Love is a drug   von aprileagle
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                            Kapitel 3: Taking care
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Chapter three: Taking care

It was the biggest hospital Haruka had ever seen. And it was the noblest one.
There weren't people waiting on the corridors, there were no children screaming
and no adults arguing with each other. The nurses seemed to be friendly and
patient. Not as stressed as the nurses Haruka had seen during her long time in a
six bed room. Here there seemed to be only single bed rooms. 
"We're a little bit late." Michiru looked at her watch and sighed deeply. "Gomen
that you had to wait, Haruka, but the rehearsal lasted a little bit longer than
I had expected." Michiru didn't seem to notice the hospital at all. She seemed
to be used to private hospitals and especially to this one. Without hesitation
she walked along the corridor. Obviously she knew where she was going. Haruka
slightly remembered how Setsuna told her that their mother had a dangerous flu
the last year and almost spent the whole winter here.
"The concert tomorrow is very important. They want to record it for a live CD."
Talked Michiru on and on and kneaded her gloves in her hands. She was excited,
too. What the doctor would say about the health of little Hotaru. The girl sat
in her child's seat Setsuna bought them the last week and slept deep and tight,
holding the dolphin in her small arms. 
I hope Dr. Sugara-san is able to help her.
Michiru knew that Haruka had been to different hospitals with her daughter. That
the doctors there discovered the heart problem. But they didn't examine Hotaru
the way Dr. Sugara-san would do it. 
Hope they told Haruka the truth that Hotaru's illness is healable with an
operation.
Because Michiru didn't know what to do if those other doctors had been wrong.
Or, what would be even worse, if it was too late. If Hotaru had been operated
quickly to be saved. Haruka didn't have the money and waited for two more
months. Maybe two more months too long...
Michiru turned her head and looked at a very pale Haruka who held the baby seat
carefully in her arms. She watched her sleeping daughter thoughtful and Michiru
knew that she had the same doubts, the same dark fears.
Let's get in and find out.
Michiru took a deep breath before she knocked on the door. The nurse at the
entrance had already called the doctor, so they didn't have to wait for too
long. He was an old classmate of Michiru's father. He was fifty years and his
dark hairs were already grey at the rims. But he was the best of his profession.
And Michiru wouldn't be satisfied with anyone else than the best surgeon. He was
alone. As she had expected. He was always alone to meet his patients for the
first time. After he knew what was wrong and what was to be done, he called his
colleagues. But only then.
"Michiru! It's an honour for me." He called out and took off his glasses. His
dark eyes sparkled and again she knew why he was one of her parent's best
friends. Maybe he was already fifty, maybe he was the best surgeon of Tokyo,
maybe even of Japan, he already was young in his heart. And sometimes he and her
father did jokes. With him you could steal horses.
"You grew again a little bit during the last time we've seen, right?" he came
over to her and embraced her shortly. "You look more and more beautiful with
every day. Just like your mother."
For a moment Michiru's face was covered with shadows, then she cheered up. She
knew how he meant it and knew that it was a compliment, not an insult.
"Teaser." She smiled and bowed deeply. 
"How are your parents feeling? Everything okay? And your sister?"
"They are all fine."
"Is Setsuna still studying?"
"No, she finished her studies. She works now for a computer firm."
"Then my congratulations. That's what she always wanted, right? To have a job
where she can sleep until noon."
"Hai, and stay awake until dawn."
They both smiled, but got serious again as Hotaru opened her tried eyes and
whimpered frightened. This was a strange environment and for a moment she didn't
know if her mother or the other nice girls were around. She started to cry but
calmed down, as Haruka put down the baby seat and took her daughter carefully in
her arms.
"Everything is fine, Himme-chan." Whispered the tall blonde and rocked her
daughter. Tenderly she kissed salty tears away and leaned her forehead against a
tiny one. She could feel how little fingers grabbed for her strands and gulped.
Suddenly tears sparkled in her eyes and it was hard for her not to let them
fall.
Don't worry, Himme-chan, I won't let anything happen to you. Everything will be
fine, you will see. This doctor will heal you, Himme-chan. You'll be a strong
little girl soon. Running around and killing my nerves.
Haruka couldn't say it aloud. She knew that she would have sobbed if she would
have said all these words to her daughter. Words she wanted so badly to believe
in herself. But she felt that her daughter understood her as a dolphin was
pressed against her nose. As she heard a silent but high giggle.
"And that's our small patient."
Haruka raised her head as the doctor came over to her. He smiled openly. And
understanding. He seemed to be the friendliest doctor she had ever met before.
Remember, he doesn't know who you are.
Is that important?
No. Not this time...
"Hai." Answered Michiru, still fighting with her gloves. "Some other doctors
said that she has a heart mistake and that only an operation can save her."
"What's her name?" the doctor bent down and looked into dark green eyes. Hotaru
squinted, then she smiled a happy smile and knocked the dolphin on the doctor's
nose. 
"Hotaru." Answered Haruka, still wondering why the doctor didn't put the toy
away. He even made a funny face. He really seemed to be different from all the
other doctors Haruka had met before.
Hai, because he doesn't know how you got her and how she got her heart illness.
"Tenô Hotaru."
"So, you are Hotaru-chan." Whispered the doctor and stroke playful over the
girl's face. Hotaru's eyes followed his fingers interested and Haruka sensed
that this was one of the examination Hotaru would have to tolerate today. Still
it seemed to be fun for her. Still.
"Where have you been with her, Tenô-san?" asked the doctor after a while and
watched how Hotaru closed her eyes slowly. She was already exhausted and fell
fast asleep. Haruka lowered her head and named him the names of the hospitals
she had been. After they found her on the street, merely dead than alive. After
she realized that she was pregnant and didn't want to make mistakes with the
unborn child. After she got strong labour pains - two weeks too early and gave
birth to a beautiful daughter. After Hotaru almost suffocated one night and they
all wondered what was wrong with the little child who was blue in the face. 
The doctor didn't say a word. He only turned around and glanced at Michiru who
shrugged her shoulders. They both knew in which region of Tokyo those hospitals
were but they both knew that this wasn't the time to ask stupid questions.
"Those doctors are very well educated, too." Said Dr. Sugara and stroke through
fluffy dark hairs. "But they don't have the possibilities to help her the way we
can."
The doctor went over to his desk and took his phone.
"We can start with the tests right now if that's okay for you." He said and
dialled some numbers. "They will last this afternoon and as quick as possible
we'll have the results."
Haruka frowned as he asked her. Her and not Michiru who paid all these tests.
"Is that okay for you?" he repeated his question and smiled encouraging. 
Haruka glanced over to Michiru who still fought with her gloves who wouldn't
survive the next hours. Then she looked down at her sleeping daughter who felt
save and secure in her arms. Never she wanted to miss that feeling again. And
when she had to let go her daughter one day, then she wanted to see a happy girl
running through the garden and not an empty place in an even emptier flat...
The tall blonde gulped and gulped again. And finally nodded.
"Hai." It sounded like a sob and she felt incredibly fearful. 
I love you, Himme-chan.
Nothing will happen to you.
You will be happy. A happy, wild girl. I promise you.
"May I come with her? She's afraid of injections."
"Of course."

***

Michiru couldn't hear the whimpering crying. But she could feel the girl's pain.
Deeply the rich girl sighed as she looked through the window to the other room.
Haruka sat on a bed and rocked her crying daughter in her arms. Little Hotaru
wasn't even interested in her dolphin. She had clenched her fists and her face
was dark red. Tears streamed over her cheeks.
The doctor said something to Haruka, but the tall blonde only nodded and kissed
her daughter's forehead and whispered comforting words. Of course the injections
hurt. Of course Hotaru didn't like it. But they had to take blood from her. The
other examinations had been not so painful. Listening to her heart beat and
looking at her while she breathed through different machines was strange but
okay for the little girl while her mother was around. Her mother and her loved
dolphin. But the injection had hurt and she whimpered now. Because of the pain
and because of protest. They couldn't simply hurt her like that. It was unfair!
She was tired, exhausted and a little bit hungry and they simply hurt her!
Haruka nodded again as the doctor said something and talked again to her
daughter. Michiru who stood outside on the corridor because she couldn't watch
the injection kneaded her gloves even tighter, not noticing how one of them was
torn apart.
She is a damn good mother.
I hope we are not too late.
Michiru gulped as the doctor put the injection away and come out of the
corridor. He looked a little bit pale. Michiru didn't like that look. She liked
it more when he smiled.
"And, Dr. Sugara-san?" she asked and went over to a chair as he showed her to
sit down. He looked back through the window, seeing how little Hotaru calmed
down and even smiled again as Haruka played with the dolphin, and sighed
deeply.
"She is a cute little girl. And very brave." Said the doctor and sat down next
to Michiru. "It was clear that she cried when we have to use the injection. But
the rest of the afternoon she was very nice and brave." He glanced again over to
his newest and surely to his smallest patient and shook his head again.
"Who is she?" he asked and looked again at a very pale Michiru. He knew this
girl for now eight years. He knew that she loved her family with all her heart
and that she had been very concerned when Meioh-san had been very ill the past
winter. But she hardly had any friends. She only cared for her family, her music
and her drawings. She was very good at school but there was hardly anyone around
when he visit the family. Only that red haired girl, but she didn't count,
because she was almost family. One day, Dr. Sugara was sure, this girl would be
adopted or married or something like that by a family member.
"Haruka saved my life the last winter." Answered Michiru honestly after some
moments of hesitation and destroyed her second glove as well. "Four rude guys
tried to attack me and she protected me and beat them down. We... we lost sight
of each other during the following months and then I got to know about her
daughter and about the heart illness. I told her that I would help her..."
Michiru sighed deeply. "I know that I am not allowed to get to know the results
of the tests, but I ask you to tell them to me, first. I don't know how Haruka
will react when they are negative." Michiru sighed deeply.
Dr. Sugara nodded and pulled out an application form and a pencil. 
"So you are Tenô Hotaru's godmother. Is that right?" Without waiting for the
answer he wrote it down. Together with some other dates he knew of her. "We can
do all those formalities later when we have the results, right? I try to make it
as fast as possible."
He gave her the form and smiled encouraging. It was somehow a sad smile.
"Just sign it, okay? I'll take care for the rest."
"Arigato, Dr. Sugara-san." Whispered Michiru and took the pencil. After she
threw away her broken gloves into the next dustbin. "How does it look right
now?"
"To be honest, Michiru, not very well. Hotaru-chan is a brave and strong girl,
but her heart makes me really concerned. It is very weak."
Michiru gulped and her signature looked a little bit more sloped than normal.
"Too weak?"
"We'll see. I hope not."
Michiru and the doctor turned their heads and looked again through the glass
window. To watch how Haruka rocked a sleeping girl. They couldn't hear her, but
they knew that she was humming a soft melody. A sleepy smile laid on Hotaru's
relaxed face. Her tiny hands held the dolphin tight. As if the little girl
didn't want to let go.

***

"What did the doctor tell you?"
Haruka put the seat with her sleeping daughter carefully on the backseat and
took care for the seatbelt. Then she sat down next to Michiru who started the
engine. This time the radio and the classical music stayed off.
"He said that Himme-chan was a very nice and brave girl. He said that it's
normal that little children cry when they have to take blood from them." Michiru
concentrated on the street as they drove out of Tokyo, back to their house near
the beach.
"And about the tests?"
Shortly Michiru glanced over to Haruka and decided against it. It was no use to
make her even more afraid than she surely was. Of course the tall blonde didn't
show it. She was only a little bit paler than normal, but she would have never
admitted it. Michiru thought that it was enough when one of them would have
sleepless nights and stare at the mute telephone for hours.
"Fine." Michiru tried to smile and cursed a little bit too loud as an old man
was too slow with his big car. Shortly she looked in all mirrors and overtook
him. Still cursing. "Such a lazy cock!" she growled and sighed deeply. "Dr.
Sugara-san said that the tests looked fine. He only waits for the results to be
sure. We'll know more in about a week."
Haruka only nodded. One week sounded fine. For the last tests they made in one
of those hospitals they had needed almost three weeks. Three weeks which would
have cost her daughter's life in the emergency.
For a while they drove in total silence. It was Friday evening. No school for
the next two days. Suddenly homework seemed to be alike for Michiru who never
missed one single homework over the past eight years. 
"Haruka?" she asked while she stopped the car in front of their house and turned
towards the tall blonde.
"Hai?"
"I'll give a concert tomorrow evening? Do you want to come and listen to me?"

***

"Don't worry, Haruka, we'll take good care of her." Elza smiled as the tall
blonde went on her knees and corrected her daughter's blanket. The little girl
laid in her cradle, right next to the couch. Elza already held the remote
control in her left and a bag full with pop corn in her right hand. 
"But don't turn the TV so loud. She wants to sleep, not to watch TV." Haruka's
look was strict and Elza rolled her eyes.
"Don't worry, mommy, we're the most perfect baby sitters this world has."
Haruka doubted this, but she kept silent. Setsuna took care for Hotaru while she
was at school with Michiru and Haruka knew that she could trust the young woman.
She would argue with Elza before the red haired girl could do anything wrong.
"Hey, don't make such a face, Haruka! You know that I am trustworthy! Go out and
have a nice evening. Michiru really plays the violin really great."
Haruka nodded and smiled as her daughter smacked in her sleep and held her
dolphin tighter. 
Go out.
It almost sounded like a date. But it wasn't one. Haruka knew it. She only came
to listen to the concert, because Setsuna had to finish her programme for the
computer firm and couldn't come and Elza wanted to watch a movie instead. Elza
didn't like classic music so much. Everyone wondered why she was in the school
orchestra then, because when she started to play her saxophone it never sounded
very classical.
Remember, she only asked you because she doesn't want to go all alone.
Maybe she needs someone known in the audience to play in front of so many
strange people?
But it was alike how much Haruka tried to say herself that it was not a date.
Not at all! Still she felt as if she would go to one. She wore an expensive
suit. It was dark, the traditional colour. It didn't fit perfectly. It was too
wide. But Elza took some clips and suddenly it looked perfect. Haruka would have
never taken so good looking clothes to go to a concert. But on the other hand
she couldn't remember the last time she had been to a concert to listen to
classical music.
"My..." Setsuna entered the living room and stared for some moments at the
kneeling blonde. "Where did you get that suit from?"
"That used to be my dad's." explained Elza and beamed proudly up to the young
woman. "I asked Mary and she showed it to me. He seemed to have had the same
seize as Haruka." There was no regret in Elza's voice. Not even the slightest
hint of sadness. She had been too young when her parents died. She couldn't
remember them. As she couldn't remember a life with them. She always said that
she couldn't morn after something she never knew. Besides she have had the best
parents in her life: Setsuna's parents. The same her own grandparents had been a
fantastic family, still were. When they were home and not travelling all around
the world. They used to take her to those mystic places in Africa and South
America, too, but now she had to go to school and could only accompany them in
the summer vacations.
"Good idea." Setsuna put the notebook down on the table and inspected Haruka
attentive who sighed relieved. Setsuna obviously seemed to work here this
evening, so she could have an eye of Elza and her crazy doing. "You look really
good."
"Arigato." Marbled the tall blonde who wasn't used to compliments and leaned
forwards to kiss her daughter good night. 
"Although I don't know, why not a dress?"
"Stupid question, Sissy! Do you want to wear a mini skirt?" answered Elza and
put the pop corn next to the notebook. "Although it would really look
tempting."
Setsuna blushed and made an angry face.
"It would look stupid and I wouldn't feel fine in it. Oh..." She glanced again
at Haruka and sighed deeply. "Okay, you two are right." She went over to the
kitchen and soon the fridge was opened. They didn't eat to dinner yet. Michiru
said that she never ate something before a concert and mostly attacked an
innocent Italian Restaurant afterwards. Setsuna seemed to make herself a snack
while Elza obviously preferred unhealthy but delicious food like pop corn and
crisps.
"Nani? It's already seven?" they heard Michiru's scream and shortly afterwards
how someone jumped down the staircase. Taking two steps at once. "I am late!"
cried the young musician and Orpheus howled with her. Excitedly, because the big
dog thought that they would go out for a walk. The bigger was the disappointment
as Michiru took her jacket and her violin case but not the collar. Deeply the
St. Bernhard dog sighed and trotted back into the living room to lay down next
to the cradle and to protect the youngest member of this crazy family.
"Haruka! Come! I am late!" Without looking at her sister and Elza again, Michiru
grabbed Haruka's arm and pulled her with her.
"Our conductor will kill me." She shook her head and was already out of the
door. The car keys jingled in her hands and it was Haruka who held her as she
stumbled downstairs and almost fell down. Michiru only whispered a short
>Arigato<, not hearing how Setsuna wished her loudly good luck. Then they both
sat down in the Silver Ferrari and the car drove away with incredible speed.
"Take care of yourself." Said Setsuna and wrapped her arms around her freezing
body. It got more and more chilly with every day that passed by. Autumn was
almost over. Winter would begin soon. With cold weather. With rain and finally
with snow. It was only a matter of time.
Setsuna watched the darkness around her house for another minute, before she
went back into the living room. Her sandwich stood still on the table and she
was hungry. Elza wanted to watch a movie, but she knew that she could
concentrate on her programme as long as the house wouldn't burn down. The moment
she switched on her notebook she could forget the whole world around her and
work concentrated. The same happened when she opened a book. Something that
irritated Michiru at the beginning and something that made Elza crazy. Still
yet. Because different from Michiru who drew a nice picture or played her
violin, Elza always wanted to have her attention. She was like a puppy who
wanted on her lap and be petted against the ears.
Setsuna got angry about herself as she felt how she blushed at that idea. The
next moment she got even more angrier.
"Where is my sandwich?" she said loudly and looked unbelieving at the empty
plate. Her stomach growled sadly. Elza gulped and smiled innocently.
"Orpheus ate it." She said and tried to hide something behind her back. The dog
only raised the head but Setsuna knew that the big St. Bernhard dog had manners.
Different from Elza.
"What do you have behind your back?" Setsuna raised her eyebrows as Elza's smile
got even more innocent.
"Nothing."
"Why don't you show me your nice hands then?"
"I don't want to." Now Elza was sulking. Still trying to hide something behind
her back. Setsuna knew the red haired girl too well to know what it was.
"If you dirty this couch with butter you'll regret it." Said Setsuna and came
slowly nearer. Elza tried to evade but she didn't want to give up her place near
the TV set. 
"And what will you do?"
"You'll see!"
The next moment Setsuna was on the couch and embraced Elza. But not to tickle
her as Elza feared for the first moment, but to reach the sandwich the smaller
girl was still holding in her hands. Now she raised them in the air so that
Setsuna could see the half eaten cheese and fresh salad sandwich. It was the
last fresh salad and Elza had known that. Setsuna forgot to buy new one as she
went shopping yesterday while Haruka and Michiru were away with Hotaru. Setsuna
believed to know where they had been, but she wanted to talk to Michiru on her
own. In peace. Not when an always asking and begging Elza was around and danced
on her nerves. Like she did it right now.
"Elza. I am hungry!" 
"Me, too!"
"But you have your pop corn!"
"We can share it!"
"But I don't want to share my sandwich!"
"Why don't you make yourself a new one then?"
"Why don't YOU make yourself a new one? This is MINE!"
"But you made it with so much love."
"I made it with the last salad we have!"
"You can take yourself a sausage instead. You eat meat!"
"It's not my fault that you don't like sausages."
"But I like cheese."
"We have enough cheese in the fridge."
"But no salad."
"That's not my problem!"
"Please, Sissy..."
"No Sissy, Grey Elza! This is my sandwich. Give it back to me!"
"I can't read your name anywhere on it."
"Arg!"
Setsuna tried to reach it, but the couch was softer than she had expected. And
smaller. Her right leg suddenly left the white underground and she lost her
balance. Searching for hold she grabbed at Elza who was too surprised to rescue
her. Instead she tried to save the sandwich and lost her hold, too. They both
crashed from the couch and Elza landed on Setsuna who made a tortured sound.
Something crashed from the table and before they could react, pop corn trickled
down at them like snow. Elza who had to decide to break her right arm or to lose
the sandwich, let go of the delicious meal and finally found a little bit
balance back.
Orpheus raised the head and trotted over to them. But not to help them. Instead
the big St. Bernhard dog sniffed at the sandwich and decided that it was better
than the normal dog food. It was eaten before the two women could react.
"No, Orpheus!" Setsuna closed her eyes and shook her head. "Why me?" She
whispered. "Why me?"
Elza instead started to giggle. Until she couldn't hold it back any longer and
broke out into loud laughter. Orpheus seemed to be happy and Setsuna's suffering
face was worth all anger this would follow in at least five minutes. When
Setsuna would find back to her senses and come over the pain that Orpheus really
at the sandwich with the last salad.
"That's not funny!" growled Setsuna. "And you should get off me. You are
heavy!"
"I am not heavy! Or do you want to tell me that I am thick?" laughed Elza and
sat herself on Setsuna's lap to wipe away the tears from the corners of her
eyes. She had to giggle again as Setsuna gasped for breath as the weight was
taken away from her lungs.
"Don't tease me around! I know that I am not thick!" She giggled again and
couldn't stop somehow. Setsuna's tortured face was simply too funny.
"My little..." said the young woman but her voice died away as she opened her
eyes. Unbelieving she stared at the red haired girl, before she blushed deeply
and turned her head away.
"Don't you think that it's a little bit too cold outside to forget your bra?"
she asked and her voice was suddenly icy. Elza frowned and looked down at
herself. Somehow her top was half opened. Surely the zipper opened when they
fell struggling from the couch. Now you could see her breasts.
"I have a thick jacket." Answered Elza, still giggling, and closed her top
again. "Besides I don't need bras. My breasts are too small. It's always
disappointing to buy the smallest bras. Mostly I only take them when I run, but
that's all."
Too small?
Setsuna silently disagreed and blushed even more about that thought.
"You could get a..." Setsuna winced hard as she suddenly felt two hands on her
shirt. 
"Hm... seems as if yours are a little bit bigger." Elza's grinning face appeared
in front of her. "Why don't you give me something from your breasts and I'll
make you a sandwich instead?"
For a moment Setsuna couldn't move. Then she pushed the smaller girl away and
rose. Her face was hidden in shadows as she stumbled over to the kitchen.
"That was not very funny." Was all she said before she opened the fridge again
to stare for about ten minutes at the content. Realising that she wasn't hungry
with a sudden any longer.
"Funny?" Elza corrected her mini skirt and started to collect the pop corn that
wouldn't be the victim of the vacuum cleaner later. "Did anyone say that it
should be funny?"
But she didn't dare to go over to Setsuna. The young woman had looked too angry.
Instead Elza sat down back on the couch, started to movie and watched it in
silence while she waited for the other one to return. She waited almost the
whole movie.

***

It seemed as if the concert hall was sold out. No seat seemed to be empty and
the concert hall was big. Haruka looked unsure around, holding the ticket
tighter in her hands. She didn't know this hall nor did she know where to sit.
Michiru had to leave her the moment they entered the concert hall. There were
suddenly flash lights and reporters every where. A nice man showed Haruka the
way to her seat but somehow she lost him in the mass and now she stood there,
not knowing what to do. Of course there were numbers on the seats and numbers on
her ticket, but she couldn't find the right line and she had the feeling that
the concert would start soon. She didn't want to stand and to disturb Michiru's
music. She hardly knew how Michiru's music sounded. Of course she had already
heard it. When she woke up in the middle of the night, it could happen that
Michiru practised in her room next to her. Sometimes she heard the soft music
when she fed her daughter or when she changed nappies before dawn. Michiru
didn't seem to sleep a lot. Because most of the night she really spent playing
her music. But it was surely different to hear her here. Live. On a stage. Where
she had to play the whole song and not interrupt it again and again and again
until she got the right note in the right rhythm.
"May I help you?"
She turned around and looked into a smiling face. The woman seemed to be around
the fifty. She was a head smaller than Haruka but had incredible charisma. Her
dark green hairs were slightly covered with green strands. They were put
together in a complicate knot in her neck. The dark green dress looked very
expensive and fitted perfectly to her.
"Hai. I am searching for this seat." Haruka said and showed her the ticket. The
woman frowned and looked at her. Then she looked again at the ticket and the
friendly smile returned to her face. "That's next to mine. I'll show you the way
if you want."
"That would be very nice of you."
Haruka bowed shortly before she followed the woman through half of the hall.
They went through different corridors and as they entered the hall again, they
were over most of the seats. In a balcony, right next to the stage. Here you
surely had the best view on the orchestra, the conductor and the solo musician.
The woman sat down and opened a small booklet. It showed which songs would be
played and there were some dates about Michiru. Haruka tried to read them, but
the woman closed the booklet again before she had the change to read more than
Michiru's date of birth. Which was over seventeen years ago.
"You've never been to one of her concerts, right?"
"Oh, is that so obvious?" answered Haruka who didn't feel so well in her suit.
Elza had told her that she looked great in it and Setsuna seemed to like it,
too, but Michiru didn't say a word and this woman who seemed to know the world
of classic very well, saw that she wasn't used to such concerts. At the very
first sight.
"I've simply never seen you around here."
Haruka frowned and watched how thousands of people took their places.
"There're many people outside. How can you..."
"These seats here are special. They are reserved for family members." Answered
the woman but before Haruka could ask more, the lights went off and the stage
was illuminated. First there was the orchestra. Together with the conductor.
Haruka clapped well as they all did, but simply forgot to move her hands as
Michiru entered the stage. Or better, to float on the stage. She had her hairs
open, as always. They seemed to be even more curly than normal. A tender smile
laid on her face. The light blue dress seemed to sparkle in the light as she
bowed before the audience. It almost touched the ground and covered her foot.
Haruka frowned and suddenly knew why the stage was covered with soft carpet.
Michiru was barefoot. She didn't use any make up nor did she wear any jewellery.
Haruka hadn't seen it while she wore her winter jacket and had been in hectic to
come to her concert in time. But know she saw it. Michiru in her element. The
smile became even more tender as she put the violin on her left shoulder and
raised the bow. The conductor saw the sign and the orchestra started to play. It
was a tender melody. Haruka knew it, but she couldn't remember who wrote the
melody. Nor could she remember the song's name. But it was touching. At that
moment Michiru closed her eyes and started to play. She didn't need any notes,
she seemed to know the melody by heart.
She only stood there and played as if it was the most natural thing on earth. As
if she had never done anything else in her life. As if she was born to play and
to make other people happy.
She looks like mermaid in the sea.
Haruka frowned but didn't know where that thought came from. Instead she leaned
a little bit forward, put her hands on the rim and simply watched Michiru play.
She is so beautiful.
So beautiful...
Suddenly she didn't look like the strict girl again, determined to take her
home. To let her be a senshi, whatever that was. Still Haruka didn't know what
it really was, what those fights meant, what a talisman could do, but whatever
their so called mission was, Haruka instinctively knew that she had protect
Michiru. Not only because Setsuna asked her to do so at school. But because it
seemed to be right. Michiru looked so fragile on the stage. Only she and her
music. Hai, she looked fragile. And alone.
Like me...
Haruka gulped and had to close her eyes, too.
>Do you see now who I am?<
For the split of a second she saw a girl sitting next to her. She wore a strange
uniform. It looked a little bit like the girl's uniform at school. 
>Do you see now who you are?<
Haruka frowned but didn't know what to respond. The other girl reached for her
hand but before she could touch it, the song ended and the vision was gone. The
tall blonde opened her eyes and glanced down at Michiru who bowed towards the
audience. Then she raised her head and seemed to stare directly into Haruka's
eyes. Although the tall girl knew that this was impossible. It was too dark in
the audience. She couldn't see her. She could only sense her somewhere in the
shadows of the balcony.
"She really improved over the past years." The woman next to her smiled and
rose. "Guess it's time to terrify her a little bit." With a snicker she went
away. Haruka was left behind. But her attention was drawn back to the stage as a
well dressed man entered the stage. He wore a microphone.
"My ladies and gentlemen, it's a big honour for me, to introduce you to our
guest star." Haruka saw how Michiru's head jerked around and how she almost
dropped her violin as someone entered the room. It was the woman who had sat
next to Haruka one minute ago. Her charisma grew in the lights of the stage and
a wide smile appeared on her face. She opened her arms and embraced Michiru who
seemed to fight with her tears.
"Meioh Aiko wants to sing the next opera song, accompanied by her daughter."
Meioh Aiko?
Haruka saw how Michiru wiped away some tears of happiness and whispered
something to her mother who giggled in return. Then they both nodded and Aiko
took the micro while Michiru raised her violin again.
Her mother?
Seemed to be all very musical.
I wonder why Setsuna doesn't play an instrument.
Haruka watched them for some seconds. Michiru didn't close her eyes this time.
She played and glanced over to her mother to play the right notes at the right
moment. Aiko started to sing with a professional opera voice and they both
smiled at each other. They looked really happy.
As happy as I used to be.
Haruka sighed deeply and felt how her eyes started to burn. Again she looked at
the happy Michiru and finally turned her head away. To stare at her cold hands,
being clenched in her lap.
>Parents are stupid.<
>Do you really think so, Haru-chan?<
>Hai. They simply left me.<
>But they didn't do it voluntarily.<
>No, but it's unfair of them to go and to leave me behind.<
>You've loved them, didn't you, Haru-chan?<
>...<
>Didn't you?<
>... hai ...<
>And, did they love you?<
>... hai ...<
>Then they had been great parents.<
>But they simply went away! They were no great parents then!<
>They were. They loved you, Haru-chan. Some other parents don't love their
children.<
>But they are dead!<
>They are dead, but I am sure that they still love you, where ever they are.<
>...<
>My parents are still alive, Haru-chan, but they hate me. I like your parents
more.<
>All parents are mean!<
It had been alike what Hikari told her, Haruka had been too deeply hurt from her
parent's sudden death, the older girl couldn't convince her. No matter how much
she tried it. Haruka have had a fantastic childhood, so different from Hikari's
one. But she couldn't come over her parent's death. Not during the first time
she escaped the orphanage. Maybe she would never really overcome that pain
inside her heart, but slowly, very slowly she realized that she had been wrong.
Not all parents were mean and her parents haven't had another chance. The truck
had been too big and too fast...
Haruka gulped and took a deep breath.
Now she was a parent herself. A mother for Himme-chan. She wanted to be good.
No, she wanted to be more than good. She wanted to be perfect. Or at least, she
wanted always to be there for her daughter. She knew that she couldn't be
perfect. She couldn't give her daughter a proper home. She couldn't give her a
real family. If there was a father for Hotaru outside, Haruka wouldn't find him.
She didn't want to find him, because he wouldn't have want her. The same she
didn't want him. Especially not after he had surely done to her.
No, she wasn't perfect. She didn't even earn enough money to pay the operation.
She had to make a dangerous deal with a total stranger who seemed to become more
and more familiar with every day that passed. She couldn't give Hotaru a father
nor any brother or sisters later on. She couldn't give her a big house to live
in. She didn't even have enough money to buy a cradle for her. If Elza wouldn't
have persisted to buy the one with the teddy bears on it, she still would be
forced to sleep in her mother's bed. There were so many things Haruka couldn't
give her daughter. But she knew, that she could give her at least one thing, the
maybe most important thing: She could give her love. Endless love.
The song ended and Haruka raised her head again. Seeing how mother and daughter
bowed towards the audience. How the audience rose and clapped even louder. How
mother and daughter embraced. Happy. Loved.
Haruka suddenly started to freeze.
Hikari had been right. As always. Parents aren't mean. Not those parents who
love their children. Just the way Meioh-san loves Michiru. Just the way I love
my Himme-chan. Just the way my parents loved me...
It was now a long time that they died.
But Haruka knew that it was alike how many years would pass, she would always
feel the pain inside her heart. The loneliness inside her soul.

***

They reached the climax of the third movie as Hotaru started silently to
whimper. Elza stopped the video recorder and wanted to go over to the cradle,
but Setsuna was faster. She closed her notebook and went on her knees next to
the cradle. Carefully she pulled the baby in her arms and talked softly to her.
It looked very skilful. Setsuna had have a lot of time to practice while Haruka
had been at school together with Michiru and Elza. She knew how to calm little
Hotaru down. And she knew the best how to feed her.
Elza sighed slightly and went over to the kitchen to heat up the bottle and to
handle it Setsuna. The young woman didn't look up. Nor did she say anything. Not
to Elza. The whole time she stared at the little girl, whispering soft words.
Then she started patiently to feed her. Quickly she got to know that Hotaru
needed her time to drink. Still she only suspected the reason why this girl
wasn't as greedy as other babies seemed to be, but she had time. Her programme
could wait for another hour. She had three more days left to finish it and she
knew that she wouldn't need more than one other day. At the maximum.
Elza sat down next to her on the soft carpet and leaned herself against the
couch. Dreamy she watched how Setsuna fed the little girl. She knew that Setsuna
would be even more angry with her, if she would ask her if she felt like a mommy
right now. Setsuna would call her a joker and explain her that she was only
twenty two and too young to have a baby. And that she had no partner to have
children with. So Elza kept silent, but had to smile. Because no matter what
Setsuna would tell her, right now she looked like a mommy. A damn proud mommy
she would surely be. One day...
Of a little girl or a little boy with dark green hairs and a smile that would
steal the hearts of the people she or he would meet. Just like her or his
mommy...
"How late it?"
"Almost eleven."
"Then the concert is over now."
Elza only nodded and wrapped her arms around her knees as Hotaru smacked while
she drank. Setsuna's tender smile grew wider and she raised the bottle a little
bit to help the little girl.
"Surely they will go out to eat something."
"Then they won't return before midnight or even later." Elza lowered her head.
She knew what would come next. That it was late in the evening. That she should
go home. That she should call herself a taxi, because Setsuna had to take care
of the little girl. 
I don't want to go!
Elza told that Setsuna every evening. But every evening Setsuna did win and
brought her home. Of course Elza had an own room in this house, too, but she
hardly stayed over night. There had been seldom a night when she was allowed to
stay. And mostly it hadn't been voluntarily. Christmas two years ago had have so
much snow that they couldn't drive back. The same was with last Sylvester. The
streets were frozen and no one dared to drive, so she could stay. Or there had
been a terrible storm on one summer night. But never Setsuna agreed that she
could stay.
"Guess then it's time to bring our little darling to bed." Smiled Setsuna and
helped Hotaru to make her burp. "Would you please help me to bath her?"
Elza's face brightened up and was covered by a wide grin.
"Of course."

***

"And who is that young man?" wanted Aiko to know. They stood now in Michiru's
changing room where there were no cameras, no flashlights and no reporters.
"Mommy! That's a girl!"
"O, really? Gomen nasai! My doctor is right, I should wear glasses." Excused
Aiko herself but Haruka couldn't be angry as she smiled friendly at her.
>Hey, little boy.<
>I am a girl.<
>I don't believe you. You are such a cute, little boy, you can't be a girl.<
>But...<
>I can see any breasts. You are surely a boy.<
>But...<
>You want it, right? Otherwise you wouldn't be here.<
>I...<
>It's okay, you are new here, right?<
>Hai...<
>Then let me take care of you, little one.<
He had taken care of her. He had almost killed her as he found out that she
didn't lie to him. That she really was a girl but looked like a boy in her
clothes.
"Gomen nasai."
Again Haruka heard the soft voice and jerked out of her dark memories. For a
moment she looked into dark eyes that looked soft at her. Almost loving. Then
she remembered again where she was. That he wasn't around. That he would never
be around again. That those times were over. That she was save now.
At least as save as she could be.
"No problem, Meioh-san." Haruka smiled back, but it was still captured by the
painful feeling that filled suddenly her belly. She knew that it wasn't caused
by the scar. "I am Tenô Haruka."
"She's my best friend." Said Michiru determinedly while she put her violin away.
"I wanted to show her how I play."
Her best friend?
Not only her friend?
Does she mean it or does she lie to her mother to calm her down?
Well, she can't tell her the truth, right?
Right?
Right?
Shut up!
Do you really dare to dream that you can be a friend of that rich girl? She
lives in a different world, don't forget that!
Shut up!
Just shut up!
"And, did you like it?" asked Aiko "Beware, Haruka, one wrong word and she won't
talk to you for ages. She's a little bit conceited when you talk about her
music."
"Mommy!"
They both grinned, so they only teased each other around.
Haruka only nodded, not feeling very well. She didn't belong here, to them. They
were a family, she was simply someone who intrude their private room.
"Of course she liked it! What do you think? Everyone likes my music!"
"See, Haruka, that's what I meant." Aiko giggled again and glanced at her watch
and sighed deeply. "But I am afraid, my dear, that I have to go now. Your father
and I have a concert in Peking tomorrow. I need to catch my fly." Helpless Aiko
raised her shoulders. "I simply wanted to see you play again. Your father wanted
to come, too, but he has a little cold and isn't allowed to fly, because he
needs to be perfect tomorrow."
"I see." Michiru's smile faded and her blue eyes sparkled. She looked suddenly
so lonely that it almost made Haruka's heart break. She didn't want to see
Michiru so sad. Especially not after she had seen how happy she could be.
"Don't look at me this way. I start to cry when you don't smile right now!"
demanded Aiko and Michiru tried to smile. It was a sad one. "Say my best wishes
to Sissy and don't worry, as fast as we finish our tour through China we'll be
back and visit you, okay?"
Aiko embraced her daughter.
"Okay." Whispered Michiru and held her tight. For a moment it looked as if she
wouldn't let her mother go again. But then she stepped back and took again care
of her violin.
"And what do you two guys want to do with the rest of the evening?" asked Aiko
curiously and laughed as Haruka's stomach made its own proposal.

***

"Do you think that this is necessary?"
Setsuna raised asking her eyebrows as Elza stepped into the bath. Now she only
wore an old, black T-shirt that was quickly wetted.
"Hai. You don't want her to drown, right?"
"I only wanted to wash her, to change her nappies and to get her into bed." They
were both in Haruka's bathroom. While Setsuna brought the cradle upstairs, Elza
undressed the little girl and herself. Now Hotaru laid in Elza's arms and seemed
to enjoy the warm water the same the red haired girl did. Carefully Setsuna
started to wash her while little Hotaru grabbed for the red ducky that swam
happily over the waves Elza caused as she made herself more comfortable.
"That's what we're doing, right? We wash her now."
"Did you have to wash yourself, too?"
"Why not?" Elza grinned as a ducky was held under her nose. Hotaru looked really
proud.
"She's a lovely little girl." Sighed Setsuna and caressed with the soft flannel
over Hotaru's left arm. The little girl turned her head and smiled up to the
known woman. Still her mouth was toothless and somehow Setsuna couldn't await to
see the first teeth sparkling in it while the baby smiled happily.
"Hai, she is." Admitted Elza. For a while they washed the baby in silence until
little Hotaru was really clean and almost feel asleep in Elza's arms.
"Better we'll bring her to bed." Said Setsuna finally and rose. Elza nodded and
left the bath. She left a wet trace while she went over to the bed where the
pyjama and the fresh nappy laid but she didn't care about it.
"I'll take care for her. You'll take care of the bathroom, okay? Must look like
the docks now. With a lot of little ships."
"And one red ducky." Giggled Setsuna and laid a towel around Elza's shoulders.
"Don't catch yourself a cold." She said before she went back into the bathroom,
closing the door behind herself.
"Yeah..." whispered Elza and dried little Hotaru carefully. The baby was already
asleep while she helped her in the nappy and in the pyjama. She couldn't believe
it herself that she was able to take care of a baby, but the past weeks changed
her behaviour towards those tiny beings considerable. Okay, she wasn't as good
as Setsuna and no one could be better than Haruka, but she learned a lot and
feeding little Hotaru didn't let her freak out in panic any longer.
She's such a little darling.
Elza kissed the baby good night and laid her carefully in the cradle. Loving she
covered her with the blanket and gave her the dolphin. Hotaru only smiled and
her tiny fingers grabbed for something only she could see. In her dreams.
The red haired girl watched her for a while in silence, then she decided that it
was time to dry herself and to help Setsuna to tidy up the bathroom. Not that
the young woman got even angrier than she had been after they lost the cheese
sandwich with the last salad they have had.
"Sissy?"
Elza let open the door in case that Hotaru would wake up and start to whimper.
"Just gimme two more seconds..." sighed the young woman who sat now in the bath.
The water was still warm and Setsuna's face looked relaxed. She had put soap
into the water and foam covered the surface. Covered Setsuna's naked body. 
"The last nights had been long, hadn't they?" asked Elza who saw the rings under
Setsuna's closed eyes. The dark green hairs were put together to a pony tail.
Some strands curled and with the redden cheeks, Setsuna looked really cute.
Although Elza knew that the young woman would have never believed her.
"You know, I want to finish that programme."
"And I hope that YOU know, that you work too hard."
"No."
"No, of course not." Elza shook her head and sat down on the rim behind the
young woman. She pulled the towel tighter around her body and put her feet into
the still warm water. Setsuna opened her tired eyes and leaned her head back.
Elza froze as she could see the young woman's breasts, but gulped down a
comment, because she didn't want to be fall off the rim.
"What are you doing?" asked Setsuna but didn't look as if she would leave the
warm water the next moment. She looked too exhausted with a sudden.
"How about massaging your shoulders?" suggested Elza and grinned as Setsuna only
leaned forwards and pulled her hairs over her right shoulder.
"Do what you have to do."
Elza grinned even wider and took herself shower gel. Setsuna winced as she put
it on her shoulders.
"Elza! That's cold!"
"Shall I use the microwave instead?"
Setsuna only giggled and shook her head. The next moment she groaned slightly as
Elza's hands touched her shoulders and massaged them softly.
"Goddess, Sissy, your back is a big knot."
"Hm... a little bit more to the right... yeah, that's..."
"You should sleep a little bit more. I mean, you work in the night for that
silly firm and in the morning you have to take care for Himme-chan. And in the
afternoon you already take care for the dinner and for us. You should think of
yourself, Sissy. Sleep a little bit more. Even owls need sleep from time to
time."
"Hm... and now a little bit more to the left... right..."
"Are you listening to me?"
"No, but a little bit higher..."
Elza shook her head before she had to giggle. To be honest, she loved it when
Setsuna was like wax in her hands. Even if it was only for five minutes when she
massaged her shoulders. It was a lot better than the cold atmosphere with which
they had looked the different movies. Or at least, Elza had watched them while
Setsuna had knocked on the keyboard of notebook as if it was her worst enemy.
"Are you still angry with me, Sissy?"
"Angry?"
For a moment Elza stopped but Setsuna's impatiently shaking shoulders let her
start again.
"I mean, that I destroyed the sandwich with the last salad and had to cover the
carpet with pop corn and later on with lemonade."
"No. And if you go a little bit deeper I won't be angry for the rest of the
week."
"Really?" grinned Elza as she saw all the goose flesh she caused.
"Hm..."
"Okay. I'll keep that in mind."

***

It was an expensive restaurant. After they brought Michiru's mother to the
airport and winked her goodbye as she walked towards her plane, they went to go
out for dinner. Haruka didn't feel well in this exclusive place, but what
concerned her more was Michiru's sad expression. The food in front of her was
untouched. Although it contained more mustard than every other meal in the whole
restaurant. The waiter had looked very strange as Michiru ordered it, but he
didn't ask stupid questions as she told him that she would tell the press that
she wasn't served correctly in this restaurant.
"Michiru?" Haruka moved on her chair and leaned a little bit forward. "Michiru?"
Again no one answered. Haruka stretched out her hand and shook it in front of
Michiru's eyes. The rich girl seemed to wake up from a deep dream. Or, as Haruka
saw better as the young violinist raised her head, from a terrible nightmare.
"Everything okay? You should eat your dinner, not hypnotise it." She tried to
tease but Michiru only lowered her look and sighed deeply.
"Gomen, Haruka. It's simply... I miss them. I know, I am old enough, I am
seventeen, but somehow it's not enough to see them once a month or even only
once within six months." Michiru sighed deeply and some tears sparkled in her
blue eyes.
>Why... why did you beat me, Hika-chan?<
>Because you are selfish!<
>I am not selfish!<
>You are! The whole time you lament your parent's death and wish yourself to be
dead!<
>But...<
>You should be thankful about what you have and not what you lost!<
>What do I have, Hika-chan? What is left for me? Tell me!<
>Your life!<
>You call this life?<
>You live, Haru-chan. You have a future before you. And never, never ever
remember that there are people outside who feel the same inside. Who have even
less than you have!<
Haruka could remember too well that Hikari had cried that even when they argued
with each other. How she had cried like a little child. And how she hadn't been
ashamed about it, because she had done worse things she was ashamed of. She
regretted deeply. But she couldn't change.
>You have the chance to escape! One day!<
>But...<
>It's a chance I'll never have, Haru-chan! I am doomed to die soon! My parents
didn't love me when I was a child. And I was never successful in stealing
things! Take the chance that's still left for you, Haru-chan and stop to destroy
yourself!<
>Hika-chan...<
>You are not the only one who suffers, Haru-chan. Never forget that. You are not
the only one...<
Haruka gulped as she remembered the conversation that was now about two years
old. Hikari had been right. Of course she had been right. As always. Hikari had
been so intelligent. Okay, she had been some years older than Haruka and had
more experience, but she had been damn intelligent. And she threw it all away.
In the endless greed of the white powder. She threw it all away: Her future, her
life, her hope. Haruka could give her back a little bit hope during the time
they were together on the streets, but she couldn't save her life. No matter how
hard she tried it.
>You are not the only one...<
Haruka looked over to Michiru who tried to hold back her tears. Michiru  had
everything: She was talented, intelligent and rich. She could achieve everything
she wanted. Her parents loved her. They were still alive. She had a crazy friend
and a sister who cared a lot for her. Whatever she wanted to do, she could do
it. If she wanted to win in horse-racing, she could buy herself an excellent
horse the next day. If she wanted to go ice skating in the middle of the summer,
she could fly to the Himalajya if she wanted that. If she wanted to go shopping
in San Francisco, it wasn't that far away from Japan for her, wasn't it? For her
the world was wide opened. She had the best chances to be a star, to be happy.
But the same time Haruka knew that those things were materially. And to miss her
parents, that was normal. It was alike if you were a small child or an adult. It
was alike if you had hardly enough money to pay the rent of if you could go
swimming in it. If you missed a person you loved, you simply missed it.
>You are not the only one...<
Michiru couldn't be more different from Haruka. Michiru lived in a world full of
possibilities and solutions - even for the hardest problems. For her was no
mountain too high, no ocean too deep. Haruka instead had seen hell, had walked
through the darkest of valleys. But they both had some things in common: They
both were strong outside, but fragile inside. They both felt alone from time to
time. And they both loved and missed their parents.
>You are not the only one...<
"Michiru?" Haruka touched softly Michiru's right hand. The spoon fell jingling
on the plate's rim and two big eyes stared at the tall blonde. They were as deep
as the sea and filled with tears. Slowly two tears escaped that ocean and ran
down redden cheeks. Redden of shame and anger.
"Hey..." tried Haruka to comfort the other girl but before she could say a word
more, Michiru had pushed away her hand and rose.
"I... I..." she stammered and blushed even more, but couldn't hold back her
tears.
Now she thinks that I am really what everything thinks: A spoiled, rich brat who
cries when her parents go on tour to earn even more money to finance her another
big car!
"...bathroom..." was all she sobbed before she turned around and ran blind
through the whole restaurant. One waiter had to evade her and almost crashed
into Haruka who didn't wait for long but followed Michiru. She didn't know much
about the rich girl, but she knew that Michiru was in pain. And she didn't want
that the young violinist was in pain. She didn't want that... how did Michiru
call her this evening? That her BEST friend was in pain. Michiru had looked so
happy this evening. She wanted to see her laugh again. Like this evening on the
stage when she had been in her element: In the music. Together with her beloved
mother.
>You are not the only one...<
It was strangely quiet in the bathroom. One old woman looked strictly at Haruka
and wanted her to get out of the girl's bathroom until Haruka shouted
impatiently that she was a girl. Before a waiter could come and really force her
to use the other door, she had pushed the protesting old woman aside and entered
the bathroom. It was covered with sparkling marble. There were many mirrors
around and Haruka had to admit that the old woman wasn't that wrong. At least
she didn't need new glasses. Haruka really looked like a boy in the dark suit.
With her short hairs. And with her thin appearance. But right now she had other
problems than her appearance. She knew how she looked and she knew that she
couldn't and that she didn't want to change it. She had always looked like boy
and felt more comfortable with it. Her parents liked her that way and had
accepted it after she tried to give her her old skirt.
>You are not the only one...<
There were many cabins but they all were empty. The doors banged on the walls as
Haruka opened one after another. Still not sure what she was doing. What she
should do once she found Michiru. But she knew that she couldn't stay at the
table, eating her dinner and waiting for Michiru to come back. In maybe ten
minutes, in maybe fifty minutes, in maybe two hours. 
"Michiru?" she asked and sighed frustrated as the last cabin was empty, too.
Maybe she ran out of the restaurant?
Maybe she hides somewhere else? Or in another bathroom? This restaurant is so
big, surely it has another bathroom!
"Michiru?"
At that moment she heard the silent sobs. She turned around and saw the girl
sitting under a washbasin. She had brought her knees to her chest and wrapped
her arms around her legs. The evening dress was crumbled and her hairs messed.
Her face was wet of tears and her eyes sparkled desperately.
"Hey..." Haruka gulped as she went over to the basins. She knelt down and looked
directly into a blushed face. "Don't you think that this place is a little bit
uncomfortable?"
Michiru didn't respond anything. She only sobbed harder and tried to disappear
what didn't work of course. 
"Come out, Michiru. It's okay to cry, but come out."
The rich girl only shook her head and sobbed even harder.
"I don't wanna be weak..." sobbed Michiru and more and more tears streamed over
her face. "I don't wanna be spoiled... I... but.. I miss them..."
>You are not the only one...<
Haruka didn't know what she was doing, as she leaned forward and wrapped her
arms around the other one's shaking body. As she pulled Michiru out from under
the wash basin. The smaller girl trembled a lot and automatically searched for
hold. 
"I am not weak..." she sobbed and buried her face in Haruka's shoulder, wrapped
her arms around the slim body and cried even harder. "...not weak..."
>... not the only one...<
"No, you are not weak, Michi." Whispered Haruka and stroke through sea green
curls. They really felt the way they looked. Incredibly soft. "You simply miss
your parents. That's normal."
Michiru didn't respond anything. She only laid there. In Haruka's arms. And
cried the way she didn't cry over the last months. Since her parents had left
for a tour around the world. Since she knew that she was a Sailor senshi and had
to search for the talismans and fight against youmas. Not since she didn't find
Sailor Uranus who seemed to be more than just a fellow senshi for her - at least
not after what the stars told her. 
The whole time Haruka held her tight and rocked her as if she was a small child,
knowing that Michiru wasn't a child any longer. That none of them was a child
any longer.
>... not the only one...<
>I know Hika-chan. But I wish I was it.<
The whole time Haruka whispered comforting words and caressed through sea green
curls, over a shaking back. Trying to give Michiru the comfort she never really
got herself. Trying hard to ignore that her heart hurt the same.
>... not the only one...<
>Because then I would be the only one who mourns. Then all the other people
would be happy.<

***

It was dark inside the house as they entered it. The clock rang three in the
corridor and a really sleepy dog welcomed them.
"Hello Orpheus." Whispered Michiru and petted the dog behind the ears. The St.
Bernhard dog sniffed as them and then laid back into the living room, because
now everyone was home. 
"The best is you'll take a shower and go to bed. Setsuna's never awake before
noon." Said Haruka quietly as they went upstairs. She held the expensive violin
in her hands. A proof that Michiru was more asleep than awake. They spent a long
time in the bathroom, not caring about some women who came in and watched them
for a moment curious before they decided to use the other bathroom on the other
side of the restaurant. Michiru needed a long time to calm down and then didn't
want to leave the bathroom because she didn't want to look so weak as she called
it. Haruka helped her to refresh again and could even convince her to eat at
least a little bit from her dinner. Because Michiru didn't want to drive, they
called themselves a taxi and decided to take the Ferrari the next day. 
"About what happened..." said Michiru very slowly and Haruka could see in the
dimmed light how the smaller girl clenched nervously her fists.
"It's okay." Answered the tall blonde and laid her free hand on Michiru's right
shoulder. "We all cry from time to time. Don't worry about it."
Michiru wanted to respond something as they entered Haruka's room. Of course
Michiru wanted to say good night to little Hotaru and to say something more to
the tall blonde, not only about the evening and what did happen. But she didn't
say a word as she saw the cute picture.
Hotaru laid in her cradle, sleeping deep and tight. She held her dolphin in her
tiny arms and smiled happily. She wasn't alone. There were two shadows lying
next to the cradle on the soft carpet. Elza only wore a black T-shirt and her
hairs were messed. Her legs were covered with a blanket. She had wrapped her
arms around Setsuna's right one who laid next to her. She wore a dark bathrobe.
They both were fast asleep, too.
"Didn't know that baby sitting is so exhausting." Whispered Haruka and in her
voice was a slight giggle that made Michiru smile again.

***

"Michiru?"
The girl who still held two warm rolls in her hands for breakfast turned around
as she heard her name. Haruka stood there. Hotaru wasn't with her. Surely she
was still in her cradle. It was very early in the morning, but Michiru couldn't
sleep any longer.
"What's up, Haruka?" she asked and put the rolls on the plates. Now she only had
to take care for the coffee and the hot milk for the tall blonde.
"Do you have some sanitary towels for me? Since Himme-chan's birth it's so
irregular that I simply forgot it." Said Haruka and blushed slightly. It seemed
to be a little bit embarrassing for her. 
For a moment Michiru was silent. She turned her head and looked over to the tall
girl who had crossed her arms before her chest.
"No problem." She whispered finally and left the kitchen. "I am sure Sissy can
help you."
"Wait! You don't have to wake Setsuna up!" But before Haruka could follow her,
Michiru already disappeared behind the door that was always illuminated the
whole night.
Why didn't she tell me that hers are out, too? I could have bought some in the
mall near school.
Haruka frowned and cursed herself as the pain increased inside her belly.

***

"How are you feeling?" Michiru held her school books tighter in her hands while
she walked next to Haruka. Mostly she had problems to hold speed with the tall
blonde, but today the girl seemed to be a little bit slower than normal.
"Fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Hai, I am feeling completely fine." Haruka lowered her head as she felt that
she blushed again. She simply hated everything that remembered her that she was
really a girl. Especially after all the damn stuff she had seen during the past
three years. Hai, she loved it to be Hotaru's mommy, but that was a complete
different thing. Hotaru loved her, no matter who she was. Haruka didn't like
herself a lot. Not as a girl.
"Really? No cramps? Aren't you feeling dizzy? Shall I take you home?"
"Michiru? Has it anything to do with the math test we're writing today?"
suspected Haruka and grinned as Michiru sulked innocently.
"No, of course not. How did you get this crazy idea?" She stopped shortly before
the classroom door and raised her hand towards Haruka's forehead. "Are you sure
that you don't have any fever? You can't go to school with fever, you know that,
right?" 
Haruka took the cold hand and held it tight for some moments.
"Don't worry, you've learned a lot during the past days. I am sure that you
won't fail."
"I am not that sure. I mean, one and one are four, right?" Michiru smiled
sheepish and the tall blonde had to giggle.
"Just trust in yourself, Michiru."
"If that would be so easy..." The rich girl lowered her head and Haruka frowned.
Too well she remembered how she held a sobbing Michiru in her arms. How the
smaller girl had cried and searched so badly for comfort that she really took
hers.
"Hey..."
What's up? She looks always so self confident. She is talented, intelligent and
loved. Doesn't she know? Everyone in her near likes her a lot.
Everyone?
Haruka sighed slightly and squeezed the hand gently.
Hai, everyone!
"Hey, don't make such a face. What would Elza say? It's only math." Haruka
raised her head as some pupils went by. Ignoring their curious glances she
looked searching around. "By the way, where's our red devil tomorrow?"
"She has training with her athletic team. From now on she'll have a lot of
training, because the competitions will be soon and she wants to win, of
course." Answered Michiru and they both went into the class room as the school
bell rang. "Do you want to sit next to me while she runs around in the
gymnasium?"
"Hai." Haruka nodded and rolled her eyes as Tamara first made a stunned face and
finally some nasty comments. 
"So she infected you, too? Are you a bloody lesbian, too? Now?" shouted the
black haired girl and some other girls agreed loudly. Some other however stayed
silent. They knew that it was senseless to argue with Tamara. You couldn't win
against someone you couldn't convince that you were right.
Michiru didn't respond anything. She pushed her books a little bit too
energetically on the table and sat down. Immediately she opened her exercise
book and wrote down some words. As if she corrected her homework again. But
Haruka sensed that she was very angry and hurt. But that she couldn't defence
herself. Maybe she tried it in the past, but you could only fail if you argued
with someone like Tamara.
"I think the government should kill people like her! They aren't worth living!
To love another girl, that's not normal. It's an illness that needs to be
cured!"
>Who are you? You look like a boy but you are a girl?<
>Let me go!<
>That's disgusting! Do you know that? You are disgusting!<
>I told you...<
>Shut up and do what I tell you or I will kill you!<
>Please...<
>Nevertheless I'll kill you. Someone like you is not worth living!<
>No...<
>You damn little whore!<
Haruka clenched her fists as she heard his voice again in her mind. As she heard
it so often. In her nightmares. In long nights she woke up. Screaming. Screaming
in silence for help. Hikari came in time to help her. A total stranger. She
could save her life that night, but not change her memories. During the coming
months the nightmares got rarer and rarer. Although sometimes they were simply
there again. When she saw a knife that was a little bit like the knife he held
that night. When she saw someone who looked a little bit like him. When someone
told her that someone else was not worth living. Just like Tamara had done right
now.
"Say a word, Tenô! Or are you dumb now? Did she infect you, too? With that
dangerous illness?"
>Don't touch me, Haru-chan!<
>But Hika-chan, I only want to hold you. I am cold...<
Of course it had been a cold night then. Of course they both had frozen like
hell. Of course Hikari had known that she wasn't only begging for a little bit
warmth, but also for love. For someone she could trust again. For someone who
would stay by her side and heal her wounds. But Hikari had known from the
beginning that she hadn't been that person.
>I told you that you mustn't touch me!<
>But...<
>You know that I am ill!<
>That's alike to me!<
>But not to me! I don't want you to be infected, too!<
>Hey, I only wanted to hold you and...<
>Hai, and...<
They had spent the whole night in bitter cold. Being angry at each other and sad
the same time. Hikari didn't want her to get ill, too. It had been her own law
to push everyone away in her life. Until her death. Haruka had loved Hikari and
to see her in pain just because of that bloody illness that didn't bother her at
all that time made her heart break. Her soul still hurt. Haruka wasn't sure if
she would ever get over that pain. The only time she had been allowed to hold
Hikari tight the way she always had wanted it, had been shortly before Hikari's
death. Because the girl didn't have had any power any longer to push her away.
"She did infect..."
Haruka let out her breath and before Michiru could react, she stood next to
Tamara. Shaking the smaller girl's shoulders. Her dark green eyes sparkled and
she looked really threatening.
"Don't talk about things you don't understand!" whispered the tall blonde and
shook Tamara again. "Never talk about infections and illnesses in that ignorant
way again! You don't know what those words mean in reality!"
>Gomen nasai, Haru-chan.<
>Hush, Hika-chan. It's okay. Everything is okay. I'll take you to a hospital and
you'll feel better. I promise you, I'll take care of you!<
>You can't help me. It's over, I know it.<
>Hush, don't say such things. I know that I can help you. Just stay awake, okay?
You'll be in hospital very quickly. Don't worry, I'll never let you down.<
>Gomen nasai...<
>Hika-chan! Stay awake!<
"Never say such stupid words again or I'll really use the milk bottle!" Haruka
didn't feel that Tamara tried to beat her. Her reflects were too good, even
after Hotaru's birth. She had to fight a lot during the past years and she had a
good teacher who told her every trick she needed to survive. Without any
problems she evaded Tamara's fists and shook her even harder.
"Never ever dare to say such words to Michiru! They are mean and hurt!" Haruka
let go of the girl as the teacher entered the room. Tamara sat down on her chair
and looked surprised and really, really angry. She clenched her fists but
thought better as the teacher watched them for some moments in patience.
"This is my last warning!"
Haruka went over to her table to sit down. As the teacher told them she opened
her exercise book and her pencil to start the math test. Her thoughts still spun
around in her mind and she felt sick. Not only because of the pain in her belly.
But also because of the memories that crashed down on her like a waterfall. A
waterfall of tears. No, she wouldn't cry. That never made any sense nor did it
help. But she knew that she would have incredible headaches for the rest of the
day which wouldn't help her any better to survive the rest of the eight school
lessons.
Michiru couldn't concentrate on the test, too. The whole time she had to stare
at Haruka and asked herself why she reacted so suddenly. And why she reacted
this way.


***

"If you ignore Tamara, that would be fine, too. No one would call you a coward
or so. Everyone knows that Tamara is spoiled and has a problem." Said Michiru
and opened her umbrella. It rained and they had to cross the whole school yard
to reach the silver Ferrari. Elza was still at the race track and told them not
to wait for her, because the club wanted to go to McDonald's after the extra
training.
"A big problem!" said Haruka and sighed deeply. "It's just not fair. She says
hurting things and no one reacts. Someone has to tell her to stop otherwise she
will never learn how to behave."
"And you think that you are the right person?" Michiru held the umbrella over
herself and Haruka next to her and looked around. But there was no one who could
have seen them. "Don't understand me wrong, Haruka, it's really brave what you
did, but it's senseless. Elza tried it during the past three years but she
failed. And if someone like Elza fails in telling Tamara to shut up, then you
won't achieve it, too."
Haruka didn't respond and so they walked for a while in silence. All that could
be heard was the cold rain, falling down to earth. The raindrops splashed in the
poodles and the wind ripped out some leaves. Heavy with rain they fell down to
earth, too and formed a dirty mass together with the poodles. It was really an
ugly day. As they said on TV, the weather wouldn't change during the coming
week.
Just ask her. What should she do? 
Haruka glanced at her boots while she walked. They were dirty now, but warm
inside. They were new, too. Elza went shopping again with her. While Setsuna had
to work and did the baby sitting and Michiru had some rehearsals with her
violin. They both went shopping for shoes. Haruka got some soft slippers and
those wonderful boots which would lead her with warm feet over the winter. While
Elza bought herself some screaming red boots. They almost touched her knees when
she wore them. Of course Setsuna scolded her that they were senseless. That Elza
couldn't wear them when it was snowy outside, because she would slip and fall
down. But while she said it with a loud voice, sighing desperate because Elza
showed her cheeky her tongue, she looked longing at the boots. As if she wanted
to have some crazy, total senseless but the same time beautiful boots herself,
too.
Just ask her.
And if she hates me afterwards?
Why should she hate you? She said that you are her best friend. Best friends
don't hate each other!
Haruka kicked away a little stone and it drowned in the next poodle.
Why do I want to know it? It's alike. Nothing will change. 
Really?
Really?
Hai, really! I should never forget who I am and who she is! I am only the
beggar, but she is the rich princess. This isn't a fair tale!
Really?
Really?
Hai, really! Life has never been a fairy tale! That's why they invented such
books. To dream a dream that will never come true!
But the same time Haruka knew too well that she already started to dream. How
her life would be if she wasn't the beggar, but the prince. If there would be
real friendship between the rich girl and her. Friendship and trust, not only a
crazy contact that made her be a senshi, whatever that was, and that made sure
that Hotaru would be operated and survive her childhood. Haruka wanted so badly
to have a friend. To have not only a friend, but Michiru as her friend. There
were so many things she wanted to talk about. So many things she was afraid to
talk about the same time, because she didn't know how Michiru would react. If
she would hate her afterwards. If she would see her with different eyes
afterwards. If she would beat her and throw her out of her house afterwards. Or
if she would understand her...
Stop dreaming!
But she couldn't. Not after she had seen Michiru being so kindly to Himme-chan.
Not after she had seen how much the rich girl loved the little baby. Not after
she had seen how much the young violinist cared for the little girl, how she
talked to the friendly doctor and bought all those nice things for her. How she
held her tight and rocked her until little Hotaru feel asleep.
Stop dreaming!
But she couldn't. Not after she had felt the trembling body in her arms. Not
after she had heard the desperate sobs. Not after she had sensed the pain in the
other one's soul. Not after she had felt the need for comfort. For comfort and
understanding. For a lonely soul that wanted so badly to be loved. Just like her
own soul...
Stop dreaming!
But she couldn't. Not after she had felt two soft arms being wrapped around her
waist. Not after she had felt the warm body being pressed against her own one.
Not after she had felt those warm fingers caressing her belly and the scar that
crossed it. The scar that showed that she was a mother. That she gave birth to a
lovely little girl. At the age of just eighteen. The scar that showed that she
had done some mistakes in her life. That showed that she let down her pride -
even if it had been only for once. That showed that she wasn't innocent any
longer. Not as innocent as her daughter still was. As her daughter would
hopefully be her whole life. Haruka would do anything to protect her against the
evil of the world. Against the hell she walked through. Michiru obviously didn't
see any of those things. She had only seen a scar and sensed the pain that
surely stood behind it. She had simply caressed it and asked with her soft voice
if it was still hurting, if it had been a hard birth, if Haruka was feeling
fine. She had promised her to fight for Himme-chan, to save the little girl, no
matter what it would cost. With her warm hands she had taken away a little bit
of the pain that still raged in Haruka's soul.
Stop dreaming!
But she knew she couldn't. Not any longer. She was already too deep in a
wonderful dream that would be over too soon. She knew it, but she wanted to
ignore it. It was the dream of belonging to someone. To a nice family. It was
the dream of being accepted the way she was: A tomboy with the appearance of a
boy but the heart of a girl. It was the dream of forgiveness and understanding
for the past years. As it was the dream of being loved. Without any
consequences. Being simply loved for what she was. Deep inside of her.
She would do anything for that dream. Even if it would last only for a minute.
To see her daughter growing up and to feel how someone would embrace her and
hold her warming, she would have crucified herself.
"Michiru?"
"Hai?"
They had almost reached the silver Ferrari. Michiru had some more rehearsals at
the opera but she would drive home first. To take her violin and to eat a little
lunch. She hoped that Setsuna already prepared something, because she wasn't in
the mood to search the fridge for something to eat.
Now or never! She won't kill you!
Sure?
"Is it true? I mean, what Tamara says?" Haruka turned her head and looked
directly into deep blue eyes that grew wide.
"You mean..." But before Michiru could finish her sentence, a bright light
appeared and threw away the umbrella. Michiru's cheeks turned from slightly
redden towards pale as she turned around. Haruka did the same and shook
unbelieving her head. There was someone, or better, something between the bushes
near the parking space. It looked a little bit like a tree. But not like the
normal trees in the park and the forest. It looked more like a mad tree that
learned to walk the past hour and wanted to take revenge for all its dead
colleagues now. First it wanted to start with them.
"What the hell is that?" whispered Haruka astonished and stumbled as Michiru
grabbed her hand and pulled her away with her.
"That's a youma!" shouted Michiru and pushed a golden stick in Haruka's hands.
It was the same stick she had showed her when they got to know each other over a
month ago. "Just say "Sailor Uranus, make up" and everything will be clear." The
rich girl raised her own stick, but Haruka held her back.
"What's all this?" she demanded to know, but another lightening separated them.

"This is a youma. Our natural enemy. It searches for our talismans, too. But we
have to defeat it and find the talismans for ourselves."
"This sounds crazy!" shouted Haruka and evaded another lightening, staring at
the stick in her hand in disbelieve. "This sounds total mad!"
"I told you that it's crazy, but it's reality! You are Sailor Uranus! Transform
yourself and help me! You are the only one who can do that!" Michiru raised the
stick in her hands and suddenly the wind was rougher. Haruka believed to see a
big wave of crystal clear water surrounding the rich girl. But it was over
before she could react.
Now Michiru's school uniform was gone. Instead she wore a strange one. The skirt
was as short as Michiru would have never worn it voluntarily. She preferred
skirts that reached her ankles when she walked. Something golden sparkled in her
sea green hairs, but she turned towards the monster before Haruka could identify
it.
"Deep submerge!" screamed the rich girl and something came out of the golden
stick. It looked like a ball. Or a planet. It was sea green and grew as it flew
incredibly fast towards the monster.
Nani?
What's that for a nonsense?
Does I have to fight against such beings?
Who is that Sailor Uranus?
Haruka stared doubtful at the stick in her hands and gulped.
"Transform! Haruka! Don't be so lazy! Transform and help me!" screamed Michiru
and Haruka raised her head. She saw how the rich girl jumped over the school
yard and wondered why no one else saw the fight. Why no teacher came out of the
school and called the police. Didn't they see them? Or did they ignore them?
"Say the formula and transform! Haruka!" The lightening got more and more and
the youma laughed madly. The big branches touched Michiru and she cried out in
pain. Her left glove was suddenly red.
"Haruka! Help!"
>Haru-chan...<
The tall blonde didn't think much as she reacted. She let the stick fall and
bowed. Quickly she picked up some stones and threw them at the monster. It
forgot Michiru at the instant and turned around to come slowly over to Haruka.
Hundreds of roots groaned as they lurched over the school yard. 
>Haru-chan... help...<
Haruka didn't see the monster. Nor did she see the thick branches, reaching for
her. Again she saw Hikari. Her best friend who laid on the ground. Bleeding.
Because she hadn't been around when she went with another guy and his big car.
She could escape him, but she had been hurt. Deeply hurt.
"You asshole!" screamed Haruka and threw some other stones at the howling tree.
Now it was attacked by a raging blonde and by water planets that were weaker now
but still strong enough to harm it.
"You damn asshole!"
>Shimatta! Where did he hurt you?<
>I have... no idea...<
>Shall I call an ambulance?<
>Joker! Who... who pays the... the doctor?<
>Hika-chan...<
>Don't touch me!<
>But you bleed!<
>Don't...<
>Come, I'll take care for you.<
>Haru-chan...<
"You damn asshole!" Haruka threw some more stones, but soon she stood on the
asphalt of the parking space. Next to some cars. There was no chance of escape.
Not this way. And not for the monster.
"You hurt her!" As Haruka's fingers couldn't find another weapon, she reached
inside her school bag and threw it away. A small dagger sparkled in her hands.
It was plain and used. But the blade was sharp. It once had been a gift from
Hikari and she never gave it away. Somehow she could smuggle into the hospital.
Normally she had it with her. No matter where she went to. It was simply habit.
Never again she wanted to be helpless.
"You will never hurt her!" She raised the dragger and jumped at the youma before
it could react. She knifed it with three stabs. Right into the trunk. "Never!
Never!" 
The next moment she was wet and before she knew what happened, she sat on a
broken tree. A lifeless tree. Or at least as immobile as most trees were in the
forests.
>I'll always take care of you, Hika-chan.<
>Nice promise... but... but you won't hold it...<
"Never..." breathed the tall blonde and the dagger escaped her hands. 
"Haruka?"
>...you won't hold it...<
"Haruka?"
She needed some moments to realize that someone was calling her name. Slowly,
very slowly she turned her head and stared through wet strands at Michiru. She
still wore the uniform with the short skirt and held the stick tight in her
hands. The glove was still blood covered, but the wound didn't seem to be deep.
It stopped bleeding. Blue eyes were wide and Michiru watched her with question
marks in her eyes.
"It was..." Haruka could see how Michiru gulped. "That was a special kind to
fight, Haruka." Michiru lowered her head and the tall blonde saw the dagger
lying half covered by mug in a poodle as she followed Michiru's look. "A very
special kind, Haruka." Michiru gulped again and stared first at her own henshin,
then at the dagger and finally at the tall blonde again who still crouched on
one of the tree's branches.
"But the next time, try to transform. That will make things a lot more easier."
Haruka nodded slowly. Still not knowing how she should transform. And the longer
she thought about the youma and the talismans, the less she wanted to know what
it meant to transform into a senshi called Sailor Uranus.

***

"Take a shower that you won't get ill." Michiru ran into her room, jumped out of
her school uniform and grabbed a pullover and warm pants. Three seconds in the
bathroom were enough and she already ran through her room. To grab her violin
case and her notes. It was damn late and her conductor would be angry with her.
"Your hand is hurt." Protested Haruka who followed her. Setsuna was downstairs.
She worked with her laptop in the kitchen while Hotaru slept in her cradle and
Orpheus watched the dinner cooking in the oven. 
"No problem!" Michiru wanted to rush through the door as Haruka held her back.
"I think you should cancel this rehearsal. It's not good for your hand to play
when you can hardly move it!"
"I can move it!" Michiru moved her hand in front of Haruka's face but the tall
blonde could see the pain in deep eyes.
"It is only a rehearsal, Michiru. A rehearsal, not a concert!" 
"I never cancelled a rehearsal!" snapped Michiru, suddenly very angry and went
over to the stairs. "And I wouldn't be hurt if you would have transformed and
not attacked the youma with a dagger!" The rich girl ran upstairs and shortly
changed her slippers with her boots. "Don't wait with the dinner, I'll be
late."
"Michiru!" Haruka followed her and touched her right shoulder. "You shouldn't do
that."
"Shut up!" Michiru held her violin case tighter and winced as the pain increased
in her hand. Of course she wouldn't be able to play properly but she would have
never given in. She never cancelled a rehearsal before and she wouldn't do it
just because a youma attacked her. Just because she got a little bit hurt. Just
because Sailor Uranus, her partner by the stars, didn't transform. "You aren't
here to give me bloody advice!"
The moment Haruka let her go and stepped a little bit back told Michiru that she
shouldn't have said that sentence. Only because their strange contract was four
weeks old didn't mean that the tall blonde forgot it. She knew too well what she
promised Michiru for the health of her daughter. To fight against youmas, to
find the talismans and to do what Michiru told her. That was surely not to treat
her like a small child that didn't know when it was exhausted.
Damn, she felt exhausted.
But she couldn't give up. She never gave up. She never cancelled a rehearsal or
a concert in her whole life. Not when she had to play with the Tokyo Orchestra.
The big clock rang and Michiru winced again.
"Shimatta! One hour too late. Tsumasa-san will kill me!" she screamed out loud,
grabbed the car keys and the next moment the door closed with a loud bang. There
were some more curses heard before the engine started and the silver Ferrari
went away as if it was on a flight.
I am not here to give her advice.
Suddenly Haruka froze. She wrapped her arms around her body and stared at the
closed door. Again she saw the youma, saw Michiru standing there with the golden
stick in her hands. Again she saw the whole fight, still not understanding its
meaning.
"Haruka?"
She turned slowly around as she heard Setsuna's voice. The tall woman leaned
against the kitchen's door and looked really tired. As if she didn't sleep the
last nights.
"You look soaked, Haruka."
"We had a fight." Said tall blonde, turning again towards the closed door.
Knowing too well that it wouldn't open again. Elza had training and Michiru her
damn rehearsal.
"With a youma?"
"Hai."
"Bloody creatures, right?"
"Hai."
"They always fight unfair, right?"
"Hai."
Setsuna frowned as Haruka's answers were so monosyllabic. Slowly she came over
to the girl.
"Michi used her powers and splashed you as she defeated the youma, right?"
"Hai."
"And you didn't transform into Sailor Uranus, right?"
For a moment there was silence between them. Silence that told Setsuna that she
was right. Suddenly she knew why her smaller sister had been so angry. Not only
because she had been too late for her rehearsal. Since she knew that she was
Sailor Neptune and had to fight against youmas she was often too late. Okay, she
never cancelled a rehearsal, but often she came twenty minutes before it ended.
No, Michiru had been angry that Haruka couldn't transform. Maybe she was angry
about Haruka, too. But Setsuna knew that she was the angriest about herself.
That she thought she found the third senshi, that she let Haruka live here and
took care for her. That she opened herself a little bit and let the tall blonde
be her friend. And that it all seemed to be in vain, because Haruka seemed to be
proud and brave and surely the best mother Hotaru could have, but she wasn't
Sailor Uranus. Surely she was a fighter. But she didn't seem to be a senshi.
Or is it really because her body's too weak after Himme-chan's birth? Does she
need some more weeks, some more months? Do we simply have to be patient? Do we
have the time to be patient?
Setsuna sighted deeply and squeezed Haruka's right arm.
"Don't worry, Haruka. Michi is often that way. She takes everything too serious:
School, her violin play, her swimming and her drawing. And being a senshi. If
anything goes wrong she gets angry and shouts at everything and everyone."
Setsuna sighed again. "It's not your fault, Haruka. She simply needs to calm
down. I try to tell her that this behaviour is not healthy, that she'll have an
heart attack sooner or later, but she never listens to me." The young woman
shrugged her shoulders. "I am only her older sister, I am not allowed to give
her any advice either."
Haruka kept silent, still staring at the closed door.
"Take a hot shower and come down. I made chicken." Setsuna went back to the door
but still Haruka didn't move.
This will cause more trouble than I thought.
"Hurry up. Himme-chan already waits for you."
Finally Haruka nodded and went upstairs as she heard her name.
I am not here to give advice...

***

It was past midnight. The rehearsal stopped one hour ago, but still Michiru sat
in one of the changing rooms the musicians used to take care of their
instruments. She didn't move during the past sixty minutes. All she did was
staring at the cell phone in her hands. Hearing again and again the words Dr.
Sugara had told her. They did controlled the tests very quickly and now she got
the result. Earlier than she had expected. Worse than she had expected. Much
worse.
Damn...
Michiru didn't feel how some tears ran down her redden cheeks. As she didn't
realize that the light went out on the corridor. The door from her changing room
was still opened but she didn't care about it. Now she was the last one in the
opera. Sure she had a key. She could leave the old building whenever she wanted.
Although she wasn't sure if she would leave it at all. Her legs were like
pudding and she trembled so much that she could hardly control her body any
longer. All she could do was to sit. To sit and to listen again to his words.
And to sob a little bit louder.
Shimatta...
She couldn't leave the opera. That would have meant to go home. To face Haruka.
To tell her the results. To tell her how tiny the chances were. How complicate
it all became. Because the other doctors waited too long. It would have been so
much easier if Hotaru would have been examined by a specialist from the
beginning on. But Haruka didn't have the money to go to a specialist. Instead
she tried to save her money for an operation that wouldn't have helped her
daughter by the time she would have had the money.
Shimatta...
Michiru sobbed quietly. No, she couldn't go back now. That would have meant to
face Haruka. To see her so sad. It was alike to Michiru if Haruka wouldn't want
to be Sailor Uranus any longer. If she had ever been a senshi. But Michiru
wanted to help Hotaru. No matter how tiny the chance was. 
It is still a chance!
Hai, but they can't repair her heart any longer!
It is still a chance!
Hai, but it's a complete different operation! It's a lot more difficult and
dangerous. Even if Dr. Sugara-san will arrange everything in time, he still
doesn't know if Himme-chan is strong enough to survive the dangerous
intervention!
It is still a chance!
Hai, but such a tiny one...
The cell phone fell hard on the ground as Michiru wasn't able any longer to hold
it. She couldn't go home. That would have meant to face Haruka's desperate face.
And Hotaru's laughing one. A little girl who loved her and who was happy when
she was around. A little girl who didn't know how dangerous her illness really
was.
Shimatta...
Michiru covered her eyes with her hands and cried silently.
A tiny chance is still a chance, isn't it?
Isn't it?
Isn't it?
Hai...
After a long time Michiru bowed and picked up the cell phone. To dial Dr.
Sugara's number. And to talk to him for almost the rest of the night.
Tiny but we have to use it!

***

It got colder. And darker. Earlier in the evening. Still the trees were full
with coloured leaves, but she could feel, almost smell the snow. Especially here
near the sea. The water looked colder, too. And somehow stronger. Maybe that was
caused by the rain. It had rained the passed day and these minutes were just a
short break. But it was only a matter of time until it would change into snow.
Maybe we'll have a white Christmas this year.
Slowly she walked through the wet snow. It crackled under her boots but she
hardly heard it. All she listened to was the silent laughter of a small girl.
Tiny hands were stretched towards the sea birds flying over them. Screaming loud
when they crashed into the sea to get their evening meal.
It would be a happier Christmas than the past year.
Too well she remembered how she had spent the past Christmas. In small flat,
between two visits in the hospital. She had felt as alone as she had never felt
before. Not even when her parents died. Not even when she spent endless long
nights in the orphanage. Not even when she ran away and tried to survive on the
street in the darkest parts of Tokyo. Not even when Hikari coughed herself to
death.
It had been the worst Christmas in her life. All people around in the mall where
she got a little job in a fast food restaurant for those days to give strange
people little presents, were so happy. They carried huge bags and bought nice
and partly senseless things. For their families. Proud fathers and beautiful
mothers walked by with happy grinning children by their side. Children who knew
what they would get or at least who hoped that their parents bought the right
things.
Haruka sighed deeply and held her daughter a little bit tighter as Hotaru tried
to reach one of those birds and was depressed that she couldn't.
Never alone in her life she had felt so superfluous. There was no one in the
tiny flat who would wait for her. No one who needed her. No one who loved her.
Hotaru clenched her tiny fists and whimpered because all those birds flew away
and not towards her as she had hoped.
Haruka had sat the whole night on her small bed and stared at her blank whole.
Trying to ignore a night everyone outside her flat was celebrating. In another
world as it had occurred to her. And then there had been that angel who had
saved her life some months ago. A little angel who gave her the strength to
survive the hell that followed. To look in their faces. To feel their sympathy
and their disgust. To know that there was no place in their shinning world. Not
really. But this angel showed her that there was still someone who needed, who
probably would love her without consequences. That there was still a reason to
carry on. 
"Hey, Himme-chan, you can't fly yet. You are too small" Whispered Haruka and
giggled as Hotaru stretched again her tiny fists towards the flying sea birds
above them.
That dark Christmas night had been the first time that Haruka had felt Hotaru.
Her little angel had kicked inside her belly, but it had felt more like the wing
of a butterfly. It had only lasted for the split of a second, but it brightened
up the dark's Christmas night. Haruka had spent the rest of it talking to her
unborn child. And suddenly she hadn't felt all alone any longer. Suddenly she
had understand what pregnancy really meant. What was behind that her belly grew
bigger with every week that past. Suddenly she knew that she got a second
chance. To have a family again. To be there for someone again. To care for
someone again. And she had known that she would use that chance. That she
wouldn't do any mistakes this time.
Hotaru spread her arms and leaned forward. Now there was again a happy smile on
her redden face. She looked longing up to the birds.
"My little bird, you'll fly when you are older." Whispered Haruka and looked up
to the sky, too. Swearing that she would use this chance. That she wouldn't do
any mistakes. That Hotaru would grow up. That she would ran along the Tokyo's
beach one day trying to catch those birds while jumping towards the sky. Just
the way Haruka had done it when she had been a child.
Don't worry, you'll be a strong girl, Himme-chan. You'll be lively and make my
nights to day. You won't let time stay for just a single second.
Haruka gulped and held her daughter a little bit tighter. It was now one week
that they had been with the doctor, but still there was no result. Haruka had
hoped they would get informed a little bit earlier, but  Michiru always denied
when she asked her and carried on to the next rehearsal.
If it had been bad, they would have informed us earlier, right?
Haruka sighed deeply and kissed her daughter's forehead who yawned. It had
already been too exhausting for the little girl.
"Haruka?"
She turned around and saw Elza running towards her in the twilight. The sun was
behind clouds and setting quickly. The wind got rougher and Elza froze. She
didn't wear a thick jacket like Haruka. She wore a dirtied apron and held a
wooden spoon in her right hand.
"Come in, Haruka. Dinner is ready. Before Sissy starts without having eaten. You
know how she is."
Haruka nodded and followed the smaller girl slowly. Hai, slowly she knew how the
young woman could be. She would be away for this weekend to show the firm her
new computer programme she just finished yesterday night. She was in big hectic
and when Setsuna was in stress everything was too late. Elza and Haruka agreed
silently that she would look after Setsuna that she didn't forget her notebook
with the important programme when she would take a taxi to get to the airport.
Michiru wasn't around to drive her, she had another rehearsal with her
orchestra. As she had the past five days. Often she returned very late in the
night and was tired the next morning. They hardly talked to each other in school
and right after school Michiru was again away. With her violin in her hand and a
painful expression on her face. Haruka tried to talk to her about her hand and
about Hotaru, but Michiru never had time. She only headed away quickly.
Setsuna only shrugged her shoulders and said that it was always this way when
Christmas came nearer. She had a lot of concerts to do and this year she wanted
to publish another concert. Classical and modern music. And that her conductor
wanted her to sing, but that they couldn't decide which song.
Elza only winked her hand and said that this was simply Michiru's way of living
with her music. That she was dead when she didn't run from one rehearsal to
another one.
Haruka silently disagreed them. She didn't know Michiru the well they did, but
she had the strange feeling that this behaviour wasn't normal. Not even for a
famous musician like she was. The more Haruka thought about the past days, the
more she had the feeling that Michiru didn't run from one rehearsal to the next,
but that she ran away. From something the tall blonde didn't know. Yet.
"What did you cook?"
"Salad." Answered Elza and waved the spoon in her hands. "And a baguette."
"Didn't know that you can cook salad."
Elza turned around for a second and raised her eyebrows.
"I would have burned it anyway." Answered Haruka and cradled her daughter who
fell asleep. Soon she would get hungry and wake up, but Haruka would let her
sleep until that moment. She looked so peaceful when she slept. Really like a
little angel. Who came from heaven to save her. With an innocent smile, with a
happy laughter, with the touch of her tiny hand grabbing her blonde strands.
Simply like that.
Elza only laughed and held the balcony door open for her.
"It's getting colder. Wonder when it starts to rain." Wondered the red haired
girl aloud and took care for the dishes while Haruka laid her daughter carefully
in the cradle and stripped her shoes and her jacket.
"It looks more like rain right now."
"Right."
For a moment there was silence between them that was suddenly interrupted by a
tall woman who crashed into the room. Setsuna was wearing a dark green suite
that fitted perfectly to her. But her hairs were still damp. She had covered the
most of them with a towel as she stumbled over the carpet. Orpheus only raised
the big head but the dog seemed to be used to Setsuna's hectic behaviour. Soon
the St. Bernhard dog was fast asleep again. He didn't like salad so much and
knew that begging was senseless.
"Gomen, but I really have to..."
"You have to eat something. The taxi won't be here before seven. So, sit down
and eat!" said Elza determinedly and pulled Setsuna towards her chair after she
put the packed notebook carefully on the ground. "You still have half an hour
time. Don't mess up, okay?"
Setsuna let out a deep breath as she said down and nodded finally.
"Okay."
"When will you return?" asked Elza while she took the baguette out of the oven
and gave them all a big piece of it.
"Sunday evening I hope." Setsuna took her fork and ate the salad in a speed Elza
normally used. And Setsuna normally didn't like to see. "I hope that's not a big
problem for you." She looked directly at Haruka who searched in her salad for
the cheese.
"No." The tall blonde shook her head. "Today is Friday. No school the next two
days." Shortly she glanced over to Hotaru who still slept in her cradle near the
table. "I have to be thankful that you are always taking care for her when I am
at school, Setsuna. You don't have to feel guilty, just because you aren't here
this weekend. It's your job anyway."
Setsuna blushed because of that compliment and wolfed down her baguette. She
didn't even complain that there was too less spice on the salad sauce.
"Believe me, Haruka, I'd prefer to baby sit our little sunshine the whole
weekend than being just for one minute at this meeting." Setsuna took her glass
of tea and sighed deeply. "I love this job. I love it to work with computers,
but I guess I am not very good in working with people."
"Oh, don't worry, they'll like you and they'll love your programme." Grinned
Elza and raised her hands. "Otherwise I'll have to punish them all. When I am
ready with them they'll come to you on their knees and beg you for
forgiveness."
Setsuna smiled shortly, then she finished her dinner and was already in a hurry.
She threw the towel on the ground, grabbed her scarf, put it around her neck and
was out of the room before Haruka even had the chance to start with her meal.
"Sissy?" screamed Elza, half laughing, half annoyed.
"Hai?" Setsuna's head appeared again in the frame. She was now brushing her
hairs and trying to get into her high heels at once. A circus artist wouldn't
have earned the same astonishing affect.
"Didn't you forget something?"
"Oh yeah, good bye to you two. Take care of yourself while I am away and don't
try to burn the house this time, Elza."
"That was only ONE time, Sissy! And that's now four years ago."
"Hai, that's what makes me wonder the most: When you'll try it again. Four years
are a long time to make big plans and stuff." Answered Setsuna and hang her
jacket around her shoulders. The taxi would arrive soon and she didn't want to
waste a single second.
"You are impossible!"
"Just like you!"
"ARG!"
Haruka only watched them in silence. Slowly she got used to those little fights,
although she still wondered why they argued this way. This hidden way. Why they
didn't talk to each other about it. Openly. 
"Did you forget that cradle or what?"
"It was only a singe cradle and Michi could erase it."
"It had been close."
"I didn't do it again, did I?"
Haruka only shook her head and pointed over to the black case still standing in
the kitchen. Elza followed her look and started evilly to grin.
"I think you did something else forget." She giggled and took the case. Slowly
she went over to the corridor and soon Haruka could only hear their voices.
"Don't you need this?"
"Shimatta! My notebook! Arigato, little one!"
"Hey, I want something for it! I found it and I don't give it away for
nothing!"
"You blackmailer! Okay, what is it that you want? A new dress? Going to the
cinema? Driving the car on a parking space?"
"What about a good bye kiss? We won't see each other during the next days."
There was a second of total silence, then Haruka could hear how the door was
opened energetically.
"Take yourself a boyfriend and ask him!" snapped Setsuna, suddenly very angry
and the door closed again with a bang.
Haruka frowned, but she couldn't hear anything else. Elza didn't seem to react.
At least she didn't scream any words or kick at the door or crash some
furniture. If she was still in the house, she was only standing there. But maybe
she left with Setsuna and they were now standing on the street. In a cold
autumn's evening. In the dark. Keeping arguing until the taxi would arrive.
I wonder why they can't talk about it. Is it such a big deal when you are rich?
Haruka frowned and started slowly to eat. It had never been complicated for her
to say Hikari what she felt, what she wanted. Only those three words she had
never been able to say aloud. Maybe because she would have let her defence walls
down. But maybe it was different when you live on the street and are dependent
from your partner, or when you are rich and live in a big house and your partner
is only someone you meet in your free time or on parties. Haruka didn't know.
She had never that rich and she had never had such friends. Especially not after
her parent's death. But she knew that she had to talk to Elza about it. Even if
Elza wouldn't listen to her. But Haruka made the bitter experience how it felt
to say those three little words too late. Or never at all.
Still there could nothing be heard. Only the ticking of the clock near the
microwave oven. Haruka turned her head and stared at the pointer walking over
the white underground.
I hope Michiru's rehearsals won't be too long.
Haruka sighed deeply and chewed slowly on her baguette as the clock ringed seven
in the evening. Mostly Michiru didn't return before midnight. And somehow the
tall blonde had the feeling that it wouldn't get any earlier this night.

***

It started to rain two hours ago. About ten minutes after Elza had left. She had
called herself a taxi and went home. She didn't talk to Haruka again. She only
grabbed her school bag, her jacket and left. For what Haruka could tell, the red
haired girl had looked very sad. And a little bit angry. 
I wish I could help her.
But the tall blonde didn't know how. She was in this family for some weeks now,
but still she didn't belong here. She couldn't help Elza. The wild girl wouldn't
even have listened to her. Not this evening.
I am not here to give any advice.
Haruka sighed deeply and glanced at her watch. It was now shortly after ten. And
there was no trace of Michiru. As every evening. The tall blonde raised her head
and looked over to Hotaru who laid in her cradle and slept deep and tight. She
was fed, bathed, took her medicine and got new nappies. Happily she held the toy
dolphin in her tiny arms and would sleep for at least two more hours.
I wish Michiru would come home.
There were so many things Haruka wanted so badly to talk about. About the
doctor's appointment and why they didn't get any results until now. If that was
a bad or a good sign. She wanted to talk to her about Setsuna. That she worked
too much and slept too much, because she had to take care for Hotaru while
Haruka was at school. If there was another possibility. And she wanted to talk
to Michiru about all those rehearsals. That her hand wasn't healed yet, that she
got less sleep, too. And that she simply had to take care for herself. She was
17, very young. She was still at school and she should think of herself.
Haruka sighed again and tried to concentrate again on her English homework. She
wanted to wait for Michiru to come home and so she had to do something not to
fall asleep. First she wanted to watch TV, but they only sent rubbish. Then she
tried to read a book, but couldn't concentrate on the content. Now she tried to
write the essay about their most favourite pet, but she couldn't see any
progress when she had to look up almost every second word. Of course she decided
to describe Orpheus who laid right now next to the cradle and slept deep and
tight. From time to time his right ear shook, but that was the only motion the
big St. Bernhard dog did. Haruka grinned, but made a depressive face as she
couldn't translate her Japanese thoughts in English.
I've never been good in languages.
Haruka opened her dictionary again and wondered if she'd find this time the
right word. The last time she did her homework with this little, but heavy book,
Michiru had chuckled a lot as she corrected it.
But Michiru is very good.
Michiru was very good everywhere. The only issue she didn't like was math. But
she could draw nice pictures. She could play the violin and do magic evolving
one melody after another. She did not only learn English, but also French. Her
marks were very good. And she helped Haruka to get by with her marks. She had
never been the best pupil, but she missed the past two years and had to fight in
most of the lessons.
Maybe she already did this homework?
Haruka chewed on her pencil and closed the dictionary loudly. It was at least
worth a try. They got this homework last Monday for the following one. For
someone as good as Michiru it was not a big problem. She had some more
rehearsals this weekend, maybe she already wrote her assay and Haruka could
quote some sentences or at least some words that sounded quite nice.
Shortly Haruka looked at Hotaru and Orpheus, but there was no danger for her
daughter. So she sneaked out of her room and into Michiru's. It was like going
in another world. In an author's world. And, no matter how strange it sounded,
in the ocean's world. The walls were full with drawings of the sea. Of dancing
dolphins. Of sleeping whales. Of the calm sea, reflecting the moon's light on
its surface. Of the wild sea crashing against the cliffs. The window was opened.
As always. You could hear the rushes of the near waves, could smell the salt of
the big ocean surrounding Japan. Some sea birds screamed, surely on their
constant search for food. The bed was right next to the window and it was
covered with a lot of sheets. Surely notes. There was a book shelf near the
door. It was full with books. Mostly about musicians. The big CD player was mute
now, an opened violin case laid on its top. Michiru didn't have only one violin,
she had at least three as Haruka found out. The carpet was soft and muffled
Haruka's steps as she crossed the room. There was another one next to it. A
little curtain separated it from the sleeping room. This room looked naked for
the first moment, because there were no drawings on the walls, but at the second
look you know why. Because the wall showing to the ocean was made out of glass.
Pure glass. It was surely a great look to see the sun rise from here. A
comfortable looking couch stood near the balcony door that was opened, too. Some
easel filled the room. They were all covered with white blankets. Surely they
weren't ready yet. As everywhere, sheets filled with notes laid on the ground.
And on the dark wood of a big piano. The wing was opened and it seemed to
sparkle in the dimmed light that came of the sleeping room. Haruka gulped as she
saw it and automatically clenched her fists. She didn't know about it. Michiru
never played it. She only played her violin. Sometimes the whole night. Again
and again a sad melody that moved Haruka's heart deeply.
The taller girl sighed deeply and without wanting it, she had to stroke over the
dark wood. It felt familiar. So damn familiar. She wanted to touch the keys. She
wanted to hear the soft melodies again. She wanted...
Haruka's fingers shook as they stroke over the black and white keys. Then she
stiffed and turned around.
She didn't want to remember, to get hurt, to mourn again. It was over. Finally
over. She couldn't turn back time. She couldn't bring them back to live. Not
even when she played the piano the way her father used to do. The way her mother
learned it to her when she had been younger.
Haruka thought of the reason for her coming and left the room as quickly as she
could. It almost looked like a flight. Although the soft melody kept playing
inside her head. On and on and on. She would never end. Not really.
Her desktop is a mess.
Haruka raised her eyebrows as she looked at the chaos of sheets and opened books
and pencils. But she wanted to finish her homework, so she started carefully to
search in it. Somewhere had to be at least Michiru's English book. She always
made notes into it. That would at least help a little bit.
"My goddess. And I thought I have chaos in my school bag." Marbled Haruka as she
tried to dig deeper. Then she stopped. And frowned. And pulled carefully a sheet
of paper out of the mountain. It was a letter. A medical letter. From the
hospital. From Dr. Sugara.
She got the results?
Haruka took a deep breath and sat down on the chair. Not caring that she sat
down on Michiru's evening dress she forgot to hang in her wardrobe. Her hands
started to shake as she started to read the letter.
Why didn't she tell me?
Haruka gulped and suddenly tears burned in her eyes. She didn't have to finish
the letter to know why Michiru kept silent. And to know why Michiru ran from one
rehearsal to the next one. From what exactly she was running away.
Damn...
Haruka's view blurred as she searched again in the hill of papers. She didn't
notice that she threw all the books and the notes on the ground. That even
Michiru's third violin crackled as it hit the carpet. The tall blonde only
pulled all the letters out that had the hospital's sign. Her heart beat
increased as she read them all. All at once. Trying to find somewhere a sentence
or at least a word that told her that the first results had been wrong. Her
hands shook so hard that she ripped some of those papers, but the result didn't
change. Haruka read words she didn't know, she didn't learn at school or at
university. She had lived on the street, she didn't finish school. But she was
not stupid. She didn't have to be a doctor to know the meaning of all those
letters.
No...
To know that her worst nightmare got real.

***

It was past midnight as Michiru parked her silver Ferrari at her house. She
yawned and stumbled over to the front door. It was very cold outside and it
rained like hell. It had been an exhausting evening and an even more exhausting
drive through Tokyo and a rain wet outskirts.
Michiru yawned again and stripped her shoes. She held her violin case in her
hand, but she hadn't been to a rehearsal. They had some rehearsals this weekend,
but not this evening. She had spent the last five hours in the hospital. Talking
to the doctor. About the chances and the risks.
Michiru tried to straightened, but the fear in her heart didn't get smaller. Now
she had to tell Haruka about the results. What they meant for Hotaru. What the
doctor had told her the past days. What they could, what they had to do to save
the little girl's life. The chance was small, but it was still a chance. If they
fought, they could win.
Michiru sighed deeply and walked upstairs.
All those words she thought of the past days sounded so logical, so easy in her
mind, but to say them aloud, she didn't know if Haruka would believe her. And
she didn't know how Haruka would react. Being confronted with the worst.
Michiru stared for some seconds at Haruka's closed door, but decided against.
First she would put away her violin, then she would change her clothes and think
it over again. And then she would talk to Haruka. 
Sissy is not here. She's with that firm to show them her new programme.
Michiru wasn't sure if she should be happy or sad about that fact. She wanted to
tell Setsuna all this stuff, too, and she wanted to have her as support if
Haruka would freak out. But on the other hand she didn't know if Setsuna
wouldn't freak out, too. And if Setsuna would be angry that she didn't tell her
anything over the past weeks she took care of the little girl.
Michiru brushed some hairs out of her forehead and opened the door to her little
empire. Rough wind welcomed her. She frowned but remembered that she forgot to
close the windows. As always. She rubbed her tired eyes and looked up. And
froze.
The violin case escaped her hand and fell hard on the ground. Her room was a
mess. Or at least, it was more chaos than usual. A jet seemed to be crashed in
her desk and one of her violins laid on the ground. It looked broken.
What the...
"Why didn't you tell me?"
The voice was cold. Incredibly cold. And insensible. Michiru blinked and she
needed some moments to realize that the shadow sitting on the ground was Haruka.
Her face was in shadows, but Michiru didn't need to read in her expression. She
could sense the hate and the anger. As she could see all the letters laying
around the tall girl. As she did know what the big letter contained Haruka was
holding in her shaking hand.
"I..." gulped Michiru and suddenly all those well thought words were gone. Her
head was empty and she didn't know what to say. "I..."
"This letter is from Tuesday, Michiru! From Tuesday. Today is Friday!" Haruka's
voice was silent. Michiru didn't know if she would have preferred a screaming
Haruka. This insensible tone was even worse than every angry screams could have
been.
"I..."
"You could at least told me the result. That's all I would have asked you!"
Haruka came hard to her feet. Her legs suddenly felt like pudding. The whole
world seemed to spin around but she ignored her dizziness. The same she ignored
Michiru's pale face, the tears in her blue eyes. The shocked, helpless
expression on her beautiful face.
"I thought you'd be so fair to tell me the truth. But your damn contract is more
important, right? You feared that I would go when I'd known that you wouldn't
have to waste your money for an operation. Because an operation isn't necessary
now any longer, right?" Haruka's voice was like a knife in her heart. Michiru
shook her head and watched how Haruka came nearer. She had clenched her fists,
the letter in her fingers was slightly torn.
"Three days, Michiru! And I really hoped!" Haruka shook her head. "How could you
dare!" With those words the tall blonde left the room and Michiru could hear
another door open. Then she heard a silent whimper she got to know so well
during the past weeks.
"No!" Suddenly the trance that had kept Michiru's body seemed to disappear. All
those words returned, but all at once and in disorder. "No! You can't take her
away! You can't simply go like that!" she screamed and stumbled over to the
room. Without thinking she pushed Haruka away from the cradle and stepped
protecting in front of it. Determinedly she spread her arms before the now
awaken baby. Little Hotaru obviously was hungry. Maybe she needed new nappies,
too. And she needed this cradle, these soft blankets and a warm room. Not that
cold, lonely flat where Haruka couldn't hardly afford the rent.
"Listen to me! Haruka! Listen to me!"
"Why should I? You lied to me!" Haruka's voice was shaky as she came again to
her feet. 
This is the end. There's no operation possible for Himme-chan. She won't be wild
and chase flying birds. She will never be a strong, little girl. She will never
be a beautiful woman. She will never fall in love. She will not even survive the
next Christmas.
Haruka gulped and the letter fell on the ground.
I'll be alone again. All alone...
She wanted so badly to save the persons she loved: Her parents, Hikari and her
daughter. But she failed. In every single case she failed so badly. She couldn't
help them. She couldn't hold them. They all left her. Left her behind. All
alone.
Damn...
"Go away, Michiru! Our contract is over. Thanks for all the things you gave her,
but now it's time to go. I am sure that you'll find someone else to search for
those talismans."
So much suffering.
So much pain.
So much wasted hope.
It's over now! It has to have an end! I won't let all this happen again!
Haruka tried to bow over the cradle to get her daughter who looked at her with
big, dark green eyes as if she knew what was going on.
Let's go home, little princess.
"No!" Michiru grabbed her shoulder and held her back with all her desperate
powers. "Listen to me, Haruka! Listen to me before you freak out!"
"Freaking out! How would you react if the one you loves dies slowly???" growled
Haruka and tried to free herself, but Michiru was strong. Or had she become weak
during the past months? "Well, you don't know that feeling, you can buy
everything with your damn money, right?"
"Shut up!" Michiru pressed Haruka against the wall near the cradle. Tears were
streaming over her face. "Shut up and listen, Haruka! There's still an operation
possible! I talked to Dr. Sugara-san a lot during the past days! The chance is
small, only 30 percent, but it's still a chance. We'll risk it, Haruka. And with
a little bit luck she'll be healthy soon."
"Luck? We Tenôs were never lucky." Laughed Haruka but the laughter sounded
crazy and made Michiru freeze. "Didn't you read the letters correctly, you
genius? They can't repair Himme-chan's heart. She needs a new heart!"
"She's already on top of the list." Whispered Michiru, more tears streamed over
her face. "I wanted to make everything clear before I talk to you about it,
Haruka. If there's a heart somewhere on Japan that fits to her body, we'll get
it."
Please, Haruka, believe me! I'll want to see Himme-chan alive and happy, too. I
love her, too. Don't you know? I love that little daredevil!
"A new heart? A list?"
Suddenly all those memories came crashing back to Haruka.
>All she needs are some painkillers. Please, doctor, can't you give her some?<
>I am afraid, no. You don't have any insurance.<
>But she needs them so badly.<
>Believe me, lad, even painkillers won't help her much.<
>You liar!<
>It's okay, Haru-chan. Let's go. He's right.<
>But...<
>This medicine was invented for other people, not for people like me.<
>But...<
>Forget about it, Haru-chan. You can't change it.<
>But...<
>Let's go.<
Haruka had known that it hadn't changed Hikari's destiny, but it would have
taken away a lot of pain from her and made the life that was left for her a
little bit more comfortable.
"She won't get a new heart. Not with a 30 percent chance. People like we don't
get such a big chance."
People like we.
Michiru gulped and her hands held Haruka's arms a little bit tighter. She wanted
so badly to take this girl in her arms. To tell her that she was the same worthy
like all those other people around. She wanted to get to know more about her
past. How she got Hotaru, how she came to live in that small flat and working
for a gas station to wash the cars there. She wanted to be there for the little
girl as for its mother. But Haruka didn't look as if she would accept any
comfort.
People like we.
The worst was that Haruka was right. Michiru knew that too well. If you had no
money, if you had no name, if you had nothing you couldn't achieve anything in
this world.
"Meioh Michiru's goddaughter stands automatically on top of the list." Whispered
Michiru silently and sobbed quietly. She hated it to achieve anything just
because her parents were rich. Just because her parents were famous. But if it
was Hotaru's only chance, she would do whatever it would cost.
"The next free heart that fits to her body will be hers."
Goddaughter.
God...
...daughter.
Daughter.
Haruka's eyes grew wide and she looked over to Hotaru who stared terrified to
whimper. She had never heard her mother scream and automatically it frightened
her.
Daughter.
>Don't you think you should abort it? It would be a lot easier for you.
Otherwise, how do you want to raise it? It's better you'll abort it. I'll make
an appointment for you.<
>No. I want to keep it.<
Daughter.
>Did you ever think of adoption? There are many people outside who want to have
a little child so badly but aren't able to get one. Rich people who could give
your child everything it needs. What do you think about it? I could find some
nice new parents for your child.<
>No. I want to keep it.<
Daughter.
>It's a big responsibility. To work and to take care for your child. We could
give her in an orphanage and as long as you could order your life you can get
her back. What...<
>No! I want to keep her!<
Daughter.
"So, that's the real reason for this strange contract! You only want to take her
away from me. Just like all those other stupid people wanted to steal her!"
Haruka grabbed Michiru's shoulders and shook her violently. "You won't take her
away, Meioh-san! She belongs to me! Maybe I am not the most perfect mother of
this world, but I try my best to raise her!"
>Someone like you shouldn't get pregnant.<
>Abort it!<
>Someone like you should get sterile!<
>Adopt it!<
>Someone like you should get killed before you can increase!<
>Give her away!<
>You damn whore!<
>Bitch!<
"She belongs to me, can't you see that? I won't let you take her away! Get
yourself an own child if you want to be a mother, but don't take my daughter!"
Michiru frowned and more tears streamed over her face.
What the hell...
"Leave me, Haruka! You are hurting me!" she cried and tried to free herself, but
Haruka's rough touch was stronger than her defence. "Dammed, Ruka! You are
hurting! Stop it!" Michiru shook her head as they both stumbled struggling over
the carpet. Hotaru whimpered louder and louder and Orpheus growled warning.
"Ruka!"
"Don't take her away! She aren't allowed to take her away from me!" stuttered
Haruka just like a prayer. Again and again, cursing goose flesh of Michiru's
skin. She gulped as the pain increased in her arms. She was sure that Haruka's
fingers would leave bruises on her skin.
Shimatta, what shall I do?
If Sissy would be here!
You didn't know her, right? Right? You don't know anything about her. You don't
even know that she's Sailor Uranus. She's only a stranger to you. You don't know
what she has done in her past. Maybe she murdered someone? Maybe she already
beat someone down so that he needed a hospital? Maybe she's mad?
Her daughter is in life danger. I would be the same mad if I'd be in her
situation.
But it hurts!
Don't let her hurt yourself!
Don't let her hurt herself!
Don't let her hurt Himme-chan.
Because if she takes the little girl now with her, Himme-chan will die. That's
for sure!
"Ruka! Get normal again!" Michiru raised her hand and slapped the other one
right into the face. Wondering how the other one's cheeks could be so dry.
Michiru couldn't hold back her tears and the pain in her heart seemed to tear
her body apart. "Be reasonable! Listen and understand before you react! And stop
hurting other people!"
Haruka felt the pain on her cheek. She blinked and looked in two tear filled
eyes.
>Did he hurt you badly, Hika-chan?<
>It's okay, Haru-chan. Just gimme a day off this business and I'll be fine
again.<
>I hate people who have to hurt weaker ones! They are cowards.<
>That's the way of the world, Haru-chan. You can't change it.<
>But I hate them.<
>Sure...<
Hate.
Haruka's eyes grew wide and automatically she let Michiru go. She heard the
whimpering of her daughter and gulped. Suddenly she felt like a total jerk.
Slowly, very slowly Michiru's words came to her mind. Slowly, very slowly she
understood their meanings.
30 percent.
On top of the list.
Haruka gulped and looked again at Michiru who stepped over to the cradle and
crossed her arms before her chest. Now she looked like a puma. Like a puma
mother protecting her puma baby.
The next heart will be hers.
30 percent.
"Get reasonable, Ruka! Himme-chan is your daughter and I would never dare to
take her away from you! No one wants to take her away from you. Dr. Sugara-san
and I only want to help her, that's all!" Michiru rubbed her aching arms and
sobbed quietly. "Don't take her away from our help, Ruka. Because then she'll
die. If she won't get a new heart soon she won't survive the next year! Think of
your daughter, Ruka, before you react! Please!"
Haruka gulped and felt suddenly very sick.
Without a new heart she'll die this year.
The whole world seemed to spin around and this house was suddenly too small for
her. She seemed to choke. 
I would have never earned enough money for the operation in time.
She would have died if I hadn't met Michiru.
Even now the chance is tiny.
30 percent...
Haruka wanted to say something, but then she only turned around and left the
room. Ran downstairs. Opened the front door and ran out in the rain. Not
noticing that she was only wearing slippers. That her winter jacket still hang
in the entrance hall. That she had no money with her and not even the keys for
the house. Her head seemed to explode and her heart raced as she ran along the
wet street. Towards Tokyo. Not thinking any longer. Only running. The way she
had done when she had been younger. Running as long as she would break down.
Trying to escape her problems this way. Now she was older. Now she knew that
this was not the way to escape anything. But still she didn't know how to handle
this situation different.
She only closed her burning eyes and speed up. Fighting against the rough wind.
Fighting against the cold wind. Fighting against her deep fears.

***

For a long time Michiru stared at the opened door.
She'll return when she calmed down.
Michiru gulped and pulled a still whimpering Hotaru in her arms. Carefully she
rocked the baby while she went downstairs to heat her milk bottle up. To sit
down in the living room. To tell her a good night fairy tale. And to wait for
her mother to return.
It's surely just the shock. She won't leave her daughter alone. She loves her.
Hell, I've seen so often how much she loves this little girl. Of course it's a
big shock for her to know how hard the future will be. To know that she can lose
her daughter.
Michiru gulped and some tears sparkled again in her blue eyes.
The same it was still a shock for Michiru. She loved this little girl, too. She
couldn't imagine her life any longer without Himme-chan. As she couldn't imagine
it any longer without Haruka. Those weeks had been enough to change her whole
mind.
I love you, don't you know?
Michiru smiled as Hotaru started slowly to drink.
At least you know it, Himme-chan. At least you.
Michiru gulped and took carefully care for the little girl while she drank.
Haruka will return. Surely she'll return after the first shock.
The young violinist winced as the storm increased outside. As the rain crashed
harder and harder against the windows. It was a typical autumn weather. Wet and
cold. And very, very dark.
Soon she'll be back.
Michiru didn't expect an excuse. She only wanted to talk to Haruka in peace. To
tell her all the facts the doctor had told her. To promise her that she'll do
everything in her might to save the little girl.
Sure she'll be back soon. Every moment the door bell will ring and she'll be
there. Soaked and still a little bit angry, but she won't run away from her
daughter.
She wouldn't, right?
Right?
Michiru got more and more impatient as the hours passed by. As the storm
increased. As the rain got more dense. Shortly before four in the morning she
brought Hotaru back to her cradle and took her cell phone. And dialled a
number.

***

She didn't know this region. It was surely one of the better ones in Tokyo. But
she didn't care about it. She ran as long as her body could bear it. And a
little bit longer. Now she felt really sick. Her slippers were soaked and her
pullover and her pants hang wet around her slim, shaking body. Blonde strands
hang into her burning eyes. Her face was wet, too. But she knew that it was
because of the rain. She didn't cry. She knew that it never changed things. The
last time she cried had been on Hikari's day of death. They didn't bring her
back to her. So she stopped crying. It simply didn't help her. It only showed
that she was weak. A weak girl. Someone she never wanted to be.
Her breath hang like little clouds in front of her mouth. Her head ached and she
felt dizzy. She forgot to take her medicine. 
I should go back.
Haruka raised her head and all the light irritated her. The lights of the
advertising. Of the restaurants. Of the shops. Of the near cinema. Of the cars.
Of the lamp lights. Of the big city she got to know from its darkest side during
the past years.
I really should go back.
She squinted and the dizziness seemed to overtake her. She had pushed her body
to its limits and now she had to face the consequences. Her mouth was dry and
her whole body shook. She froze like hell and her fingers were already . She
choked and wrapped her arms around her freezing body. Wincing as the wet cloth
touched her skin.
But how shall I get back?
Is it right to go back? Maybe I am not welcomed any longer?
You would have deserved it! You hurt her!
Haruka sighed deeply and felt again her still burning cheek.
She had to defence herself. You've been like an animal.
Haruka sighed deeply and stumbled as someone walked by and pushed her by
mistake. She slipped on her wet slippers and almost fell on the ground.
Damn!
She never wanted to get into such a situation again. Wasn't it how it all began
just two years ago? Did she want to make the same mistake again?
No...
Haruka gulped and went over to the entrance of a shop that was already closed.
It sold newspapers. No one wanted to buy a newspaper at a time like this.
Somewhere a clock rang, telling Haruka that it was already three o'clock in the
morning. She shouldn't be here. She should be at the Meioh's house. Listening to
Michiru's words. Trying to gain that little hope that still left for them. 30
percent were a tiny chance, but it was bigger than the chance Hikari had have.
Michi...
Haruka sat down on the lowest step and leaned herself against the cold wall.
I screamed at her.
I hurt her.
And all she did was trying to help Himme-chan. To save her. She went with her to
the doctor. She talked to the doctor about the results. She took care that
Himme-chan's on that list.
Haruka closed her burning eyes and coughed.
Damn, can't I do anything right? Does I always chose the wrong way?
She brought her legs nearer to her chest and sighed deeply. She felt incredibly
dizzy. It was better if she just kept sitting here for a little bit more time
until she would feel better. She had to walk back. All the way. All those miles.
She couldn't call herself a taxi. She had no money with her. And she didn't dare
to ask Michiru to pay it.
Will she be angry?
But she didn't tell me about the results! She didn't tell me that she knew
Himme-chan's results over three days!
What would you have done in her situation?
Hm?
>I don't need to see the doctor's results.<
>But I want you to visit a doctor! You are ill, Hika-chan.<
>I know that I am ill, but they can't help me. Understand that, Haru-chan!<
>If you give up so easily...<
>Hell, Haru-chan, I know that my chances are zero percent! I won't grow old!<
>That doesn't mean that you should throw away your youth like that!<
>I wish I had your optimism, Haru-chan.<
Now it was Michiru who had so much optimism. Who would do anything just to make
Hotaru survive the operation. She believed that 30 percent were a real chance
while Haruka didn't dare to have too big hopes. They had been destroyed so often
before.
Ruka.
Haruka gulped and wrapped her arms tighter around her body. Rain ran through her
hairs and over her neck, let her even more shiver. It was the first time that
someone called her different than Haruka or Tenô-san. Or bitch, whore, beggar.
It was a nickname. Haruka couldn't remember the last time she had have a nick
name. Such a nice nick name.
Ruka...
Haruka buried her face on her knees and tried to ignore the bitter cold raising
in her bones. She didn't experience such a bitter cold since that day Hikari
died. The day she got Hotaru. That day when they found her and saved her.
I wish she would mean it. I wish she would mean all those things she does. I
wish she would do them just because of me or at least jut because of Himme-chan.
Not because of our bloody contract. I wish I would belong there. I wish I could
call that house home. I wish so badly to call those people my family...
Haruka pressed her eyelids harder together until she saw stars.
Stop dreaming! You are here because of that bloody contract. You aren't here to
give any advice. You aren't here because they want you to be here. You aren't
here to dream, but to fight against those youmas!
Haruka gulped and coughed again.
Someone like me doesn't deserve a family...
"Haruka?"
The voice came from a far distant. She didn't know if she really fall asleep. It
was still raining. The noises of the cars didn't change. But her body was almost
stiff of the bitter cold. 
"Haruka? Is it you?"
Slowly she raised her head and looked into startled eyes. The rain stopped as an
umbrella was held over her head.
"Haruka? What are you doing here?"
The tall blonde needed some moments to recognize the person standing in front of
her. The hood of a thick jacket covered almost all of the fire red hairs and the
girl didn't wear a mini skirt right now but thick pants.
"I..." Haruka coughed. Her mouth was very dry and her throat ached.
"My, you look like fever, you know that?" Elza took her cell phone and wanted to
dial a number, but Haruka tried to get it and shook her head.
"Don't call Michiru." She whispered and coughed again. She didn't want to
shiver, but her body seemed to shook all from alone. "I can't go back like
that."
Elza frowned, but put the phone finally again into her handbag. At least it was
screaming pink. Grey Elza wasn't Grey Elza when she didn't have at least one
cloth that could be seen from the Mars in darkness.
 "You had a fight?" asked the red haired girl and frowned even more. She knew
Michiru for all those years, she knew that she would have never let Haruka leave
the house like that: Only in pants and a thin pullover. In slippers! The girl
was soaked to the bones.
"Kinda." Whispered Haruka and coughed again. Elza sighed slightly, then she
stripped her jacket and hang it around Haruka's shoulders.
"Let's call a taxi and get you dry again, okay?" she said determinedly, leaving
no doubt that she wouldn't accept any contradiction. "I'll make you a hot cacao
and then you'll tell me what happened, okay?"
Haruka only crept deeper in the warm jacket and stared at her wet slippers. She
didn't respond anything, but Elza hadn't expected an answer anyway.

***

Elza's rooms were the way Haruka had expected them: A total chaos. Michiru's
room was well tidied up in comparison. But the tall blonde liked it the way she
had to take care not to stumble over old clothes, school books or video tapes as
she crossed the sleeping room.
"Maybe the pants are a little bit too short, but it should fit." Elza produced a
tracking suit out of her wardrobe's depths. "I'll take care for our cacao,
okay?" The red haired girl put the clothes and a big towel on her messed bed and
jumped out of her room. She didn't want to wake her nursemaid up, but she was
sure that they still had some milk in the big fridge.
Haruka hesitated, but finally changed. The clothes were really a little bit too
short, but they were warm. That was all what counted. The tall girl went over to
the second room while she tried to rub her hairs dry with the towel. This room
was tidied up. Only some sheets were lying on the ground, but they were less in
comparison to the bedroom. In the middle stood a black piano. It looked like the
piano Michiru had.
What a beautiful instrument.
Haruka's hands touched the dark wood before she could hinder it.
Just like daddy's piano.
The tall blonde sighed as she opened the wing. The strings were perfect. Just
like the keyboard. Automatically she said down and before she knew she was doing
she touched the keys. A soft melody evolved from her mind. From her memory. A
sad melody. Just the way she had felt when she invented it. All that were
missing was a good lyric. But she couldn't think of one.
Just like the old days.
Haruka moved her fingers and glanced over to the wall covered with a picture of
a famous Japanese piano player. The tall blonde needed some moments to recognize
Elza's father. It surely was her father, because he had the same fire red hairs
and the same grin on his face. He looked very young.
He died very young...
I wish I would have been as young as Elza. Maybe I wouldn't have been so sad
after their death. Maybe I wouldn't have run away from the orphanage. Maybe I
would have found nice adoptive parents. Maybe...
Are you really so sure?
Do you really want to miss all those happy days you experienced with your
parents?
Really?
Really?
Really?
Haruka sighed deeply and winced hard as she heard the applause. The music died
away as she turned around to face Elza. She held two steaming pots in her hands
and smiled surprised.
"That was excellent, Haruka. Didn't know that you are able to play the piano."
"There's a lot you don't know about me." Answered Haruka silently and closed the
wing again. Very carefully and very skill full.
"That's my father's piano. Sissy's father and he have the same. Now Michi plays
her daddy's one and my father's one stands here. I tried to learn it, too, but I
guess I am not good enough. I am better at sports." Grinned Elza and handled
Haruka one of the pots. The cacao smelled delicious and was still very hot.
"Michi changed after some years to the violin. She only uses the piano to
compose songs or so, but she simply liked her violin better. And she plays it
very well." Elza shrugged her shoulders, threw some clothes from her bed and sat
on the messed blanket. She clapped next to her on the soft underground and
Haruka finally sat down next to her. For a long time they sat there and drank
their cacao in silent.
"So, now tell me, what happened? I know that Michi can be very impatient and not
very nice when she's in stress between two rehearsals or three concerts, but
normally she doesn't let her friends out of the street like this." Elza pointed
at the slippers she threw determinedly into the dustbin. 
"Are you sure that I am a friend?" was all Haruka responded, only staring in her
pot. Elza waited for some moments but as the taller girl kept silent, she had to
see that this conversation wouldn't be easy. You had to provoke Michiru and she
would tell you everything. Or you simply had to be patient with Setsuna and
really listen to her, then she would trust you, too. But Haruka didn't look as
if anyone could provoke her. And patience wouldn't help, too. Elza sensed that
Haruka didn't trust anyone. Not even them. Not even after the past weeks. Maybe
she would never really trust anyone.
"Why not? You like my mashed potatoes. You don't run away when Setsuna starts to
talk for hours about her computers. You really try to listen. And you like
Michiru's music. You never complaint when she practised the whole evening."
Tried Elza to joke but Haruka didn't even smile. Seriously she kept staring into
her cacao, slightly rocking the pot.
I can't tell her about the contract. I can't tell her about this senshi stuff.
She wouldn't understand what I don't understand myself.
"So why did you have a fight? Why do you think that we aren't friends?" Elza
frowned and put her cacao away. "I am a friend of yours, didn't you notice?"
A friend...
She doesn't mean it. She's rich and popular. She always thinks that everyone of
her is a friend and that she has to be a friend of everyone else in return.
Although it sounded tempting.
Michi said that I am her best friend.
Maybe it's just a phrase?
"Hey, don't play dumb! I'll bug you as long until you tell me what happened!"
Elza's voice was amused but Haruka didn't doubt that this girl would really
dance on her nerves until she would give up.
Shimatta! Tell her some facts! It can't destroy what's already destroyed!
"Did Michi ever tell you why I moved in their house some weeks ago?"
"No." Elza was about to protest that this had been very untypical of Sissy and
Michi and that she felt a little bit angry about that fact, but then she decided
to keep silent. She wanted to hear Haruka's version when she would never get to
hear the sisters' one.
"Michiru was threatened by some mean guys. They wanted to rob her. I was there
and saved her." Still Haruka stared in her cacao. "I didn't think much about it.
I simply walked away, but she searched me to thank me. Over half a year later
she found me. Me and my daughter. I just lost my job." Haruka sighed deeply, but
Elza didn't interrupt her. That story sounded just like Michiru was. If she felt
thankful she would really search the whole world to find that person and to
thank her. "Himme-chan is very ill. Maybe you've seen it, maybe not. Her heart
is very weak. Michiru decided to pay for the operation. I had no money and I
just lost my job. I am eighteen, single and a mother, Elza. I can't pay any
insurance nor the operation. Michiru said that she would take care for my
daughter, because she was thankful that I saved her. She said that those guys
could have killed her and that Himme-chan deserves a second chance."
A second chance.
Elza nodded and a sad expression appeared on her face. 
A second chance.
That sounded just like her Michi.
"We've been to the doctor the last week to talk about the operation. They made
some tests and Michiru got the results on Tuesday." Haruka took a deep breath
and held the pot tighter in her hands. "The results are worse than I have ever
expected. There's still a chance for Himme-chan, but it's tiny, Elza." Haruka
sighed slightly. "Michiru wanted to talk to the doctor first, then to me. But
she didn't put away the letters and I found them today. I... I kinda freaked
out, Elza. I called her a liar and I... I even hurt her. Hell, I almost beat
her."
Haruka gulped and slowly raised her head. But Elza's face wasn't full of anger
or hate. It was a little bit pale, but full of understanding.
"My last friend died over a year ago, Elza. Since then no one really cared for
me. I simply don't know why Michiru does all this stuff. Okay, once I've saved
her, but now she gives my daughter the chance to live. I am so deep in her debt,
I can never pay that back, Elza. And I don't know what to think about it. I am a
total stranger, not a member of the family, not even a friend. I..." Haruka
lowered her head again and stared into the brown waves. "I don't want her
sympathy. I don't want any charity. Good, I'll have to take it, because it's my
daughter... last chance... but it... it hurts. Just to help a beggar like me
just to feel better..."
Elza crept a little bit nearer on the soft mattress and laid her right hand on
Haruka's left shoulder.
"It's no sympathy, Haruka. And no charity, be sure. First I didn't now you. I
only accepted you, because you suddenly belonged to Michi and Sissy and I belong
to those crazy sisters. Somehow." Elza grinned but Haruka didn't look up. "But I
really like you now. You are a fantastic mother for Himme-chan and you take care
for Michiru. The way you beat down Tamara, I wish I would have been there to see
her face. I like you because you are a friend. I don't know anything about you,
but that's nor important, is it? The same is for Sissy. She simply loves
Himme-chan and you've never been mean to her or betrayed her."
Elza took a deep breath and leaned against the wall. Thoughtful she looked up at
her lamp on the ceiling.
"Michiru simply had to help you. I guess now she really does it because of
friendship. She hardly has any friends, she simply doesn't trust anyone except
of Sissy and me. But she took you to her concert and let you listen to her
music. That's a big proof of her friendship, Haruka, Maybe it doesn't look this
way but it is." Elza squeezed the slightly shaking shoulder friendly.
"Michiru didn't help you just because of charity. She helped you because of her
own past. She is convinced that everyone deserves a second chance. Just the way
she got a second chance." Shortly Elza looked in asking dark green eyes before
she concentrated again on the lamp. "Michiru's parents didn't want her when she
had been a baby. They abandoned her one night on the steps of an orphanage. In
the middle of December. She almost froze to death. She grew up in different
forster families. But none of them really wanted her. The last one had been the
worst. Michiru never talked about them, but they beat her. I simply think that
they beat her, because she ran away from them. Michiru is very reasonable. She
would never run away, because she knows that she would never survive on the
streets. But she ran away and got ill. Very ill. She wanted to warm herself up
in the waiting hall of the station and there she met Setsuna's parents. They
just came back from a big tour through Europe with their little daughter
Setsuna. Michiru didn't see them and crashed right into them and fainted.
Sissy's father called the ambulance and later on the police. The forster parents
never saw Michi again. But Sissy's parents saw her almost every day. They visit
her. Just like Sissy. And after two months when Michi was healthy again and was
allowed to leave the hospital, Sissy's parents simply took her home. They simply
loved the girl with the big blue eyes and the skilled hands. Sissy's mother
never got another child and Sissy was crazy after her new little sister. Just
two months later they adopted Michi and Michi thanked them with all the love a
little girl could give." Elza gulped. "That's now eight years ago, Haruka. Since
then she believes in a second chance. When Sissy wanted to have a dog, they went
in an animal asylum and took a whimpering puppy and named him Orpheus. Maybe you
didn't notice it, but he's blind on his right ear. But no one wants a half blind
dog. Now he's happy and the most loyal dog you can imagine."
Elza looked back into Haruka's pale face, saw all the questions there. Questions
she knew Haruka would ask Michiru, not she. 
"I guess Michi sees herself in you, Haruka. Whatever you've done in your past,
Haruka, it's not important for her. You and your little daughter deserve a
second chance. She doesn't only give you money for the operation, she also gives
you friendship. You only have to take it."
She ran away?
She lived on the street?
Just like me?
Haruka put her pot away and wrapped her freezing arms around her body.
She had seen all this hell, too?
Maybe she understands me...
"And I am sure she understood your reaction today. Himme-chan is ill..." Elza
clenched her fists as tears sparkled in her eyes. "I didn't realize it. What is
it exactly what she has?"
"Her heart is too weak for her body."
"Shimatta."
"She needs a new one." Whispered Haruka and closed her burning eyes. Suddenly
she froze although she felt hot. Her head ached and seemed to explode soon.
"Dammed! How big are her chances?"
"30 percent." Haruka gulped. To say it out loud was like accepting, like
understanding it. Although she would never understand it.
"She'll do it!" sobbed Elza and Haruka opened surprised her eyes. "Don't look so
stupid. I love that little girl, too. Everyone in this crazy family loves her!
Just wait until mommy will see her. She'll be crazy! She always begs Sissy to
get a child to make her a granny." Elza giggled under her tears. "Don't worry,
your daughter gets every support that's in our might. We all want to see her
growing up."
For a short moment there was silence. Then the telephone started to ring.
"Just wait a sec!" Elza wiped away the tears from her face and jumped out of the
bed. Haruka stared for a long time at the still opened door, heard Elza's voice
somewhere on the corridor. She thought of all those words she just heard, but
she knew that she would need another long time to understand them. Really
understand them. Her head ached even more and even in those warms clothes she
froze like hell. Slowly her thoughts started again to spin around.
"Arigato."
It was only a silent whisper and Elza surely hadn't heard it, but one day she
would. They all would. When Haruka would be again strong enough to trust
someone. To belong to someone without any doubts. To love someone without any
consequences.

***

"Can you stay for tonight, Elza? I've got a rehearsal in three hours and someone
has to take care for Himme-chan." Asked Michiru as she opened the front door to
the big house. She just fetched Haruka and Elza up after she almost called the
police and the FBI. In the last second she decided to call Elza up first and was
endless relieved to hear that Haruka was with her.
"I wish Sissy would ask me that." Smirked the red haired girl and nodded. "No
problem, Michi. My training doesn't start before four in the afternoon."
"I hope that I'll be back right in time."
"Oh, I am good enough, our trainer won't kill me." Elza grinned but her look got
serious again as Haruka bowed to slip out of her shoes and almost fell over. She
really didn't look good. Okay, Elza gave her new, warm clothes, but she didn't
know how long the tall blonde sat on the steps of the shop. In the rain. With
wet clothes on. With soaked slippers. Her eyes sparkled feverish and she moved
slowly. As if she was dizzy or in pain. Shortly Michi and Elza exchanged
glances. Michi only nodded.
"I'll take a long shower now and go to bed then. If you need me, I'll be in
Sissy's room."
"I don't think that she'll like that, Elza."
"She's not here, so she can't complain." Elza grinned and shrugged her
shoulders. Then she went over to Haruka who squinted. Her hairs were still a
little bit damp. "You should take some rest Don't worry, just sleep as long as
you want, I'll take care of Himme-chan tomorrow morning, okay?"
Haruka only nodded. It looked as if she wanted to say something else, but Elza
already disappeared in Setsuna's room. Whistling happily.
Michiru watched her frowning, then she concentrated again on the shivering
person next to her.
"Come, I'll take you to bed." She said and took Haruka's right arm. "You don't
look very healthy to me." She sighed deeply as the other girl didn't react.
"Maybe you should get a warm jacket and sport shoes before you go jogging in the
middle of the night."
Again no answer. 
"And a some coins to call me up that I can fetch you up, okay?"
"How is Himme-chan doing?" was the silent question of Haruka. She reeled
slightly and seemed to need ages to go upstairs.
"Fine. I'll fed her and changed her nappies after you left. She sleep now."
Is she really so tired?
Michiru looked up but it was too dark in the house to see the other one's face.
Or did she catch herself a cold?
The young violinist held Haruka back shortly before the door and touched her
forehead with her right hand. The tall blonde seemed to glow so hot was her
skin.
"You have fever!" said Michiru terrified. 
And that's all my fault! I should have known that she would react this way! I
should have held her back or at least took her back in my car! She had no
jacket, only her slippers. She was out there for at least three hours in this
cold, dense rain!
"Can't be." Whispered Haruka and freed herself out of Michiru's sudden embrace.
She opened the door and stumbled in her room. For some seconds she stood next to
the cradle and watched her daughter sleep. "I haven't been ill during the past
two years and I've frozen a lot in cold rain." 
Otherwise I would have died.
Just like Hikari...
Slowly she started to strip Elza's training suit. She didn't notice that Michiru
disappeared and returned after some minutes. Haruka just finished her silent
fight with her pyjama and went slowly over to her bed. She only wanted to lay
down and sleep. She wanted this headache to end. She wanted this dizziness to
end. And she wanted to get a little bit warmer again. Slowly she crouched under
her blanket and winced as Michiru suddenly sat next to her on the mattress.
"Take this. I know it doesn't taste, but it's the medicine I always take when I
catch a cold."
Haruka saw the little bottle sparkling in the dimmed light of the room. She felt
how a soft arm helped her to sit up and without any defence she simply gulped
the bitter fluid. She didn't even feel ashamed. She was only tired, sleep was
all she wanted right now. There was no place anymore in her head for any
thoughts than the wish of sleeping. Later on she would think about all the
things Elza told her about Michiru. The same she would talk to Michiru about
Himme-chan's operation later.
"Don't worry, everything will be fine." Michiru watched how the blonde closed
her eyes and was asleep the next moment. Carefully she covered the tall girl
with the blanket. For some seconds she hesitated, before she stroke carefully
through messed hairs. "I'll take care for Himme-chan. She'll live."
It sounded like a promise.
Michiru never broke a single promise in her whole life.

***

Rough wind let her shake. Tired she opened her eyes and stiffed. This wasn't her
room any longer. This wasn't even the house any longer where she had spend the
past weeks.
Haruka frowned and her aching head seemed to explode.
Nani?
Sleepy she looked around and wrapped her arms freezing around her body. Still
she wore her pyjamas, but there was no trace of her bed. There was no trace of
anyone at all. She stood in a little park. Barefoot. The ground felt like ice.
Some rain drops fell down on her and she blinked confused.
How did I come here?
She raised her head and watched for some moments the trees around her. Coloured
leaves were flying in the icy wind. It looked almost peaceful. Almost.
Suddenly a scream broke the silence.
Nani?
Haruka jerked around and saw a shadow running through the little alleys of the
park. Where normally couples walked on the weekend. Young couples, couples with
or without children, old couples. This person was alone. And Haruka sensed that
this wasn't very good.
"Deep submerge!"
Haruka knew this phrase from somewhere. As she knew the voice.
Nani?
A girl jumped over to the tall blonde, but she didn't seem to see her. She wore
a strange school uniform and her sea green hairs moved with the quick motion.
One hand held a golden staff tight, the other one was injured. The white glove
was red and Haruka could see the pain in deep blue eyes.
Michi?
Haruka gulped as she saw the monster, or youma, as they called it, stepped out
of the tree's shadows. This time it looked more like a car. A broken car.
Slightly Haruka remembered a horror book she once read. About a car that got a
soul and tried to kill his owner's friends. But the thought was gone as a white
light flashed through the air and the girl screamed hurt.
"Michiru! Watch out!" Haruka stepped protectively before the smaller girl, but
the next lightening simply went through her body. As if she was invisible. As if
she wasn't there.
What the hell is wrong?
She heard how Michiru gasped for breath. Quickly she turned around to help her,
but all she could do was to watch helpless how the young violinist went on her
knees. Holding her still injured hand tight. A tortured expression laid on her
pale face.
I told her not to do all those bloody rehearsals. I told her to stay home and to
cure her arm!
Damned!
The monster came nearer but the smaller girl didn't look up again. She stared at
the staff that laid now in front of her in the dirt.
"Michiru! Stand up! Run!" Haruka looked from the dangerous growling monster to
her friend and back. "Get up and run away!" Suddenly the tall blonde knew that
this monster was too strong for the smaller girl. Not only because Michiru was
injured but because this monster was different from the last one. It could only
be defeated by a team.
"Shimatta! Michiru! It's going to hurt you!" shouted Haruka and tried to attack
the monster, but she went right through it, as if it wasn't there. Or as if she
wasn't there.
Shimatta!
What's going on?
What's that for a weird dream?
But somehow she knew that this wasn't a dream. It all felt so real. The wind,
the rain, the cold ground. Michiru's sobbing sounded also very real. Just like
the monster's not definable words.
At that moment the monster arrived Michiru. It raised it's arm. Michiru raised
her head and stared at it with tear filled eyes. Haruka could see the
resignation in them. Just like the fear. A fear that seemed to paralysed the
smaller girl.
"No!" screamed the blonde and started to run. She would be able to protect her.
She would be able to defend the monster. She would be able to rescue the both of
them. She didn't know how but that didn't bother her right now. She only wanted
this fight to end.
The arm which looked more like a broken car door, came down and Michiru started
to scream.
"No! Michi!"
Haruka opened her eyes, still screaming Michiru's name. For some moments she
stared confused at the picture on the wall. It showed the Fujijama's top. An
eagle was flying above.
Nani?
Haruka gulped and looked shortly around. The park was gone. Just like the
monster. Just like Michiru...
Nani?
The blonde lowered her still stretched arms and shook her head.
What a fucking nightmare!
She covered her face with her hands and took some deep breaths. Often she had
nightmares. About the destruction of the world. About her daughter's operation.
About her past. But none of those dreams had been that real. That damn real.
For some moments Haruka sat in her bed. Enjoying the darkness behind her eye
lashes. Listening to the rain drops falling against the window pane. Feeling the
sweat running down her back. She knew that she needed a shower, but she couldn't
move. Not yet. First she had to calm down herself. Alone. As always. There had
been a time when Hikari had been there to help her. When she had been there for
Hikari in return. 
Hikari was dead now.
Haruka wrapped her arms around her body and felt suddenly very cold. Now no one
would comfort her. She would never feel the comforting embrace of someone who
really liked her. Who loved her.
Embrace...
Again she felt Michiru's soft arms around her waist, felt the soft fingers
caressing her belly and the ugly scar.
>You are not here to give any advice!<
Again she saw the anger and the fear in deep blue eyes as she shouted at her the
last evening. As she hurt her.  As she simply didn't listen.
Michi...
Haruka sighed deeply and forced herself to move. She had to talk to the young
violinist today. About Hotaru's operation. About what the doctor had said. And
about the talismans. Haruka wanted to know more about the youmas and the strange
fight they had. How she should transform and why. How this strange staff could
help her to defeat such a demon. A single staff that wasn't nearly as sharp as
her dragger.
There's so much I want to tell her.
Haruka finally rose, still the blanket having wrapped around her shoulders.
Slowly she went over the bathroom to take a nice shower. Hotaru wasn't in her
cradle any longer, but Haruka didn't worry. Surely Michiru had already taken her
to feed her.
Haruka groaned as the headache increased again and looked down as something hit
her right foot. And stared for a long time at the golden staff Michiru tried to
handle her every time they were in danger. To shout at her that she should
transform. That she should fight, too. That she should become a senshi, too.
Nani?
Haruka bowed towards it and frowned. Michiru had those staffs always with her.
In her handbag or in her back bag. Or in her school bag. Wherever she walked,
those staffs were always with her. Both of them. Haruka was sure that Michiru
would never forget one of them.
Strange...
Haruka stretched her hand towards the staff and winced hard as her fingers
touched the cold metal. For a brief moment she heard a high scream. Wildly she
jerked around and for the split of a second she was again in the park. Michiru
was there, too. And she was again fighting against the youma - again without any
chance to win.
Shimatta!
But before Haruka could react, the vision was gone and she stood again in her
room. Looking out of the window, seeing the rain falling down. Hearing the wind
howling over the beach.
Shimatta!
Without thinking Haruka turned around and stumbled out of the door. Not caring
that the dizziness increased inside her mind. Her mouth was dry and she felt
sick. As sick as she hadn't felt during the past two years. Not even in the
coldest winter night she caught a cold. And now three hours in the autumn's rain
seemed to have been enough for her body.
But right now she didn't think about all those cruel moments any longer. Her
thoughts were focused on one person: Michiru.
She almost fell down the staircase but she could hold her balance. Hotaru was in
the living room as she had expected. Elza sat on the couch and watched an anime.
The little girl laid in her arms and slept deep and tight. As Haruka entered the
room with a loud crash, she raised her head and looked asking at the tall
blonde.
"Where's Michi?" asked Haruka, still holding the staff in her hands. Suddenly it
seemed to glow, but she didn't let it go. Instead she even held it tighter.
"She has a rehearsal in the opera." Elza glanced at the clock and sighed deeply.
"Normally she wanted to be home two hours ago, but I am sure it'll take some
more hours. Her conductor never gets ready."
"She isn't home?" 
Elza frowned as Haruka got even more pale. There was an expression in her dark
green eyes that made her shiver.
"Hai.... is anything wrong, Haruka?" Carefully she rocked the sleeping Hotaru in
her arms as she rose from the couch. To go over to the blonde who cursed
silently. "Everything okay, Haruka? How do you feel? You had fever the last
night."
Haruka didn't listen to her any longer. It was crazy. It was total crazy, but
Michiru was in danger. Haruka didn't know why she knew it, but the feeling was
so incredibly strong, she couldn't deny it. The vision was true. Michiru wasn't
at home, she was at the opera. There was a similar park near the opera, too.
Right at this moment she was fighting a youma she couldn't defeat.
And if I am wrong?
Haruka hesitated for a moment and stared at the warm metal in her hand.
>That's Tenô Haruka, my best friend.<
>Stop it, Ruka! You hurt me!<
>Everything will be fine.<
Does it matter if I am wrong? Then I made a clown of myself. As so often. But if
I am right...
Haruka gulped and swirled around. Running she grabbed some keys hanging near the
entrance door. She didn't notice that she still wore her pyjama. She only pulled
a jacket over her freezing body and left the home so quickly that Elza couldn't
react.
"Take care of Himme-chan. I'll be back soon!" shouted Haruka and entered the
garage in high speed. It was alike to her if that all was a big mistake. It was
alike to her if the police would call her and find out that she drove a car
illegally. Everything was alike to her but Michiru. This feeling was so damn
strong... she couldn't ignore it. Not after all the stuff she had seen during
the past weeks.
The memory of a bleeding Hikari, lying coughing on the cold ground, crashed down
at her as she grabbed for the seatbelt and started the engine. She put it far
away and concentrated on the steering wheel. It was now a long time that she
drove a car the last time. That Hikari told her how to steal a car and how to
use it. But the feeling was stronger than every doubt. Than every concern.
I won't let this happen again.
Haruka gulped as she speeded up. She had known how bad Hikari had felt during
the past weeks. She had felt how the other one froze like hell. She had sensed
that a visit at the doctor had been very important. But she hadn't heard of her
inner voice and let it happen. Let them take her away from her. Let her simply
die...
I won't lose another friend because of my stupidity.

***

I have to handle this alone.
Michiru raised her henshin determinedly, ignoring the pain in her hand. The
handkerchief was red and she hardly felt her fingers any more. The rain and the
wind seemed to blind her, but she heard the youma too well. Heard its low
growls, felt the pain flashing through her body whenever the bright light hit
her. When she hadn't been fast enough. When her own weapon hadn't been strong
enough.
"Deep submerge!" she screamed and threw the henshin to the ground. She stumbled
and went on her knees. The blue planet evolving from the golden staff could
hardly do any harm. The girl was too exhausted and she knew it. She couldn't
sleep well during the past nights and her damaged hand hurt more and more. The
youma seemed to laugh as the water planet hit it. Then it continued to attack
her. Michiru simply sat there. On the icy ground. Trying to get away, but her
body simply refused.
I have to get through this alone!
Her sister was far away to show the firm she worked for her new programme.
Haruka surely laid in her bed and slept deep and tight. She had have fever the
last night and Michiru didn't want her to become ill. She simply had no time to
care for an ill Haruka. It was already enough to take care for an ill Hotaru.
Himme-chan...
Michiru sighed deeply and screamed tortured as another lightening hit her.
Ruka...
The youma came nearer and it looked really dangerous. It was different from the
youmas they had fought the past months. This one was stronger. And more
dangerously. The other one could hurt them. Injure them. This one, Michiru
realized, could kill her.
No, I mustn't give up. They both need me!
Slowly Michiru came to her feet. They were covered with bruises now. Her hands
shook and her view blurred.
I mustn't give up!
I never gave up!
I am strong! No one can defeat me! I can handle this all alone! I need no one
else!
She raised the henshin again.
"Deep submerge!"
She had believed in those words. 8 years ago and sometimes it happened that she
took them for real again. Just like now. No, she never gave up. Not when he beat
her. Not when she ran away. Not when she got so ill and stumbled into Setsuna's
parents on the dark corridor.
She would never give up. Not now. Never!
"DEEP SUBMERGE!" she screamed it with her last power and watched how the planet
crashed towards the youma. But it couldn't destroy it. It hardly harmed it.
Damn...
Michiru saw how the arm was raised. A big, dangerous looking arm. An arm with
sharp corners and a lot of broken glass. It used to be a car's door and it could
kill her with only one wing.
No...
Michiru couldn't scream. She couldn't react. She only stared at the arm, not
able to stand up. To run away. To get the other two to defeat it. Later. Not
today. Not yet. Not now. Because that was impossible.
"Watch out!"
She heard the scream. She felt how two arms grabbed her. She felt how she was
stumbled over to the ground. She saw shortly in concerned green eyes. But still
she couldn't react.
Nani?
Michiru gulped and winced as her back touched the icy earth. A warm body laid
half over her. She needed some moments to recognize the person. 
Ruka?
What is she doing here? How does she know that I fight?
"Are you okay, Michi?" gasped Haruka and bit on her lower lip as a lightening
hit her instead of the senshi of the water. Automatically she held Michiru a
little bit tighter. Her blonde hairs were damp and hang into her forehead,
covered her face in shadows. But Michiru knew that it hurt a lot. She had felt
it, too. Just some seconds ago. Before the tall blonde appeared. Before she
brought her out of the danger. Before she protected her.
Protect me...
Michiru gulped as she felt how Haruka winced again. She didn't scream nor did
she make any other sound that would have betrayed the big pain she was in.
"Ruka..." whispered Michiru and raised her head. And saw that the youma was
again a little bit nearer. There were only some steps missing and it would have
reached them. Then it would be able to hurt them. No, not only to hurt, but to
kill them.
It will kill her first.
Michiru felt how another lightening hit the tall girl and saw how she closed her
eyes for some seconds to bear the pain.
"Ruka! Leave me! It only wants me, not you! I can handle this alone!" shouted
the senshi of the ocean and tried to save herself. 
>Leave me alone, Haru-chan. I can handle this alone.<
>That can't be your seriousness. You have fever, Hika-chan!<
>It's not the first time that I have fever.<
>That's even worse! Why didn't you tell me that you feel so sick?<
>Can you change it?<
>No, but I can be there for you?<
>You can't, Haru-chan. You can't.<
>I can, you'll see.<
Haruka pressed Michiru against her body, tried to cover her with her own body so
that the youma couldn't hit her any longer. Again she saw Haruka sitting on the
staircase of an old, abandoned house. It had rained, just like today. Hikari had
have high fever and she had coughed the whole night. Haruka had tried to warm
her. She had ignored the older girl's protests as she simply embraced her and
held her warming tight. Almost the whole night. Until the girl broke down
choking and fainted. She never woke up again. Haruka couldn't hold her promise.
She couldn't be there for her.
Haruka bit on her lower lip as the pain increased.
No, this time she wouldn't go. Maybe it was only a silly contract that bind her
to the rich girl in her arms, she would keep it. She didn't want that anything
cruel happened to her. Haruka had lost so many friends during the past years,
she had seen so many people die, it was enough.
>You aren't here to give advice.<
But she was here to protect this girl. Whatever the future might hold, Michiru
tried to give her a second chance. She would pay Himme-chan's operation and even
after their argument the evening before she cared for her. She gave her medicine
and didn't look very angry.
>Everything will be fine.<
>Ruka...<
"Forget it!" Haruka's voice was silent. "You won't be able to defeat it. And I
can't transform."
"But..."
At that moment the youma did its last attack. The broken glass sparkled in the
lamp lights around them and the rain drops looked like diamonds. Deadly
diamonds.
She'll die!
"No! Ruka!" screamed Michiru loudly and tried to kick the taller girl away who
laid over her like a shield. "No..."
She didn't know what happened next. How it happened. Suddenly the wind seemed to
become stronger. The rain was washed away. Sharp wind ripped on their clothes
and their hairs. The world seemed to end in a big explosion. All that existed
was a golden light that grew bigger and bigger. Michiru closed her burning eyes
and tried to grab Haruka's arm as the taller girl suddenly rose.
Where is she going?
She can't defend that damn youma alone!
She'll get hurt!
Maybe she'll be killed!
"Ruka!" Michiru searched for her henshin, but had to let it fall again. It was
so hot that she almost burned her fingers. "Ruka!" She opened her eyes again and
squinted. The storm was violent now. And icy. It hurt in her face. But she
fought herself to her knees. The blonde was in the centre of the storm. She was
holding the golden henshin in her hand. Wind tore at her jacket and she saw that
the tall girl only wore her pyjama under it. Then the blonde raised the
henshin.
I KNEW it! She is Sailor Uranus! Now she will transform and save us!
But Haruka didn't transform. Instead she threw the henshin away. It hit the
youma who growled even more. The wind increased just like the golden light. The
youma screamed so high that Michiru covered her ears with her hands. Then it was
gone.
From one second to the other one there was silence.
Then the rain started again to fall.
Nani?
Michiru gulped and looked surprised around. But the youma was gone. Just like
the storm and the red light. Only Haruka stood there. Simply there. Staring into
nothing. The henshin of the senshi of the wind laid on a poodle next to her
foot. Then the tall blonde went on her knees.
Shimatta!
"Are you hurt? Ruka? Say word!" Michiru was by her the next moment. She held her
as she fell. Dark green eyes shone feverish and there was no sign on the sweaty
forehead as Michiru had hoped.
"I am fine. And you?" Haruka coughed and tried to creep deeper in the warm
jacket. Her pyjama was soaked from the rain and she froze. "What happened?"
Michiru frowned. Then she turned her head and looked at the remaining of the
youma and the henshin, still lying in the mud next to them.
"You saved my life."
Haruka coughed again and simply let the dizziness control her mind.
>Thanks for being there for me, Haru-chan. Even if it's in vain.<
>Nothing is in vain, as long as you believe in it.<
>There's nothing I believe in any longer.<
>Sure you do.<
"But how?" she whispered after some moments she had looked into Michiru's pale
face and wondered if she looked if she laughed. Laughed happily.
I've never seen Hikari laughing happily.
Haruka's throat hurt more and more and she simply let Michiru help her up. 
But I want to see her laughing happily.
"I have no idea." Michiru picked up the dirty henshin and transformed back into
her normal clothes. Then she took carefully Haruka's right arm and directed her
over to the parking space. The rehearsal was already over and she knew that she
wouldn't take part at the one tomorrow. Her conductor would be very angry,
because she never cancelled a rehearsal before in her life. But it was alike to
her. There were so many things she had to think about, there was so space any
more in her mind for her conductor's silly ideas.
Shortly she looked back to the place where she had fought against the youma,
remembered the light and had to shrug helpless her shoulders.
"I really have no idea, Ruka."

***

"I can't believe that you simply took Setsuna's car!" Elza sat at the table and
gave them all a big pot of noodle soup. It was only instant noodle soup, but it
was hot and that was all what counted. Haruka and Michiru returned an hour ago.
Each of them took a warm bath and now they sat there: In two bathrobes, with
towels wrapped around their heads. They looked a little bit like people from the
Orient.
Both of them didn't give her an answer. Michiru chewed on her lower lip and
fought with her sticks while Haruka simply looked very tired in her soup. Hotaru
laid in her cradle next to them and slept deep and tight. Elza fed her two hours
ago.
"How does it come that you can drive a car, Haruka?" Elza didn't want to shut up
this time. Too often during the last months strange things happened and she
didn't get an answer from Setsuna nor Michiru. But this time she wanted to have
some answers. At least some.
"A friend learned me how to drive." Responded Haruka and her voice was very low.
She coughed again and winced freezing. The bath had been very hot but still she
was cold. Her eyes burned and her throat seemed to drive her crazy. It was soar
and slowly it got more and more difficult for her to breathe. "Aren't you able
to drive, too, Elza?"
"Hai, but I only take it for emergencies. I mean, you only wanted to fetch
Michiru up from the rehearsal! Why didn't you tell me? I would have ordered a
taxi." Elza made a depressed face and put ketchup on her roll with cheese. "I
mean, you left the house in pyjamas! That's incredibly stupid! It's almost
winter outside!"
Haruka only shrugged. She didn't want to argue with the girl. She didn't want to
talk to anyone any more. She only wanted to get in her warm bed and to sleep. 
"And your arm is hurt, Michiru! How could this happen?"
How could this happen?
How could this youma be defeated?
Michiru frowned and chewed slowly on her spoon. She already drank the soup on it
but forgot completely about it.
Where did that golden light come from?
Why hadn't Haruka been able to transform?
She was Sailor Uranus, wasn't she?
Wasn't she?
Wasn't she?
Michiru sighed deeply and shook her head. It was all so complicate. So total
complicate. How could she know that she was in danger? How could she know WHERE
she had been in danger?
"Michiru?"
Elza's impatient words brought her back to reality. She raised her head and
looked into angry sparkling eyes.
"Earth to Michiru! Is anyone at home? Hey, I want some answers! What the hell
have you done this afternoon?" she said loud, but all she earned was Michiru's
not definable look. The rich girl raised her eyebrows, then she took another
spoon of soup and fell back into her trance. 
"Fine! And I thought I would be part of that family!" shouted Elza suddenly very
angrily and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Hotaru woke up
and made a terrified sound. Just like Orpheus raised his head and growled
warning.
Michiru sighed deeply and glanced at the clock. It was already seven in the
evening.
Part of the family...
She gulped and finally rose from her chair. She didn't have much hunger, she
would eat something later. Maybe.
"Take Himme-chan to bed, Ruka. It's already late for her. I'll talk to you
later." Without waiting for Haruka's reaction, she wrapped her bathrobe tighter
around her body and left the room. She didn't have to search for Elza. Of course
she was in Setsuna's room. Sitting on the chair in front of some black screens.
Staring angrily at them. Her fits were clinched and her mouth was nothing than a
line.
"Elza?" asked Michiru and stepped behind the girl that was not only her friend,
but also just like a sister for her. She laid her hands on two shoulders and let
them there, even as Elza tried to turn away.
"Haruka and I had to talk." Lied Michiru and hated herself for doing so. But
Elza wouldn't understand. And if she would understand, she would try to help.
And she couldn't help. She wasn't a senshi, she would only bring herself in
danger. In life danger.
Michiru didn't want to harm her. She loved her like a sister and she would do
anything just to let her family stay out of that senshi - talisman stuff.
"A lot happened during the past week and Haruka and I had to talk."
Michiru could see Elza frown in the dark screen.
"It's about Himme-chan, right?" The red haired girl remembered, how Haruka had
told her so many things about the little girl the past night. Only staring in
her cacao. With a very sad expression on her pale face.
"You... you know about it?" asked Michiru, slightly worried.
"Hai, she told me about your argument yesterday and that she's very worried."
Their looks met on the dark screen's reflection and they both sighed deeply.
They both loved the little girl and only wanted her best.
"Hai, she's very worried." Sighed the young violinist finally.
Just like we all.

***

Hotaru laid in her cradle and slept like an angel. Her angel. Her little
sunshine.
Haruka bowed over the cradle and covered her daughter carefully with a soft
blanket. Then she gave her the little toy dolphin and stroke tenderly through
fluffy dark hairs.
Don't worry, Himme-chan. I am here. I won't let anything happen to you. Be sure,
you'll grow strong and wild. 
>Everything will be fine.<
Haruka wanted so badly to believe in those words. She wanted so badly to have
Michiru's optimism. But she had seen so many people die in her young life. So
many people she loved so much she couldn't hold. She tried to be there for them,
but she couldn't change destiny. They all left her.
I won't let you go, Himme-chan. I'll fight for you. So that you'll be a happy
little girl.
Haruka coughed and the whole world seemed to spin around. Her throat was sore
and her legs shook. So she went on her knees next to the cradle and watched her
daughter sleep. As she had done so many nights before in her daughter's young
life. To be sure that the little girl was still breathing. That she was still
alive. That everything was fine with her.
Everything fine?
She needs a new heart.
>Meioh Michiru's goddaughter automatically stands on top of the list.<
Godmother.
You have a godmother now, Himme-chan. You know what that means? Godmothers are
almost as bad as aunts and grandparents. They spoil you a little bit, give you
big presents and are always on your side. No matter what mistakes you will do,
they will always be there for you. To defend you against the concerned mother.
They don't give so many rules and want to raise you different.
Haruka gulped and made a face as that hurt. The longer she thought about it, the
better it sounded. Michiru as Hotaru's godmother. Of course she overreacted the
last evening as she heard something like "mother". Haruka had less fears. She
had seen so much in her young life that she wasn't easily frightened. But the
thought that someone would take away her daughter let her freak out. They all
wanted to take Himme-chan away from her: All the doctors, the nurses, the social
workers. Little Hotaru was her only family. Without her she would be all alone.
Michi as a godmother.
It sounded like somehow right...
"Ruka?"
She blinked and raised her head as she heard her new nick name. Since yesterday
Michiru seemed to have decided to use it. Haruka liked that. She never had a
real nick name and this one sounded nice.
Michiru still wore her bathrobe. She had put her hairs together in her neck, but
some strands escaped and danced in curls around her ears. Her cheeks were
slightly redden and she looked extremely beautiful.
"Hai?" whispered the tall blonde and coughed again. Her soar throat was driving
her crazy. She watched how Michiru knelt down next to her and how she rocked the
cradle carefully. Hotaru didn't react. She kept sleeping. A small smile laid on
her face and told them that she felt safe and secure.
"Gomen nasai that I didn't tell you the results earlier." Said Michiru after a
long time and bowed slightly. "It was not right, but I wanted to talk to the
doctor first. I wanted to know how big her chances really are before I talk to
you. Before I make you false hopes or before I destroy everything." Michiru
sighed deeply. "I phoned him this evening and made out an appointment on Monday
afternoon. So that he can tell you all details again. Guess we'll be soon a lot
more often at the hospital."
"And your rehearsals?"
"They can wait. Himme-chan is more important."
Haruka touched her aching head with her icy hands.
"And the money? Guess this operation will be a lot more expensive."
For a moment there was silence between them. Michiru looked from the sleeping
baby to its mother and leaned a little bit forward to look into dark green eyes.

"Do you really think I am doing this just because of the contract?" Michiru
frowned and knew the answer as she saw directly into Haruka's face. "I love this
little girl, Ruka. I love your daughter and I'll do everything in my might to
save her life. Money doesn't play a role for me. It's alike how much this
operation will cost, she has to survive it and become healthy again. Don't worry
about the money, Ruka." Michiru raised her hand and laid it on Haruka's left
shoulder. "Believe me Ruka, I do that for Himme-chan. Just trust me, okay?"
Haruka stared at her, then she looked away. Her reaction told Michiru that the
tall blonde seldom trusted anyone. Surely she had been too often hurt by someone
so that she needed her time to trust again. Michiru understood that. She needed
a long time herself, before she trusted Setsuna's parents. And even a longer
time before she called them >mommy< and >daddy<. That she called strange people
her parents. For the first time of her life.
"I couldn't transform today."
"But the youma was defeated. I have no idea how, but we could defeat it. That's
all what counts." explained young violinist and smiled encouraging. 
"If you think so..." There was doubt written all over Haruka's face and she
rocked the cradle softly. Hotaru only smacked and kept sleeping.
"Hai, I am sure that you couldn't transform, because your body still needs some
recovering from Himme-chan's birth. We simply have to be a little bit more
patient." Michiru frowned as she felt how the other girl shook under her hands.
She touched the forehead and felt how hot the tall blonde was. "You have fever."
She said and frowned even more as she heard a shaky laughter.
"No, I don't have fever. I haven't been ill during the past two years."
"Looks like the virus just waited for this chance over the past two years."
Answered Michiru and rose. "Go to bed, I'll get you some medicine. If you take
care of yourself, you'll be fine again, tomorrow."
>Hika-chan, please, take care of yourself.<
>I always do, Haru-chan. Don't worry.<
>But you have fever. It's not good to go out there when you have fever.<
>We need the money.<
>Hey, wait...<
Haruka stared for a moment at Michiru, then she nodded finally. Slowly she
changed into a fresh pyjama and crept under the warm blanket. Her bones hurt,
too, but she didn't want to admit it. She didn't want to look weak. Because it
could kill you  if you showed any weakness. She knew that too well. A weak girl
didn't survive on the street. Only a strong one. A hard one. An independent
one.
>Hi strong one...<
>You don't have to play the strong one, Haru-chan. I know how life can be.<
>Run! You aren't strong enough for him, Haru-chan!<
>Wow! You are strong enough to carry all this stuff, Haru-chan?<
She was almost asleep when Michiru returned. The light was switched off, just a
little lamp near the bed illuminated the room. Without protesting Haruka took
her medicine and wanted to close her eyes again as she felt how Michiru opened
her pyjama's top. For a moment she laid there in astonishment before she stiffed
and opened her eyes again.
"What are you doing?" she whispered and looked directly into deep blue eyes.
"That's a healing creme. It helps you to breathe better. Mommy always used it
when Sissy or I caught such a bad cold like you did." Explained the girl and
smiled friendly. Haruka winced as soft fingers touched her upper part of the
body. "Ups, it's cold, isn't it?" Michiru brought her hands together to warm up
the creme. "That's what mommy never believed. She said that medicine is never
funny. Cremes are too cold and everything you have to gulp is bitter." Michiru
giggled and brought her hand back to Haruka's body. An extremely slim body.
Haruka put on a little bit weight during the past weeks, but still she was too
slim. Haruka could see the rips under the skin. She could feel them when she
caressed tenderly over them. Haruka didn't react. She only laid there and closed
her burning eyes. Simply let her do.
It feels so damn good.
Haruka would have never given in aloud, but she liked those soft touches.
Michiru didn't only take care of her ill body, but the same time of her aching
soul. It was like caressing her. Maybe it was really only taking care of an ill
friend, but for Haruka it felt different. It felt as if she was loved again.
Really loved. The same parents did love their child. The same friends did love
their friends. The same lovers did love their soul mates.
>Don't worry, Haru-chan. There're persons out there who need you. Who will love
you with all consequences.<
She wasn't sure if she had ever heard those words, because she had been drug
addicted that time. Drug addicted, full of hate and despair and maybe a little
bit crazy. But if Hikari had really said those words, Haruka didn't believe in
them. No one would love someone like her. Not when they found out who she really
was, what she had done during long days and even longer nights. 
It feels so damn familiar...
But for this short moment, for this little dream, she wanted to believe in those
words that had sounded like a prophecy.
Michiru would never love her. Maybe she saw a friend in her, maybe for her the
contract wasn't so important, as long as Haruka really tried to transform and
fight against those youmas. Maybe she really liked Himme-chan and wanted to save
her because of the child's sake. But Haruka didn't believe that someone as smart
as Michiru would love her, no matter, what Haruka's heart tried to tell her, but
was always ignored by her mind. By her bitter memories.
Just for this few seconds she wanted to give in. She wanted to tell her that she
was loved. Still loved by someone on this cruel, bitter world. Even if it was
all a lie, for those moments it was worth it.
"Sissy always put sugar in her medicine and mommy was very angry with her. But
she was better than me. I used to spit it out when it was too bitter." Michiru's
smile deepened as Haruka smiled slightly. "Himme-chan is a brave girl, Ruka. She
takes her medicine without complaining."
Shortly Haruka opened her eyes and looked up into eyes that were as deep as the
ocean. She believed to drown in them. To swim in them. Just like a little fish.
Free and protected the same time.
"She has no other... other chance." Coughed Haruka and rubbed her burning eyes.
At that moment Michiru's hand went a little bit too low and touched her breast.
Maybe it had been an unintentional motion, but Haruka reacted before Michiru
knew what she was doing. Haruka's right hand grabbed Michiru's and held it
tight. Silently they stared at each other.
What is she doing?
Haruka felt the warm fingers in her hand and blinked as her headache even
increased. The medicine would do its job. Soon. Soon, not now.
"What are you doing?" whispered the tall blonde finally, still holding that hand
tight. Of course had liked that soft touch. Hell, she wanted so badly to be
embraced again. To be hold tight again. To be loved again. But she wanted it to
be real. Not only for an hour or a night, she wanted these feelings to last
longer. She didn't want to be used and be thrown away like rubbish afterwards.
Not again.
Michiru blinked and blushed deeply. She felt the cold hand around her fingers
and suddenly she had the strange desire to take that girl before her in her
arms. To feel her. To find comfort with her. And maybe, maybe a little bit more.
Then she saw the expression on a pale face, saw the surprise there. And the
hesitation.
Shimatta, Michiru! What do you think you are doing? She has other problems than
your damn fear of being alone! Surely she's not even interested in you!
"Gomen..." Michiru blushed even deeper and freed her hand, entwined it with her
other hand in her lap. Some strands fell over her shoulders as she bowed
slightly. "I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable." Michiru rose quickly
and it looked a little bit too hectic. Still Haruka didn't respond anything. She
only glanced at her with her feverish shimmering eyes.
"You've tried to ask me something on the schoolyard." Michiru gulped and wrapped
her bathrobe tighter around her body. "And the answer is hai. Tamara is right
when she calls me a lesbian." Shortly Michiru turned her head and looked over to
the sleeping Hotaru.
She has a daughter, Michiru!
Surely she had a boyfriend.
She's not interested in girls. 
But she has a right to know it. When she keeps arguing with Tamara she should
know that Tamara is right. She deserves to know the truth.
The truth? The whole truth?
That Sailor Uranus is your partner by the stars?
Well...
Hai, no one knows if she is really Sailor Uranus. Maybe she is just a stranger
and the real senshi of the wind is still somewhere out there.
Well...
Hotaru smacked in her dreams and Michiru gulped again.
"But don't worry, I don't attack every girl I see." The young violinist smiled,
but it looked a little bit wrong. "I really didn't want to do anything wrong."
Shimatta! What's wrong with you? You never behaved this way before!
Michiru bowed again before she turned around and opened the door.
"I wish you a good night, Haruka. Try to recover and sleep as long as you want.
Elza and I will take care for Himme-chan in the morning, okay?"
With those words Michiru left the room. Left a still silent Haruka back who
stared for another long time at the closed door.
It's just a dream. I told you, it's nothing but a dream!
The tall blonde closed her eyes and pulled the blanket over her head. To cast
out the world. Deeply she sighed.
She's a lesbian, too.
But it's clear that she doesn't want anything from me.
>Don't worry, Haru-chan. There're persons out there who need you. Who will love
you with all consequences.<
It's been a bloody lie, Hikari. No one wants someone like me.
Haruka closed her burning eyes and tried to relax, but she simply couldn't fall
asleep. Awake she laid there almost the whole night. Listening to classical
music that evolved in Michiru's room. But she wasn't playing herself. Her hand
was injured and bandaged, she wouldn't be able to play during the next week. At
least.
It's only a damn dream!
Haruka turned from one side of the bed to the other one, feeling how the fever
increased inside her body.
It's only a damn dream!
But she knew too well that she couldn't stop dreaming now.

***

She was coughing like hell. It seemed for her as if her lung would explode. Her
head seemed to be pierced by knifes and her whole body stood on fire.
Damn...
There were shadows around her bed. Voices filled the air, but she didn't
understand what they were saying. Something cold was pressed against her hot
body and she wanted to turn away. But they wouldn't let her. So she stayed,
admitting after some moments of doubt that it felt good.
Then the light was switched on. Still she didn't see a lot more. Only that there
was a strange shadow. A shadow that hurt her. Right in her right arm. Then it
was gone and the world went dark again. So pleasant dark. With a deep sigh she
feel asleep again. Feeling how someone covered her with a soft blanket and
caressed her hairs. She wanted to tell that person that she liked that touch,
but she was already asleep before she could say anything.

***

It was night when she woke again. Her head felt better and the cough seemed to
be gone. Her pyjama was sweaty but she didn't care about it. She was a little
bit hungry and needed to go to the toilette. Haruka grabbed her bathrobe and
stood up. Slightly reeling she went over the soft carpet and hesitated.
Something was wrong. Or better, someone was missing. Frowning she looked around
and had to see that Hotaru's cradle was gone. Normally they only took the cradle
down during the day, but not during the night. During the night the little girl
always slept.
Nani?
Haruka wrapped the bathrobe around her body and left her room. To go downstairs.
Still she felt incredibly dizzy, but she wanted to see her daughter. The need
was suddenly so strong, she couldn't go back to her room and change her clothes
first. She could take a shower later. Later was early enough.
What is going on?
It was dark in the house. And strangely silent. Too silent.
Are they are gone?
Haruka glanced at the watch as she stumbled downstairs. Always holding the
handrail tight. She would have never given in, but she felt incredibly
exhausted. Slightly she remembered a strange dream the past night, but forgot
about it as she entered the living room. One look and her racing heart calmed
down. One look was enough to tell her that nothing happened during the past
hours she had been asleep. 
Hotaru laid in her cradle and slept deep and tight. Always watched by a big St.
Bernhard dog who wouldn't let any stranger come nearer. Orpheus was a friendly
dog. A funny dog. A begging dog every time they ate something he liked. But he
could be really dangerous if anyone harmed his family. Haruka had seen him once
really angry, dangerously growling. She had been out for a walk. Together with
Elza. On the beach. While Haruka carried her daughter who enjoyed all the sea
birds, Elza had have Orpheus by her side. Surely the guys didn't want to harm
her, but they were getting on their nerves. One of them, their boss, tried to
get Elza as his girlfriend. She had only laughed and denied and wanted to go
away. When the guy grabbed her shoulder and wanted to hold her back, the big St.
Bernhard dog almost knocked him over. It took all of Elza's powers and orders to
hold the raging dog back. The guys ran away quickly and since that day Haruka
knew how protecting Orpheus could be and that her daughter was safe when the big
dog was around.
Michiru raised her head as she heard how the door was opened. For a moment she
looked at Haruka, then she put her English book away. She almost forgot to do
her homework, so she did it now. She had nothing else to do anyway.
"Awake, sleepy head?" she whispered and clapped on the couch's soft underground
next to her. Haruka hesitated some seconds, then she sat down. Always looking at
her sleeping daughter.
"How are you feeling?" Michiru took the blanket that laid always over the
couch's top and pulled it around Haruka. The tall girl didn't seem to freeze,
but after the past 24 hours Michiru didn't want her to become even more sick.
"Guess a truck ran over me." Grinned Haruka and sneezed. She thanked Michiru as
she handled her a handkerchief and snorted. "I am fine."
"That's good." Michiru glanced at the watch. It was around ten in the evening.
Elza already disappeared in Setsuna's room. But the young violinist was sure
that her friend wasn't going to sleep, but going to play a little bit with the
computer. She knew how to start the big one and she knew how to start the video
game. About a brave soldier killing Satan. Michiru was only thankful that Elza
put off the sound, because it sounded strange when you walked through the house,
hearing how a monster begged for its life or a skeleton felt to its bones.
"We had to call the doctor this morning." Michiru raised her hand and touched
Haruka's forehead. Still it was warm. But not as hot as it had been when Michiru
wanted to take Hotaru in the morning. To feed her and to give her new nappies.
Haruka had breathed so strangely and when she looked after her she had seen that
she had very high fever and difficulties to breathe. Michiru tried to wake her
up but Haruka only opened her eyes, but didn't react much when she talked to
her. So they called a doctor, he gave Haruka an injection and more medicine and
since then the tall blonde had slept. Michiru had looked after her twice an hour
while Elza and she took care of Hotaru.
"Really?" Haruka frowned and groaned as her headache returned. "Can't
remember."
"Oh, you didn't miss a lot." Michiru smiled. Relieved, that the taller girl
looked a little bit better. The next week Haruka would stay at home. Setsuna
wanted to return this night, so that Michiru could go to school together with
Elza tomorrow - without worrying too much about Haruka and her daughter.
"The doctor gave you some medicine and we let you sleep. That's always the best
medicine as mommy always said." Michiru leaned forward and corrected Hotaru's
blanket. Tenderly she smiled at the little girl. She still remembered how
concerned she had been when she called the doctor. Okay, Elza or Setsuna got ill
every winter, too, but Michiru knew that Haruka still had to take other medicine
and that she her body was not in the best condition to have a big cold or even a
flu.
But the doctor calmed her down. He said, some days of rest and the tall blonde
would be recovered again. 
"He said that you should stay at home for the next week." Michiru yawned
slightly and hoped that Setsuna would return soon. She wanted to go to bed, too.
Carefully the young violinist rocked the cradle. Hotaru only smacked and kept
sleeping. Haruka watched her, still sneezing. 
At that moment the door was opened. 
"That'll be Sissy." Michiru rose and yawned again. "Better you'll go to bed
again, Haruka. Your medicine is on your desktop. Don't worry about Himme-chan.
She'll sleep in my room this night so that she won't infect herself from you."
Haruka looked from her daughter up to the young violinist. Sea green hairs were
messed and there laid a sleepy expression on a slightly redden face. Michiru
would have surely disagreed, but Haruka thought that she looked beautiful this
way..
"Michiru?" Haruka felt how she blushed slightly.
"Hai?"
"Arigato. Arigato for taking care of... of us."
"No problem. That's what friends are for, right?"
Michiru's smile made her even more beautiful.

***

Tiredly Setsuna entered her room. She arrived one hour ago, but talked to her
sister during the last sixty minutes. About everything that happened the last
weekend. About the youma's attack. About the strange victory, without Sailor
Uranus. And about Haruka's cold. That she would stay home for the next days and
that Setsuna should take care of her, too. Or at least watch after her from time
to time.
Just one weekend and everything sinks in chaos.
Setsuna put her notebook down and stretched her tired body. The firm had been
delighted by her programme so that she would soon develop another one for them.
She earned good money and, what was more important for her, got the feeling that
she had done a very good job.
So Haruka defeated a youma without transforming into Sailor Uranus?
Setsuna frowned while she controlled her computers. It looked as if someone had
used one of them, but it wasn't damaged, so she simply switched it off and went
into her bathroom to change. She didn't like the dark green suit so much, but
she had to wear such expensive clothes whenever she meet someone from the firm.

Maybe Haruka isn't Sailor Uranus? Maybe Michi overreacted? Maybe she only wanted
to find the third senshi so badly that she imagined Haruka to be the senshi of
the wind?
Setsuna took a short shower and changed into her nightdress. Slowly she braided
her hairs and yawned.
But how could she defeat the youma then?
Deeply the young woman sighed and went over to her sleeping room. She would
think about this mystery tomorrow. Haruka would stay home to recover, she could
talk to her in peace. Maybe they would find a logical solution. Otherwise they
simply had to wait for the next youma to come.
Setsuna switched on the light and pulled her clothes over her armchair. Then she
went over to her bed and sat down. Deeply she yawned again and wanted to creep
under her blanket as someone appeared from the blanket's depth and embraced
her.
"Welcome home, Sissy-chan." Whispered Elza sleepily and smiled tiredly. "Come to
bed. It's pretty late."
The tall woman looked down at the red haired girl and sighed slightly.
It's only a joke. For you the whole life is a joke. You only want to tease me
around. As always.
Softly, but determinedly she pulled herself free and shook her head.
"Better not, Elza."
"But this bed is big enough for the both of us." Giggled Elza and tried to pull
Setsuna with her into the bed. "We can sneak together, so there'll be more
place."
"No." Setsuna struggled and finally rose. "Better not."
"Why?" Elza pouted and her red hairs stood in all directions. "Michi asked me to
stay here. It's okay."
It's not okay!
You only tease me around, but for me it's more than just a funny joke!
Setsuna shook her head again and stroke her plait over her right shoulder.
"I am sure that Michi meant something different." Setsuna grabbed her pillow and
searched in her wardrobe for a blanket. "If you need me, I am on the couch in
the living room!"
"But..."
"Some of your jokes are simply not funny, Elza. Not funny at all!"
Setsuna stumbled over the blanket and grabbed it angrily again.
Why does she have to do such things?
Why does she have to hurt me so much?
Because for Setsuna it wasn't a joke. Not at all.
"Just forget it, okay?" she snapped, still struggling with her blanket and her
hairs and the pillow she lost for more than one time. She didn't turn around as
Elza called her name.
"Sissy, wait!" Elza jumped out of the bed, but the door closed shortly before
her nose. "Setsuna, damn!" The red haired girl knocked at the door and sighed
deeply. "Why do you always have to run away?" Sadly Elza stared at the closed
door before she leaned against it. Tears sparkled in her eyes.
Can't you see that I am not joking?

***

It was early in the morning. Of a Monday morning. But Michiru was already awake.
She had taken a shower, eaten breakfast, fed Himme-chan and changed the little
girl's nappies. Now she sneaked in Haruka's room. Just to see if the tall blonde
was fine.
Haruka was lying under her blanket, sleeping peacefully. Her forehead was still
warm, as Michiru touched it carefully, but the tall blonde didn't have any fever
any longer. The worst was over, she would recover during the next days and be
strong enough to be there for her daughter. During the next weeks. Deciding
weeks in the little girl's life.
"Michi...?" Haruka's voice was husky as she opened sleepy her eyes.
"Hush, Ruka. Keep sleeping. I am just leaving for school." Michiru smiled and
couldn't hold back herself to caress through blonde strands. Of course she had
seen the hesitation and the doubt in deep green eyes when she touched her to
give her that healing creme, but right now she simply couldn't resist. The
feeling was too good to run her fingers through those messed hairs. "Himme-chan
is downstairs and sleeps again. Don't worry, everything is fine."
Michiru gulped as Haruka smiled and turned around to fall back into sleep.
Don't worry, we'll take care of her. And of you.
The young violinist finally turned around and left the room as quietly as she
could.
Recover soon, Ruka. So that we can heal your daughter.
Silently she closed the door and went thoughtful downstairs. To get to school.
To cancel her rehearsals and to make a new appointment with the doctor for the
early evening. She hoped that Haruka would feel better again so that she could
come with her and bring Hotaru with her.
Now those appointments would be more often. Daily as Michiru feared. Until they
would find a suitable heart for the little girl.
I hope that we'll find a heart.
Michiru gulped as she called Elza to drive her to school.
In time...

***

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