Love is a drug   von aprileagle
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                             Prolog: Empty places
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Author's note / Preface:

This story came into my mind when I searched in my CD archive and discovered a
long forgotten album there. It's "Fairyland" by De/Vision and while listening to
it this one song caught me. I listened to it over and over again and a story
evolved in my mind during the past months. 

Just as a small warning: This story won't be a fairy tale. At least not in at
beginning. That's why I am going to rate it PG 16.

Disclaimer: I don't own Haruka nor Michiru. Nor Elza Grey. I wish I would (then
I could draw as nicely as Takeuchi Naoko ^-^). But the story however is mine.

If you want to send me a message about what you thought while reading this
story, don't hesitate. You can always mail me at aprileagle@freenet.de. I'll
answer every letter (as long as my computer won't crash again O_O).

Sometimes life can be hard. Sometimes you hate your family, your friends,
yourself. Sometimes it seems as if the sun would never shine again. As if the
rain falling down so coldly would never end. As if you would be trapped in a
grey world that doesn't seem to be your world any longer.
There are different possibilities to escape this grey world: Listen to nice
music. Go to cinema and watch a funny movie. Talk to a friend or to your
parents. Try to solve your problems or at least try to live with them.
There are a lot of possibilities to escape. Good and bad ones. And dangerous
ones.
This story is about the most dangerous possibility of all.

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You can pray for me
But you cannot save my soul
Dig my grave but see
That I still can hear you moan
Think of my embrace
When you lose all hope and faith

You reach out for me
But you cannot grasp a dream
You hold on to me
Your illusion makes me real
Think of my embrace
In your drug's delusive haze

Take me to the time
Let it start again
Take me to the time
When it all began
We can fly so high
You'll never want to say good-bye

				De/Vision, "Take me to the time"

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Love is a drug
(by April Eagle)

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Prologue: Empty places

"Did you bring her to us an hour ago?"
It was past midnight. It had been a long and hard day for the nurse. As always.
The hospital where she worked was a big one. And a busy one. In one of the
dirtiest areas of Tokyo.
The nurse, her name was Rumiko, rubbed her tired eyes as she walked through the
twilight of the corridor. Actually she wanted to work in another region of the
big city. In a bigger one. They even offered her another job one year ago. But
she had seen the poor and the sick who couldn't afford a proper doctor. She had
seen all those lost souls so that she couldn't pack her bags and go away. Of
course she moved away. Everybody who could afford it, moved away. But she stayed
a nurse here at this hospital that seemed to be built at the end of the world.
The job wasn't paid were well, but her husband earned enough money. For him it
was a joke, but he tolerated it. For her it was her destiny. To help those sad
people outside the dirty streets. To be there for them when no one else was.
Just to say a comforting word when everyone else rejected them.
Them.
The scum of the earth.
Prostitutes. Pimps. Drug addicted. Children who had no parents any longer.
Orphans who ran away from the orphanages. Children who ran away from home. Wives
who ran away from their husbands.
So many lost souls.
Rumiko knew that she couldn't save them. But she could at least smile when the
world seemed to be grey for them. An endless suffering. She was there when so
many of them did their last journey, knowing that no one would mourn when they
were gone. It was easy to simply hold their hands.
Just like this time.
"Lad? Do you hear me?"
Some of them were handicapped, too. Their brains took damage from the drugs,
their bodies from the rough use. But this boy seemed to be okay. At least his
body seemed to be okay. Better than the one of his girlfriend had been. Rumiko
could see that he was thin. Too thin. As thin as they always were. It was
senseless to give them any food, they didn't eat any longer. Once the rush got
into their mind, they didn't think of anything else than the white gold that
should lead them to heaven. Often it really did. At least Rumiko prayed that
those poor souls went to heaven after they died.
His hand shook as he stroke blonde hairs out of a dirty face. A pale face. Two
eyes stared at her. They were green. Dark green. And they sparkled. Of tears the
other one wouldn't cry. Rumiko was suddenly sure that this person was incredibly
proud. Even all he might have seen, he might have experienced during his hard
time on the street, he looked incredibly proud. Like nothing could break him.
Until now.
Rumiko sighed deeply as she saw how fear flushed over his face. How he bit on
his lower lip as he saw her look. She knew that he knew. In the very instant. He
had known what for a dangerous illness his girlfriend had suffered of. He had
known that it ended deadly. Always.
"You brought her to our hospital, right?" Rumiko smiled but he didn't react. He
only stood there. Holding a bundle tight in his shaking hands. It was dirty. As
dirty as his clothes. Finally what seemed to last eternity he nodded.
"How is your name, lad?" Rumiko came nearer but still he didn't react. Didn't
crouch, didn't try to run away as so many other had done. He simply stood there.
Staring at her with his dark green eyes. If Rumiko wouldn't have seen so many
scenes like this one before she would have felt uncomfortable. 
"Hikari..." whispered the boy finally, but the nurse recognized that this wasn't
his name. It was the name of the girl he brought to hospital. A fainted girl who
definitely broke down on the street outside. It was August. In the middle of
summer. But it was a cold season this year. Often it rained and the streets were
even dirtier than usual. It was a rough time outside and Rumiko knew that autumn
and winter were going to be even harder.
"I am sorry, lad." Answered the nurse and tried to lay her hand comforting on
his shoulders, but suddenly he jerked away. Like she would hurt him with just
that simple touch. "It was too late, lad. She died ten minutes ago. The doctors
couldn't help her."
Again she stared into green eyes. Seeing understanding and knowledge there.
Suddenly she knew that he wouldn't survive the next winter. Because now he was
really alone. Alone on a big, wide world that didn't want him any more. That
probably never wanted him at all.
"I am sorry."
Rumiko gulped, but she knew that she couldn't help him. Even if she would offer
him a place to stay and food, he wouldn't accept. He didn't believe into a
second chance, as so many of the teenagers outside. He was tall, but he didn't
look like he was of age. Maybe he was sixteen, maybe seventeen. Maybe even
younger. You could hardly estimate their ages when their skin was so grey and
their bodies consumed. By drugs. The boy shook and she knew that he was drug
addicted, too. Now that he lost his girlfriend he would concentrate all his love
on the white powder. If there was still love in the dizzy mind. If there were
still other feelings left over than greed and hate. Endless hate that would
destroy them all. Sooner than later.
"It was a pneumonia, lad." The nurse finally managed to get her hand on the
shoulder and was terrified how bony it was. The dark jacket that was surely
stolen because no one on the street could afford a leather jacket, could hardly
cover the skinny body. The arms looked more like sticks. The boy before her was
hardly a living human any more. He was only a shape that was left over from the
boy he once had been. He surely had been. Years ago. Ages ago... Now there was
only this body left. Probably the soul went away a long time ago. Now only the
cover remained. Patiently waiting to go, too. One day...
"She has her peace now, lad. She's in heaven." Rumiko tried to comfort him.
Knowing that he would follow her. Sooner than later. He already trembled like
leaves in the autumn wind. Surely he needed the next potion soon. To come over
the night. A long and cold night. Now even more lonely for him than all the
nights before.
"Sure."
It sounded sarcastically. It sounded like someone who stopped believing in
heaven and God above. Who stopped believing in anything. In anything else than
drugs.
This poor soul...
"Rumiko?"
The nurse turned around as her colleague called her. The night wasn't over yet
and a lot of other patients needed their help. Here in this part of the city the
devils never slept.
"I am coming. Just gimme two more seconds, dear." She shouted over to the other
nurse and turned around again towards the boy.
"Do you want to see her for a last time?"
But she was talking to the wall. The boy was gone. Left without a trace. Not
even the exit door swung slightly as it normally did. The place where the boy
who just lost his girlfriend had stood was empty now.
Rumiko sighed deeply and turned around. To mourn never changed anything. She
learned that lesson during her time at this hospital. But to help, it could
change something. Even if it was only a drop on the hot stone. Even if she could
only rescue one life out of a million, this life was worth it.
The nurse turned around and followed her colleague to go over to a small girl
who lost her mother and now cried loudly for her. Maybe she could help her.
Maybe she could help the next patient.
To be a nurse was simply her destiny.
Just like the destiny of the boy was to die. Soon, the way he looked.
Poor souls...

***

It was a place where the sun never shone. Not even during the day. Now, in the
middle of the night, the darkness seemed to be even thicker. No one dared to
come here. No one who could go somewhere else. This was the end of the world and
the ones who had to stay here, who couldn't escape any longer knew that. This
place was the terminus of the world. The police stopped coming here. It was even
too dangerous for them. Everyone knew that this was a place where you could die.
Very easy. Hell was beautiful compared to this place.
A small light was lightened and the tiny flame of a candle brightened up the
darkness. But only for a moment. It was too weak and the wind killed it before
the person could do anything.
"Shimatta!" cursed a low voice and a shadow moved through the empty alley. Just
to recognize that it started to rain. "Great!" The person groaned deeply and
sighed worn out. Something jingled and another flame was born to a short life.
The shadow jumped over a puddle and tried to find protection under a front roof.
But there were big wholes and soon a dark leather jacket was wet, too.
"Shimatta!" The person cursed again and finally sat down in a corner where the
rain wasn't so dense. Eyes sparkled and as the person pulled the arms around a
shaking body, a silent sob could be heard. Hai, it could have been heard if
anyone would have been there to hear it.
She is dead.
The person lowered the head and short hairs hang into a dirty face. Hot tears
burned in dark green eyes but the person wasn't willing to cry. It never helped.
It wouldn't help this time either.
She is dead. Simply like that. 
Just four hours ago I held her and promised her to care for her - and now? Now
she is dead!
Simply like that.
Simply like that.
Simply like...
Simply...
The shadow moved again a little bit and wet hairs pasted in a neck as two
shaking hands reached inside the jacket's pockets and grabbed something. Plastic
crackled and for  a long time the person stared at the powder that should be
white. Now it was grey. 
Simply...
Another flame was born and this time the candle survived the first seconds. A
spoon sparkled in it's tiny light and tears shone like diamonds in tired eyes.
Simply...
I need it anyway.
The whole body trembled now and sweat run over a bony back. It let the person
shiver. Cold and heat took turns. The mouth was dry and the head hurt. As
always. The thoughts were getting slower and slower while the mind got more and
more sober. A soberness the shadow couldn't stand any longer. Because in those
seconds reality was too real. Reality was suddenly the world the person lived
in, not the dreamland with all those nice colours. Suddenly the memory of a
laughing girl, of a crying girl was there again. The memory of a dying girl,
coughing in shaking arms that couldn't hold her back in that world.
I can take more than the usual portion.
The memory hurt more than anyone could bear. More than the shadow could bear. 
I can take all we have.
Some day it would be over. It could be ended quickly. Maybe by a pimp who
wouldn't accept them any longer. Maybe by a rough winter when they didn't find
an empty house to find shelter there before the bitter cold. Maybe by one of
those mad guys who belonged to a gang and wanted to have fun with them. Yes,
they both had known how dangerous their lives were. But somehow... somehow they
had hoped that there would be a happy end for them. Some day... even if that
meant to live that hell for another month, another year. Another decade. It
would have been worth it. Their personal happy end. They would have fought hard
for it. They would have survived it... together. Only together. Never alone. As
alone as the one being left over felt right now. As alone as she never felt
before in her whole life. Not even when her parents left her. Not even when she
spent the first nights on the street before she got to know her. Not even when
she stole for the first time, tried to sell herself to total strangers. Not even
when she took those wonderful sounding pills that made her life even worse...
although she tried hard to ignore it.
I can simply take everything and dream. A last dream. Together with her.
For a moment dark green eyes closed but they couldn't outcast the cruel world
around.
Simply...
>Don't do it!<
The voice came from nowhere. And from everywhere the same time. The person
jerked around and the spoon almost escaped trembling hands. Too skilled hands to
let it really fall. Those hands would rather being hacked up than losing their
potion of life. Or death? Certainly of forget.
Nani?
>Don't do it, Haru-chan!<
The person raised her head and suddenly the pale face was covered by a golden
light. A light that didn't brighten up the dark night, but that brightened up a
tiny, an important life. Even if it had only been for some months. A time too
short...
"Hika-chan?"
Man, I am really down! I see ghosts.
There was actually a girl standing in front of the person. She wasn't dirty any
longer. Not as dirty as she had been all her life. Her dark hairs that almost
reached her hips were brushed. They weren't coloured any longer in a strange,
screaming red. Suddenly the girl looked as beautiful as she had never looked
before in her life. As healthy. When she had been still alive...
>Don't do it, Haru-chan. This is cowardly and you know that!<
"I am not a coward!" screamed the person loudly and stood up with a sudden. The
jacket fell down on the street and if there had been an observer he had seen
that the person was another girl. A very skinny girl with short blonde hairs who
was often confused to be a boy. Who didn't want to be a girl. Not after she had
seen what devils could do to little girls. Not after she got to know that the
world was crowded with them: Ugly, old devils who did not only want their souls,
but also their bodies. Who had only one goal in their ugly existence: To destroy
them.
They all did win.
A long time ago.
"I am not a coward! I survived this hell! The last thirteen months! You know
that too well, Hika-chan!" The blonde took a deep breath and more tears sparkled
in her eyes. She knew that she was insane. She was talking to a ghost! But she
didn't care any longer. They had taken everything away from her. She had fought
so hard during the past weeks. For something that might be called home. For
something that might be called love. For something that might be called peace.
Hikari took it all away with her.
I am really insane!
>It is wrong, Haru-chan. It is so damn wrong. You have your life before you.<
"Just the way YOU had your life before you? I am not blind, Hika-chan, we share
the same destiny. And be sure, I don't want to end on a dirty street, coughing
myself to death!"
>I didn't...<
"No, of course not! Because I have been there. I took you to a hospital so that
you could at least die in a bed. In a warm bed! You will get a proper funeral.
At least what the hospital calls proper. I don't want to be thrown away like
rubbish!"
I interrupted a ghost.
I am REALLY unfriendly.
And insane. Surely. It had been too much for my brain.
But this stuff is really good. That guy was right.
I shouldn't interrupt my best friend.
Even if she's dead.
I am talking to a dead! 
I am insane.
Is that good? Well, can't get worse, can it?
The blonde grinned a mad grin as she turned back to her place. As she took the
spoon again into her hand and held it carefully over the flame.
>But you are young, Haru-chan! Your whole life lies before you.<
My whole life lies here. In fragments.
"My whole life is over, Hika-chan. You know that." Answered the tall girl and
sighed deeply. Still staring at the spoon and the content that melt slowly.
>It...<
"Hell, in what for a fantasy world are you living, Hika-chan? Or were you..."
The tall girl groaned and shook her hurting head. It seemed as if some
sledgehammers wanted to destroy it. "I am long infected, too! It's pretty normal
on the street!" the blonde gulped and sighed. It sounded defeated. No, she never
gave up. She was a fighter. Whatever they did to her, however they humiliated
her, how often she fell down, she always stood up again. To show them that she
still had her pride. And her will to carry on. Together with her best friend.
But now, now it all wasn't important any longer. Now everything was over. Hikari
died and her soul died with the once so pretty girl.
Maybe it's better this way.
>NO!< The appearance stepped closer and fear sparkled in brown eyes. >No! That
can't be! We never...<
The blonde gulped again and shook her head.
"Can you remember when one of your... your guests hurt you? When he took a knife
and I could only hinder the worst? I touched your blood."
>But I told you NEVER to touch me when...<
"Shimatta! You were hurt! I can't push away the ones I love when they are hurt!"
screamed the tall girl tortured and raised her head again. Her look was covered
with tears. She froze like hell while sweat ran down her trembling body. Shadows
under her eyes let her look like a zombie.
Say it! It's your last chance!
Say what you never said when she was living!
But she's a ghost. She's only a product of my insane brain!
Is that a problem?
Does that really count?
No...
Her stomach hurt and she felt sick. Her hands trembled even more and some fluid
ran over her icy skin. Her breath formed a little cloud in front of her face.
 "I... I loved you, Hika-chan. Didn't you know that?"
It was not even a whisper. Her lips moved but the words sounded more like a
croak.
The shinning girl smiled sadly, because it was the first time that her best
friend, the always so distant, always so wild tomboy admitted her feelings so
openly. Of course she had known about the other one's feelings. Of course Hikari
had seen it in dark green eyes. But she had known that she would never be able
to give her what she wanted, what she needed. What she deserved. Hikari had
known from the beginning on that the time that was left for her had been too
less to make her best friend happy.
>Your happiness would have cost your life, Haru-chan.<
"The same does my desperation." Whispered the tall girl and turned her head
away. Finally her work was done and she searched for her injection. It was old
and she hated it. It hurt a lot, but she hadn't been in the mood to steal
anything at hospital. As she had stolen so many things before in her life.
>NO!<
The shinning girl went on her knees, but the mug on the street didn't even dirty
her white dress. The blonde gulped as she filled the injection.
She looks so beautiful.
Her hands shook as she prepared her left arm. It was skinny and covered with
tiny scars she would never get rid of again.
Once her mother said when she had been a small child, that every scar would
disappear until her wedding. But now... she would never have a wedding. She
would never find someone who would love her. There was no time left for her.
There was not even a life left for her...
Mommy...
Daddy...
As there were no parents any longer for her. They left her a long time ago. Left
her behind in a rough world that didn't like her. That didn't want her at all.
"No one needs me, Hika-chan. No one wants me." She took a deep breath and closed
her eyes as she pushed the injection into her skinny arm. It hurt incredibly but
she was willing to sustain it. She had felt worse pain in her life before. It
was tiny compared to the storm raging in her heart. In her soul.
>Haru-chan! Please!<
"There's no one here who would love me." The blonde bit on her lower lip as the
fluid ran into her arm. Into her veins. "I am rubbish, you know that." She
whispered and felt the heat growing inside her body. The tension she always had
felt. From the beginning on. From the first drugs she had taken - as pills then.
But soon she needed more. More and more. Soon she needed stronger pills and soon
she put her first injection. First only one at day, now it had been almost one
each hour.
>This is too much!< screamed the shinning girl, but her hands couldn't grab the
injection. Helpless she had to see how her best friend took everything that was
left from their last shopping tour as they called it. She had even taken
Hikari's potion as well.
Potion of power.
Potion of strength.
Potion of forget.
Potion of death...
"I'll see ya on the other side. I luv ya..." whispered the blonde and leaned her
head against the cold wall behind. Her messed hairs hang into her forehead and
her face was wetted. It wasn't sure if that was the rain's fault or if tears
were running down her cheeks. She had never cried. Never in her life. No matter
how hard, how dirty, how terrible it got. 
This was it.
She remembered one of those cartoons she had loved as child.
As child... was it really so long ago? So long ago that she sat in front of the
expensive television set and had watched those movies while her father always
read the newspapers. So long ago that her mother had been in the garden to care
for her roses she had loved so much.
That's all folks.
Hai, that's all folks. The show is over. Finally over.
She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. 
I am going home. Finally home.
To a home that had been destroyed just two years ago...
Suddenly she could feel how soft lips touched her own ones but she was already
too far away to answer the sweetest touch in her life. To answer the kiss that
meant so much. The kiss that came too late. Much too late.
Why?
The tall girl wanted to react. To feel again that comforting embrace she had
felt so often during the past months. During the past winter. During this damn
cold summer.
Why...
>Don't worry, Haru-chan. There're persons out there who need you. Who will love
you with all consequences. You are a loveable girl, Haru-chan. Just don't give
up. Fight. Do what I never could. Live! Believe me, it's worth it!<
Hikari's voice died away but she couldn't do anything to hold it back. As she
hadn't been strong enough to hold the girl back some hours earlier that night.
Every thought was gone as she saw the bright light. It looked like an explosion.
In all colours of the rainbow. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever
seen. It warmed her heart and suddenly she didn't feel alone any longer. There
was someone standing before her. Someone she didn't know. But she had the
strange feeling that she had known that person all her life.
Who are you?
She wanted to scream out loud as the firework increased. It hurt in her eyes.
Even through her eyelashes. There were planets suddenly flying around her and
she wasn't on the dirty street any longer. She flew. Deep beneath there was the
earth. And there, right beside her, there was the sun. And there... she turned
around and saw some other planets. Bigger ones. With a lot of rings.
Where am I?
There was happy laughter as the shadow came again nearer.
You are home.
The laughter got lighter and suddenly she felt warm arms around her body. 
I love you.
She frowned but wasn't able to react.
I love you, daddy.
At that moment everything went blank.

***

I shouldn't have come to this place.
She hurried down the street. Wrapping her thin jacket tighter around her
freezing body. Cursing herself that she didn't wear her winter coat. It was in
the middle of February. Only because Christmas had been warm and everyone
thought at January that spring would start earlier this year, she should have
heard what her sister told her this morning. That the sky looked like snow. That
the temperature would decrease quickly. But she didn't listen and now she was in
trouble. Not only to get a flu, but also to be attacked.
She speeded up until she almost ran. The steps behind her speeded up, too. They
belonged to four guys that didn't look very friendly. Surely they wanted her
money. She looked too rich for that region of Tokyo. Hell! She was rich! And
known. Okay, those guys probably didn't know her, they surely never heard any
classical music. But they knew how expensive her boots were and that her little
handbag contained more than just cheap lipstick or some coins for the subway.
Shimatta!
But she had to come to this place. Hell, she had often been here. In the search
of her partner. Her partner by destiny and maybe, maybe even her partner by
heart. She didn't know. She stopped to believe in love when she had been ten.
But she believed in family. Her sister told her that lesson. And she believed
that the one she was searching for, belonged to her family, too.
Shimatta!
Hai, she had been here before. She couldn't count all those times and she knew
that her sister would go insane when she knew what she did after school. What
she did after her rehearsals. What she did after her concerts. Of course her
sister wanted to come with her. To search with her for the one. To be able to
full fill their mission one day. Hopefully soon. To be free again. To stop
fighting anymore. To save the world. A world that wasn't worth to be rescued in
her eyes.
But Sissy is worth it.
And Orpheus is worth it.
And mommy.
And daddy.
So she kept searching. Of course she wanted to search together with her sister.
But every time she had that strange feeling, every time she saw how the sea got
wild again, she simply went away. She feared that her sister would need too much
time to reach her and then the feeling could be gone.
It never helped. Why should it help this time?
She sighed deeply and held her handbag tighter. Her high heels were not very
suitable for the winter and she slipped more than she walked.
A taxi.
A taxi!
She turned around but there was no yellow car around. Only some dirty ones
rushing by. Not noticing her at all. She stroked some strands of her wild, sea
green hair out of her face and wanted to cross the street as a rough hand
grabbed her and swirled her around.
"Hey, beauty! Where are you going to? So all alone?"
She made a face as she saw the unshaved, ugly face in front of her. The big guy
who was about two heads taller than her was obviously dead drunk. His breath
stunk like an opened whiskey bottle and she didn't like the cruel grin on his
violet lips.
"Don't you want to have a little bit fun, beauty? I know there a good club..."
"No! Thank you!" She tried to turn around, but he held her tighter. "Let me go!"
she screamed, suddenly filled with panic. It was already dusk, her sister would
be concerned about her. "Let me go!!!" Her scream died away as he pulled her
near and covered her mouth with his big hand. Her eyes grew wide and she tried
to reach her handbag. To get into it and to get to a special stick she always
wore with her.
You bastard!
Sailor Neptune...
But she wasn't able to reach it, because she was suddenly pushed away. The big
guy grunted and turned away. The next moment he groaned and went onto his knee.
Holding something between his knees very tight as if it hurt a lot. The other
guys, probably his friends, followed him. They had no chance. One lost a tooth,
the second one got a broken nose. They wanted to react, to fight, but there was
a shadow between them. Too fast to be caught. Too skilful to be kicked back. So
they ran away as soon as their leader could stumble again. Still groaning and
screaming for revenge... later.
"Everything okay, young lady?"
The rich girl who still held her handbag in her trembling hands raised her head
and her mouth stood open. There was another girl standing over her. Good, first
she thought about her as a boy. Her blonde hairs were extremely short for a girl
and she wore pants. You couldn't see any female outlines under the wide winter
jacket she was wearing. But her face was definitely female. It looked
unreachable but the same time soft. Dark green eyes sparkled and there was a
tiny smile on so soft looking lips.
"I..."
Blue eyes grew wide as she saw the sign glowing on the forehead. A golden sign.
A sign she knew too well. Then it was gone. From one moment to the next one.
Was it only an illusion?
Startled blue and asking green eyes met and silence evolved between them.
She looks familiar.
A car went by splashing them slightly with water. They both awoke from their
trance. The rich girl jumped on her feet and jerked back while the other one
only wiped away the dirt from her jacket.
"Arigato!" the sea green haired girl bowed deeply and grabbed the other one's
icy hand. "You helped me a lot. What's your name?"
She felt how the other girl stiffed but didn't let the soft hand go.
"I am Tenô Haruka. Always to your service, young lady." 
"My name is Meioh Michiru." Answered the rich girl and bowed again. "Really,
thank you. I am not sure if I would have defeated them so easily." Michiru heard
a gasp for breath and as she looked up she saw how Haruka went on her knees. Her
face was suddenly covered with sweat and she leaned herself against the glass of
the buss stop that was next to them.
"I shouldn't do that any more. I know that I am not that strong any longer." She
panted and closed her eyes for some moments. As she opened them again she winced
wildly, because the other girl knelt suddenly in front of her. Looking as
concerned as no one ever looked at her. Not even all those doctors, not even all
those always so friendly nurses. But they never looked concerned, they all
looked sympathetic. Sympathetic with someone like her.
She doesn't know who I am...
Michiru smiled and without thinking she raised her right hand to stroke through
sweaty strands.
Does she know who she is?
"It was a little bit exhausting to beat them all down, wasn't it? They were big
guys." Smiled Michiru and didn't want to lower her hand again. Those hairs felt
so soft, she wanted to stroke them for eternity. Green eyes watched her
suspecting. Almost fearful. Although Michiru knew suddenly that this girl was
damn proud. That she would never show any fear.
"No, it wasn't them." Smiled Haruka but it was a tired smile. "It was me." She
took a deep breath and came to her feet again. "Better you call a taxi, young
lady. You don't come from this region, right?"
"No..." Michiru took her cell phone out of her handbag and screamed silently as
she saw the message her sister sent her. Her words didn't sound very friendly.
Shimatta!
Sissy is right. I shouldn't hang around here without her.
She will be very angry with me now...
Michiru dialled a number and ordered herself a taxi. For herself and for her
rescuer. Whatever the other girl did in this region, she had to take her with
her. She was the third person of a family of four. She was the other senshi she
was looking for. She was the other one who would search with them for the
talismans.
Shimatta!
I KNOW that I shouldn't exhaust myself any longer!
Haruka opened her jacket and took a deep breath. Some kids ran by but she didn't
notice them. She only noticed herself and the small being she had to take care
of now.
"I ordered a taxi. Can I take you..." Michiru turned around and her jaw dropped
as she saw a soft smile on a pale face. As she saw how Haruka stroked over her
belly with a dreamy look on her face. Over a grown belly.
"You are pregnant?" gasped the rich girl. Haruka's green eyes darkened as she
looked up. Every emotion was gone from her face as she looked at the other girl.
As if she realized right now that she had talked to a stranger, a total stranger
over the past five minutes. That this wasn't good. Not good for her, not good
for her baby. And especially not good for Michiru.
She grew up in another world.
She lives in another world.
She would never understand mine.
Haruka knew it, but somehow it hurt. She didn't know why, but suddenly she felt
disappointed. As if she lost something important. Something she couldn't
remember of ever having owned.
"You are pregnant? HOW?" Michiru was suddenly as white as the wall. She grabbed
for a streetlight to hold balance.
Haruka didn't answer. She only closed her jacket. Still staring at Michiru. As
if she waited for the rich girl to freak out. To shout at her. Like so many
other people had done. All the past months. People who didn't understand. Who
simply didn't want to understand. That someone like her wanted to have that
child. That someone like her didn't abort it. That someone like her actually
loved it long before it was born.
She is pregnant?
But the stars tell me that she's my partner.
Is she married?
Does she have a boyfriend?
Nani!!!?!!!
At that moment a car parked and honked. Michiru looked away and saw the taxi
standing there. The taxi driver didn't feel fine in this region and showed her
to hurry up. The girl nodded and wanted to turn towards the blonde to simply
grab and to pull her with her. They had enough time to explain everything later.
Finally she found her, the third Sailor senshi. She wouldn't let her go again.
Even if it meant that the third of them would be a mother.
A mother?
At that age?
She can't be much older than me!
Michiru turned around and froze.
Because the place where Haruka had stood just a few seconds ago was empty now.

***

"Michi?"
It was dark outside the balcony. It was in the middle of a night. A beautiful
night full of stars. The moon was only a sickle and so they could see a lot of
planets. It was warm outside. May was almost over and a hot summer would follow.
The people at TV and radio told them and she believed them.
"Michi?"
The tall woman saw her little sister standing at the rim, staring up to the
sparkling universe around them.
"Go to bed, Michi. You have two concerts tomorrow."
"Hai..." the voice was husky. Not from the sleep, the tall woman knew that. She
sighed deeply and stepped behind her little sister to take her into a comforting
embracement.
"Can you feel it, Sissy?" whispered the smaller woman after a long time they
stood this way, staring up to the stars, each of them thinking their own
thoughts.
"Hai." Answered the tall woman and tears sparkled in her dark eyes. "Of
course."
Her sister sighed deeply and wind moved sea green and dark green hairs. Let them
both freeze. But they didn't want to go into their house again. To go to bed. To
sleep. To be haunted down by another terrible nightmare.
"Tonight the fourth outer senshi was born."

***

She felt incredibly exhausted. As tired as she had never felt before in her
whole life. Her whole body ached, her mind was dizzy and her thoughts like old
honey. Tough and hard. But the same time she felt happy. Incredibly happy. For
the first time for ages she felt free. It was a fantastic feeling. Having done
something that was good. That was unique. That had been her own will.
The bed was hard she was lying in and she sweat incredibly under the thick
blankets. She could hardly move because of the pain and more than one injection
was inserted in her arms. Arms that were now a little bit thicker than they had
been nine months ago. Those injections would add some more scars to her skin,
but she would be proud of those scars. Her whole life.
She was not alone in the room. There were two other women. They were older than
Haruka. Much older. They were maybe twenty eight, maybe twenty nine. Flowers
covered their beside tables. There was even a husband there, whispering
excitedly with his wife. Haruka's bedside table was empty. There was only a cup
of cold tea standing there. There was no one who would visit her. Not today.
Maybe tomorrow would come an old woman to see that she was old enough to take
care for her. That they couldn't take her away from her.
She turned her head as the door was silently opened. Her tired face brightened
up as she saw two nurses entering the room. Together with a doctor. One of the
women held a bundle in her arms.
"Tenô-san?" asked the doctor as he controlled her pulse, her eyes and her heart
beat. "How do you feel?" He knew her story, her dark past. At least what the
police and the other doctors told him. But he never said a word about it. He
only smiled at her. Visibly proud that she made it.
"Better." She answered although she felt as if a truck ran over her. But she
didn't want to tell him. She only wanted to see the bundle in the nurses' arms.
"She is very small and we have to do some more examination with her, but you may
hold her for some minutes. Is that fine with you, Tenô -san?"
All Haruka could do was to nod. Suddenly her throat was thick and her eyes
filled with tears. Tears of happiness. She gasped for breath as she felt the
bundle in her arms. The nurse smiled. She was young. Different from her older
colleague who only made a face and left the room as quick as she was allowed.
"Congratulations, Tenô-san." Said the nurse and stroked her long, blue hairs
behind her back. "She is a beautiful, little girl."
Haruka gulped and nodded again. Not able to say a word. She only looked at the
little girl. Lying there in her arms. Feeling safe and secure. Feeling loved.
Hell, how much she already loved that tiny being that changed her whole life -
to the positive!
I love you, little one.
Do you know that?
Do you know that, Himme-chan?
She gulped and for the first time she could remember tears ran down her face.
She blushed but she couldn't hold them back. She squeezed the baby carefully,
stroked with a trembling hand over fluffy dark hairs. The little girl opened
tiredly her eyes and blinked dreamily. Dark green eyes. The same eyes Haruka saw
every day when she looked into the mirror.
My little one...
"It's okay to cry." Said the nurse and smiled friendly. "She is someone special,
right?"
I wish Hika-chan would see you, Himme-chan. She would love you, too. I am sure.
Everything Haruka could do was to nod again. And to hold the tiny life in her
arms. A child so small and so weak but yet so strong to rescue her mother's
life.

***

"Whatever it takes, we need to find her!"
"Hai."
"We need her to find the talismans!"
"Hai."
"We need her to rescue the world!."
"Hai."
"We need her, because she is an outer senshi, too!"
"Hai..."
And I need her to be my soul mate...

***

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