.

Draco stared at Harry and nodded. “Indeed. We’re all screwed up.”

Severus rolled his eyes. “Great! Group therapy... Soon we’ll all be hugging
each other and apologising for things that weren’t even our fault…” he
sneered.

“And what’s wrong with that? You should say something too, Severus,” said
Sirius, half-jokingly.

“I have nothing to say,” Severus hissed, annoyed by the fact that Sirius had
spoken to him as if nothing had happened. It was just like Sirius to change his
mind every two seconds. Unfortunately for him, Severus was the kind of person
who could hold grudges for centuries.

“It’d make you feel better,” said Draco softly.

Severus made a face and stared at Draco as if he were a traitor. “What should
I say exactly?”

“What you really feel,” Draco suggested. “You should tell them what you
told me in the kitchen.”

Severus looked at him with a horrified expression. Sirius was suddenly very
curious.

“What you did say to him, Severus?” Sirius asked. Severus kept quiet and
Sirius insisted, “Come on, spit it out! I promise I’ll really listen this
time. Just say it!”

“I don’t want to!”

“Why not? I’ve just admitted that you were not to blame,” said Sirius.
“I was the one afraid to face Harry. Why can’t you say what’s on your
mind? You’re always like this! Always sulking alone instead of just shouting
at me what you really feel! You keep things to yourself. That’s why you’re
still bitter and moody and–”

“And what exactly do you want me to say?” Severus roared. His face went red
from anger. “I kept you here for my own selfish reasons! I didn’t want you
to look for Potter! I was mean to you, and said things that hurt you on purpose
because I was scared. I was the one who kept telling you to forget about Potter.
I convinced you that Potter was better off without you, even though I didn’t
have a clue about his present life. But saying all these things would be
admitting that I was jealous of a fucking brat! I was afraid that you’d go
after him and forget about me, about us! I had you all to myself for the first
time in my life. I didn’t want to lose you as I knew I would if I’d let you
go.” Severus choked on his last words. He wasn’t a man who cried easily, but
it was hard to hold back his tears. “I didn’t mean the things I said to
you... but... You hurt me, so I just wanted to hurt you back.”

Sirius walked towards him and hugged him tightly. Severus flinched at first, but
then he relaxed and let himself be held.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius whispered in his ears. “I’m sorry that I made you
think these things. My love is selfish, too. I hurt you a lot in the past. I
never told you anything that would make you think differently. I left you before
because of my own stupidity. And because you were a bastard. Let’s not forget
that too.” Severus grumbled something and Sirius stroked his face tenderly.
“I never thanked you properly for giving me another chance to live. I’m
sorry. I won’t leave you. I couldn’t. I love you so much. Besides, a divorce
would be such a pain in the ass.”

Harry and Draco looked at each other and smiled feebly.

Severus pushed Sirius away, embarrassed. Deep down he was touched, but he
wasn’t the type of person who let things go easily. “I’m still angry,”
he said.

Sirius frowned. “So am I. You said awful things to me! You even punched me!
Look at my eye! But I want us to be able to work things out. Don’t sulk,
Severus. It doesn’t become you.”

“Actually, it does,” Draco muttered to himself.

“Hey, I’m the one entitled to be angry!” Harry pointed out. “You were
both assholes, and you were only thinking about yourselves! I was the one left
alone in the end.”

“Not true,” Draco said. “You had your friends all along. They tried to
help you out the best they could. You were the one who shut yourself out from
the world.”

“Shut up, Draco,” said Harry moodily. Draco crossed his arms and stared at
him darkly.

Sirius turned to Harry and placed his hands on his godson’s shoulder. Harry
didn’t reject him this time. “I’m so sorry, Harry. There aren’t enough
words to say how sorry I am that I hurt you. What can I do to make it up to
you?” Sirius asked dejectedly. “I’ll do anything.”

Harry sighed tiredly. “Could you leave Snape and come live with me?”

Severus growled from the other side of the room. Draco shook his head in
disbelief. He couldn’t believe Harry had asked something like that. He was
also hurt by it. In that moment he had a glimpse of Severus’ jealousy and he
could fully understand him. Would Harry forget about them just because Sirius
had turned up? Draco would kill him if that was so.

“I’m kidding,” Harry said, noticing the tension around. “Although I’m
having a hard time accepting you two as a couple, I… I already have someone
who fulfils my needs.” He glanced at Draco. The blond flushed slightly, but
seemed rather pleased.

“I’m having a hard time with Malfoy, too,” Sirius pointed out. “He seems
like a good kid though.”

“He is,” said Severus firmly.

“You’re his godfather. Of course you’ll say he’s wonderful,” Sirius
said with a grin. “It’s Harry’s opinion about him that matters.”

“Oh, forgive me for thinking that my opinion matters for something,” Severus
said with a sneer.

“You’d say the same thing to me if I was talking about Harry! I don’t know
why you’re still sulking!” Sirius complained, upset. “I said I was sorry!
You aren’t an innocent victim here, Severus. You’re as big a part of this
mess as I am. And your daily sarcasm really gets on my nerves!”

“Someone could show me some gratitude, but you’re right about one thing.
I’m part of this mess as I’m the one who had the stupid idea of bringing you
back. Although... Didn’t you say you have only yourself to blame?” Severus
pointed out with a fake softness. “You should make up your mind.”

“We’re not talking about you bringing me back. We’re talking about the
lies you’ve told me about Harry. I am man enough to admit my part in the
blame. You, on the other hand…” Sirius let the silent accusation hover
between them.

Severus clenched his fists and made a move forward. Draco instantly blocked him
and said, “Not again! Listen, this isn’t about you two.” Severus and
Sirius raised their eyebrows at Draco, who amended, “You two obviously have
issues, so I guess this is about you too. But this is mainly about Harry and the
fact that no one bothered to tell him about Sirius being here all this time.
Uncle, you were selfish. You didn’t exactly lie, but you didn’t bother to
check on Harry. And Black, you were a coward. We’ve established that much. We
should let Harry talk now.”

All the attention turned to Harry expectantly. Severus looked more annoyed than
ever as he waited for Harry’s accusing words towards him.

“Thanks for putting me in the spotlight, Draco darling,” Harry sneered.

“Don’t you have anything to say?” Draco asked, frowning.

“I do, but… I’m not good at this. I don’t like the idea of exposing
myself in front of everybody.” His everybody was directed to Severus.

Severus rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, Potter. If you want privacy, I
don’t mind leaving. I’ll be quite relieved, actually.” Severus began to
retreat quietly, but Sirius stopped him. Severus scowled at him. “What? This
is between you and your beloved godson. I don’t belong here. You said so
yourself. You told me I couldn’t understand the relationship you share, and
you’re right. He isn’t your son and yet you treat him like one.”

“And you don’t like that,” stated Sirius with a sad face, but at least
Severus wasn’t accusing him of being attracted to Harry anymore.

“I don’t. Why should I?” Severus confessed. “But… I’m not so
heartless that I can’t try to understand and… accept it. You need this
moment, and so does Potter. Come on, Draco.” Severus pulled Draco by the arm
and dragged him out. He ignored Draco’s protests and said just before leaving,
“We’ll be waiting in the kitchen.”

“You know, I’m tired of being dragged around…” Draco sulked, taking a
sip from his tea.

“And I’m tired of a lot of things... but that doesn’t make any
difference,” said Severus jadedly. “Thanks a lot for defending me.”

Draco caught the sarcasm behind his words. He sighed sorrowfully, but there was
nothing he could do about it. He had been placed in a difficult position. If he
had taken Severus’ side, Harry would have got mad at him. He couldn’t
jeopardise their relationship now that he had finally got Harry to confess his
love for him. He knew it was horrible to think that way, and he felt like the
lowest scum on the planet.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured with his head down. “I did take off the spell
binding you though. And I do see your point, I really do. It’s just...”

“I never thought I’d live to see the day that Draco Malfoy became scare of
contesting Harry Potter...” Severus said dryly.

“I wasn’t scared,” Draco protested immediately. “He was a victim there!
You and Black were totally unfair to him!”

“After everything I told you I would expect–”

“You told me you were jealous of Harry, that’s why you didn’t encourage
Black to look for him,” said Draco, cutting Severus off. “You were trying to
keep Sirius to yourself. It was selfish. But you were only human. So am I. You
can’t blame me for taking Harry’s side because honestly, I believe you and
Black were both wrong. You have no idea how much he suffered! I do! I’ve been
living with him and watching him struggle everyday to keep his sanity. You know
how tough it is! You should at least have more compassion for him. You have a
lot more in common than you believe.”

Severus didn’t like to be lectured by a person younger than him, but Draco did
have a very good point. He stared at his godson absent-mindedly, and after a
period of silence, he said earnestly, “You’re a lot less spoiled and much
more mature. You’ve grown up quite a bit since the last time I saw you.”

Draco half-smiled. “I had to sooner or later, right?”

Severus leaned forward. “Too true. And even though I’m still mad at you –
for my own selfish reasons again – I’m also very proud of what you’ve
become. Congratulations, Draco. You’ve managed to break the Malfoy habit of
turning out bastards. You’ve become a very decent human being. That’s got to
be a first in your family.”

Draco leaned his elbows on the wooden table and sneered. “Somebody had to do
it. Quite a nasty ordeal, I tell you. To break away from centuries of being evil
and cold-hearted, to become soft and emotional... To even dare to love someone!
It was very difficult indeed.”

“You’ve pulled it off alright though,” Severus pointed out.

“I have, haven’t I?” Draco said proudly. “It was hard to say goodbye to
all my luxuries and stylish robes and servants and people kissing my ass. But it
was all for the best.”

“I hope Potter values you, Draco.”

Draco sighed. “Me too. It seems that my charms have finally made their way
into his heart. He’s been treating me a lot better.”

“A word of advice: don’t get married,” Severus said.

Draco chuckled. “Why, sir. It isn’t so bad.” Severus arched his eyebrow
and Draco said, amused, “Walls can be rebuilt. Paintings can be replaced or
redone.”

“I’m serious, Draco. Two men living together, sharing the same bed day after
day... It’s a living hell. If you’re going to go through life with Potter,
have your own house and your own life.”

Draco smiled, but then he heaved a sigh. “We’re far from marriage yet. Very
far...”

“But if the day ever comes, remember my words.”

Draco nodded. “I will.” They remained in silence for a short period of time,
and then Draco asked, “Are you and Black going to be all right? Your fight
seemed quite... violent.”

Severus frowned. “We’ve had worse. I think it’s always going to be like
this between us. There are too many wounds in our hearts... I guess things will
be better when Potter leaves.”

“Jealousy...” murmured Draco.

Severus smiled bitterly. “Just wait and see, Draco. As soon as they make up,
you’ll understand perfectly what I’m talking about.”

“I think you’re exaggerating.”

“I wish...”

Draco didn’t retort. Instead, he said, “I wonder how they are doing.”

“They’ll work things out,” Severus said wearily. “And then we’ll be
totally forgotten.”

Draco made a face at Severus’ pessimism, but he worried. Would Harry really
forget about him once he and Sirius made up? They had just figured things out
between them. From that point on, their relationship could only move forward.
Just because Harry’s reason for stopping his life had returned, it didn’t
mean he would throw Draco aside like he meant nothing to Harry.

Draco sighed heavily and slowly took a sip from his tea.

“So...” Harry said, looking at everywhere but Sirius.

“So...” repeated Sirius, staring at him intently.

“I’m angry... and hurt... and sad... and really pissed off. But...” Harry
paused a minute as if searching for the right words. “I’m very grateful that
you’re here. And very happy, too. I know it doesn’t show...”

Sirius smiled emotionally. “It does, kiddo.”

Harry finally gathered courage to look Sirius in the eye. He took a deep breath
and then said in a low voice, “You should have looked for me. You should have
made sure that I was alright.”

“I know. And I know you didn’t expect me to be such a coward. Hell, I
didn’t expect to be such a coward. It’s just... My life consists of a huge
list of mistakes. I always acted without thinking, disregarding the consequences
of my foolish actions. This time I wanted to do things right. I love you way too
much to hurt you. I don’t want to mess with your life the way I did
before.”

“Don’t be stupid. Your reckless behaviour was one of things I loved the most
about you.” Harry felt tears in his eyes again, but he was done crying. “I
missed you. A lot. You were the closest thing I had for a father. I had so many
plans for us... But then I ruined everything! I...” He was done crying. Even
so, the tears wouldn’t stop falling. Sirius moved closer and hugged him
tightly. Harry didn’t put up a fight this time. Instead, he leaned his head on
Sirius’ shoulder and let himself be comforted.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius muttered in his ear.

“You should be,” Harry said between sobs. “I can’t believe you’re
here. And I can’t believe I have to thank that bastard for this moment!”
choked Harry.

Sirius chuckled softly. Harry’s grasp tightened around him as if to reassure
himself that Sirius wasn’t just an illusion. Sirius smiled, kissed Harry’s
forehead tenderly and then pulled Harry’s messy hair away from his face. “I
have to thank that bastard, too, you know?” Sirius said, winking at Harry.

Harry made a face. He wiped his tears away and commented, “But you’re
married to him. It’s only natural. In an odd way.”

“Well, it was the least I could do for the poor soul. He rescued me after
all.”

“Do you really love him?” Harry asked.

“Strangely, yes,” answered Sirius with a grimace. “He isn’t so bad once
you get to know him. His cooking is really good. And his looks have improved
quite a lot ever since he cut that nasty greasy hair of his. You wouldn’t know
just by looking at him, but he’s quite good in bed, too.”

“I don’t want to know about that,” Harry protested. “My trust in you is
still very fragile. Don’t ruin it by talking about him.”

“Do you think you’ll ever trust me again? Or love me?” asked Sirius
solemnly.

“I do love you,” Harry said in a feeble voice. “As for my trust...
Didn’t I just say I trust you? It’s weak, but we can work it out.”

“We can work things out in our trip to Tibet,” Sirius pointed out.

Harry’s eyes twinkled. “You’re coming with me?”

“Of course I am. I’m one of the few people who met Master Yoda.”

Harry grimaced at Sirius’ joke. “You know Star Wars?”

“I do! I’m a huge fan.”

“There’re a lot of things I don’t know about you.”

“We have plenty of time to know each other better now,” said Sirius,
smiling. “I want that more than anything in the world. I hope someday you’ll
be able to forgive me completely.”

Harry nodded and hugged Sirius again. “Please, don’t leave me again.”

“I’m not going anywhere this time,” Sirius muttered.

Harry was so happy he thought his heart would burst out of his chest. Having
Draco and Sirius by his side, and wonderful friends waiting for him at home, he
felt finally at ease. There was only one thing he needed to do now in order to
put his life on the right track again.



                                Kapitel 38: 38.
                                ---------------


38.
Three days later, Draco found himself sitting by the windowsill, cursing and
sulking about his bad fate, and hating himself for such a pathetic scene. His
eyes seemed to be glued to the sky. He barely noticed Severus’ entrance. Draco
couldn’t keep his eyes away from Harry and Sirius, the pair of them flying in
the vast grey sky like there was no tomorrow, having the time of their lives. He
nearly bit off all his fingernails and growled with dissatisfaction when he
heard Harry’s joyful laughter as he went after the Golden Snitch.

“Do you want that scotch now? You look like you need it,” said Severus
bemusedly, watching Draco very closely.

“Yes, please,” Draco answered absent-mindedly. He heard a soft chuckle
behind him and he turned around to glare at Severus. His godfather stared back
at him, silently saying ‘I told you so’. Draco’s blood boiled. “What?”
he snarled.

Severus poured them each some scotch and handed a full glass to Draco. After
taking a sip of his own glass, Severus said, “Oh, nothing really. I was
just... thinking about a few things.”

Draco raised an eyebrow. “Things like...?”

“Things like...” Severus paused a minute and then said with a sneer, “I
told you so.”

Draco cursed him and gave him a dirty look. He looked up again and watched Harry
catching the Snitch and hugging Sirius. In Draco’s point of view, Harry looked
rather pathetic. He had been behaving as if he were still twelve years old and
wanted to impress his father with his skills.

Severus had warned him about that. He had told Draco that, once Harry and Sirius
made up, Severus and Draco would come second. Draco had prayed so much for a
different outcome, but the fact remained that Severus was correct. Draco felt as
if he didn’t exist most of the time.

His feelings on the matter were very contradictory. For one thing, he was happy
for Harry. For another, he was pissed off. He now wished – quite selfishly and
jealously – that Harry hadn’t accepted Sirius’ apologies at all. In fact,
he was quite angry at Harry’s lovey-dovey mood towards a man who hadn’t even
bothered to look for him. Harry had taken things too well, too easily. He should
have given Sirius more of a hard time in gaining his trust again.

But instead, Draco was the one sulking alone. Well, not alone. He had Severus’
annoying company – and now Johnny Walker’s too – to make him feel even
more depressed about himself. He leaned his head against the window and sighed
heavily.

“I thought you were happy for him,” Severus pointed out viciously.

“I am,” Draco said dryly. “That doesn’t mean I don’t feel like choking
him to death for putting me aside and completely ignoring me these past few
days. I mean, don’t they ever get tired? I haven’t seen Harry this energetic
in a long time.”

“You’re jealous,” stated Severus with a smirk.

“I am jealous,” Draco admitted bitterly. “And oddly, you’re taking this
quite well.”

Severus took another sip from his scotch and then made a face. “I’m as angry
as you are. The only difference is that I’m used to it. I know I’m not top
priority in his life. First there was James, then Lupin, then the Marauders, the
Order and now... Harry...” Severus looked sad for a moment, and then the
moment was gone. “I can’t beat them. What’s the use of getting all worked
up because of it? I’m old and exhausted. I’m done complaining about things
that will never change. Let them enjoy themselves. At least he’ll come to me
at night...”

“I don’t want to come second in his life!” Draco snapped out. “I’m
tired of being second! I wasn’t even his number one enemy in Hogwarts, dammit!
I want to be his number one! I deserve it! I shook him out of his depression,
not Black! He was hiding away from Harry while I was out there trying to help
him. And what do I get in return? Nothing! Not even at night!”

Severus frowned. “You mean... You two haven’t...”

Draco groaned, “No.”

“Not even once?” Severus asked sceptically.

“No...” murmured Draco gloomily.

“Well, that’s a surprise. Or maybe not. It’s Potter we’re talking
about,” Severus said to himself. “Have you tried to seduce him?”

Draco flushed slightly. He couldn’t believe he was having this kind of
conversation with Severus. “No! Why should I?”

“Have you talked to him about what’s bothering you?”

“He should notice on his own!” Draco exclaimed, upset. “What kind of lover
is he if he doesn’t notice when I’m furiously mad at him?”

Severus’ lips curled. “I’m sure you don’t want to take advice from a
person like myself, because I’m not one to talk, but... He won’t know what
you feel unless you tell him, Draco. You need to communicate with him if you
want a successful relationship. You won’t have that if you keep hiding your
true feelings from him.”

“That’s really precious coming from you!” Draco complained.

“As a matter of fact, it is. I’m still new at this relationship thing,
Draco, but that’s something I’ve learned. If you don’t voice your fears,
he’ll never know. And I know it’s easier said than done...”

“I was thinking more of a ‘do what I say, don’t do what I do’ kind of
thing, but that works for me too,” Draco sneered.

Severus sighed. “I know it isn’t easy. It’s even more difficult for me
because I’m old and quite set in my ways. But you’re still young. There’s
still time to make things right. If you’re mad at him, then say so! You have
the right to be angry! He’s being a jerk. But then again, he is a Potter after
all,” Severus said tartly.

Draco kept staring into space for a while, lost in his own thoughts. Suddenly,
he gave a soft chuckle. Severus looked at him puzzled and Draco explained, “I
was just thinking how convenient it’ll be for you if I talk to Harry. It’d
save you the trouble going through the same thing with Black. Am I wrong?”

Severus grimaced. “No wonder you’re a Malfoy.”

Draco raised his glass in the air and winked. “No wonder you’re my
godfather.”

Severus looked at him fondly, but also a little embarrassed about Draco’s
sharp perception. His godson had seen right through him.

“I also thought you disapproved of me and Harry. Now you’re giving me love
advice. It’s pretty odd, to say the least. Of course, now that I finally
understand you, I can’t blame you for trying. And it’s quite refreshing
actually. To think that your love for that man up there is worth more than your
pride.”

“Not that much,” Severus cut him off immediately.

“Right,” Draco half-smiled. “Let me rephrase it then. Your love for him
isn’t bigger than your pride, but it is bigger than your hate for Harry...”

“Not hate,” Severus cut him off again. “Hate is a pretty strong word. I
actually like the rascal when he isn’t being such a spoiled brat, which is
very rare...”

“He isn’t a rascal! He is a twit, though. And so fucking blind...” Draco
looked sideways at Severus. “You know, I’m not sure if I should listen to
you. You don’t know anything about relationships. You’re afraid of doing
exactly what you told me to... And you don’t bother to sell me out just so you
can have Black all to yourself again! Let me ask you something: are you really
getting some at night? You sound really desperate now that I think about it.
You’d never have this conversation with me if you weren’t. You would
certainly never throw me at Harry and help me out with our relationship!”
Severus made a face and Draco leaned forward with a frown. “You know,
sometimes I wonder how wonderful it would be to have a Gryffindor for a
godfather. Even better: a Hufflepuff! Come to think of it... Gryffindors are way
too emotional and can be sodding cowards sometimes... And Hufflepuffs...
They’re so needy and... way too nice. They’d pat you on the head even if you
did something horrible. I’d rather stick to a good old cold-hearted bastard
Slytherin guy like yourself that would do things thinking only about his own
interests.”

Severus grimaced. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“How could I not?” Draco smirked. “You’ve just exposed yourself to me.
I’m delighted. I’m also a Slytherin. I can’t miss an opportunity like
this. Really... You almost got me. Almost. I’m glad I’m not a Hufflepuff.
I’d have actually believed your good intentions! That would be such a
shock!”

Anyone else would have been quite disturbed at this point, but not Severus and
Draco. Being Slytherins, they were finding their conversation very amusing.
Draco preferred it that way. It made him remember who he was. He wasn’t some
pathetic cry-baby being. He was a Slytherin, and Slytherins analysed everything
from a cold distance. Severus had come up with a plan of his own. Draco should
act too.

Severus looked up at his husband and asked Draco with a smirk, “So, what are
you going to do now? Pull his hair? Stick gum in it? If you want to, I can make
him a special potion...”

Draco switched his attention to Harry, who was nothing but a dot in the sky so
high was he flying, and then said, “I’m going to do what every boyfriend
should every now and then. I’m going to kick his ass when he comes down and
make him realise just what he’s been missing... I’ll have my sweet
revenge.”

Severus smiled wickedly. “I’m sure you will.”

Harry and Sirius came back to the house just before dinner, sweaty and happy.
Harry didn’t miss Severus’ strange smirk as he went upstairs to his room. He
wondered what the old – but attractive – bat had in mind. Harry knew that
Severus and Sirius’ relationship hadn’t been on very good terms since their
discussion three days ago, but he doubted that Severus would do something to
hurt Harry while Sirius was watching. He wouldn’t dare.

Then again, it was Severus Snape he was talking about, former Death Eater,
ex-Head of Slytherin and an all-around pain in everyone’s arses. It would be
better to watch his back when Severus was around.

Harry was still stunned by the turn of events. He had never expected to meet
Sirius and find him married to Severus Snape, his teenage nightmare. He also
hadn’t expected to forgive Sirius so quickly. He guessed that a part of him
had been too eager to have Sirius back to care. He had cried in Sirius’ arms
more than once. He had thought about never speaking to him again. But what would
that have solved? They had already shared their deepest fears and feelings, and
talked to their hearts’ content. Harry didn’t want to waste any more time.
Having Sirius near him again was a blessing. It was like life had given them a
second – or third – chance. He wouldn’t throw it away for anything in the
world.

They had had so much time to catch up, yet couldn’t get enough of each
other’s company. But after an exhausting but fun Quidditch match that day –
something he hadn’t done in a very long time – Sirius had questioned Harry
about his relationship with Draco, and Harry hadn’t known what to say. In
truth, he hadn’t paid too much attention to Draco ever since he had made up
with Sirius. It wasn’t as if he was doing it on purpose, though. Or was it?

Harry frowned as he paused outside the bedroom door. Draco’s confession had
been too sudden and badly-timed. Harry had had too many things to deal with in a
very short period of time. He was grateful for everything Draco had done for him
so far, but he needed some time to process things.

He knew that deep down he was just scared of his own feelings and afraid of
facing them. It was the same old story. His confession hadn’t sounded like one
at all. Harry had acted clumsily as he usually did. He had never been good at
that stuff. Cho and Ginny were living proof that he always screwed up his
relationships.

Besides, it wasn’t as if Draco had been warm to him. Lately, the blond had
behaved quite coldly towards Harry. Draco’s behaviour was so odd that Harry
wondered if the blond had lost interest in him. The thought made Harry blue as
he turned the knob.

Harry entered his room, determined to follow Sirius’ advice and figure out
what was going on in Draco’s mind. He closed the door and walked towards his
trunk to get some clean clothes. The door of the bathroom opened, and a
half-naked Draco sauntered out.

The image took Harry’s breath away. Draco’s hair was wet and slightly messy.
A few drops of water were running down his body sensually. The towel hung
loosely around his waist, almost revealing what was poorly hidden. Harry’s
eyes couldn’t focus on anything else. His heart started beating like a hammer;
the lower part of his body twitched.

Draco looked at him leisurely and their eyes locked. Even though Draco was
pretending not to care, Harry caught the fire in his dark grey eyes. Harry bit
his lower lip and held back a moan. The devil was purposely seducing him and
Harry was falling into his trap.

Draco unwrapped the towel and began to dry his hair with it. His nude body
gleamed and made Harry incapable of uttering the simplest words. He just stared,
praying that he wasn’t drooling all over himself.

“I hope you don’t mind that I used your shower. There was no hot water in
mine,” Draco said. Every word that came out of his mouth sounded like velvet
in Harry’s ears. It was almost hypnotic and definitely enticing.

“Be my guest,” Harry muttered, dazzled. He hated himself for being so weak.
He couldn’t deny his body’s needs, though. His whole being was screaming for
Draco. He had missed him.

Draco dropped the towel on the floor and caught up his pants but didn’t put
them on right away. Instead, he turned to Harry and asked, “Did you have fun
today?”

Harry didn’t answer. Instead, he asked, “Draco... Are you trying to seduce
me?”

Draco cocked his head and smiled charmingly. “What do you mean? I’m just
asking about your day.”

“You’re parading naked in my room.”

Draco pushed his hair back and shrugged. “I was innocently taking a
shower.”

“And now you’re innocently pretending to get changed in front of me.
You’re provoking my libido deliberately! I’m sure there’s plenty of hot
water in your bathroom. Even if that isn’t so, you’re a wizard. You could
have fixed the problem with a flick of your wand. Not that I’m complaining. I
actually... like it when you seduce me.”

Draco walked towards Harry slowly and stopped only inches away. “I don’t
know what you’re talking about. Why would I bother to seduce you? You made it
very clear these past few days that you don’t care about me at all. Why would
I waste my time on you?”

Harry’s eyes were drawn to Draco’s lips. “Because you love me. You said so
yourself.”

“I take it back,” Draco said indifferently.

“You can’t take it back,” Harry stated quite sure of himself. Draco felt
like punching him.

“Well, spending some time alone made me rethink a few things...” Draco
stared deeply in Harry’s eyes before saying, “For example, as I was
comparing you to Bill, I realised that...”

Those words triggered something inside Harry that made his blood boil and he
abruptly pulled Draco against his body. “Say that again,” Harry challenged
him. “Compare me to Bill again and let’s see where that will take you.”
Harry rubbed his lips against Draco’s, but the blond turned his head away.
Harry frowned. “Care to explain what’s going on? You come to my room, use my
shower giving me a lame excuse, and show up in front of me fully naked,
obviously intending to drive me crazy. But when I come closer you start this
strange game... Your body and your words are sending me mixed signals.” Harry
released Draco, who took a step back. “What’s wrong?”

Draco crossed his arms and leaned against the nearest wall. “You’ve been
ignoring me.”

“You’ve been ignoring me. You’ve given me the cold-shoulder ever since
Sirius and I...” Draco’s grunt interrupted Harry and made him ask curiously,
“What?”

“Sirius, Sirius, Sirius!” Draco seemed very irritated now. His cold façade
was gone. “He’s all you talk about!”

Harry was slightly taken aback. “Well, I...”

“You’ve spent every minute of every day with him,” Draco went on without
paying attention to Harry’s frowning face. “And then when night comes, you
only talk about him and how perfect he is, and blah-blah-blah! I don’t want to
hear about it! I can’t understand why you forgave him so easily. We’re
talking about a guy who didn’t bother to search for you and didn’t even let
you know he was alive! You may as well have demanded that we left this house at
once when he turned up! But instead... you’re playing Quidditch with him and
behaving as if nothing had happened at all!”

Draco’s words upset Harry. “I thought you were supporting me! I thought you
wanted me to make up with him. You told me to cherish the moment, remember?”

“Yes, I remember...” Draco said bitterly.

“Then what?” Harry asked. “I don’t get it.”

“You’re so dense, Harry. Can’t you see I’m jealous?” Draco shouted,
and then immediately hated himself for it.

Harry’s eyes widened. So that was why Draco had been treating him so coldly.
He should have known better. He shook his head and then smiled. “There’s no
reason for you to be jealous.”

Draco scowled. “Of course there is! Didn’t you feel jealous of Bill?”

“Well...” Harry looked away, annoyed. “I was. But it’s different!” He
glared at Draco and said, “Bill is your boyfriend. The thought of you and him
together makes me angry because I keep imagining you two in bed. There’s no
way the same could apply to Sirius and me!”

“There are all kinds of jealousy! Do you have any idea what it feels like to
have just opened up your heart to a person and then watch them treat you like
nothing has changed? And worse! You ignored me to be with somebody else. I know
you and Sirius have more of a father-son relationship, but it still hurts.”
Draco breathed deeply. “I don’t want to come second in your life. I want to
come first.”

Harry was stunned by Draco’s words. He stared at Draco for a long time, trying
to find the right thing to say. “You are so... bloody selfish! You and Snape
are the same. This has nothing to do with the two of you! It has nothing to do
with us! This is between Sirius and me! For Merlin’s sake, Draco! His death
triggered every paranoia I had till now. It was traumatic. I spent all these
years mourning his death, thinking it was my fault... First I lost him, then I
lost Remus... You have no idea what it felt like! You had it easy back then! I
had to deal with a lot of things on my own!”

“Fuck you, Harry! You weren’t the only one who suffered! You weren’t the
only one with traumatic experiences! I had my share of those moments, too!”
Draco snapped out. “But I didn’t push people away. On the contrary, I
realised that I needed them. I conquered my fears. I didn’t give up on life
like you did!”

“Congratulations, then!” Harry shouted angrily. “See? You win. You were
able to pick yourself up and start again! I wasn’t. You fucking win! Are you
happy now?”

“NO!” Draco was breathing hard. He walked towards the bed, caught up the
towel on the floor and wrapped it around his waist. Then he sat on the nearest
armchair and sighed sadly, cradling his head in his hands. “This conversation
isn’t going the way I’d planned. I didn’t mean to say those things to
you... It’s just... It’s hard for me... To see you so happy and to think
that it has nothing to do with me... It hurts to be cast aside just because
he’s here. I know it’s selfish, but that’s the way I am. I want you to
love me the way I love you. I want to be your everything.” The last sentence
was whispered in such a low voice that Harry almost didn’t hear it.

Harry walked towards Draco slowly and then knelt down in front of him, coaxing
his head up. “If it weren’t for you coming to my house and dragging me away
from my depression, I wouldn’t even be here today. You made me smile again.
Thanks to you I was able to forgive Sirius in the first place. So I think
you’re pretty important to me. I’m sorry if I made you feel that you
weren’t. I was just so happy to see Sirius again. Sirius and Remus are special
because they are my last link to my parents. I felt really bad after they were
gone. It isn’t about coming first or second. Would you stop competing all the
time?”

Harry’s voice was gentle and warming. It made Draco feel ashamed of himself.

“I was raised this way,” Draco said softly. “I was never loved by anyone.
My father was only proud of me when I did something he approved of. He loved
someone he had invented in his head. He didn’t love the real me! He didn’t
even see me most of the time.” Draco paused. The silent tears falling down his
cheeks broke Harry’s heart. Harry leaned forward and wiped them away with
tender kisses. Draco closed his eyes and sighed deeply. Harry hugged him tightly
and cradled Draco’s head against his shoulder.

“It’s ok,” Harry muttered softly. “I understand.”

“I think I was jealous because seeing you and Sirius together reminded me what
I never had with my father,” Draco confessed in a whisper. “Among other
things, like feeling totally left out...”

Harry stroked his back. “I’m sorry.”

“I feel so stupid... I was the one who encouraged you to forgive him in the
first place. Now I go and make a fool of myself... Jealousy is such a petty
emotion. I guess...” Draco made a pause and then frowned. “You know, if you
hadn’t ignored me I wouldn’t be feeling so bad. It’s your bloody
fault.”

“You didn’t exactly try to catch my attention. You should have come to my
room naked before,” Harry teased, refusing to let himself be dragged down into
Draco’s bad mood.

“You forgot that I’m leaving in two days. I don’t know when we’ll see
each other again.”

Harry’s eyes widened. He hadn’t been aware of that fact. As the thought of
not seeing Draco for a while sunk in, he suddenly felt a pressure around his
heart that made it hard to breathe. He was used to having Draco around. He
realised, stunned, that Draco had become a big part of his life, a big part of
him. He didn’t want them to be apart.

“Fuck,” he muttered, upset.

“It made me wonder if you’d miss me at all,” Draco said, sinking deeper in
the armchair.

Harry laced their fingers together and then said with a half-smile, “Strangely
enough... I will miss you. We have a routine together... I got used to you.”

Draco made a face. “Gee, honey! That’s so romantic.”

Harry chuckled softly. “Well, I was never good at this... But seriously,
Draco, I’m... I don’t... Dammit! I don’t like the idea of being away from
you. You know, I could only relax these days because I knew you were around in
case I needed you. You put me at ease.”

“I fear that...” Draco rose from the armchair and paced around the room.
“When I’m gone, I fear that you’ll realise that you don’t need me as
much as you thought you did. Like you said, you just got used to my company.
Once I’m gone, you’re going to forget about me. I’m afraid you’ll
realise you don’t really love me. You were just going with the flow... After
all, you keep repeating that you have no interest in men.”

Harry stood up immediately. Draco’s eyes searched his expectantly. Harry
sighed and said, “I can’t make you any promises.”

Draco bit his lower lip hard and tried not to show just how much that line had
crushed his heart.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t have all the
answers,” Harry went on. “But what I do know, right now, is that I... I do
love you. You’re right when you say I’m not interested in men. I’m only
interested in you.” Harry’s voice trembled. Draco felt himself shaking as
well. “And I hope that this feeling lasts forever. I want you to wait for me,
and I want to come back to you a better person. You deserve someone to love you
unconditionally. I want to be this person. I hope to be this person.”

Draco looked down, his eyes full of tears. He stood up and walked towards Harry
slowly and then kissed him on the lips very softly. “Be this person for me,
Harry. Be the one to love me unconditionally,” Draco whispered against his
mouth. “Love me with your eyes, with your body, with your words...” He
placed soft kisses on Harry’s cheeks, then the tip of his nose and finally his
lips again. “Love me with your mouth... your actions... your touch... Love me
with your whole being tonight.”

Harry needn’t be asked twice. His mouth captured Draco’s hungrily and
demandingly. His fingertips stroked Draco’s face delicately, and then slipped
down his neck and chest, stopping midway to play with a pink nipple.

Draco felt shivers down his spine. He let out a soft moan when Harry ran his
tongue along his jawline and then nipped it with his teeth. His towel was
unwrapped and dropped on the floor. Then he let himself be carried towards the
bed where they lay side by side.

“Teach me how to make you feel good,” Harry whispered after a deep kiss.

Draco smiled and kissed him. Then he began to undress Harry. He was just about
to caress Harry more intimately when the brunet pushed him away and jumped out
of bed. Draco had never wanted to choke someone so badly as in that moment. He
raised his eyebrows questioningly.

“Sorry...” Harry said apologetically. “I just realised that I’m all
sweaty. I just came from a Quidditch match and... Well... you know... You smell
so good, and... I stink. I need a shower first. I’m really sorry. You have no
idea how difficult it is for me to stop now...”

Draco chuckled softly as he spotted Harry’s hard-on and acknowledged Harry was
telling the truth. “I don’t mind,” Draco said.

“But I do.”

Draco got out of bed and stood in front of Harry. “Then let me join you.”

“Ok,” Harry said with a throaty voice full of desire.

They went to the bathroom and stopped face to face. It was Draco’s turn to
feel breathless as he watched Harry getting undressed in front of him. Harry’s
body had recovered rather quickly. Draco felt a little jealous of the sexy
slender figure that matched his own. Harry smirked at him, almost as if he had
read Draco’s thoughts.

If Draco was expecting the same shy Harry from before, he was stunned to find
barely any traces of him in Harry anymore. He found a dashing Harry waiting for
him, one that didn’t mind touching him all over and experiencing new things.

The joined bath lasted a lot longer than they had presumed, and by the time they
went to bed there was little left to the imagination. Sleep caught up to them
rather quickly, but their hearts – and bodies – were very satisfied.
Draco’s lips spread wide open as Harry cuddled him and snored very softly.
Their love making had put his mind at ease for the time being. A part of him
still felt worried about staying apart for an undetermined period of time, but
he wanted to believe in them. He had to believe that Harry would come back to
him.

“I love you,” Draco muttered as he closed his eyes and fell into a deep
sleep.

Severus woke up that Saturday morning as he usually did: in a very bad mood. He
had never been a morning person. Sirius, on the other hand, always seemed to be
energetic and grinned like the stupid prick he was. Severus grunted as he felt
Sirius’ arm hook his waist and bring them closer. The heat of Sirius’ chest
against his back elicited the familiar desire in Severus. He screwed his eyes
tightly as if that alone would be enough to make his needs go away. As usual, it
was in vain. The moment Sirius’ fingers tickled his belly very softly and then
travelled down to touch him, Severus knew he was ready to surrender whether he
wanted to or not.

It was always a lost battle to resist Sirius’ touch. He felt a kiss on his
shoulder, and suppressed a moan. It wasn’t so hard now to make Severus lose
control of his rigid self-control, but no matter how many times they had played
that game, he could still find strength to struggle, even if just for a few
minutes. Sirius considered his resistance part of the fun.

Severus allowed himself to be touched and kissed. He wanted to possess all of
Sirius; he wanted to own his lover’s soul. But that wasn’t possible – not
unless he used a very powerful spell. He had to tolerate the fact that Sirius
didn’t belong to him alone, and pray that the brat got better soon so he could
have Sirius all to himself again.

At least Draco had played his part well the other night. He and the brat had
locked themselves in Harry’s room and hadn’t even come down for dinner.
Severus let out a moan as a cold tongue met his nipples, and then his lips. All
thoughts of Harry and everything else were gone the moment Sirius’ tongue slid
within his open mouth.

And then from a place very far away he heard an excited shouting from somewhere
outside his house. He tried to ignore it and concentrate on Sirius’
attentions, but soon enough he heard clean and beautiful laughter cut through
the air. Severus cursed aloud as Sirius stopped what he was doing to pay
attention to the fuss outside.

“You’re crazy!” they heard Draco exclaiming. “You’ll catch a cold, you
idiot! Come inside!” Although Draco’s words seemed to show concern for
Harry, his tone was of someone highly amused with something.

Curiosity having gotten the best of them, Sirius and Severus jumped out of bed
simultaneously to see what was going on. As they reached the window and stared
down to the front of the house, they frowned at the same time. But while Severus
gasped quite loudly and scowled in disapproval, Sirius laughed his heart out.

The scene that seemed to cause such contradictory feelings on Severus was of a
naked Harry jogging around, grinning like an idiot and inviting his godson to
join him in his madness. Severus was deeply disturbed by it.

“He really is a mental case!” Severus exclaimed. He wanted to laugh like
Sirius, but he was too shocked to do so. “For Merlin’s sake! He’s lost it
for good this time! Why is he doing this? And why is Draco smiling like a
Hufflepuff instead of stopping this foolishness!”

As if Harry had heard his question, Harry said to Draco, “This is only the way
to pay for our bet. This isn’t my house, but it’ll have to do. At least for
now.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. He wondered what that bet was about.

“But it’s frigging cold! I don’t want you to die of pneumonia just because
of a stupid bet!” Draco complained.

“Oh, come on!’ Harry’s smile was so sweet that it touched even Severus’
heart. “Don’t tell me you don’t find this entertaining? I know you.
You’re enjoying this!”

Draco shrugged his shoulders but he wasn’t able to conceal a smile. “Just
come up here. I’ll rather enjoy you naked in bed with me.”

Severus made a face. “I really wish I hadn’t heard that. They are both
fools…”

Sirius looked at Severus with a grin and said, “Fools, yes. But oh, so much in
love!” he smirked. “We should join them and run naked in the cold! We’ll
freeze our arses, but then we can keep each other warm by the fireplace
and…”

Severus rolled his eyes. “Don’t be an idiot.”

“I’m not an idiot, I’m just romantic,” Sirius whispered very close to
his ear. Severus shivered, the familiar desire overtaking him. “Come on, Sev.
Just let yourself go.” Sirius kissed his cheek, and then turned his head to
the side to kiss him. “Allow me to be romantic, even if foolish, but love you
with all of myself.”

“Do I really have to listen to this cheap pickup line?” Severus asked with a
frown. Deep down his heart was melting all over.

Sirius smiled mischievously, knowing Severus’ mood well enough now to
disregard his sarcastic comments as a defence mechanism to protect his heart. He
just stared at his grumpy lover for a long time, and then dragged him to bed
with him. In spite of his protests, Severus gave in to his caresses. Their
relationship was far from being perfect, and they were still angry at each
other, but that was how things had always worked between them. They couldn’t
help hurting each other. They couldn’t help loving each other.

A lifetime would probably not be enough to solve their issues, but they were
working things out day by day. That was enough for Sirius and Severus. As long
as they were together, everything else came in second.

While Sirius loved Severus, downstairs a pair of lovers found comfort in each
other’s arms as well. If Sirius and Severus had watched them just for a little
while, they would have witnessed a very touching scene. Draco was wrapping
Harry’s body in a big black coat and placing a red scarf around his neck,
while Harry surprised him with a sweet stolen kiss.



                                Kapitel 39: 39.
                                ---------------


39.
The relentless ‘tick tick tick’ of the clock on his office wall was driving
Draco crazy. He tapped his foot impatiently on the floor and pretended to be
reviewing some paperwork that had been on his desk for weeks now. His
Head-Chief, Jonah, was keeping a strict watch on him, and kept showing his face
every five minutes to check on Draco’s supposed progress. But since Draco
wasn’t really doing anything, and hardly pretending to be otherwise, Hermione
took pity on him and grabbed a few of his reports. She then wrote them up
herself, handing them to the Chief as if they were proof of Draco’s hard
work.

Draco felt a little ashamed of himself for allowing her to do this for him, but
deep down he thought it was well deserved for all the unnecessary grief she had
put him through until then.

Even so, he did feel bad about it. He should be doing his work properly instead
of relying on Hermione’s friendship and good will.

The biggest problem was that he just couldn’t concentrate on anything. He had
been like that all week. He just missed Harry’s company too much.

Only one week had passed since their separation, but for Draco it felt like it
had been months. When he was finally able to have Harry all to himself and even
make Harry confess his feelings for him, destiny tore them apart. Draco
couldn’t believe his bad luck. But he understood that Harry had to go on his
self-discovery journey without him. It was hard for Draco to accept the fact
that he had had to be left behind, but there was nothing he could do.

He couldn’t wait to leave work and go home. Although his apartment now seemed
lonely and barren, it was a place where he could wait for news from Harry.

So far, though, not one letter had arrived. The only one writing him was
Severus, but all his godfather knew was that Sirius and Harry had arrived safely
in Tibet. Severus didn’t seem very pleased himself with the lack of news from
Sirius. And neither did Draco. To think that Harry hadn’t bothered to contact
him and tell him that he was ok hurt Draco deeply.

His insecurities were back in full force again. He feared that Harry would
return completely healed and determined to end their relationship; after all he
wouldn’t need Draco anymore. Or worse. Harry might not come back at all. Both
alternatives were making Draco quite anxious. So far he had been able to hold
himself in check and not panic. But it was hard on him. It was painful to show
up to work every day and pretend he was fine when he wasn’t.

Draco was shaken up by a lot of things. Harry was at the top of his list, but he
wasn’t the only one bothering Draco. There was also Lucius and Narcissa to
increase his stress to dangerous levels. His mother had been sending him letters
again. His father’s hearing was getting nearer and Narcissa seemed to think
that Draco had to perform the family duty and turn up to help Lucius get his
freedom back.

A few threats had started to arrive by owl post as well. Some of them were from
Harry’s enraged fans, disappointed with their hero for dating a Malfoy. They
all accused Draco of putting a spell on Harry.

Other letters were more worrisome. Some came embedded with dangerous curses.
Others brought random words of hate against homosexuals in general.

But there was one in particular that disturbed him the most. A person claiming
to be ‘The Avenger’ had only written two lines so far: ‘I know you saved
him. You’ll pay.’ Those words had been enough to make Draco feel chills down
his spine. Attached to the threatening letter was the picture of Draco kissing
Harry in the Hospital Wing.

“Draco?” Hermione called.

“Yes?” answered Draco distractedly.

Hermione sighed. “Why don’t you just go home? I’ll cover for you. I’ll
tell them you weren’t feeling very well.”

Draco sneered. “Wouldn’t our dear Head-Chief love to hear that? He’s just
waiting for an opportunity to get me sacked, Hermione. I won’t give him the
satisfaction.”

“Oh, you won’t be sacked. Boss loves you. Boss is our chief, not Jonah.
Jonah is just an idiot who thinks that he’s better than all of us.”

Draco was surprised to hear that. It was the first time he had heard Hermione
criticize Jonah so openly.

“And Jonah is Boss’ chief. So we are all doomed…” Draco muttered
dejectedly. “I can’t leave now… but I’m optimistic. The hours seem to be
passing by quickly, right?” Draco looked at his watch and cursed under his
breath. “Only 2 p.m.? What the hell is wrong with this damn thing?”

Hermione smiled sympathetically. “Are you sure you don’t want to play sick?
You should make good use of my help while you can. I might not always be around
to help out… You can trust me, you know? I won’t let you down,” she
finished with a sneer.

Draco sneered right back at her. He had caught the sarcasm in her voice. He knew
she was still angry with him for not letting her know his and Harry’s
whereabouts during the previous week. But shock had overcome her anger after
finding out about Sirius, Harry and the trip to Tibet.

They were on good terms now, especially after Draco told her everything that had
happened. She had been thrilled to know that she had been right all along about
their love for each other, and kept repeating ‘I told you so’ non-stop. But
she was still feeling hurt for being left out, so she took every opportunity she
could to voice her anger about the matter.

“Hermione, will you ever let it go?”

“Of course not! You and Harry left without telling us anything! We were
worried sick about you two! I actually set up a team of Aurors to go looking for
you. Jonah wasn’t exactly thrilled with me when he saw you coming through the
door on Monday as if nothing had happened to you! I managed to convince him that
something horrible had happened.”

“I’m sorry for being unharmed,” said Draco with a sneer. Hermione stuck
out her tongue at him. “It was a sudden decision. We received news from
Severus, then took the train and left… Besides, we didn’t want to let
anybody know where we were going. Not with the wizarding newspapers and
magazines all over us.”

“But I’m your friend! Your partner! And Harry’s best friend!” she
stated. “And there’s also the fact that Harry didn’t tell me anything
about having nightmares about Voldemort!” she exclaimed, upset.

“Shush! Would you keep your voice down?” Draco complained. “We don’t
need people knowing this! It’s enough that they are already suspicious of
Harry for dating me. Can you imagine what the Daily Prophet would do with the
information that Harry thinks he’s being possessed by Voldemort?”

She sighed. “I’m sorry… But I just can’t understand why he didn’t tell
me anything. Or Ron for that matter. We could have helped him! And you!”

“And because he told me you are feeling jealous,” Draco stated with a
smile.

She made a face. “I suppose I am… I just don’t get it. Why did he tell
you? I know your love for each other is growing and everything… but this
isn’t like Harry. I can’t help feeling that you are still hiding something
from me.”

Although Draco felt offended by her statement, he couldn’t help but admire her
sharp intuition. She was right. Harry wouldn’t have told him anything if Draco
hadn’t confessed to be the one responsible for Harry’s awakening from his
catatonic state. Draco was indeed hiding things from her, but that was for her
own safety. Draco still didn’t know whom he was dealing with. He needed to
know his enemy first.

“Of course I’m not hiding things from you! Don’t be silly,” he lied.
“Look… I think I’ll be off now. Could you tell Boss I wasn’t feeling ok
and…” He stood up and began to put some papers into his briefcase, but he
stopped when Hermione’s dry voice cut across him.

“SIT!” she ordered.

Draco obeyed her immediately. Hermione got really scary when she was bossing him
around with that commanding tone of hers.

“What are you not telling me?” she asked.

“Hermione…”

“Draco…” she said firmly.

“I can’t… It’s just...”

She crossed her arms. “Is this about that kiss in St. Mungo’s?”

He sighed. “What if it is?”

Her sharp eyes pierced through him as if they were making a hole in his head.

“On the outset I thought it was just a romantic image. Then I started to
think… You panicked when you saw that photo. Why? Of course it was a shock to
see that printed. But you wouldn’t mind that much unless you were hiding
something. And then I realised how naïve I’ve been at the time, thinking that
your presence on the same day that Harry woke up was just a coincidence. There
was no coincidence, was there?” she asked bluntly.

Draco got up from his desk and came to stand next to her. He then bent down and
whispered in her ear, “There was no coincidence. Harry woke up because of
me.”

She almost jumped from her seat. “I knew it! Tell me everything. Leave nothing
out!”

He sighed, defeated. “Ok… But not here. Let’s go somewhere else.”

--

They sat in a muggle café a few blocks away from the Ministry. The place was
chosen since it was quite deserted. Draco took a sip from his coffee and after
that he rested the cup on the table. He played with the sugar bowl for a while
before Hermione called his attention.

“Spill it,” she ordered.

And Draco did. He began his story with the rumours that Harry had been trapped
in an endless nightmare thanks to Voldemort’s curse; how Dumbledore and Snape
had come up with a counter-curse in the form of a potion and how Draco had been
chosen to make sure that Harry drank it.

Throughout the whole explanation, Hermione felt a variety of emotions. She felt
horrified and shocked. She felt betrayed once again for being left out of
something so important concerning her best friend. But in the end, even though
she was hurt, she understood why they had had to be so secretive about it all.

Instead of sulking about the matter, her mind began to work on the immediate
problems. Since Harry was already trying to find out if he was really cured or
cursed, she focused on Draco. Someone had seen him in St. Mungo’s and even had
a photograph to prove it. The next step was to find out who this person was and
if they knew about Draco’s mission that day. Draco didn’t tell her that the
threatening note he received pretty much confirmed that someone knew he had
saved Harry.

“You can’t stay in your apartment anymore,” she said after a few seconds.

Draco made a face. “Of course I can.”

“No, you can’t. You have no protection whatsoever around you apartment. No
wards to shield you in case of an attack. Your apartment is too exposed, not to
mention that you live in a Muggle building. I know you can take care of yourself
pretty well, but think about the people around you.”

She was absolutely right. Draco hadn’t thought about the Muggles. It was too
risky to remain in his apartment, especially since he was already receiving
threats. He didn’t want to move out, though. His apartment was his home. He
loved the place.

He was confident enough that he could do a good job casting protection spells
all around the building so no one would be harmed in case of an attack.

There was also the fact that the remaining Death Eaters didn’t have a leader
anymore. They wouldn’t dare to break into a Muggle building and hurt the
people who lived there. They wouldn’t have the nerve to mess with an Auror
like Draco, who was very well known throughout the wizarding world and was very
good at his job – hence why Jonah had a problem firing him. Most importantly,
they knew better than to raise the Aurors’ anger just for a personal
vendetta.

The only one capable of doing something evil was Lucius. And while his father
remained in prison, Draco didn’t have anything to worry about.

“Draco?” Hermione called softly.

“I know what you’re saying. I just… I don’t think I need to worry about
this now.”

“Are you sure?” she insisted. “This is serious, Draco. If you think
someone might be after you… If you think that picture was a warning of some
kind…”

“I don’t know what that picture means,” he said. He was lying, and
Hermione probably knew that. He avoided looking at her while he went on, “I
think I won’t be in trouble as long as my father doesn’t get out of
prison.”

She opened her eyes widely. “Your father? Do you think your father has
something to do with that picture?”

Draco looked down and she got angry with him. “Draco! You’re still hiding
things from me! What is it? Who do you think that photographed you that day?”

“I have no bloody idea!” he snapped. “And I don’t care either.”

Hermione hardly flinched at his rudeness. Instead, she kept her head high and
her tone of voice strong. “I know you’re afraid of Lucius. And I know he is
responsible for almost destroying you in the past. So Draco... you don’t have
to hide things from me. I can help you. You don’t need to go through this
alone.”

“What makes you so sure I’m in danger?” he asked. He was touched by her
words, but at the same time he couldn’t help but to feel irritated. It was
probably the guilt talking, because there was a threat and he was pretending
otherwise.

“Because I know you. You’re afraid of something, and I think this something
is related to that picture.”

Draco sighed. “I appreciate your concern and friendship. But I’ll be all
right.”

“You sound just like Harry… You both think you can solve things on your
own,” she declared sadly. “I really hope you know what you’re doing… But
you need to learn how to trust me…”

“I do trust you!” he exclaimed.

“Not really, Draco. You still keep a lot of things to yourself. You’re a
very reserved person. I respect that. But just remember that you do have friends
now. Real ones, not Crabbe and Goyle. And if you need me, I’m here for you,”
she said in her mother-hen way.

Draco smiled. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Hermione sighed deeply. “You should go back to Harry’s house at least.”

“Harry’s place is as safe as my apartment… Besides, that place is too big
for one person. And I would keep seeing Harry at every corner and every
room…”

“Still…”

Draco took her hand in his and squeezed it. “I’m a big boy. I’ll be
fine.”

“I can’t help but worry. Because if whoever took that picture knew your true
intentions back then and never did anything to you... It’s a hell of a long
time to think up a proper revenge, Draco. Only now the picture is published, and
almost as a warning for you. Why now? I have a bad feeling about this... So just
promise me you’ll take care of yourself, ok?”

“Ok. I promise.”

Hermione didn’t seem very convinced, but she didn’t say anything more. Draco
watched her as she made her way back to the Ministry and wondered what she was
thinking. He knew Hermione well by now, enough to be sure that her brain was
definitely being put to good use.

He didn’t know why he found it so hard to confide in her. He couldn’t help
himself, though. She was right yet again. It was in his nature to solve his own
problems.

He paid the bill and left the café. Then he headed for his apartment. His mind
was so busy with other things that he didn’t even notice a shadow following
him.



                                Kapitel 40: 40.
                                ---------------


40.
Draco felt the hand on his shoulder a block before entering his building. He
jumped away from it, whirling around with his wand at the ready. His heart was
beating several miles per hour with the thought that it might be one of
Harry’s crazy fans, a homophobic maniac, or – he shivered violently – the
person threatening him.

But it was none of those. It was just Bill Weasley wearing a long black leather
jacket, a tight white shirt underneath it and dragon boots that Draco had given
him before everything fell apart.

“Bill!” Draco exclaimed with his hand on his chest, but all the same
relieved to see his ex-boyfriend.

“I’m sorry if I’ve scared you,” said Bill with the hoarse voice that
Draco had learned to adore.

Seeing Bill while he was feeling so lonely awakened the part of his heart that
had really cheered for their relationship to work out. The redhead looked so
handsome and elegant. And not at all depressed, which annoyed Draco a little.
Draco gulped and held the urge to embrace his ex-boyfriend tightly. That silly
action would lead to things he preferred not to think about, like a passionate
‘hello’ and a ‘I miss you’ kiss followed by a night of very satisfying
sex in his bed.

Draco felt mortified by his train of thoughts. He loved Harry; there were no
mistakes about that anymore. But even though his heart belonged to the Golden
Boy, his body still remembered Bill and missed him… especially now that he was
alone. He frowned with disgust at the weakness of his body. He could almost hear
Harry’s sneer in his head: ‘I knew you wouldn’t last a week without
sex.’ He would prove Harry wrong. He was strong. He and Bill were just friends
now, if that much. They hadn’t talked since that awful encounter in Diagon
Alley.

“Are you ok?” asked Bill with a frown.

“Yeah,” muttered Draco, nodding his head absent-mindedly.

“Can we talk?” Bill asked with his head down, as if he was afraid of facing
Draco. “The last time we talked was a real mess… Too many strangers butting
into our business… And I’m to thank for that… I wasn’t exactly fair to
you that day… But… I was hurt. You weren’t exactly fair to me either.
So… can we talk? Then I can ask for your forgiveness properly.”

Draco sighed. They did need to talk properly about the end of their affair. To
say that things had been messy between them the last time was an understatement.
They had been terribly messy. They exchanged a look. Draco nodded once again and
asked Bill to follow him inside.

Not a word was exchanged between them on the way up to Draco’s flat. However,
Draco could sense the tension growing between them. And it was all Harry’s
fault for leaving him and depriving him from sex for a week, plus not bothering
to contact him at all. Harry deserved to be cheated on since he didn’t care to
let Draco know he was all right. Draco shook his head and gripped the strap of
his briefcase harder until his knuckles turned white. He shouldn’t think that
way. He had come too far to just give up on their relationship on the account of
his stupid insecurities. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to Bill to use him as a
rebound just because he was upset with Harry.

Draco undid the magical ward of his door before opening it, and made room for
Bill to come in. Once inside, Draco asked Bill to choose between one of the two
small sofas or the leather armchair to sit down. Bill was about to do just that,
but when he passed by Draco their bodies touched slightly, and it was as if time
froze between them. Bill stared at Draco, who stared back at him. After their
eyes locked, their breathing became unsteady. Draco’s body was reminded of
what it was like to feel Bill’s strong body on top of him, thrusting inside
him, making him come. He blinked to make the spell dissipate from his mind, but
it didn’t seem to work. The distance between them faded slowly, and the next
thing they knew they were trapped in each other’s arms, desperately kissing
one another until they were out of breath and hard.

Just as fast as their bodies came together, the image of Harry invaded Draco’s
mind and he repelled Bill with a vigorous push. He cursed Bill for being such a
good kisser. They stared at each other, gasping for breath. Draco sat down hard
on an armchair, looking dejected.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “This can’t happen… Harry… you know?”

Bill sat down next to him and smiled feebly. “Actually, I’m sorry. I
shouldn’t have done that. So, I take it that things between you and Harry are
running smoothly. Or not. But you finally have him. Right?” There was a hint
of jealousy in Bill’s voice, and something that resembled hope. But he
wasn’t angry with Draco, just sad that things between them didn’t work out.

“Actually, I don’t know. I think so.” Draco made a face at Bill’s
questioning expression. “Let’s just say that we realised we are in love with
each other, but Harry had to leave for a while, so… I don’t know.”

“Leave?” Bill frowned. “To where?

“He just needed to do something personal,” Draco said, trying to make it
sound like it didn’t matter much. And he was really pissed off about that. But
at the same time glad that Harry had a chance to find himself, even if it was
away from him. Draco felt like bashing his head in the nearest wall.

“But why didn’t he take you with him?” Now Bill looked not only puzzled
but also very upset.

“Because… well, he couldn’t. He wanted to, but he couldn’t. And besides,
I have my work. I can’t just take off somewhere with him. I have my
responsibilities… And it isn’t as if he’s gone away forever. He’ll come
back.”

“But you’ve just began your relationship! How could he leave all of a
sudden? When will he come back?” Bill insisted.

“Bill…” Draco sighed tiredly and asked him to stop the questions with a
pleading look. Bill obeyed him against his will.

“I just want to make sure that you’re ok,” Bill declared.

“I know. And I am. It’s just… well… it’s been a week… And then I saw
you… And we’ve shared something very special together… You were the first
guy I actually thought about settling down with. And I adore you. So, seeing you
like this… My body missed yours… but I’m with Harry, so… No.” Draco
was fully aware that he was babbling, but he couldn’t stop from making a fool
of himself.

Bill leaned against the sofa and sighed tiredly as well. “I understand. I
thought I’d be able to just talk to you without wanting to kiss you and hold
you… but… I also missed you. Which is why I can’t believe Harry’s gone.
Because it was hard for me to give you up. I was being honest when I said you
were the first man to tempt me, Draco. You were the first one to really make me
believe that I could have a deeper relationship with another man and be happy. I
do admit, though, that perhaps I first found myself attracted to you because you
reminded me of Jacques. And since you were a lot more mature than he was, I
found myself in love with you.”

“And how is the brat by the way?” asked Draco, ignoring the thumping in his
heart from Bill’s last statement. He convinced himself that he was just needy.
In a way, having sex with Bill would be a way of getting back at Harry for not
being in touch with him.

Bill made a face at the way Draco switched the conversation to Jacques in order
to avoid hearing about Bill’s true feelings for him. “Still acting like the
immature brat that he is. I’ve been ignoring him, and he’s been stalking
me.”

“But you like him, don’t you?”

Bill shrugged. “And since when is just liking someone the answer to anything?
It’s quite complicated, that’s what it is. But yes, I do like him. Against
all reason I may add.”

Draco smiled sympathetically. “I share your pain.”

Their eyes met for a moment. Draco was again reminded of the warmth and security
Bill had always been able to give him and contrasted it to the anxiety Harry
made him feel. But then again, Bill’s kisses had never made Draco feel like
his legs would turn to jelly. Having Bill in his apartment only made Draco
uneasier about not having Harry around for Merlin knew how long.

“Anyone is better than Fleur, I guess,” said Draco. “Even the brat.”

Bill chuckled at that. “Fleur is a good girl. She’s just… too eager to get
her hands on the things she thinks she wants. You know, Jacques told her about
me. She went ballistic.”

“Oh, my!” Draco exclaimed. “I so wanted to see her face.”

Bill shook his head. “Trust me, it wasn’t pretty at all.”

“I can imagine. I know the bitch very well.”

Bill told him about how bad the Delacours had taken the whole matter, and how
they almost had Bill arrested for sleeping with Jacques while he was a minor. In
the end, it was Fleur who came into Bill’s defence by alleging that Jacques
had always been a little whore and therefore, if anyone had been misled in their
relationship that person was Bill. Since Jacques had also declared that he had
lost his virginity with one of his Uncles, and if Bill should get arrested then
so should Uncle Phillip, everything was quickly buried and forgotten and the
family welcomed Bill.

Draco listened to Bill’s story with a horrified expression. Once the tale was
over, Draco began to narrate his own, leaving out Harry’s nightmares and
Sirius’ sudden rise from the dead. He told Bill about how Harry had confessed
his feelings for him, and how Harry had left suddenly to take care of some
personal business.

“I’m glad to know that he loves you. He finally woke up to reality then. Are
you happy now?” Bill asked quietly.

Draco’s eyes flickered and he looked the other way with a feeble smile. “I
am.”

“Are you really?”

“Well, you know… everything is new, so there are no guarantees… But I’m
happy. He told me that he loves me, right? Even though he left right
afterwards… He’ll come back soon. I hope,” Draco frowned. “Besides, I
need some time to myself. Harry needs it, too. It was all too sudden, too
soon… so…” Draco knew perfectly well that he was babbling again. He cursed
himself under his breath.

Bill didn’t seem very convinced, but he said nothing. Instead, he changed the
subject.

“You know, I also came here to ask for your forgiveness and offer you my
friendship,” Bill said, never taking his eyes off Draco. “After all, we’ve
always been good friends, even before we became lovers. So if you ever feel like
talking, you can come to me. If Harry doesn’t come around, I’ll make
him.”

Draco chuckled softly at the last sentence. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.
And I forgive you if you forgive me as well.” Bill nodded and Draco went on in
a teasing tone of voice, “Just don’t invite me for double dates with that
little blond shrimp and our friendship will be just fine!”

“That’s fine with me. After all, I’m not seeing Jacques at the moment.
So… Do you want to use me as your sex toy while Harry is away?” Bill asked.
“I’m still available. And let’s not forget that I was your boyfriend
first.”

Draco’s cheeks tinged soft pink and he chuckled more openly this time.
“Don’t tempt me…”

“Well, if you want me, you know where to find me,” Bill said with a mocking
but seductive tone.

“What would the little brat say?” Draco asked, amused. “I don’t want him
stalking me with a murderous look. He’s quite sassy.”

“He’d probably wait for you in a dark corner and stun you. Or worse.”

“He can try…”

They laughed at each other’s silliness. Then Draco rested his head on Bill’s
shoulder and sighed. “I really love you.”

“So do I,” said Bill, stroking Draco’s silky hair. “But you’re crazily
in love with Harry Potter.”

“I am. Can’t do anything about it. Can’t make it stop. Last time I saw him
he behaved so cutely. It made me want to bite him, fuck him and lock him away so
no one could steal him away from me,” Draco confessed.

“Uh! That intense, huh?” Bill made a face. “Perhaps I’m not that ready
to listen to these kind of things just yet.”

Draco raised his head and put some distance between them. “Sorry…”

“It’s ok. I know what’s like to be crazy about someone, and I mean really
crazy, to a point where you want to strangle the person but also fuck him
senseless until the brat can’t walk the next morning.”

“Hey, I’m the one who’s not ready to hear these things!” Draco
complained, making a face. They laughed again. “Bill… I really miss you. I
hope we can remain being friends.”

“Me too.” Bill brought Draco closer to him and held him into a tight
embrace. Then he kissed the top of Draco’s head and pinched his nose fondly.
“I hope you find the happiness you’re looking for, Draco. And I hope Harry
appreciates you, because you deserve the best.”

Draco felt his eyes wet. “Thanks. I hope the same for you, too. I hope the
brat can appreciate you.”

They gave each other a peck on the lips to seal their new friendship. While Bill
held him, Draco let his mind drift to Harry. Did he think about Draco every
minute of every hour just like Draco had been thinking about him? He had no
idea. All he could do was hope that Harry would still want to be with him when
he came back.

--

Bill went back to his apartment close to midnight, and he found an enraged
Jacques waiting for him. He made a face as Jacques cornered him at the entrance
of his building.

“You were with him!” Jacques accused. “You were, weren’t you?”

“You should know. After all, weren’t you following me?” Bill said with a
scowl, entering the building.

Jacques followed him to the elevator. “I was not!”

”I saw you!” Bill exclaimed. Jacques stood next to him with a pout.

They remained silent all the way to Bill’s apartment. When they were inside,
Jacques exclaimed, “Ok, so I was following you! But that was just because I
wanted to talk to you. You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Of course I’ve been avoiding you.” Bill sat on his couch and sighed
heavily. He looked up at Jacques and held the urge to cuddle him. The young
man’s eyes looked frightened, but his crossed arms, pouting lips and red face
were from anger. Bill adored that duality in him. One of the things that
attracted him most to Jacques was the ability he had of looking so fragile while
trying to act strong and bold. “Grow up, Jacques. You won’t win me with
threats and your whole family turned against me.”

“I didn’t mean for that to happen!” Jacques complained. “I was just
telling them I would do anything to be with you.”

“They wanted me arrested!” exclaimed Bill, losing his temper.

“Yes, but I threatened to tell on my Uncle if they dared to do something
against you, didn’t I?”

Bill made a face. The Delacours were so keen on their family reputation that
after Uncle Phillip’s tastes were cast into the spotlight, everyone became
suddenly docile to avoid a scandal. They were so different from the Weasleys.
Everything about the Delacours was phoney, which was one of the reasons why he
had broken up with Fleur. Their families had nothing in common.

“We have nothing in common,” Bill stated more to himself than to Jacques.

The blond young man’s chin began to tremble. It melted Bill’s heart
immediately.

“See? You’re about to cry,” he said, annoyed, even though deep down he
wanted to bring Jacques closer. “You might be older, but you still behave like
a spoiled brat. I need someone who can be with me on equal terms. I don’t want
to baby-sit you. I want a partner, not a child.”

“I’m not a child!” Jacques denied, but it did sound like he was. He pouted
even more, then his chin trembled again and a few tears escaped from his eyes.

This time Bill didn’t manage to hold back. He stood up and embraced the young
man, making him rest his head on his shoulder.

“You really are a stupid brat, aren’t you?” whispered Bill in his ear.

“Of course I am. I’m in love. Love makes us stupid,” Jacques stated,
wiping his tears away with the back of his hand. “Did you get back together
with him?”

“No. We’re just friends now. We just needed to sort things out.”

Jacques looked into Bill’s eyes. “Do you still love him?”

“Yes,” stated Bill calmly. Jacques looked hurt. “But...” Jacques looked
up at him hopefully. Bill smiled. “I’ve been thinking... that there’s this
one person that it’s been on my mind for a long time. He’s pretty and sassy.
I kind of like his provocative ways. But he gets on my nerves pretty often. If
only he was able to grow up once and for all. And stop behaving so immaturely.
Then maybe I could consider dating him.”

Jacques’ eyes glowed. “Really? So all I have to do is...”

“Act more like an adult.”

“Then you’ll finally accept me?”

Bill cupped Jacques’ face in his hands. “It isn’t about acceptance. I
really like you, Jacques. It’s just this tiny bit of you that refuses to grow
up. You’re way too impatient. You need to let our relationship flow naturally.
You can’t demand that I be with you. Give me some space. Let me do the
seducing once in a while. Do you get what I mean?”

“Yes. I’ll try my best. I’ll... be more patient. Although I’ve been
waiting for you since I was sixteen...”

“You tricked me that night. You told me you were twenty.”

Jacques shrugged. “A bloke has to do what he must to get the man of his dreams
in his bed.”

Bill shook his head and suppressed a smile. Jacques’ attitude had given him a
lot of headaches. “You’d better start behaving properly from now on. No more
subterfuge. No more lies. Let’s take things slowly.”

“So you’re really going to give us a chance?” Jacques was thrilled.

“Yes. If you behave properly and prove to me that you aren’t just a spoiled
brat anymore.”

Jacques smiled mischievously. He moved forward to kiss Bill, but then retreated
at once, putting some distance between them. Bill raised an eyebrow.

“What?” he asked.

“You told me to let you do the seducing,” Jacques reminded him. His eyes
were sparkling and he was smiling seductively. Bill felt his temperature rising.
When Jacques was in his seductive Veela mode, it was quite hard to resist him.
After all, it was in his blood to be sexy and use that as means to an end. And
the end that night was Bill.

Coming closer, Bill wrapped his arms around the smaller body and crushed it into
an aggressive and lustful kiss until Jacques melted away. He then carried the
young man to his bedroom where they spent the whole night making love.

--

One week had passed by, and Harry was going insane. There weren’t any
miraculous cures or dangerous paths to follow in order to find himself. Tei Pei,
or Master Yoda as Sirius liked to call him, looked just like any ordinary
Tibetan monk. He was a bald little man with peaceful and clean brown eyes, and
always wore a calm expression on his face. He seemed to be quite fond of Sirius,
which was why they hadn’t faced too many problems in finding his location.

Harry had expected to undergo a series of adventures to find the place, but
nothing extraordinary had happened. After Sirius and Harry apparated across the
border, Tei Pei had already been there, waiting to guide them to his temple at
the top of a beautiful mountain.

And that was it. The ancient wizard hadn’t asked Harry anything, just told him
to prepare himself. Harry didn’t even know exactly what he was supposed to be
preparing himself for. Sirius told Harry that soon Tei Pei would lead him
through a journey of self-discovery, but Harry couldn’t understand exactly how
he would do that when all Tei Pei asked him to do was help him in his daily
morning chores and meditate throughout the whole afternoon.

Harry was bored out of his mind. And to make matters worse he couldn’t stop
thinking about Draco. During his meditation hours, his thoughts would always
drift to what Draco was doing, where he was and with whom. If the image of Bill
appeared together with Draco, then Harry’s whole mediation session would be
lost. He hated that weakness. He hated his jealousy. But he couldn’t help but
feeling that way.

And the fact that Sirius had thought best to cut any contacts with the outside
world was another thing driving him nuts. He wanted to get in touch with Draco
desperately, but he wasn’t allowed to. He was quite surprised at how strong
his feelings were. He didn’t think he was so much in love. It took him some
time apart for him to realise just how much he needed Draco in his life.

“Everything’s beautiful here, isn’t it?” Sirius asked as he saw Harry
staring at the landscape beneath them.

“Yes,” answered Harry without looking at his godfather.

“But you aren’t thinking about the landscape, are you?” asked Sirius
already knowing the answer.

Harry sighed wearily. “My mind is somewhere else. I can’t help it. It’s
driving me crazy, believe me.”

“Well, kiddo, you’d better start focusing on what you have to do, otherwise
we won’t be able to leave so soon. Tei Pei is quite a patient man. He’ll
wait forever if you want him to. But you don’t have that much time, Harry. Not
if you want to go back and be with the ones you love. I know it’s hard on you,
but try as hard as you might to concentrate and clear your mind.”

Harry looked up at Sirius with a sulked expression. “And how am I supposed to
do that? Isn’t Tei Pei the guy who is supposed to help me clear my goddamn
head? If I could do that alone, I wouldn’t be here.”

“This place is designed for our inner peace,” Sirius explained. “But you
have to do your part, too.”

“Was it difficult for you?” Harry asked.

“Very.” Sirius sat by his side and heaved a sigh. “Everything was such a
mess. But Tei Pei really helped me. I was even able to marry Severus, so I guess
we could give the old man some credit, huh?” he joked.

“How long did it take for you to heal?”

“About a year or so.”

“A year!” Harry’s eyes widen. “It’s too much…”

“That’s why I told you to do your best, Harry. You’re allowed to think
about your beloved ones. It’s a must actually. It helps you, but only if you
use their images as a positive reward. Think that as soon as you’re finished
here, you’ll be able to go home, to go to him. Try focusing on you for the
time being,” advised Sirius. “You need discipline in order to heal
yourself.”

“It’d be a lot easier if Master Yoda was more helpful,” said Harry
frustrated.

“He’ll help when he feels that you’re ready. But in the mean time…”

“Be patient, right?”

“Yes.”

“All right.” Harry took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Go away so I
can concentrate. I’ll leave this place in no time. And if Draco is with Bill
by the time I come back, I’ll kill him.”

Sirius smiled heartily at his godson. “I’m sure he’ll be waiting for
you.”

‘He’d better be’, thought Harry, trying not to think too much about Bill
and Draco together. He would rather think about the warm way that Draco would
welcome him when he returned from Tibet.



                                Kapitel 41: 41.
                                ---------------


41.
Draco looked at his watch and made a run for Level Ten. Lucius’ trial had
started half an hour ago. He had overslept and missed the time, all because the
night before had been a living nightmare. He had kept himself awake for the
longest time lost in horrible thoughts of his father being released from
prison.

He didn’t have as much faith in The Wizengamot as Hermione had. Everybody knew
that they hadn’t been the same since Dumbledore passed away five years ago.
There were many rumours running through the corridors of the Ministry that the
prestigious wizard high court of law was rotten. And the proof to that was the
fact that those foolish old people had given Lucius the opportunity to have a
second trial.

Draco didn’t want to be pessimistic, but he should be ready for the worst.
After all, Lucius could be very persuasive when he wanted to. And the moment he
saw Hermione’s worried expression as he got closer to Courtroom Ten, he knew
everything was over and lost.

“Hermione?” he asked, afraid of her answer.

She sighed dejectedly. “I’m so sorry, Draco… I still don’t how it
happened…”

“Is he…?”

“After hearing Lucius’ good behaviour report in prison, they’ve decided to
mitigate his sentence. He’ll leave Azkaban and be under house arrest for three
more years,” she told him dully as if she still couldn’t believe it was
true. “I don’t understand… I mean… What were they thinking? His initial
sentence was thirty years in Azkaban without parole. Now they’ve abated it for
three years! And under house arrest!” She was furious now. “How could they?
It’s obvious that Lucius bought the whole lot! Or perhaps he threatened them
with something. It wouldn’t be the first time. This is so terrible…”

Draco barely registered the rest of her inflamed speech as she went on. His mind
had gone blank. He knew that the outcome would be something like that. He should
have been prepared to hear such dreadful news. Wasn’t that the reason why he
had spent the night awake, only going to bed at almost dawn?

Somehow, though, he couldn’t stop shaking.

Lucius Malfoy deserved to spend a life sentence in prison for the crimes he had
committed. Had The Wizengamot just forgotten about all the bad things his father
had done just because he had behaved properly in prison? Did they really think
that Lucius would just sit quietly at home and serve his sentence until the end
instead of just vanishing from the face of the earth?

Draco most certainly did not believe Lucius would linger for too long after
being transferred to the Manor. Narcissa had probably left everything ready for
his father’s quick getaway from England.

If only Harry was there with him. But another week had passed by without any
news from him.

Draco shook his head and called himself stupid. Why was he thinking about Harry
anyway? He was no damsel in distress. He was an Auror, and one of the best. He
could take care of himself pretty well. He just needed to remain calm.

“Draco, are you ok?” asked Hermione, touching his shoulder slightly.

“Yes,” he answered absent-mindedly. Of course he wasn’t ok. His evil
father had just been freed. Draco had thought himself relatively safe with
Lucius locked up in prison, but now Lucius was free to plot the end of his life
with his evil mother.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Narcissa thanking the president of the
Wizengamot profusely. Draco’s lips curled in a bitter smile, and he wondered
how much his parents had paid for the mitigation of Lucius’ sentence. He felt
his stomach turn as Narcissa’s sharp gaze met his.

The feeling of illness increased as his mother walked elegantly towards him.

“Draco, darling,” she said docilely. “I’m glad you could make it. Have
you heard the wonderful news?”

“Yes,” snarled Draco unable to say anything else. He felt like puking on her
expensive pair of high style white boots.

“Your father will be home tonight. He wants you to be there with me to welcome
him appropriately. I’m sure you’ll come, won’t you? After all, you’ve
already created enough problems for our family because of your rebel spirit,”
she said, her voice pure venom. “I’m sure you’ve already realised what’s
best for you right now. Your father will be very pleased with your presence. He
won’t…” She stopped suddenly and glanced at Hermione with disgust.
Hermione’s presence made her nose twitch as if Narcissa had just smelled
something bad. Then she turned her back to Draco’s partner and went on with a
lower tone, “Like I was saying, as soon as your father arrives, I’ll give
him a detailed report about you, Draco. He wasn’t very happy with that St.
Mungo’s photograph. You already know that. However… I’m ready to be
lenient on you if you come back home like the obedient son that you used to
be.”

She leaned forward and kissed his cheeks. Draco clutched his fists but didn’t
move away.

“I’ll see you later,” she said, and left accompanied by two other members
of The Wizengamot.

Draco’s eyes followed her until she reached the elevator. He felt a soft touch
on his arm, and turned to his partner with a troubled look.

“You must leave your apartment immediately,” she demanded.

Draco made a face. “I’ve already told you, dear partner, that I won’t
leave my home.”

“But Draco, your father will–”

“He’ll leave the country, that’s for sure.” Draco ran his fingers
through his hair. “I can’t let that happen. I’ll stop him. If I can prove
that he’s trying to flee, then he’ll be sent back to Azkaban.”

It was easier said than done, and Draco knew that pretty well. It was also very
risky. So far, Lucius had spared his life because Draco was his only son. But
how long would that last? His father had made it clear in the past that he would
hurt Draco as much as he could if it were for the good of the Malfoy family.
Perhaps Lucius hadn’t acted on that St. Mungo’s photography before because
he hadn’t had access to it until recently. But now that his father had it in
his possession as legitimate proof of Draco’s treachery, he wouldn’t go easy
on him. Especially now that everybody was talking about the affair between Draco
and the famous Harry Potter.

“Let’s put together a team of Aurors to maintain strict vigilance on your
father,” Hermione suggested. “I know The Wizengamot has already assigned two
Hit Wizards to be with him all the time, but–”

“Only two?” Draco cut across her, stunned. “Merlin! My father did buy them
all. This is preposterous! It’s a scandal! The Minister should intervene!”

“I know.” She patted him on the back. “But the only thing we can do now is
keep a closer watch on the Malfoy Manor using people from our staff. I’ll go
back to the office right away to–”

“No,” he interrupted her once more. “You will do no such thing. You’d be
violating orders, and they might accuse you of running over the Magical Law
Enforcement Squad. You can’t jeopardise your career just because of me.”

“But Draco, I’ve never cared for breaking a few rules if it were for the
good of the cause and for what I thought was just,” she said passionately.
“You aren’t only my partner, but also my friend. I’m afraid of what your
father might do to you now.”

“Are you implying that I can’t take care of myself?” he asked, offended.

“Of course not! But I know the devastating effect your parents have on your
sanity.”

“I’m not a child anymore, Hermione. I’ll face Lucius without fear, and
I’ll do it alone. Don’t interfere,” he warned her. “This is personal.
I’m the one who’s supposed to finish this once and for all.”

“It isn’t just about you! It’s about the whole wizarding world. Perhaps
Lucius isn’t as bad as Voldemort, but he is bad. Or have you forgotten about
the things he did to me, to Ginny, to the Weasley family and to Harry? God. If
only Harry was here… Maybe we should try contacting him…”

“No!” he exclaimed. “Leave Harry out of this. Besides, there’s no way to
contact him. I don’t need his help. I’ll be fine on my own.”

“You’re just mad at Harry for not contacting you! That’s why you don’t
want his help.” She was almost pulling out her hair in desperation. “Draco,
listen to reason! Why can’t you ask for help? If you don’t want Harry to
know, then at least let me help you! You can’t face your father alone!”

“Watch me,” he snarled, turning on his heels and walking away.

Hermione was left behind with her heart in her mouth, but with the certainty
that she wouldn’t just sit around and do nothing. Draco would have backup
whether he wanted to or not.

--

Harry was learning to control his fears slowly. And the fact that he was
becoming quite good at it still wasn’t enough to stop his bad dreams. He
didn’t dream of Sirius falling through the veil anymore. After all, Sirius was
there with him. But he still had nightmares of his parents’ deaths, and he
still cried every time Remus left Harry’s room in Hogwarts to face his
horrible destiny.

Sometimes he dreamed of Draco, but these dreams were of a totally – and
pleasantly – different nature. They were usually wet dreams where Harry had
his hands pinned on the bed as he was mercilessly kissed, teased and fucked by
his lover. Other times it was Harry’s turn to bite, lick, suck and pound Draco
against the mattress.

But this dream was new to him. He was standing outside of what seemed to be
Draco’s building, and everywhere around him was deserted. Suddenly, it became
very dark, and there was an explosion in the sixth floor. Harry’s heart almost
came out of his mouth. Savage flames and a big cloud of smoke began to pour out
of the blasted window. A shout got stuck in Harry’s throat, and he felt
paralysed. He tried to tell himself that it was only a nasty nightmare, so he
needn’t worry. Nothing was real.

Even so, he feared what was about to come next since he didn’t have a script
for this particular scene.

The front door of the building burst open, and Draco came through it stumbling
on the steps. As he fell to the ground, Harry hurried to help him, but realised
he couldn’t touch Draco. The blonde wasn’t even aware of his presence.

“Draco!” Harry tried to call his attention, but the blonde didn’t notice
him. He just picked himself up from the ground, and looked behind him quickly
with his wand at the ready.

Harry covered his mouth with one of his hands as he watched the blood running
non-stop down Draco’s face. The blonde’s clothes were all torn to pieces. He
had a nasty wound on his left arm and a horrible cut in his belly.

Harry repeated over and over in his head that it was only a bad dream. It
wasn’t really happening. Soon he would wake up and everything would be over.

Someone else came out of the building, pointed a wand at Draco, and then
shouted, “Give it up, Draco! You’re finished!”

“Never! I’ll never give up,” snarled Draco. “You can go to hell,
Johnson!”

Harry saw a thread of green light coming from the stranger’s wand toward
Draco. He woke up screaming and panting before the green light of ‘Avada
Kedrava’ could hit his lover. Harry sat on his bed with his heart racing, and
he placed a hand on it as if that alone would help it get back to normal. He
took a while to recover, and when he finally did, he ran to Sirius’ room and
shook him until his godfather’s eyes opened widely.

“Harry? What? What’s the matter?” Sirius asked, preoccupied.

“I’ve just had a dream… a horrible bad dream. I’ve never had it
before,” Harry began to explain quickly between gasps. “Draco was in it, and
he was hurt. Someone was trying to kill him. What does it mean? Is it a
premonition? Or is it something that has already happened? I must know at
once!”

“Harry, calm down!” Sirius exclaimed, placing his hands on Harry’s
shoulder gently. “Take a deep breath first.”

“No time for that. I have to contact him,” Harry said agitatedly.

“Wait. It was only a bad dream, right? It wasn’t real. Why do you think
it’s a premonition?” Sirius asked.

“I dunno. I just… I feel this pressure in my heart… I know something is
about to happen, or it has already happened,” Harry said almost on the verge
of despair.

“Harry, you aren’t making any sense. Just calm down and…”

“NO!” Harry shouted, moving away from Sirius. “You don’t get it. I have
to make sure he’s ok. Perhaps it was just a bad dream. But I won’t be able
to rest until I’m certain of it. I need to leave this place. NOW!”

Sirius bit his lower lip. “Ok. Let’s suppose that something has happened, or
is about to happen. Even if you leave now, you won’t make it in time to
prevent whatever is going to happen. Think rationally, Harry. You can’t leave.
Not now. You’re making progress! You need to stay here.”

Harry shook his head in disbelief. “So I should just stay here and save myself
while Draco gets killed?”

“It was only a dream!” Sirius exclaimed.

“IT WASN’T! And if it was, I have to make sure! Aren’t you listening to
me? Jesus! I don’t give a fuck about my progress! Draco is more important to
me than anything. I really miss him. You know that. I thought I wouldn’t miss
him this much, but I do. And if something bad is happening to him, I need to
help him. I can’t just stay here and do nothing. It might be all just a silly
bad dream, but even so… Please, Sirius! Help me.”

Sirius sighed, defeated. Because he couldn’t stand to see his godson’s eyes
flicker with such desperation, he decided to help him.

“Ok. But let’s not be drastic,” Sirius said, getting up from the bed and
putting on his cloak. “I’ll ask for Tei Pei’s permission to get in touch
with the outside world. That was how I contacted Severus when we first got
here,” Sirius explained. “Don’t worry, kiddo. If your lover is really in
trouble, we’ll leave. But before that, please try to relax a little or
you’ll have a nervous breakdown.”

Harry took a deep breath to try to sooth his heart, but it didn’t work much.
He was too nervous. He followed Sirius to Tei Pei’s chambers with his heart in
his mouth. He prayed for Draco to be ok because if something had happened to his
lover while he was away, he wouldn’t forgive himself.

--

Draco had almost lost his nerve when he was given notice of his father’s new
sentence. A small part of him was still hoping for a change of mind in The
Wizengamot. Those old fools would soon realise their mistakes and order the Hit
Wizards to lock up Lucius in Azkaban again. But nothing had changed by the end
of the day.

Draco remained in his office for a while, ignoring the sideway looks Hermione
kept throwing him and thinking about what to do next. Should he go to the Manor
and face his parents once and for all? He should. He knew that much. But he was
afraid. He didn’t know what he was supposed to say to them. Confronting Lucius
Malfoy was even scarier than confronting Narcissa, and that was saying a lot.

“Draco?” he heard Hermione call. “It’s almost seven. You never stay
after six. Do you want me to accompany you home?”

He stared at her with his eyebrows rose. “What am I, eight? I’m not a kid,
Hermione. For Merlin’s sake! I haven’t gone home yet because I still have
stuff to do.”

“It’s such a lame excuse, and you know it! Do you think I’m such a
fool?”

Draco sighed. “No. I’m just thinking about a few things… I’m definitely
not afraid of going home if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Your father is probably at the Manor by now. Are you going there?”

Draco shook his head. “No. I need to think of a strategy first. I can’t just
show up there without anything hidden up my sleeve. You want to help me,
right?”

“Of course!” she exclaimed.

“Then try to find out who took that picture of Harry and me in St.
Mungo’s.”

“I’m already on it,” she said. “Seriously. I’ve already asked Karl to
investigate this for me.”

Draco smiled feebly. “You really are something.”

“Actually, Draco, I’m doing a lot more than that. I’m trying to speed up
every other case against your father, especially the non-paid tax files and the
money laundry he’s doing for some politicians – both muggles and wizards,”
she informed him, to his utter surprise.

Draco knew Hermione was very efficient, but he didn’t know she would do that
kind of thing for him. He was very touched. He regretted the harsh way he had
treated her ever since that morning.

“You don’t have any documents against your father, do you?” she asked.

He made a face. “If I had those, I would have handed them over to the Ministry
a long time ago.”

“Well, I just thought I should ask…” she excused herself.

“It’s ok.” He stared at her with gratitude shining in his blue eyes.
“Thank you. I don’t deserve your kindness after the way I’ve treated you
this morning.”

She smiled amiably. “I forgive you. I know you’re under a lot of stress, and
I know how hard it is for you to ask for help. I was afraid that you’d get mad
at me for jumping ahead of you… I thought you’d accuse me of meddling in
your life.”

“Well, you are!” he pointed out with a soft chuckle. “But it’s for a
good cause. A good – and lost – cause,” he added miserably.

“Oh, Draco, don’t be like this. You know… We could still try to contact
Harry…”

“No!” he cut her off quickly. “I wouldn’t know how anyway. So… no!
Don’t even think about it.”

“You don’t want to ask for his help, do you?”

“I can fight my own battles. I started this mess. I let myself be photographed
that day in St. Mungo’s. But it isn’t just about the picture. Everything in
my life…” he paused for a moment. His emotions were almost overflowing him.
“Everything led me to this moment. The final confrontation between my parents
and I will finally happen. And unfortunately, I have to do this alone. I can’t
ask for Harry’s help, nor can I ask for yours. It isn’t because I don’t
want to. It’s because I can’t. This is about me, and I’m the only one who
can solve this.”

“I’m just worried about you. I don’t want you to get hurt,” she said
heartily.

“But I will Hermione, whether you want it or not. I will. It doesn’t matter
what results from this… In the end, I will get hurt.” He leaned his head on
the back of the chair and stared at the ceiling. “Just promise me that
you’ll avenge me if I get myself killed.”

“Draco…”

“Lock up the bastard for good,” he went on.

She opened her mouth to tell him to stop being so negative, but she just sighed
and stayed quiet. Draco was only being realistic. Indeed, no matter the outcome,
he would get hurt pretty badly.

“I promise I’ll lock your father up in Azkaban again if something happens to
you. And I promise I’ll have him back in Azkaban even if he doesn’t do
anything to you,” she declared.

He smiled at her. “Thanks. Well…” Draco stood up, put on his cloak, and
then picked up his briefcase. “I’m going now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Are you sure you don’t want anyone to walk you home?” she asked.

He rolled his eyes. “No, mommy, I don’t need anyone walking me home. I know
the way pretty well.”

“I’m concerned about your safety.”

“My father wouldn’t be so dumb as to attack me so soon.”

“Just be careful, Draco. You never know.”

“Don’t worry, I will.” He winked at her. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

When Draco left the Ministry he decided to walk home instead of Apparating next
to his building. It was a cool night, but he needed some fresh air to clear up
his thoughts.

The first thing he would do when he got home was write to his demented mother
and buy himself more time to deal with the fact that he would have to face
Lucius and Narcissa all at once. A lot of dirt from the past would be brought
up, so he needed to be prepared.

Seven blocks later he got to his apartment. He paused at the entrance of the
building to pick up his keys, and he suddenly felt eyes on him. He turned around
slowly, his hand landing on his wand to make it ready for use. But he saw
nothing except a pair of lovers kissing on the other side of the street, an old
man walking with his poodle, and two adolescents chatting animatedly as they
passed by him.

Perhaps he was just being paranoid, but somehow he couldn’t let go of the
feeling that someone was watching him.

He arrived at his floor and walked towards the door of his flat with his whole
body tensed. He put the key into the keyhole and the door opened up on its own.
Draco froze. His door had already been opened, and not by him. He took a step
back involuntarily, and then reached for his wand. But it was too late. A hand
came from behind him and muffled his mouth.

Draco struggled to break free with all his might, but he was pushed inside his
apartment violently. He cursed himself for being so distracted and not noticing
the danger around him. The situation got even worse when he spotted two other
men pointing their wands at him.

“Sit down, Draco, darling,” said a voice all too familiar to Draco; one that
sent chills down his spine.



                                Kapitel 42: 42.
                                ---------------


42.
“Sit down, Draco, darling,” said a voice all too familiar to Draco; one that
sent chills down his spine.

Although Johnson – his sadistic and abusive ex-boyfriend – was right behind
him, Draco held himself together pretty well given the circumstances. Three
against one was anything but fair. But his years of experience as an Auror had
taught him how to look at things objectively, and then find a way out from
there. He allowed his wand to be taken away from him and didn’t react when he
was pushed to the couch. He stared into his ex-boyfriend’s eyes with
loathing.

“Haven’t I told you to sit down?” asked Johnson coldly.

“I didn’t realise it was an order,” answered Draco with the same icy
tone.

Johnson got near him with a smirk, and he stroked Draco’s face with the tip of
his wand. Draco winced involuntarily. He wondered what had made him fall for
Johnson so many years ago. He was handsome with his long black hair and blue
eyes. But on the inside he was rotten and ugly.

“Everything I say is an order,” said his ex-boyfriend softly. “Should I
remind you what it was like when you disobeyed me? Should I punish you the way I
used to?”

Draco clenched his fists and didn’t flinch this time when he said with a
snarl, “Why don’t you try it? I’m not the same pathetic boy from
before!”

“Oh, you bite now!” Johnson felt a thrilled of desire running through his
body. He rather liked when his prey tried to resist him. “How interesting!
Your whining could barely make me hard in the past. But the look of fear mixed
with hatred that I spotted in your beautiful blue eyes back then used to turn me
on right away. I’d like to see that look again. Give me a motive, Draco.
That’s all I need to rape your guts out.”

Draco gulped, but he didn’t look away. “Like I said, you can try. But I’ll
fucking kill you this time!”

Johnson gave him his maniac laughter, the one that used to be the presage of the
terrible things to come. Draco was filled with bad memories of his days living
with Johnson. Days where he was a mere slave of that bastard’s sick sexual
fantasies and abusive behaviour. When he had finally gathered the courage to
flee from Johnson’s house, he had hoped to never see that man again. He should
have known that his father would hire Johnson to do his dirty work again.
Clearly, Lucius still didn’t have the nerve to finish his son off with his own
bare hands.

“Why did he send you?” Draco asked. “I haven’t sent him my message
yet.”

“Whom are you talking about?”

“My father. Why did he send you here so soon? He doesn’t even know what I
have decided yet.”

“I haven’t spoken to your father in a long time, Draco,” Johnson said,
taking Draco by surprise. “I’m not here because of him.”

“Then who? Who hired you?” Draco asked.

“Your sweet Aunt Bellatrix,” answered Johnson with a smirk.

Draco’s blood ran cold. That news was like a blow to his stomach. It wasn’t
his father, but his aunt Bellatrix who wanted him dead. So Bellatrix was alive.
Rumours were that she had died together with her husband in a fight against
three Aurors four years ago, but her body had never been found. Draco had always
had trouble believing that fact, and he and a few colleges had tried to track
her down for a long time without any success, finally giving up last year. If
only he knew... He should have tried harder to locate her.

“It seems that she took possession of a very interesting photograph of yours
while she was throwing away a few items that belonged to her dead husband. She
doesn’t know how he got it, or why he never used it... But now that she knows,
she’s very displeased with you, who used to be her favourite nephew. She had
that picture published as a warning, Draco. A warning that someone knew what a
bloody traitor you were. Saving Harry Potter wasn’t the smartest of your
moves.”

“This is ridiculous!” Draco exclaimed. “She knew I was a traitor long
before that. Why hasn’t she come after me sooner? Why just now?”

“You’re wrong. Your parents were able to successfully protect your secret
until recently. Nobody knew that you had betrayed the Dark Lord. They all
thought you had chickened out. Bellatrix hated you for it, but not enough to
hunt you down and kill you. Besides, she was on the run herself. As for the
others… Why would they risk everything coming after you? After all, you are an
Auror. They know better. But if they’d known that you’d worked for the
Order, then the story would have been very different.”

Draco trembled at the news. He was utterly shocked to know that his parents had
protected him instead of selling him out. Had he judged Lucius and Narcissa
wrong? He shook his head. No, he hadn’t. Lucius had paid Johnson to destroy
him once. His parents weren’t nice people. But still... Draco was feeling
terribly lost and confused.

“Where is Bellatrix? She isn’t the type of woman who sends minions to do her
job,” Draco pointed out.

“I’m not here to kill you, just take you to her. Of course, she did give me
full liberty to screw you as many times as I want,” Johnson smiled evilly.
“But the pleasure of killing you will be totally hers.”

Draco shivered slightly as Johnson got closer. He spat on his ex-boyfriend’s
face and received a violent punch in return. He felt his left cheek swell.
Johnson pinned Draco’s hands on the couch and pushed himself hard against him.
Draco struggled like mad to break free, but the more he tried, the more he
seemed to set Johnson on fire. His shirt was torn to pieces, and the cold tip of
Johnson’s wand touched his chin.

“Keep fighting me, Draco. It’s making me hard and ready to fuck you,”
Johnson whispered in Draco’s ear, licking it afterwards. Draco felt like
throwing up. He moaned with disgust, which only made Johnson laugh harder and
thrust against him faster.

“You’ll do me in front of them?” Draco asked, looking at Johnson’s
thugs.

“Of course! It will be like old times. You remember, don’t you? The orgies I
used to set just for my sweet blonde princess.” Johnson smiled horribly, and
Draco felt sick at the reminder. “When I’m finally through with you, I’ll
let them have some fun, too,” said Johnson with a smirk.

Draco breathed hard. He needed to act fast, or else he was doomed.
Unfortunately, his old memories wouldn’t let him think straight. He kept
visualising all the abuse he had suffered while living with Johnson, the
constant beating and raping, and then how he had found himself forced to sleep
with men he had never met before for money. All the humiliation and self-hatred
were back again, paralysing him with fear.

He screamed as Johnson made a deep cut in his belly. Strangely, the pain was
what made him focus again. He bit his lower lip hard and shut his eyes tightly.
Even though he was very disturbed, he would try doing wandless magic. It was the
only way to escape from that hell.

“EXPELLIARMUS PER VIM!” Draco shouted.

Johnson was thrown in the direction of his thugs, and they all fell to the
floor. Their wands didn’t fly toward Draco as he had previously intended to,
but at least they flew away from their owners. That gave him time to jump behind
his couch and summon his spare wand. He got down with his hands behind his head
when a flash of light hit his couch and opened a big whole in it.

“Draco, Draco, sweet, beautiful, Draco,” said the voice of Johnson with a
fake softness. “You really haven’t learned anything. When I put my hands on
you, I’ll make you wish you were dead!”

Panting, Draco raised up his head quickly to cast a spell on them. Another flash
of light blew up one of his bookshelves, and Draco prevented it from falling on
top of him with a freezing charm. But he wasn’t fast enough, and a few books
fell on him. One of them hit his head hard and cut one of his eyebrows. The
blood began to run copiously down his cheek. He cursed aloud. He shot another
spell at them blindly, and then another one until both of Johnson’s thugs fell
to the floor unconscious.

“It’s just you and me now, Draco!” shouted Johnson, not so happy at the
moment. “Come out, come out! Let me rip you apart!”

Draco sneered. “I thought only Aunt Bella would have that pleasure!”

“Screw that woman! This is personal! I have more rights on you than her! You
were my property after all! Besides, I won’t finish you off. I’ll just break
you a little.”

“STUPEFY!” Draco sent a stunning spell on his ex-boyfriend’s direction.
Johnson was quick to deflect it and hide. They kept throwing curses and spells
at each other until one of the flashes of light was so strong that it made
everything around them blow up. Draco didn’t know how he found himself alive
as he watched the flames engulfing his furniture. He could barely breathe. He
coughed as the smoke made its way into his lungs, and he dragged himself towards
the front door. Once there, he tried as hard as he could to pick himself up from
the floor and run to the emergency stairs.

When he pushed the front door of the building open, he took a deep breath to
clear his head. Then he took one step forward and stumbled on the few steps
ahead. Strangely, there were no Muggles around. He was the only one on an empty
street. He heard steps behind him, and he quickly stood up and gripped his wand
in his hand firmly. Johnson appeared and shouted, “Give it up, Draco! You’re
finished anyway!”

“Never! I’ll never give up!” snarled Draco. “You can go to hell,
Johnson!”

“Then we’re going together, my dear,” hissed Johnson. “AVADA
KEDRAV–”

“STUPEFY!” shouted someone, hitting Johnson hard. The spell was so strong
that it lifted Johnson from the ground and made him hit the wall behind him.
When he fell, he was unconscious.

Draco looked around and saw Hermione with five other Aurors just a few feet away
from him. He smiled at her, and then collapsed. She ran towards him and
prevented him from falling with difficulty.

“Stupid! I told you to be careful!” she shouted with tears in her eyes.
“An ambulance from St. Mungo’s will arrive any second.”

He just smiled. “I knew you’d come for me, partner. That’s why I wasn’t
worried.”

“Idiot!” she hugged him tightly. “Don’t you ever do that again!”

“Trust me, I won’t,” he panted. “Hermione, my father isn’t the one to
blame for this.”

Her eyes widen. “Then who?”

“Bellatrix. She’s alive,” he managed to say between gasps.

“Oh, my God!” was all Draco registered before passing out.

--

“You look great all wrapped up in bandages, Draco,” said Hermione, coming
through the door of Draco’s room in St. Mungo’s.

Draco, who was resting on the hospital’s bed, made a face. He knew very well
he didn’t look good. A few bruises had already disappeared thanks to the
wonderful and quick process of healing magic, but some wounds would take a few
more hours to heal completely. At least none of them would leave a mark.

He considered himself lucky for coming out of that mess with all of his bones
intact. The best thing of all was that no Muggles had been hurt in the process.
Hermione said that she and the Aurors had cast a spell as soon as they had
arrived on Draco’s street to avoid as much damage as possible. But the Muggles
from his building had heard the explosion. That would bring a lot of headache
for the Obliviators.

He looked at her ready to make a joke à la Draco Malfoy, but he noticed that
something was wrong. Hermione couldn’t keep still; her face was all red and
her eyes were fuming.

“I have some bad news for you,” Hermione said, making him sigh. Of course
there was bad news.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Well, apart from the fact that the Obliviator Quarter is pissed off for
having to work until dawn, and that the rest of the staff is trying really hard
to convince the Muggle news to blame it all on your heater... There’s also the
fact that Johnson didn’t say a word about Bellatrix. He said you two have a
history together, and that you ran away from his house taking a lot of his money
with you. He was just in your apartment to collect said money. While he was
there you reacted badly, hence he had to defend himself and create all that
mess,” she narrated with a scowl. “Given the fact that Jonah likes you so
much,” she continued with a sneer, “he seems to believe in your
ex-boyfriend’s tale.”

Draco sneered. “Let me guess. Jonah now has the excuse he was looking for to
expel me from the Force.”

“He told us to investigate the case, which is totally understandable. But he
asked us to open a file against you, not Johnson Smear.” She looked absolutely
furious. “I can’t believe they’ll just let Smear go, Draco. I tried to
talk to Boss, but he said Jonah wouldn’t listen to him and–”

“It’s perfect. Let Smear go,” interrupted Draco with a throaty voice.

Hermione stared at him as if he had gone insane. “What? Why? Are you nuts? Has
anyone taken a look at your head yet, because I think you have a screw
loose!”

“Let him go. He’ll wait around a few days before going to Bellatrix. Send
someone after him. The only way to get to Bellatrix is through Smear,” Draco
said calmly. Hermione seemed to ponder about it. “He isn’t that smart, you
know? He’ll lead us right to where she is, but we’ll have to be a little
patient. I’m not worried about Smear. I’m worried about Bellatrix. She’s a
crazy bitch. Merlin knows what she’ll do next.”

“It’s kind of a risky plan. Smear is dangerous. He might come after you
again,” she pointed out.

“Probably. But like I said, I’m not worried. I was before, but not now. Now
I know I can keep my cool around him.”

She scowled at him. “How can you say that? You almost died!”

He made a face and almost pulled a muscle. His face still hurt. “Look,
Hermione, I’m thinking of asking my mother about Bellatrix, but I doubt that
she’ll tell me anything unless I sign a paper giving her my soul in return. So
the best plan we’ve got so far is to let Smear free and pray that he’ll lead
us to her.”

“But... You told me your parents didn’t have anything to do with this. So
maybe... Maybe they’ll help you.”

“No. Don’t raise your hopes too high. I do admit, though, that I was
surprised at what Smear said about them. He said they protected me while
Voldemort was still alive.” Draco’s eyes flickered. “I’ve never really
thought about this. I’ve never thought the Death Eaters saw me as coward. A
traitor in a way. But they didn’t know I’d helped the Order.”

“Then perhaps you should raise your hopes, Draco,” she said softly. “They
are your parents after all.”

Draco shook his head. “Lucius and Narcissa hate me, Hermione. I don’t see
how this can change unless I go back to be their heir and marry a pureblood
woman. Besides, Smear might be lying about the whole thing. Maybe Bellatrix has
nothing to do with this. Maybe my father is to blame after all.”

“Maybe.” She sighed tiredly. “Well... I’ll keep someone following Smear
24/7. But I still can’t believe Jonah is letting a personal grudge against you
interfere with his judgement. He knows Smear is no good. I’m just so...
frustrated and... pissed off!”

“I think Jonah loves me, that’s why he’s such a bastard to me,” Draco
mocked. “Since he can’t admit that he wants me, he’d rather make my life a
living hell. It’s pretty much what I used to do with Harry.”

She smiled. “That might be true. I heard rumours, you know?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Really? Tell me everything!”

She chuckled. “I’m glad to know you’re ok enough to make jokes, Draco.”

“I have to be. I still need to go after my dear aunt if she really is guilty.
I won’t stop until she’s arrested. I can’t let her... hurt Harry.”

Hermione crossed her arms. “Harry is totally capable of dealing with
Bellatrix. In fact, I’ll bet he’d love to finish her off for what she did
with Sirius. And actually... Sirius would have the time of his life if he knew
she’s alive.”

“But we won’t tell them,” Draco stated with an intense gaze. “This is my
fight, Hermione. Don’t forget that.”

“It’s you I’m worried about, not Harry! Draco... there’s something
else...” She looked down, and her hands trembled a little. Draco didn’t like
that at all.

“You mean there’s more?” He tensed all over.

She nodded slowly. “It’s something that Smear said about you... That was
what put Jonah in alert...”

Now Draco was absolutely petrified. “What did he say?”

“That you used to sell yourself for money,” she said in a feeble voice.
“And that was how he met you...”

Draco’s fingers gripped the sheet under him. He closed his eyes, and his mouth
curled up in a bitter smile. “Isn’t he adorable? And such a big fat
liar!”

“Smear said he has hard evidence against you, and if this is true... You might
be expelled from the Force for good,” she finished. “But I couldn’t
believe him, of course! You’d never...”

That particular piece of news gave rise to varying emotions such as shame,
despair, fury and total humiliation. He felt tears threat to fall, and he
gulped.

“Hermione... The truth is that he made me sell myself for money,” he said
with difficulty, almost choking with tears. She gasped as he went on, “I was
desperate when I met him. I had nowhere to go. No one would accept me because of
my past. So I shamelessly clung to him believing he could save me, and for a
while I actually thought he was the most perfect man on earth. But after a month
he changed completely. He began to be violent and moody. And then he started to
bring his friends home. I was stupid and weak. I was terrified of him. So he
took advantage of that and... he used me for his own sick purposes.” Draco’s
tears ran freely now. “I didn’t want to. I just went along with it because I
didn’t know what to do.”

Hermione, who was also crying, ran towards him and enlaced his trembling body
carefully.

“I’m so sorry, Draco...” she whispered, stroking his back gently. “We
had no idea...”

“I endured it all, but it came to a point where everything was unbearable.
That was when I finally ran away and asked for the Weasleys’ help. I had to
swallow my pride. It was very difficult. But I just couldn’t take all that
abuse anymore. You have to understand that I never did those things willingly. I
didn’t sleep with all those men because I wanted to. He made me. I was too
scared to fight back.”

“I understand. I’m not judging you,” she said softly.

“And that’s why I told you that I can handle him now. I’m not afraid of
him anymore. If he crosses my way again, I’ll kill him.” Draco’s eyes
burned with hate.

She kissed his forehead, and then looked straight into his eyes. “You won’t
turn yourself into a killer just because of him. I won’t let you. And I’ll
make sure he pays for his crimes,” she said firmly. “We’ll...” The ring
of her mobile phone interrupted her. She checked the ID caller, wiped her tears
away, cleared her throat, and then answered it. “Yes, honey. Is there
something wrong? Yes, other than me working at such late hours...” She rolled
her eyes, and Draco smiled behind his tears. “Don’t pressure me, Ron... You
know how it is... Yes... Yes... WHAT? Shit! No. Ok. Of course not! Yes. I know!
Bye!” She hung up rather abruptly.

“What’s wrong?” Draco asked.

She shot him a desperate look. “Ok. Don’t panic. This is actually good!
I’m sure you’ll see it that way.” She smiled nervously. “Just wipe away
your tears, take a deep breath and–” Her mobile rang again. She answered it
quickly, almost dropping it on the floor. “Hello? Harry!” she exclaimed,
making Draco’s heart stop.

He could barely hear what she was saying. All he registered was Harry’s name,
and from then on his mind went blank. When Hermione shoved the little phone on
his face, Draco almost panicked. Why was Harry calling now? Why have he chosen
the worst moment to call? Draco was broken and exhausted. It was true that the
first person to cross his mind when Johnson pointed his wand at him and almost
killed him was Harry. But at the same time, he didn’t want to talk to his
lover. He was angry with him for not bothering to get in touch with him for so
long. And he was also angry with himself for wanting to grab the phone
desperately, just to hear Harry’s voice again and ask him to come back because
he needed him. He didn’t need Harry. He could take care of himself alone. He
had done that forever.

But then he wondered if Harry was calling to tell him that something bad had
happened to him, so he snatched the phone from Hermione and answered it quickly,
“Hi! Are you ok? Has something happened?”

There was what it seemed like an endless period of silence at the other side of
the receiver. Then Harry’s voice said hesitantly, “Erm… No. There’s
nothing wrong here. Actually… I was going to ask you the same thing. I’ve
called home, but no one answered…”

“I went back to my apartment.” Or what’s left of it, he thought bitterly.

“Oh.” Another pause. “I’ve tried your apartment, too. And your cell
phone.” Harry fidgeted the curly line of the phone between his fingers. Now
that he had finally reached Draco, he was feeling embarrassed. He feared he had
overreacted about the nightmare. He sighed deeply, thinking that he was probably
making a fool of himself. When he called Ron after a series of frustrating calls
to his house, Draco’s flat and cell phone, he was positive that something
terrible had happened to Draco.

But then Ron had calmed down his heart a little by telling that, even though
Hermione and Draco had been on a mission, they were ok. They had just gone to
St. Mungo’s because a few people had gotten hurt, but nothing was serious.
There were no additional details. Ron seemed angry with Hermione for spending so
much time working instead of spending more time with him.

When Harry had turned off the connection with Ron, he still pondered if he
should call Hermione or not. In the end, his anxiety had won over his fear of
acting pathetic. He just needed to make sure that everything was ok.

“Draco…” he called softly.

Draco almost melted. He had missed Harry’s hoarse voice so much. “What?”

“Are you all right? Why haven’t you answered your cell phone?” Harry
asked. More than the fear of behaving stupidly, he was deeply worried about
Draco. Ron had eased his preoccupation a little, but not enough to relieve his
heart.

“The battery’s dead,” Draco lied, resting his head on the fluffy pillow
and sighing.

“Oh. What happened? Ron told me that you and Hermione were on a mission that
went bad, but that you two are ok.”

Draco gulped. “Yeah, it’s true.”

“What kind of mission was it?”

“Didn’t Ron say anything?” Draco asked back carefully.

“He doesn’t know. He seems pissed off with Hermione for not telling him
anything.”

“Well… It was just a silly mission,” Draco said, swallowing hard. Hermione
looked at him sympathetically. “You know… just a few drunken wizards making
a fuss in a Muggle pub. It was a mess. The Obliviator Headquarters are still
trying to fix it. Somebody threw a bottle at me and I’ve cut my eyebrow… But
I’m ok now! As good as new thanks to the wonderful Healer Elisabeth Pulp,”
he added quickly and nervously.

“Really?” Harry didn’t seem to believe in him. “It was just a pub
fight?”

“Yes.”

“And you’ve only cut your eyebrow,” Harry stated as if to make sure of
it.

“Yes. No need to worry.” Draco sighed heavily.

“What?”

“What what?” Draco asked with a frown, and then winced from the pain.

“You sighed… You seemed to be in pain.”

“I’m tired. Actually, I’m exhausted,” said Draco. “Why did you call,
Harry? It’s almost midnight here. Isn’t it… what… five A.M. out there?
Why now?”

“Are you mad at me?” Harry asked softly.

Draco melted once again. He couldn’t stay angry with Harry for much longer. He
wanted to, but now that he was finally talking to Harry, all of his anger seemed
to be vanishing away. Besides, he had just been through a lot of stress. He was
feeling fragile and needy.

“Of course I’m mad, Harry,” he said, trying not to sound too pathetic.
“You haven’t even tried to contact me since you left!” His complaint
should have sounded manlier, but instead it came out as a wife nagging his
husband.

“I’m sorry. I… You know, I guess Tei Pei wouldn’t have forbidden me to
call you…”

“Tei Pei?”

“Yes, my Master Yoda. He’s a Buddhist monk and a wizard. He’s quite an
interesting fellow! Just looking at him makes one feel so peaceful. Anyway,
Sirius told me to forget about the outside world and just focus on my task here,
which meant no contact with you or anyone else. So… I’m sorry if I took his
words so literally. But…”

“It’s ok,” Draco said against his better judgement. He wanted to tell
Harry to go to hell, but he just shrugged. “I understand. You’re there to
heal yourself.”

“I am. But… I… I really miss you. More than I thought I would. More than
you can even imagine,” Harry said in a whisper.

Draco’s heart skipped a beat. He stared at Hermione and silently asked her to
leave him alone for a while. She seemed to get the clue as she saw how flushed
Draco seemed to be all of a sudden. She giggled as she exited the room, and
Draco rolled his eyes.

“Are we being sappy now, Potter?” Draco said with a sneer. But if Harry had
been there, he would see that his sneer didn’t reach his eyes.

“Don’t turn this into a joke, Malfoy. You know how hard it is for me to say
these kinds of things,” said Harry a little annoyed.

“I know.” Draco gave another sigh. “I miss you, too. More than you can
imagine. How did you call me? I thought you have gone to an isolated area, far
away from civilisation.”

“I am. There are no phone lines here. But Tei Pei is a hell of a brilliant
wizard. He owns an enchanted phone! It stays disconnected most of the time,
though. He let me use it now because I told him it was an emergency.”

Draco froze. “Really? Harry… Why have you suddenly decided to call me?”

“I had a dream… Actually, a horrible nightmare… about you,” Harry said
with difficulty.

“What did you dream about exactly?” Draco asked in a whisper. He had trouble
holding the phone because his hands had began to tremble.

Harry sighed. “I dreamt that your apartment had blown up and that you were
hurt pretty bad. You were covered in blood, and there was this man casting Avada
Kedrava on you. I panicked. I couldn’t do anything to help you. Then I woke up
and got all stressed out.” Harry gave a little laugh. “I feel silly now.
Sirius warned me that I was probably overreacting… But I just had to call you
and assure myself that you were all right. I was really worried.”

Draco’s eyes filled with tears again. Harry had dreamed about what had just
happened to him and had been so worried that he hadn’t rested until he could
finally talk to Draco. The blond was touched. It was more than that. His love
was overflowing him.

“Thank you, Harry,” he said after regaining his voice.

“Are you crying?” asked Harry surprised.

“No! Of course not!” exclaimed Draco, wiping his tears away and trying not
to sound so girly.

“Are you really ok? Are you telling me the truth about the pub fight? Was that
all that happened?” Harry insisted. There was an alarm whistling in his head
non-stop. Somehow he knew Draco was hiding something from him.

“I’m ok, Harry,” Draco assured him with a feeble voice.

“You know… If you want me to… I can leave this place right now,” Harry
said, making Draco tremble even more. “If there’s something wrong… just
tell me. I’ll be there in two or three days.”

Draco cursed Harry in silence for tempting him like that. It was obvious that
Draco wanted him back as soon as possible. His needy and selfish part wanted to
tell Harry that he needed cuddling, that everything was terrible and that he
needed Harry by his side more than at any other time. If he had told Harry what
had really happened, he was sure that Harry would have left Tibet in a matter of
seconds.

But Draco couldn’t do that. Firstly, because Harry had gone to Tibet not on
vacation, but to heal himself. Secondly, because Draco didn’t want to play the
damsel in distress. He was capable of facing things alone, or so he was trying
to convince himself. He couldn’t just rely on Harry all the time.

“I’m fine,” he told Harry. Inside, his heart was screaming at him for
being so stupidly altruistic. “What about you? Making any progress?”

“Yes, a little. Not as much as I’d like to,” Harry answered rather
melancholically. “But Tei Pei says I’m doing fine. He’s worse than
Dumbledore, you know? It’s impossible to get anything from him. He’s quite
mysterious. But I’m enjoying my stay here. It’s beautiful. I wish you were
here.”

“I wish I was there with you, too. Do you have any idea when are you coming
back?” Draco asked hopefully.

“No…” said Harry dejectedly. “Sirius told me it might take a year
to–”

“A year?” Draco almost jumped from the bed.

“Yes. But I’m trying as hard as I can to figure out what’s going on with
me. I hope I won’t take that long. Are you going to wait for me?”

“I don’t know…” Draco answered with a pout.

“Oh, really?” Harry didn’t like the sound of that. “Have you broken up
with Bill properly?”

Draco smiled. “No. And now that I know you won’t be back for a year…”

“Haha!” Harry gripped the curly line of the phone. “Don’t even joke
about it.”

“Oh, but it’s fun! I like to irritate you. It’s my revenge for you not
calling me until now.” Draco chuckled, and after a few seconds he heard Harry
chuckling as well.

“I’m sorry about that. I’ll try to invent an emergency every week so Tei
Pei will allow me to use his phone.”

Draco chuckled even more. “And I promise to break up with Bill once you do
that.”

“Seriously. Have you ended things with him?” Harry sounded anxious.

“Yes,” said Draco slightly flushed, as he remembered the way he had almost
let Bill ravish him. “I’m single now.”

“No, you aren’t! You have me now, even though I’m miles away at the
moment…”

“So you’re my boyfriend, Mr. Straight Guy?”

Harry laughed. “I guess I am.” There was a pause, and then Harry said shyly,
“Draco, I love you. I’m pretty sure of this now. Being away from you is
really hard.”

Draco felt his heart ballooning with happiness. “I love you, too.”

Harry’s words had just given him the strength he needed to keep on fighting
his battle.



                                Kapitel 43: 43.
                                ---------------


43.
When Draco arrived at Malfoy Manor, he felt a variety of emotions. Strangely,
most of his memories weren’t as bad as he thought they would be. He had spent
some quality time in the place. All of his whims had been fulfilled and
satisfied by his mother and father when he was little. He felt something
weighting in his heart as he remembered how Lucius had taught him how to fly at
a very young age; how his mother had taught him how to be a perfect little
gentleman and how to always keep his head high no matter the situation. Narcissa
had also taught him his sense of fashion and style. She had pampered him quite a
lot and presented him with the best there was in both the Wizarding and Muggle
world.

It was funny to think about those things now. He actually thought that once he
saw Malfoy Manor again, he would be overtaken by horrible memories, the type
that would scare him away. But the opposite was happening. He did have good
memories of that beautiful and ancient castle-like mansion where generations of
Malfoys had lived.

And the most striking thing of all was that he actually had good memories of his
parents. When he was just a kid with no knowledge of the world, that place had
been his private kingdom, and his mother and father had been heroes in his eyes.
Narcissa had always posed as the most elegant woman Draco had ever seen, and
continued to be up unto this date. His father had been the example of good
manners and outstanding classiness. Draco had worshiped them like Gods and had
hoped to grow up to be just like them.

But then, his wonderful childhood memories had been overthrown by reality.

It was true that Draco had been treated like a little prince until the age of
eleven. He had reigned absolutely in his house, parading around like a true
wizarding aristocracy member who had the world in his hands and not even the sky
as a limit, never questioning his parents’ authority because they seemed to
know what was best for him.

It all changed, though, when Harry Potter came to his life. After their
encounter in Madam Malkin’s, Draco’s life had taken a turn. After Harry, it
was all about competing with him, beating him in everything, making the four
eyed boy suffer and experience what was like to come from an inferior species.
Lucius had encouraged Draco to hate Potter with all his might. And because Harry
had treated him with such disdain, it wasn’t very difficult for Draco to find
reasons to loathe him.

It wasn’t complicated to keep his hate for Harry intact over the years. What
became very hard for Draco was to deny his true self. And that wasn’t all. His
parents’ constant demands for him to be perfect had driven him insane. Every
time Draco went back to the Manor for summer vacation, Lucius seemed more and
more disappointed with him, and he always pointed out new flaws in Draco’s
character.

His mother had indulged him for a longer period, but after it was proven that
her little doll had a will of his own and not hers, she had become as vicious in
her comments and actions as Lucius. His parents had been so disgusted with him
that they had even hired Johnson Smear to lure Draco into a false romance only
to make his life a living hell. Lucius had expected Draco to come back to the
Manor begging to be accepted again. He had underestimated Draco’s strength and
Severus’ compassion.

It was Severus who came to his rescue when he was broken and in despair. Severus
had introduced him to the care of Molly and Arthur Weasley before disappearing
from the wizarding world after Black. And for that, Draco would be eternally
grateful to him. It still stunned Draco how the Weasleys had accepted him so
freely and warmly, considering the horrible way the Malfoys had treated them for
so many decades, if not centuries.

Draco had found his way. He had made peace with himself. And he would be damned
if he let his parents mess up what he had built over the years, which was why he
was in front of the Manor in the first place. It would be the final
confrontation.

He felt a soft touch on his back and he turned around with a feeble smile.

“Are you ready?” asked Hermione.

Draco heaved a sigh. “I’d be lying to you if I said that I am. If I could,
I’d postpone this moment forever. But,” he said, licking his dry lips, “I
know I cannot drag this on eternally. I must do this.”

“You don’t have to do this alone, though,” she reminded him gently. “I
can go in with you.”

Draco shook his head. “It won’t be pretty inside, Hermione.”

“I never thought it would,” she declared. “Which is exactly why you could
use some support.”

“No, this is my battle. I have to face this on my own,” he said
determinedly. “Thanks for the offer, though.”

“Well, if you need me, I’ll be right here. Just shoot a warning spell
through one of the windows.”

“I will,” he said, and she smiled at him reassuringly. He took a deep breath
and walked towards the Manor’s front door.

There were no Hit Wizards around, which did not surprise him. His father had
probably paid them to keep their distance and just pretend to be watching him
every once in a while.

He stared at the massive wooden door carved with snakes and the Malfoy crest.
Then he undid the wards that protected it one by one, thankful that his parents
had kept the same protection spells on it. If they had changed them, it would be
difficult for him to enter.

He wondered if Narcissa and Lucius were waiting for him. After all, Draco had
already been invited to join them two days ago.

He stepped into the Manor carefully, watching out for unfriendly new spells. He
found none. The sound of his heels hitting the marble floor reverberated in the
long and silent corridor of the entrance hall with each step he took. It only
stopped when he reached his father’s favourite room in the house: his office.

Draco opened it slowly, and he held his breath in anticipation. With his wand at
the ready, he made his way inside and found it empty. The only thing that gave
away that Lucius had been there already was his lit pipe on the Victorian desk.
Draco breathed deeply in relief. He hadn’t noticed he had been holding his
breath until that moment.

His peace didn’t last long. He felt the presence of his father behind him and
turned around quickly. His eyes met Lucius’ gaze, and he tried as hard as he
could not to look away. It was important to show his father that he wouldn’t
bend or allow himself to be humiliated.

Even though Lucius still had bags under his eyes, his arrogance was printed on
his face. As was his smirk, which reminded Draco so much of his own. They stared
at each other for a long time. Draco gulped and ordered himself to remain calm
and composed. He was ready for Lucius. He could handle him.

“Hello, son. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” Lucius finally
asked with phoney courtesy. “ I thought you wouldn’t come, although your
mother kept trying to convince me otherwise. She still hasn’t given up on you,
that silly woman.”

“Aren’t you going to ask how I came in?”

Lucius gripped the head of his cane and walked towards an armchair near the
fireplace. Draco tensed for a moment, but then he relaxed as Lucius passed by
him without doing anything. Properly seated, Lucius ran his fingers through his
now short silvery blond hair and held his chin high.

“Why would I ask you such a stupid question? I know how you came in. Your
mother has kept the old wards around the Manor in hope that you’d come back
someday.” Draco raised an eyebrow at that, and Lucius smirked at him.
“She’s your mother, Draco. She has faith in you and your loyalty to your
family.” Draco snorted at that. Lucius sneered. “Like I said, she’s a
silly woman. But you haven’t answered my question yet. Why are you here?”

“I thought you’d be packing by now,” Draco said. “I thought you’d be
long gone.”

“So you came here in hope to stop me? Arrest me, perhaps?”

Draco didn’t flinch to answer. “Possibly.”

Lucius gave him a throaty chuckle. “You wouldn’t dare arrest your own
father.”

“I would,” said Draco firmly.

Lucius started at him thoughtfully. “Perhaps I’m just as silly as your
mother. I confess that I was also hoping you’d come back someday with your
tail between your legs. But looking into your eyes now… You’ve changed.
You’re stronger. Not even that awful experience with Smear has made you
quiver. You’re even an Auror. A disgrace to our ancestors. But I’m oddly
proud of you. You’ve managed to survive without us. Congratulations!”

Draco sneered. “Sure you are. Next thing I know you’ll be inviting me for
tea, and we’ll spend some quality time together as father and son. You’ll
ask me about my work and I’ll ask you about your days in prison. I’ll
forgive you for being such an evil bastard. You’ll forgive me for being a fag
and ruining your plans to raise a Malfoy brat to keep our lineage. We’ll both
cry and hug each other, and realise we’ve spent precious time apart.”

Lucius smirked. “I wouldn’t go that far. Tea would be fine, though.”
Lucius took his wand from his robes, making Draco tense and grip his own in his
hand. But all Lucius did was tap his wand on the table and make a Chinese tea
set materialize on it. Draco’s cup flew in his direction and stopped in front
of him. “Would you please have a seat? I promise I won’t make any sudden
movements or go for your throat. That’s not my style anyway.”

“No, your style is to sneak up from behind and stab the person in the back,”
Draco pointed out, taking the cup in his hands and smelling it suspiciously.

“No poison, I assure you. Would I poison my own son?”

“You hired someone to rape me repeatedly,” Draco reminded with a bitter
sneer. He was stunned at how great he was holding himself together.
“Shouldn’t I be worried?”

“Oh, but that was to teach you a lesson,” Lucius said, taking a sip of his
tea. “It’s what any father would have done. For instance, what’s the first
thing a father does when he catches his son smoking? Make the little brat smoke
the whole pack, so he won’t repeat the same mistake again. I only used the
same principle on you. Was I wrong? Maybe. But I was only thinking of what was
best for you.”

Draco trembled slightly. Lucius was despicable for thinking that what he had
done to Draco was just the normal way to correct his character.

“It didn’t work, anyway. I guess I underestimated you and your awful taste
in men. Oh, by the way, I saw that lovely picture of you and Harry Potter.
It’s such a shame that you didn’t inform me about this crush in the past…
We could have used it to our advantage. I could have used it as a way to escape
prison.”

Draco gave a hollow laugh. “You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m certainly not,” remarked Lucius. “I’d have told everyone that
I had Harry’s best interest at heart by working for Voldemort, because my son
was having an affair with him. And of course, being the great father that I am,
I was cheering for their romance and only did what Voldemort asked me to because
I thought I was protecting them.”

Draco snorted. “That doesn’t make any sense! And it’s just like you to be
ok with it as long as you have something to gain from it. You despise me for
being gay.”

“Too true.” Lucius shrugged. “But can’t a father change his mind,
especially when it comes to saving his own butt?” Draco shook his head in
disbelief. “Aren’t you going to sit, Draco? You’re making me nervous. And
drink that tea already. It isn’t poisoned.”

Draco set the untouched cup on the round centre table without saying anything,
and he sat on the opposite armchair of Lucius with his wand on his lap.

“So, where are you heading? Paris? Vienna? South Africa?” Draco asked
casually.

Lucius placed his teacup next to Draco’s, snapped his fingers and waited for
his pipe to settle in his right hand before smoking it with a sigh of pleasure.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Lucius informed him calmly. “I have no reason
to. In a couple of months my sentence will be extinguished, and I’ll be a free
man again.”

Draco frowned. “How can you be so sure?”

“Oh, Draco, my poor innocent son.” The pipe rested in Lucius’ lips for a
while. Then the older Malfoy took it out of his mouth and looked at nothing in
particular. “It took a while, but the good days are almost back again.
Corruption is finally in vogue this autumn. It’s amazing what bribe can do to
people. I swear I didn’t have to threaten anyone this time, just wave some
money in their faces and some real estate. That was all it took to buy my
freedom. I suppose I’m a little sad to lose that gorgeous Villa in Tuscany,
but… well… everything has a price. Besides, I can always get it back
later.”

“So you already bought your way out. What the Winzengamot did was only for
show…” Draco said, feeling sad that his predictions had been correct.

Lucius nodded slowly, a big grin printed on his face. “Did you think
differently? You used to be smarter, Draco. You actually thought I’d leave the
country like an ordinary criminal? Please! Not me! I’m staying here! And soon
enough I’ll start my business again. And mark my words: I’ll be influencing
the Ministry just the way I used to.”

Draco bit his lower lip and realised that he had been wrong about a lot of
things concerning his father, which didn’t mean that Lucius was less
dangerous. On the contrary. Draco should be very careful around him.

“You might be lying to me,” Draco pondered. “And the moment I turn my back
to you, you’ll be long gone to an unknown location.”

“I won’t, I can assure you. Of course, I know it’s hard to believe your
old man. But I’m being honest, I swear!” Lucius paused, smiled at Draco’s
face and then finished, “As honest as I can be.”

“Aren’t you about to lose everything to the Ministry? That was why mother
went after me to ask me to come back and have our assets passed on to me,”
Draco said.

Lucius shook his head. “Your mother jumped ahead of me. I didn’t authorize
her to offer you such a thing. You’re disowned. However, I did tell her that
I’d change my mind if you asked for forgiveness and came crawling back, which
I know you won’t do. Unless… I threaten your sweet lover’s life.” There
was something wicked in Lucius’ tone that sent shivers down Draco’s spine.

“Interesting point,” Draco said, trying to ignore the voice in his head that
kept inciting him to hex Lucius. “You are threatening me. I’ve been
receiving intimidating notes ever since that St. Mungo’s photo was published.
And two days ago my apartment was trashed and I was almost killed by a dear
acquainted of ours: Johnson Smear. Did you hire Johnson again?” Draco asked,
and he was surprised to see genuine astonishment in Lucius’ face. “Oh, come
on. You didn’t know?”

“There wasn’t anything in the Daily Prophet,” Lucius pointed out.

“Oh, that’s right. My boss didn’t want the news printed. He thinks I’m
the guilty one, Merlin knows why, so he thinks that it will look bad for the
Department if the news go published.” Draco smiled bitterly.

“I really don’t know anything about this recent event. And I swear I have
nothing to do with it. I wouldn’t hire anyone to kill you, Draco. I’d do it
myself if necessary,” Lucius said coldly, and Draco believed him. “Did Smear
tell you that he was under my orders?”

“No.” Draco felt his palms sweating. His self-control was beginning to
crumble. “He said it was Bellatrix Lestrange.”

“Your Aunt Bella?” he asked with eyebrows raised. If it wasn’t for a vein
pulsing frantically in Lucius’ forehead, Draco would had never known he was
furious.

Draco nodded. “Yes.”

Lucius left his pipe resting on the centre table, picked up his wand and pointed
it at the fireplace. A white ray of light hit it creating white flames. Lucius
shouted for Trinity and a house-elf came through it gasping for breath. The
small creature bent until his pointed nose almost touched the Turkey tapestry on
the floor.

“Tell Narcissa I need to see her immediately in my office,” Lucius ordered.
The house-elf rushed inside the flames again and disappeared. Lucius stared at
Draco but didn’t say anything.

“So you really didn’t know anything about Smear and Bellatrix,” Draco said
in a low voice.

“No, I didn’t. I’m actually very angry to hear such things. You see, I was
expecting you to come at some point, even though I knew you wouldn’t come for
the same reasons your mother thought you would. I knew you’d confront me and
ask me questions about how I managed to convince the Winzengamot to mitigate my
sentence. But I didn’t know you’d come because someone had attacked you and
you thought it was me.”

“But you saw the picture in the Daily Prophet. I thought…”

Lucius interrupted him. “I won’t deny that I was shocked by it. The whole
article was quite amusing, though.” Lucius smirked. “And the way the
journalist hinted that Potter could be the next Dark Lord… Ingenious. But not
at all true. I actually thought that the picture was a montage, which proves
that even your old man can be naïve sometimes!”

“So you weren’t angry with me?” Draco was very confused. “You weren’t
thinking about revenge because I’d broken the curse Voldemort placed on Harry
before he died?”

“Why would I want revenge? I’m most grateful that Voldemort is dead, Draco.
To be honest, I’d rather live in a world without him. He was too bloody
insane. Sooner or later he would have killed your mother and me. I protected
your sorry ass for quite some time, making it look like you had deserted our
army, not joined the Order. He knew I was lying. If Potter hadn’t killed him,
we’d all be dead by now.”

“But I’ve thought…”

“You thought wrong. I’d only go after Potter if he were in my way. He
isn’t. Why should I bother with him?”

Draco was too dumbfounded to say anything else.

“There aren’t many Death Eaters left,” Lucius continued. “And the ones
that are on the loose wouldn’t risk going after you. You’re an Auror. They
know better than that. But then we have your lunatic Aunt Bella…”

They were interrupted by the arrival of Narcissa wearing a beautiful light pink
and white robe full of little diamonds and crystals shaped like stars. Her long
and silky blond hair cascaded down her back, making her look almost ethereal.
Her eyes flickered as she spotted Draco next to Lucius, and her lips curled into
a smirk.

“So you’ve finally regained your senses,” she said most pleased with
herself. “I knew you would.”

“He came here to stop me from leaving the country, dear,” stated Lucius.
“And when I told him I had no such plan, he accused me of sending Smear after
him to kill him. What do you think of it, darling?”

“Rubbish,” she promptly answered. “Why would we want to kill our own
son?”

Draco made a face. That whole conversation was becoming more and more surreal.
He felt a knot in his stomach. It was very unnerving to be in the same room with
both of his parents.

“Indeed,” Lucius said, looking at her intently. “And then he told me the
most interesting news… That the one responsible for Smear is your dear sister
Bellatrix.”

For a moment, Narcissa became even paler than normal. Her delicate hands
trembled slightly and so did her chin. “It is quite interesting. I haven’t
heard from Bella in a long time. I wonder where she is.”

Lucius frowned. He got up at once and came to stand next to her, his eyes
sparkling dangerously. “Do you dare lie to me? You know where she is,
Narcissa. I know you’ve been helping her,” he spoke very close to her face.

Narcissa remained still, but Draco could see she was nervous. Lucius was the
only one she feared.

“I don’t know…” she tried to say, but he gripped her arms and squeezed
it until she moaned in pain. Draco stood up instinctively. He didn’t know if
he should interfere or let his father run the show. Although he hated her, she
was still his mother. But didn’t she deserve to suffer if she had something to
do with Smear’s last attack? Didn’t she deserve to suffer for everything she
had done to Draco in the past? Draco flinched. He didn’t know what to do.

“Confess, Narcissa! Do you know where she is?”

She winced. “I do.”

“Did you plot with her against Draco?” Lucius gripped her arms tightly and
she cried out.

“Y-yes!” she snapped. Lucius let her go as if he was sick of her, and she
fell to the floor with her head down and her hands on her face.

“There you go, Draco,” Lucius hissed with distaste. “The real criminal
mind behind your attack. A woman who thinks that she can act on her own and rely
on her crazy sister instead of her husband. What did I tell you before I went to
prison, Narcissa? WHAT?”

“That I should stick to house affairs and nothing else,” she whispered,
humiliated. Her haughtiness was totally gone now. Draco pitied her, but deep
down he thought it was well deserved. He hated himself for thinking that way.

“Exactly! What part of it didn’t you understand?” Lucius asked angrily.

“But you weren’t here! There were urgent matters to be taken care of!” she
exclaimed, looking up.

“Oh, and your brilliant mind thought it was clever to go to your son and ask
him to come back home, so we could pass on our assets to him in order to fool
the Ministry. Our treacherous, double-crossing son! A son who gave his back to
us, who joined the Order and is now an Auror! A son who hates us and would be
rejoiced to know that we were desperate enough to try to pull out such a
childish scheme!” Lucius was fuming. “And if that wasn’t enough, you set
your sister after him, knowing full well she would kill him for what he did in
St. Mungo’s.”

“She wouldn’t! Smear wasn’t supposed to kill Draco. He was supposed to
kidnap him and bring him to us!” she exclaimed. “Draco deserves to suffer
because of what he did to us! All the shame he brought to our family! First
sleeping around with men, then selling us out to the Order! Or did you forget
that you were arrested thanks to him? You said so yourself! He’s treacherous!
And now he’s with Harry Potter! He was the one who broke the curse that our
Lord cast on Potter! He deserved a lesson! I thought that after a while locked
up in our dungeons, he would finally realise that he belongs to us! I gave birth
to him! I got fat and ugly for nine months! You slept with other women because
of that! He’s my reward for having to put up with all that hell! His mine!”
she shouted out of control. “MINE!”

Draco felt nauseated. He covered his mouth with his hand as if that would help
him not to vomit.

“Foolish woman!” Lucius slapped her soundly. “I’m the Master of his
house! I’m the one who calls all the shots, Narcissa! Draco is my toy! Mine! I
should be the one to teach him a lesson! Not your psycho sister! Not you!”

Draco clenched his fists and bit his lower lip hard. His family was really
twisted. Lucius wasn’t mad at her because she had dared attack her son, but
because Lucius wanted the privilege to do that himself. So in the end, he
hadn’t been that wrong about Lucius. He did have a reason to fear him. Draco
was disgusted with the whole thing. For his parents, he was merely a toy to be
played around with at their convenience.

“So what now? Are you going to teach me a lesson, father?” Draco asked
grimly.

Lucius turned to him with a frown. “No, Draco. Your mother comes first on my
list.” Lucius sent her a wicked smile. “She’ll help me track down
Bellatrix, and then Smear. I’ll take care of them for you.”

“I don’t need you to take care of this for me!” Draco protested.

Lucius shrugged. “Then I’ll do it for my own pleasure.” He turned to
Narcissa again and saw the look of hatred in her eyes. “Don’t look at me
like that. You knew you’d be punished once I found out what you had been doing
in my absence. Know your place, Narcissa, or pay the price. Are you my wife or
your sister’s ally? Choose carefully, dear.”

Narcissa slowly picked herself up from the floor, and then ran her fingers
through her hair. Draco found it amazing that she put herself together so fast.
Her blue eyes were as cold as ice when she answered unemotionally, “I’m your
wife.”

“Very well.” Lucius smiled, pleased. “See, Draco? That’s how you solve
family conflicts.”

Draco breathed hard. He didn’t think he could handle the situation any longer.
He needed to get out of there as soon as possible, or else he would lose his
mind. He was trembling all over.

“Do you want some tea, my dear?” asked Lucius to Narcissa. She nodded
obediently and went to sit erectly on the armchair Draco had occupied just a
couple of minutes ago.

“Jesus! You two are really fucked up,” Draco muttered, flabbergasted at the
way they began to act as if nothing had happened. “So what now, dear father?
Are you going to lock me here and make me pay for my sins?” he asked with a
sneer.

“Not at the moment, no.” Lucius sat on his armchair again and sighed.
“I’m very disappointed with you. And I can’t say I’m delighted with
everything you’ve done… But you’re still my heir.”

“I’m disowned! You said so yourself!” Draco exclaimed, losing his
patience. “Why don’t you both just forget that I exist? Why can’t you
leave me the hell alone?”

“What would be the fun in that?” Lucius sneered, and so did Narcissa.
“You’re our precious little boy, Draco. You’re still my only child. I need
you alive. For now anyway.” Lucius filled his teacup with a tap of his wand.
“You can go now. I’m glad you’ve dropped by, son. We should do this again
some other time.”

Draco stared at his father in disbelief, but knowing full well that when it came
to his parents, he could always expect the unexpected. He shook his head
exhaustedly, gave his back to them and walked towards the exit of the house. He
was too stunned and shocked to even try to understand what had just happened,
and he was left wondering what exactly would take place next.



                                Kapitel 44: 44.
                                ---------------


44.
After spending a few days living in a hotel, Draco gathered the few clothes and
personal items that were found intact in his apartment and decided to move in to
Harry’s house at Grimmauld Place. Mrs. Black received him with a welcoming
shriek that almost broke all of the windows on the first floor. Then she tried
to pretend that she was very displeased that the house was inhabited once again,
when in fact she was thrilled to have someone to shout at and to complain to
about things.

Draco ignored her most of the time, but he was under such stress that he found
himself under her portrait one night, dead drunk, spilling out the lunatic
encounter with his parents, laughing about the whole thing, and then crying his
heart out about how alone he felt and how much he missed Harry. Mrs. Black,
having stolen a bottle of wine from another portrait, laughed and cried with him
as well. She even shared a few of her family secrets. And although she tried to
deny that her crying was because she missed Harry, she didn’t sound very
convincing.

Mrs. Black’s presence was strangely soothing to him. Her constant nagging and
foolish talks helped him get his mind out of his current problems at work, and
to some extent with his parents. At least Hermione had made Jonah drop all
charges against Draco, alleging that his arguments were weak and completely off
base. The only one who could prove something against Draco was Smear, and the
man had simply disappeared from London. Draco bet he had taken off to somewhere
unknown with Bellatrix. They ought to, especially now that Lucius was tracking
them down. It wasn’t that Bellatrix feared Lucius, but his father wasn’t an
opponent one could take lightly. Once infuriated, Lucius was very scary, and at
that moment his fury was being saved for Bellatrix and Draco’s ex-boyfriend.

As for Lucius himself, he had only sent a letter once to Draco about silly
matters from the Manor. That hadn’t struck Draco as odd. His father, he had
finally learned at their last meeting, was of a peculiar sort. His madness was
something that worried Draco. Lucius’ actions were unpredictable. But he was
determined not to let both of his parents’ insanity run his life forever. He
needed to break free from them once and for all. Although it was difficult, it
wasn’t an impossible task.

At least he had stopped receiving threatening letters condemning his sinful
relationship with Harry, which gave him some relief. The Daily Prophet had also
changed its target to another hot scoop: the corruption behind the Ministry’s
walls. Even though the public, in general, and the journal were openly against
The Wizengamot’s mitigation of Lucius’ sentence, the wizard high court of
law didn’t seem to pay attention to the criticism around them.

Draco knew well how difficult it was to charge The Wizengamot of being corrupt,
but he hoped justice would be done someday, and Lucius would be thrown back in
prison where he belonged. He also hoped that Bellatrix would be caught and
arrested. He and Hermione were working hard to accomplish that, almost as hard
as Lucius.

Another week passed by without any news from Harry, Bellatrix or his father.
Draco prayed every night for Harry’s quick and safe return. He wasn’t
worried about their love fading anymore. Harry’s last – and only – phone
call had put his heart at ease. But he couldn’t help feeling anxious
sometimes. His heart ached with Harry’s absence.

To pass the time and trick his lonely heart, Draco went out with Bill a couple
of times – just for coffee – and hadn’t felt anything for his ex other
than tender friendship. He and Bill continued to be very close to each other,
more now that they had finally settled down with their real soul mates. But that
was all.

On his third week living in Harry’s residence, Draco was surprised by
Severus’ sudden visit. As usual, the ex-Potions Master found himself in a very
bad mood.

“I’m here to stay with you until Sirius and the brat come back, which might
be a very long time… so you’d better get used to having me around,”
Severus informed Draco, bringing his luggage floating behind him, ascending the
stairs and making himself comfortable in one of the many guests’ chambers.

Draco just followed him with a frown. “Why? Did he get in touch with you
again? And if he did, when was that? Harry hasn’t called since–”

“Since you were attacked by your ex, I suppose,” Severus completed for him.
Draco went pale. “Calm down, Draco. Potter doesn’t know what really
happened. Not even Sirius knows. Sirius called me a little after Harry called
you to inform me that Harry had the strangest dream about my Godson being
attacked in his apartment. But everything seemed to be ok since you told Harry
nothing serious had happened with you, just a pub fight. After struggling with
myself, I came to London a week ago to investigate the truth. And I’ve found
that not only has your ex tried to kill you, but you have also paid a visit to
your dear lunatic father.”

Draco stared him with his mouth hang open. “How did you find out about all of
this?”

Severus smirked. “I have my sources.”

“But nobody knows about my father except Hermione, and I doubt she’d say
anything to you.”

“It wasn’t Granger,” Severus said.

“Then who told you about my visit to the Manor?” Draco insisted.

Severus crossed his arms and sighed. “Your own father.”

“My father?” Draco was flabbergasted. “When did you talk to him?”

“I heard he was under house arrest, so I went to say hi.”

“Why?” Draco asked, shocked. “Why would you go there?”

“Why, silly boy? Because I was worried about you!” Severus exclaimed at him
angrily. “I had to find out if he was responsible for attacking you. And
surprisingly, he wasn’t. He said it was your Aunt Bellatrix’s doing in
retaliation for that St Mungo’s picture. Even he didn’t see that coming. Why
didn’t you ask for my help, Draco? Why do you think you must go through this
alone?”

Draco rolled his eyes and tried to conceal the fact that he was touched by
Severus’ worry with him. “I went through the same thing with Hermione, so
don’t make me repeat myself. This is my problem. My mess. My parents are my
burden. I need to learn how to handle them by myself. I’m not a child
anymore.”
“Still, you should have confided in me to…”

“No!” Draco interrupted him. “You know this better than anyone else! You
know the feeling! Although you want to rely on people, and let them ease your
pain, you know it isn’t right to them. Or to yourself! Besides, you don’t
want to look like a coward. You want to prove to yourself that you can handle
your own bloody life. Wasn’t that what you taught me once? That I should be
able to take care of myself? I’m trying to do that. Besides, I didn’t have
the courage to say anything to Harry. I admit that it was about my pride at
first. Well, it’s still about my pride. But… he said he was making progress.
If I’d told him about Johnson, he would have come back for me. I know he would
have. I didn’t want to ruin his chance to heal himself, so I lied.”

Draco sighed heavily, and then sat down on an armchair close to the bed where
Severus was seated. “I also don’t feel like playing the part of the damsel
in distress. I can take care of myself. If I keep depending on Harry for
everything… where will that leave me? I don’t want to depend on him so much.
It isn’t healthy. I just want to love him. I want us to be together on equal
terms.”

“You still feel inferior to him,” Severus said sharply, hitting the target
right on the mark.

Draco glared at him. “Maybe. So what? I’m trying to change that. I’m
trying…”

“This is really foolish, Draco, but I understand,” said Severus softly,
taking Draco by surprise. “You have to understand, though, that if you keep
thinking along those lines, it’ll affect your relationship with Harry in a
very negative way. You’re still competing with him. And if you don’t realise
that soon enough and try to change your silly juvenile behaviour, your love life
will be a living hell. Love isn’t about competition, Draco. It’s about trust
and sharing your fears with the one you love. It’s about not being afraid of
letting the person next to you pick you up when you fall down.”

“You talk as if you’re the personification of true love,” Draco pointed
out with a sneer. “Whoever hears you might think you actually mean it,
Severus! Do you even know what you’re saying? Your relationship with Black is
all about distrust!”

“Exactly! See my point here? Do you want to repeat my mistakes? Do you want to
live with Harry the same life that I live with Sirius? You’re still young.
There’s still time for you to open your eyes and learn from your mistakes!”
Severus exclaimed impatiently. He was being too out of character, so he was
beginning to feel restless. “Besides, Sirius and I have far more reasons to
hate one another than you and Harry.”

“Okay! I get it! But this doesn’t change the fact that I think I was right
by not telling Harry about what happened!”

“It’s your life, Draco. Do as you please with it. But just remember one
thing. If your pride or fears ever surpass your love, you’ll lose him. Learn
how to let him take care of you. You don’t need to play the part of the damsel
in distress,” said Severus with a face, “but it’s ok to let him hold you
once in a while and keep your fears at bay. He’ll have his moments, too.
Wouldn’t you like to be there for him when he needs you?”

Draco gulped and looked away. He remembered how good it felt to hold Harry in
his arms after his breakdown in Severus’ mansion, and he understood what
Severus meant.

“Yes,” Draco answered in a feeble voice. “I want to be there for him when
he needs me. And I don’t want him to think that this makes him inferior to me.
I want him to trust me completely.”

“See what I mean? If you want those things, you’ll have to let yourself open
to him as well.”

Draco threw a half-smile at him. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?
Why don’t you apply the things you say to me to your own love life?”

Severus grimaced. “Because, like I said, I’m too damn old to change my
habits. And so is Sirius. We have all of our idiosyncrasies shaped by years of
distrust and hatred… We’re both moody and cynical. All we can do is try our
best not to get on each other’s nerves… much. We’re one of those hopeless
cases. We can’t live without each other, and we can’t live with each other.
It’s damn stressful… I’m actually glad he went with the brat and gave me
some space to breath.”

“You’re only saying this to trick your heart. I do the same all the time. In
truth you miss him deeply, don’t you?” Draco asked.

“Do I?” Severus snorted. “Why would I miss that idiotic horny dog?”

Draco chuckled. “Oh, you so miss him.”

Severus shrugged. “I miss the sex.”

“I bet you miss the fights,” Draco mocked.

Severus tried to conceal his smile, but he couldn’t. “Perhaps, Draco.
Perhaps.”

“Did he get in touch with you after that day?” Draco asked a little bit
anxiously.

“No. And I wasn’t expecting him to. I’m not the sentimental type. I can
endure a few months without Sirius. Like I said, I did need some space.”

Draco knew he was lying, but he didn’t push it.

“And how are you hanging on without Potter?” Severus asked.

Draco sighed gloomily. He didn’t feel like lying. There was no purpose. His
emotions were written all over his face anyway. “I’m okay, I guess. I do
miss him. A lot.”

“You aren’t going to cry, are you?” Severus asked with a frown.

“No!” Draco denied, outraged. “But I allow myself to drink into oblivion
every once in while.”

Severus seemed interested in that. “Really? Mind if I join you tonight?”

Draco smiled mischievously. “Not at all. As long as you bring your own
Scotch.”

“Very well. Just don’t come crying for a taste of heaven when I open my
bottle of the best Scotch in the world,” Severus returned with a smirk.

--

Draco awoke with a terrible hangover. He and Severus had gone a little overboard
in their drinking the previous night. At least it was funny. It wasn’t every
day that one could enjoy the company of a drunken Severus Snape. But right
before he passed out, he wondered if he wasn’t turning into Harry with the
disgusting habit of smashing himself to sleep almost every night.

He got up from the bed with a grimace. The world around him seemed to be having
a hard time remaining still. He wobbled towards the bathroom with his wand in
his hand as if to cast the anti-hangover spell on himself. Feeling light-headed
after the yellow ray of light showered him, he filled the bathtub with tepid
water and jumped in. He tapped the water gently with the tip of his wand to make
it bubble and sighed in bliss as he felt the water massaging his muscles.

When he found himself to be presentable, he descended the stairs to meet Severus
in the kitchen with the Daily Prophet open in front of him. Severus barely took
notice of Draco as the blonde poured himself some fresh coffee. Draco took a
seat across him and drank his coffee silently. Finally, Severus put the
wizarding newspaper aside and stared at Draco with thinned eyes.

“Did you sleep well?” Severus asked.

“I guess so,” said Draco with a shrug.

“Hangover?”

“Got rid of it already,” he informed him, taking a sip of his coffee.

Severus nodded slightly. Draco didn’t like the way his Godfather was watching
him so intently.

“You got rid of the headache, but not the bad mood that comes along with
it,” Severus pointed out. Draco just shrugged again. So what if he was in a
bad mood? His life was falling apart. There was no way he could be feeling any
better.

“I’ve noticed too many empty bottles laying around,” Severus remarked.

Oh, so that was where their conversation was heading. Draco sighed, for he was
sure that Severus would lecture him next. He wasn’t wrong.

“You first came to this house to look after Potter and his drinking
problem,” said Severus. “Now he’s gone, and you took his place. Are you
waiting for him to save you, Draco?”

Draco smiled wryly. “Perhaps I am. Wasn’t it you who told me to stop acting
so defensive and let people take care of me?”

“I didn’t mean to make you a pathetic excuse of a human being.”

“I’m not pathetic,” said Draco dryly. “And spare me the sermon. I’m of
age and responsible for my own actions. If I want to drink myself to sleep I
will.”

“And become an alcoholic?”

Draco sighed, irritated. “Of course not! Some bottles have been laying around
forever! They aren’t mine. They were Harry’s!” He banged his fist on the
table the moment he realised what he had just said. He wasn’t just behaving
like Harry. He was sounding like him as well with such a lame excuse. “All
right. You’re right. I’m pathetic. I’ll change. Let’s move on.”

“If I knew you were this deep in depression, I wouldn’t have let you drink
yesterday,” said Severus with a serious face.

“Would you stop?” Draco asked, his face slightly red from anger. “I’m
not depressed, for Merlin’s sake!”

“Aren’t you?” Severus grimaced.

“No! I’m certainly not depressed! I am, however, very pissed off!” Draco
stood up abruptly and took his empty cup to the sink as to have an excuse to
avoid Severus’ sharp look. He placed his hands on the balcony and licked his
lips. Then he exploded. “Haven’t I the right to be mad? My life was finally
on track, and then this whole mess happened! Harry, Mother, threatening letters,
Smear, Bellatrix, Father… My career is holding on by a thread! Should I be
smiling? Tell me how and I will!”

He turned to stare at Severus and found his Godfather deep in thought.

“I can’t tell you how. I never knew myself,” said Severus bitterly. “I
really didn’t mean to lecture you. I’m just checking your nerves.”

“My nerves?”

Severus looked at him, and Draco liked that look even less. Something about that
look sent chills down his spine. Draco felt like he was being struck by
lightning. Of course, Severus wouldn’t bother to lecture him. He had done it
on very few occasions, and usually to prepare Draco for something worse.

“What?” Draco asked, afraid of what was to come. Draco’s eyes fell upon
the Prophet on the table. Severus picked it up and folded it as to conceal
whatever it was written there. “What?” Draco insisted.

“Do you want the good or the bad news first?”

Draco swallowed hard. His mouth had suddenly become very dry.

“The good one,” he answered.

“Well, the good news is that Bellatrix Lestrange and Johnson Smear were found
dead last night,” Severus informed him. “Avada Kedrava. Smear’s body shows
signs of torture. Bellatrix looked like an angel. I suppose this is your
father’s doing. Narcissa must have asked him to spare her sister from feeling
any pain. Smear wasn’t so lucky.” Severus sneered. “There are no suspects
yet. My personal opinion is that there will never be any. The Ministry won’t
bother to investigate the murder of a former Death Eater.”

“Why wasn’t I informed of this? I must call Hermione at once,” he said to
himself, lost in his own thoughts. He was about to leave the kitchen when
Severus’ voice stopped him.

“The bad news first, Draco. And be ready,” he warned, his throaty voice
cutting Draco like a knife.

Draco felt his hands tremble. He clenched his fists and thinned his lips. Then
he expected the blow. Severus threw the Prophet open on the table and waited for
Draco’s reaction to the article entitled ‘DRACO MALFOY: DEATH EATER AND MALE
PROSTITUTE’.

Draco felt his insides turning. He leaned on the table and forced himself to
read the entire article. Every word seemed like a sword ripping him apart. It
was quite a tale of sex and drugs. An elaborated lie about Draco’s life after
the war was over, signed by Charles Hagen, the same man who had already tried to
disgrace Draco in a previous article. At least Smear wasn’t mentioned. If he
were, Draco could almost envision Jonah all over him, accusing him of murdering
Smear because of a personal vendetta. On second thought, Jonah would probably
accuse him of such an act anyway. After all, it was Smear who had told him about
Draco’s past as a male prostitute.

Draco hid his face behind his hands and breathed hard. None of those
side-stories detailed in the article were true, but the main fact was. Draco had
slept with men for money a few times. He had prostituted himself for fear of his
ex-boyfriend’s violence. Besides, the damage was done. No matter how hard he
tried to deny those accusations, there would always be people to believe in them
and look down on him. He would also lose his job for sure now. Even Hermione
wouldn’t be able to help him this time.

He took a deep breath to calm himself down. He bet Severus was expecting him to
throw a fit, but he wouldn’t.

“Draco?” Severus called him softly. Draco despised him. Wasn’t Severus
supposed to treat him harshly as to prevent him from falling apart? Draco
didn’t want pity. He loathed that emotion.

And then, out of nowhere, a fit of laughter escaped from his lips. He laughed so
hard that salty tears rolled down his cheeks. His face became a light pink at
first, and then vivid red as he became out of breath. If Severus hadn’t
slapped him hard on the face, he would have choked.

When the fit was over, his body began to shake uncontrollably. He embraced
himself.

“Be angry, Draco!” ordered Severus. “Shout if you want! Break everything
around you! Just don’t fall apart! You’re stronger than this!”

Draco looked up at Severus, but his vision was all blurry. He blinked and
nodded. Severus was right. He was stronger than that. He needed to pull himself
together.

“Who the FUCK is Charles Hagen?” Draco shouted. “Why does he hate me so
much? This is the second time he has tried to destroy me!” Draco banged his
fists on the table. Severus heard the windows above them blast. He sighed.
Draco’s magic was totally out of control. Just in case, he let his wand at the
ready.

“FUCK!” Draco buried his fingers in his hair. “I wouldn’t mind if the
headline was false. But it is true! The stories are a bunch of lies, but…”
Draco moaned as if he were in pain. “People will read this. Harry might read
this.” He felt sick. “Harry will hate me… because I’ll have to tell him
the truth, no matter what. And he’ll hate me.”

Severus gripped his shoulder hard. Draco felt a tear escape from his eye.

“You have other problems to take care of at the moment, so pull yourself
together fast,” Severus said, hoping to sound firm. He felt deeply sorry for
his Godson, but he couldn’t allow Draco to lose his grip.

Draco glanced at him. There it was, the same look as before. “No… Please…
Spare me,” Draco muttered. “I can’t take anything else right now. I need
to digest this piece of crap first.”

“No time, Draco. I’m sorry, but you received an owl post this morning.
Someone is coming to pay you a visit.”

“Who?” Draco asked.

“Your father.”

“Oh, God…” He hid his face in his hands again, wondering when that looming
hell would be over.



                                Kapitel 45: 45.
                                ---------------


45.
Draco refused to let his father into Harry’s house. Harry would never forgive
him for letting Lucius step foot into his sacred home. So disregarding
Severus’ advice to stay put, Draco sent a message to his father telling him he
was coming to the Manor. Then he went to the station, bought a ticket to
Wiltshire, southwest England, and boarded the train. He was determined to let
his father know once and for all that Draco wouldn’t let him ruin his life
more than he had already done it.

By the time he arrived at the Manor, his head had cooled down a bit. His whole
body stiffened as he entered the house, but at least he wasn’t trembling like
a leaf anymore.

He found Lucius waiting for him in his office, seated behind his desk with a
cigar elegantly settled between his fingers. Their eyes met in muted challenge.
Lucius smirked and made sure to send the message that he wouldn’t make things
easy for Draco, not as long as he was still breathing.

“Were you afraid that I’d stain your precious lover’s home?” Lucius
asked with a sneer.

Draco returned the sneer. “What happened to: ‘Hello, dear son. To what do I
own the pleasure of your visit?’ Going straight to the point will make me
think that you are not happy to see me, father.”

“Of course I am,” Lucius smirked. “It’s always a pleasure to have my son
visiting his old man. I wasn’t looking forward to going to Potter’s anyway.
You’ve spared me the trouble.” Lucius put the cigar away after sending blue
circles of smoke towards Draco. Draco did his best not to cough. “And how are
you this morning?”

“Wonderful,” Draco answered.

“How did you like this morning newspaper? Quite a funny read, wasn’t it? I
suppose you were relieved that I put down two of your enemies for you. Smear
wasn’t so difficult to handle. Your aunt was a problem, though. Such a wild
spirit. It was such a shame to have to get rid of her. I shall miss her deeply.
Your mother was devastated, but she understood that it was for the best. She
loves you so much that she’s even capable of murdering her own sister.
Aren’t you grateful, Draco? You have such loving parents. How many children
can say that?”

Draco felt his stomach turn, and he had to hold himself not to vomit right then
and there. He couldn’t help the thought that had he vomited his father would
have scolded him for dirtying his expensive tapestry.

“So you’re confessing. I should arrest you,” Draco said coldly.

Lucius smiled wryly. “Aren’t you an ungrateful brat? Why do you always have
to bite the hand that feeds you, Draco? Oh, never mind answering that. I suppose
it’s in your blood. You are a Malfoy after all.”

Draco took out his wand from his waistband and pointed at his father, hoping to
keep his grip firm.

“You’re under arrest. And so is mother.”

Lucius’ sharp blue eyes pierced through him. Draco gripped his wand harder.

“Stop being foolish. I know you’re good,” Lucius stated. “I know you can
handle me easily now. I’m not as strong as before. Old age and jail have
diminished my magical powers.”

Draco wasn’t fooled by his speech. He had noticed Lucius’ hand fondling the
top of his cane. That was where he kept his wand.

“But the question is,” Lucius went on, “are you brave enough to face me?
Are you brave enough to kill me if you must?”

Draco’s eyes flickered, but his hand and his voice did not waver when he
answered, “Yes.”

Lucius seemed to be quite amused. “Really? That’s interesting! It makes the
desire to possess your soul even stronger. Keep struggling, Draco! I like that!
There isn’t anything in the world that gives me more pleasure than the thought
of submitting you to my will.”

Lucius got up from his chair and walked towards Draco slowly, stopping just a
few feet away. Draco didn’t lower his wand, and its tip pressed against the
rich fabric of Lucius’ robe. His father didn’t falter at his son’s
audacity. He kept a perverse smile curled on his lips. Draco felt chills down
his spine. Lucius stretched out his hand and touched Draco’s wrist. That
sudden movement startled him. His father then caressed his wrist smoothly and
muttered three words in Latin. Draco widened his eyes and tried to get away, but
by then it was too late.

Draco’s wand was easily taken away from him. He felt his body grow weaker, and
his eyes fluttered as if he was about to pass out. He had forgotten that Lucius
had that kind of power over him. Lucius had cast that submission spell on Draco
the first time his son had dared defy him when he was eight. It was Lucius’
triumph over Draco. There wasn’t anything Draco could do now. He was paralysed
and unable to defend himself.

Lucius held his son close to him and stroked Draco’s face with the palm of his
hand tenderly. He smiled victoriously and amusedly by his son’s forced
surrender. Draco wanted to scream, but his lips seemed to be sealed.

“You’re my doll, Draco,” Lucius whispered against Draco’s lips.
“You’re so perfect… Had you stayed by my side, I’d have tolerated your
taste in men. I’m not that heartless. Your mother might not understand the
needs of the flesh, but I do. I’m a man as well. We are driven by desire. I
know it’s hard to resist a man’s seduction and beauty. It’s hard to resist
beauty in any way. It’s even harder to resist toying said beauty.”

Lucius pressed his thumb on Draco’s lower lip and caressed it. Silently, Draco
cursed himself for letting his father get near him enough to cast his vicious
spell. He needed to fight it.

“It’d have been our little secret,” continued Lucius in a whisper, eyes on
Draco’s mute desperation. He smiled in satisfaction. “I would have even
tolerated you playing with Harry Potter. Playing, Draco, not loving him. I
can’t allow you to love Potter. I’m sorry, but that’s too much to ask of
my kindness. You must love your parents only. I even tolerated you sleeping with
a Weasley, knowing it wouldn’t last. How could it? They aren’t worth of us.
But I cannot tolerate Potter. I won’t let you belong to him, because you
belong only to me.

“I’m sure you read Charles Hagen’s article. Isn’t he adorably vicious? I
just had to pay him a little and he was more than willingly to destroy your name
and reputation. He surprised me with the quality of his work. I didn’t expect
all of those amusing pictures of you and Potter together. I certainly didn’t
expect that St Mungo’s picture. He’s good! And he’ll keep writing vicious
things about you until you realise your place, Draco. I don’t even mind
dirtying the Malfoy name as long as you come back to me.

“Give up Harry Potter. Give him up or I won’t just destroy you, I’ll
destroy him as well. See, Draco, Harry Potter is an annoying brat, but I
understand that he’s just a pathetic human being worth nothing at all. I’ve
heard of his depression and disgust with life in general. As long as he stays
that way, I won’t trouble myself with him. But it bothers me that you’re
with him, loving him, letting him put his dirty hands on you.” Lucius squeezed
Draco’s cheeks and brought their lips closer. “That’s my offer to you. You
leave Potter and come back to me, and I leave Potter alone. As a bonus, I’ll
even make Charles Haggen disappear. I’ll leave you to think about it.”

Lucius finally let go of Draco, and the moment their connection was broken, the
spell also wore off. Draco slid to the floor dizzily. Had he made a terrible
mistake by thinking that he was up to confronting his father? Wasn’t he
stronger now? He bit his lower lip hard until he tasted blood. He didn’t dare
look at Lucius. He knew he would find a disgusting grin of victory adorning his
face.

“Trinity!” Lucius shouted. The tiny house-elf appeared in the room trembling
all over.

“Yes, sir?”

“Call your mistress,” he ordered. “Tell her to come down to my office.
Now!”

The house-elf dashed off. Meanwhile, Draco considered his options. He needed to
gather his strength in order to deter his father from doing him any farther
harm. He needed to fight back. He wasn’t a weakling. He was an Auror, one of
the best in his field. He had faced worse situations.

He was distracted by the arrival of his mother. He noticed that she looked paler
than usual. Draco could tell that the episode with her sister had affected her.
Narcissa and Bellatrix had been very close to each other. Did his mother really
have the courage to kill her own flesh and blood? Was she that inhumane?

The whole thing disgusted Draco. He couldn’t conceive the idea of Narcissa
killing someone. She had an awful pride, she was vain and arrogant, and she
liked to show her superiority to those she considered inferior to her. But a
murderer? No, Draco couldn’t believe that. Lucius had probably lied about it
just to shock him.

“Narcissa, darling, I have some wonderful news. Draco has decided to stay with
us for a while,” he informed her with pleasure. She glanced at Draco
expressionlessly. “Please, make sure his room is tidy. We want only the best
for our dear child.”

“I’m not staying,” Draco said firmly.

“Nonsense Draco. You can’t even walk, can you?”

Draco tried to raise himself from the floor but found that he couldn’t move
his legs yet. He sighed almost in despair. He wondered if Severus would come
looking for him.

“Besides, haven’t you come to your senses yet? Don’t you care about
Potter?”

Draco smiled humourlessly. “You have no idea what I care about. You never did.
You only care about yourself and your own interests. And because I’ve dared to
defy you, to fall in love, you want to punish me.”

“Nonsense. I don’t want to punish you. But I will if you fail to obey me. I
can tolerate your homosexuality. I cannot, however, accept the fact that you
love Potter. Don’t you realise how absurd this is? The idea alone is…”

“Disgusting!” completed Narcissa, finally speaking up. “You’re father is
more understanding than I can ever be. Be grateful to have him as a father,
Draco, for I’ll never accept your disease.”

“I stopped caring about what you think a long time ago, mother,” said Draco
bitterly. “So whatever you do or say, I won’t let it bother me anymore. As
for my father’s understanding manners…” he sniggered, “indeed, he’s so
kind as to paralyse his son, threaten his lover and ruin his life. I’m very
grateful to you. Thank you, father, for making my life a living hell!”

“That’s what parents are for, Draco,” Lucius sneered.

“You’re both lunatics!” Draco cried, finally fed up with everything.
“Use Harry against me, Father. Use him as much as you like. He’s Harry
Potter! He defeated Voldemort. Do you really think he’ll be afraid of you? If
you have a dying wish, then please, do go after him. Pester him as much as you
like. But have in mind that he is ten times stronger than you.” Draco smiled
as he saw his father’s confident expression fade away. “I won’t give up on
him. Destroy me if you wish. I don’t care. For giving up my love for him is
what would really kill me.”

Lucius seemed about to explode in a fit of anger, but he controlled himself.

“I wouldn’t be so stupid as to defy Harry Potter in a duel. This is the 21st
Century after all. Things are done differently. I don’t need to kill him. All
I have to do is destroy his goody-goody reputation. The press is much more
deadly than any curse. And people will believe in any newspaper rubbish. This is
something we picked up from the Muggles. I guess they aren’t so bad after
all,” Lucius smirked as he saw his son’s smile wither.

“Why, father? Why do you hate me so much? Why can’t you just let me be?”

“Why?” Lucius raised an eyebrow. “Do you dare ask me why? You know why,
Draco. You’re my only son! I had great expectations for you. But you threw it
all away. You left me in jail. You made your mother put up with our family shame
all alone. You went further as to become an Auror, have an affair with a Weasley
and then, as a final blow, fall for Potter. I think these are reasons enough.”
Lucius pulled out his wand from his cane. Draco held his breath. “Let’s end
this. I’m tired already. Narcissa, the room!”

His wife left after a small nod. Lucius pointed his wand at Draco and smiled
evilly.

“Now, Draco, don’t get scared. I won’t harm you. You know that, don’t
you?” Lucius knelt down in front of him and caressed Draco’s face with the
tip of his wand. “If your dear Potter comes for you, I might even reconsider
my decision. As long as the bargain is worth it, I’ll let him have you. See
how kind I can be? How much do you think he’s willing to pay to have you
back?”

The sudden realisation of his father’s words struck Draco, and he widened his
eyes.

“You son of a bitch!” Draco exclaimed. “Is this your true intention?
Luring Harry here? You’re a sick bastard! He won’t come! He won’t
negotiate with a bastard like you!”

“You’re then telling me that his love for you isn’t that great. How
interesting! If that’s the case, you can stay here with those who truly love
you without having to worry about a thing anymore. Right?” Lucius smirked.
“Oh, Draco… I thought I’d raised you better. You shouldn’t have come
here alone... You know I’m no good. I thought you knew how my mind worked.”

“What do you want from him? You told me you don’t care about him! You told
me he’s pathetic! He isn’t in your way! Then why do you want him?” Draco
asked, quickly becoming desperate for not knowing what his father’s true
motives were.

“I thought you said he can take care of himself. Why do you worry about
him?”

“Father! Please! Don’t do this! Leave him alone! It’s me you want!”

“Indeed.” Lucius looked more and more pleased by Draco’s extreme anxiety.

“I’ll do whatever you want! But please, leave him alone!”

Draco had lost. He knew it. His father had finally succeeded in driving him into
a corner. But he couldn’t bear the thought of his father blackmailing Harry
for whatever dirty reason of his own. If it were in his power to spare Harry
from being the object of Lucius’ madness, he would do anything to protect his
lover.

Lucius kissed Draco softly on the lips before getting up. Draco felt sick.

“Finally, Draco! I was getting tired of finding reasons to convince you. But
since you are my son, and I know your disposition very well… Please, don’t
take what I’m about to do personally. Remember I love you.”

“…”

“Stupefy!” cried Lucius.

--

He was making progress, or so he thought. How many days had it been already?
One? Seven? A month? Harry didn’t know. He had been in a muddle for quite some
time, trapped in a very dark place, reliving his worst memories one by one,
fighting them like a lion as they strode along. He had lost count of how many
times he had battled Voldemort. So far he had always won, which was good. But he
still couldn’t get out of that awful place. Was there more to come? He was
tired. He didn’t want to stay there anymore. He had a place to return to.
There was a pair of blue eyes constantly calling out to him. But he just
couldn’t find his way home.

What else should he do? He was feeling restless already. Perhaps that was it.
Perhaps his last task was to tame his anxiety, learn how to control his hot
temper.

Sirius hadn’t learned any of that, though. His godfather was still
block-headed and wild. He still couldn’t get along well with Snape, even
though they had married. If Sirius had returned retaining his untamed nature,
then why couldn’t Harry? It wasn’t fair. Harry wanted to rush back to
Draco’s arms. It was where he belonged. He knew that now.

Then why couldn’t he go back? What was holding him? He sat down on the dry
soil, hid his face in his hands and cried like a baby. He didn’t know how it
happened, nor did he know how to stop. He just kept sobbing for a very long
time, calling himself stupid and useless aloud. He wanted to give up. He was so
exhausted. The only thing that gave him strength to wipe his tears away and
regain his self-control was the image of Draco. He took a deep breath and picked
himself up. There was a way out somewhere, and he would find it no matter what.

A light descended upon him, blinding him for a moment. He blinked, gulped, and
once his vision settled, he felt like crying again. Standing just a few feet
away from him was Remus. Next to him were his parents. Around them were many
people who had died in the war. Harry barely knew most of them, but he felt
responsible for their deaths even so. They had died because he had failed to
protect them all. Or so he thought.

“Harry!” exclaimed a beautiful red-haired woman, coming forth and opening
her arms welcoming.

Harry’s eyes shone brightly at the sight of his mother, and he didn’t think
twice before hugging her.

“Mum!” he grinned broadly.

“We’re so proud of you, honey,” she spoke softly in his ear, running her
hand down his head. “You’ve accomplished so much!”

Finding himself with a loss for words, Harry only nodded.

“Son,” said his father, hugging him also. “We’ve always been watching
over you. Always. You’re so brave! We really are proud of you.”

Harry stared at both of his parents with tears in his eyes. “This is a dream,
right?”

“Even if it is, isn’t it better to dream with us than to dream with
Voldemort?” James joked.

“Totally!” Harry exclaimed. “I’m… I don’t even know what to say.
Even Remus is here! Remus!”

Remus stepped forward and hugged him for a moment. “Harry! I’m glad to see
you. I was really worried about you.”

“Remus… Remus… I miss you! I have so much to say to you,” Harry began
emotionally. “The way we parted that day… I feel so guilty! I didn’t even
say goodbye to you. I was so stupid. I…”

“It’s okay, Harry. You don’t have to feel this way. It wasn’t your
fault. You were hurt. You didn’t know what was going to happen.”

“But if I had asked you to stay…”

“I wouldn’t have listened to you anyway,” said Remus. “What do you feel
guilty for? I told you many times that what happened to Sirius wasn’t your
fault. What happened to me wasn’t your fault either. If someone is to blame
for everything, that person is Voldemort. Now that we’re finally free from
him, we can rest in peace. We all deserve some rest, and that includes you.”

“Give yourself a break, son,” said James. “You don’t need to worry about
Voldemort anymore. He’s nothing but a memory now. It’s time to move on.”

“Indeed!” Lily enlaced her hand in his and squeezed it. “You should take
your time to live and to fall in love properly. There’s a certain someone who
needs you desperately.”

Harry blushed. “You know about…”

Lily and James nodded.

“And you don’t mind? I mean… it isn’t… a girl…” Harry stuttered.

“You love him, don’t you?” asked Lily.

“Yes, I do! As crazy as that sounds, I do love him,” Harry answered with a
smile.

“And he loves you. That’s more than enough for us,” said Lily.

“Besides, he helped you,” pointed out James. “He made you learn how to
appreciate life again.”

“Yes. So now it’s time to go back, Harry. It’s time that you help him.”

“Help him? What do you mean?” Harry asked worriedly.

Lily smiled feebly. “He needs you back now. And when you come face to face
with him, think of all the good things that have happened between you two before
hasting a decision.”

“But…”

“We love you, son. Don’t worry about a thing anymore. Just go after your own
happiness. You deserve it,” said his father. “Goodbye.”

Lily, James and Remus waved at him as their bodies slowly faded into a cloudy
mist.

“No! Wait! That’s not fair!” Harry complained, watching them go. “I have
a lot to talk about! I haven’t even said goodbye to you properly! Dammit! Mum!
Dad! Remus! Don’t leave now! What the f…”

Harry was pulled out of dreamland abruptly, and as he opened his eyes he saw Tei
Pei smiling at him. Harry felt disoriented at first, but when he finally
regained his senses, he felt like going for Tei Pei’s thin throat.

“You! I was with them and you pulled me out! Why?” he asked the little man.
“You’re the devil! Wasn’t it part of my recovery to make peace with myself
and my dead relatives?”

“You’ve accomplished enough, I think,” answered Tei Pei with his usual
low, soft voice. “If you want, we can go further. You can make contact with
your beloved ones again. But I don’t recommend it. I don’t think you need
it.”

“I thought you said I was fucked up when I got here!”

Tei Pei’s calm expression remained unaltered when he said, “I never use the
‘F’ word, Harry Potter. What I did tell you was that you were letting your
fears get in the way of your life. The war caused you too much pain to bear
alone, but still you decided to deal with everything your own way. And look what
happened to you. You became bitter and cold. But how do you feel now?”

“Apart from being very pissed off?”

“Yes, apart from that.”

Harry raised an eyebrow as he pondered about his present state of mind, and was
surprised to realise that was feeling invigorated. He could suddenly feel every
cell of his body, every beat of his heart.

“I feel… great!” he answered with a big smile. “Oh, my god! I feel
wonderful!”

It had been such a long time since he had felt like he could conquer the world
that he felt thrilled and amazed by the energy his body had just gained.

“I thought I would wake up feeling like shit! How long have I been out?”

“Oh, just one day.”

“ONE DAY? Impossible!” Harry exclaimed, astonished. “It felt like forever
in there!”

“It usually does. Sirius’ case was much more difficult. I guess… your soul
wasn’t as damaged as I thought. And you are quite a strong wizard after all.
Besides, you should also thank your lover. It seems that he helped you heal your
heart.”

Harry smiled. “He did, didn’t he? That’s really amazing. It’d have been
nice if you had let me stay with my parents and Remus a little longer, but… I
guess it’s time for me to go home, right? Go home… to him.” And then he
remembered what his parents had told him about Draco, and he worried. “Tei
Pei, my parents told me that Draco needs my help. Is he in trouble?”

Tei Pei shrugged. “How should I know? I’m not a Seer.”

Harry made a face. “You could have fooled me… Seriously, is there something
wrong with him?”

“That is something you’ll have to check out for yourself. My job here is
over. You’ve conquered your fears and you’re finally free from most of the
worries that weighted your heart. I suppose that, had we have more time, we
could have done something to ease your wild spirit and hot-temper. But I guess
you’re like your godfather in that matter, and he was a lost case from the
start… Don’t be too stubborn, though. I’m sure you’ll learn how to
control your temper over the years. Life will be your teacher if you prove
yourself to be a hard-working student. And you are, Harry Potter. You are. Your
healing process was amazingly fast. I’m impressed! My advice to you now is:
open yourself to the new and to forgiveness. If you learn how to do this,
you’ll live happily ever after,” finished Tei Pei with a broad and gentle
smile.

“So I’m free to go?” Harry asked anxiously.

“Yes, Mr Potter. You’re free to go, unless you want to enjoy the pleasure of
my company and the beautiful landscape around us for a little longer… But I
sense that your mind is already somewhere else.” Tei Pei grinned. “So go
calm down your restless heart with the person you love.”

“I will. Thank you,” Harry said, emotionally.

Harry ran to tell Sirius the good news. Two hours later, they had packed and
were ready to leave. Harry thanked Tei Pei profusely while Sirius promised the
little man he would come back later in the future to work on his temper. Harry
gave that beautiful land one last look, thinking how much he would miss it. It
was a mystical place indeed, and he would never forget it.

Now that he finally felt free from his past, he was ready to accept Draco in his
life unreservedly. He couldn’t wait to see Draco. Would he notice something
different in Harry? Later on, when he and Sirius were properly seated in a train
to London, he asked him the same question.

“Yeah, I think you are different,” said Sirius with a smile. “You look
more at ease. But Harry… How should I say this?”

“Say what?”

“Well…” Sirius stared at his Godson. “I know by personal experience what
your feelings are right now. But… Just because you could solve one problem, it
doesn’t mean all of the others will go away.”

Harry frowned. “Meaning?”

“Meaning…” Sirius looked away as if he was hiding something from Harry.
“That you’ll only know for sure if you’ve learned your lesson well when
facing another problem.”

“Don’t damp my spirits!” Harry exclaimed. “You’re jealous because you
took a year to recover while my staying took less than two months!”

Sirius gave Harry a weak smile. “I hope you’re fully recovered, Harry, from
the bottom of my heart.”

Harry felt as if there was something behind that smile, and he knew for sure
something was wrong when Sirius kept averting his eyes.

“What? What’s the matter?” he asked with suspicion.

“Nothing.”

“Sirius! You’re lying! What’s wrong?” Harry gripped his Godfather’s
arm firmly. “Is it something to do with Draco?” Sirius looked at him with
surprise, and Harry’s heart skipped a beat. “Jesus, Sirius! What? Have you
talked to Snape?”

Sirius slowly nodded his head. “Yes. I talked to him this morning. I wanted to
let him know we were coming back. He’s at Grimmauld Place.”

“And?” Harry pressured him anxiously.

Sirius bit his lower lip. “I was planning to wait until we got there to tell
you this…”

“TELL ME WHAT?”

“Your nightmare, Harry… It was real,” Sirius blurted. “Draco was
attacked and his apartment was destroyed. Nothing serious happened to him; as
you well know. After all, you talked to him that day. But… It seems things got
more complicated. You see… Lucius is out of jail.”

Harry closed his eyes. Suddenly, the world seemed out of focus. “Please, tell
me Draco is okay.”

“That’s the thing. I don’t know. Severus doesn’t know either. Lucius has
been tormenting Draco ever since he got put under house arrest. And yesterday
Draco left to talk to his father and… so far he’s failed to return to
Grimmauld Place.”



                                Kapitel 46: 46.
                                ---------------


46.
The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, now Harry’s, was in uproar.

While Severus explained the truth about Draco, Bellatrix and Lucius to a very
angry Harry, Sirius had a heated discussion with his mother’s portrait in the
hallway. Between Mrs Black’s shrieks of ‘Why aren’t you dead, you piece of
scum?’ and Harry’s shouting of ‘He lied to me, that damn bastard! And you!
I should have never trusted you!’ Severus felt a very bad migraine coming on.
He knew it would only get worse from that moment on since he had yet to tell
Harry about Johnson Smear and his past as Draco’s abusive lover.

Severus was worried about Draco, but he didn’t think Lucius would do anything
drastic to his son. Yet. Although Lucius was a sick bastard, Draco was his only
heir. Then again, Lucius had allowed Smear to torture Draco.

Severus sighed. He felt guilty enough for letting Draco face Lucius alone
without Harry reminding him about it every two seconds. But what was he supposed
to do? He knew how important it was for Draco to deal with that particular
matter on his own. He had tried to explain this to the Gryffindor brat also, but
would he listen? No.

Harry’s enraged speech was getting on his nerves. That and Mrs Black fight
with Sirius would soon make him lose his mind for good.

“Sirius!” Severus shouted. “Would you please shut that damn portrait
up?”

“I don’t know how!” Sirius shouted back. “Why don’t you come here and
help me? Do you think I enjoy hearing this hag? I know I’m a masochist for
marrying you, but listening to my mother screaming in my ears is much worse than
having to put up with you in a very bad mood!”

Severus grunted something. Mrs Black cried about what she had done to deserve
such an ungrateful son, who was also a bloody fag on top of it all.

Harry, who had been pacing frenetically around the living room since Severus had
begun to explain the situation, ran towards Mrs Black’s portrait, pointed his
wand at her and cast the spell that Draco had taught him. In a few seconds, Mrs
Black was put to sleep and the house went silent.

But that truce didn’t last long. Harry quickly went back to the living room to
continue his flaming speech about Draco’s imprudence and Severus’ lack of
balls.

“Why did you let him go to Malfoy Manor if you knew Lucius’ intentions
weren’t good?” Harry asked for the tenth time, making Severus really
consider the possibility of hexing him.

“I already explained it to you, Potter. I won’t bother anymore.”

“You should bother, you bastard!” Harry attacked him, not afraid of
Severus’ murderous look. “You should have stopped him! You should at least
have followed him!”

“Clearly, you don’t know much about a Slytherin’s pride,” Severus
retorted. “Draco didn’t want me to go, Potter. He wanted to deal with Lucius
alone. You go and try to stop a Slytherin!”

“Well, you’re one. You ought to do it! Besides, that’s just bullshit! You
just didn’t want to get involved. You failed him!”

“Oh, please! Don’t come talk to me about not getting involved! I was the one
who rescued Draco from a miserable life! I saved him! You have no idea what he
went through, what he had to endure in the past.”

“What are you talking about? What happened to him in the past that was so
horrible?”

Severus sat down on the couch and sighed tiredly. Should he tell Harry
everything? The boy seemed eager to know more, which meant that he had already
pondered about it. Severus knew that Draco wanted to be the one to tell Harry
about Smear. But Draco wasn’t there. It was important that Harry knew the
whole truth. It would put his love for Draco into a very hard test, but a
necessary one.

Without dwelling on it too much, Severus tossed yesterday’s newspaper towards
Harry. As Harry scanned the article, Severus prepared his ears to hear more
shouting, but was surprised to hear nothing at all.

“What is it, Harry?” asked Sirius worriedly.

Severus stared at Harry and his heart softened a little. Not for the first time
in his life, he felt sympathy for the boy. The hot-tempered Harry, who had come
through the door spitting vengeful words, became deadly silent. His cheeks,
which had been of a vivid shade of red just a few moments ago, were now very
pale.

Severus could only imagine the boy’s feelings. Harry was probably in a
terrible state of confusion and betrayal. Severus only hoped that Harry’s love
was strong enough to surpass those things because Draco needed all the love he
could get. And if Harry wasn’t able to see that, then he didn’t deserve
Draco.

“Harry?” called Sirius worriedly, standing next to his godson and reading
the newspaper over his shoulder. His eyes widened, and he exclaimed, “What
the…! What are they talking about? Severus!” Sirius looked at his husband in
search for a reasonable explanation. “What’s this? Draco was a…?”

Severus sighed. “Male prostitute? Yes, for a short period of time.” Harry
went even paler. Severus had the impression that he was about to throw up.
Sirius gasped.

“The article tells only lies about what happened to him, though,” Severus
went on. “Potter, you must understand that… Potter!” Severus shouted to
wake Harry up. “Did you hear me? Charles Hagen’s article is a piece of crap!
Draco didn’t sell himself because he wanted to. His ex-boyfriend forced him do
it. Johnson Smear, the one who attacked him recently, was very charming in the
beginning of their relationship, and he was able to lure Draco into his web with
his smooth-talk. At the time Draco was going through a rough phase. The
wizarding world had given his back to him because he was a Malfoy. He couldn’t
go back to his parents’ house, nor did he want to, because they couldn’t
accept him being a homosexual. And the Muggle world was alien to him. Draco was
raised to despise the Muggles. He didn’t know anything about them. So Draco
thought of Smear as his salvation. Unfortunately, Smear showed him what hell
really felt like.”

Severus waited for some reply, but Harry remained mute. It seemed as if the life
had been sucked out of him. Neither Severus nor Sirius did anything to comfort
him. Sirius did try it, but Harry just shook his head in a clear refusal.

“Keep talking,” Harry finally said it in a low, hoarse voice.

Severus admired his courage.

“Draco was too young at the time. He was scared, alone and desperate. Then
Smear came along promising him the world. He only bought it because he was eager
to feel another human being’s warmth and tenderness. But he wasn’t stupid.
He soon realised that Smear wasn’t a good person. He tried to leave and
that’s when his problems really started. Smear became violent and abusive. He
locked Draco up and then made him sell himself to a few of his richer clients.
You see, Smear ran a brothel in Knockturn Alley. Draco was his most precious
merchandise.”

Harry was feeling nauseated. He wanted to tell Severus to stop talking because
he didn’t want to hear anything anymore. But his mouth was sealed. He knew he
had to listen to the whole thing no matter how painful it was. So he just let
Severus continue.

“Draco didn’t give in so easily. He fought as much as he could. Smear began
to drug him to make him submissive.”

The words ripped Harry’s heart apart. He felt out of breath.

“Severus… That’s enough,” said Sirius worried about his godson’s
pallid complexion.

“No,” Harry said, not knowing how he found strength to say that. “I need
to know everything.”

“I think we’ve heard enough, Harry,” Sirius replied. “What more do you
want? The details?”

“No, of course not! But I know there is more. Right?” Harry looked at
Severus with such piercing eyes that the older man almost quiver.

“There is,” Severus said, averting Harry’s eyes.

What he had to say now would demand too much of him. He also needed to prepare
himself for the possibility of being attacked by Harry. The raven-haired man
would certainly be furious at him for letting Draco meet Lucius alone when he
knew that Lucius was responsible for those atrocious acts of violence.

“What I’m about to tell you was what hurt Draco the most. He found out later
that his parents had paid Smear to violate him repeatedly as a way of curing his
disease. They thought that Draco would surely go back to the Manor after
experiencing something like this. But the opposite happened. Draco swore never
to see them again.” Severus gave a hollow laughter. “How I hated Lucius when
I heard about this. I didn’t think he was capable of doing something like that
to his own son… Draco was destroyed when I came to his aid. I thought he would
never recover from the pain and humiliation that Smear made him experience. But
Draco is strong. He managed to heal himself faster than I thought he would. I
left him with the Weasleys for a while. He got better by the day. He even found
himself a career. I’m very proud of my godson, Potter. And if you hurt him
even more I’ll make you suffer.”

Severus’ last words were emotional and threatening. If Harry dared speak ill
of Draco, or even think bad of him, Severus would defend his godson as if Draco
was his flesh and blood. But his hard countenance softened once again when he
saw silent tears running down Harry’s cheeks.

Harry looked devastated, but Severus noticed that his eyes were flaming
dangerously. He prepared himself for the blow that he knew was coming to him.
And he wasn’t wrong.

“YOU! HOW COULD YOU? When you knew Lucius had done such a terrible thing to
his own son! How could you let Draco face him alone?” Harry shouted, going for
Severus’ throat. Sirius held him back quickly. Although he understood
Harry’s pain, Severus was his husband. He would have the pleasure of torturing
him later.

“LET ME GO, SIRIUS!” Harry struggled to escape Sirius’ firm grip without
any success. “I can’t believe you’re on his side!”

“I’m not on his side. But please, calm down! You won’t help Draco like
this! You need to get a grip!” Sirius tried to appease him. “Severus was
wrong, but he did try to stop Draco! You heard him. Draco was determined to go
no matter what.”

Harry’s eyes glowed with fury. He glared at Severus and Sirius. “Okay. I
know how stubborn that idiot can be.”

Severus wanted to add a ‘look who’s talking’ comment, but decided to stay
quiet. Harry was at his limit. The wrong sentence could make him lose his grip
on his magical powers.

“But I still think you were wrong,” Harry finished, making a huge effort to
hold back his anger.

Severus knew that very well. He knew he had failed his godson. He deserved
Harry’s fury and more. The only excuse he could give was that he hadn’t done
anything yet because Sirius had told him to wait for their arrival. Not that
Severus needed their help. He just thought it was the right thing to do since
neither Sirius nor Harry knew exactly what was going on in Draco’s life.

“Take me to the Manor,” Harry ordered.

“I will. But Potter… There’s something I must know.”

“What?” Harry snarled.

“Do you love Draco?”

The question took Harry by surprise and confused him for a moment. “Why are
you…?”

“Do you?” Severus insisted. The answer to that question was very important.

Harry gulped. “Yes.”

“Even though you know about Smear and the rest?”

Harry nodded without quivering. “It wasn’t his fault, right? Good thing that
Smear is dead. I’d have killed him otherwise.”

Severus believed him. “I just asked because Draco has suffered enough.”

“Snape, Draco and I have a complicated past, so I can’t promise you that I
will never hurt him. He hurt me by not trusting me enough to tell me about what
had happened…”

“You don’t understand, Potter! Can’t you see how difficult it is for him
to keep such a secret from you? He…”

“I don’t care!” Harry interrupted him. “That’s between Draco and me.
What matters right now is to find out what Lucius did to him. The rest can
wait.”

Severus agreed, even if against his will. He didn’t like to receive orders
from Potter, though. “Okay, then. I’ll take you to the Manor. I will back
you up.”

“I don’t need back up. I can handle Lucius Malfoy with my eyes closed.”

Severus made a face. “You and Draco really deserve each other… You’re both
stubborn and block-headed…”

“Harry, we’re going with you,” said Sirius resolutely. “That’s
settled. So let’s move, people! We have a rescue to perform.”

“You’ll stay, Sirius,” said Harry and Severus in unison.

Sirius stared at them incredulously. “Like hell I will!”

“Nobody knows you’re alive, you prick!” Severus exclaimed. “Didn’t we
agree to keep this a secret? You know there are still people out there that
would love to kill you.”

“I won’t let my godson face this alone! I’m not you!” Sirius attacked.

Severus grunted. “You’re such a… Did you forget that your recklessness in
the past was what made you fall through the veil? You didn’t help Potter back
then! You only brought him pain! When are you going to learn, Sirius? And I’m
not just saying that because I want to hurt you, but because I won’t stand to
lose you again.”

Sirius’ eyes flickered. He got near his husband and held him in a tight hug.
“Severus… I love you too, you old bat.”

On one hand, Severus felt uncomfortable for displaying such a pathetic scene in
front of Harry, but on the other he had missed Sirius too much to care about
what the brat thought. It was the first time Sirius touched him since his
arrival.

Far from thinking that the scene was pathetic, Harry was deeply touched. It made
him miss Draco even more.

“Sirius, you can come if you want,” said Harry, making Severus throw him a
dark look. “But you and Snape will wait for me outside the Manor.”

“You’re acting just like Draco,” Severus pointed out with a grimace.

Harry had strength to smile. “I guess that’s why we’re soul mates in the
first place.”

Severus returned the smile. “Okay, Potter. Let’s rescue your lady.”

--

Harry expected to find many wards around Malfoy Manor, but surprisingly he found
none. The whole place looked quite deserted with the exception of a house-elf
named Trinity that didn’t seem to notice Harry’s presence at all. Trinity
was scared enough of Hermione Granger and her SPEW speech.

Harry was very surprised to see her. Snape hadn’t told anyone else about
Draco.

“Hermione!” Harry called out.

Hermione turned around and smiled broadly when she spotted her friend.

“Harry!” She ran towards him and gave him a quick but tight hug. “We
missed you so much! When did you arrive?”

“This morning, after a long day’s journey. I didn’t expect to meet you
here. So you already know…”

“No, she doesn’t,” interrupted Lucius from the top of the spiral marble
stair. “I invited her here to discuss something related to Draco. She
doesn’t know that I hold him in my possession.”

Harry clenched his fists. He wanted nothing more than to point his wand at
Lucius and hex him until the next century. All the rage he had felt while
hearing about what that monster had done to Draco was multiplied by a hundred.
But before crushing Lucius the way he wanted to, he needed to find out where
Draco was locked up.

“Hermione, this monster kidnapped Draco!” Harry said between his teeth.
“And I’m here to get him back!”

Lucius sneered. “I’m actually very glad to see you, Potter. Or should I call
you my son-in-law? Won’t you give your new Papa a hug?”

“Only to stab you in the back,” snarled Harry.

“Ah! You’re already talking like a Malfoy! I’m touched,” Lucius
smirked.

“Cut the crap, Malfoy! Where’s Draco?”

“He’s in his room, and he says he won’t come out,” said Hermione, to
Lucius and Harry’s surprise. “He’s being an arse for a change…”

“How do you know?” Lucius asked her.

“Contrary to what you believe, sir, I do know what’s going on. Draco called
me to tell me that he wouldn’t be showing up to work because he was being kept
captive in his parents’ house. He was also drugged, I could tell. His voice
seemed too slow for my taste. Of course, since he has extensive Auror training,
he knows how to fight the effects of the drug and escape from his golden prison.
But surprisingly, he doesn’t want to. He says he needs to stay and figure out
what your plans are.”

“He called you? What else did he say?” Harry asked anxiously.

“Well…”

“Nonsense! How could he have called you? I confiscated his wand!” Lucius
exclaimed.

“You forgot to confiscate his mobile phone,” said Hermione triumphally.
“You know, that little Muggle device… Oh, wait. You don’t know. You’ve
been in jailed. Not only that, but you also don’t really care about anything
Muggle, right? Good for us. Thanks to your ignorance, Draco was able to contact
me without using magic! Talk about irony!”

Harry smiled. He had never felt so proud of her cocky attitude as he did now.
Lucius, on the other hand, seemed quite pissed off.

The older Malfoy frowned. “Don’t get so overconfident, mudblood. I still
have the upper hand. Draco is in my possession, don’t forget that.”

“And you don’t forget that we’re still watching you. You might have bought
your way out of Azkaban, but there are still people in the Ministry who truly
believe in justice and are just waiting to get their hands on you again. If I
were you, I’d be very careful,” she said without wavering. Harry felt like
kissing her. “Why did you invite me here?”

“Actually, you were my second choice. I only called you here because Potter
seemed to have been out of reach. I needed you to pass him my message. Now that
he’s here, I don’t need you anymore. You don’t know how painful it is to
dirty this walls with your presence.”

“It is your family who has dirtied these walls, not her!” Harry exclaimed
angrily, pointing his wand at Lucius. “Now bring me to Draco!”

“Why? You heard your mudblood friend. Draco wishes to stay,” said Lucius
with an unpleasant smile.

“I don’t care! I’m taking him with me. Don’t try to stop me, or you’ll
feel my anger,” Harry threatened.

“Strong words. Are you ready to kill me for my son? Do you love him that
much?” Lucius asked.

“Yes!” Harry answered without hesitation.

“Oh, but then you’d be tossed in jail,” Lucius pointed out.

“I’ll testify in his behalf,” Hermione quickly said. “I’ll tell the
court it was self-defence.”

“Hmmm…” Lucius caressed the top of his cane thoughtfully. “Indeed. But
I’ve already set in motion a defamation campaign against Potter and Draco. I
saw the Daily Prophet’s poll. People are highly against their relationship.
Plus, they think that Draco is trying to take my place and control my empire,
which means that Harry Potter is also involved in this horrible scheme. If you
kill me, your friends might help in absolving you, Potter, but the public will
be against you. You’ll be treated like a criminal. The funny thing about
people is that they have such a short memory. You’d think that they’d be
forever grateful to their hero for vanquishing the Dark Lord. But once
prosperity comes, people tend to forget about the bad things of the past. They
act as if nothing has ever happened. That’s people for you, Potter. They
won’t go easy on you, not even for killing a criminal like myself.” Lucius
stopped to savour the effect of his words on both of them.

“What do you want?” Harry asked between his teeth.

“Like your friend says, there are still people against me at the Ministry. The
ones who are by my side are hesitating to extinguish my sentence completely. I
want my freedom, and I want my name cleaned.”

Harry frowned. “So? What does that have to do with me?”

“I want you to help me with The Wizengamot. Use your influence to free me more
quickly.”

“What? No way!” Harry almost laughed madly. Did Lucius really think that he
could pull off something like that with The Wizengamot? Even if that was
possible, he would never do it.

“Not even for Draco’s sake?” Lucius said, playing the devil’s advocate.
“I’m disappointed. I thought you loved my son.”
“I do! But…”

“You’d rather choose what’s right, what’s just,” Lucius cut across him
with a snigger. “That’s so honourable of you, Potter. You’d rather
sacrifice your love for the good of the nation. It’s very poetical. I feel
tears in my eyes.”

Harry clenched his fists. Just casting a spell on Lucius wouldn’t do for him.
He needed to use physical force, even if only once.

“I don’t know people from The Wizengamot,” Harry snarled. “I have no
influence what-so-ever on the Ministry.”

“Very well then.” Lucius stood up erectly and sniggered. “Draco stays. To
be honest, whatever your answer is I win, Potter. I do want my freedom back. But
to have Draco to myself again is quite a reward. It is something that I’ve
been looking forward to ever since I was imprisoned. I was too lenient on him
before.”

Harry gasped at such preposterous lie. Lucius only smiled as he continued,
“While in prison, I kept thinking that such a stubborn person like Draco needs
to be held on a very strong leash. I got to the conclusion that what he needs is
to have his memory altered. I haven’t tried that yet. Maybe I won’t be able
to cure his homosexuality, but I will make him forget you.”

“You sick bastard!” Harry shouted, furious. “You can do whatever you want
with my bloody reputation! I don’t care! But I’m taking Draco with me today.
Try to stop me if you can! I want nothing more than to beat you up!”

The green eyes sparkled with a fury that made Lucius quiver.

“I won’t kill you, but I’ll torture you enough that you’ll wish you were
dead,” Harry threatened.

Lucius gripped his trembled hands on the head of his cane.

“If I were you I’d let Draco go without further ado,” suggested Hermione.
“Because once Harry loses his grip, he’s quite unstoppable…”

“Draco wishes to stay,” Lucius stated.

“I doubt that,” Harry said.

“All you have to do is help me, Potter. Then Draco will be yours again, and
I’ll leave you two alone.”

“Or…” Harry pointed his wand at Lucius without wavering. “I could just
stupefy you, take you to the Ministry, and charge you for kidnapping your son
and threatening not only a civilian but also a member of the Auror
Headquarters.”

Lucius gripped the top of his cane harder. “So that’s how thing will
be…”

“Yes. That’s exactly how things will be,” Harry snarled.

“And you don’t care if anything happens to Draco…” Lucius pointed out
viciously.

“If you do anything to him, I swear I kill you without any mercy!” Harry
shouted with anger. “You have a choice. Give up and I’ll spare your life.
But I won’t go easy on you if you keep using your own son as a shield.”

Lucius smiled wryly. “Very well, Potter. You give me no choice but to do
something that I should have done a long time ago.”

In a fast movement, Lucius took his wand out of his cane and cast a spell on
Harry’s direction. Although Harry was out of shape, he was able to deflect it
a second before it hit him. Hermione sought shelter behind a large Greek pillar,
while Harry went hiding behind the opposite one.

The entrance Hall of the Malfoy Mansion turned into a battlefield with spells
flying all over the place and sparing nothing in their way. Lucius didn’t seem
to care about the consequences of his actions. He was too blinded by hate and
wanted nothing more than to finish Harry off.

“Draco will be so pleased when he finds out that you don’t love him at all,
Potter,” shouted Lucius, throwing a spell on Harry’s direction. The ray of
light hit the wall close to the front door and opened a big hole in it.

“This has nothing to do with my love for Draco, you bloody bastard! I do love
him! And I’ll fight for him until I don’t have any energy left in my
body!” Harry shouted back, casting a spell towards Lucius and hitting a big
portrait at the top of the marble stairs. The old man in it ran away to another
portrait screaming.

The arrival of Sirius and Severus staggered Lucius for a moment.

“What is this? A ghost?” he asked with a frown.

Sirius smiled dryly. “Indeed. I’ve come back from the dead to haunt you!”

Severus pushed Sirius to the side before he could be hit Lucius’ spell. Harry
grunted something. Severus scowled at him.

“What? How was I supposed to keep him away?” Severus asked.

“Well, you should have! Hermione and I have things under control here!”
Harry said.

Severus looked around and sneered. “Yes, I can see that. You’re handling
things so well that the house is being destroyed.”

Harry thought about replying, but Hermione’s scream caught his attention.

“Hermione!” he shouted. “Are you hit?”

“I’m ok!” she assured him from the other side of the hall. “Just a
scratch… A damn scratch…”

“Bugger!” Harry sighed. “We are four against one and yet we can’t take
him down!”

“There’s that. And there’s the fact that you’re the Great Harry
Potter,” sneered Severus. “To think that you were the one who defeated Lord
Voldemort…”

Harry made a face. He knew he was out of shape without people having to tell
him.

“I propose that we all attack him at once,” Sirius suggested with eyes
filled with excitement.

Severus and Harry stared at him with a frown.

“What?” Sirius asked, annoyed by their looks.

“You’re hopeless, Sirius,” said Severus. Sirius just shrugged.

“All right, Potter! Here’s what I’ll do!” shouted Lucius all of a
sudden. “I’ll run away, and I’ll take Draco with me. You’ll never see
him again. How’s that? Do you still refuse to help me?”

“You aren’t going anywhere!” Harry bellowed.

“Fine! Your wish is my command. I’ll… Ugh!”

They heard a loud ‘thump’, and the Mansion went quiet. Harry frowned.
Carefully, he glimpsed at Lucius and saw him with his face flat on the floor at
the top of the stairs. He had been hit. He looked at Hermione wondering if she
had been responsible for stunning him, but his friend seemed as confused as
him.

He looked at Lucius’ body again and spotted Narcissa Malfoy elegantly dressed
in a silky light blue robe embroidered with small diamonds, carrying her wand in
one hand and a suitcase in the other.

She tossed the suitcase carelessly towards Harry’s feet and said, “You’ll
find enough evidence against my husband in that suitcase to put him behind bars
for a long time. In exchange, I want to be left alone. And I want Lucius’
memory changed so he won’t ever find out that I was the one who betrayed
him.” She turned to Hermione. “I expect you to make good use of those
papers. Don’t disappoint me. I don’t want to see Lucius in this house again
for at least sixth years.” Then she turned to Harry again. “As for you,
Draco is in his room. Take him away. I don’t want him in this house
anymore.”

“Why are you doing this?” asked Hermione, curious.

Narcissa sighed, upset. “Not that it is any of your business, but I got used
to be in charge while Lucius was in prison. Let’s just say that I got tired of
being ordered around. I have my own agenda now. Besides, he killed my sister.
I’ll never forgive him for this.”

“Fine by us!” Sirius exclaimed, ignoring Narcissa’s shock to see him and
running straight to where Lucius was laying to bind him.

“You’re alive!” she exclaimed, disgusted.

“Yes, dear cousin, I am alive.” Sirius grinned.

Hermione, who had been deeply stunned to see him as well, went to stand beside
Sirius after she had got over from her original shock. She would ask Harry about
it later. Her work came first.

“I’ll do what you say,” Hermione said to Narcissa. “But not before
checking if that suitcase is really full of evidence or if it is nothing. I’m
sorry, but I’ll have to take you to the Ministry with me. I promise you,
though, that Lucius won’t know you’re there, or that you’ve helped us.”

Narcissa didn’t seem very pleased with that arrangement, but since they were
four against one, she agreed. “All right. But I will not be placed into one of
those dirty cells!”

“So you’ll leave us alone,” said Harry, looking at her. “You promise
that once Lucius is thrown in jail again you will disappear and never bother
Draco again?”

Narcissa’s cold blue eyes that reminded him so much of Draco’s when he was
still a spoiled brat pierced through him. “Yes, Potter, I promise you. Draco
ceased to be my son the moment he gave into his primitive urges. He’s all
yours. Trinity will show you the way to Draco’s chambers.”

The house-elf bowed his head at the sight of Harry. The raven-haired man still
glanced one last time at Narcissa before following Trinity through the endless
corridors of the Mansion.

“Be careful, Harry!” warned him Sirius.

“I will,” Harry said.

He didn’t face any problems along the way. Trinity took a golden key from her
rags and unlocked the door of Draco’s room. Then she bowed again and left
Harry alone.

Harry’s heart beat faster at the sight of Draco sleeping soundly on the bed.
He fought against the urge to take him in his arms and squeeze him tightly.
Draco looked so fragile that he feared he would break him in his despair to feel
him. He sat next to the blond and stroked his face tenderly. His fingers tingled
as they get to touch Draco again. He had missed that perfect smooth skin so
much. Leaning forward, he placed a soft kiss on Draco’s lips. Draco’s eyes
opened slowly.

“Harry? Is that really you? What are you doing here? What happened?” Draco
asked dizzily.

Harry placed another kiss on his lips. “Don’t worry my love. Everything is
ok now. I’ve come to take you home with me.”



                                Kapitel 47: 47.
                                ---------------


47.
Draco would never forget the stress he had to undergo in that cold beginning of
December. During the two weeks that followed, he had endured a series of trials
and endless depositions in Courtroom Ten. It had been hours and hours of
humiliation, and they had taken extreme courage.

It hadn’t been easy to testify against Lucius having him only a few feet away
staring at Draco with murderous eyes. It had been even harder to expose his
personal life to everyone in Courtroom Ten. But it had to be done. Smear,
torture, violence, raping... And then the most difficult thing of all: to tell
everyone that Lucius had been the one behind that horrible scheme.

His efforts had been worthy, though. His deposition was a final – and
definitive – blow in Lucius’ large sheet of crimes. It was what it took to
lock him away forever. As Lucius was taken away by a group of five Aurors –
one of them being Hermione – he shot Draco one last look of hatred that told
him to watch his back from that moment on because he hadn’t heard the last of
Lucius Malfoy.

Throughout that fortnight, he barely had the time to talk to Harry properly. It
terrified him what Harry might think of him after hearing his true past story.
Although Harry had tried to talk to him before, Draco had preferred to postpone
their conversation until after Lucius’ trial.

Draco had isolated himself and faced his demons alone. He had ignored Harry’s
insistent calls as much as he could. In his mind, he thought he had to go down
that path of his old life alone, and close it once and for all before starting a
new one again. He delivered his letter of resignation under Hermione and Boss’
protests and went hiding in a Muggle hotel close to the Ministry.

The truth was that he was feeling like a loser and a failure. His pride was
shattered. He had been so certain of himself. He had thought of himself as
unbreakable, but two encounters with Lucius had proven him wrong. He had let
himself be taken in a childish trap, and hadn’t even bothered trying to get
out on his own. It had taken Hermione and Harry to free him. But worse, it had
taken his mother’s help to finally nail Lucius.

He was left under the impression that he had been living a lie until now. He was
devastated and depressed. Once upon a time, he had been one of the best Aurors
in the Headquarters. He had a great apartment and a great life. Now he was just
pathetic.

He started to drink alcohol every night to help him sleep, which only served to
make him even more miserable.

On Saturday night, a day after Lucius was finally imprisoned for good, a very
pissed off Harry Potter burst into his hotel room without his consent, took him
out of bed and shook him until Draco had no choice but to react.

“What the fuck, Potter! Let me go!” Draco shouted. He pushed Harry away with
all his might, but he was the one who ended up losing his balance and falling
with his butt flat on the bed.

Because his head was still feeling the effects of the bourbon he had drunk the
previous night, he felt the room spin.

“What the fuck do you want?” he asked Harry in a very bad mood.

Harry crossed his arms and raised a brow.

“What do I want? Well, let me see. I’m looking for Draco Malfoy, my
boyfriend. Have you seen him anywhere?” Harry asked quite seriously.

Draco made a face. “Stop trying to be funny.”

“Am I laughing?”

Draco looked up and saw that indeed, Harry looked quite solemn. He had never
seen him look like that. It also struck him how gorgeous and stunning Harry
looked. He hadn’t taken a good look at Harry since the raven-haired man had
come back from Tibet. He had missed quite a lot.

This was the new Harry Potter. He was wearing blue jeans, black sweater, black
leather jacket and a Gryffindor scarf around his neck.

He did not resemble one piece of the old and depressed Harry Potter he had met
in September. The green eyes that Draco adored so much were sparkling with life
and passion again.

Seeing Harry so well should have made him happy. But instead, it upset him. It
just proved to him that when compared to Harry, Draco was still a loser. He
wasn’t worthy of Harry’s love anymore.

The flaming green eyes captured his, and to his distress, Draco let himself fall
under their spell.

Draco sighed, too tired to carry on with his fury. He didn’t have the energy
to kick Harry out. As a matter of fact, he wanted the opposite. He wanted to
cling to Harry and never let him go, just like the pathetic person he was.

“Draco...” he heard Harry’s soft voice calling him. His heart beat faster.
Maybe Harry didn’t despise him for being such a weakling. Perhaps there was
still a chance for the two of them to work things out.

“Did you call me your boyfriend just now?” Draco asked, suddenly aware of
that fact.

It was Harry’s turn to sigh. “Yes. Do you still doubt that?”

Draco felt shaken. “I don’t know...” He wrapped his arms around himself
and lay down on his back. Then he stared at the ceiling. “I still can’t talk
to you, Harry. I’m not ready yet. I don’t want you to see me like this.
I’m horrible and pathetic.”

Harry grunted something. He opened his mouth once, twice, but he didn’t say
anything. Finally, he said harshly, “You do look awful. You have bags under
your eyes; your hair is as greasy as Snape’s on a bad day at Hogwarts.
You’re incredibly pale, and you seem to have lost some weight. And you have a
beard!”

Draco sat up straight and looked at him crossly. “I’m not that horrible!”

Harry frowned. “Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Because
it’s freaking me out. It freaks me out even more that I’m starting to want
the old narcissistic, conceited and vain Draco Malfoy back. You look just like
me when you first came into my house.”

Draco slowly walked towards the bathroom where he almost had a heart attack as
he saw his image in the mirror. He realised that not only did he feel awful, but
he also looked awful. And the worst part of it all was that he had let Harry see
him like that.

“Bugger!” he cursed, hiding his face in his hands. “I look hideous.”

“I told you so,” said Harry from the door of the bathroom.

Draco made a face. “Well, what did you expect? You’re not the only one
entitled to a breakdown! See why you shouldn’t be here? I didn’t want you to
see me like this!”

“Draco, I saw you having a breakdown once. It was quite scary. It was scarier
than seeing your dazzling fairy blond hair turn dirty and oily. And the beard…
Well, it’s kind of sexy, actually. It gives you this bad boy
fuck-my-brains-out look,” Harry said. “But the rest of you is not so
appealing… Maybe the last time was actually better. You were acting crazy, but
you were a lot more… interesting.”

“Just… shut up! You could at least be more sensitive to a person you just
called your boyfriend!” Draco shouted, slamming the door on Harry’s face and
locking it. “Just stay there! I’m going to take a shower.”

“I’m very sensitive!” Harry exclaimed, while Draco told him to go to hell.
Harry smiled.

When Harry first got into the room, he thought about taking things slow with
Draco. But then he remembered that when he was depressed, his fights with Draco
were what shook him out of that and made him feel alive again. He figured he
should try the same method with Draco. It seemed to be working by the way Draco
was reacting. He heard the water running, and he shouted, “Hey, Draco. Want
some company in there?”

Inside the bathroom, Draco sneered, “After you’ve flattered me so much?
After calling me unappealing? I’m sure you’d prefer to wait for me
outside.”

“Well, let’s face it. You’re not looking your best at the moment,” Harry
provoked him, happy that Draco was finally talking to him.

“I’ll show you, Potter! Just wait! I’ll look so dazzling you’ll get
blind when you see me!” shouted Draco, forgetting about his crisis for a while
to focus on putting himself together and showing Harry just how stunning he
could be.

Half an hour later, he got off the bathroom wearing only a towel wrapped loosely
around his waist. His face was clean and his hair was shining brightly again.
Harry’s eyes ogled him.

“See?” Draco put his hands on his waist, cocked his head and smiled wryly.
“I haven’t lost weight. In fact, I think I’ve actually gained some, which
far from making me chubby, it only makes more attractive than usual.”

“I can definitely see that,” Harry said hoarsely. His eyes sparkled with a
strong desire. Being away from Draco for so long had made his hunger increase.
But he needed to control himself. It wasn’t time to take Draco in his arms
yet. If he chose the wrong moment, Draco would run away from him like he had
been doing since Harry had come back.

Their eyes locked, and they stared at each other for a long time. After a while,
Harry took the initiative to come closer. Draco’s heart lost its regular pace
as he waited without moving.

“Are you feeling better now?” Harry asked, stopping just a few inches away
without touching him. “Can we talk?”

Draco leaned against the wall and sighed. He crossed his arms to hide his
trembling hands.

“I don’t know. What do you want me to say, Harry? How do you want me to look
at you after everything that has happened?” he asked sadly. “I’m afraid to
look at you.”

“Why?” Harry asked puzzled.

Draco stared at him as if he had gone insane. “Why? Because I don’t think
you can love me after hearing about Smear. I’m dirty, Harry. I don’t deserve
you. Besides, you saw just how fucked up my family really is. Not that you
didn’t know before, but now you actually saw it with your own eyes. Why would
you want to be with a guy like me with such a heavy background?” Draco looked
down. “I don’t like myself very much at the moment… So I guess you deserve
to be with someone who isn’t so complicated and weak. I’m afraid that when I
look into your eyes I’ll know for sure that you don’t want me anymore
because I’m too much trouble.”

Harry raised Draco’s chin so they could be face to face.

“You really are trouble! And I’m very, very angry with you,” Harry said,
making Draco’s eyes flicker. “I’m angry because you lied to me. Not about
Smear. I can understand why you didn’t tell me about him. We’ve been
together for a short period of time. There’s still a lot to know about each
other. I was angry because you didn’t tell what really happened to you the day
I called from Tibet. You told me everything was all right when it wasn’t!”

“I didn’t have the right to get in the way of your healing process,
Harry,” Draco tried to excuse himself. “I wanted you to come back, but I
didn’t want to be selfish! I wanted to be good for once! You have no idea how
difficult it was to tell you I was okay.”

Harry took a step back but kept his eyes on Draco. “What a time to be noble,
Draco! I don’t want you to be noble. Not about things like that.”

“But can’t you see how hard it was for me to choose not to tell you
anything? You’d have done the same thing if you were in my situation!” Draco
exclaimed, distressed.

“All right.” Harry agreed against his will. “I do understand why you
decided not to tell me. What I can’t understand is why you decided to confront
your father alone! It was the stupidest idea you’d ever had! Snape nearly gave
me a heart attack when he told me!”

Draco sighed. “I had to do it. Now this is something I don’t expect you to
understand. I’d do it all over again if I could.”

“What? Let yourself be trapped in such a ridiculous way?” Harry asked
incredulously.

“No!” Draco replied heatedly. “Can’t you see that this is the reason why
I can’t face anyone? I’m deeply ashamed of my failure. My pride as an Auror
was crushed! I had to deal with him alone, and I failed! I thought I had got
over my past, but I was so wrong.” Draco closed his eyes for a moment. Then he
slipped to the floor and hugged his legs. “I’m a failure. My past still
haunts me.”

Harry knelt down beside him. “So what? I’m also a failure! Don’t you
remember that just three months ago I was immersed in sorrow and
self-commiseration? It was thanks to your help that I found my way out of
it.”

Draco shook his head. “I had nothing to do with it. It was Sirius and your
trip to Tibet that made you get better.”

“Don’t be stupid!” Harry exclaimed. “It was you! You turned my life
upside down. You infuriated me, you shook me up, you made me realise what I was
missing. You made me aware of my heart. It was all you, Draco. You woke me up. I
still think you’re stupid, but so I am. We’re a pair of idiots. But so what?
You loved me even though I was such a mess. You endured my obnoxious company.
You gave your heart to me even though I was confused and couldn’t give you
anything in return.”

Deciding that he had waited long enough, Harry pulled Draco into a tight hug,
praying that he blond wouldn’t push him away.

Draco froze for a second, but when he breathed in Harry’s scent, he melted. He
threw his arms around Harry and surrendered. He felt tears coming to his eyes,
but he made an effort not to cry. He couldn’t believe Harry was holding him
with such need and tenderness.

“Don’t shut me out, Draco. I understand you’re hurt. God, every time I
think of what those bastards did to you I almost lose my mind. But allow me to
do for you what you’ve done for me. Let me comfort you. Let me love you.”

“I thought you’d hate me,” Draco whispered with watery eyes. “Once you
knew the truth about me, you’d despise me.”

“No. I did hate you and despise you in the past, but not anymore. When I think
of how much you’ve suffered alone...” Harry tightened his hug. “That’s
what makes me more furious. I really, really feel like killing your father for
what he did to you.” Harry stared at Draco and stroked his face tenderly.
“Don’t say foolish things anymore. You’re not dirty, and I won’t leave
you because of Lucius, Narcissa or any other crazy Malfoy. I already knew that
Lucius wasn’t in his right mind. I didn’t realise he could be so cruel to
his own son. But that doesn’t make me angry or disappointed with you, Draco.
Didn’t I tell you before? I love you! I’m sure of my feelings now, and I
don’t want to spend another second away from you. These two weeks almost
killed me. Hermione was the only one who could convince me to give you the time
and space you needed to recover. But I couldn’t wait any longer. I couldn’t
wait to take you in my arms properly. I couldn’t wait to love you again.”

Without wasting another second, Harry captured Draco’s lips in a voracious
kiss. Draco let himself be ravished willingly. Harry almost hurt his mouth with
his eagerness to kiss him more deeply.

“Do you still love me?” Harry asked against his mouth.

“Of course I do,” he replied, short of breath. “I’ve been in love with
you since Hogwarts...”

“Then why did you push me away?”

“Fear. I was afraid you’d reject me.”

Harry smiled feebly. “You... Who knew, huh? You always act so securely. I
never thought that deep down you were so fragile.”

Draco rested his head on Harry’s shoulder and sighed. “I hate to say this,
but I’m only fragile when it comes to you. The rest of the time I’m very
strong, Potter.”

Harry chuckled. “That is the most preposterous thing I’ve ever heard!”

Draco raised his head to stare at Harry immediately. “Preposterous? What do
you mean by that?”

“Look at the way you treated me while you were staying with me in my house!”
Harry pointed out. “I don’t recall you being fragile at all!”

“I treated you like a king! I even cooked for you, you ungrateful git!”

“You also threw water at me, practically forced me to jog with you,” Harry
began to list it, “yelled at me on many occasions, gave me a sleeping pill
while lying to me about it, kissed me while you were still dating Bill, ravished
me inside the bathroom of a night-club, made me insanely jealous when I caught
you in Diagon Alley with Bill, and left me with my heart in my mouth when you
decided to face your problems on your own.”

Draco frowned amusedly. “How long did you take to come up with this?”

“Hey, the list can go on and on,” Harry said playfully. Draco smiled. Harry
caressed his face again with the back of his hand. “I love your smile. Never
stop smiling.”

Draco grinned. After everything Harry had said to him, his heart felt incredibly
light. His fears were being put down one by one. He had never thought he would
hear Harry confessing so many of his feelings at once.

“Tibet really did wonders to you,” Draco pointed out, staring deeply into
Harry’s bright eyes.

“It did. I’d like to take you there with me someday. I think you could use
some of Tei Pei’s soul treatment. Although I must warn you, I’m still
short-tempered and moody.”

“So I guess Tei Pei doesn’t perform miracles, huh?” Draco teased. “Well,
that was expected. I mean, your godfather is not exactly sane. I guess Tei Pei
can only do so much.”

“You’re hilarious,” Harry said with a sneer, making Draco stand up and
taking him to bed.

Draco was amazed by Harry’s power to calm him down. Although his heart was
still afraid of the future, now that Harry was there with him, he didn’t think
it would be so difficult to handle it. With Harry by his side, he felt he could
face anything. If only he hadn’t been so terrified before. If only he hadn’t
ran away from Harry after he rescued him from Malfoy Manor.

“I love you so much,” Draco whispered.

Harry smiled, laying on top of Draco and taking off his towel.

“Does this mean I’m getting lucky tonight?” Harry asked playfully.

“Maybe,” Draco provoked him. “If you’re a good boy.”

“Good boy? I’ve been a bloody angel! Your guardian angel, actually. And to
think that it was the other way around not so long ago.”

“Hey! This is still a sensitive topic! I still can’t believe I let myself be
rescued like some damsel in distress... It’s really annoying.” Draco hid his
face in his hands, flushing slightly.

“Oh, come on. You enjoyed it, admit it!”

“I did not!”

Harry tickled him. “Admit it! You like the idea that I’m your Prince
Charming ready to rescue you from an evil wizard...”

Draco chuckled. “Not in a million years. Although... I think you’d look
rather sexy wearing a prince’s outfit. I think swords are erotic. Would you
show me your sword, Harry?” he asked seductively.

“Of course,” Harry said hoarsely, sucking Draco’s neck and then nipping it
gently. His hands caressed Draco’s bare chest. After that, his mouth replaced
his hands. His tongue encircled on of Draco’s nipples, making him moan with
pleasure.

“I’ve missed this. I’ve missed your hands and your mouth on my body,”
Draco whispered. He threw his head back as Harry stroked his cock that was
beginning to stir.

“Do you want this, Draco? Do you want me? Because if you think we’re going
too fast, or that this is still not the appropriate time to...”

Draco admired Harry’s self-restraint. He had his share of pain, though. He
wanted to feel all the pleasure Harry could provide him. He was desperate to
feel loved.

He looked into Harry’s eyes that were glowing beautifully just for him, and he
said without worrying if he looked too sentimental, “Love me, Harry. That’s
all I want you to do. I want you to love me.”

“I already do,” Harry answered serenely. He kissed Draco slowly this time,
tasting his lips softly.

Draco’s arousal built as Harry’s mouth travelled down his navel, and his
hand enfolded his erection. Harry used to tip of his fingers to tease the head
of Draco’s cock before licking it and stroking it up and down with his hands
and mouth.

“Please…” Draco moaned, bucking his hips as the pleasure built up inside
him.

“What?” Harry whispered.

“Let me touch you, too,” Draco pleaded. “I’ve been craving you since
you’ve left.”

“So have I,” confessed Harry, lying beside Draco and letting the blond have
his way with him.

Draco lay on top of him and took the initiative to kiss him this time. He
inserted hot kisses between tender ones until he and Harry were moving their
hips together. Draco positioned himself between Harry’s legs, making their
throbbing arousals touch. Harry grabbed Draco’s ass and pulled him closer
while he moved his hips. Their cocks pressed together as their movements got
faster. It was as if they were trying to mingle into one. The friction between
their bodies increased, and so did the pleasure.

“Draco, look at me,” Harry urged.

Draco looked at him but didn’t stop moving.

“What do you see?”

Draco licked his lips. Harry was the image of perfection with his flushed face,
his swollen lips and his untamed hair. His eyes were glowing like two big
emeralds. He brushed their lips together.

“What do you see?” insisted Harry before Draco could deepen their kiss.

“That you’re beautiful,” Draco whispered against his mouth.

“Look closely,” Harry asked.

“What do you want me to see?” Draco asked, amused.

“You told me you were afraid to look me in the eye because you thought I
didn’t want you anymore. Does it look like I don’t want you?”

Draco’s eyes sparkled. “No,” he answered, touched.

Harry touched their foreheads together. “Then don’t suffer alone, stupid.
Next time you can lean on me. We have each other now. Right?”

Draco smiled broadly. “Right,” he answered before shoving his tongue in
Harry’s mouth.

Harry buried his fingers in Draco’s hair and moaned as he felt about to burst.
Draco increased the pace of his thrusts and jerked. Harry clung to him as he
climaxed moaning his name again and again. Draco followed him a few seconds
later, sucking Harry’s neck until it bruised. Harry didn’t complain,
though.

Breathing soundly, they didn’t let go of each other not even when their hearts
went back to normal. Harry leaned his cheek against Draco’s collarbone and
sighed fully satiated.

“You know,” said Draco in a low, drawl voice. “You should go to Tibet more
often. I mean… You’ve clearly come back very inspired…” he teased.

Harry smiled. He drew small circles on Draco’s navel sensually. “Do you want
me to leave you so soon?”

“No!” Draco quickly exclaimed. “I’m just stating that I like the new
Harry. Not that I didn’t like the old one. But I like how sexy you’ve
become.” Draco bit his lower lip as Harry teased his sac. “Merlin! You’re
insatiable.”

Harry chuckled. Draco caught his naughty hand and kissed it.

“Don’t get me wrong, Harry, but I need to rest a little before doing it
again. I was a mess before you came. I let the stress build up to a dangerous
level… You’ve helped me relax, so now I’m exhausted.”

Harry stroked his face gently. “When you feel like talking about…
everything… I’m here for you. I promise not to judge you. I want you to be
able to trust me. I’ve been so worried about you these past weeks.”

Draco stared at him. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t face anyone.”

“Those who truly love you aren’t judging you, Draco. Hermione was devastated
when you resigned your post. Are you sure about that? You liked being an
Auror.”

Draco sighed. “Right now I’m not sure about anything. I need some time to
think things over…”

“I understand. There’s something I want you to consider, though.”

“What is it?” Draco asked.

“Move in with me. Not for a month, but… for a long time…” Harry asked.

Draco’s voice was caught up in his throat. He stroked Harry’s hair, kissed
him softly on the lips and said, “Okay. As long as you don’t mind waking up
at 6:00 am.”

“Oh, actually… I got used to that.”

“I won’t cook for you all the time.”

“I didn’t ask you to.”

“And no more strange women in the house. No more Mindy and Cindy, either, no
matter how great you think they are.”

“Hmm… That might be a little difficult…”

Draco pinched Harry’s nipples hard.

“Ouch!” Harry complained, stroking his bruised nipples. “Do you need to be
so violent? I’m only saying that because Mindy and Cindy have the tendency to
just pop up in my house. I can’t just kick them out. It wouldn’t be polite.
Besides, now we can kiss properly in front of them. They’ll be so happy,”
Harry teased.

Draco made a face. “I hope you’re not suggesting that we accept their
invitation to have a foursome.”

“I’d kill them before they put their hands on you. Which reminds me… Bill.
I talked to him.”

Draco widened his eyes. “Really? What for? I already ended things with him.
He’s really into Jacques now.”

“I know. Jacques wouldn’t leave the room while we talked, even though Bill
kept threatening to hex him. That boy is really scary…” Draco chuckled.
Harry continued, “Anyway, we sorted things out between us. We are friends
again. He told me to take good care of you. I’m still feeling a little…
threatened by him. I mean, he’s so tall and well-built, and he has a great
hair and such beautiful eyes…”

Draco frowned. He propped his elbow on the bed, and his head on his face.
“Harry? Are you gay now? I mean, totally gay?”

“Why?”

“Because you sound like you’re attracted to Bill. Not that I blame you… He
really is gorgeous.”

Harry made a face. “Just shut up.”

They laughed. Then they grew silent.

“Thank you, Harry,” Draco said, pulling Harry next to him again and making
him rest on his chest. “Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for being
here.”

“I’m the one who has to thank you. You have no idea how much you’ve helped
me,” said Harry, kissing him.

“So this is really it. No more dramas? We can finally be together?”

Harry smiled. “Yes.” Then he made a face. “Well… sort of.”

“What do you mean?” Draco asked worriedly. “Don’t tell me my father has
escaped from prison, or that my mother has decided to stay here and make our
lives a living hell. Harry… You’re not lying to me about Tibet, are you? I
mean… Is there something you need to tell me about… Voldemort?”

“No, thank God! Voldemort is definitely gone,” Harry affirmed. “Your
mother has indeed gone to Paris. Hermione made sure of that. And your father is
enjoying having lost all of his powers in Azkaban. He has three private guards
watching him. I made sure of that.”

Draco breathed in relief. “Then what is it?”

“Well… Snape and Sirius are still living in my house, and it doesn’t look
like they aren’t going to go back to Scotland anytime soon. Sirius is very
happy to have come out to the whole wizarding world again, not to mention that
he’s enjoying spending more time with me.”

“I see.” Draco could imagine how happy Severus was about that.

“So Snape is being quite… unpleasant. It is funny to watch Sirius and Mrs
Black argue, though. They seem to hate each other, but deep down I know they
like their fights.”

Draco chuckled. “Oh, my God. I can only imagine…”

“There’s something else, too. We’ve received a double wedding
invitation.”

Draco raised an eyebrow. “From whom?”

“Bill and Jacques, and Fred and Dennis.”

Draco almost jumped from the bed. “Fred and Dennis? Has the world gone upside
down?”

“We are together, aren’t we? This is proof enough that the world has gone
mental.”

“Are you teasing me, Potter?” Draco asked.

Harry threw him a sensual look. “Is it working? Are you ready for another
go?”

Draco’s hand slid down Harry’s body and toyed with his cock. “Maybe.”

Harry moaned. “Great. Because I’m catching on fire…” Harry kissed Draco
until they were both out of breath and ready to restart their love games.

Draco was in a blissful state. He decided to put his worries aside and just give
himself to the moment and Harry. He finally had his dream come true. He finally
had Harry in his arms.

After all the drama, they deserved some time off to just be happy.

They loved each other throughout the night, and only went back to Grimmauld
Place the next day.

As they entered the house, they heard Sirius and Mrs Black cursing each other
while Severus grunted something in the background. They looked at each other and
smiled.

Harry closed the door and took Draco by the hand. Together, they would start a
new chapter in their lives.



                                Kapitel 48: 48.
                                ---------------


48.
Even though Flourish and Blotts had been magically enlarged to hold The Event of
the Year according not only to the Daily Prophet, but also to every other
wizarding magazine and paper, the place seemed too small to welcome so many
people.

On the table was a big pile of books just waiting to be signed and given away.
But the guest of honour, the man who was supposed to sign them, was nowhere in
sight.

Draco glanced at his watch and sighed. Harry was very late. He had told Draco
not to worry about him and go straight to the bookstore from work, but Draco
wasn’t sure he had made the right decision. Even though almost a year had
passed since his last major breakdown, Draco still worried about him.

Harry still felt depressed from time to time, and on those short periods he
isolated himself until the feeling was gone. Tei Pei had helped Harry get
detached from Voldemort and every bad memory associated with him, but he
hadn’t been able to help Harry heal all of the scars in his heart. To achieve
that Harry would have to go back to Tibet and spend a long time there, but the
raven-haired man was rather busy with his life now. Besides, as Tei Pei said
himself, Harry’s sadness was something normal, just a part of every day life.
He would be able to handle it on his own and keep on living without making a big
deal about it.

Even so, Draco worried. And, if he was to be honest with himself, he wasn’t
just worried about Harry. He was worried about what that day would represent in
both their lives. They had been together for almost ten months and had been
married for two, but only their closest friends and family knew about it.

Although Charles Hagen had stopped writing about them – thanks to Hermione’s
threat of telling on him for not paying his taxes properly – The Daily Prophet
still speculated about their relationship, and they were quite harsh in their
judgement. Thanks to that, Draco, who had been recovering rather slowly from the
events of last year, always kept a low profile about his marriage to Harry.

Which was why he was so nervous. This was the day Harry would not only celebrate
his success as a best-selling author, but they would also be open about their
relationship to the whole wizarding world for the first time.

There. He had finally admitted to himself. He wasn’t really worried about
Harry getting depressed in such an important moment. He was worried about the
repercussions of that day. People were already staring at him suspiciously. If
Harry dared to leave him all alone to face the public’s criticism, he would
ask for the divorce.

Someone touched his shoulder gently, and Draco jumped with surprise. He turned
around quickly and his eyes fell upon Bill.

“Bill! Hi!” exclaimed Draco, hugging Bill tightly in reflex.

Bill chuckled at his ex-lover’s evident anxiety. “Hi, Draco! You look great!
A little nervous, but great. Thank Merlin that Jacques isn’t here yet, or else
he would hex you. For real.”

Draco made a face. “I still don’t know how you can put up with that brat.
You are very brave to marry him. He created such a scandal at your wedding…
Although it was kind of nice to see him throw a spell on Fleur when she tried to
ruin the ceremony.” Draco smiled as he remembered the comical scene, but Bill
didn’t seem to find it so amusing.

“You say it as if Harry is so much different from Jacques…” Bill sneered,
wiping Draco’s smile off his face. “He’s terribly jealous of me. At your
wedding, he threatened me if I didn’t stay away from you! And that was after
you and I had danced just once!”

“Don’t be silly!” Draco exclaimed. “He didn’t threaten you! He just
cut in and took me away a little hastily… It was Jacques who stomped on my
foot and asked me never to dance with you again!”

Bill smiled. “I guess he’s a little possessive.”

“He’s demented,” Draco stated.

“So is Harry.”

“Harry is an angel compared to Jacques. He isn’t much of a jealous
person.”

Bill frowned. “That’s because he always chooses to threaten his rivals when
you aren’t looking. Trust me, your boyfriend can be very scary when he’s
jealous of you.”

Draco chuckled softly. To know that Harry felt jealous of him put him in quite a
good mood. And to think that the previous year Harry could barely stand to be in
the same room with him. Now they couldn’t get enough of each other.

“Isn’t Harry late?” Bill asked.

Draco nodded, distressed. “Yes… I bet he and Severus are fighting…”

“Oh, you godfather has come!” Bill asked, surprised. He knew that Severus
was anti-social and didn’t like to leave his house in Scotland for anything in
the world.

“He was forced to come by Sirius. Harry’s godfather is quite happy that he
doesn’t have to play dead anymore. He loves a party, so he drags Severus with
him everywhere. Needless to say that Severus’ mood gets worse every time that
happens, and he blames Harry for it,” said Draco bitterly. “The house has
become a battle of wills...”

“Why does Snape come then? I can’t see the old grumpy Professor Snape doing
something against his will...” pointed out Bill.

Draco smirked. “He would never admit it, but by coming with Sirius he’s
marking his territory around his lover. No one has ever dared come on to Sirius
when Severus is beside him.”

Bill smiled wryly. “I see! We all have possessive lovers.”

“Indeed,” said Draco returning the smile.

“And how is your job?” Bill asked.

Draco grinned. He had just recently gone back to working as an Auror for three
reasons. First, Hermione and Boss had pleaded him to join them again. Secondly,
because Jonah had been sacked after Hermione gathered enough proof that he had
connections with Lucius Malfoy – explaining why he seemed to pick on Draco so
much. But mostly, he had gone back because he had been tired of being a
‘house-wife’ 24/7. He would rather face long written reports than house
chores – with Mrs Black on the background giving him instructions.

“My job is doing great. Hermione has already given me enough work for the rest
of the year,” he answered.

Bill raised an eyebrow. “Is this good?”

“It’s wonderful,” Draco said, winking at him.

Bill got closer to him and touched Draco’s waist softly. “You do look
stunning, Draco,” he teased. “Would you save me a dance at Harry’s
celebrating party at our house later on?”

“Well...”

“Where’s the brat, Bill? Are you sure you want him to see you flirt with my
man?” asked Harry coldly, cutting in.

Bill made a face. Draco flushed slightly but happily to hear Harry calling him
his.

“How are you, too, Harry?” said Bill, amused. “I knew you were there,
which was why I decided to tease Draco.”

“Really?” Harry smiled wryly. “That’s what you said the last time when I
caught you sweet talking Draco.”

“Can you blame me? Draco is irresistible,” Bill said, making Draco roll his
eyes.

“I know that,” said Harry with a cold smile. “Just don’t forget that
he’s mine.”

“I had him first, if you remember,” Bill pointed out.

Harry’s face went red, and he clenched his fists. “Do you have a point?
Because last time I’d checked, you were the one who...”

“Harry!” Draco cut in before Harry started a real fight. Bill always had fun
teasing Harry, but the raven-haired took his jokes rather seriously. It was up
to Draco to pacify him later, and it was never an easy job. “Don’t
start.”

Harry frowned. “I didn’t! He was the one with his hands on your waist, and
his mouth very close to your neck!”

Draco made an outraged face. Sometimes he liked it when Harry showed him his
possessiveness, but most of the time it only upset him.

“Oh, there is my blond!” Bill exclaimed. “If you would excuse me,” he
said, patting Harry’s back fondly and winking at Draco before leaving them.

Harry sighed. “I know he’s crazy about that brat – Merlin knows why –
but he really pisses me off when he comes so close to you.” Harry looked at
Draco, who was rolling his eyes, and wrinkled his brows. “What? You know how I
feel about Bill!”

“He’s a dear friend now, married, and your best friend’s brother. You know
Bill would never come on to me for real now. He likes to tease you, that’s
all.”

“And I don’t like it when he does that; I don’t care if it’s only a
joke,” Harry replied moodily.

“Forget about Bill. Tonight is all about you. And you’re late,” Draco
stated.

“I have your loving godfather to thank for that,” sneered Harry. “He
behaved insufferably as usual. He kept grumbling about having to watch me sign
autographs all night for a stupid book about my years at Hogwarts that he
can’t understand how it became famous in the first place because, according to
him, I have a very poor writing style,” Harry grumbled at once. “I told him
that he didn’t need to come. Merlin knows that the last person I need here is
Snape and his ‘finally a true celebrity rises’ speech. Like I wanted more
attention than I already had... You know I wouldn’t be here if Dean hadn’t
begged me to! But he is a dear friend and he was really nice by giving me this
chance and accepting my book, so... He could have spared me to sign autographs,
though!”

Draco was sensitive enough to hide a smile at Harry’s inflamed speech. Harry
really didn’t like the attention he was getting with his book. He had never
expected it to reach the top of the chart. It had all started as some sort of
diary that Harry decided to transform into fiction, changing a few names and
places every here and there. It was, as Severus had put it, about his years at
Hogwarts. The difference was that rather than write in the first person, Harry
had decided to write as if he was a distant observer. It made things easier for
him. What really angered Severus the most was to be described through the whole
book as the old bat.

Draco hadn’t liked his description in the book as well. He was the brat with a
pointed face, a horrible attitude and a drawling voice. Harry had only managed
to convince him not to murder him at night by snogging him until he melted in
his arms.

“And then Sirius made things worse by adding that if Snape stayed home he
would flirt with half of the people here! So you can guess what happened
next...” Harry continued, taking Draco’s mind out of their night of
passion.

“Did he become irrationally jealous just like you do when Bill is talking to
me?” suggested Draco softly.

“Ha-ha,” Harry laughed humourlessly. “No. He didn’t become irrational.
He is like that normally... The problem was that Mrs Black decided to join the
discussion with her witty comments.”

“Merlin! I bet it was ugly!” Draco chuckled. “My goodness, we make such a
strange family...”

Harry ended up smiling too. “Don’t we? So how do I look? You haven’t said
anything... I suppose I’m not as good-looking as your ex, but...”

Draco ignored Harry’s last childish sentence to focus on his general
appearance. He didn’t know how he hadn’t noticed just how gorgeously
stunning Harry looked in a black gala robe with Gryffindor’s tie adorning his
neck. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, and his green eyes were glowing more than
usual. His heartbeat quickened. Harry could still take his breath away. It made
Draco wish that he had dropped by their house, taken a shower and dressed more
properly instead of coming straight from work with his plain black robes. He
couldn’t understand how he had let Harry talk him into doing that – him, who
always made sure to look good no matter where he was.

“So?” Harry insisted a little insecurely but adorably cute.

“Stupid. You look beautiful. You’re far more attractive than anyone in this
room,” whispered Draco, closing the distance between them and kissing Harry
fully on the lips. Harry enlaced him by his waist and brought him even closer.
They got lost in their private loving moment when a strong light fell upon
them.

FLASH! They heard the sound of many cameras being activated at once. They parted
slowly and carefully. When Draco looked around, he almost panicked. The room had
suddenly become very quiet. All eyes were on them. At their left, Colin Creevey
enthusiastically waved his free hand at them and took another picture, making
Draco go blind for a second.

Draco blinked, then gulped. This was it. Everybody knew now that they were a
couple for real. He just hoped that their relationship wouldn’t jeopardise
Harry’s future as a writer. He also hoped not to be expelled from there with
cruel hexes for having the audacity to be married with their hero.

Harry held his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. They stared at each other, and
Harry smiled at him as if telling Draco that everything would be all right.
Draco smiled back, and he held his head high – resembling very much the same
brat with a pointed face and a drawling voice from the old days.

They waited for the crowd to be all over them with questions and criticisms. But
what happened next left Draco speechless.

“Look, it’s Harry Potter!” someone shouted.

“Harry! Harry!” a series of voices began to call out his name.

“Could you sign my boobs?” asked a witch with curly hair jumping in front of
him and taking Harry’s hand. Draco was too dumbfounded to say anything.

A small group of people surrounded Harry and took him away. Draco was left alone
and stunned. He watched as a scared Harry sat down on the chair reserved to him
and began to sign his books automatically.

After a while, Harry recovered from the initial shock and began to smile and
shake people’s hands as if he had been born to do just that. He glanced at
Draco and smiled cutely. Draco flushed slightly, but he smiled back.

Draco thought that journalists would surround him, but they were all trying to
get close to Harry for an exclusive interview. Draco breathed in relief. He had
feared the day for so long. It seemed as if he had worried himself about
nothing. He kind of felt disappointed for not being noticed at all. He made a
face.

“This is my moment of glory. I’ll make fun of him for the rest of his
life,” said a hoarse voice behind Draco.

Draco smiled, and he turned to greet his godfather. “Severus! I’m so glad
you’ve decided to come.”

Severus grimaced. “Well, it was this or having to put up with my sweet
mother-in-law.”

Draco chuckled. “Tough decision, huh? Mrs Black did improve a lot, though.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Yes, I am,” said Draco smiling.

“So, it’s amazing how Potter can get all the attention to himself. Aren’t
you jealous?” Severus provoked him. Draco cursed him in thought.

“Not at all!”

“I doubt that. You were all stressed out yesterday because of the press, and
now they couldn’t care less about you.”

“I think it’s because Harry and I being together is not such a shock
anymore. People got used to it. I mean, we were the subject of every newspaper
and magazine of our world,” Draco stated. “I overreacted. I’m glad it’s
all about Harry today.”

“Yes, I’m sure you’re overjoyed.”

There was a hint of poison in Severus’ words that only those familiar with him
would recognise it as such.

“Look, Severus! Lucile Allegro is talking to Sirius!” Draco pointed out with
fake innocence. He knew how much Severus hated Lucile. The woman never missed a
chance to flirt with Sirius when they met.

Severus grunted something, and very subtly the hem of Lucile’s robe caught on
fire. Someone close to Lucile cast a spell on her to put out the fire and got
her soaked. She ran away to the bathroom screaming in rage. Severus’ smile
lasted a second before Sirius turned to stare at him with a frown and walk
towards him.

Draco wisely left them alone to get on each other’s nerves. He was thankful
that he and Harry hadn’t turned out the same way. Although he and Harry fought
every once in a while – most of the time for stupid reasons – they didn’t
go for each other’s throats every two minutes like Severus and Sirius did.

For half an hour Draco was a silent observer of everything happening around him.
Harry was still quite busy with his fans.

Seeing his dejected expression, Fred passed by Draco and pinched his butt before
going back to snogging a giggling Dennis. That certainly put a wry smile on
Draco’s face.

Draco went to the Weasleys side and talked to them for a while, but he didn’t
stay too long. He still couldn’t stand Ginny Weasley. He knew Harry didn’t
feel anything for her anymore, but he couldn’t trust her. Ginny loved to tease
Draco and make him jealous. She was always talking about her and Harry’s past
together while Draco was in the room, and she made sure to keep staring at him
innocently. She was a lot like Bill in that aspect. Draco figured it was a
Weasley thing. They were teasers by nature.

Hermione and Ron were the last ones to arrive at the bookstore. Ron kept
complaining about the workaholic side of his wife every chance he got. Hermione
pretended not to listen. When she spotted Draco, she waved at him with a big
grin and walked towards him. Hermione had been thrilled to have him back as her
partner, and she never missed the opportunity to hug him in thanks. She told him
that his laziness at work made her look good. Draco made a face at the memory.

“Draco! I swear I wanted to be on time, but I remembered that I hadn’t
finished my report about those dark artefacts found near Gringotts and I totally
forgot about time! Can you believe it?”

“Not at all! And here I was, wondering what had kept you...” Draco sneered.

“You and me both...” grunted Ron. “Now I lost the chance to see Harry’s
annoyed face as he signed his books.”

Draco raised a brow. “What are you talking about? Harry is right there!”

Ron shook his head. “Haven’t you noticed? ‘Cause I thought you would.
Don’t you think that the Harry in there is behaving way too cheerfully?”

Draco looked at Harry and noticed that, indeed, he was smiling and laughing out
loud, which was totally out of character. Worse, he was flirting with a very
attractive brunette that kept smiling at him seductively.

Draco clenched his fists. But before he could walk towards them and make a
scene, he was suddenly grabbed from behind and dragged away. The abductor only
stopped walking when they reached an empty alley. The strange hooded person
didn’t let Draco go, though.

For a second, as he was being dragged outside, Draco thought that his father had
finally succeeded in hiring someone to finish him off for good. But as they
stopped moving and the person enlaced both arms around him and pulled him
closer, he felt the familiar warmth taking over him. He smiled with delight.

“So,” he began slowly. “Who was the person impersonating you out
there?”

“George. He loved the idea.”

Draco made a face. “I know. I saw it. You do know that you two could be
arrested for this little joke, right?”

“Are you going to arrest me? Do you want to handcuff me?” asked Harry
seductively.

“Don’t tempt me,” answered Draco with a smile. He turned around and took
Harry’s hood off his face. He met the beautiful emerald eyes and said,
“I’m serious, you know? If anyone finds out about this…”

“No one will find out,” Harry guaranteed. “There’s only half an hour
before the end of the event… George won’t do anything stupid. He wouldn’t
dare.”

Draco grimaced. “It’s George we are talking about. And he was openly
flirting with the girls there, Harry!”

Harry shrugged. “So?”

“You want me to hit you, don’t you?”

Harry smiled and pulled Draco closer to him again, locking his arms around him.
“I just thought we could use this half an hour to do better things… Like…
this…” Harry captured Draco’s lips in a sweet but intense kiss. Draco
melted in his arms.

“Dean will be furious with you,” Draco pointed out when they parted a
little.

“He won’t. He already knows and he thought the idea was brilliant
considering that I hate all the attention and George absolutely loves it.”

“You were the one who decided to be a writer. Now deal with it.”

Harry made a face, and he bit Draco’s lower lip tenderly before kissing him
and answering, “I know. But why do I have to deal with autograph nights and
publicity when I have George to cover up for me? Let me do what I like, which is
writing, and let George do what he likes, which is fooling people and getting
all the attention to himself.”

Draco shook his head, but he chuckled nonetheless. “What about the party at
the Weasleys?” Draco asked against his mouth.

“We have plenty of time. Besides, I already told them that we might be a
little late.”

“Aren’t you a naughty boy?”

“Totally,” Harry answered, kissing Draco again.

They snogged for the longest time, forgetting that there were people on the
street that might see them. For them, it didn’t matter anymore. Harry hadn’t
been that happy in a long time, and he had Draco to thank for that. Now that
Draco had started working again, he wanted to enjoy their moments together in
the best way he could. He was finally free from his prejudices and insecurities.
He was a man in love, and he would do anything for the object of his affection.

Draco was also amazed by the development of their relationship. Thinking back to
their first meeting in Harry’s house, he never thought they would be together.
They had gone through a great deal of things. They were at peace with themselves
now.

While they snuggled together, Draco wished for that moment to last forever.

“I love you, Harry,” he whispered with his head on Harry’s shoulder.

“I love you, too,” Harry whispered back, stroking Draco’s back.

“Oh, there they are!” a man shouted as he entered the alley. “Oh, how
cute! They are cuddling, Hermione!”

“Again?” said another familiar male voice. “Man… they are always at it.
Who would have thought, huh? Personally, it’s kind of annoying… And we are
late for the party.”

“Aw, Ron! Just leave them alone! It’s so sweet to see them together! See how
Fred and I were right about them? How ingenious was our plan to bring them
together? They are so right for each other!” exclaimed Hermione.

“Yeah. And the sad part is, Hermione, dear, that they never even thanked
us!” Fred said, pretending to be outraged. “If it wasn’t for us, they
would have never got together!”

Harry and Draco looked at each other and frowned.

“Oh, can I call my brother?” asked Dennis excitedly. “He loves to take
their picture!”

“NO!” said Draco and Harry in unison.

Dennis winced, and Fred put his arms around him protectively.

“You didn’t have to be so aggressive with him,” Fred complained.

Harry made a face. “I’m sure Colin is busy covering the event in Flourish
and Blotts. Let the man do his job. There, not here,” Harry finished dryly. No
more press today. He wasn’t so worried about the press anymore, but he
certainly didn’t want them chasing after him all the time.

“Boys, let’s go to the party!” said Hermione. “You can snog there.
It’s getting really late, and I have an early morning tomorrow.”

Draco rolled his eyes. “Tomorrow is Saturday!”

“So?” she shrugged. “Do you think evil people rest on weekends?”

“What evil people?” Draco asked. “Things have been really smooth at work
lately!”

“Don’t bother to discuss this with her, Draco. I’ve already tried…
It’s no use,” answered Ron dejectedly.

Draco pitied Ron.

Fred enlaced Hermione by her neck and dragged her out of the alley saying, “No
work, my dearest sister-in-law! You’ll drink so much tonight that you won’t
even remember how you get home!”

“Fred!” Ron shouted, running after them. “Let go of my wife, you twit!”

Dennis followed them laughing his heart out. A few seconds later they spotted
Bill and Jacques fighting about something Fleur had sent Bill. At their side,
Sirius and Severus also fought about their irrational jealousy for each other.

Draco and Harry looked at each other and smiled.

“The only one missing is Mrs Black,” Harry pointed out.

“Well, we did promise that the Christmas party will be at our house this year
so she can participate,” Draco reminded him.

“Oh, that’s true.” Harry grinned. “Can you imagine what a mess it will
be?”

Draco chuckled. “Oh, yes, definitely.”

“Hey, you two! You’re too slow! Let’s go!” shouted Ginny, making Draco a
little irritated.

Harry kissed him before he started complaining about her.

As they walked together hand in hand with their friends laughing, fighting and
teasing one another just a few feet away, they couldn’t help to think that
they weren’t alone anymore. In addition to each other, they had a big and
noisy family now. They were very unconventional, but they all cared for one
another deeply.

When Hermione pulled Draco to her side to tell him something related to work,
Sirius stood next to Harry and patted his back fondly. Severus walked closed by,
still annoyed that he had to take part in everything Harry did.

“So, kiddo. Did you talk to Draco about working at Hogwarts?”

Harry smiled. “Yes. He was very supportive. I did enjoy teaching DADA on my
fifth year… But I don’t know. I’m not sure I’m ready yet.”

“Please, say you will accept! If it’s only Severus and me, it won’t be as
fun…”

Severus grunted something about a sex strike. Sirius quickly tried to amend with
no success. Harry chuckled.

“What are you laughing at, Potter?” Severus grimaced. “In a few years you
and Draco will be just the same…”

“No way!” Harry quickly disagreed. “Draco and I have our problems, but we
are not like you and Sirius.”

“Aw, Harry!” Sirius exclaimed. “That hurt!”

“If you go to Hogwarts, you realise I’ll make your life as miserable as
possible,” Severus declared.

“Are you tempting me to go, Severus?” Harry asked.

“Suit yourself, Potter,” Severus smiled mysteriously, and he went to stand
by Draco’s side.

“What was that all about?” Harry asked Sirius.

“Oh, the old bat would never admit it, but he’s looking forward to you
joining us at Hogwarts as well.”

“It’s hard to believe that!”

Sirius smiled. “That’s Severus for you. Saying yes when he means no, and no
when he means yes. It’s quite fun! I confess I have even more fun when he says
no!”

Harry made a face. “I don’t want to know the details.”

“I wasn’t going to tell you!” They laughed. Sirius looked at Harry
intently and smiled. “You’re really happy now, aren’t you?”

Harry looked at Draco, who looked at him at the same time. They smiled to each
other lovingly.

“Yes,” Harry answered without taking his eyes off Draco.

“I’m really glad, Harry. Now, let’s provoke Severus a little more!”
Sirius ran towards his husband like he was a little kid. Harry laughed his heart
out.

He walked towards Draco and caught his hand tenderly, feeling that he had never
been so at ease with the world, and praying that they remained in pure bliss for
a long, long time.

The End




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