Letters of Apology and Farewell   von Annaleinchen
                       (Shuji/Akira - Nobuta wo Produce)
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                           Kapitel 4: Getting Close
                           ------------------------


Chapter 04 : Getting Close
The Sun was going down, making the ocean look like it would consist out of
millions of diamonds. The view was beautiful and it always made Akira think back
to his 2nd year in high school back in Tokyo. It was not that long ago. Just 2
years but in these 2 years a lot had happened. He thought back to this fateful
day when he was crying on the roof of his school during lunch break. Crying his
heart out because of his one-sided love. His love towards his now best friend.
Yeah, a lot had happened. 

After that day a deep friendship had been build between them. At first they
didn't want others to know about them - god, that sounded like a forbidden love
affair - but then they meet Nobuko. The silent, shy girl made them realize that
it wasn't good to act like you were somebody else in front of others.  It just
lead to big problems. Problems and distrust. Like Shuji had to experience when
their other classmates found out that he broke up with his girlfriend. Akira
couldn't understand why he did it because Shuji never mentioned the reason why
he took that step. But deep inside Akira was happy that he did what he did
because now he didn't have to worry about some girl clinging at his best friend
and still secret love. The brunette smiles slightly at this thought. He knew it
was not nice to think that way but he couldn't bring himself to stop doing it.
Of course he had to admit that he was a bit jealous but at the same time he knew
that he had no reason to be so. He was with his belove d Shuji and even when the
other girls in class tried to get his attention or kept asking him out he
flatout refused, always saying that there was already a special person his heart
belonged to and Akira was literaly dying to find out who this special person
was. But again regardless of how often he asked Shuji the other boy stayed
silent and kept his seemingly most hidden secret. 

The young teen signed and let himself fall back into the soft sand he was
sitting on. The sun had already gone down and the first stars started to appear
on the dark blue sky. He crossed his arms behind his head and looked up to the
letting his thoughts wander back to the day where Nobuta told him to follow
Shuji. Akira didn't know that the girl had found out about his feelings long ago
and already knew to whom they were directed to. But she kept silent until that
fateful day where Shuji told his class that he had to move to Hokkaido because
of his dad. Everyone could see how hard it was for Shuji to tell them and not
just turn around and run out of the classroom. He held is back so tightly that
his knuckles could clearly been seen. Akira hated his classmates for being so
ignorant towards Shujis situations and his feelings. He always tried hard not to
disappoint their imaginations even though he knew that it was wrong. But at the
end they all could see what they did to the poor boy and said goodbye to him
when he was already on his way to his new home. And exactly that was the moment
where Nobuta told him to follow his own heart. To follow his first friend and
love and stay with him. It was just natural that Akira was deeply shocked that
she knew about his most hidden secret but at the same time he was  relived that
there at least was somebody he could talk to and who wouldn't judge him. And of
course Akira being himself he followed Shuji and went the entire way to
Hokkaido, transferred into his school and even managed it to arrive a day before
him to give the other boy the biggest surprise in his life. 

The laying boy chuckled as he remembered the expression on Shujis face when he
noticed Akira standing in the back of the classroom, leaning against the window
frame, giving him his infamous "kon"-gesture while smiling softly. His eyes
started to sparkle at the thought of them fooling around at the beach he was
currently laying on, laughing and even jumping into the water fully clothed. At
that moment he knew that he had done the right thing and the next day he send
Nobuko a message thanking her over and over again for making him follow Shuji. 

He stopped his thoughts when he heard the approaching steps in the sand behind
him. "Oi, what are you doing? You'll catch a cold when you stay there for too
long and you don't want that, don't you? I mean....Vacation just started and it
would be a shame if you had to stay in bed for the entire 14 days.", Shuji spoke
softly while letting himself fall next to the boy who was now watching him
closely. Akira went back to watching the stars. After a few moments he answered:
"Of course I don't want to get sick but I just somehow forgot that I was only
wearing a t-shirt and it's just a beautiful night. Don't you think so, too? I
mean, look at the stars. They are shining so brightly tonight. I just couldn't
leave. They somehow made me think about what happened 2 years ago. It made me
realise something." Surprised Shuji turned his head towards his best friend.
"What? And what did you realise?" This truely caught his interrest. It wasn't an
everyday event that Akira, the normally hyper, everytime-happy and always
smiling boy had such deep thoughts that he forgot that he still was only clad in
a t-shirt. The brunette chuckled lightly and said in a low voice: "I realised
that....I did the right thing when I followed my heart and went here to be with
you......Shuji-kun." Akira turned his head so that he was now looking directly
into Shujis eyes which were slightly widened. "Uhm....huh?...."m the confusion
clearly showed on Shuji's face, "Wha...What do you mean? You're
saying....strange stuff Akira-kun. Did the "romantic" mood get you?" It was more
than clear that Shuji was embarrassed and didn't know what to say but he tried
to cover it up with a joke....and of course...it didn't work. 

Akira just smiled at the other boys attempt to hide the his blushing cheeks with
turning his gaze towards ne now black ocean. He sat up and crossed his legs,
never letting his eyes lose contact with the other one's face. 'I have to tell
him now. If not now then never. We've been far too close for him to just throw
away our friendship. Not that he would ever do that. I just know it.
Besides....hope isn't lost, yet. Maybe....', Akira thought. Collecting every bit
of his courage he lifted his right hand and gently placed it on the heated cheek
of the other boy. The contact of the slightly cold hand made Shuji jump a little
but he refused to look at Akira. Instead he fixed his gaze on the water.
"...Shuji-kun?....Would you look at me?....", Akira tried not to be so obviously
nervous but it could be heard in his voice that he just wanted to get up and run
away...far away. There was a thick silence between the two 2nd year college
students until Akira tried again. "...Shuji....please....", he pleaded. The
begging sound of the brunettes voice finally showed it's effect and Shuji slowly
turned around to face Akira. At first he was hesitant but then he looked
directly into the deep eyes of the one in front of him. "Akira....I....don't
know wha-", Shuji was cut of when Akira started to shake his head. "Shhh Shuji.
Let me tell you this now or I won't be able to do so in my entire life. Please.
Just listen to what I have to say and when I'm finished you can tell me what you
think, ok?", said Akira. Shuji started to get more confused at this. Akira
sounded deadly serious. It must be something really important that he wanted him
to know. He understood how much it meant to Akira therefore he stayed silent and
just nodded his head approvingly, showing the other boy that he wouldn't say
anything till he was finished. Smiling at the respond of Shuji, Akira closed his
eyes for a second and took a deep breath before he started to talk.

"Well, Shuji, you know that I've never been one to show my emotions freely in
front of others. I'm sure that you still remember the day we started to be
friends. The day I sat on the roof of the school, crying my eyes out. God, I was
deeply shocked that I wasn't alone there at that day, but I'm happy that it
happened, because...otherwise I don't think we would have become friends....",
he paused and Shuji smiled a bit and gave a short nod for Akira to continue,
"....you know....I wanted to be friends with you long before we ended up in the
same class...a happy coincidence may I say...but I never dared to talk to you. I
always was a "lonely wolf" and the other kids never talked to me unless they had
to, ok, it was quite fine with me because I never wanted to talk to people like
them but then....I met you. I saw you a few times in 1st year of high school but
you were always talking to your friends and I haven't had enough courage to walk
up to you and talk to you. You can't imagine how happy I was when we ended up in
the same class.... ." At this Akira let his gaze wander off to the horizon. He
sighed dropped his right hand into the sand and softly continued his little
speech. "I was stunned when our look met. I felt like I was drowning in you
eyes. I can't remember to have ever seen such deep and emotion filled eyes
before. And somehow ... I knew that there was something deep inside of me that I
had missed for my whole life....Something I always wanted but never was able to
get. Do you know what I mean?", Akira turned around to look at Shuji but Shuji
could only shake his head slightly so the brunette continued softly, "....love.
I never experienced something like love in my entire life. Regardless if it was
of the amicable way or the romantic one. Even my parents never showed me that
they loved me. I was already as far as to thing that I would never be able to
love or be loved...that was...until that day. I felt something stirring inside
of me. A comforting and warm feeling." Again Akira turned around to look at the
water with a smile. "At first I didn't know what that feeling was but after some
time I realised that I had developed feelings for you. Deep feelings. I
forcefully had to realise that I had started to love you....", he told Shuji. He
didn't see the widening of Shujis eyes when he realised what Akira was trying to
tell him. And of course Akira didn't notice how the brown eyes of Shuji started
to sparkle and how a bright smile was forming on his lips. "... And then the day
you had your lunch with Mariko....I couldn't take it anymore...I went to the
roof and just started to cry. I couldn't hold the tears inside of me
anymore....I never cryed in front of other persons. I never cried in front of my
parents. So I chose to cry alone on the rooftop of the school. And then ... you
appeared behind me...out of thin air....I was so shocked. I didn't know what to
do. But your words comforted me and the gentle look in your eyes....it was the
final straw...i couldn't take it anymore....well...you know what happened next.
I was so happy to be your friend. I was so happy to be finally able to be with
you. I really hope you can understand my feelings, Shuji. I don't expect you to
return them but....I would be glad when I wouldn't push me away just because
I.....I.....", at this point he broke up and stayed silent, not able to form the
words that were playing in his head over and over. 'I really hope he won't hate
me for what I said.'

Shuji continued look at Akira. He looked so small now that he had tucked up his
legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around his knees. It was a strange
picture. He never imagined the strong Boy like that. Of course he knew that
nobody could be strong all the time like it had happened 2 years ago. But ...
Shuji was overjoyed to hear those words from the other teen. He would have never
managed to gather enough courage to tell his special someone his feelings. This
special person he always mentioned when some girl asked him out or told him her
feelings. This special person he couldn't get out of his mind since they first
met. This special person....who was now sitting right in front of him, fearing
his anger or some other negative reaction. He closed his eyes, shook his head
and took a deep breath. He fixed his eyes on the slightly trembling form of his
best friend grinned. Shuji couldn't hold himself back any longer therefore he
wrapped his arms around Akiras shoulders and hugged him tightly. "Thank you,
Akira. Thank you so much. I would have never been able to tell you what I'm
going to tell you know if it weren't for your words. Akira....I....", he
stopped, looked deeply into the shocked eyes of the other boy, "I....I love you.
Akira suki dayo.", as Shuji said that he blushed intensely. 

If it would be possible Akira's eyes would have widened even more. The brunette
couldn't believe what he had heard. Shuji, his Shuji had said that he loved
him...His mind refused to work...it just repeated Shujis last sentence over and
over again. After some minutes of silence Akira dared to move again....he
blinked hastily and opened his mouth to say something but is voice flat out
refused to make a sound. He tried again and this time he was only able to let
out a happy shout. He started to laugh uncontrollable and threw himself against
Shuji causing him to fall over, landing on his back with Akira on top of him.
Akira laughed and hugged the other boy while he started to roll around with him
in the sand. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha .... I can't believe it. Gods....Ha ha ha ha
ha....Do you know how happy you made me? Do you know? Do you? Akira HAPPY~" At
this Shuji started to laugh to and happily joined Akira in his childish
behaviour.

They continued to roll around in the sand until they ended up being washed over
of a big wave. They stopped their movements and remained frozen in spot because
just now they realized their positions.

Again Shuji layed on the sand with Akira all over him. Their clothes were wet
from the water which continued to wash over their legs up to their hips. Their
hair was limply haning off the heads. Akira supported his body weight with his
forarms and their faces were just centimetres away of each other. Each of them
was breathing heavily. Shuji still had his hands rested on the other boys hips,
starring up into Akira's deep eyes, noticed the brunettes chest move rapidly
against his own, feeling the hot breath against his own lips. 

Akira didn't dare to move. He layed on top of Shuji, on the beach, wet from the
oceanwater and breathing heavily from the messing around. He based himself on
his forearms which were placed directly next to Shuji's head. He noticed the
little drops falling from his hair on his best friends cheeks but he was caught
in the moment and the loving look in Shuji's eyes. He could feel the atmosphere
heaten. Slowly he lowered his head, not losing the connection of their eyes.
Right before he reached the lips of Shuji he stopped, seeing the other one
closing his eyes slowly and welcoming the next move he also closed his eyes and
closed the remaining space between them, putting his lips gently on top of the
other boy's. 

A wave of emotions was rushing over them. They felt the feelings of the other
one while they continued to gently move their lips against the other pair. The
kiss was soft and and pure, filled with every emotion they had vor each other.
Shuji moved his hands from Akira's hips over his back just to let them rest on
his shoulderblades, pressing him closer to himself. He could feel Akira letting
his tongue move over his bottom lip, gently asking for entrance. He signed
contently and slowly opened his lips to let the other boy's tongue move into his
mouth, moaning slightly at the touch of his own and Akira's. He moved his head
to give the boy on top a better entrance. The brunette slowly let his tongue
move against Shuji's. Stroking it, messaging it and alluring it along with his
own into his own mouth. 

They continued to kiss gently for a while until they both had to stop because of
the lack of air. Keeping their eyes closed they panted a few times before they
looked at each other again. Both of them had a deep blush on their cheeks and a
slightly clouded look in their eyes. "...wow...", was all Shuji could say. Akira
could only nod and say, "Yeah...wow...I never thought...it would feel so good."
The brunette smiled and nudged Shujis nose with his own. "...But....does that
mean, we're ..t-together now...?", Shuji asked shyly. Surprised Akira's eyebrow
rose a bit. Reassuringly he stroked Shujis hair and answered simply: "But of
course ... or do you think I would kiss just for fun? ... Well, of course I'll
start doing that now...", he winked playfully at Shuji, "...but only with you."
Akira leaned down and placed a short kiss on Shuji's lips. The other boy blushed
deeper and nodded smiling. "Hm....I think we should go home now. I mean...I
don't want you to catch a cold now, ne?", said Akira and stood up just to reach
out to help Shuji getting up. "No, you won't.", giggled Shuji and let himself
being pulled to his feet. Akira started to walk of after he grabbed Shujis hand.


They walked to the street until they reached the frontdoor of Shuji's house.
"Well....see ya tomorrow?", asked Shuji. "But of course, honey, kon", Akira said
in his childish manner with his little hand-fox. "Uhm....do you wanna come over
tomorrow? I could cook us lunch.", offered the slightly smaller boy. "Hontou?
You would cook something for me?", exclaimed Akira overjoyed and flung his arms
around Shujis shoulders. Giggling Shuji stroked over Akiras head when the other
boy buried his face in his neck and started nibbling and softly sucking on the
soft skin. "Sure. Everything for you, you know?" They stayed like that for a few
more moments until Akira was satisfied with his work, licked over the abused
spot and leaned back. "Well then, see ya tomorrow. I'll be there at...something
around....8.", and with that he turned around and started running towards his
home. Shuji stood there for a few seconds, but then he finally realised what
time the other one had said and whirled around, "WHAT? Oi, Akira~...", he tried
to stop the other boy but he already was too far away. He signed defeated,
"Hn....That's so typical for him...." Shaking his head he turned around to open
the door to get some sleep before his hyper now-boyfriend would come over.

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