Thought's Game von Cigamina ================================================================================ Kapitel 1: ----------- Date of begin: 26.05.04 Date of end: 27.05.04 Thought’s game Author: Cigamina Fandom: Weiß Kreuz Part: 1/1 Pairing: none Rating: G Genre: Au Warnings: none Disclaimer: Not mine… if they were there would be many, many yaoi anime out there, centering Aya and Youji… but they aren’t so there are no yaoi anime about the WK boys out there… too bad… Summary: Youji’s a teacher and tends to think a lot about other people… especially about one of his pupils. (It’s not that kind of thoughts, hentais. At least not yet…) Thanks & dedications: Notes: It’s an Au (again…), so relationships between people, their ages and all changed. Also I don’t know if I’m going to use all the Schwarz and Weiß boys for the fic, so don’t be disappointed if your favourite character has just a little role or doesn’t appear at all. Songs I heard while writing the story: Something like Sweetnadyja – Bling Bling Feedback to: Cigamina@aol.com Homepage: www.a-yume.de ~*~*~*~*~* The bus stops in front of me and the doors open, allowing me to get on the bus. I smile at the bus driver and then walk past him, towards the back of the vehicle. I’ve a card for the whole year so I don’t have to pay every single time I take the bus. Which is more than once a day and such a card is much cheaper for me. I sigh and then sit down on a seat in the back of the bus, on one of the ‘normal’ ones. I don’t like the seats that are the other way round so you sit with your back to the direction the bus drives into. But I have two seats like that in front of me. I don’t understand how people can sit in the wrong direction… I start feeling dizzy when I do that. I place my leather bag and the plastic bag on the seat next to me before I lean against the back of my own. The bus starts moving again and pulls into the traffic, heading for the next bus stop. It will be the one in front of the high school I’m teaching in at the moment. I’m not a teacher yet but I’m in instruction to become one. An English teacher to be exact. That’s the easiest thing I can do, being half American myself. My father was an American and my mother Japanese so I learned both languages when I was a child. They live both in Japan and we get along very well even now that I don’t live at home anymore. I left my parents when I was 21 and moved to another city because they had a better university there. Gods, that’s already been 6 years ago… since then I moved again, when I finished my studies I moved here. I live with another attempting teacher in a flat now, that’s cheaper and it’s nice to have a little company. Especially when your flat mate is very nice, and mine is indeed nice. We get along very well, Rika and I. We hit it off immediately when we met each other and have much fun together. She’s not my girlfriend but my closest friend at the present and I can’t see why that should change within the next time. I cross my arms in front of my chest and look out of the window where I can see the sports grounds of my school flying by. I like my work here… the school is very good and the other teachers very nice, as well as the pupils. At least most of them, of course there’re exceptions, like everywhere, but the biggest part of my pupils is friendly and willing to learn. I especially like one of my classes, it’s one of the higher ones. Those kids are just great, they’re funny and work hard, they like the English language. There’re some other classes that don’t want to learn anything and are very hard to motivate, but that class is different. With them I’m willing to improvise as well, to make learning much more interesting for them, and they appreciate it. We talk a lot in classes or read stories, whatever they want to do. As long as they practise their English it’s fine with me. The bus stops again and the doors open with a hissing noise that makes me look up and automatically at the crowd that’s now entering the bus, searching for faces I know. Or better for one face I know… I smile when I spot him. Not that it’s difficult, he sticks out of a crowd even more than I do, with his odd coloring. It’s really odd for a Japanese boy to have red hair and violet eyes, on top that incredibly pale skin. I often wondered if one of the boy’s parents is a stranger, like my own father, so the coloring could be explained like that. But I never found an answer to my question and I certainly won’t ask him. It’s none of my business who his parents are. I like his coloring, though. He’s really pretty in my opinion, this Fujimiya Ran. Ran waits until all the other kids got on the bus before he enters the vehicle himself, his face expressionless when he looks around for a free seat. I automatically look around too and quickly notice that there aren’t many free places left… to be exact just three, the seat next to me and the two in front of me. Some of the kids are standing in the bus, I think they either find it very cool to stand or are afraid that it would look stupid to sit with their teacher. I know some of the standing kids, I teach them and the also greeted me with their ‘Konnichiwa, Kudou-sensei’ when they passed me, but they never sit down next to me. Ran walks in my direction and I’m a bit surprised when he stops next to me and smiles slightly at me before he sits down on one of the seats facing me. He places his schoolbag next to him and then leans against the window, letting his forehead touch the glass, before he closes his eyes. I look at him for a few moments before I force my eyes off him and fix them on his dark red schoolbag instead. He’s the only one of his class here in the bus, and I wonder why. Seems he’s doing an activity after classes or the others would be here too if they were finished for the day just now. I glance at him for a moment before looking back at his schoolbag, lost in my thoughts. He’s one of the pupils in the class I like the most, and he’s one of the kids I like the most. He’s a good student, a bit withdrawn and quiet perhaps but he’s polite and friendly. He speaks English very well, he’s the best in his class. And he has something about him that makes me think about him often. I just can’t make myself stop, there are so many interesting things about him… it’s not that I have a crush on him, no, he’s way too young and on top my pupil. And even if I was interested in him I would never show it openly, I would get a hell of a problem then… no, he’s just a person I can’t figure out. I don’t understand him at all and that’s what makes me think about him again and again. What there is so interesting about him? Oh, I already started with his looks and that I’m wondering where he got them from. Then there is the mystery why he’s constantly alone in breaks… I sometimes spot him somewhere and he’s always alone, just standing in a corner or sitting on a bench near the little lake. It’s not that the others weren’t interested in him, even with the few times I see him during the day I always see a few girls giggling near him, looking at him and then whispering while sticking their heads together so anybody can hear what they say. But he seems to be completely oblivious of that… he never even looks at them. Or he knows and just ignores the poor girls completely. Other boys would be happy with all that girls attention and he just doesn’t care about it. Then I never saw him eat once in breaks. And there where days when I saw him in all breaks, that means he doesn’t eat anything those days… he has to be hungry as hell when he doesn’t eat anything the whole day. But he doesn’t seem to eat much anyway, he’s terribly thin. You see that especially now in summer when he’s wearing T-shirts instead of the thick sweaters he had been wearing in winter. I think he’s extremely underweight… I also often wonder why. He doesn’t seem like an anorexic person to me, I don’t think it’s that. But I can’t think of another reason… then he never listens to music in the bus or elsewhere, never plays around with a mobile like so many kids do in school. No, he stares in the air or has his eyes closed most times when I see him… he doesn’t seem to have any friends, the poor boy. But he doesn’t do anything to find some… and another strange thing is the way he dresses. Not that I don’t like it, he always does look really good in his clothes, it’s just not what I would have expected a boy to wear in school. In winter I didn’t really pay attention to it, his sweaters where always black, dark red or the violet of his eyes and clingy, and had high collars. He looked good in them, but I think a boy as pretty as him would look good in everything he wears. But now in summer… he still wears the black jeans, rather tight pants that ride low on his hips and bring attention to his long, slender legs, but instead of the sweaters he now wears tops… clingy ones, mesh tops, laced up tops, cropped ones… I didn’t know his navel was pierced until he wore that dark red, short top for the first time. It looks good though… still I don’t know why he dresses up like this for going to school. And he even wears makeup. The dark mascara makes his eyes stand out even more, combined with the violet eye-shadow it looks great. But still, it’s odd… today he also wears the mascara and all, and the top is great. It’s dark grey and shimmering lightly in the sun, on the same time it’s just a little bit transparent. It makes you think you saw his nipples through the fabric but then he shifts and you’re not sure if it wasn’t just a trick of the light. It’s sleeveless and short, you see a bit of his creamy white skin between pants and top, including his silver navel ring. It’s the little orchid today, he’s several rings and he changes them often. The top has a high collar, like most of his clothes have, and like always he wears this long, golden earring in his left ear. I wondered why he wears that thing… I think silver would go better with his looks, but perhaps the thing has a special meaning to him, I don’t know. Ran draws my attention to him for a few moments when he shifts in his seat and opens his schoolbag, pulling out a few sheets and a biro before he starts to write something on his crossed legs, most likely his homework. That’s strange too, which kid does his homework in the bus? Most of them are fed up with school when they finish and do their work in the evening after relaxing a little, but Ran does them always in the bus when we take the same one. Which is rather often because his class often finishes the same time as I do. No, Ran does his homework directly in the bus, as if he doesn’t have any time at home. But if you consider how many activities he does it’s perhaps not that surprising… That’s the strangest thing about him… he gets off the bus at different stations, every day it’s another one. I searched for an explanation for this and came up with one: perhaps he has activities after school. He acts like a child of a good family, a rather rich one, so they could afford him going to whatever, a music or a dancing school for example. Or perhaps he plays soccer or hockey or whatever he likes. I don’t know if it’s true, but for what else should he get off the bus in so many different places? One times it’s the gardens and the next time the train station, the next the park and after that a station in the middle of a quarter of the city where only lived poorer people. I think I saw him getting off the bus on every station on my line, and the ride to my home is long, almost 45 minutes. So we pass a lot of stations… You understand now why I often think about him? I just don’t get it… if he had activities he would get off the bus on the same station every week right? So this can’t really be it… but what else? I don’t know, and that makes me think about it again and again. I see he’s writing quickly, seems he has to get off early today or he wouldn’t be in such a hurry to finish his work. Sometimes he finishes before he has to get off, and then he always reads. He reads interesting things, mostly books I also know and like. He even sometimes reads English ones, which earns him a few odd stares from the people near him, but he doesn’t seem to care. Or no, he doesn’t always read. Sometimes he writes a few things down in a little note book. My first thought was that it could be a diary, but the things he writes down in it are way too short for that, and on the other side; who would write his diary in a crowded bus? I’m curious what it is… I’m curious in general and so I’d really like to have my questions answered… but I don’t know how. It’s none of my business what he does and what not, and I won’t ask him. I don’t really know him and I’m just his teacher, there is no reason to ask him about such stupid things. It is stupid to think so much about someone else’s life, about the life of someone you know nothing about, but I am like this. I always think about other people, especially in the bus. I wonder what they think, what they’re going to do when they leave the bus, where they go. Some of the people in here are familiar, they always take the same bus as me one day of the week and it’s interesting to try to find reasons for their behavior, why they appear sad or happy, why they leave the bus on a different station that usual. But Ran is the one I think about so often… because of the many mysteries about him… or perhaps it’s just my mind that creates the mysteries and everything has a very simple explanation that it just too easy to see. Perhaps I want him to be a mystery to me, because he wouldn’t be interesting anymore if I knew what was going on. I sigh when I think that. I’m strange, I know, but that’s the way I am. I think nobody else gives a damn about the other people in a bus, they just think about their own things… I can’t, I have to think about them and make theories about their lives… I look up when Ran puts the sheets back into his schoolbag and then gets up for a second to push the red stop button before he sits down again. I quickly look out of the window, just to see where he gets off today. Ah, it’s the market today. Perhaps he’s going to buy something for his mother there? Or for himself, something sweet before he goes playing the piano or whatever? There, it starts again, I’m making theories of what he’s doing… it’s stupid, but I can’t make myself stop. A few moments later Ran gets up and grabs his schoolbag, which is making me look up again. His expression is once again very neutral, but there’s some expression in his eyes… he seems a bit tired, worn out… I instantly wonder why, perhaps school was hard today or he got bad marks or something like that. Which would be strange, he’s known for his excellent marks in school. I shake my head and then smile up at him, wait for him to return the gesture. He does just that, but his smile appears weak, forced onto his beautiful face. It’s often like that and of course I wonder why. Perhaps he doesn’t like the activity he’s doing after school today? Perhaps he’s forced by his parents to play an instrument he doesn’t like? Again I can’t find an answer, which leaves me wondering about him again. In this moment the bus slows down and Ran turns his head before walking into the direction of the door, his grace once again surprises me. He doesn’t stumble even if the bus slows down, his steps are certain, he doesn’t need to hold on to anything while making his way to the door. Perhaps he really goes dancing, that’s where he could have the grace from. When the bus finally stops and the doors open Ran get off the bus and walks along the street before walking to the left, away from the market. Then directly to the activity, no stop by the market, I think. I watch his slim, graceful form until I can’t see him anymore, due to him going to the left and the bus continuing the ride, which causes me to sigh softly and turn to the plastic bag I brought with me. Keiko will be pleased with this, I got her a few CD’s for her birthday. It’s another close friend of mine, I know her through Rika. The present is for the both of us and the party is next Saturday, but I got the things already now because I had the time today. That’s why Ran and I took the same bus today, if I hadn’t searched for the present I would have gone home earlier. I look up when a young woman drops down on the seat Ran just gave free, busily writing texts with her mobile. She’s tense and her mouth’s pressed into a tight line, she doesn’t appear happy at all. Perhaps she’s problems with her boyfriend… and is writing text to him. Perhaps they’re arguing or one wants to break up with the other… I got lost in my thoughts again while the ride continues, just like it always happens. Nothing new, but it’s making the ride much more interesting… ~*~*~*~*~* “… and did you see the face she made when she tried the beer? Figures she doesn’t really like Japanese beer…” Rika laughs when she thinks about it again and I have to grin too. It was just funny when Andrea tried Japanese beer for the first time this evening. Andrea is German and a pen friend of Keiko whose birthday we celebrated today, and the girl visits Keiko at the moment. She has holidays at the moment and used that opportunity to make one of her dreams come true, to visit her friend Keiko in Japan. Don’t know what’s so great about Japan, but I think it’s because I live here. I think Germany is interesting and Andrea says she would like to move away from there as soon as possible. Seems to be normal not to be proud of your country and dreaming of living in another one… I smile at Rika and slides my arm into hers, pulling her closer to me while we walk down the street. “I don’t really like it either. I prefer different ones…” My friend scowls at me before she laughs again. “Spoiled, American brat. But you’re right, it’s disgusting… we should import more of the stuff.” Oh yes, Irish beer for example. I really like Guinness beer, it’s much better than that Japanese stuff… “But her party was great. I really like it, in her new apartment and all. It’s become really nice, remember what it look like when she moved there…” Keiko really worked much in the last few months and now her apartment is really nice, I wouldn’t mind living in it myself. But the work beforehand I wouldn’t have liked to do… the apartment had been cheap because there was so much work to do, but Keiko had liked the place and bought it nevertheless. “Yeah, the party was cool. And the food was great.” I smile and poke my smaller friend into her ribs. “You always think about food. You should pay attention, continue to eat so much like you did today and you’re going to get fat.” Rika gaps at me and then squeaks before she frees her arm and hits her fist on my back. “Oh, you… you’re a jerk, Youji, a really nasty one. It’s not my fault that woman gain weight much easier than you men do… and you don’t seem to never gain weight, I think you were born without that ability…” I laugh and then slide my arm around her waist which makes her huff. “I prefer that. I don’t have to pay attention to what I eat, I never get fat. It’s rather practical.” Rika crosses her arms for a few moments and pouts but then she leans against me. “I imagine… I’d like to be like you, I could eat my favorite cookies all day long and it wouldn’t matter…” Then she suddenly stops walking and I come to a halt as well, turning my head to see what made her stop. She looks a bit confused around her and then at me. “Hey, where’re we going? The bus station is the direction.” I also look around me and notice that she’s right, we seem to have been too lost in our conversation to notice where we were going. But I just shrug and then start to pull her in the direction we were heading into before. “Doesn’t matter, over there is a bigger street where we can find a phone booth and call a taxi, I pay. I’m not in the mood to walk back…” Rika looks at me and frowns lightly when she glances in the direction of the bigger street I just mentioned. “I suppose… but it’s not a street I like walking through at night…” I know what she’s referring to. It’s the red light district over there… no miracle that a woman wouldn’t walk alone along such a street at night. I smile at my friend and hug her tighter. “You’re not alone, I’ll protect you.” She makes a face and then laughs when she hears my words. “Uhh, that sounds cheesy now… but all right my rescuer, when you’re with me I’m not scared of the bad pimps over there. You will beat them to a bloody pulp when they so much as come near me, won’t you?” I title my head to the side and prevent to think about it for a moment before I shake my head, grinning all the time. “No. I’ll hand you over without a fuss, then I have the whole apartment for me alone.” She glares at me and hits my ribs with her elbow before she laughs again. “And all the bills. And the whole rent as well. Is that worth it?” I grin, that’s what I like so much about Rika. She always shoots something back and you can crack jokes like the one earlier and she won’t be upset. I really enjoy her company, she’s the best friend I ever had. I title my head to the side again and think about that, before I shake my head. “No, that’s way too expensive. Perhaps I’m going to fight for you after all…” She smiles at me and bats her lashes while we walk around a corner and enter the main street of the red light district of the town. “Oh, I’m happy about that. I really feel safe now, I’ll have you know.” I smile and just want to say something when I come abruptly to a halt. Rika looks up at me, clearly stunned about my actions, but I barely notice it. My eyes widen and I stare across the street, my heart starts racing. No, that can’t be… no, that’s not… “Youji? Hey, is something wrong?” Yes, definitely. That can’t be real… please, someone tell me that that’s not real… over there, leaning against a streetlamp, stands a slender boy, clad in black jeans and a red top that shows more of his white skin than it covers. I know that outfit… I’ve seen it before in classes… and that hair lets no place for doubts, it’s fiery red… that’s Ran over there… leaning against a streetlamp in the red light district… I can only stare in shock when a man walks over to him and stops in front of him. A hand comes up and is placed on the redheads chest while the second one puts a few bills into the back pocket of the tight jeans. The pale face is absolutely expressionless when the man grabs the redheads wrist and drags the boy away from the streetlamp, in the direction of a car. The man is grinning wildly… I wonder if he knows that he’s about to fuck a kid that still goes to school… I swallow and try to calm my heartbeat down before I notice that Rika’s talking to me. I look down to her, knowing that the shock is still there in my eyes. She looks at me worriedly and then reaches up to touch my cheek before she tries to talk to me again. “Youji… hey, what’s wrong?” I take a deep breath and glance over at the car, where Ran just disappears into. Rika follows my eyes and then frowns at me. “Do you know him?” I swallow again and then look sadly at my friend. “Yes… that’s Ran…” Her dark eyes widen when she realizes what I just said and she stares at the dark car. “Shit… Ran? The Ran from your favorite class? Are you sure?” I snort weakly and then nod. “Yes… he’s unique, you won’t find another redhead with violet eyes here…” Rika nods and then chews on her bottom lip. “Hm… but that’s sick, he’s a child! He’s 16 or 17, what the hell is he doing here?” That was made pretty clear just a few minutes ago… he’s a prostitute… Ran’s a prostitute… the boy of whom I thought he had to have a great, rich family, many activities after school, is a whore… it’s shocking, but somehow it’s making sense now… he gets off the bus on different stations… perhaps he goes to his costumers? Perhaps that’s why he doesn’t have the time to do his homework at home, because he has this ‘job’ after school… perhaps it’s what he dresses up for, he sells his body for money and has to look good for it… perhaps that’s the explanation for the weak smiles and worn expressions… he’s a prostitute… why does he do it? What does he need the money for? And why can’t he get that from his parents? I want to break something. How can a young, polite withdrawn man like Ran be a prostitute? The worn expressions and tired smiles show that it gets to him, that he hates it… perhaps somebody forces him… but how…? The image I had of him is broken… I always thought of him smiling and happy… but now… it’s more that tired expression I think of when thinking about him… I thought he was happy, had a good life… and then I discover this… it makes painfully clear that I don’t know anything about him… and that the theories I’m making about people have nothing to do with reality… in fact my mind fooled me into believing that he was something special, something beautiful and mysterious… and now I discover this… what a stupid game did my thoughts play on me… “Youji?” Rika looks at me worriedly and I try to smile weakly but I feel that it’s not very convincing… but what do you want to do when you just discovered that one of your favorite pupils is a whore? “I’m all right… just let’s go home.” She looks at me for a few moments but then she nods and starts to walk in the direction of the nest phone booth. “Okay.” I follow her, my thoughts still turning around Ran. I have to do something… I can’t just pretend I haven’t seen anything. He has a problem… and I want to help him. I like that boy and can’t just let him sell his body for whatever he needs the money… there has to be something I can do for him… just what? It’s clear that I won’t get much sleep tonight, not after what I’ve just seen… but what I know is that I have do something… and that I won’t try to come up with an explanation for his odd behavior tonight… ~*~*~*~*~* Notes: I promise there’s going to be a sequel to this. I’m already working on it. ^^ Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)