Set Free   von hYdro_
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                                Kapitel 1: One
                                --------------


Everything was set. There was nothing that could have changed his mind anymore.
His partner would arrive soon.

"It has to be done," he mumbled to himself, as if he was the one he had to
convince. When he realized his hands were shaking, he clenched them into fists.

He was sitting in a cave entrance and had been staring out for a while. The day
was gray and cloudy but not as cold as it seemed. The rain fell in thick drops
and made the ground all wet and slippery. As if heaven knew what he was going to
do in just a few moments and already started sending tears down to earth.

He ran his fingers through his silver hair and stopped when he realized how
dirty his hands were. That sticky sap wouldn’t wash off his palms so easily.
But there was no time for that. 

Kakuzu returned just seconds after that thought. Hidan could see his partner’s
silhouette through the stormy weather. His walk was distinctive. Hard and
aggressive, almost as if he wanted to tear up the ground with his steps. 

Hidan would recognize Kakuzu among thousands just by seeing his scheme move,
he’d seen his partner’s walk enough times to tell. Mostly towards him in
anger. Or, almost as often, unsatisfied, moving away from him. After he was done
with him. Not even beating the shit out of him could let his partner’s
aggression fade. Not even that could make him happy. 

Kakuzu had hurt him many times. 

On good days Hidan only took a few blows. On bad days... let’s not talk about
the bad ones. He still had nightmares about it. These nights he mostly woke up
screaming, his heart pounding painfully against his chest and his face full of
terror.

But no matter what Kakuzu had done to him, he would always come back from death.
Always. On Kakuzu’s side, his immortality was nothing more than a curse. It
was so ironic. Like a bad joke, but nothing he could laugh at.

He couldn’t count the amount of times he’d wished he could actually die. On
the other hand, his heart ached at the thought of it. How could he ever leave
his lover?

When Kakuzu was almost close enough that he might have noticed him in the
entrance, Hidan got up and went back inside. The fire he had lit an hour ago
hadn’t lost it’s warmth yet. A pot of water was arranged over the flames,
bubbling with heat. Tea leaves floated in it while the scent of fresh mint hung
in the air.

Hidan sat down by the fire – some metres away. After an uncomfortable
experience with fire, he hated feeling the heat of flames on his skin. Since
then, he’s always made sure not to get too close.
He sipped the tea he’d poured earlier, letting the aroma wet his tongue as
heavy footsteps approached behind him.

When Kakuzu came into his life, he brought pain. Pain and pleasure, in a strange
mixture. Hidan initially liked it. In the beginning, his partner’s violent
behavior remained to some extent. After falling in love with this bastard,
things got worse. 
Hidan gave his partner everything he had. And certainly, Kakuzu took whatever he
desired. But to Hidan’s regret, it wasn't enough for him.

He had been an average guy before he met Kakuzu. As average as he could have
been as a immortal criminal. Sure, there had been some insane moments in his
life, sometimes his mind had snapped out on what so ever. But that was nothing
compared to Kakuzu who totally fucked up his mental health.

He had some serious sleep issues. It wasn’t just the nightmares he struggled
with. He couldn’t sleep more than two or three hours a night, and in addition,
he had lost his appetite a few months ago. He didn’t want to count how many
anxiety disorders Kakuzu had caused in him. 

He was a wreck.

"Where have you been?" Hidan asked the taller man while he stared into the
flames. Kakuzu sat across him, the rain dripping from his cloak, as he ignored
him with a growl.

"Is it a secret or what, you fucker?"

"It’s none of your business," Kakuzu grunted in response and stared at Hidan
with his piercing gaze, as if he was going to jump straight on him and break his
neck with a quick move of his hand.

"Calm down. Just wanted to know what we’re gonna do now," he said quietly, as
not to challenge Kakuzu’s temper until he loses himself.

They had left Akatsuki only a few days ago and Kakuzu didn’t seem to have a
plan yet. Which was unusual for him. Almost everything Kakuzu did was planned,
always well thought out. He was an intelligent man and knew very well how to use
his sharp mind.

Of course, Hidan had an idea why his partner was forced to leave Akatsuki in
such a rush. Killing another member of the organization was nothing that
would’ve been tolerated. Sure, Kakuzu had killed some of his former partners
without any serious consequences for him. But they were just newbies, no one
could remember their name or face. They were quickly replaced. But this time
Kakuzu had murdered a fully integrated member and provoked a fight in the worst
possible place. As a result, their hiding place was blown up.

Hidan wasn’t there when it happened so these were all just guesses. But he was
sure that Kakuzu was involved. Hidan had heard the explosion clearly coming from
the direction of the hideout. On his way back to see what the hell had been
going on there, Kakuzu stepped out of nowhere. He was breathing heavily and was
slightly injured, his coat dirty and splattered with blood in one spot. 

We have to go, the tanned man only said, in a way that Hidan just felt he had no
choice but to go with him.

Hidan knew Deidara was dead without needing to see his lifeless body.

During his time with Akatsuki and in his life before, he had never been
particularly emotional when it came to comrades. But that time it was different.
Hidan knew there had to be a reason for Kakuzu to start attacking Deidara. His
partner didn’t do pointless things, which means it had to have something to do
with him. Kakuzu only did unpredictable things in regards to Hidan.

Hidan thought he wouldn’t feel so guilty for being the reason for one of his
comrade’s death.

"Don’t bother yourself," Kakuzu said, now more calmly, snapping Hidan out of
his thoughts. "We have to keep our feet still a little more and just put a few
more days between us and Akatsuki. Leave it all to me."

His tea was cold by now, but he didn’t mind and drank it up. He looked over to
his partner, who was drying himself on the fire and pouring himself some tea
from the pot. The liquid steamed and Kakuzu held the mug between his hands to
warm them up.

Deidara had only wanted to help... 

Certainly Hidan didn’t want any help from anyone. And he didn’t need any of
them either. But he had to admit, that he liked chatting with the blonde. There
was no one he could talk to much, not even Kakuzu spoke to him a lot and they
spent almost every day together. His partner was never really communicative and
held back many of his thoughts. Even so far, he didn’t even say a word about
what had happened at Akatsuki back then since he didn’t give a shit about
Hidan’s opinion anyway.

So because of this, Hidan enjoyed Deidara’s company. But he had never spoken
to Deidara about him and Kakuzu, or mentioned anything that led one to believe
they were both having this kind of relationship. Of course he had cursed the old
fucker while talking with Deidara, but most of the time they had talked about
meaningless things.
Kakuzu never was around or near the hiding place while he met Deidara, Hidan had
always been sure of that. He didn’t know how Kakuzu had found out, and he
wasn’t sure why he had been hiding it from him in the first place.

I am so stupid, he blamed himself. It’s almost as if Kakuzu’s paranoia had
already spread to him, and he had voluntarily allowed it. He should actually get
back to his own thoughts and not always think about what Kakuzu might be
thinking.

Once, after one of those bad days mentioned earlier, Hidan had told Deidara that
he no longer knew if he could continue being in the same team as Kakuzu. He had
thought about leaving that old fucker and had been looking for a way to do so
without being torn apart by him. 
Hidan didn’t know exactly, but he suspects Deidara had to be killed because he
hinted something like that to the blonde guy.

That, or Kakuzu simply did not tolerate the chats Hidan used to have with
Deidara.

As the taller man took a few sips from his tea, Hidan suppressed the urge to
jump over to him and knock the mug out of his hand.

"You're shaking," Kakuzu stated with his dark voice after he drank. "What's up
with you?" 

Fuck.

"Nothing," Hidan answered way too quickly. He felt his heart pounding under
Kakuzu’s suspicious gaze. He tried fading out everything at the attempt of
just concentrating on how much he hated that old bastard.

Not yet. He can’t screw it up yet. It wasn’t enough yet.

Images manifested in front of his inner eyes. Pictures of how badly Kakuzu had
treated him. How bad the bad days could get. He always knew Kakuzu was a violent
asshole, but he had never imagined how horrible his nature really was. Hidan
couldn’t remember how exactly it had started the first time he had felt it
firsthand. 

They were having a fight and were at each other’s throat, as always.

Hidan couldn’t say what he’d said or done to his partner to freak him out
like that. Something must have clicked in Kakuzu’s mind, more than usual,
before Hidan found himself on the floor after being hit. 

✖

He cursed and yelled at his dick partner, provoking him to punch him even
harder. But his mouth was shot silent when Kakuzu started doing something with
his foot. Hidan couldn’t see what the other one was doing, he was lying on his
stomach and his partner was behind him. He just felt a stab of pain shoot
through his leg and how his body shook. He let out a breathless groan and when
he thought his partner had parted off his foot, the next pain came.

Kakuzu was going to do exactly what he had feared but unfortunately not in one
clean cut.

After that torture and endless moments of pain and shock while Kakuzu had
chopped off his damn foot like it was a tree, Hidan thought it was over. He had
felt every hit in his bones, through his body to his head. He gasped heavily,
his clothes were sweaty and his vision blurred for a moment.

"I’m not done yet." Kakuzu growled in a dark tone, making his intentions clear
and that he was only pausing because he didn’t want to let him pass out.

His partner didn’t give him the chance to even open his mouth and hiss at him
when his head was pulled back painfully by the hair. Before Hidan could even
think what the hell was going on, something was slowly pushed into his right
ear. 
It was thin and cold and almost fit his ear canal. Hidan let out a short and
irritated cry after the needle, or whatever the fuck Kakuzu had just stuck in
his ear, reached his eardrum, but was so deep that it felt like it was poking
his brain. 
His sensitive skin was ripping up as Kakuzu moved the needle in quick harsh
waves with his hand. Hidan heard a terrifying scratching sound while his eardrum
was actually really scratched out and got damaged till he couldn’t hear
anything there. He gritted his teeth as hard as he could, not willingly to let
out any more noises. 

That fucker would only get hard from it.

The unbearable pain had brought burning tears into his eyes before the needle
was finally withdrawn. A spurt of blood followed, dripping down from his ear in
warm streams.
He had trouble breathing normally and moments later his head was turned gently.
An unexpectedly soft touch on his cheek caused him to open his eyes, which he
had been closing tightly until then. 

Kakuzu’s face was in front of his and only got closer when his partner stared
at him with those green eyes that showed no sign of compassion.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Hidan whispered, his voice almost cracked.

Why did he have to suffer under this bastard? Why was he always the one to
endure Kakuzu’s anger? And why couldn’t he just leave that dick for fucks
sake?

Kakuzu twisted his head slightly which first seemed as if he didn’t understand
the question correctly.

"Because you deserve it," he replied with a deep growl, as though Hidan should
already have known that by now.

✖

"You clearly don’t act like there is nothing," Kakuzu snorted and narrowed his
eyes on him. "You can’t fool me, I’m not dumb. You’re hiding or holding
back something. So you better spit it out. Now."  

Damn, this bastard just knew him too well.

Hidan gave a scornful laugh and shook his head, trying to behave normal, which
would hopefully show Kakuzu that he was wrong. He was nervous as hell, avoided
Kakuzu’s gaze and didn’t know what to say. His chest tightened. If he
didn’t manage to dissuade Kakuzu from his suspicion, it would be over.

If too much time passed, this would be no good... It wasn’t enough yet, Kakuzu
had to drink a few more sips.

"Bloody hell!" Hidan shouted as his chest felt like it was about to burst. "You
bastard want me to say out loud so necessarily that I’m cold and tired? I
worked my ass off here, brought water and had to find dry wood for the damn fire
I lit while you were running your one-man-show out there and doing whatever you
were doing the whole time. We’ve been running through that fucking land for
days without a destination and it’s raining all the time, it pisses me off!
And now you come back and put your ass by MY fire and pretend I’m your shitty
slave. So shut up, old man. I just want to have a rest, so leave me alone with
your annoying questions. There you have it! Are you satisfied now?" 

Fortunately, Hidan didn’t even have to think up a lie. Everything he said was
true. Otherwise, Kakuzu probably wouldn’t have believed him anyway. His
partner had this dangerous ability to sense lies.

"I see. So you’re unhappy with the situation we’re in. Or is it just a bad
mood? You said you were cold, want me to warm you up?"

"Huh?" Hidan led out an unintelligent noise.

"You only complain that much when you’re needy."

"What the fuck!?" Hidan snorted angrily.

"Don't give me that attitude. You’re the one that obviously needs it. I’m
only offering my help." That bastard smirked at him like neither of them knew
who was the pervert here. 

"Yeah of course! First time you brought it up like that. Usually you just stick
your cock in as you please."

"So I assume you like it better that way, then."

"I didn’t say that! Don’t twist my words you perverted prick." He mumbled
and narrowed his eyes at his partner. 

Kakuzu was only unpredictable in a few areas of life and perfectly safe when it
came to sex. It was like opening a gift. With Kakuzu, you never knew what you
would get. Over all, they had very rough sex. Kakuzu often attacked him out of
nowhere, without giving any sign what he was on about. One moment they sat there
in silence, hanging on their own thoughts, the other his partner was all over
him, smashing him onto the ground and barely allowing himself to be stopped,
even if Hidan wasn’t in the mood.

His partner hardly took a No.

Kakuzu only focused on his own pleasure, of course. It were Hidan’s reactions
that turned his partner on the most. It didn’t matter whether they were caused
by pain or arousal. 
He had to admit that somehow Kakuzu’s dominance turned him on. In addition, he
wasn’t squeamish and could handle it as soon as Kakuzu got a little rough.
Which didn’t mean that he would endure everything. 

Even though Hidan knew that Kakuzu would never let him have the upper hand when
fucking, Kakuzu for sure hated it when Hidan would be lying there lifelessly. So
Hidan used this knowledge and tried winning Kakuzu over with it. 
As soon as it would become too much for him or when he would feel his arousal
drained from the pain, he forced himself to remain motionless. It worked very
well this way. Without realizing, Kakuzu always changed his treatment. Instead
of causing Hidan more pain, he focused more on his lust, only to tease a
reaction out of him again. 

His partner wasn’t always like that. There were some rare moments in which
Kakuzu was actually gentle with him. It mostly happened after he hurt him very
badly. Almost as if his soft touches were meant to be an apology for what he had
done before. Or it was just cruel mockery. 
But Hidan also remembered a kiss or two they had shared that had felt different
to him. He couldn’t say exactly what had made them different. They rarely ever
shared such things as kisses anyway, maybe he was just imagining things. All he
knew was that Kakuzu had a soft facet he just didn’t want to show.

And now that Hidan thought about it again, it was even harder to stay still and
to do nothing while he watched Kakuzu drinking his cup empty.

There was no way back now. 

It was the right thing. It was Kakuzu’s own fault that things turned out this
way anyway.

Now there should be more than enough in Kakuzu’s blood flow. Hidan didn’t
know the drug well enough to say what exactly was happening to Kakuzu now. He
was only told how much would be enough for one man, so he multiplied that by
five before mixing it into the pot of tea. But only after he had poured himself
a cup, of course.

Hidan was surprised by how quickly the drug worked, as his partner didn’t seem
to look that well after quite a short time. Kakuzu was silent and tensely stared
into the flames. He must have noticed something was wrong with him, but didn’t
want to make a thing out of it. After some more time, his partner was sweating
and breathing heavily, he didn’t seem to be in full control over his body
anymore.

He staggered, his cup fell from his trembling hands as he suddenly gasped for
air. He could barely keep himself up and had to support himself. He let his gaze
wander around unfocused, looking for an explanation for his condition. Hidan’s
heart skipped a beat as Kakuzu’s eyes stopped by the pot of tea.

"You?" Kakuzu gasped in disbelief as he looked directly at Hidan. "What have you
done to me?" he growled in a low voice and narrowed his eyes on him. His anger
overwhelmed him and he managed to get up even though he was shaking.  

Hidan swallowed hard and backed away to avoid Kakuzu’s attack. His partner had
his hands out for his throat but fell face first to the ground before he could
reach him. Although the poison in Kakuzu’s body weakened him, it didn’t mean
he couldn’t get dangerous anymore.  

Hidan looked down at Kakuzu, who lay there for a few moments without moving. His
face was turned away from him so he couldn’t see his partner’s expression.
When Hidan thought he had given up, Kakuzu suddenly grabbed his foot. Out of
nowhere, he pulled him down to climb onto him, his gaze fixed on him in pure
hatred.

"You piece of shit! You will pay for that!"

Hidan panicked and tried to free himself from Kakuzu’s iron grip, to no avail.
His partner’s weight pinned him to the ground and he gasped when he felt
Kakuzu’s hands around his neck. His throat was strangled tightly and it was
difficult for him to breathe normally.

However, as much as he hated when Kakuzu treated him like that, he hardly ever
thought of fighting back. Things only got worse when he did, and ironically, no
matter how much Kakuzu hurt him, he didn’t like the thought of hurting Kakuzu.
Sometimes he hated himself for that. 

Because it meant that he had consciously chosen the path of silent suffering. 

Kakuzu’s grip tightened a bit and Hidan closed his eyes in agony. His throat
must have already been covered with bruises and marks, but the heavy body on top
of him made escaping impossible.

"Answer me! What did you put in my drink?"

He felt his partner’s warm breath on his face and shuddered. He would have
laughed out loud if he just could have. How the fuck was he supposed to answer
when he was being choked?!

Hidan stayed silent, just hoping that Kakuzu didn’t have enough strength to
torment him too much.

When he felt Kakuzu’s grip on his throat loosen, as well as the tenseness of
the body on him ease, he dared to open his eyes. His partner looked horrible,
his tanned skin was already pale and he seemed to be in pain by now. He was
panting heavily, his face an expression of agony. His eyes were cloudy and
stared into nothing. Hidan felt the weight growing heavier on him as he was
almost buried beneath the tall man.

Kakuzu didn’t seem to care anymore as Hidan carefully freed himself from the
heavy body and managed to crawl away from his partner before he almost collapsed
on top of him.

Hidan raised a hand to his neck where he could still feel Kakuzu’s iron grip
and took a few deep breaths.

"I never thought you...," Kakuzu muttered, causing Hidan to look up again.

His partner, meanwhile, had curled up into an embryonic position. He didn’t
move anymore and had his eyes closed. His whole body trembled intermittently.
Overall, he gave a pitiful picture. Which made Hidan wonder if what he was doing
was right. He himself was shaking by the adrenaline coursing through his veins.


When Kakuzu let out a groan of pain, he collapsed onto the cold ground and
remained motionless. It took a few moments before he slowly raised his eyelids
again. 

"You killed me," he stated and Hidan assumed one of his hearts had stopped
beating. 

When Kakuzu tried to get up slowly, he failed and fell back to the ground. Maybe
he thought he would feel better now, but didn’t. It was almost unbearable for
Hidan to have to sit and watch Kakuzu slowly realize that this wasn’t over
yet. He wouldn’t feel any better. This wasn’t a stupid joke or at least some
kind of warning shot. 
Hidans heart ached as he saw the expression on Kakuzu’s face like he never saw
this coming. As if he didn’t want to believe that Hidan had just stabbed him
in the back. 

"It wont stop. You are serious, aren’t you?"

Hidan stayed silent. His throat was so dry he couldn’t get a word out even if
he wanted to.
Kakuzu understood without Hidan having to say anything. As he did so, a strange
composure came over him before he closed his eyes in resignation.

Hidan had never seen his partner like this before. Almost. Once, after one of
those bad days mentioned earlier, he behaved almost the same way. Of course,
Hidan had witnessed many of Kakuzu’s different moods. After such a long time
as a team, they knew each other quite well. But Hidan only remembered one moment
when Kakuzu gave in on something. 

✖

Kakuzu held his word. He wasn’t done with him yet. 

Hidan groaned in pain when his partner finally pulled the needle out of his
other ear. He couldn’t hear anything now. He was completely deaf, which was
even more frightening for him since he couldn’t prepare for what Kakuzu was
about to do to him next. He could no longer locate his presence as long as he
was not in his line of sight.

He made the most of his time while Kakuzu left him in the dirt and took a deep
breath. The next moment he felt Kakuzu’s hand in his hair and was pulled back
again. His scalp hurt as he was dragged across the ground. He tried to hold on
to something but couldn’t find anything that would have helped. Just dirt and
grass that gave right in when he grabbed hold of it. 
Finally he was turned to face Kakuzu at the fire, which they had been sitting at
earlier. Hidan wasn’t entirely sure because his partner was wearing his mask,
but he assumed Kakuzu was saying something to him, which of course he couldn’t
hear.

Kakuzu’s grip on his hair tightened as Hidan’s head was pushed closer and
closer to the fire. 

"You fucking bastard!" Hidan said, hopefully pronouncing it correctly because it
was a little disorienting being locked inside this shitty silent movie. At the
latest when he felt the warmth of the flames on his face, there was no longer
any doubt as to what Kakuzu was up to.

"No! Not this! Please!" 

He tried to break free, resist or at least turn away, but as always, Kakuzu was
too strong. He didn’t stand a chance, especially with those wounds. He was so
weak he hardly had enough energy left not to fall over straight away. How was he
supposed to hold his own against this fucker?

On top of that, his body was in shock. Kakuzu had never done things this
horrible to him before.

The fire crackled and Hidan felt his skin burn. It didn’t really burn, but the
heat and the brightness made him close his eyes. As his eyelashes and eyebrows
began to singe, a suppressed whimper escaped him.
He tried to think of something else to get through this, but panicked when he
smelled the sickening stench of burned skin. Without thinking, he widened his
eyes only to immediately close them again. 

He gritted his teeth and salvia dribbled from his mouth as he tried to just take
the pain and not go insane. The flames consumed the right side of his face and
it stank like hell, making him sick. It hurt so bad it was worse than his foot
chopped off.

When the fire had eaten his eyelid and was now reaching his eyeball, he
couldn’t hold back and screamed. His flesh was burning like he was a fucking
candle. 

Luckily this was all too much and he lost consciousness. 

The next time he woke up, he was leaning against a tree. There couldn’t have
been much time in between him passing and waking because his whole body still
hurt like hell. But his ability to heal had already started to work, he felt his
wounds on his face itching where he had been burned so badly.
When he opened his eyes, he could only see with his left one, on the right side
was just a black spot. He was grateful he couldn’t see himself, his wounds
must have looked terrible.

Feeling something on his leg, he looked down only to see Kakuzu sewing his foot
back on. Hidan stiffened when the tall man noticed he was awake and was looking
up at him. His guts churned as the piercing gaze hit him.

Oh Jashin. Please let it be over.

When Kakuzu came closer and reached out a hand, Hidan flinched in fear. He
turned his head away and shut his eye tightly, not wanting to face that sucker
who would continue his cruel show of tearing him apart. His muscles spasmed in
anticipation but nothing happened. When he dared to see what was going on, he
noticed that Kakuzu had frozen in his tracks, his hand just inches away from
Hidan’s face.

Hidan relaxed slightly when Kakuzu lowered his hand without saying anything.

It didn’t seem like his partner intended to torture him any more, for which
Hidan was genuinely grateful. But it didn’t made things better. For Hidan, the
question of why Kakuzu had done this to him burned almost as much in his mind as
the flames on his face had before.

He hadn’t given him any reason to treat him like that. 

"Why did you do that to me?" Hidan asked again and just realized that his left
ear had healed enough to hear again. Not that good yet, everything still sounded
a bit muffled, but at least he was aware of what was going on around him. 

"Because I don’t want to always think about you and your damn face." Kakuzu
growled. His eyes widened slightly when Hidan made a surprised face.

"You could hear that. Your ears are already healed, right?"

There was no need to answer that and Kakuzu didn’t look happy about it anyway.
It seemed like this wasn’t something he really wanted to share with Hidan.

At first, Hidan could clearly see his partner’s anger growing at this. And
when he thought it was only a matter of time before Kakuzu would lose his temper
again, he was taught otherwise. 

His partner just got up and left. Without a single word.

Hidan was left alone. And after that, he didn’t see him for days.

✖

As if their roles had been reversed, it was now Kakuzu who lay there and
suffered in silence. Hidan stared at his partner’s back, frozen in place as he
fought a strange urge to explain his actions. He should be happy or at least
relieved that everything went as planned. 

But he couldn’t stop thinking that maybe he wasn’t the only one trapped in
their unhealthy relationship. 

"You... you deserve this. It’s your own fault," Hidan said but somehow it
sounded like he was the one he was trying to convince. Again. But what choice
would he have had left?

His partner didn’t react to it, ignored him or just wasn’t able to do
anything but lie there. Hidan’s heart pounded hard before he could contain
himself no longer. What kind of lover was he not to stand by the most important
person in his life while he was dying. No matter what Kakuzu had done to him.

"Leave me alone," Kakuzu said in a low voice as Hidan approached him. "You...
have done enough." 

"No," Hidan simply replied. He came around to look at his partner. Kakuzu had
his eyes closed and was panting heavily. When Hidan tried to touch his shoulder,
he shook it off and curled up even tighter.

"I don’t want you near me anymore."

"Don’t give me that shit. I’m not going to let you go through this all
alone."

Trying to make it as comfortable as much for him, Hidan placed Kakuzu’s head
on his lap, although his partner still didn’t seem entirely okay with it. But
in the end, Kakuzu didn’t have the energy to argue with him and just let him
do.

So they remained silent and waited for it to be over. 

After a short time, Hidan released his partner from his veils and headband.
Somehow he didn’t want Kakuzu to die in his ninja outfit he did all those
horrible things in. Kakuzu had already taken off his mask while drinking
earlier, and as Hidan looked down at him, it occurred to him that this might be
the last time he would have the chance to talk to him.
 
But all he could do was to run his fingers through the brown hair while Kakuzu
trembled and just died for the second time. The third time, his partner seemed
to have accepted his help, leaning towards him and holding onto him with one
hand in a silent request for assistance. After the fourth time, Hidan suddenly
hoped that he hadn’t put enough in the teapot. Or that, maybe, he had
underestimated Kakuzu’s sheer physical strength and the latter would just get
trough this without actually dying.

But after Kakuzu’s next words he knew that wasn’t a thing.

"I love you. You know that?"

Hidan was silent for a moment, just looking down at Kakuzu, who still had his
eyes closed. Hidan never thought Kakuzu would ever say it and while it was hard
to tell, he had always known how his partner felt about him.

"Yeah. I love you too."

He did. Damn, he really did. Although he had suffered from this bastard, his
feelings for him were always stronger than the desire to leave him. The one
thing Hidan just could never understand was why his partner had those
aggressions and why he had to be the one to serve. 

"But this had to be ended. I can’t take it anymore." Hidan whispered, gently
touching Kakuzu’s cheek when he started trembling again. The heavy body tensed
when Hidan placed his other hand on his partner’s chest. Hidan felt Kakuzus
last heart pounding at an erratic beat, fighting it’s final battle. 

"There is no world in which… the two of us would have lived a happy life
together. So that’s just the inevitable outcome I guess."

Hidan didn’t know what to respond. All he knew was that Kakuzu was right. As
much as he wanted to, he couldn’t imagine a picture of Kakuzu and himself
living happily together.

His vision blurred as he thought about how damn cursed they were. 

"Don’t cry," Kakuzu said in a low voice while his breathing slowed. Silent
tears had trickled down onto his partner’s face, the emerald eyes half open
and looking up at him wearily. 

"Don’t you dare regret it already. Living with such things only destroys you,
I can tell that. I wish I could forgive you to make it easier for you... but I
can’t." Kakuzu said slowly before closing his eyes again. His head fell to the
side as Hidan felt the heartbeat weakening beneath his palm. 

"I shouldn’t have trusted you," It was no more than a whisper and moments
later Hidan just felt the heart stopping. It caused even more tears to build up
in Hidan, but this time something inside him broke and he sobbed loudly. 

"You’re free now. We both are." 

They truly were. And he had never felt so lonely in his life.

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